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Government Admits It Can't Fully Guarantee 51% Of Insolvent Pension Plans

Tyler Durden's picture




 

Earlier this month we outlined why it is a bad time to be a pensioner. Among the issues we identified were the 18% increase in EU corporate pension deficits occasioned by the use of a lower discount rate in the calculation of the present value of liabilities (thank you Mario Draghi), US public sector pension plans’ shift away from fixed income and towards more risky investments due to an express unwillingness to adopt more realistic investment rate assumptions (because that would mean lowering the liability discount rate), and a rumor (which just today was confirmed as fact) that Greece will indeed look to their plunder pensions in order to stay afloat. 

In the most recent example of why pensioners in the US should perhaps be a bit concerned about the security of their benefits, a new report suggests that the government agency in charge of backstopping private-sector pension plans (the Pension Benefit Guaranty Corporation) isn’t entirely optimistic about its own ability to provide an effective safety net for multiemployer plans. 

Via Pensions and Investments

More than half of multiemployer plan participants will have their benefits reduced if their plans become insolvent and rely on government guarantees in the near future, said a study released Wednesday by the Pension Benefit Guaranty Corp.

 

That compares to 21% of participants now in plans that have already run out of money and rely on PBGC guarantees.

As the following chart shows, the agency is doing a fairly decent job when it comes to participants in plans that are currently insolvent and receiving assistance, but when it comes to backing up plans that are “likely to need assistance in the future,” the outlook is not good, with more than half of participants suffering a reduction in benefits...

Worse still, of the 51% who will have their benefits cut, 54% will see cuts of 10% or more…

Importantly, the PBGC only looked at currently insolvent plans or terminated plans. It did not take into account plans which it believes will be insolvent sometime within the next decade. Were those numbers included, the agency says that “the risk and magnitude of benefit loss increases dramatically [and] the gap between promised benefits and guarantees widens further.” 

Here’s why (via Pension Investments again): 

Many of the plans headed toward insolvency or projected to do so within 10 years represent plans with larger populations or more generous benefits. “That by implication suggests that as the benefit amounts get bigger, the current level of the guarantee will cut a lot more participants and the cuts will be a lot higher,” said a PBGC official involved with the study who declined to be identified. “Future insolvencies are going to be generally less well protected than the current system.”

*  *  *

We’ll leave you with the following from the PBGC’s 2014 annual report: 

The multiemployer program’s net position declined by $34,176 million, increasing its deficit to $42,434 million, an all-time record high for the multiemployer program…

Some plans, even an improving economy will not be sufficient to maintain their solvency...

 

The FY 2013 Projections Report found that, at current premium levels, PBGC’s multiemployer program is itself on course to become insolvent with a significant risk of running out of money in as little as five years. The risk of insolvency rises rapidly, exceeding 50 percent in 2022 and reaching 90 percent by 2025. When the program becomes insolvent, PBGC will be unable to provide financial assistance to pay guaranteed benefits for insolvent plans. 

 

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Thu, 03/12/2015 - 21:32 | 5883854 localsavage
localsavage's picture

More Bs from the governement.  Anyone with basic math skills knows that they are all insolvent.

Thu, 03/12/2015 - 21:35 | 5883863 mayhem_korner
mayhem_korner's picture

 

 

Print moar.  Problem solved.

The only problem that cannot be fixed by money printing is the fact that the printed money has no value.

Thu, 03/12/2015 - 21:42 | 5883880 A Lunatic
A Lunatic's picture

Let's see, should I spend my pension on a loaf of bread or an ice cold 40......?

Thu, 03/12/2015 - 21:57 | 5883926 Pickleton
Pickleton's picture

Well, the ice cold 40 has a bunch of bread in it, plus it'll make you feel all tingly inside.  Go for the 40

Thu, 03/12/2015 - 22:05 | 5883945 Greenskeeper_Carl
Greenskeeper_Carl's picture

All of this sounds an awful like the FDIC doesn't it?

Thu, 03/12/2015 - 22:07 | 5883951 mayhem_korner
mayhem_korner's picture

 

 

The problem with the FDIC is the "F", methinks.

Fri, 03/13/2015 - 01:46 | 5884285 waterwitch
waterwitch's picture

Has the Federal Govt backstopped federal pensions?

Fri, 03/13/2015 - 07:18 | 5884489 Arnold
Arnold's picture

How do y ou think fed pensions are invested?

T- notes? (snikker)

Fri, 03/13/2015 - 08:39 | 5884645 bwh1214
Fri, 03/13/2015 - 10:08 | 5884931 N2OJoe
N2OJoe's picture

WHY THE FUCK am I paying for a "government agency in charge of backstopping private-sector pension plans"?!

Oh that's right, socialize the losses...

Fri, 03/13/2015 - 03:17 | 5884348 lasvegaspersona
lasvegaspersona's picture

Beer= liquid bread

my alky friends all say its true...

