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Satirical Sunday: "Jobs for Jihadists" Applications Flood State Department
After U.S. State Department Spokeswoman Marie Harf announced that the long-term strategy in the fight against ISIS was to create jobs for potential jihadists, countless terrorists began filling out applications. Here are a few examples (along with a blank application for potential jihadists on the job hunt)...
Please, keep in mind this is satire, ok?
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Well, somebody gets it. (Circles within beheaded circles, h/t "The Girl with the Custard Filled Cranium" from DeptState)
'Nuff said and QED
Why don't any of the contact emails end in .il?
This kind of perverted humor must be absolutely hysterical for Tribe members. Too bad for us gullible goyim cattle that we will be expected to go kill some brown-skinned semites in the Middle East who have wronged us in no way whatsoever.
This kind of juvenile humor should be expected from the likes of Trey Parker, Matt Stone, and Jon Stewart, but they represent the interests of an alien race, who are utterly repugnant and disgusting in their nefarious ways.
Damn. I knew I should have purchased the domain when I thought of this last week:
ISISjobs.comTo be honest.. (cuz i guess it needs explainin to some).. Yes..its fuckin retarded that the only way 'you people' seem to get it, is when it is soooo over the top, exaggerated, 'non pc' humor is used to express how fucked up the world is.. (YES ...'ala matt parker /trey stone ' humor.)
THAT Seems to be the only way fucktards seem to get a perspective on things.
And YES it IS disappointing. .. but hey..a point is a point..and maybe a few more of you 'get it' now.
Kinda sux that zh has come to this..but this appears to be evidence of what actually works.
Wow.
how about instead of trying to create jobs for them, we just leave those people to their own devices. Stop intervening in their affairs, bring all our troops home and keep them here, no matter what 'humanitarian crisis' pops up. You want to go to the middle east and bring 'humanitarian aid' or as a journalist/photographer? fine, go ahead, its a (formerly) free country, but go at your own risk, and don't be surprised if something bad happens to you, thats why you don't go to fucking syria...
I understand where you're coming from. However, you have to take a look at these acts they are committing and draw upon the lessons we learned from Hitler. The world really kind of looked the other way until it was too late and by that time we needed a world war and millions of deaths before that situation found a resolution.
I feel like it's a very damned if you do damned if you don't situation. It's hard to say "do nothing" when these people are running amok in the Middle East raping, torturing, beheading, burning people who don't agree with them. It's also hard to say "do something" because it's none of our business.
I don't know if there is a right answer to it.
In a way, she's right about them needing jobs.
The Middle East is full of young men who do nothing all day but sit on their asses because that region produces nothing of value except oil. The state pays them (with money it gets from selling oil to us) in an attempt to keep them from overthrowing the government. The money allows them to breed like rabbits instead of allowing Darwinism to thin the herd. Eventually, they get bored and inevitably end up turning violent in one way or another.
If it sounds familiar, it's because the Middle East is the equivalent of an American inner city with a whack job religion thrown into the mix.
You really hit the nail on the head with that last sentence.
GIVE EM JOBS!!
As grenade testers, target stands, targets, vehicle crash test dummies, new medicine test subjects...
Dental school practice patients and especially... Fukashima cleanup techs!
McMolotov's head gets sliced off in 3...2...1..
I hope I get the job, oh the suspense is killing me! ;-)
No, nmewn.
You're needed right here. The Hasabara Desk suits you perfectly well.
Defending the zionist talmudist paedophilic bankster ideals is what you're best at. Why chance a career-change at this stage of your zionist-enslaved life right?
No, let the CIA, and other mossad operatives continue to work with ISIS instead.
There's a good [Hasbbara] boy.
In other unreported news,
Nearly 500 miners rescued after gold mine fire in South Africa
Hey! Its my Mohamet troll-boy.
Hows it goin, fucked any goats today?
Say what?
listen nmewn, you talmudist paedophile defender, and listen well: I'm not a Mohamet Troll-boy.
I'm a True Semite who is sick and tired of your Zionist Talmudist paedophile bankster defence, in the name of the real Semite; that's all!
