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ECB Prepares For Grexit, Anticipates 95% Loss On Greek Debt

Tyler Durden's picture




 

Dear Greek readers: the writing is now on the wall, and it is in very clear 48-point, double bold, and underlined font: when the ECB "leaks" that it is modelling a Grexit, something Draghi lied about over and over in 2012 and directly in our face too, take it seriously, because it is time to start planning about what happens on "the day after." And incidentally to all those curious what the fair value of peripheral European bonds is excluding ECB backstops, the ECB has a handy back of the envelope calculation: a 95% loss.

Which also is the punchline, because while the ECB is making it very clear what happens next in the case of a "Graccident", it has yet to provide an explanation how it will resolve the billions of Greek debt held on its own balance sheet which are about to be "marked-to-default"...

... and on which it is prohibited from suffering a loss, or else Draghi will have to fabricate even more on the run rules about how the ECB balance sheet is loss-proof... expect in this case, or that, or the other.

From Manager Magazin, google-translated:

The European Central Bank (ECB) is preparing for a possible Greek exit from the euro zone. In internal model calculations, the central bank has already calculated the consequences of different scenarios on the prices of Greek government bonds.

 

Fernando González Miranda, head of risk analysis of the ECB, assumed for his model calculations three different developments of the Greek crisis, the magazine reports. These variants have also been presented to our colleagues from the Bundesbank few days ago.

 

Under this method, the value of Greek government debt - currently around € 320 billion - in the event of a sudden, "accident-like" Farewell to the Greeks from the Euro-zone ("Graccident") shrink to around 5 percent of the principal amount. If it were the Greek Government, however, to complete the withdrawal on the basis of ordered negotiations ("Grexit"), the ECB expects a residual value of government bonds by nearly 14 percent. And should it even create the country to negotiate a recent haircut, without having to give up the single currency, the government securities could keep at least a quarter of its original value.

 

A central bankers feared compared with manager magazin especially the "Graccident". The risk is high that the Greek government members "lose track and suddenly unable to settle their bills." In such a case, the rating agencies Greece would classify as necessarily insolvent, with the result that the central bank should have stopped emergency loans.

Or summarized :

Take this opportunity to reread the Goldman piece on whether Greece "can just print Drachmas" because it is about to be revised by the author.

 

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Wed, 03/18/2015 - 09:58 | 5901792 Haus-Targaryen
Haus-Targaryen's picture

Good.  Although if the Greeks actually leave I'll be surprised.

Wed, 03/18/2015 - 10:01 | 5901803 Carpenter1
Carpenter1's picture

Grexit + Rate hikes= No risk here

Wed, 03/18/2015 - 10:08 | 5901837 Stuck on Zero
Stuck on Zero's picture

It's a big myth that Greece needs to print its own currency.  That's an open invitation to counterfeit.  Greece doesn't need to do anything.  Greek countrymen will take up whatever currency is available and put it to use.  Computers can give exchange rates to the micro-cent instantly. 

Wed, 03/18/2015 - 10:17 | 5901876 BaBaBouy
BaBaBouy's picture

Vatzufakis Goinkonakis ???

Wed, 03/18/2015 - 11:16 | 5902129 Muessin
Muessin's picture

***BREAKING*** …meanwhile Frankfurt:

http://www.spiegel.de/video/blockupy-ezb-proteste-polizeirevier-angegrif...

Blockupy demonstration against opening of new ECB HQ got out of hand, a dozen of police officers injured, more than 300 protestors detained.

Wed, 03/18/2015 - 11:18 | 5902134 ParkAveFlasher
ParkAveFlasher's picture

I hope the new 50-drachma note will have a picture of a souvlaki on it, and will be redeemable in souvlaki.  That would be way cool.

Wed, 03/18/2015 - 11:31 | 5902191 walküre
walküre's picture

Greece just paid 588 million Euro in interest on an IMF loan two days ago.

http://www.theguardian.com/business/live/2015/mar/16/greece-imf-repaymen...

Where did Greece get the funds from? Was this a bailout payment from Germany?

Were all the negotiations these past few weeks just to rob Peter to pay Paul?

Follow the money, folks.

Wed, 03/18/2015 - 11:34 | 5902213 BigJim
BigJim's picture

If there is a Grexit, the Eurocrats will do their damndest to make sure the Greeks suffer big time; can't have th other PIIGS get any ideas, can we?

If Putin has any sense, he'll step in and do his best to make sure Greece dos better out of the EZ than in, to encourage the others to get out too.

Unravelling the Eurozone would be a major step in unravelling European 'solidarity' (ie, the Angloquislings ability to sanction Russia).

Wed, 03/18/2015 - 11:43 | 5902251 Haus-Targaryen
Haus-Targaryen's picture

"European Solidarity" is such a joke. 

Wed, 03/18/2015 - 11:48 | 5902277 Bunga Bunga
Bunga Bunga's picture

Nuland in Athens, talks to Tsipras.... Nato’s south-eastern flank would be immeasurably weakened at a time of mounting global security worries over Islamic fundamentalists in the Middle East.