Thu, 03/12/2015 - 22:01 | 5883938 Greenskeeper_Carl
Greenskeeper_Carl's picture

Since more conservative investments that pension funds would typically invest in aren't yeilding jack shit nowadays , they will probably start throwing their money in riskier assets like stocks and maybe some of santanders sub prime auto backed securities right near the top and end up being bag holders for the big banks once again

Thu, 03/12/2015 - 21:45 | 5883889 Kprime
Kprime's picture

yes but they make it up in volume

Thu, 03/12/2015 - 22:13 | 5883977 runswithscissors
runswithscissors's picture

this may be a reason the ATF tries to ban some "useful" types of ammo? #M885

 

Fri, 03/13/2015 - 02:57 | 5884340 ebworthen
ebworthen's picture

Go ahead, don't pay the pensions, see where it gets you.

See...problem being...the kids and grandkids need it as much or more than Mom and Pop, so if it isn't there .gov will have an "unforseen" riot/mob/hanging crew that even the current police state won't be able to contain.

I'd say "fuck you" to .gov and Wall Street but I'll wait for the blood in the streets to make my point.

Fri, 03/13/2015 - 05:23 | 5884410 Arnold
Arnold's picture

Don't yo be worring now. The EBT card program is a very successful model.

Keep this in mind. at this point, all government programs are successful because we borrow 30 to 50% of the costs to fund them.

Should be good to go for a couple of more years, untill 2Q of the next administration at least.

Fri, 03/13/2015 - 08:00 | 5884566 yogibear
yogibear's picture

The US is already insolvent so why not the pension plans.

Zimbabwe economics. Print until the currency turns to crap. 

Thu, 03/12/2015 - 22:03 | 5883942 Accounting101
Accounting101's picture

Making shit up is not using basic math skills.

Fri, 03/13/2015 - 06:04 | 5884412 Arnold
Arnold's picture

Imagination is a very important part in development curriculum.

Common Core testing , for example , shows a lot of imagination as well as wishful thinking.

 

I imagine I am getting a superior education, therefore, it is possible.

Thu, 03/12/2015 - 22:22 | 5884003 junction
junction's picture

When you spend over $3 trillion on worthless wars in Iraq and Afghanistan, you have to cut corners somewhere.  Afghanistan wasn't a total loss, CIA insiders made a fortune funneling 95% pure Aghan heroin into the USA.

Thu, 03/12/2015 - 23:10 | 5884121 COSMOS
COSMOS's picture

And Russia, part of a multi pronged attempt to destabilize and wreck the social fiber of Russia so they could walk in and still the resources.

Fri, 03/13/2015 - 01:57 | 5884299 OldPhart
OldPhart's picture

What the fuck is a "Pension"?

Fri, 03/13/2015 - 05:58 | 5884417 Arnold
Arnold's picture

The models are all in place.

 

Delphi Salaried employees.

http://www.vindy.com/news/2014/dec/04/house-bill-fails-help-delphi-salar...

Bondholders

http://www.law360.com/articles/111678/delphi-bondholders-object-to-propo...

 

The whole shooting match is covered by Federal court precedent.

 

Now it's just a matter of scale.

Fri, 03/13/2015 - 06:40 | 5884455 NoPension
NoPension's picture

Yeah, really.
I hear it's free money, received by mostly government employees, after they run out the clock. Some even get "paid" based on their last couple of years salary. So they find ways to really boost the hours, in the fourth quarter.
But they are ENTITLED to it, so,meh...

Thu, 03/12/2015 - 21:35 | 5883862 GOSPLAN HERO
GOSPLAN HERO's picture

It's a bloody joke.

Thu, 03/12/2015 - 21:38 | 5883871 Incubus
Incubus's picture

been telling people that for years. 

 

Society is a roleplaying fucking game. A JOKE.

 

STOPPING SIPPING THE GFUCKING KOOL AID AND AGREE TO A CHANGE.

 

but the kool-aid is so damn, good right?  When war comes around, I'll only laugh.  let the lessers put their lives on their line.  I'm not taking part in this nonsense.

Thu, 03/12/2015 - 21:35 | 5883865 q99x2
q99x2's picture

At least we now know where the FED and the banksters were stealing their wealth.