Your actions, i.e. your defence of the Zionist child murdering, Talmudist Bankster enslaving scum is what's causing more and more people to hate the Semites of this world.
You're no different to ISIS. They are causing damage to Islam, and you're causing damage to Semitism.
Fuck Zionism and Fuck Talmudism, and above all, fuck their enabling supporters.Say what?
Er, then again, don't.
Ali Mohamet Yousef, son, boopsie, babe, goat fucker, boy lover (whatever) you're trolling me.
Get over yourself, you're really not that important to me.
Correction Asshole:
YOU are the one who isn't important enough for me to troll.
So, in conclusion, fuck you, fuck your zionism banksters and fuck your sympathies towards paedophilic Talmudists.
Deal?
"YOU are the one who isn't important enough for me to troll."
But, alas, you do.
NMEWN, maybe, just maybe, if you are REALLY good, you can get a job as a trustee in these FEMA camps I keep hearing about and pass out books to the rest of us.....
Ya think I could be trustee? Yeah, think of the possibilities, I could move right on up to warden boot licker and official toilet swabbie.
Why, I could be somebody! ;-)
They eat qat.
That sounds like good reasoning ( I don't know about the Darwinism thing) and I agree. If you have work and have to pay for all of your children's needs, you're likely to procreate less. But there is something else they have in common. People of Europe or European descent have not treated them very well in the past and present. That plays a big part in the equation as well.
McMolotov: I hear they even tried shifting all the Wall Street banking jobs over to the ME but nobody wanted those either (/s). Nothing says Success like being the 3rd cousin removed from a long dead Camel Lord and thinking you’re Royalty… and getting paid a nice stipend from oil reserves to do nothing. Who the fuck needs a job over there?
Almost forgot… those pesky Arabs are pretty good at posting YouTube videos of radical drifting stunts and smashing up their cars and bystanders shortly after. Darwin “wins” again.
"The Middle East is full of young men who do nothing all day but sit on their asses because that region produces nothing of value except oil. The state pays them (with money it gets from selling oil to us) in an attempt to keep them from overthrowing the government. "
Sounds like the best thing for the US to do is to:
1. Stop buying Oil from these places under any circumstances.
2. Remove the US Military, State Dept., and US affiliated/sponsored NGOs from their lands entirely.
3. Prevent any travel or immigration by persons from these places no matter their purported wealth or skills.
4. Let these populations self destruct in their own sectarian and ideological sewer without costing the US any further blood or resources.
They can practice whatever they like over there in the M.E.; but, promotion of Sharia and the like should not be tolerated any more than trafficing in children or cannibalism here.
Fuck their monarchs and warlords and immams and ideologues.
Fuck the MIC warmongers and corporatist exploiters. They need to learn to build products that are useful for more than destruction of people and/or property.
Fuck the equivocating p.c. douche-bags and all the statists and ideologically retarded bureaucrats that maintain that interferring in the name of civility or diplomacy or globalist aspiration or trade promotion or whatever is their right and life's calling... IF they love the culture of these primitivist revanchist savages they can go live amongst them and immerse themselves in the experience.
A greenie for the lucid comment, and
+10 for revanchist
So good to see a post composed with a grasp of the language combined with critical thinking skills.
The US did not enter WWII because of anything Hitler did, but because Roosevelt provoked a Japanese attack while pretending neutrality, and arming one side to the teeth. Much like Wilson's high treason in WWI.
If you want to invoke historical parallels, please try to get your facts right.
What did I get incorrect?
see below
Hitler happened and "required" our intervention(agree to disagree on that one) due to our original misguided intervention in Europes affairs in WWI. The vengeful treaty of Versailles paved the road for hitler, or someone just like him. Interventionism begets moar interventionism. Same as always. Thats the lesson I get from history anyway. What you, and John Mccain seem to not be able to wrap your heads around is that we "intervened" for over a decade, and had lots and lots of troops on the ground and took over the entire country of iraq. A decade later, trillions wasted and thousands of US troops killed and the result? ISIS and all the clusterfuck-ery. So lets say we intervene again. We say say mission accomplished and leave, only to have something else like this happen. We fucked that entire region up, but eventually you just have to cut your loses and move on. Further involvment will make it worse, not better. For a historical example of why this will happen, see: right now
That part of the world has been fucked up long before America got on the scene. In fact that part of the world has never not been fucked up. So I don't buy the premise of your argument.