Grexit - no way.

http://www.theguardian.com/world/2015/mar/17/deadlock-over-greek-debt-cr...

Wed, 03/18/2015 - 11:57 | 5902297 Manthong
Wed, 03/18/2015 - 12:06 | 5902335 walküre
walküre's picture

Europe is Endless

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gDKiPtBbBQY

The song that never seems to end... sound familiar?

Kraftwerk was genius. Well ahead of their time.

Wed, 03/18/2015 - 12:22 | 5902419 winchester
winchester's picture

and you all still think this grexit will happen...?

mouhahahahahahaha....hmm hmm

 

hope are the weaks's cancer.

 

period.

 

Wed, 03/18/2015 - 14:32 | 5903033 Newsboy
Newsboy's picture

Stressing contingency plans for Grexit openly  +  When it gets serious, you have to lie  =  No Grexit

Right?

Wed, 03/18/2015 - 15:12 | 5903228 winchester
winchester's picture

way more simple, if  A exit euro zone, then B, then C then D then..... then what remain ?.... when you have a front line to defend at all cost  ....

war posture....

 

euro currencies is a tool to enslave the populations of europe and take control over politics.

 

as simple as that, if you flee from the tool, it is considered as a riot, a rebellion, a revolution, they will never ever let it happen, a WW3 will happen before europ explode.

Wed, 03/18/2015 - 12:09 | 5902347 Richard Chesler
Richard Chesler's picture

Look, you stupid bastards, you've got no arms left!

Wed, 03/18/2015 - 16:26 | 5903585 SDShack
SDShack's picture

The only solidarity in the EU is Banker Solidarity.

Wed, 03/18/2015 - 11:31 | 5902193 Muessin
Muessin's picture

*** violence in the streets, attacks on police station and barricades, cars burning…

http://www.spiegel.de/video/video-blockupy-protest-in-frankfurt-eskalati...

Wed, 03/18/2015 - 13:22 | 5902666 Bunga Bunga
Bunga Bunga's picture

Calm down, Draghi got some party.

Wed, 03/18/2015 - 14:26 | 5902991 Simple J. Malarky
Simple J. Malarky's picture

Gonococcus?

Wed, 03/18/2015 - 10:18 | 5901878 The Black Bishop
The Black Bishop's picture

I've started wondering if the Greeks are trying to mess so much with the Germans that they are thrown out instead of voluntarily leaving. Who knows what clauses are in the Euro cooperation agreement?

 

For the Greeks themselves I really hope they leave the Euro.

Wed, 03/18/2015 - 10:40 | 5901976 bwh1214
bwh1214's picture

Great overview of the mess we're in, and how we got here. Starts slow but a great read:
http://debtcrash.report/entry/history-and-introduction

Wed, 03/18/2015 - 11:31 | 5902197 BigJim
BigJim's picture

Did you pen it, by any chance? You certainly push it enough.

Wed, 03/18/2015 - 10:52 | 5902018 Temporalist
Temporalist's picture

The Real REAL problem is that the Greeks don't trust the Greeks to pay the Greeks what the Greeks owe the Greeks (whether in salary, pension, debt, taxes or graft) so why would anyone else trust the Greeks to pay them back when they can't trust themselves?

Wed, 03/18/2015 - 10:57 | 5902049 new game
new game's picture

when trust and faith is gone expect some blood. calling russia? help, our country is broke, we need some loans to restore order. we can pledge some gas and oil reserves off the coast. also we have some beautiful islands to enjoy!

Wed, 03/18/2015 - 12:55 | 5902565 eurogold
eurogold's picture

.........To put a russian naval base on !

Wed, 03/18/2015 - 11:37 | 5902221 angel_of_joy
angel_of_joy's picture

The title is wrong ! That 95% loss on Greek debt is in fact a 5% profit, if it materializes...

Wed, 03/18/2015 - 11:09 | 5902096 luckylongshot
luckylongshot's picture

It seems noone wants to be the one responsible for detroying the Euro. Yes the Greeks seem to be asking to be thrown out but it could also be argued that Germany wants to see the Euro collapse and taking a hard line with Greece is how they do this without being held responsible. Watch what follows the Grexit...the Italexit, Spexit, Irexit, Portuexit and Frexit are on the way.

Wed, 03/18/2015 - 12:58 | 5902570 eurogold
eurogold's picture

I really hate being put in a position to defend the Germans but lets just consider this:

Who of the other EU pussies ever defended EU policy, yes EU policy not german policy?????

Wed, 03/18/2015 - 16:15 | 5903523 elvy
elvy's picture

But Germany's ultra-high trade surplus also ignores EU policy. As did Germany's budgets throughout the 90s, courtesy of reuinification and the need to prop up an ailing economy which somehow this reminds me of the current situation.

Can't have it both ways.

Wed, 03/18/2015 - 10:47 | 5902011 tarabel
tarabel's picture

 

 

Yes, so far as it goes, but first they will have to earn some of that fx in order to use it to pay their bureaucrats with.

