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Saturday Humor: Hitler Learns Of Brian Williams' Downfall
“He’s a goddamn moron! You think keeping track of whether you were shot down in a freakin’ helicopter is like forgetting where you put your keys?
That’s like confusing whether or not you were mauled by a tiger!...
it's like being unsure if you had a threesome with Sofia Vergara and Kate Upton..."
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Forget Brian Williams' exaggerations. Comcast just wants to save the balance of his $30 million contract by canning him.
Drudge Report banner headline:
Hackers loot Russian banks of $300 million.
http://www.nytimes.com/2015/02/15/world/bank-hackers-steal-millions-via-...
I've been hit with over $25K of fraud in the last 30 days. Checking account, then credit card. All returned, but huge hassle. Banks won't tell me what happened. No theft of credit or debit cards. Bank said maybe someone stole my mail and got their hands on a statement. Bull Fucking Shit. Checked our mailed statements -- none missing.
Mrs. Rand is convinced the money is flowing to black ops or the Fed (same thing I guess) and the whole hacker thing is made up. Can't say she doesn't have a valid theory.
Brian Williams net worth is estimated at $ 30 million dollars and his annual salary amounts to $13 million.
http://getnetworth.net/brian-williams-net-worth/
So he works about 3 hours a day – 20 days a month – not counting vacation time – that’s 240 shows a year - he makes roughly $54k per show or $18k per hour + first class travel & hotel & food + who knows what else - all paid for by his employer.
Since light travels faster than sound, some people appear to be bright until you hear them speak.
Brian Williams
Williams has been at this gig for a long time. At $13M a year, $30M net is pretty weak. I'll bet he's wishing right about now that he'd spent a little less on hair gel over the years.
Well, piss on Brian Williams. I sat next to Elvis when he was flying the UFO
So there!
Ha!
I whipped both Elvis' and Bruce Lee's ass one night, deeply impressing both Sofia Vergara & Kate Upton (more on that later) and shot down that fucking UFO with an RPG I fired from my open cockpit bi-plane!
That was you in the escape pod? ;-)
Hilarious stuff !
BTW, that actor is exemplary.
"Prompter Monkey"???? Uh-oh....dat soundz ray-cisss!!!
Obama, Holder and Sharpton are gonna be so pissed about that line. Better watch out. Clearly, this will call for more interwebs regulations...
...oh wait...
;-)
I have really grown to appreciate Hitler.
I'm certain you can grow to appreciate a weekly visit to an experienced psychiatrist even more; especially once the medication starts working.
That was weak, Eirik.
Olbermann...dear lord no.....please not Olbermann.
BTW, that actor is exemplary.
If you do not own Downfall, click over and purchase it now. I cannot recommend it more highly, the whole movie is exemplary. The girl comforting the crying girl outside the room is secretary Traudl Humps, and the movie tells her story of working for Hitler. At the end you meet the real person, who stated she at first felt blameless afterward, because "how was anyone to know?" That is, until she happened upon the memorial for the martyred Sophie Scholl, and became grossly convicted in her soul.
OUTSTANDING MOVIE
Chuck? Chuck Norris? Here on the Hedge? way Cool.
Something to tell my #grandchildren
"I sat next to Elvis when he was flying the UFO"
OCH!
Well, laddie, who the hell do you think built the thing? Ye' 21st century people still think that cellphones were invented by yourselves! Ha'nt ye' ever heard of TIME TRAVEL? I was the chief engineer on the U.S.S. Enterprise when your great-great-great grandmother was wearing DIAPERS!
Sincerely,
Brian Williams
His agent must hate him @ 10%...
Lying for empire pays well.
Though, I wonder how the perks in Hades are?
The banksters need to repay us.
For the record, the Brian Williams rumor percolated for a dozen years on veterans' and milblogs and social media. The tipping point was his repeating the chopper claim on primetime at the NY Rangers game last week. That set off a Facebook firestorm and a genuine media outlet (Stars and Stripes) picked up on it and finally assigned a card-carrying reporter (Travis Tritten) to get out there and start running down leads and interviewing people for an actual article in an actual newspaper. Then Brian was cornered and the inch-by-inch confessional began.?