So if a country has a stable government and good conditions for people (though not always great), and the CIA installs a coup to cause chaos, that doesn't count? Read any good reliable history book. There are many many examples of this around the world.
"That part of the world has been fucked up long before America got on the scene"
That sounds like yet another argument in my favor, in favor of noninterventionism. If that pace has been fucked up long before we got there, what makes you think US military power is going to change that? We are going to go in and forcefully install 'democracy' on a culture that doesnt want it? I don't think so. Your argument is another one for leaving those people to their own devices. They want to live like barbarians cutting peoples heads off? Go right ahead. Doesn't sound like a threat to mainland America to me. Its only a threat to Americans who are in that region. Simplist way to solve that is stop sending our people there.
"We fucked that entire region up, but eventually you just have to cut your loses and move on."
No, you broke it, you bought it. America should have to stay in Iraq until the whole country is at least as good as it was under Sadam, along with all the other MENA countries they have intervened in.
I hate to say it, but the Turks should mop up the ME right to the Suez canal. Partition Iraq with Iran. Let the Kurds have a small state centred around their capital Kirkuk? (I think that is their capital, I could be mistaken) they want more fuck them; take out /make a deal with Syria but stick with the Russians to stop the Saudi/pipeline (which is in the Turk's interest as they now have the Russian pipeline coming through their territory) make a deal with the Israelis with a separate Palestinian state which will recognize Israel -tell the British/American/French to fuck off and be happy it's Turkey's headache-they won't put any boots on the ground.The American.British/french can sell Turkey weapons to keep the MIC happy and tell the Germans and Japanese to finance the arm purchases,
Turkey has to go to good old war; its already seeming to start.
When the Ottoman Empire had that area it was relatively peaceful. Lawrence of Arabia,WW1, before he died, regretted taking the Ottomans out in the Levant and essentially giving it to the colonials-which now include the US- and they have fucked it up royally.
Let the regional powers take over this incredible mess.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Wcze7EGorOk
How Arab tribalism works...
The West has been experiencing terror attacks because the tribes that send their young men to kill and die are not being punished for it.
The only way to stop it is find the tribe(s) that are sponsoring terrorism and exterminate them. Utterly. Totally. Completely.
Killing only individuals has no effect, they are not concerned with the individual; killing one terrorist merely fuels their determination and turns more of the tribe's children into terrorists. Conquering their Nation will have no effect. They have no concern for their nation or whoever happens to be controlling the patch of desert they are in this week has no effect on their psyche.
The ONLY way to get the terror attacks to stop is to find the tribes involved, send in mercenaries to kill every single member of the tribe. Exterminating EVERY ONE OF THEM... from the oldest grandmother to the 2 week old newborn.
It's what these tribes have always done to one another to maintain order. It works perfectly & it's expected... The fact that we have yet to actually execute a single terrorist simply proves that we are weak and an easy target that can be assaulted without fear of reprisal.
Yes, it is ruthless, yes it is cruel, but one harsh reprisal can save countless lives.
If only we weren't too cowardly to do it, proving time and time again to the moose limbs that we are the perfect target... cowards.
Hiltler had German Engineering and technical abilities behind him. ISIL can not maintain a Toyota truck much less the airplanes and tanks needed to fight the West. The only thing that will let them succeed is our inability to man up and meet force with overwhelming force. We will also have to man up and deal with the inevitable bombings and massacres in a forcefull way.
Um, you know ISIS is a western intelligence agency invention, right?
I've had this talk with my pals. How many of us would make it to an orange jump suit, kneeling passively, waiting to have you head sawed off?
My death would be violent by stabbing or being shot. But it would not be passive.
At least that's what I tell myself.
