Obama To Allow "Moderate" Syrian Rebels Call In B-1B Bombers For Air Support

Tyler Durden's picture




 

While Obama desperately tries to stick to his now crushed "Nobel peace prize winner" image, by not succumbing to an all-out land war in the one nation where his progressive "pacifism" brought him fame (and according to some, the presidency), namely Iraq, the rest of militant, "interventionist" US foreign policy is rapidly starting to resemble that waged by the most brutally rabid, neo-con Republican leader. Case in point an absolute stunner reported minutes ago by the WSJ, according to which the White House has decided to provide pickup trucks equipped with mounted machine guns and radios for calling in U.S. airstrikes to some moderate Syrian rebels aided by American B-1B bombers!

 

According to the WSJ, the planes would drop 500- and 2,000-pound guided bombs, a typical load for the B-1s that have operated in Afghanistan as well as Syria. Using the B-1’s sniper pod, which allows the aircrew to precisely target moving objects, the crew could target tanks, motorcycles and other moving vehicles.

Finally all that near-record lobby spending by Boeing, maker of the B-1B Lancer will come in handy.

 

Do note: only moderate Syrian rebels will be given control over US military equipment, certainly not the more extreme Syrian rebels such as the Al Nusra front, various Al Qaeda splinter cells and of course, the various ISIS progenitor groups which the US is "fighting" this very moment!

That's just one part of it: as part of America's creation of its next well-equipped, well-armed, well-trained and very lethal adversary in 2-4 years time, when the "moderate" Syrian rebels are found to have been quite "extreme", the U.S. will also start training rebels, pardon - moderate rebels - who are "waging a two-front fight against the extremists and Syrian regime forces."

The projected timeline of the brilliant US plan:

The first training sessions are to last between six and eight weeks. The training will focus on helping the rebel forces hold territory and counter Islamic State fighters—not to take on the Syrian army.

 

After that the U.S. will consider introducing what it is calling “the new Syrian force” onto the battlefield in Syria, officials said.

 

A team of four to six rebels will each be given a Toyota Hi-Lux pickup, outfitted with a machine gun, communications gear and Global Positioning System trackers enabling them to call in airstrikes. The fighters will also be given mortars, but the administration hasn’t decided to provide the teams with more sophisticated antitank weapons.

Of course, the battle to give Qatar free passage of its natural gas pipeline across Syria is not new (recall: "Mystery Sponsor Of Weapons And Money To Syrian Mercenary "Rebels" Revealed"): "the Central Intelligence Agency began a covert program to train and arm moderate Syrian rebels in 2013, providing ammunition, small arms and antitank weapons to small groups of trusted fighters. While that program continues, it is widely viewed as having fallen well short of its aims."

This time will be different, however, because "the new military program is supposed to train a larger number of fighters and, with the addition of air support, officials say they hope it will have a more dramatic impact on the battlefield."

The real question, however, is dramatic impact against whom? The real answer: not ISIS, which is just a strawman to finally topple Qatar's, pardon, America's real enemy in the region, Syria's Assad.

And therein lies the rub, because this entire operation has nothing to do with suppressing an ISIS which has seemingly specialized in making Hollywood quality straight to YouTube decapitation videos, and everything to do with finally crushing al Assad's regime, something the US started in 2013 with the infamous YouTube clip of chemical weapons which nearly turned into an all out war before Russia intervened and halted what could well have been a global war.

Sure enough: "The administration also has been grappling with legal and policy issues—including the highly charged question of whether to confront Syrian President Bashar al-Assad ’s forces if they engage the American-trained rebels."

And the problem, as Zero Hedge readers knows very well, is that a green light by Obama allowing the "moderate" rebels to fight Assad's soldiers and regime, is just a matter of time. At which point the only pending question is how will Russia respond, because then Putin will have no choice but to defend his strategic natgas territorial interest using military means. Which is when the previously noted proposal of retaliating on US-ally Saudi Arabia becomes a very distinct possibility.

