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If Your Stocks Are Down, Who Ya Gonna Call?

Tyler Durden's picture




 

Janet's direct line..

(free Najarian book for the first 250 callers allegedly)

 

Source: @Not_Jim_Cramer

 

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Fri, 03/06/2015 - 13:06 | 5861729 taketheredpill
taketheredpill's picture

 

 

Cheater.  She used a picture from when she was 16.

 

Fri, 03/06/2015 - 13:07 | 5861734 Winston Churchill
Winston Churchill's picture

He was a handsome boy.

Fri, 03/06/2015 - 13:09 | 5861746 Hype Alert
Hype Alert's picture

When do the margin calls start?

Fri, 03/06/2015 - 13:26 | 5861808 Pladizow
Pladizow's picture

Is this from Krugman's porn stash?

Fri, 03/06/2015 - 13:30 | 5861826 dcohen
dcohen's picture

Haha +1

Fri, 03/06/2015 - 13:39 | 5861876 tmosley
tmosley's picture

>3000

Pretty sure that's not a direct line.  Numbers that end in 000 are usually the front desk.  You'd have to ask for her.

Fri, 03/06/2015 - 13:56 | 5861931 Looney
Looney's picture

The picture in Yellen’s profile is from her college day. This fugly bitch hasn’t changed a bit since then!  ;-)

Looney

Fri, 03/06/2015 - 14:30 | 5862089 Eyeroller
Eyeroller's picture

Yeah, but think of all the money she saved using a bowl to cut her own hairstyle...

Fri, 03/06/2015 - 17:15 | 5862723 Thirst Mutilator
Thirst Mutilator's picture

& there's Marla Hooch... What a hitter!

Fri, 03/06/2015 - 19:35 | 5863206 SeattleBruce
Fri, 03/06/2015 - 23:20 | 5863797 TheReplacement
TheReplacement's picture

Wanna bet on who has 3001?

Fri, 03/06/2015 - 22:53 | 5863746 Who was that ma...
Who was that masked man's picture

Those stains on the picture aren't chicken soup Bucko.

Fri, 03/06/2015 - 13:30 | 5861829 NoVa
NoVa's picture

Let the prank phone calls begin - 

Is your refrigerator running...

Fri, 03/06/2015 - 15:46 | 5862378 venturen
venturen's picture

I think you meant printer...

Fri, 03/06/2015 - 13:48 | 5861905 TheRideNeverEnds
TheRideNeverEnds's picture

The margin calls will start again next week when the S&P surges over 2200.

Fri, 03/06/2015 - 14:27 | 5862075 Hype Alert
Hype Alert's picture

Hah, probably so.

Fri, 03/06/2015 - 13:11 | 5861752 saints51
saints51's picture

I cant stop giggling at your comment. You are not right lol!!!!!

Fri, 03/06/2015 - 13:16 | 5861775 Jethro
Jethro's picture

Obviously taken right after he modeled for Dutch Boy Paint.

Fri, 03/06/2015 - 13:29 | 5861820 Contra_Man
Contra_Man's picture

Handsome Boy Tears... (lots flowing ;)  Thxs Winston

Fri, 03/06/2015 - 13:12 | 5861757 Uncle Sugar
Uncle Sugar's picture

Hah, he junked you!

Fri, 03/06/2015 - 14:00 | 5861944 Goldenballz
Goldenballz's picture

i just dialed, pressed # for directory typed yellen, got connected but they pick up and hang up they dont even say good morning! JESUS someone is grumpy this friday, just wanted to check if they new when rates are going up...

Fri, 03/06/2015 - 14:43 | 5862138 Pool Shark
Pool Shark's picture

 

 

Yeah, what gives?

I justed wanted to be placed on the 'early leak' list with Hilsenrath.

 

They didn't have to get snotty about it, jeeez...

Fri, 03/06/2015 - 23:18 | 5863796 TheReplacement
TheReplacement's picture

And no book either. 

Fri, 03/06/2015 - 13:07 | 5861732 Panic Mode
Panic Mode's picture

Dove Buster

Fri, 03/06/2015 - 13:08 | 5861736 SloMoe
SloMoe's picture

Yell'en for Yellen!!!

Fri, 03/06/2015 - 13:16 | 5861773 silverer
silverer's picture

Just say Moe!

Fri, 03/06/2015 - 13:34 | 5861847 SloMoe
SloMoe's picture

With a rebel yell(en)...