Thu, 03/12/2015 - 21:38 | 5883870 Creepy A. Cracker
Creepy A. Cracker's picture

Guarantee:

Print. Print. Print. Print. Print. Print. Print. Print. Print. Print. Print. Print. Print. Print. Print. Print. Print. Print. Print. Print. Print. Print. Print. Print. Print. Print. Print. Print. Print. Print. Print. Print. Print. Print. Print. Print. Print. Print. Print. Print. Print. Print. Print. Print. Print. Print. Print. Print. Print. Print. Print. Print. Print. Print. Print. Print. Print. Print. Print. Print. Print. Print. Print. Print. Print. Print. Print. Print. Print. Print. Print. Print. Print. Print. Print. Print. Print. Print. Print. Print. Print. Print. Print. Print. Print. Print. Print. Print. Print. Print. Print. Print. Print. Print. Print. Print. Print. Print. Print. Print. Print. Print. Print. Print. Print. Print. Print. Print. Print. Print. Print. Print. Print. Print. Print. Print. Print. Print. Print. Print. Print. Print. Print. Print. Print. Print. Print. Print. Print. Print. Print. Print. Print. Print. Print. Print. Print. Print. Print. Print. Print. Print. Print. Print. Print. Print. Print. Print. Print. Print. Print. Print. Print. Print. Print. Print. Print. Print. Print. Print. Print. Print. Print. Print. Print. Print. Print. Print. Print. Print. Print. Print. Print. Print. Print. Print. Print. Print. Print. Print. Print. Print. Print. Print. Print. Print. Print. Print. Print. Print. Print. Print. Print. Print. Print. Print. Print. Print. Print. Print. Print. Print. Print. Print. Print. Print. Print. Print. Print. Print. Print. Print. Print. Print. Print. Print. Print. Print. Print. Print. Print. Print. Print. Print. Print. Print. Print. Print. Print. Print. Print. Print. Print. Print. Print. Print. Print. Print. Print. Print. Print. Print. Print. Print. Print. Print. Print. Print. Print. Print. Print. Print. Print. Print. Print. Print. Print. Print. Print. Print. Print. Print. Print. Print. Print. Print. Print. Print. Print. Print. Print. Print. Print. Print. Print. Print. Print. Print. Print. Print. Print. Print. Print. Print. Print. Print. Print. Print. Print. Print. Print. Print. Print. Print. Print. Print. Print. Print. Print. Print. Print. Print. Print. Print. Print. Print. Print. Print. Print. Print. Print. Print. Print. Print. Print. Print. Print. Print. Print. Print. Print. Print. Print. Print. Print. Print. Print. Print. Print. Print. Print. Print. Print. Print. Print. Print. Print. Print. Print. Print. Print. Print. Print. Print. Print. Print. Print. Print. Print. Print. Print. Print. Print. Print. Print. Print. Print. Print. Print. Print. Print. Print. Print. Print. Print. Print. Print. Print. Print. Print. Print. Print. Print. Print. Print. Print. Print. Print. Print. Print. Print. Print. Print. Print. Print. Print. Print. Print. Print. Print. Print. Print. Print. Print. Print. Print. Print. Print. Print. Print. Print. Print. Print. Print. Print. Print. Print. Print. Print. Print. Print. Print. Print. Print. Print. Print. Print. Print. Print. Print. Print. Print. Print. Print. Print. Print. Print. Print. Print. Print. Print. Print. Print. Print. Print. Print. Print. Print. Print. Print. Print. Print. Print. Print. Print. Print. Print...

Fri, 03/13/2015 - 06:10 | 5884431 Arnold
Arnold's picture

And your point?

( sorry impulse post )

Thu, 03/12/2015 - 21:42 | 5883877 Philo Beddoe
Philo Beddoe's picture

George Carlin is looking down upon us with these words from the great beyond. 

Boo! I am dead!. Told you so. It is all bullshit and it is bad for you. 

Thu, 03/12/2015 - 21:43 | 5883883 nmewn
nmewn's picture

Now, dear reader, you will recall the endless meandering logic of statists (pensioners everywhere really) and braying donkeys about the the ability of the Pension Benefit Guaranty Corporation being able to back stop literally EVERYTHING ever promised by ANYONE...cuz its fully funded by government...or sumpin.

Not so much now huh? ;-)

Thu, 03/12/2015 - 22:00 | 5883922 Creepy A. Cracker
Creepy A. Cracker's picture

Taxes will simply continue to escalate in order to pay for government employees - both retired as well as the ones showing up to work doing something that nobody wants or needs.

Thu, 03/12/2015 - 22:20 | 5883937 Philo Beddoe
Philo Beddoe's picture

No. Think of all retirement plans as leafs. All nice a pretty laid out on the front lawn. Quite a sight. One day you are out there enjoying a spot of tea on the veranda with the Mrs.and then all of a sudden a big fucking rake comes down from the sky a takes away all the leaves. The rake then proceeds to hit you over the head and violate your wife. 

Fri, 03/13/2015 - 06:40 | 5884454 homme
homme's picture

Wow, man. That was trippy. Are you saying my lawn will be raked and the Ms. will stop 'yakkin for a few minutes? Despite the new lumps to my noggin, I might just be okay with this.

Thu, 03/12/2015 - 22:02 | 5883939 nmewn
nmewn's picture

I suppose thats why government employees hate the underground economy so much, it starves them and their babies.

So now we know who the real enemy within is ;-)

Thu, 03/12/2015 - 22:01 | 5883936 Accounting101
Accounting101's picture

Ha! Those braying donkeys get your tribal dick hard now, don't they?