I heard about it many years ago and wondered why no blowback then.
most good liberals have very good accountants that make network very small. I be Williams houses are worth more than that...then the swiss and cayman accountants...and holding companies...that is how today very wealthy liberals roll...little taxes...lots of lies
Anthem?
Don't have Anthem. When I saw the Drudge story tonight, it all started to make sense, though.
Well , if they give up drug smuggling for bank embezzlement, surely thats an
improvement.
So there is that.
Unlike most politicians, they can chew gum and walk at the same time.
Watch your bank statements, everyone. I never used my checking account for online transactions which would be the most obvious culprit, yet it got hit for big bucks (for me). And my CC that got hit later was set up for auto pay with the same checking account. The best explanation I've seen so far for how both were hit is that my bank got hacked.
Bank security is a joke here in the US, decades behind europe.
On my offshore HSBC account, I need three different things to log in, plus a matched keyfob
number generator that synched to my account, then a texted transaction number to complete transfers.
Good luch trying to hack that.
I'm convinced they don't do that here because the average person would stop using the banks. A guy with an average account balance of $400 isn't going to go to the hassle. It's certainly been an eye opener for me.
To play Devil's advocate. The Rewording in The Smith Mundt Act in a narfarious Defense Appropiations Bill a couple of years ago makes it perfectly legal to Proppagandize The American People.
Their have been other court rulings siding with the Criminal MSM making it perfectly legal to lie in media reporting.
Makes perfect sense as to why Lie'n Williams has been in closed meetings with NBC & his Attorney.
I just press my cock to the fingerprint reader on my iPud and access all my bank accounts, my annuity, the TD Ameritrash, send money to Swizzyland or Iraq or Somalia, whatever...
Works for the checkout at Target now, too!
LetThemEatRand
Regarding your fraud.
You don't happen to use yahoo.com as your email address.
Hackers have been able to get into it for over 6 years now, which I know from personal experience.
I have an old Yahoo email, but never use it and it's not connected to any CC's etc.
I think our government is actually doing all the hacking. Bastards.
And don't forget about Operation Choke Point, which may explain the bank not telling you what happened. Thanks, Patriot Act.
You and my wife are in complete agreement.
So, how is yer wife Ayn these daze? :>D
I'm making over $7k a month working part time. I kept hearing other people tell me how much money they can make online so I decided to look into it. Well, it was all true and has totally changed my life. This is what I do... www.globe-report.com
Oh noes, I will have to move all my money out of these insecure Russian banks into safe, secure US banks. Can anyone recommend a safe, secure US bank?
...
Anyone?
...
1st National Posturpedic!
Fucking priceless!
Slow news day?
Lets complain about valentines day. When the hell did it become big? So much candy, cards and crap for everyone.
Not just the US, but everywhere, people are now pressured into the whole valentines day thing. Worse is Mother's day? What, you only appreciate your ma on one day of the year? Ja fucken shmuck. Oughta whack you silly. (not you... the subjective you). I'm going to SF with the amigos tonight. Hopefully people don't wish me "Happy Valentines Day."
it just about bragging rights when ppl compare what they got or what they gave...
Were i to have freedom to speak. All to easy.
Just be like me, no sweetie in sight each V Day, as usual (not by choice necessarily).
Problem solved.
Bet when that lonely blondie wishes you a HVD you aren't so hard asses about it.
"Let me call you 'Sweetheart'" (via Bing Crosby, circa 1934)
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GgvDariuAN0
Those pre-war 'greater depression' gems are absoulutely PRICELESS!
NOW:
Get that 'lonely blonde' to dance with you at the bar you're at, and for GOD'S SAKE, don't talk about BRIAN WILLIAMS as you bed her!