Fri, 03/06/2015 - 13:09 | 5861740 silverer
silverer's picture

By the way, think Janet owns gold?

Fri, 03/06/2015 - 13:37 | 5861863 Herd Redirectio...
Herd Redirection Committee's picture

Yes, but she lets someone else 'keep hold of it' for her.  You know, for security (or is that for rehypothecation).

Fri, 03/06/2015 - 13:08 | 5861741 silverer
silverer's picture

Who ya gonna call?  Don't say "Goldbusters".  Because you'd be 180 degrees off the mark.

Fri, 03/06/2015 - 13:10 | 5861748 timeless21
timeless21's picture

HEY, what color dress shes wearing, blue..gold..white or maybe black?

Fri, 03/06/2015 - 13:10 | 5861750 auntiesocial
auntiesocial's picture

why don't people discuss the actual names of the cocksuckers that really own the world? the real names of the people that own the fed? why don't we call these slime into the spolight everyday?

these assholes could feed err starving African and make the world a better place. fuck these self serving bastards. 

Fri, 03/06/2015 - 13:39 | 5861875 ParkAveFlasher
ParkAveFlasher's picture

They all remind me of my brother-in-law: all the courage, energy, and ability in the world to do something epically stupid. 

Fri, 03/06/2015 - 23:22 | 5863805 TheReplacement
TheReplacement's picture

Thank the lord I'm a lazy sod.

Fri, 03/06/2015 - 13:41 | 5861884 tmosley
tmosley's picture

ZH used to do a series of name and shame articles.  Wonder why they stopped?

Black helicopters circling their offices for a few months, perhaps?

Fri, 03/06/2015 - 13:11 | 5861755 auntiesocial
auntiesocial's picture

http://www.businessinsider.com/who-actually-owns-the-federal-reserve-201...

I am fucking sorry if my swearing offends you. 

Fri, 03/06/2015 - 13:13 | 5861763 saints51
saints51's picture

I am confident you will not find a truthful answer to your question at business insider.

Fri, 03/06/2015 - 23:24 | 5863812 TheReplacement
TheReplacement's picture

They are only here to help.  Says so at the end of the article.

Fri, 03/06/2015 - 13:15 | 5861770 asscannon101
asscannon101's picture

There she is- 237 pounds of pure hawtness. She follows me on Twitter and sexts me pics all day long. Now savor that mental image while you enjoy the remainder of your fucking lunch!

Fri, 03/06/2015 - 14:30 | 5862088 Temporalist
Temporalist's picture

I believe most people learn the hard way not to eat or drink while reading ZH.

Fri, 03/06/2015 - 19:56 | 5863264 reTARD
reTARD's picture

Tell me about it... I've had to replace 2 keyboards already.

Fri, 03/06/2015 - 23:25 | 5863813 TheReplacement
TheReplacement's picture

Nice avatar.  Looks familiar.

Fri, 03/06/2015 - 13:17 | 5861776 orangegeek
orangegeek's picture

#FUCKYOUYELLEN

 

douche bag!!!

Fri, 03/06/2015 - 13:17 | 5861777 Jethro
Jethro's picture

Get to work Matzo Ball. You gotta erase that 1% correction...

Fri, 03/06/2015 - 13:18 | 5861782 Realname
Realname's picture

Fuck you, Ole Yellen!

Fri, 03/06/2015 - 13:22 | 5861788 Clowns on Acid
Clowns on Acid's picture

Just Call Saul ... he is a card carrying member of the tribe..

Fri, 03/06/2015 - 13:29 | 5861823 Benjamin123
Benjamin123's picture

He is actually Irish but plays a Jew because it makes a good impression.

Fri, 03/06/2015 - 13:22 | 5861789 VWAndy
VWAndy's picture

She makes her money the old fashion way. Whore.

Fri, 03/06/2015 - 13:22 | 5861790 Edward Morbius
Edward Morbius's picture

She is jellin' like a felon this morning, after putting on a big short position and calling up Nancy and Chuck and Dingy Harry to let them in.

Fri, 03/06/2015 - 23:26 | 5863816 TheReplacement
TheReplacement's picture

Yeah because absolutely no RINOs have sold this country down the river recently.

Fri, 03/06/2015 - 13:23 | 5861793 Bell's 2 hearted
Bell's 2 hearted's picture

fed governors/presidents currently holding a video conference ... drawing straws ... to see who gets the "bullard" honor ...