Paying bureaucrats is job 1 for every government.

Wed, 03/18/2015 - 11:39 | 5902230 angel_of_joy
angel_of_joy's picture

They'll pay everybody in their own new currency. No need for foreign currency. That's the whole point...

Wed, 03/18/2015 - 12:27 | 5902439 winchester
winchester's picture

totally agree,  if they think they gonna be better shape with a 0.00001 ratio currencie, they must prior anything contact H.P or epson to get serious stock of ink because  printers gonna heat like fuck.

compared, fed will be a joke.

 

Wed, 03/18/2015 - 16:42 | 5903672 123dobryden
123dobryden's picture

euro will stay the same in Greece it is in Montenegro

Wed, 03/18/2015 - 19:16 | 5904173 unicorn
unicorn's picture

"Paying bureaucrats is job 1 for every government."

paying bureaucrats is paying corporations is paying nwo

>>> http://corporateeurope.org/revolvingdoorwatch

Wed, 03/18/2015 - 11:29 | 5902188 ATM
ATM's picture

Greek countrymen wil take up whatever currency that is available? That means they need to acquire this currency, but with what exactly? The banks will be shuttered and capital controls slapped on them. The countrymen will be stuck andforced to pay up leving hem pennyless or in this case Euroless.

If they do move to their own currency they will at least be abelt buy all those wonderful Greek manufactured goods, olives, fish and lemons.

Wed, 03/18/2015 - 13:16 | 5902649 orez65
orez65's picture

"... will take up whatever currency that is available?"

Whatever Euros they have in their banks they better withdraw.

The ones that don't have Euros or any other savings would have to barter.

Tourism, shipping and whatever they can export would bring in whatever currency: Yuan, Dollars, Rubles ...

But the point is that they are BROKE!

It is not a currency issue!

Wed, 03/18/2015 - 11:42 | 5902248 redd_green
redd_green's picture

Counterfeit? DUUUUUDE just WHAT do  you think the Euro and he US Dollar and the Yuan are?

Wed, 03/18/2015 - 13:05 | 5902596 orez65
orez65's picture

"It's a big myth that Greece Needs to print it's own currency"

Why would anyone down vote that post?

Are you so brainwashed that you can't accept that a Goverment monopoly of money is not necessary?

It is, actually, harmful.

Just look at the financial Frankestein that the Federal Reserve has created!!

Wed, 03/18/2015 - 10:08 | 5901840 Greenskeeper_Carl
Greenskeeper_Carl's picture

Bend over, European taxpayers. Prepare to raped yet again as you bail out all your big banks who gorged on Greek debt.

Wed, 03/18/2015 - 10:10 | 5901845 NoDebt
NoDebt's picture

It's only 300 billion, Carl.  It's not the end of the world.  ;)

Wed, 03/18/2015 - 10:14 | 5901862 Dr. Richard Head
Dr. Richard Head's picture

Nigel Farage summarizes this pretty well in under 3 minutes - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=f8jawbGHHw4&feature=youtu.be

Wed, 03/18/2015 - 10:17 | 5901873 Temporalist
Temporalist's picture

And don't forget this classic:

A Few Words On Europe's Financial Woes

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=E_R6hSNUZJ8

Wed, 03/18/2015 - 10:31 | 5901940 ersatz007
ersatz007's picture

+1000

this is like Abbott & Costello "Who's on First" meets Monty Python meets CNBC.... or something.  

Wed, 03/18/2015 - 10:46 | 5902009 Save_America1st
Save_America1st's picture

But of course it doesn't stop with Greece, right? 

 

They then have to deal with Italy, Spain, Portugal, etc. etc. etc. and not to forget the big Euro banks who are up to their tits in Trillions of derivative debt obligations that will all start to collapse like dominoes.

And don't think just because you live in America that you're safe from any fallout from this shit. 

Silver phyzz is on sale still, bitchez.  Trade in a big chunk of that worthless fiat and go get you some phyzz.

 

Wed, 03/18/2015 - 10:59 | 5902062 max2205
max2205's picture

All those Yankee bonds ticking in your money market funds will go poof!

Hard to believe when you only get 0.001%....right 

Wed, 03/18/2015 - 12:37 | 5902485 joak
joak's picture

According to Kotlikoff, the fiscal gap of the US is the worse in the world. This is what he said to the budget comittee of the Senate. http://www.cnsnews.com/sites/default/files/documents/PDF.Kotlikoff---Tes...

Wed, 03/18/2015 - 13:08 | 5902612 thamnosma
thamnosma's picture

I love the last shot of the clueless Eurocrats after Farage is done.

Wed, 03/18/2015 - 10:26 | 5901919 HardAssets
HardAssets's picture

Ya mean 'Germany' and the kraut banksters aren't the same thing ?

And if the bad bets of banksters aren't put on the backs if those who didn't take part in the deals, - it's not a bad thing?

Who woulda thunk it ?