Thu, 03/12/2015 - 22:05 | 5883947 nmewn
nmewn's picture

Absolutely, just the mere mention of them lassoed you in ;-)

Fri, 03/13/2015 - 01:50 | 5884289 MrTouchdown
MrTouchdown's picture

Nothing a death panel or two can't solve.

 

/s

Thu, 03/12/2015 - 21:43 | 5883884 Usurious
Usurious's picture

 

 

Mako

''The system has been stealing from the future at an exponential rate to sustain it's own existence.  What happens when that system no longer exists? ''

Thu, 03/12/2015 - 22:08 | 5883955 usednabused
usednabused's picture

First it destroys the future, then the fucking system disappears.

Thu, 03/12/2015 - 22:15 | 5883980 nmewn
nmewn's picture

I miss Mako.

Thu, 03/12/2015 - 23:04 | 5884109 Hulk
Hulk's picture

He freaked some folks out , back in the day...

Thu, 03/12/2015 - 21:44 | 5883885 Tijuana Donkey Show
Tijuana Donkey Show's picture

Does this include Federal, state, and local pensions? If so, great news! I would sleep well at night to think all the GOVT employees got sharfted like everyone else. 

Thu, 03/12/2015 - 21:58 | 5883927 Accounting101
Accounting101's picture

So you are envious? What a prick. Alright asshole. Tell all those pensioners where you work so they know where not to spend those pensions. I'm sure your employer will appreciate that.

You are a spineless piss ant. Instead of advocating for everyone to have the benefit of a secure retirement, you get a hard on as these fellow middle class Americans have their assets stolen. Loser.

Thu, 03/12/2015 - 22:07 | 5883950 nmewn
nmewn's picture

Whats a pension?

Thu, 03/12/2015 - 22:13 | 5883974 usednabused
usednabused's picture

I doubt two of you accountants could be twice as dumb. You criticize someone for hoping those govt pensioners get fucked as hard as the private pensioners? I hope they get it first and harder! Does any govt pensioner give a fuck about what happens to anyone in the private sector? Hell no they don't, all they want is more and more for themselves and make the private sector pay the bill. And if you really are an accountant you know thats the damned truth. And if you don't you're a fucking imposter with a big mouth.

Thu, 03/12/2015 - 22:22 | 5884005 cornfritter
cornfritter's picture

if this keeps up much longer they will be issued weapons to come mug us at the freeway underpasses... if they try to take my mad dog, or my iwatch, it's on!

Thu, 03/12/2015 - 22:30 | 5884026 disabledvet
disabledvet's picture

We still have Social Security...but yes private pensions are clearly at risk "in the Wall Street casino."

 

The term is called "moral hazard" and I recommend looking it up.

 

Yes this can and has blown up in the face of for example Detroit's pension fund.

 

Can it get as big as Michigan itself?  Absolutely.

 

For what purpose is there an "FDIC" I would like to know.

 

If Banks don't even need deposits anymore what exactly is being "insured" here?

 

The local crack pipe dealer?

 

If so this sounds like a poor use of Government monies and funds.

 

Do they have overdraft protection?

Thu, 03/12/2015 - 22:37 | 5884042 cornfritter
cornfritter's picture

it's nothing new - this happened with our 401s back around 1999-ish?  I kept calling Fidelity trying to move the "money" into a fund that wasn't being destroyed, and got the same response time and again "I'm sorry sir, that fund is closed"  Fish in a barrel, we was the fish - and it's gone... see ya!!  Unkle Sugar giveth, Unkle Sugar taketh away.

Fri, 03/13/2015 - 08:56 | 5884721 sessinpo
sessinpo's picture

I find Accounting101 to be just a troll. He generally has nothing to contribute and just attacks other posters. Do you best to ignore him.

Thu, 03/12/2015 - 23:48 | 5884176 squid
squid's picture

" Instead of advocating for everyone to have the benefit of a secure retirement, you get a hard on as these fellow middle class Americans have their assets stolen. Loser."

 

Ok, I advocate for that. Cool. Everything fixed, perfect.

Now I advocate to save the wales, there. Done.

 

That wasn't so hard, was it?

 

"Their assets stolen?". They are assets they NEVER paid into, they are government workers that the politicians "promised" a pension that the tax payer would pay for. And the politicians lied....

 

I'M SHOCKED!!! Who would have guessed? A lying politician, wow.

 

Government workers will get screwed over just like everyone else, just as they should. The US government and ALL the state governments(and municipal) WILL default on pension obligations, if you can add you already know this. Just because you ignore a problem doesn't mean it goes away. It didn't go away and it WON'T go away. ALL pensioners will be defaulted on, it is a mathematical certainty.

 

Squid.

Fri, 03/13/2015 - 08:40 | 5884635 fiftybagger
fiftybagger's picture

Or more simply stated: “If something sounds too good to be true, it probably is”

And as to the criticism above, we in the precious metals community have been warning these "fellow middle class Americans" that their retirement is at risk for the last 20 plus years.  If they didn't listen, that's on them.