Buying a heart-shaped candy at the corner store: $9.95 (a ripoff)
Getting her to actually suck your penis before you penetrate her: PRICELESS!
For everything else, there's 'MasturbateCharge'.
(For those who suffer with 'early release', Viagra might be a solution. Consult with your Dicked-her for details. other available items include 'nasal implants' that allow you to ignore the stench of rotting tuna combined with urine, as you service her 'inner needs', as well as a spray-on deodarant for your 'dirty woodie' thing.)
Terrorist.... It's your patriotic duty to SPEND mindlessly - preferably getting deeply into debt in doing so.
EXCEPTION:
'Father's Day'.
This is an 'optional' holiday for those who are still not completely 'politically correct' (but when we achieve our goal, as we will, we will see the dawn of a New World Order, and the 'Thousand Points Of Light' will be FINALLY realized. No more will women need men, like men need women! The 'rule of law' will ovecome the 'rule of the jungle', and Shiites and Sunnis will once again be bi-polarly harmonious together!).
When the Moon is in the Seventh House,...
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kjxSCAalsBE
Sincerely (and with much love),
G.W. ('Poppy') Bush
So Brian Williams wasn't the tail gunner on the space shuttle .
Stant, you owe me a new laptop screen for that one! Hysterical! Best comment of the day award!
funny shit there son
lmfao! Great comment!
Al Gore inventing the internet is still #1.
I think Tesla takes the cake. I think Edison, runs a close second.
What defines the difference in nuclear isotopes? (1 neutron)
What defines the 1/2 life of nuclear isotopes? (1neutron)
"So Brian Williams wasn't the tail gunner on the space shuttle ."
OF COURSE NOT.
He never claimed to be.
He was the co-pilot of the first Space Shuttle. The one that got shot down. By the Taleban. With a Russian RPG. Over the WTC complex. While interviewing Mohammed Atta. While becoming a member of the 'Mile-High Club' with Maria Bartilomo. And working with Einstein on the first designs of the Neutron Bomb (at the same time as he invented the Internal Combustion Engine with some German named 'Otto' something or other; who changed his name to 'Ford' when he emigrated to these United States).
(Of course, I might have 'mis-remembered' these historical events.
Actually, I don't give a rat's ass if I did. I'll get a six-month paid vacation, and I'll be back to help the final phases of dumbing down the populace.)
Brian
Pretty fucking funny!
Downfall was the Greatest Biopic Hollywood never made or could have made.
Downfall trailer - YouTubeOnly a Third Reich scholar could appreciate just how truly great that film really is.
Something is rotten in Denmark
The Lone Wolves are out and about it seems
I'm not inclined to capitalize on another persons misforgivings.
Why would such a talented? person, mis<>represent history for so many years?
I once visited Area #51, and got a blowjob from an Alien that was LONG CL?
I'm not shittIn Ya. ;-D
Brian Williams said he don't play games, said he quit kindergaten on account of recess.
It starts at the top, Yen. When they can lie with impunity, why shouldn't I be allowed to lie?
That's why I know we've already had our fall as a nation. It just hasn't shown on the outside yet. Like a 100 year old Oak that looks strong and healthy until it unexpectedly breaks in a minor storm, revealing the rotten and hollowed-out interior.
Fantastic comment NoDebt!
That 100 year Oak indirectly gave you the opportunity, to see your potential, through that mirror in the bedroom of your "first love"?
Finance?
I am heartened by the down-arrows. Apparently there's some fight left in us still.
Finance is not my first love. Nor my only.
I've been placid. Those arrows aren't my doing. I'm the greenies.
I like you.
No worry, No Debt. I have no doubt that sock puppets have been dispatched to the internets to do some damage control.
Speaking of which, I see that NBC is auditing Mr. Williams' expense accounts. Perhaps he is something more than just a liar?
It's like when you blow an SBD Fart & blame it on someone else or the dog.
That, Dear Sir, is the kiss of death.