Wed, 03/18/2015 - 10:09 | 5901843 boogerbently
boogerbently's picture

They've already paid them more than they're owed.

Grexit is 100% SAVINGS on future losses.

Wed, 03/18/2015 - 10:15 | 5901864 astoriajoe
astoriajoe's picture

I wonder if Mr. Johl is modeling for this.

Wed, 03/18/2015 - 10:48 | 5902015 zorba THE GREEK
zorba THE GREEK's picture

Even if it would cost 30 billion E to keep Greece in the Euro for

another year or two, that's over a 90% savings for the ECB as

they will have to bail out the banks if Greece exits, are they (ECB)

really going to let that happen because of some Greek name-calling?

The derivitives in the EU banking system very likely make the Grexit

scenario much much worse.

Wed, 03/18/2015 - 11:21 | 5902150 LawsofPhysics
LawsofPhysics's picture

Please, all derivatives will be "forgiven".  easy peasy.

The bankers will always forgive their own debt, not yours.

Wed, 03/18/2015 - 16:36 | 5903644 SDShack
SDShack's picture

Exactly correct. derivatives, CDS, etc. don't mean shit because the Rule of Law don't mean shit to bankers and politicians who are nothing but sociopaths. First to go was Mark to Market, in favor of Mark to Fantasy. Then TARP was a violation of the rule of law over and over. First in how it was passed. Second in how it was enforced. It was intended to recapitalize the banks, but instead it was used by the Fed to buy worthless bank assets. The S&L bailout of the 90's all over again, only this time the Fed is the "bad bank". Then TARP was fraudulently applied to bailout non-bank companies that were deemed TBTF (AIG). And lastly, the biggest vioation of the rule of law was the screwing of GM bondholders. So the die has been cast. the derivative and CDS black hole will NEVER materialize because the sociopaths will just change the law to benefit themselves at the expense of the sheeple. Same as it ever was. Revolution is the only way this will ever end, and that won't happen until the masses are literally starving in the streets.

Wed, 03/18/2015 - 11:59 | 5902307 Groundhog Day
Groundhog Day's picture

Blah, blah, blah...your just trying to entice everyone on ZH to short so they can get squeezed again... I ain't falling for it.  Thier is always a save at the 24th hour

Wed, 03/18/2015 - 10:02 | 5901810 NoDebt
NoDebt's picture

"Hey, guys, how's the default going?"

"Taking forever."

Could we drop-kick this bitch into the dumpster already?  I've waited since.... whatever year it was.  Now I find I just can't wait 2 more weeks to see some poo finally hit the fan.

Wed, 03/18/2015 - 10:05 | 5901821 McCormick No. 9
McCormick No. 9's picture

Like UFO disclosure, this has been going on so long everyone is just ho-hum about it. Whatevah.

Wed, 03/18/2015 - 11:07 | 5902093 disabledvet
disabledvet's picture

If you've been following the story though its been hell of a ride.

 

I understand what you're saying though.  If I'm an American who cares?

 

Certainly if you're a voter you don't.

 

Indeed you have been rewarded by annihilating the entirety of of it..."just to show in fact you do care."

 

And where is Goldman Sachs you ask?

Wed, 03/18/2015 - 10:56 | 5902039 Winston Churchill
Winston Churchill's picture

Amazing how long the creditors take to send in the bailiffs to take walking posession of

your physical assets, then bam, or at once.l

Wed, 03/18/2015 - 11:06 | 5902085 maskone909
maskone909's picture

Yup. And if u havent prepared for a greek exit yet, well, its a lil late. Gold- its amazing how well you will sleep at night. Its the ultimate sleeng pill

Wed, 03/18/2015 - 10:04 | 5901818 semperfi
semperfi's picture

yep - I will only beleive it after it has happened - until then its business as usual

Wed, 03/18/2015 - 10:09 | 5901842 Sisyphus
Sisyphus's picture

So, will a Grexit result in Merkel receiving a creampie, or will it be a money shot?

Wed, 03/18/2015 - 10:29 | 5901931 quasimodo
quasimodo's picture

I think the logical reply to your query is would me want to see either one involving Bundeskanzerlin Merkel?

 

Wed, 03/18/2015 - 10:58 | 5902054 Thirst Mutilator
Thirst Mutilator's picture

@Sisyphus

 

Miffed Micro's hubby will not have a clue what you're talking about ~ lol

Wed, 03/18/2015 - 10:35 | 5901959 skistroni
skistroni's picture

Someone should tell Varoufakis that he should be careful with showing single fingers to Germany. German porn producers would laugh and show him their large collection of popular (in Germany) anal fisting scenes. "Zis iz how ve do it here, ser"

Wed, 03/18/2015 - 11:10 | 5902104 Kirk2NCC1701
Kirk2NCC1701's picture

She'll get a Pearl Necklace. From somebody.

Wed, 03/18/2015 - 10:09 | 5901844 rubiconsolutions
rubiconsolutions's picture

If all central bank issued money is based on the creation of debt then what's the big deal?

