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This Is Why Hewlett-Packard Is Firing 58,000
The biggest scandal in today's release of Hewlett Packard Q1 earnings was not that, just as the Nasdaq is knocking on 5000's door, it reported revenues of $26.8 billion missing consensus expectations of $27.3 billion, while beating non-GAAP EPS by 1 cent to $0.92 (up from $0.90 a year ago) entirely due to a massive reduction in outstanding stock and some truly gargantuan non-GAAP addbacks (GAAP EPS declined from $0.74 a year ago to $0.73) pushing the stock down 7% after hours.
The biggest scandal was the company announced that having cut 44,000 workers so far, it will cut 58,000 jobs by the end of 2015. From Bloomberg:
- HP SAYS HAS CUT 44,000 JOBS TO DATE
- HP SAYS EXPECTS TO CUT 58,000 JOBS BY END OF FISCAL 2015
Incidentally, just 10 years ago Hewlett Packard employed a total of 58,000 people in the entire US.
So why is the company axing 58 thousand workers? Simple: so it can cut enough costs on top and continue to fund its now exponential surge in stock buybacks, which in the just concluded quarter was a record $1.6 billion, an increase of 178% from a year ago, and 66% more than the company spent on CapEx, in the process making its shareholders even richer while its management team get massive equity-linked bonuses.
Rinse. Repeat.
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Layoffs? Oh boy, I think tomorrow pushes the Nasdaq over 5,000!
Bonus time.
The bonuses will continue until there are no more employees.
We fucked over some folks.
Fuck the employes.....Ra Ra Ra the fuckin' corporations....OOOOoooo the S&P
What a joke.....What a fuckin' joke
HP is getting rich because its printer ink costs $10,000 per gallon. (Really)
Full Layoff List: http://www.dailyjobcuts.com
Enough Said
If the employees who are fired would join ISIS then the administration could help them find jobs.
" You're fired! "
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=75SEy1qu71I
58,000 is like a 400 lb. WalMart scooter jockey bragging they lost 40 lbs. Check out how much better I look!
(Side note- stay the hell away from HP. That company is heading down the same well-worn path as Unisys, Xerox, Radio Shack and Blackberry into irrelevancy. Their strategy will fail.)
the idea that the road ahead is taking the facist system private, looks like it maybe is the case.
nothing to see here, "folks"...move along.
Dontchya know? We're in a recovery!
The Rebloodlicans and Democrips gangs are in full control and hey....they know juuuuuuuuuust what they're doin' for our own good, "folks".
So just stay calm and keep up with the Kardashitards.
I think I will mail HP a letter telling them they are fired. After having bought 5 HP computers, three lap tops and two desktops over the past four years for my family, I think its time they get the pink slip. They can bid their stock price to the moon for all I care, they are not getting any more of my business. Enjoy the lack of oxygen at the top mofos.
https://ssl.www8.hp.com/us/en/company-information/executive-team/ceo-ind...
Dear HP,
Just wanted to let you know that I have fired your as my computer company. Over the past few years I have bought three of your laptops and two of your desktops. In light of the massive layoffs you have announced, I will no longer support a company that worries more about its stockprice and executive bonuses tied to its performance.
Sorry for the pink slip. You know how it is, shit happens.
Let them know how you feel....by the way I wouldnt fuck meg whitman if she was the last he-bitch on the planet.
I know you all will be sad to read that
JPMorgan to close 5% of its bank brancheshttp://www.cnbc.com/id/102451734
6M potential jew banskters were killed in WW2.
58K goyim losing their jobs is peanuts.
Can't we get some fucking perspective here?
<=- Yes
<=- No
Is this what he meant by fundementally changing America?
Dear Mr. Cosmos,
thank you very much for your letter that we really appreciate.
Best regards,
<Name of a Ivy league PR cunt who cannot distinguish a laptop from a fry pan>
i'll never forgive HP nor Compaq scum for destroying/gutting Digital and foisting over-buggerized intel crapola on us.
even gave away my old HP calculator and went back to using a slide-rule. jeez must be 14 years of not buying an HP product. that's 7 laptop purchase cycles, bitchez. HP printer? nope. 5 printers since then, all Canon.
HP PC's were always shite. the ol' 9000 series unix servers from the 90's were pretty nicely made tho. bygone era :(
Servers I can understand. Laptops and desktops, seriously? HP makes crap front end units and has for a long, looong time.
Lenovo (Chinese) laptops.
Don't care about desktops. They are all pretty much the same Crap Inside anyway.
I bought several HP desktops on the used market and they have performed flawlessly for years. Too bad that they cost me 100 bucks per unit and HP got nothing.