Which is where the latest Obama plan runs into difficulties: how to continue pretending that the "war" is against ISIS when in reality it is all about Assad:

U.S. officials don’t know whether American planes will be able to provide air support if the moderate forces it trains get in a fight not with Islamic State, but with forces loyal to the Syrian president.

 

Because the U.S. isn’t at war with Syria, U.S. military lawyers are wrestling with the question of whether American warplanes would have legal authorization to strike Mr. Assad’s forces, even to support a U.S.-trained rebel force.

 

Aside from the legal issues, officials also said that, as a policy question, the White House hasn't given a green light to supporting the rebels if they get into a battle with the Syrian military.

One thing is certain: with the help of his new warhawks, neo-confriends, Obama will quickly transform what is supposedly a war on ISIS (which recall in August started as an isolated humanitarian intervention that would promptly end) into its true essence: an undeclared war on the Syrian regime.

Some Republican lawmakers, including Sens. John McCain (R., Ariz.) and Lindsey Graham (R., S.C.), have been critical of what they see as a U.S. campaign in Syria that is too narrow to succeed. "How can we train up a Free Syrian Army or send any other force into Syria if we don’t first deal with the Assad air threat,” Mr. Graham said at a confirmation hearing this month for incoming Defense Secretary Ashton Carter.

 

Some countries believe it should expand to take on the Assad regime. Others believe it would be a mistake to dilute the focus, and say attacking the Assad forces could quickly help Islamic State grow stronger.

 

Officials said that expanding the war to the Assad forces could fracture the international coalition gathered to fight Islamic State.

Which means in the coming weeks and months look forward to a surge in false flag "attacks" blamed on the Assad regime, aiming to give Obama validation to expand the "War against ISIS" to include Syria's regime as well.

What this would do, is create a whole new coalition, one backed by Russia and various other non-Western alligned nations, which will support the Syrian president in what will ultimately be a replica of the near-global war outcome from the summer of 2013.

And while the whole thing is so stupid that it would be hilarious if it wasn't tragic, the biggest non-sequitor in the entire plan is also the most basic question: just how will the US discern which of the Syrian "rebels" are moderate, which we assume means will only fight against US enemies, as opposed to extremist, such as all those Syrian "rebels" the US armed in 2013 only for them to be subsequently revealed as al Qaeda and ISIS predecessors.

Actually, it is neither hilarious nor tragic.  Conveniently, none other than Andy Borowitz provided the blueprint by which the US government should proceed when sorting out the "moderates" from the merely homicidally Jidahist, decapitation-happy elements:

From the Borowitz Report:

Welcome to the United States’ Moderate Syrian Rebel Vetting Process. To see if you qualify for $500 million in American weapons [ZH: and US taxpayer-funded air support], please choose an answer to the following questions:

As a Syrian rebel, I think the word or phrase that best describes me is:
A) Moderate
B) Very moderate
C) Crazy moderate
D) Other


I became a Syrian rebel because I believe in:
A) Truth
B) Justice
C) The American Way
D) Creating an Islamic caliphate


If I were given a highly lethal automatic weapon by the United States, I would:
A) Only kill exactly the people that the United States wanted me to kill
B) Try to kill the right people, with the caveat that I have never used an automatic weapon before
C) Kill people only after submitting them to a rigorous vetting process
D) Immediately let the weapon fall into the wrong hands


I have previously received weapons from:

A) Al Qaeda
B) The Taliban
C) North Korea
D) I did not receive weapons from any of them because after they vetted me I was deemed way too moderate


I consider ISIS:

A) An existential threat to Iraq
B) An existential threat to Syria
C) An existential threat to Iraq and Syria
D) The people who will pick up my American weapon after I drop it and run away


Complete the following sentence. “American weapons are…”

A) Always a good thing to randomly add to any international hot spot
B) Exactly what this raging civil war has been missing for the past three years
C) Best when used moderately
D) Super easy to resell online

Thank you for completing the Moderate Syrian Rebel Application Form. We will process your application in the next one to two business days. Please indicate a current mailing address where you would like your weapons to be sent. If there is no one to sign for them we will leave them outside the front door.