Silver For The People

Fri, 03/13/2015 - 02:15 | 5884320 Beltain
Beltain's picture

So are you saying the private sector has something to be envious of in the public sector pensions?

 

Here I thought the established meme was that the poor public sector leeches worked so hard and were under paid and all that rubbish.

 

Fri, 03/13/2015 - 02:51 | 5884335 Miffed Microbio...
Miffed Microbiologist's picture

In healthcare that was true about 15 years ago. I passed up a job offer at a unionized public university hospital that paid 10$ less an hour than private. Just a few years ago a collegue of mine retired there after 30 years and took her lump sum pension ( who in the private sector with a pension can get a lump sum pay out?) of 900k and moved to the Phillipines. Their salaries now are commensurate with the public sector however they now have extended the vesting time from five to ten years. Most people I know there are taking payouts such as this fearful there won't be any money in the future. This will accelerate the demise unless they have the sense to stop this. But , I'm in Cali so sense is in short supply.

Miffed

Fri, 03/13/2015 - 08:44 | 5884662 fiftybagger
fiftybagger's picture

"Instead of advocating for everyone to have the benefit of a secure retirement"

Okay Elizabeth Warren.  I can advocate for everyone to have 3 Rolls Royces and a country estate, but that doesn't mean it's possible.  Stupid communist.

Fri, 03/13/2015 - 10:42 | 5885096 corbinhopkins
corbinhopkins's picture

Oh you mean the money that they steal from the productive members of society? They are leeches that add no value to the economic system. If they had any talent or drive they would be in the private sector earning an honest fucking living. But it is all to easy to use their collective voting power and public unions to vote themselves generous compensation and retirement packages while the rest of us foot the bill. Oh those bastards are going to be in for a rude awakening, and I for one will be gleefully watching with my beer and bag of popcorn when those cocksuckers get the shaft. 

Thu, 03/12/2015 - 22:23 | 5884007 cobra1650
cobra1650's picture

No, these are corporate private pensions.

State and local gov bankruptcies have to occur to start affecting the bolshevik sweetheart deals 

Thu, 03/12/2015 - 22:39 | 5884047 disabledvet
disabledvet's picture

No money is still no money.

 

If the US economy suddenly starts resorting to barter as its means of exchange this will have DEVESTATING consequences for the US financial system.

 

So far no "system reset."

 

Plenty o "statistical error" tho.

 

Maybe instead of declaring "majeure" the BATS could declare "majong" the next time their machines start losing instead of winning.

 

I hear the odds of winning that one are well nigh impossible.

 

There was a computer wiz in Vegas who worked for the Nevada Gaming Authority one time tho....

Thu, 03/12/2015 - 21:44 | 5883886 Sanity Bear
Sanity Bear's picture

I don't think the author quite understands the PBGC but it is not and never has been a guarantor for pensions, more like an arbitrator/executor for when TSHTF.

Thu, 03/12/2015 - 21:44 | 5883887 Oswald did it
Oswald did it's picture

We can't pay some folks

Thu, 03/12/2015 - 21:57 | 5883894 Philo Beddoe
Philo Beddoe's picture

Worse still, of the 51% who will have their benefits cut, 54% will see cuts of 10% or more…

Son, today is where Daddy teaches you the meaning of the word optimistic.  Ignore what they told you in school before I yanked you outtah there...none of that glass is half full bullshit...or looking on the bright side bullshit. Optimism is generally a term/manner to bullshit your way around a contrary and much more likely outcome. 

Now go outside and play and tell your mommy to come in here with her nurse outfit. 

Thu, 03/12/2015 - 21:56 | 5883906 ThroxxOfVron
ThroxxOfVron's picture

"I don't think the author quite understands the PBGC but it is not and never has been a guarantor for pensions, more like an arbitrator/executor for when TSHTF. "

Maybe it's something about the name Pension Benefit GUARANTEE Corporation that makes people think that, you know, the Government run Corporation might be designed to GUARANTEE Pension Benefits.

I know.  Federal Reserve ain't Federal.  Affordable Care Act ain't about affordability but cost shifting and taxation...  I get it.

None the less.

The Employers are being allowed to pay dividends and do buy-backs but are being allowed to underfund these benefits aggreements. Tax money is being wasted on sports stadiums and foreign adventures while municipalities and states go broke..

But, the full faith and credit thing is still good as gol... er...  I mean...  Guarantee does not imply guarantee...

Well, why don't you just play it safe: buy Treasury Bonds!

Thu, 03/12/2015 - 22:10 | 5883960 Sanity Bear
Sanity Bear's picture

Everyone here should know better than to take anything named by the government at face value - more so today than ever. Have an "Affordable" "Care" Act.