All in your perspective the business owners and banksters (remember they call QE stimulus) are in recovery, while the rest are falling into a black hole. A few are taking cover for the Tsunami.
Bust out? Goodfellas, I think.
Bust out Jim Mora ~ LAYOFFS?!?
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=exOxUAntx8I
Yep, I dreamed of working for HP, in my mind, a truly legendary American technology company. When I finally realized my 'dream' a few years ago, I was deeply disappointed when I witnessed first-hand how HP's legendary inventiveness and creativity had been replaced by laziness and a pervasive culture of entitlement. HP's leadership is nothing more than a cadre of corporate raiders, screwing over every aspect of the company for their own selfish ends. One year ago I quit HP in disgust, and went to work for a small innovative company that was founded by 4 HP engineers 23 years ago. I'm loving it!
HP - a good analogy for what's happening to America. We are so scrood!
Joe, that's what America needs to do. Tell their over paid boss at mega companies to get fucked and go build another real American made company from scratch and enjoy your work even though you get a cut in pay (for a while).
Have you ever looked at the myriad of government roadblocks set up to strangle business, especially someone without the money for corporate lawyers and campaign funds? Forget it. Go overseas if you want to start a business.
Yeah, they used to make the BEST test equipment. Then they decided to diversify into desktop computers, laptops, etc, competing with China.
Then they decided to preload malware on all of their computers. That was fucking genius. I have not so much as touched an HP product since that little adventure with HP.
Like Radioshack and so many other companies in America, HP is suffering from douche-in-a-suit syndrome. Sounds like they have a lot of douches.
Now your dream should be joining ISIS. The jobless terrorist club.
duplicate
Ditto, I landed there in 2001. Just in time for Carly. My first team meeting ... they announced layoffs. The guy sitting next to me, gone. The slow atrophy was demoralizing. Each quarter you look up, while reading the latest bad news, and notice more and more empty cubicles. I got out last year, and I am loving it!
That might be exactly what the largest HP shareholders are tyring to do. They know the company is irrelevant in the long run, so they go full steam ahead with the pink slips, stock buybacks, divestements, liquidations and anything else that will pay out now. Then, once all Preferred Shares are bought back by "the Company", Goldman goes on a sales campaign with loads of hp stock for the pleebs.
I am sure GS can line up a bunch of pension plans to buy up HP at an all time high prices while they short the stock. Just another round of more of the same moneychanger cliques working to the detriment of the goyim.
But as usual Captain Planet you hit it out of the ballpark with your analysis.
Actually, ISIS IS hiring, and they get the secret service BX privileges, too!
Does the job come with US government benefits or are they considered contract employees of Uncle Sam?
Time to buy more Gulfstreams....
http://www.theinquirer.net/inquirer/news/1017418/hp-buys-gulfstream-vs
http://registry.faa.gov/aircraftinquiry/AcftRef_Results.aspx?Mfrtxt=GULF...
http://registry.faa.gov/aircraftinquiry/
HP is a dinosaur and hires CEOs that suck the dick off of what's left of the company.....when these zero imagination CEOs clean the last morsel off the HP bone THEN is will fire its last employee
What exactly are you saying that karlie Fiorina, or however you spell her name, would or wouldn't do to my bone???
Would you want her to do your bone?
Better than making soup out of it.
She is so nasty I would not do her with your bone.
Oh Meg, Oh Meg,
stop pissin' down my leg.
You're stawk's not cheap
but jobs you'll reap
To make the bonus peg!
Yeah, no shit. You used to get 45ml of ink for $15 that could print a few reams of paper. Now you get 8ml for $45.
Fucking joke.
The more we spend on ink, the more stawks HP can by back. The more stawks HP buys back, the more useless employees they can lay off. The more useless x-employees there are, the more workers there will be at McDonalds. The more workers they have at McDonalds, the faster we will get Big Macs at the drive through. The faster we get our Big Macs at the drive through, the more ink will be used on the receipts. The more ink used on he receipts, the more money HP will make. The more money HP makes, the more stawks they can buy back. The more stawks they buy back, the more Managers HP can lay off. The more HP managers they lay off, the more Managers they will have at McDonalds. The more Managers thay have at McDonalds, the slower we will get our Big Macs at the drive through. The slower we get our Big Macs at the drive through, then less ink will be used on the receipts. The less ink used on the receipts, the less money HP will make. The less money HP makes, the less stawks they will buy back. The less stawks they buy back, the more money they will have to re-hire more empoyees. The more employees they re-hire, the more Managers they will need. The more managers that HP needs, means less managers at McDonalds. The less managers at McDonalds means we get or Big Macs faster at the drive through.