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Tue, 02/17/2015 - 18:22 | 5795844 Glass Seagull
Glass Seagull's picture

 

 

Where "moderate Syrian rebels" = mossad dressed as moderate Syrian rebels.

Tue, 02/17/2015 - 18:25 | 5795862 johngaltfla
johngaltfla's picture

According to Obama, ISIS is a moderate Syrian rebel group. Does this mean they will be able to call in air support against the US Army's 3rd Infantry Brigade?

02.15 13:00 ET BREAKING NEWS: Obama Goes Full Metal Bush – Deploys 3rd Inf. Brigade to Kuwait for Combat against ISIS
Tue, 02/17/2015 - 18:32 | 5795910 NoDebt
NoDebt's picture

Put it on your next gun purchase application, guys:  Moderate Syrian Rebel.

Tue, 02/17/2015 - 18:36 | 5795934 Chuck Norris
Chuck Norris's picture

It's getting really difficult to keep track of the extremist muslim terrorists and the moderate muslim rebels and the peaceful muslim victims.

 

 

Tue, 02/17/2015 - 18:42 | 5795955 ZerOhead
ZerOhead's picture

It's going to get a little easier when McCain and Al Baghdadi announce that ISIS has joined Assad in the battle against the Free Syrian Army...

Tue, 02/17/2015 - 18:47 | 5795973 Wolferl
Wolferl's picture

The number is 1-800-AIR-SUPPORT.

Tue, 02/17/2015 - 19:05 | 5796047 smlbizman
smlbizman's picture

there should at least be a captcha question to weed out the extreme spam bots......

Tue, 02/17/2015 - 19:10 | 5796067 Latina Lover
Latina Lover's picture

Just when I think our foreign policy cannot get more absurd, we now have this 'Alice in Wonderland' moment when you realize that it is ALL BS.

  You have to be stuck on stupid to believe any of this is anything other than naked use of brutal force by criminals disguised as soft head liberal R2P (responsibility to plunder).

Tue, 02/17/2015 - 19:17 | 5796081 nope-1004
nope-1004's picture

the White House has decided to provide pickup trucks equipped with mounted machine guns and radios for calling in U.S. airstrikes

Then its confirmed:  US is supplying arms to BOTH sides.  This is an incredible joke.  No wonder the internet makes goverining difficult, as effective governing in their eyes means bald-faced LIES.

 

Tue, 02/17/2015 - 20:11 | 5796463 nmewn
nmewn's picture

Its a Libyan thang, they're making a YouTube video for posterity ;-)

Tue, 02/17/2015 - 21:34 | 5796844 g speed
g speed's picture

B1 Bob is alive and well    --http://realchange.org/dornan.htm

Tue, 02/17/2015 - 22:09 | 5796985 espirit
espirit's picture

Wowza, a two thousand pound bomb to take out a motorcycle et al?

B1 jockeys need sortie hours also.

Wed, 02/18/2015 - 00:37 | 5797514 I-am-not-one-of-them
I-am-not-one-of-them's picture

US Foreign Policy is very clear: IMPERIALISM.  It's not obscure, it's in your face.

Wed, 02/18/2015 - 06:45 | 5797888 giovanni_f
giovanni_f's picture

Putin will announce soon that Russia plans to support moderate regimes in the ME in their fight against extremist-separatists who do not respect the territorial integrity of Syria with lethal weapons such as S-400 and S-500 (when available)

Tue, 02/17/2015 - 19:21 | 5796140 Greenskeeper_Carl
Greenskeeper_Carl's picture

I do not have the words to describe how insanely idiotic all this sounds. If this doesn't signify that we have officially gone full retard, I don't know what will.