Fri, 03/06/2015 - 13:26 | 5861807 wissen dass scheiBe
wissen dass scheiBe's picture

Dutch boy 

Or more like 

Quaker oats can?

Fri, 03/06/2015 - 13:29 | 5861822 Downtoolong
Downtoolong's picture

Calling Yellen is going work about as well as calling Goldman Sachs (the worlds most exempted bank holding company) and asking them for the location of their nearest ATM.

Fri, 03/06/2015 - 13:31 | 5861833 q99x2
q99x2's picture

Thanks I have an urge to call her to see if she'll go up my FAFSA right about now.

Fri, 03/06/2015 - 13:32 | 5861839 DIgnified
DIgnified's picture

"Do you have Prince Albert in a can?"

Fri, 03/06/2015 - 13:35 | 5861851 Armchair Bear
Armchair Bear's picture

202

452

2000

 

does it work?

Fri, 03/06/2015 - 13:41 | 5861888 Keltner Channel Surf
Keltner Channel Surf's picture

My line is always open . . . credit line, that is.

Fri, 03/06/2015 - 13:44 | 5861898 quasimodo
quasimodo's picture

That is actually a pic of Aunt Bea. She was smokin hawt with a hair bun.

Fri, 03/06/2015 - 13:52 | 5861918 Goldenballz
Goldenballz's picture

i just dialed, pressed # for directory typed yellen, got connected but they pick up and hang up they dont even say good morning! JESUS someone is grumpy this friday, just wanted to check if they new when rates are going up... 

Fri, 03/06/2015 - 13:56 | 5861922 Youri Carma
Youri Carma's picture
Who Ya Gonna Call? Ghostbusters! https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Fe93CLbHjxQ
Fri, 03/06/2015 - 13:58 | 5861938 AustrianJim
AustrianJim's picture

No, you send an email to bitch22@clintonemail.com.

Fri, 03/06/2015 - 13:58 | 5861939 AustrianJim
AustrianJim's picture

[Dup]

Fri, 03/06/2015 - 14:24 | 5862052 Polonius
Polonius's picture

What is it with this new title called "Chair"?

Is she the Chairman or not?

Maybe it's all just another hoax.

Fri, 03/06/2015 - 14:24 | 5862053 Polonius
Polonius's picture

What is it with this new title called "Chair"?

Is she the Chairman or not?

Maybe it's all just another hoax.

Fri, 03/06/2015 - 14:24 | 5862056 Polonius
Polonius's picture

What is it with this new title called "Chair"?

Is she the Chairman or not?

Maybe it's all just another hoax.

Fri, 03/06/2015 - 14:58 | 5862220 reTARD
reTARD's picture

That's my direct number, LOL.

Fri, 03/06/2015 - 15:04 | 5862233 optimator
optimator's picture

I called the number and ended up with an operator in Jerusalem that didn't speak a very good English.  She said something about being on the list for pre announcements and getting advance something, but that's all I could understand.

Fri, 03/06/2015 - 15:18 | 5862282 smackdabonurass
smackdabonurass's picture

That's my Louie!

 

Every time ol' Louie uses the bathroom, she snickers about taking a dump on Constitution Ave.

Fri, 03/06/2015 - 15:56 | 5862420 The worst trader
The worst trader's picture

Could they supress TVIX any harder? Must  not let the VIX rise...................... Someone may start to sell some stocks

Fri, 03/06/2015 - 15:58 | 5862425 Brokenarrow
Brokenarrow's picture

just try and get one of these criminals on the phone. the operators have been abused so much they are hostile. call them. i dare ya. it wont be long before they send the pigs to your house.

Fri, 03/06/2015 - 15:58 | 5862428 gunsmoke011
gunsmoke011's picture

This is great - now what some tech savy person needs to do is put together a list of ALL members of congress, employees of the IRS, DHS, NSA, and evey other destructive agency with home addresses and phone numbers included. May as well throw in a few hedge fund managers and Bank Brass while they are at it and then Release The Hounds

Fri, 03/06/2015 - 16:42 | 5862577 cheech_wizard
cheech_wizard's picture

Long overdue...

Fri, 03/06/2015 - 22:20 | 5863656 Sorry_about_Dresden
Sorry_about_Dresden's picture

And they will do what? Shoot up a school? A movie theater?

Send them to 15 Central Park West, the hive, and let them do their worst!

 

Fri, 03/06/2015 - 22:50 | 5863740 Who was that ma...
Who was that masked man's picture

Judging by the picture, she had not reached her full trollhood yet.

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