A perfect economic cycle
I'm holdin' out for somethin' better. I figure fuck it, while I'm at it why not just shoot my buddy, take his job, give it to his sworn enemy, hike up gas prices, bomb a village, club a baby seal, hit the hash pipe and join the National Guard? I could be elected president.
Yes, you could be President!! And a dam site better then the one we got!!! I humbly volunteer to be your campain manager.
Barry never clubbed a baby seal. That is a despicable untruth.
They use heat printing on those receipts which doesn't use any inks and it's about time you guys start using 3rd party china made continuous ink system! One investment of $50 8 years ago including gallon of generic ink bottles for refill I haven't bought any HP inks since then! Saving me thousands already, get with the program and use generic inks. Hp officejet 7000series are the best their ink cartridge does not require hard reset verse other unit that I have used.
Bravo! Brilliant analogy. Fucking brilliant.
Encore, please!!!
Bravo! Brilliant analogy. Fucking brilliant.
Encore, please!!! This was for Rider on the
Storm, btw.
That is a crime ,, my XEROX printer takes a 100gram toner cart ,, the official XEROX part retails for $55 ... on eBay the Chinese knockoffs , made in the same plant by the same people on the same machines but with a different name ,,, sell for $8.95 delivered.
But my wife says only name brands. Everything else is shit.
$8.95 and it's still 1000% profit!!! Speaking of shit, I have actually refilled my cartridges with shit, and it works perfectly. Donkey shit works the best.
How do you strap the cartridge to the back side of the donkey for filling?
You're so naive thats excatly what hp has been selling people for the las 10 years allowing then to get bonuses what makes them shit more for more profit.
The label makes the difference. You have a Canon DSLR and they charge you $ 56 for a reserve battery. You go to eBay and buy the same at $ 2.99(shipping included) and this may come from the same factory putting Canon stickers on some batteries and selling the rest as generic, because China is the biggest manufacturer of Li batteries.
I was discussing this with a client today. A 400 user networkm and they spent $9K last year, just on printer supplies, not including paper.
I refuse to put a printer in my home, hence my challenges here lie in any communications with The State which, still uses ink signatures, snail mail, and fucking fax machines.
Go google: continuous ink system + your printer make and model
You will find a generic ink system that will let you use ink and never replace cartridge! You just need to purchase generic inks to refill reserver out side the printer, it's extremely cheap if you search correctly. A $50 setup can last you a couple years, I set this up for my pop's business and he hasn't purchase any ink since then and never worry about any trouble
Shooting since the ink refill is on the outside.
Use free site like zerofax.com to send fax with your computer instead of doing it on fax machine.
Yeah, a joke that isn't funny. When the
history of this country is written, these friggin
management reptiles should be so proud.
Scumbags
"Fuck the employes.....Ra Ra Ra the fuckin' corporations....OOOOoooo the S&P"
Never, ever forget that this shit begins, and flows, like a sewer pipe, from the banksters, and their violence-puppets, government. The companies, while also corrupt, and evil to the core, would NOT be able to do this with out the printed theft, fiat, rigged markets, and all the rest that the banksters provide in their efforts to steal as much as they can from the American people--to steal the American country from us.
If the thieveing and coniving banksters were all hung on trees like ornaments, this shit would stop, and like right now.
The banksters need to repay us.
And never, ever forget, the Federal Reserve is NOT just private (not government), not just shysters, and not just an arm of Zion, but Unconstitutional. There is no provision authorizing a so-called central fraud institution, bank. As a matter of fact the Constitution says, in the 10th., that that which is not granted to the US, or denied to the states, is the purview of the states and/or people.
Guillotine the Fed. Audit the heads.
...and from the perspective of 'we'... ourselves in the process.
The propper word is "jewed" not "fucked"
They were hired to keep people working at all costs. That's their job. Just Ask the CEO of the toilet paper factory in Venezuela.
no shit?!
Again the reason HP is laying off is because the NSA fucked it up for them , would you buy HP knowing there is a back door and complete axcess to everything , I think not.
Don't be a fool, APPL is worse and all operating systems are compromised.
"APPL is worse and all operating systems are compromised."
All American tech is compromised. Hard drives, motherboards, probably all the NICs on the planet, all the routers, I wouldn't be surprised if they hid something in Bluetooth. If you're really worried about it, go digital-less.
Or go open source Linux.
NSA Has Legitimate Code Running in Linux Kernel and Android
http://linux.softpedia.com/blog/NSA-Has-Legitimate-Code-Running-in-Linux-Kernel-and-Android-361289.shtml
Since any recent AMD or Intel processor is RISC-based and only emulates x86 instruction sets, you have no idea what kind of backdoors are on the processor, itself.
