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Joe Biden Releases (Both) Emails He Wrote As VP
Satirical Saturday via Andy Borowitz via The New Yorker,
In what could be a prelude to a Presidential run in 2016, on Friday Joe Biden released to the public both e-mails that he has written while serving as Vice-President for the past six years.
Biden took pride in announcing that he had sent both messages from his official government e-mail address, adding, “I have nothing to hide.”
Minutes after the e-mails were released, the media pored over the treasure trove of materials, which offer a fascinating behind-the-scenes glimpse into Biden’s tenure as Vice-President.
The first e-mail, written to President Obama in December of 2009, asks about the time and place of the White House holiday party.
The second and last e-mail, written in May of last year, asks the President, “Is our Internet slow today? I’m trying to watch something,” followed by a frowny-face emoticon.
According to Biden’s records, the President did not respond to either e-mail.
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Source: Investors
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Biden knows how to write? SHOCKING!!! [that he was watching PORN, & thus, the internet was SLOW ~ not so much]
Whazzan hemale?
(next question: what else did he accomplish the last 6 years? 2 e-mails is a "Big fuckin' deal, Mr President")
And the Democrats were worried about Sarah Palin. LOL
I call BULLSHIT!
No way does Biden know how to write, let alone use a computer!
Was ZOG Joe shopping for a compelling speech already on the record to have it redacted?
Now that's a "big fukin' deal!"
Holy SHIT! TWO!!!
That many!?
WHO KNEW!?
After the first one, they had to replace the computer. The Secret Service had to tell him he was supposed to LOOK at the picture, not color it.
"How did he find the frickin' crayons again?", one nameless Secret Service agent stated on background...
That was priceless!!!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=X_tN4qggq40
AR15 is a great rifle for women!
That time that Thomas Sowell and Milton Friedman absolutely destroyed him in debate was without a doubt Biden at the top of his game. It's only been downhill since then.
All joking aside, we all know this is total bullshit. If "true" (it would probably be one of the first times in his life he ever told the truth) then he is using other means of communication that aren't as readily traceable. Call up NSA and pull his cell phone conversations. I'm sure they have it all.
Crazy joe IS the District of Columbia wrapped in designer suit and sold to the public. That the public bought that rancid crazy burrito with the genetically modified Obama Joma Black Bean topping says it all. Who's dumber again?
His staff helped him write two letters to Santa. It was a special moment. Both times.
"Dear Santa, All I want is a brain. Yours truly, Little Joey Biden."
"PS - OK, and I want some hot women Secret Service agents on duty while I skinny dip. I am SUCH a STUD!!!"
"PPS - OK, hair plugs. I want hair plugs as well. That's it. The milk and cookies will be out waiting for you."
Hey, his handler put him down in front of a bunch of YouTube cat videos. He thought he was going to see some pussy.
Hey, don't make fun of old "batshit" joe. Remember, he is a foreign policy expert. He got all that learning by sitting in on congressional meetings. Or by a PR firm. I forget which.
Nowadays, being intelligent gets in the way of being the President.
That way you do your masters' biddings without questioning too much
no matter how unpatriotic those biddings may seem. No need to write,
just read the teleprompter.
@ least bozo is a US born citizen
I hope Biden is a better writer than he is a talker because when he speaks he often has foot-in-mouth syndrome.
Unlike Ms. Clinton, just following Eliot's advice:
"Never write when you can talk. Never talk when you can nod. And never put anything in an e-mail." (Eliot Spitzer 2005)
"Never write when you can talk. Never talk when you can nod. And never put anything in an e-mail." (Eliot Spitzer 2005)"
What about stop breathing too, to make the whole thing yet more discreet?
BTW, never knew Spitzer was paranoid.
Never knew who the hell Spitzer is anyway.
and never work when you can tax, get rich off the dole, and convince the stupid serfs you care.
my co-workers do that a lot. I swear
Former treasury sec Hank Paulson said the same thing during an interview wth 60 mins, I think. He said he doesn't use email or write anything down, just picks up the phone.