Tue, 02/17/2015 - 19:29 | 5796188 Bangin7GramRocks
Bangin7GramRocks's picture

Jesus Titty-Fucking Christ! What a mythical level clusterfuck!

Tue, 02/17/2015 - 19:30 | 5796192 Bangin7GramRocks
Bangin7GramRocks's picture

Jesus Titty-Fucking Christ! What a mythical level clusterfuck!

Tue, 02/17/2015 - 20:53 | 5796653 perchprism
perchprism's picture

Let me guess---your first post needed a happy little friend...

Wed, 02/18/2015 - 02:27 | 5797657 StychoKiller
StychoKiller's picture

Well, titties normally travel in pairs! :>D

Tue, 02/17/2015 - 20:08 | 5796441 El Vaquero
El Vaquero's picture

Yup.  Every time I think I've seen the dumbest thing ever from the WH, I'm unpleasently surprised.

Tue, 02/17/2015 - 22:16 | 5797021 hal10000
hal10000's picture

Imagine the wonderful things that the new Republican Administratin in 2017 will bring!  Democrats are right, the Republicans are worse.

If there was ever an era for a "None of the Above" option on the ballot, this is the time.

Tue, 02/17/2015 - 21:57 | 5796942 XitSam
XitSam's picture

My literal words were "Oh my fucking god."

"I remember that cheating bastard that sold me those diseased sheep 23 years ago and I know the grid coordinates where he lives. Time for some B1 retaliation." -- Omar the Tent Maker's Nephew.

Tue, 02/17/2015 - 19:22 | 5796156 Hope Copy
Hope Copy's picture

Please not, bombing is an US option.  The can call all they want, but the US will choose when and where to bomb.

 

How long are they really going to rely on this?  Not very.

Tue, 02/17/2015 - 19:22 | 5796157 Hope Copy
Hope Copy's picture

Please not, bombing is an US option.  The can call all they want, but the US will choose when and where to bomb.

 

How long are they really going to rely on this?  Not very.

Tue, 02/17/2015 - 19:07 | 5796054 Anusocracy
Anusocracy's picture

They're trying to determine if it's legal to attack Syrian forces if they are attacking "moderate rebels"? Am I understanding that correctly?

If so, these people are absolutely insane.

Tue, 02/17/2015 - 20:29 | 5796546 El Vaquero
El Vaquero's picture

Yes, these people are absolutely insane.

Tue, 02/17/2015 - 19:49 | 5796277 jefferson32
jefferson32's picture

> 1-800-AIR-SUPPORT

"Please press one to confirm you are a moderate fighter. Thank you. Now please enter the GPS coordinates you would like your air support delivered to. Thank you. Your order has been confirmed, package is under way."

 

Wed, 02/18/2015 - 00:35 | 5797510 caconhma
caconhma's picture

If US ruling oligarchy have any brain they must recognize that the Obama administration and the Congress represent a very serious threat to the USA and its national interests.

The Obama administration and the Congress started wars that will eventually go out of control with a consequent regime change here in America.

Tue, 02/17/2015 - 20:42 | 5796595 turnoffthewater
turnoffthewater's picture

"the White House has decided to provide pickup trucks equipped with mounted machine guns"

Call 1-800-plumber.

And away goes problems down the drain.

We plumbered some folks

Tue, 02/17/2015 - 19:12 | 5796074 Richardk888
Richardk888's picture

ISIS is the same Al Queda group we are arming in Syria.

US foreign policy is an epic failure and has been since WWII

Tue, 02/17/2015 - 20:47 | 5796618 Cynicles
Cynicles's picture

The US created both.

Wed, 02/18/2015 - 00:58 | 5797557 I-am-not-one-of-them
I-am-not-one-of-them's picture

... and use both sets of mercenaries in the objective of Syrian overthrow, whatever means necessary, the horror, the horror, the horror.