Security in a fully-trusted, secured version of Linux compiled on a known, clean, trusted compiler has only hardened it against the documented instruction set on the targeted microprocessor. Intel and AMD microprocessors are not fully-documented - there is an enormous amount of proprietary microcode that could be called that has nothing to do with the x86 instruction set. The resulting (emulated) x86 instruction set is what AMD and Intel publish, what compilers use, and what Linux is compiled with.
Since you don't have access to the underlying AMD or Intel microcode, nothing built on top of it is truly secure. If Intel or AMD have NSA-mandated backdoors, they are also under court orders not to disclose them. The NSA would have thought about this twenty years ago.
I don't care about the backdoors. I won't buy HP because their products fucking suck top to bottom.
What do you buy then?
I have had good luck with every HP I bought over the last 10 years.
Yep, very true. Sadly
This is going to end badly for the company.
and then, after there are no more employees.....the bonuses will continue. lmao
Blow Ballast!
http://s9.postimg.org/qni28mqfz/image.jpg
Apparently the US isn't Socialist enough for Tyler. We need to implement European style labor regulations so that no one can be fired. That will really get the economy moving again, right Tyler?
"HP may even start shipping some products by boat instead of by plane, Lesjak said, which could increase inventory but reduce its costs further." Cut costs even further, use pedicab drivers. The looting will continue until HP implodes.
my neighbor's mother makes $86 /hr on the computer . She has been laid off for 10 months but last month her pay was $21128 just working on the computer for a few hours. go to the website... www.globe-report.com
We fired some folks.....
Sorry, fired is now a racist term. The new Obama approved language is "Secularly Dislocated."
well it is better than being-terminated with extreme prejudice!
" resource restructuring...."
"right-sizing."
Corrective and preventive action
We laid off some folks. Like 58,000
But it's a good thing. Think of all the time they can spend with their families now.
We FIXED the glitch.
mor recovery!
Sorry, only part time job creation is counted.
Towards to automate the production. Plenty of robots out there. No human labor needed.
Robots, and H-1Bs. And some amnestied Mexicans.
... so who builds and maintains the robots?
robots
... which come from outer space, right?
Some poor fucker that's who.
A few people will control the resources and everyone else will be poor (if they're even alive), including the few bastards fixing robots that other robots can't fix.
On the road to Elysium.
Grrr! You and your Cylons!
I want amnesty. And a .gov pension. I'm a person. I deserve it.
And yet another true story from the Cold War... Once upon a time, an American submarine went on yet another "secret" mission. Their mission... steal a Russian Sosus buoy, which they did with the help of a group of Navy Seals. When they got it back to the States and opened it up. It was chock full of Texas Instrument chips...
"... so who builds and maintains the robots?"
Skynet
And what is their power source?
Di-lithium clystals.
soylent green
Unobtainium.
And to think, not that long ago, a tech company was valued based on its percentage of cap-ex to revenue, instead of stock buy-backs to revenue. What a shame; HP used to be one of the USA's great companies...
From a garage to a garage, with a few years of prosperity in between.
Bill and Dave's Garage: http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/2/25/20020306-hp-garage-in...
What a shame; the USA used to be one of the world's greatest free nations.
Only if you were white of course.
HP used to have this - We are all family. We don't do layoffs. - mantra going on back in the day.
When the market tanks, stock buy backs will partly take the blame for the false gains. No one saw the moral hazard coming ;^) Frank-Dodd will be amended. CEOs will keep their no-risk stock option gains.
HP? They still around
Are you Sarah Conner?
Surprisingly, yes. In my dealings with Agilent and HP, it was clear that most of the talent went to Agilent. Although I didn't think Carly Fiorina was the right pick for CEO, I think she was accurate in characterizing HP as "a gentle bureacracy of entitlement and consensus." I doubt that much has changed in the last ten years.
When I worked in Silicon Valley, HP was known as being an ink producer.
yes Stock is money printing for stock based compensation... https://www.frbdiscountwindow.org/en/Articles/2014/07/23/10/47/new-colla... just look at the rates and for crony capital rape.
Damned good thing for those 58,000 to lose their jobs during this recovery, otherwise they would probably be screwed........
LOL
It's almost a gift in these times of unprecedented prosperity and opportunity
All they need to decide is, what color is their apron
They are now freed from the shackles of capitalism to pursue their true calling. A new poet.. or an artist... or possibly a musician!
<Joe LaVorgna sees US GDP getting a boost in Q3>
No worries, there is this online website where you can work at home and make 3k a week.