Wed, 03/18/2015 - 10:52 | 5902017 Youri Carma
Youri Carma's picture

Would suprise me too because I don't know if Draghi also calculated in NATO's potential weakening southern flank if the Greeks are driven into Russian's camp not to mention the blowing up of the 3.4 to 4 trillion derivatives book which we aren't told about.

Wed, 03/18/2015 - 12:16 | 5902378 Dewey Cheatum Howe
Dewey Cheatum Howe's picture

There is always the possibility of the Vicki Nuland fuck the EU option making the US looking like bumbling destablizing idiots so NATO can slide on in to stabilize the place, including hand placing their own political meat puppets into an interm government keeping the extend and pretend shitshow going. If Putin is stupid enough to step in directly should that happen they will just try to stick the bill for Greek debt on Russia afterwards. Syriza has to drop out of NATO asap if Brussels tries to play that card or else they are fucked by their own alliances.

Only the Greeks can save themselves at this point but that doesn't happen until they can honestly admit to themselves they have a free shit problem.

Wed, 03/18/2015 - 13:01 | 5902583 edotabin
edotabin's picture

Missiles! Someone has to deploy missiles and go on "nuclear alert!"

Man, I hate laughing at my own stuff but I find missile porn hilarious !

Wed, 03/18/2015 - 11:37 | 5902223 doctor10
doctor10's picture

Iceland has a pretty good blueprint in a drawer somewhere for how to get things done.

Wed, 03/18/2015 - 12:19 | 5902405 Dewey Cheatum Howe
Dewey Cheatum Howe's picture

Iceland is also only a tiny Island and not systematically important to the Euro or Eurozone. The amount of time and energy to occupy that place for the ROI on said occupation is not worth it financially. That is why they were allowed to leave. It is always harder to conquer Islands outright, just look at Britain.

Wed, 03/18/2015 - 12:13 | 5902374 yrad
yrad's picture

Shit, I just bought 2k in Euro for my trip to Greece is 29 days. Forsight is 20/20. Does this mean I need to convert to Drachma's????

Cue my own *deer in the headlights*

Wed, 03/18/2015 - 12:43 | 5902513 Condition 1SQ
Condition 1SQ's picture

It's looking grim for the Greeks either way.  Stay, and they'll be forced to better balance their budget (auesterity) by the EU.  Leave, and they'll be forced to better balance their budget (austerity) by the market.  You're not going to have people inexplicably falling over themselves to accumulate Greek debt like they do US debt.

Wed, 03/18/2015 - 09:59 | 5901798 JustObserving
JustObserving's picture
Anticipates 95% Loss On Greek Debt

So how many European banks will suddenly fail? What about options losees?  They can be much larger than the principal amount.

Wed, 03/18/2015 - 10:02 | 5901806 Haus-Targaryen
Haus-Targaryen's picture

Absolutely.  The "domino" bankruptcies are teh REAL story, and not the 320 billion going away overnight.  

 

Wed, 03/18/2015 - 10:03 | 5901814 Philo Beddoe
Philo Beddoe's picture

Bok bok bok bok bok. 

Maybe? 

Wed, 03/18/2015 - 10:06 | 5901828 semperfi
semperfi's picture

none will fail - in fact their year end bonus checks will be bigger

Wed, 03/18/2015 - 10:08 | 5901836 Marcus Claudius
Marcus Claudius's picture

Who takes the loss? The banks, the taxpayers, or both?

Wed, 03/18/2015 - 11:02 | 5902072 Thirst Mutilator
Thirst Mutilator's picture

Everybody!

 

But I can't quantify that just yet because my paper napkin is too small & cannot, therefore, calculate the exponential coefficient of pricing the building of a DEATH STAR [in Drachmas].

Wed, 03/18/2015 - 11:02 | 5902074 Thirst Mutilator
Thirst Mutilator's picture

see that? It's such a complicated algo that it fucked up the ZH servers!

Wed, 03/18/2015 - 10:53 | 5902032 Scoobywan
Scoobywan's picture

Robust EU stress tests have confirmed over and again that EU Banks are in no danger and are completely capitalized...

 

/sarc off

Wed, 03/18/2015 - 10:00 | 5901799 One And Only
One And Only's picture

How does a money printer go about losing money?

Wed, 03/18/2015 - 11:26 | 5902176 813kml
813kml's picture

Slowly at first, then all at once.

Wed, 03/18/2015 - 10:02 | 5901809 ZeroPoint
ZeroPoint's picture

There will be blood.

Wed, 03/18/2015 - 10:07 | 5901834 semperfi
semperfi's picture

like more banksters falling out of windows ?

Wed, 03/18/2015 - 12:28 | 5902442 manolios
manolios's picture

This time I think they'll be more prone to nailgun accidents

Wed, 03/18/2015 - 10:02 | 5901811 leveler001
leveler001's picture

How does the ecb expect to get the 5%? I can't wait to see their contingency plans for when parts of Austria go belly up

Wed, 03/18/2015 - 10:04 | 5901816 NoDebt
NoDebt's picture

That's what I was wondering, too.  5%?  What is that?  Some kind of "we just can't say 0% because it would look bad" kind of number?  