This has got to be a joke post right?
http://www.newyorker.com/humor/....
Yeah, but you never can really tell these days....
Technically yes, because it's the Borowitz Report, but for some reason, his satire makes more sense than the BS published by the NYT or WSJ.
He was surely trying to watch porn.
That's why he sent so few emails. It was hard to type because his keyboard was sticky.
He probably can't even get a boner, must less jizz the keyboard.
You shouldn't call him Shirley.
Cause he's still the Vice Prezdent of America & Shit.
I was going to make a joke about the possible content of these two emails as indicative of what an imbecile this man is.
The real emails, however, are far more stupid than anything I could come up with as hyperbole.
Those fools will never find my netzero account.
Tech-savvy and hip. Another incarnation of his boss.
He only wrote two because he couldn't remember his password-qwerty123.
I'm impressed he knew how to send an email, tbh.
The reason Obama didn't respond is because both emails landed in his junk file.
As they should have.
The reason Obama didn't respond is he had no idea who "Hunky Joe" was.
The reason Obama didn't respond is he was afraid Biden would ask to join him for golf.
We know one of the emails had to do with the toppings on a pizza he ordered.
What do you suppose 'pepperoni' translates to in the Enigma Code?
Depending on the wheel settings..
But it always comes out as "Wer diese Scheiße frisst"
Could mean something.. I dunno..
The reason he didn't respond is he couldn't remembr whether Biden was spelled with a "y" or an "i".
Biden's handlers won't let him anywhere near a computer or keyboard without supervision.
If they could zipper his mouth shut when cameras are rolling they would.
Breaking...
Biden e-mail #1: Hi Porky - Dozy Joe, here. Hey.. err.. ma boy Hunter tells me his first pay-check from that Uke Gas Co. bounced.. wtf????
Biden e-mail #2: Porky - if I dont hear back real soon, I'm gonna send over that butt-ugly Zio-Cow Nudelman to shove one her cosher cookies up ya fat a$$! Got it PIlgrim?"
Does that include the women he chatted with on that Ukrainian site?
So America is just a heartbeat from having a complete fool as President.
No a complete fool mostly has always been president.
AP Breaking....
E-Mail #1:
To: JoeBiden@Clinton-Mail.com
From: JoeBiden@Clinton-Mail.com
"Hello World"
E-Mail #2 (Reply):
To: JoeBiden@Clinton-Mail.com
From: JoeBiden@Clinton-Mail.com
<"Hello World">
OMG! It worked!!! YeeeeHAAAAAA!!!!!!!
"According to Biden’s records, the President did not respond to either e-mail." I find this hilarious :D
Shotgun Joey's Top 10 Supposed Email "Handles"
10. DelawareBlows@asshat.net
9. ShamtrakMoney@fuckyou.com
8. HairClubPlugger99@yahoo.com
7. NeilKinnockSucksEggs@gmail.com
6. TeethCappingYammerBoy@douchebag.com
5. VacuousBrain@scamster.net
4.ChainMaster@blacklivesmatter.boog
3. ShotgunBlowingJoe69@blairhouse.gov
2. LastInMyLawClass@sowhat.com
1. YooCraneDad@gazprom.ru
What? This is a load of BS. They expect us to believe that Biden can read and write? What kind of fools do they take us for?
so if obama died today, Biden would be President?
Fuck my LIFE!!!!
The worst part is that that has been the reality for the last 6 years...
The best part is that there is less than 2 years left....
Foolish you for thinking there will only be two terms.
I'm pretty sure we all died and went to BizarroWorld hell. (It would explain a lot)
Two more signs of the coming Apocolypse:
First. Joe Biden has learned to write.
Second. Joe Biden has learned to send emails.
We must all prepare for 2016!
Go Joe!
Just saying.
He invented the Obamanet.
Third.Add that to the fact that you can't spell either-just saying lol.
Use spell check next time will ya'...yeesh
2 chainz bidem and his fake chompers
You people are being way too hard on Joe. It's not nice to tease the mentally disabled.
Yeah and just like Obama said "..nobody messes with Joe" LOL
Token white man.