I just saw one where you could make 4k a week. I was about to pay to send my son to college -but now, he's set -he can work for 4k a week for a year or so and then pay for his own college.
No worries, "The fired shall inherit the Earth."
... or is it the meek?
I forget.
Maybe I will go on SSD and sell onesies in front of the likker store...
Oh, wait.
But I am not overweight..
At least tech jobs like these are not important to the survival of the middle class. The bonuses that will inure to the executives from the [short-term] increase in stock price will trickle down into the economy and more quality jobs will be created as a result. Further, these clever executives will move on to another company when HP craters in the future, and create more value somewhere else while demanding the very high pay to which they are clearly entitled, continuing the cycle of job creation from job destruction.
You should get a job as an Executive then instead of collecting disabilty and bitchin about their high salary. At the end of the day, they're employees that can be fired and replaced.
It's a big club,and I ain't in it. But I'm sure you are, which is why you feel that only someone on disability would complain about the current system which rewards a few at the top for short-term business strategies that are enabled by Fed policy and free trade agreements. True colors much?
That's it you see, you just want to get in on the big bucks. Makes you easy to pay-off like any politician.
Must you daily parade your ignorance like a gay fop?
You're not fit to shine my shoes Ignoratius.
Bangar must be a girl .. he fights like one. And your mother weras combat boots so there .. what crawled up your ass and died... or are you Million Dollar Bonus with PMS.
I fight to win dude, I see u never been in real combat. If that means kicking you in the balls and gouging your eyes out, then yes, I fight like a girl.
Dollbanger I thought I told you to meet me on ZH chat, you little turd.
LoL! You sound like a chick I left at the movie theater when I was a kid. This is the way it works. I'll tell you when, you show up all dolled up with your best outfit.
Keep running your hands up under your barbie doll's dress munchkin, cause it ain't gonna happen.
"Mommy, what is a middle class?"
Those are the selfish assholes who still work and pay taxes dear.
I know y'all like to talk about executives getting the giant bonuses and everyone else gets crumbs, but those crumbs amount to a lot of money for those in the upper middle class strata which goes directly into the economy as purchasing. All those 'tech' people in the $75k-$250k compensation range make up a good chunk of money paid out and believe me if that gets hit that will be felt in the local economies.
Did you not see the part about these guys losing their jerbs?
The $75K to $250K strata is exactly what is in the cross-hairs of the neo-feudal model that is coming. They've already conquered the sub-$75K guys. After the "upper-middle" is gutted, they go after the guys who think they are wealthy but don't belong to the Club.
Its a waste of time to worry about what the CEO's make. They were making big bucks when they had huge payrolls as well. Its part of the dying economy that the top dogs die last...its nature. So quit bitching about it and look for the root causes which aren't the CEO's unless you are talking the CEO's of our government. Those are the assholes who are doing the real murdering of the middleclass.
Watched a video on one of the paypal founders (don't recall his name) and he was bemoaning how many qualified potential H1B visas were kicked out of the country. Begging for more government help keeping these valuable assets. No discussion about American workers. All assholes and only wanting more "imports". See where Obama has brought in some 300,000 muslims in the last few years? I wonder what contributions to our economy they are making? Homeland Security maybe???
>So why is the company axing 58 thousand workers?
>Simple: so it can cut enough costs on top
>and continue to fund its now exponential surge
>in stock buybacks,
Like IBM it's basically giving up on the actual business they're in, and turning to financial games.
OTOH 58,000 "workers", what were they supposed to be doing? Will they be missed? Fire everyone, and then keep going, fire them again, fire everyone in Palo Alto, set fire to Facebook.
When will HP come out with a phone? Or an autonomous car? Or a drone? Or a Watson/Siri? Or a breath mint?
"Like IBM it's basically giving up on the actual business they're in, and turning to financial games."
Penny stocks do it, so why not?
Stock buybacks instead of CapEx, not a viable, long-term strategy unless you can borrow at zero forever.
It is an extremely viable strategy for the guys at the top getting the bonuses.
It's all about their salary. Fuck actual sales and business or whether they even stay in business. Better if HP was bankrupt, at least the CEO won't get paid. How much money do you need to change your mind?
Hey, they are probably in their fifties or early sixties. They only have to keep it going for 5 or ten more years, milk that mother fucker like an old cow. What's the problem?
Is UI still 99 weeks?
Exactly!!
When your actual business and sales are declining, but the central planners are printing like crazy to prop up the DOW at the expense of your currency and country, What are you going to do genius, hire more people and expand, or buy your own stock that's being artificially pumped by the Fed?