Wed, 03/18/2015 - 10:11 | 5901850 BrosephStiglitz
BrosephStiglitz's picture

5% is likely to be the estimated market value of recovered assets (probably Greek "manure").

Wed, 03/18/2015 - 10:24 | 5901907 youngman
youngman's picture

EBay collectors will buy up the bonds for history..that is the 5% value..

Wed, 03/18/2015 - 10:46 | 5902006 Temporalist
Temporalist's picture

Yes like those enterprising geniuses that now sell Zimbabwe 100 Trillion notes for $5.

Wed, 03/18/2015 - 12:50 | 5902547 malek
malek's picture

More like $15 to $25 for uncirculated Zimbabwe 100 Trillion notes.

Wed, 03/18/2015 - 12:32 | 5902457 Sanity Bear
Sanity Bear's picture

you can't rehypothecate then lever up on a zero

Wed, 03/18/2015 - 10:04 | 5901817 Senduko
Senduko's picture

So are we talking a month a year? Friday? Don't get me wrong I love my share of doom,

but at least some sort of timeframe would be nice

Wed, 03/18/2015 - 10:06 | 5901829 Jethro
Jethro's picture

It's immenent----so within a couple of decades give or take a decade.

Wed, 03/18/2015 - 10:46 | 5902010 Temporalist
Temporalist's picture

Like Mr. Yellen says...patience.

Wed, 03/18/2015 - 10:42 | 5901986 eyesofpelosi
eyesofpelosi's picture

Fearporn has a life expectancy roughly the same as the twinkie...wait, the twinkie died, resurrected, then died again didn't it?

Wed, 03/18/2015 - 10:05 | 5901820 bania
bania's picture

They can start by taking Kramer off their 10G note.

Wed, 03/18/2015 - 10:07 | 5901832 NoDebt
NoDebt's picture

Booyah!  I'm 10 thousand Drachmas, bitch!

 

Wed, 03/18/2015 - 10:18 | 5901880 lakecity55
lakecity55's picture

Hot damn! I will be a Millionaire (in Drachmas).

Wed, 03/18/2015 - 10:45 | 5901998 Uchtdorf
Uchtdorf's picture

Krugman's mug on the New Drachma 1,000,000,000,000,000...

Wed, 03/18/2015 - 10:57 | 5902048 jerry_theking_lawler
jerry_theking_lawler's picture

Which will buy you a slightly used condom..???

Wed, 03/18/2015 - 10:10 | 5901826 Thirst Mutilator
Thirst Mutilator's picture

For the life of me I can't figure out why these billionaire oligarchs wouldn't be 'secretly' wanting a Grexit...

 

FFS, just think of how many islands could be bought with a [insert your favorite Rothschild Central bank confetti here] vs. a Greek drachma printing machine currency swap.

 

FFS2 ~ I mean, if I had billions of _ _ _ bux sitting there with nothing better to do, I'd jump at the chance. After all, My hooker & blow tab is already a fixed cost, & I can only waterski behind one yacht at a time.

Wed, 03/18/2015 - 13:34 | 5902689 layman_please
layman_please's picture

exactly. especially the greek oligarchs. just get your euros out of the bank (only a fool hasn't done that yet), wait a little and just go on a shopping spree after everybody else with fresh new drachmas has 10-20% of purchasing power left compared to the euro.

i suspect they will convert euros to drachmas at 1 to 1 ratio, that would explain the new 10 000 note.

of course assuming that euro itself is still worth the paper it's printed on after the grexit.

Wed, 03/18/2015 - 10:07 | 5901831 jarana
jarana's picture

Here we go !!!

Hold tightly onto your balls or your nipples.

We are going through little turbulences.

Everithing is OK.

Cheers.

 

Wed, 03/18/2015 - 11:00 | 5902066 Winston Churchill
Winston Churchill's picture

If you look to the left of the aircraft you will see 6 parachutes.Please wave to your crew.

This is a recording.

Wed, 03/18/2015 - 11:30 | 5902186 813kml
813kml's picture

Thank you for flying Malaysia Airlines.

Wed, 03/18/2015 - 10:10 | 5901847 taketheredpill
taketheredpill's picture

 

 

Well if Goldman says Greece can't go back to a New Drachma, then that's that.  Unless it isn't.

 

Time to go back and read old GS research on why Citibank will will not cut their dividend...time to buy Icelandic Banks...etc...

 

 

Wed, 03/18/2015 - 10:11 | 5901849 keremetski
keremetski's picture

My Fat Greek Divorce. In theaters, summer 2015.
Starring: Merkel, Vora-fuck-is, Vova Putin

Wed, 03/18/2015 - 10:13 | 5901860 Crtrvlt
Crtrvlt's picture

The Greeks have dealt with much worse.  It will suck, a lot, for a few years (as if the last 5 years haven't) but they will come out of it free of their wall street, central bank imposed debt shackles

Wed, 03/18/2015 - 10:13 | 5901861 Bahamas
Bahamas's picture

The new Greek currency: the Verufuckis

Wed, 03/18/2015 - 10:16 | 5901871 lakecity55
lakecity55's picture

The new Greek currency: The Ruble.