Joe gets on the Choom Wagon too?
Explains much.
The D.C. Fire Department reports:
Read more at http://wonkette.com/217751/life-with-dick-suspicious-fires-moving-vans-m...
Seriously, am I supposed to care? Well, I don't and no I didn't look that shit up. Who has time for that dribble?
Drivel
All the emails prove is that he was too stupid to write and that nobody trusted him. Dude's an F'n idiot.
Yes but he's THEIR JESUIT idiot.
dup...
He couldn't log on again.
The computer wouldn't let him.
He kept fondling the keyboard while rubbing his 'hard drive' against the screen (hey, even COMPUTERS have a moral 'red line').
He even tried using an avatar (WillyGroper4U.at.NSA.gov)... it must be HELL when the spooks at the NSA think you're too sick to be on the 'net...
Soetoro didn't respond to his emails because Soetoro doesn't LIKE watching porn (with girls starring in them).
Some folks don't like using email.
Joe likes the seamy, sleazy, slimey, clammy, sweaty, personal touch...
What Biden meant to say is "I have nothing to do."
What, you thought he worked for a living?
Andy Borowitz is painfully unfunny.
The man who said the US has to spend money to save from going bankrupt Biden? For president really? The stupid ruling the stupid
Joe has that glassy eyed, dementia look that Ronald Reagan had at the end of his presidency.
Really Hillary? One Of Her Secret, Illegal E-Mail Addresses Was mau_suit@clintonemail.com
http://www.thedailysheeple.com/really-hillary-one-of-her-secret-illegal-...
Alex Griswold has reported that Hillary Clinton wants everyone to read her email so badly, she created ten secret personal email accounts to keep all of her communications hidden from government, and thus, public oversight:
And the tenth one?
Nice, right?
==============
What about hdr1-17?
===========================================
Obama says learned about Clinton's emails from news reports: CBShttp://www.reuters.com/article/2015/03/08/us-usa-politics-clinton-obama-...
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Bill Clinton defends his charity's foreign government donorshttp://www.reuters.com/article/2015/03/08/us-usa-politics-clinton-idUSKB...
(Reuters) - Former U.S. president Bill Clinton on Saturday defended donations his family's charity receives from foreign governments after renewed criticism that they would create conflicts of interest should his wife, Hillary Clinton, run for president.
Clinton said it was possible to work with foreign governments even if one disagrees with some things they do, and that it was acceptable for them to donate to the Clinton Foundation if the donations are publicly disclosed.
"The UAE gave us money. Do we agree with everything they do? No. But they help us fight ISIS," he added, using an acronym for the Islamist militant group Islamic State.
The United Arab Emirates donated between $1 million and $5 million to the foundation in 2014, according to a list of donors published on the foundation's website.
It was one of several new foreign governments, including Canada and Saudi Arabia, that have begun giving to the foundation since Hillary Clinton, who is on the cusp of announcing a run for the presidency as a Democrat in 2016, stepped down as U.S. secretary of state two years ago.
Before she took office in 2009, the Clintons and the Department of State agreed that foreign governments that already supported the foundation, such as Oman, Australia and Qatar, could not increase their contributions, and that no new foreign governments could begin contributing. Exceptions to this would have to be approved by State Department ethicists and lawyers, who would check for possible conflicts of interest.
The Clintons also agreed to annually disclose the names of all new donors to the foundation, which does charitable and development work in dozens of countries.
Hillary Clinton's political opponents say the donations would create at least an appearance of owed favors that could cloud U.S. government foreign policy.
I hope you guys realize this is not real. I couldn't care less about Biden, but this is from a column called "Satirical Saturday." It's fake news, like the Onion, only Zero Hedge doesn't make that clear becuase they love riling up you tools either for A) Money, B) a political agenda, or C) the lulz. Probably all three.
The fact Qtip with his utter history of mediocrity thinks he has a snowball's chance in Hell shows you how badly Obama has destroyed the Democratic Party
Republican landslide. Wow
I have nothing to hide
He just bodyslammed Cankles with that insult.
He is running in 2016