Thu, 03/12/2015 - 22:17 | 5883984 usednabused
usednabused's picture

Or a clean air act, or clean water act, or the SBA being about helping small businesses. Gov't speak is doublespeak. You have to be a fucking liar to even understand it.

Thu, 03/12/2015 - 21:55 | 5883918 HonkyShogun
HonkyShogun's picture

MyRA.com, slavez.

Thu, 03/12/2015 - 21:57 | 5883924 cynicalskeptic
cynicalskeptic's picture

Good News!  The Soylent Corporation has agreed to help deal with this problem.  It will be opening 'Retiree Assistance Centers' for anyone whose pension is underfunded or worthless.

Retirees will receive assistance in a setting custom tailored to their preferences and guaranteed that the remainder of their life will be spent in comfort and dignity (albeit with a vastly shortened timeframe).  They can also take solace in the knowledge that they will also be helping those remaining in the workforce by reducing the costs of their sustenance.

 

 

Thu, 03/12/2015 - 23:05 | 5884112 cornfritter
cornfritter's picture

sh*t, more used pantsuits :-(

Thu, 03/12/2015 - 21:58 | 5883928 mayhem_korner
mayhem_korner's picture

 

 

Nothing a couple of $1 trillion platinum coins or some Zimbabwean brontosaurus bills can't fix. 

Thu, 03/12/2015 - 23:57 | 5884187 Equality 7-25-1
Equality 7-25-1's picture

Oblamo's owners want us out of here. We are going all the way.

Thu, 03/12/2015 - 21:58 | 5883930 MedicalQuack
MedicalQuack's picture

What did Quant Cathy O'Neill say (who used to work for DE Shaw and did Summer's models years ago)?  Hedge funds are there to skim off retirement fund, period.  You do get some extras in there when she is asked about how it was working for Larry Summers:)  She asked her co-workers at the time if they thought about the people attached to the fund, aka known as "dumb investors" as most are not actively involved in their retirement accounts, they didn't care.  Their brains are their tools she said and they do it because they can.  Good stuff..

View video #2 from PBS a couple years ago and Video #1 is the Retirement game, from PBS...a double feature but both very well done.  

http://ducknetweb.blogspot.com/2013/04/the-retirement-game-401k-complexi...

 

Thu, 03/12/2015 - 22:56 | 5884092 disabledvet
disabledvet's picture

Lehman still failed so apparently there was a "statistical error."

Now these so mathmeticians are dealing with actual numbers...and right now a lot of those numbers are adding up to ZERO.

"Failure to lend is failure to recover."

The law says do not lend?

Really?

This would appear to be making a claim on return itself in effect declaring not just profits but economic growth itself "illegal."

This strikes me as a rather stringent "code."

There is no shortage of liquidity and indeed the dollar is soaring.

Some of these legal types seem wired a little tight. "Counting pennies when trillions are on the line."

Maybe bankruptcy is the way forward...

Thu, 03/12/2015 - 22:02 | 5883940 jamochavez
jamochavez's picture

I say fuck it--ramble on- I am tired of attempting to make sense of this contrived carnival--just do the opposite of what logic would tell you and you will fit right in with the clowns in this circus

Thu, 03/12/2015 - 22:17 | 5883987 Philo Beddoe
Philo Beddoe's picture

If you ever want to teach at my home school let me know. 

Just do the opposite of what logic would tell you and you will fit right in with the clowns in this circus. 

I might just translate that into latin and make that a logo for my homeschool. 

Thu, 03/12/2015 - 22:22 | 5884004 jamochavez
jamochavez's picture

I know what it is in pig latin--F ME--  if you translate it into latin let me know--may make up some t-shirts or an app and pitch it as the next best thing

Thu, 03/12/2015 - 22:31 | 5884027 Philo Beddoe
Philo Beddoe's picture

Nam qua ratione facere oppositum Dicerem hoc et pagani in circo fit rectum.

Fuck me it is! Pretty fucking small logo. Maybe I can wrap the text around a middle finger facing inwards. 

Thu, 03/12/2015 - 22:55 | 5884088 jamochavez
jamochavez's picture

Super bueno. That's Spanglish central banker for everything is awesome.

Thu, 03/12/2015 - 22:05 | 5883944 mayhem_korner
mayhem_korner's picture

 

 

Gotta give the headline-writer Tyler a gold star on this one.  It's chock full of so many things gone wrong. Like one of those can you find these hidden objects pages in the Highlights mag at the dentist.

Back to my scotch...

Thu, 03/12/2015 - 22:06 | 5883949 Duc888
Duc888's picture

 

 

Note to werker bees:  Werk 'till you drop bitches.  Keep voting and keep paying taxes too.

 

Fri, 03/13/2015 - 05:49 | 5884421 Arnold
Arnold's picture

Your estate will ensure your continuing support  beyond  your final days.

Fri, 03/13/2015 - 08:23 | 5884609 TalkToLind
TalkToLind's picture

And watch TEEVEE.