- Ned
The down arrows were from people who haven't the foggiest idea what you are talking about...sorry
A better question is why did it take so long to shootdown his Space Shuttle Maine story? Another question is, why now?
Williams had been lying for so long delivering the prop...er news he just has no freakin idea what the truth is or that he was even lying...das Fuhrer was not happy,
I chuckled until the very end...that last line had me bursting out in laughter ...thanks for this one as we all need a good belly laugh every so often...man I was wiping my eyes.
Der Fuehrer at his best.
"re-actviate Olberman"--- all i needed ....omg...LMFAO
Fabulous.
My favourite one of these take-offs is Hitler-Gangnam Style: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Qr_TaMfN56c
That is hilarious.
Wow. Here, Bruno Gantz is immortalized.
"with those circus freaks at msnbc" cant breath...
I snorted coffee out my nose.
So you're telling me...
http://www.justpo.st/channel/and+frodo+says+to+me+here+you+take+the+ring
Evey few months a new drunk comes to the neighborhood bar and he's been in this and that war, people buy them drinks, until one day somebody, who's been in that war, asks a few questions and it turns out that guy is just a regular bullshitter who's never been even out of state.
When I was drinkin' I never (well, maybe once or twice for drinkiepoohs) told anybody that I was a vet. I did however tell "folks" that I was the last living descendent of Jesus Christ. I don't remember if that got me any drinks. Ya' know, wrestled Beelzebub with one wing tied behind my cross. Huh....
Shit, I had no idea we were related...
dup*
who is your bank, LTER?
the first rule of vet club ......
Kill a gook for the banksters?
Hey, they use the same video .... and just change the rant .... Brian Williams got into trouble .... for that kind of stuff ? LOL
Brian Williams is going to Disney World - he is hoping to catch the measles and die - so do his wife and kids.
These "Hitler learns" clips never get old.
Olberman is not that scary. But if they let Larry O'Donnell out of Sharpton's shadow we are all screwed.
Give him a break. Zapruder took all the credit for his film.
Willilams is small potatoes compared to the daily lies we're subject to from that moron in the White House and his never ending lies. I've just learned that everything he says is the opposite of what he intends to do or what the intent of whatever he is proposing will do. It's bizarro world.
not funny
About this time 70 years ago Hitler was having that actual meeting....he was getting beat up from all sides...and he knew he was losing the war at this stage..
Finally someone pays a price for lying about Iraq.
NBC = Nothing But Crap....
Okay, here is the problem with Brian Williams and why he might qualify for another chance which was alluded to in the Hitler clip. Brian, who is a nice incipid kind of guy, read the lines, met people in high places , saw what was going on from the inside and saw fit to lie. He lied for self adullation, to be admired and to achieve self respect. It did not work. In contrast, Cronkite achieved respect because he opposed the Vietnam war and Oberman for being critical of decisions made in Wash. So Brian as it turns out was strictly for himself with no other mantra to shape his persona , other than being a good guy that you can trust because he was in a helicopter that saw combat. My advise to Brian is to take on a critical cause he really believes in that would help mankind and I do not mean putting on a Firemans uniform and march in Memorial Day parades or being a spokesman for a hospital charity. Some suggestions might be policy in Ukraine, income disparity, Neocon policies in Wash. Healthcare fraud and abuse, Financial system abuse----anything other than reading lines. Problem is it may be too late and Brian is just a nice guy that tripped up on his own success. It happens to many, not just news anchors.
Vulgar talk, teenage bathroom talk, is one thing. Blasphemy is something else again. This approach will be attractive to atheists and teenage talkers. But it is a good way to destroy the credibility of a website and reduce the audience of serious visitors.
Humor, BTW, does not provide adequate cover.
Which group are the minuses coming from? The teenage trash talkers? Or the atheists? (It’s not like that Hollywood producers are on Zero Hedge this morning.)
I want NBC to rehire Williams. I want him to interview Al Gore first thing so we can find out once and for all which one of them invented the internet!!??
Tuco