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Thousands Of Layoffs Coming After Buffett Merges Heinz With Kraft, Creating 5th Largest Food Company In The World

Tyler Durden's picture




 

Another day, another mega-M&A deal taking advantage of abnormally low bond rates, this time however not involving biotechs or a specialty pharma seeking to purchase a debt-free balance sheet, but one involving the Oracle of Omaha himself, and his Heinz investment, which will merge with Kraft Foods whose market cap was over $40 billion this morning on the news of the merger, and create the third largest food and beverage company in the US, and 5th largest in  the world. 

And while the resulting company will certainly be an unprecedented food giant, one which leaves the US food industry even more concentrated, here is the rationale behind the deal and the punchline for American workers: "significant synergy opportunities." Translation: thousands of layoffs imminent.

Details from the press release:

H.J. Heinz Company And Kraft Foods Group Sign Definitive Merger Agreement To Form The Kraft Heinz Company Combination Creates Unparalleled Portfolio of Powerful and Iconic Brands

  • Merger will create the 3rd largest food and beverage company in North America and the 5th largest food and beverage company in the world.
  • Combined company to be named The Kraft Heinz Company and to be co-headquartered in Pittsburgh and the Chicago area.
  • The new company will have revenues of approximately $28 billion with eight $1+ billion brands and five brands between $500 million-$1 billion.
  • Stock and cash transaction, with Kraft shareholders to receive a special cash dividend of $16.50 per share upon closing and stock in the combined company representing a 49% stake in the new company.
  • Berkshire Hathaway and 3G Capital will invest an additional $10 billion in The Kraft Heinz Company; existing Heinz shareholders will collectively own 51% of the new company.
  • Significant synergy opportunities with strong platform for organic growth in North America, as well as global expansion, by combining Kraft's brands with Heinz's international platform.
  • The Kraft Heinz Company is fully committed to maintaining an investment grade rating; Company plans to maintain Kraft's current dividend per share, which is expected to increase over time

Full press release:

-- H.J. Heinz Company and Kraft Foods Group, Inc. (NASDAQ: KRFT) today announced that they have entered into a definitive merger agreement to create The Kraft Heinz Company, forming the third largest food and beverage company in North America with an unparalleled portfolio of iconic brands.

Under the terms of the agreement, which has been unanimously approved by both Heinz and Kraft's Boards of Directors, Kraft shareholders will own a 49% stake in the combined company, and current Heinz shareholders will own 51% on a fully diluted basis. Kraft shareholders will receive stock in the combined company and a special cash dividend of $16.50 per share. The aggregate special dividend payment of approximately $10 billion is being fully funded by an equity contribution by Berkshire Hathaway and 3G Capital.

The proposed merger creates substantial value for Kraft shareholders. The special cash dividend payment represents 27% of Kraft's closing price as of March 24, 2015. Also, by continuing to own shares of the new combined company, Kraft shareholders will have the opportunity to participate in the new company's long-term value creation potential.

Global Brand Portfolio Powerhouse

The combination of these iconic food companies joins together two portfolios of beloved brands, including Heinz, Kraft, Oscar Mayer, Ore-Ida and Philadelphia. Together the new company will have eight $1+ billion brands and five brands between $500 million and $1 billion. The complementary nature of the two brand portfolios presents substantial opportunity for synergies, which will result in increased investments in marketing and innovation.

Alex Behring, Chairman of Heinz and the Managing Partner at 3G Capital, said, "By bringing together these two iconic companies through this transaction, we are creating a strong platform for both U.S. and international growth. Our combined brands and businesses mean increased scale and relevance both in the U.S. and internationally. We have the utmost respect for the Kraft business and its employees, and greatly look forward to working together as we integrate the two companies."

Warren Buffett, Chairman and CEO of Berkshire Hathaway said, "I am delighted to play a part in bringing these two winning companies and their iconic brands together. This is my kind of transaction, uniting two world-class organizations and delivering shareholder value. I'm excited by the opportunities for what this new combined organization will achieve."