Thu, 03/12/2015 - 22:07 | 5883953 Hohum
Hohum's picture

If we just keep increasing debt some more (60T by end of 2015?):

http://research.stlouisfed.org/fred2/series/TCMDO

Thu, 03/12/2015 - 22:14 | 5883979 cobra1650
cobra1650's picture

GIANT sucking sound from the 1 Million plus uneducated FIREMEN that will make $100K + a year.

This is the largest, highest paid/compensated GROUP in the entire country.

Thu, 03/12/2015 - 22:21 | 5883997 nmewn
nmewn's picture

But but but...Accounting101 says they buy stuff with the money, ya know, the money thingy they created with the publics debt that never gets paid off.

So its all good! 

Right? ;-)

Thu, 03/12/2015 - 22:24 | 5884011 usednabused
usednabused's picture

Possibly overpaid, but highest? What about CEO compensation and retirements or golden parachutes? Long time back I remember Lee Raymond getting 400 million for getting canned as the CEO of home depot? Lets see, just one fucking asshole is equivalent to how many firefighters? 4,000 I come up with. How many CEO's are compensated how much again? And how many times did they stick their fucking necks out for anyone?

Thu, 03/12/2015 - 22:28 | 5884023 cobra1650
cobra1650's picture

but there are over 1 million firemen

Thu, 03/12/2015 - 23:47 | 5884173 usednabused
usednabused's picture

And how many CEO's? If there are 2500 thats a wash with the firefighters, and Im pretty sure theres a few more than that

Thu, 03/12/2015 - 22:36 | 5884041 Creepy A. Cracker
Creepy A. Cracker's picture

Delaware: ALL volunteer firefighters.  Delaware got at least one thing right...

Thu, 03/12/2015 - 23:01 | 5884101 directaction
directaction's picture

Silly. Maybe in rural Deleware they're unpaid, but in the larger towns and in Wilmington they earn planty of money. 

Thu, 03/12/2015 - 22:41 | 5884052 Philo Beddoe
Philo Beddoe's picture

In college I was a volunteer FF. No pay. Lots of pussy with my fabricated tales of heroics. 

Geez, you are just like that guy in Backdraft. Yes, I am honey. Now let me put out that fire with my hose. 

Thu, 03/12/2015 - 22:26 | 5884018 cobra1650
cobra1650's picture

Such a high barrier to entry for firemen.....walk, chew gum, prepare large meals, complete high school

Thu, 03/12/2015 - 22:38 | 5884043 Creepy A. Cracker
Creepy A. Cracker's picture

Do they still have to pass the slide-down-the-pole test?

Thu, 03/12/2015 - 22:38 | 5884044 Creepy A. Cracker
Creepy A. Cracker's picture

.

Thu, 03/12/2015 - 22:28 | 5884024 Rikky
Rikky's picture

as an earlier poster so eloquently (and repeatedly) said, the US government will just print and take on more debt to fund these.  after all when you own the currency you can do whatever the heck you please and damn everyone else.

Thu, 03/12/2015 - 22:34 | 5884033 directaction
directaction's picture

The fire fighters and cops in my beaten down city earn around $73,876,987,272,419 and fiddy cent every year plus benefits.

I can't imgine what they'll do when they retire and find out their pensions aren't so good.  

Thu, 03/12/2015 - 23:09 | 5884116 Hulk
Hulk's picture

Plus one for making fiddy cent singular !!!

Thu, 03/12/2015 - 22:41 | 5884053 Spectre
Spectre's picture

This is Bullshit, The PBGC is and always has been functionally insolvent.  Notta - nothing. Broke

Thu, 03/12/2015 - 22:42 | 5884058 cobra1650
cobra1650's picture

In fairness they do very important essential work but they are drastically over paid when compared to other professions.

The big overpaid part is $100K per year pension that starts around age 55....and the HEALTH CARE PACKAGE. 

Thu, 03/12/2015 - 23:51 | 5884182 usednabused
usednabused's picture

I know a few retired federal workers. They get more than that from their pensions. Look Im not a fireman, and its a good thing because yoiu obviously have a real hard-on for them. I hope you're in good enough shape to be able to use it when you catch one. lol

Thu, 03/12/2015 - 22:50 | 5884082 yellowsub
yellowsub's picture

That would mean Florida's real estate gonna tumble even more.

Thu, 03/12/2015 - 23:37 | 5884158 TeethVillage88s
TeethVillage88s's picture

TALK about a conspiracy:

- Corporations sack employees and reduce Pension Requirements
- Mergers and Acquisitions reduce Liability

- Republicans debate whether to halt benefits for illegals...
- GOP leaders say now is the wrong time to fight...
- More than half of young adults in Los Angeles don't speak English at home...

Talk about bombing your Middle Class, what could be more Aggressive?? Layoff the young and shut out Pensions. The American Way.