I don't understand that mentality. But then again, never been associated with anything close.
The people that fight back don't make it to the published videos.
Those that resist likely endure a longer and more painful demise by example so the bulk go to inevitable death with " less" of a gruesome experience.
Carl,
In order to justify Trillion dollar yearly budgets, the War dept, MIC, NSA, CIA, DHS, FBI etc etc etc needs an enemy and the mooslims and now Puttie Poot happen to be on the losing end of that fact....otherwise I completely agree with you
I understand that, and agree with you there 100%. I guess the point Im trying to make is that while there are certainly people who do as you describe, nothing we can do can change that. What needs to be done, and CAN be done, is to wake enough people up so that they don't keep falling over themselves to support the next bullshit war these people you listed push on us just because a bunch of animals burned someone alive, and understand that since our involvement in that region is the cause of all this, it therefore cannot ever be a solution to it.
You guys are arguing with logic backed by facts, but it's government
The reason we don't do all that Carl is cuz we cant make trillions on miltary Industrial contracts. DUH!
Sarc/
The zip code should be 666.
Satire? How can we tell the difference?
Simple. If you look closely at those application letters you can see where it says. "Made by Obamabirthcertificate.com" in the lower corner.
So they have to be legit.
That girl from State is going to wake up one morning with Kerry's head under the sheets.
She probably wakes up every morning with that.
But the rest of him is usually still attached...
It's actually "Creepy Joe" Biden.
"Obama picks State Department spokeswoman to head White House communications – but her 'jobs for jihadis' deputy will NOT be promoted, insider says"
A State Department insider says Psaki's deputy, Marie Harf, will not be promoted to the top job following disastrous performances this week
Harf's high-profile media appearances were a 'test run,' the official said, 'and she failed spectacularly'
She said repeatedly this week that the US shouldn't try to kill all of the ISIS terrorists, and should instead help them find jobs
Read more: http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2960294/Obama-picks-States-Psaki...
This is my favorite part...
She refused to back down Tuesday night on CNN, insisting that the Obama administration should 'get at the root causes' of terrorism. 'It might be too nuanced an argument for some,' she sniped at her legions of critics.
Yea...that's right, I'm too fucking stupid to understand her progressive argument for bringing peace to the middle east.
She's an insult to blondes.
She and her boss look like characters from Saturday Night Live. The comedy writers couldn't have come up with anything more inane.
Now that Obama has DHS targeting the 'biggest' threat of the uppity constitutionalist white folks, is he going to get them jobs?
No, they're still targets for the IRS.
Now the accountants & lawyers on the other hand are making a killing.
Too late for satire. Tragic farce is now the only option.
Is there a math test?
Yes. You have 4 people and 1 machete, How much time you need to behead them?
It takes Brian Williams only a couple of minutes.
And he uses his bare hands. Judo chop!
fucking Hong Kong Phooey
Not much with my kukri's (which is PRECISELY why all this amateur hour ISIS bullshit with dull steak knives make me laugh).
oh, they're dull for a reason...
yeah ~ Kim Kardashian's ass is fat for a reason too... A little Mockingbird told me so
what? the one that flew out of her azz?
one?
-
Yes we can ........
.....change we can believe in.
forward -- soviet
LOL, give 'em jobs digging graves for their brothers/sisters of the Islamic State - Anti-Christ religion of pieces!
Please, keep in mind this is satire, ok?
This is the problem with gubmint, and why it should be limited as much as possible. Gubmint jobs attract two types of people: 1. Socio/psychopaths. You will find these further up the food chain in tenured, administrative positions. 2. Talentless, alcoholic, deadbeat types that can't make it in the private sector if their life depended on it. They would be on Social Security disability. These are your rank and file gubmint employees who got their "jobs" because they are homosexual, female, or "people of color".
Sometimes it attracts all three in the same individual. You get a Supreme Court Justice who is a homosexual woman of color that answers to Sotomayor.
Speaking of which if the liberal dems can get on ISIS about equal rights and gender equality it would probably distract them enough that the whole caliphate movement would just implode. We need to really sick the militarized feminists and homosexuals on them.