"Russian FM Lavrov today announced a bailout of Greece and exit from the Euro. Greece will be joining the EEU."
"The Greek PM said the Ruble would be used until a new currency is developed. Russia will get use of the old ZATO bases, since we obviously no longer wish to be a part of the Imperialist Warmongers in Brussels."

Wed, 03/18/2015 - 10:20 | 5901890 Jethro
Jethro's picture

And the savings account interest rates have a 15%+ ROI in Rubles?

Wed, 03/18/2015 - 10:16 | 5901870 A_latvian
A_latvian's picture

Give it up people.  The Soviet European Union will never "allow" a member state to exit.  Either everyone gets in line, or the whole monetary-union-sans-political-union experiment will fall apart.

Why wouldn't Zee Germans just buy up all the land in Greece?  Any hint of state sovereignty would then be gone, which has been the goal all along!

Wed, 03/18/2015 - 12:35 | 5902473 TIMBEEER
TIMBEEER's picture

Looks like Russia is now Soviet European Union's worst enemy. What better than to give your worst enemy a country called Greece, for free? Let's see how the Greeks destroy the next bailout program .. Good bye, Russia!

Wed, 03/18/2015 - 10:17 | 5901872 MSorciere
MSorciere's picture

The inevitable...

 

Like I've said before, Draghi has been foaming the runways and all these BS antics since are Kabuki Theatre.

 

The smart money is already out of Greece (transfer 2 for the past 3 years).

 

Deflation and devaluation would continue for Greece under the current euro regime. Yes,this will be an initial free fall and a sharp one, but it is going to happen now. At least they will no longer be slaves to the fascist Brussels technocrats.

 

There's been plenty of time to reposition derivatives and how the hell would we know what those positions are in that murky market anyway?

 

Drachma, here we come...

Wed, 03/18/2015 - 10:18 | 5901877 nakki
nakki's picture

Wait a minute I'm confused, I thought Greece was fixed and Europe was hunky dory. I thought that Greece was going to payoff all their debt with the newest of loans to payback the new loans that paid back the old loans.

Maybe with just a few more loans from Italy, Portugal and Spain, they can fix it all up.

Wed, 03/18/2015 - 10:20 | 5901889 SirBarksAlot
SirBarksAlot's picture

So, HB 37, relieving the US bankers of their derivative debt passed in January.  It has now been introduced in the Senate.

What will THAT morning after look like?

https://www.congress.gov/bill/114th-congress/senate-bill/576/related-bills

Wed, 03/18/2015 - 10:28 | 5901925 rwe2late
rwe2late's picture

 SirBarksAlot

 A Debt Jubilee bill for the banksters?

Wed, 03/18/2015 - 11:01 | 5902075 Imagery
Imagery's picture

I glanced thru HB 37 but did not find specific section / language that transfers derivatives from Banks onto US Taxpayer.  Can someone elaborate / point to it?

Wed, 03/18/2015 - 10:22 | 5901898 madcows
madcows's picture

Good.  The ECB, and other central banks, should take major hits for enabling (and profiting) governments to behave like fiduciary terrorists for countless decades.  FUCK YOU CENTRAL BANKS!  You're not innocent here!

Wed, 03/18/2015 - 10:23 | 5901901 Atomizer
Atomizer's picture

Ask to see what political hack signed the dotted line for the formation of earlier Greek debt. Follow the money. 

Wed, 03/18/2015 - 10:24 | 5901905 williambanzai7
williambanzai7's picture

Greece is Lehman and the ECB is AIG

Wed, 03/18/2015 - 10:32 | 5901906 Monetas
Monetas's picture

So .... a 95% FU haircut .... and they don't have to declare bankruptcy ? No one will notice after Bibi's election ?  BTFW congratulations Bibi !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Wed, 03/18/2015 - 10:24 | 5901913 TomGa
TomGa's picture

"...the repayment to watch is a 3.5 billion euro bond expiring in July [2015] which is held by the ECB. As part of a deal to avoid losses on its Greek debt holdings, the ECB swapped in March 2012 the Greek bonds it then held for new ones that were not part of the restructuring."

 

http://www.reuters.com/article/2015/02/12/markets-greece-cds-idUSL5N0VL2...

Wed, 03/18/2015 - 10:26 | 5901915 pashley1411
pashley1411's picture

Whatever.    The only thing for sure is that both the EU elites, and the Greek elites, will each in their own way seek to avoid responsibility and make a bucket of loot off their decisions.

Everything else is smoke, mirrors, and flashing lights.

Wed, 03/18/2015 - 10:27 | 5901923 Q-Q-Q
Q-Q-Q's picture

Everything is fixed......until it isn't. Time doesn't result in a solution when the problems are systemic. Greece is just one of the first few dominoes.