Thu, 03/12/2015 - 23:40 | 5884166 Niall Of The Ni...
Niall Of The Nine Hostages's picture

Of course, if you really thought the gubmint would guarantee anything but the pharaonic lifestyles of the banksters, you deserve to spend your golden years lugging what remains of your worldly goods in a cart.

Thu, 03/12/2015 - 23:51 | 5884183 squid
squid's picture

If you would have asked Thomas Jeffereson if the Fed Gov should take care of the peoples' pensions, he would have choked on his coffee and said, "Lord No!!! Congress will steal it!".

 

Yup, QED.

 

Squid

 

Fri, 03/13/2015 - 01:24 | 5884266 Totentänzerlied
Totentänzerlied's picture

Someone show me where in these documents it says "retirement - at or below age 65 - is a human right"?

http://www.un.org/en/documents/udhr/

http://avalon.law.yale.edu/18th_century/rightsof.asp

http://www.archives.gov/exhibits/charters/constitution_transcript.html

Nofuckingwhere. Be greedy and envious -> believe patently ridiculous lies or so-called promises of free shit -> get used like a truckstop toilet. Repeat.

Fri, 03/13/2015 - 01:46 | 5884284 PoliticalRefuge...
PoliticalRefugeefromCalif.'s picture

So what's the problem?- just let individual States print money...

Fri, 03/13/2015 - 01:58 | 5884301 Keyboard Kommando
Keyboard Kommando's picture

I went to get a replacement SSN card, the Affirmative Action hire was sitting there reading a book. I went up to her and asked where I get a number, and she looked at me like I tried to rape her. Not to mention when I came thru customs, I had 2 gold coins stolen by Affirmative Action employees of the TSA. Basically, the worst government agencies are full of them. Look at how fucked up the VA, the Post Office and anywhere else they are crammed with AA are. It takes an act of Congress to get rid of the worthless parasites. Basically, Affirmative Action hires are government welfare jobs are nothing but welfare Fed jobs for unqualified, lazy Negroes who couldn't get a job anywhere else. All courtesy of taxpayers! If

Fri, 03/13/2015 - 02:06 | 5884304 Solio
Solio's picture

http://www.zerohedge.com/news/2015-03-12/tax-breaks-oligarchs-100-millio...

But, super low tax rates for oligarchs are certainly guaranteed!

We're livin' the dream!

 

Fri, 03/13/2015 - 04:55 | 5884394 Youri Carma
Youri Carma's picture

The only thing they can guarantee is shit.

Fri, 03/13/2015 - 06:34 | 5884450 f16hoser
f16hoser's picture

In other news; Congress Pensions, which make up the other 49% of government pensions will be guaranteed to 100%!

Fri, 03/13/2015 - 08:27 | 5884613 fiftybagger
Fri, 03/13/2015 - 08:45 | 5884666 madcows
madcows's picture

how about my bank account?  Can they guarantee that when it collapses that i'll get my money back?  How much money does the FDIC have?  Hmm...

I think it's all cluster fucked.  Stocks, bonds, commodities, and cash.  I'm hedging by keeping about a third in stocks, bonds and cash holdings.

Fuck you FED/.Gov.  You fucking fiduciary terrorists.

Fri, 03/13/2015 - 10:34 | 5885052 Jameson18
Jameson18's picture

Heres is all you need to now about the FDIC. ZH 2013

US Deposits In Perspective: $25 Billion In Insurance, $9,283 Billion In Deposits; $297,514 Billion In Derivatives
Fri, 03/13/2015 - 09:14 | 5884774 ArmyofOne
ArmyofOne's picture

That's right folks avocate the abloshiment of SS, public, and private pensions and force everyone into the Wall St. ponzi scheme.  The problemed of a reliable and secure retirement is solved. 

Fri, 03/13/2015 - 09:24 | 5884803 BouncingCat
BouncingCat's picture

Instead of across the board pension cuts, first the grossly overpaid and double-dippers need to get hit first (it's only "fair", right?).  Say that , before any pension below $50,000/yr gets cut, all pensions over $50,000/yr get cut to $50,000/yr.  Double-dippers get hit hardest.

The concept of a pension should be limited in value and scheduled to start at 65.  If you want more in retirement, you should save your own money.

Fri, 03/13/2015 - 09:55 | 5884907 roadhazard
roadhazard's picture

I remember back in the 80's and 90's Big Biz sluffing off there pension plans to the Gov. Guaranty Corporation so that Big Biz could increase their bottom line and keep shareholders in the green. Then came NAFTA and dropping employee wages & benefits. I wondered what they would do when they had slashed everything. Little did I know that free money to buy back stock was next.

Fri, 03/13/2015 - 10:33 | 5885044 mastersnark
mastersnark's picture

No worries, store-brand cat food is still cheap. 

Fri, 03/13/2015 - 11:46 | 5885296 DonGenaro
DonGenaro's picture

GOOD.
ALL of these FN parasites should homeless:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oTykohWAPRg

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