Ship Code Pink over. ISIS members will fucking slit they're own throats.
Yes. You get the strategy.
"We need to really sick the militarized feminists and homosexuals on them."
Well, don't bother asking GINSBURG to help... U wouldn't want to interrupt her beauty sleep.
I pray she retains a pulse, at least for another two years.
Color me 'FUCKED EITHER WAY' on whether OBOMBER or HITLERY gets to (be told to) choose the (ax)successor(y).
Indeed, Ginsburg is a cunt of the worst kind.
She'll do her bit to make Paedophilia and Necrophilia "legal" in the USA, and proclaim that the people of america are ready for this.
Classic Talmudic Zionist thought.
The bitch already has her fucking burial plot paid for.... in israel!
Fuck Zionism and Fuck Talmudism.
"Militarized feminists" eh? Someone tell Lindsey Graham to suit up.
Sic Gloria Allred on them and they'll slit their own throats!
Someday the western world to come to realize there is no dealing with this Islamic infection. Right now the western world is fighting the "not the Muslims" and arming the "real Muslims" expecting them to fight the "not the Muslims". Just get it over with take the oil and declare Islam a disease of mankind.
Ding. Ding. Ding. We have a winner.
The question keeps being asked " where are the " good" Moslems denouncing this crap?"
You have your answer in the silence.
Good Muslims emulate the life of the Prophet. In other words, what we see as "good Muslims" are not so good in the eye of the Muslims because they don't emulate the prophet. Got that? Check out the life of Mohamed to see what his life was like.
Srdja Trifkovic covers this well in his book, "The Sword of the Prophet."
Fifteen bucks on Amazon.
actualy we got our own bunch of jew haters
even jews that hate jews
there is your silent muslim buddies
I suggest giving them jobs cleaning active volcanoes.
Fukushima needs men, many men, all willing to join allah almost immediately.
And they will glow with pride.
Those teenagers should get some yuks in before they're drafted.
Open enrollment!
~Marie Harf
What is so pathetic is that this person has the job that she does. She believes that she is really smart, a cut well above the "average" Joe. She actually thinks that she gets it! Nothing could be further from the true. She is dense, has not even the slightest clue as to the mind set of the people she thinks "we" are dealing with. It is sad that the USSA has sunk so low that people like this girl have any sway at all.
A true fucking moron!
Sometimes I wonder who the real moron is.
Here I have to really work hard at sixty years old to produce and supply the money to pay that young twit's salary, and her future pension which will be much more than any amount that I've saved over the years.
But those big ass glasses make her look so smart!
But if she had big ass tits and a big ass ass, she wouldn't need the big ass glasses.
Jobs no American will do.
Stealing profits to fund a community of US Hopey & Slaves. When the money runs dry, the community will parish and relocate.
You stupid fucks voted for this communist Assclown twice. Open your wallets. It’s your turn to donate liberals….You won’t be able to use your EBT card. Heads up!
Most in U.S. support President Obama's proposed tax hike on rich: poll
http://www.vagazette.com/news/chi-americans-support-obama-tax-plan-poll-20150222,0,2980264.story
Thanks Atomizer, you put me at ease with your post and link. Obama has never listened to what the majority of Americans want.
we need a way to teach Muslim women to use that hajabib to strangle their men while they sleep and wake up and pretend to wonder what happened. if that happened a few billion times.. the religion might calm down.. men have to sleep sometime... poof what happened to the Wife Beater... all satire of course.. I am Charlie.
Manson.
Dragon HAwk,
No UAE breast sucking while driving into a sand storm advisory zone.
http://gulfnews.com/news/gulf/uae/weather/sand-storm-in-uae-low-visibility-warning-issued-1.1460207
Mariam al-Mansouri on becoming UAE's first female fighter pilot - video
http://www.theguardian.com/world/video/2014/sep/28/mariam-al-mansouri-uaes-first-female-fighter-pilot-video
Sorry FOX, you fucked up on the story about ISIS women. Are the ISIS terrorist in UAE, Sryria, or Washington DC within White House? Or New York, because it's meant to be funny that you and your producer are running a side show for more bullshit to feed the masses. I'm a hard core republication.