Wed, 03/18/2015 - 10:30 | 5901935 geno-econ
geno-econ's picture

Overnight  new Greek currency will be the Olive Pit with a conversion rate of 1 Greek pit to 1 Euro.  Pits must be grown over time, but Euros can be printed and therefore worthless as is a pit.

Wed, 03/18/2015 - 10:38 | 5901966 Atomizer
Atomizer's picture

Is it a green or black olive? Seeded or unseeded? Peeps have preferences in tastes. Do you like your martini shaken or stirred? Get the picture? 

Wed, 03/18/2015 - 10:30 | 5901938 Atomizer
Atomizer's picture

The news bulletins, Obama asks for war retribution on ISIS for political correct harm in Islamic expansion in United States of America. 

Wed, 03/18/2015 - 10:34 | 5901939 Jonesy
Jonesy's picture

Hands up in the air, woOOAAaa....woOOAAaaa!!!  This is fun, people that do nothing and print out of thin air pretending like they can't do more of the same or it'll ruin the intergrity of the scam.  Goyim are dumb as shit for hanging on the words of these crooks.

Will she or won't she remove the word 'patient' at 2 pm today?  I feel like a dick just for asking.

Wed, 03/18/2015 - 10:33 | 5901951 czarangelus
czarangelus's picture

Greece is not Lehman.

It's 10x bigger.

Wed, 03/18/2015 - 10:34 | 5901953 All is chosen
All is chosen's picture

Why all the fuss over bond spreads?

The new ECB two-tier system will fix that:

Spread widen = Bad Banken. Ze transfer along with ze bond austerity measures vil be automatic.

Wed, 03/18/2015 - 10:35 | 5901955 Downtoolong
Downtoolong's picture

.it has yet to provide an explanation how it will resolve the billions of Greek debt held on its own balance sheet which are about to be "marked-to-default"...and on which it is prohibited from suffering a loss

I think this is around the point where Goldman steps in with a double-twist triple-back flip derivative agreement of some kind to save the day, funded by Buffett of course.   

Wed, 03/18/2015 - 10:56 | 5902046 Bankster Kibble
Bankster Kibble's picture

And then guaranteed by the US government.  What's a few more tr - er, billions.  Chicken feed.

Wed, 03/18/2015 - 10:58 | 5902055 Emergency Ward
Emergency Ward's picture

you got me by two minutes BK!

Wed, 03/18/2015 - 10:58 | 5902051 Emergency Ward
Emergency Ward's picture

...with Buffett and GS having secured secret US Govt guaranteed paybacks...

Wed, 03/18/2015 - 10:36 | 5901961 sudzee
sudzee's picture

Greece wins. The EU would collapse overnight if Grexit. Yanis and Vlad must be smilling. 

Wed, 03/18/2015 - 10:37 | 5901963 Who was that ma...
Who was that masked man's picture

Wow.  I'd better cash in my Greek olives and souvlaki before it's too late.

Wed, 03/18/2015 - 10:38 | 5901967 czarangelus
czarangelus's picture

The whole Eurozone will burn in this though.

Wed, 03/18/2015 - 10:39 | 5901969 Who was that ma...
Who was that masked man's picture

I wonder if souvlaki goes well with vodka?

Wed, 03/18/2015 - 10:40 | 5901977 Goldbugger
Goldbugger's picture

Bring it on that should be 150 handles on the SPX.

Wed, 03/18/2015 - 10:42 | 5901980 Atomizer
Atomizer's picture

How can I pass a new US bank stress test? Invoke common core math skills. 

Wed, 03/18/2015 - 10:41 | 5901981 Jonesy
Jonesy's picture

At least with bankruptcy Greece will start with a clean slate, it's much worse to keep pandering to the EU.

Wed, 03/18/2015 - 10:42 | 5901987 Seize Mars
Seize Mars's picture

...and that, my friends, is what QE/Euro-style is for. It's not for European bond buying. Don't mistake evil for stupid. They know there's no supply. It's to shore up all the fucking trading companies and IB's that will have mucho-mucho collateral vaporize. And the sad part is...it just might work!

 

Wed, 03/18/2015 - 10:45 | 5902000 eyesofpelosi
eyesofpelosi's picture

The whole system is fiendishly delusional. Okay, so Greece is in debt to a system that uses fiat (fake) "money"...logic dictates that said debt is fiat.

Wed, 03/18/2015 - 10:45 | 5902001 sessinpo
sessinpo's picture

And when Greece is done, which EU country will be next. Then we'll all be posting the same messages except changing the name of the country from Greece to _______ .

Wed, 03/18/2015 - 10:46 | 5902005 ANestIOS
ANestIOS's picture

Manager Magazin talks of 3 examined alternatives by Mr Miranda - 1. chaotic grexit 2. consensual and orderly 3. negotiated haicut (-75%!) without grexit. Now the news in this story is the 3rd option because it was NEVER considered officially before!!!

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