Unbridled Imperialism facilitated by a fooled citizenry who just suck up the propaganda and hate whomever they are told to hate, without reasoning, purposeful media conditioning.

Lots of recent black ops in close succession in coalition countries who required justification for their US support, along with the US puppet regimes Egypt and Jordan carrying out bombing runs.  Remember that list of 7 countries in 5 years?  After Syria, there's only Iran left. 

Tue, 02/17/2015 - 18:59 | 5796025 Antifaschistische
Antifaschistische's picture

I'm kind of a dollars and cents guy...the only thing that really offends me, is spending a billion dollars to blow up a toyota pickup with a couple of dudes in the back shooting an AK.

Tue, 02/17/2015 - 20:53 | 5796652 booboo
booboo's picture

Then don't dare read the fine print or your head will explode.

"Using the B-1’s sniper pod, which allows the aircrew to precisely target moving objects, the crew could target tanks, motorcycles and other moving vehicles."

Maybe unicycles too.

Tue, 02/17/2015 - 21:08 | 5796730 perchprism
perchprism's picture

I wonder what kind of truck we'll be sending over there?? Dodge trucks are ram-tuff! Ford F-350 with a lift kit?

Wed, 02/18/2015 - 02:30 | 5797663 StychoKiller
StychoKiller's picture

Somali "technicals," eat yer heart(s) out! (but NOT literally!) :>D

Tue, 02/17/2015 - 19:02 | 5796033 p00k1e
p00k1e's picture

Can the small business Main Street types export AR's to just the friendly rebels??

It’s time to make some money. 

Tue, 02/17/2015 - 18:33 | 5795916 ZerOhead
ZerOhead's picture

So we are now using 500 to 2,000 pound laser precision guided bombs to take out motorcycles?

Tue, 02/17/2015 - 18:42 | 5795957 JohnG
JohnG's picture

Its the only way to be sure.

Tue, 02/17/2015 - 18:47 | 5795972 max2205
max2205's picture

Barry....2,000 lbs bomb on a motorcycle 

Clinton tomahawk a tent

 

Those Dems are learning 

Wed, 02/18/2015 - 02:32 | 5797668 StychoKiller
StychoKiller's picture

JohnG FTMFWin!  Don Pardo, tell him what he's won... ROTFLMAO!

Tue, 02/17/2015 - 18:49 | 5795978 kaiserhoff
kaiserhoff's picture

No Zero, only ENEMY motorcycles.

You know, the one's who run around with towels on their heads yelling Allen's Snack Bar.

Tue, 02/17/2015 - 21:06 | 5796723 ILLILLILLI
ILLILLILLI's picture

Apparently Allen's Snack Bar is great...

Tue, 02/17/2015 - 22:13 | 5797008 espirit
espirit's picture

Mopeds are motorcycles?

Tue, 02/17/2015 - 22:42 | 5797152 resaci
resaci's picture

If it's a dud at least it will crush-em!

Wed, 02/18/2015 - 03:35 | 5797738 boattrash
boattrash's picture

Got Radio?

 

...This is B1-B back to base...Confirm target 1300 Penn. Ave? Roger that...Inbound.

Tue, 02/17/2015 - 20:46 | 5796614 Cynicles
Cynicles's picture

Moderates burn captives alive, the ones they do not behead.

Extremists are the ones that speak out against the tyranny of the US gov.

Tue, 02/17/2015 - 18:27 | 5795880 NOTW777
NOTW777's picture

and he cant find all the ISIS guys in Libya beheading Christians in public

Tue, 02/17/2015 - 18:30 | 5795898 wakablahh
wakablahh's picture

ISIS the fastest growing start-up on the planet. Wall Street cant wait for an IPO. 

Tue, 02/17/2015 - 18:34 | 5795927 Usurious
Usurious's picture

 

 

whom do they Bank with? BCCI or HSBC? Inquiring minds want to know.........Im sure its a rothschild bank

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