You can often spot a terrorist. He's normally 5-13 years of age and has been a recipient of Vichy DC's 3rd bombing campaign on his town.
They already got jobs. They pay well and provide pussy and weapons. Why would they switch?
From the top Jihadist' that American money can buy!
He's ashamed of himself!...
Is that Jihadi "Hebrew" for somebody please fucking "kill me for being terrorist"?!!!!
Which of course he is!
Yes SoCN
You could empty a whole chamber into McStain's head and he'd make as much sense.
You could empty a whole chamber into McStain's head and he'd make as much sense.
WT
I have to keep reminding myself why he is still there. AIPAC money, and American people who don't give a fuck about the "rule of law"!
Tortured in a POW camp for 7 years which he had coming to him for dropping napalm on villages in Vietnam.. Then his father's coverup of the U.S.S. Liberty's destruction and a political career was "hatched"!
He wasn't born... He was "let"!
The real mother was a hen named Doris!!!
Obama can hire a new round of ISIS Post office labor. Going postal will have a new meaning. Just think about all the new Fedex and UPS shipment in-transit Airline delivery bombings. Checking your package delivery will state, the plane blew up.
https://www.fedex.com/apps/fedextrack/
So we move to drone transport. Amazon will hire ISLAM , Stealing profits to fund a community of US Hopey & Slaves. When the money runs dry, the community will parish and relocate.
You stupid fucks voted for this communist Assclown twice. Open your wallets. It’s your turn to donate liberals….You won’t be able to use your EBT card. Heads up!
Most in U.S. support President Obama's proposed tax hike on rich: poll
http://www.vagazette.com/news/chi-americans-support-obama-tax-plan-poll-20150222,0,2980264.story
By late 2016, new Patriot candidates can fly drones to take down bizarre Central Planning bandits & bunch of hooligans from wall street that roam the wasteland City of New York. Everything is operated by a joystick..
Practice makes perfect.
Mad Max (PlayStation 4)
Did you forget the think tank preparation to direct the sheep?
NEW ISIL Horror Threat!!!
It buys them reversing political promises under a national security threat. The storyline has already been written . Today is February 22, 2015. Watch.
None of this would be happening if John Kerry were still alive!
Mr. Ed has already passed away. \ Don't forget to bring heinz ketchup packets to barter with John Kerry on Global issues.
Mr. Ed - Intro (Opening Theme)
All of our best jihadists already have jobs in Washington DC.
Beep, beep, beep, cable transmission: We need to create new terrorist threat zones to convince Americans are under another Terrorist attack. Our three tier tranche returns are hemorrhaging. Light-up another proxy war. Tell those slaves that we own them, Obama is going to attack our high profile earner’s to recoup losses.
Beep, beep, beep: Transmission ended.
OMG... I may ask mr. Lurch about this application form first.
And then, we gonna need another dhimmi....
Omg, I just about died laughing. Bride # 4 indeed.
Actually, the statement by the State Department talking airhead was misunderstood. When she said that ISIS fighters need jobs, she was actually saying that the USA was putting the ISIS fighters on the USA payroll.
Dear Ms. Marie Harf,
Sometimes it pays to keep your mouth shut even if you are a spokesperson....
Looks like a great program, but just like its forebear "the war on poverty" which has had no positive effect to date its going to take quite some time to see results. In the meantime, I support the just announced "Midnight Basketball for Jihadis" program and am pleased that State is already asking for volunteers. Details are a bit sketchy, but what we know so far is State will provide a one-way ticket to the mid east (coach class --- sorry!) for those who meet the program's one job requirement: head must be small enough to go through the hoop!
ISIS are already payrolled by the US, Saudi Arabia and Israel...why do THEY need jobs for Gawds sakes?
These Jihadists are doing it for Allah and glory. They don't need a big budget.
Send that black Pee Wee Herman back to Kenya in a box
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ATOoz7pwneo