"Together we will have some of the most respected, recognized and storied brands in the global food industry, and together we will create an even brighter future," said John Cahill, Kraft Chairman and Chief Executive Officer. "This combination offers significant cash value to our shareholders and the opportunity to be investors in a company very well positioned for growth, especially outside the United States, as we bring Kraft's iconic brands to international markets. We look forward to uniting with Heinz in what will be an exciting new chapter ahead."

"We are thrilled about the unique opportunities this merger will create for our consumers worldwide, as well as our employees and business partners. Together, Heinz and Kraft will be able to achieve rapid expansion while delivering the quality, brands and products that our consumers love," said Bernardo Hees, Heinz Chief Executive Officer. "Over the past two years, we have transformed Heinz into one of the most efficient and profitable food companies in the world while reinvesting behind our key brands and continuing our relentless commitment to quality and innovation."

Management and Governance

When the transaction closes, Alex Behring, Chairman of Heinz and the Managing Partner at 3G Capital, will become the Chairman of The Kraft Heinz Company. John Cahill, Kraft Chairman and Chief Executive Officer, will become Vice Chairman and chair of a newly formed operations and strategy committee of the Board of Directors.

Bernardo Hees, Chief Executive Officer of Heinz, will be appointed Chief Executive Officer of The Kraft Heinz Company. The new executive team for the combined global company will be announced during the transition period, but no later than transaction closing.

The Board of Directors of the combined company will consist of five members appointed by the current Kraft Board, as well as the current Heinz Board, including three members from Berkshire Hathaway and three members from 3G Capital.

Long-Term Ownership

3G Capital and its principals have a proven track record of investing in and growing iconic brands. In previous transactions over the years, 3G has partnered with other long-term investors to build significant shareholder value by driving innovation and growth and expanding the international reach of its companies and brands.

Berkshire Hathaway and 3G Capital have a history of successful partnerships and are committed to long-term ownership of The Kraft Heinz Company as it strengthens its leadership position in the industry.

Commitment to Communities

The Kraft Heinz Company will be co-headquartered in Pittsburgh and the Chicago area.

Understanding the need to preserve both Heinz and Kraft's heritage in their respective hometowns of Pittsburgh and the Chicago area, the new company is committed to supporting local charities and community relationships in the communities in which they operate.

Structure, Terms and Synergies

Existing Heinz shareholders will have a 51% ownership stake in the combined company, and existing Kraft shareholders will have a 49% ownership stake on a fully diluted basis. Each share of Kraft will be converted into one share of The Kraft Heinz Company.

The significant synergy potential includes an estimated $1.5 billion in annual cost savings implemented by the end of 2017. Synergies will come from the increased scale of the new organization, the sharing of best practices and cost reductions.

The transaction is expected to be EPS accretive by 2017. Once the transaction is complete, The Kraft Heinz Company plans to maintain Kraft's current dividend per share, which is expected to increase over time. Kraft has no plans to change its dividend prior to closing.

The special cash dividend of $10 billion in the aggregate to existing Kraft shareholders will be paid upon closing and will be funded by an equity investment by Berkshire Hathaway and 3G Capital. Shares of the company will continue to be publicly traded.

As the cash consideration is fully funded by common equity from Berkshire Hathaway and 3G Capital, the merger is not expected to increase the debt levels of The Kraft Heinz Company. The Company is fully committed to deleveraging in a timely manner and to maintaining an investment grade rating going forward.

Approvals

The transaction is subject to approval by Kraft shareholders, receipt of regulatory approvals and other customary closing conditions and is expected to close in the second half of 2015.

Advisors

Lazard served as exclusive financial advisor for Heinz, and Cravath, Swaine & Moore and Kirkland and Ellis acted as legal advisors.

Centerview Partners LLC served as exclusive financial advisor for Kraft, and Sullivan & Cromwell acted as legal advisor.

 

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Wed, 03/25/2015 - 06:39 | 5924412 cossack55
cossack55's picture

Who determined it was food?

Wed, 03/25/2015 - 06:45 | 5924415 Supernova Born
Supernova Born's picture

Velvetta as a corporate mantra.

Wed, 03/25/2015 - 06:46 | 5924424 SafelyGraze
SafelyGraze's picture

the nation only needs one food company

and a single-payer system to deliver the food to where it's needed, when it's needed

because people have a right to food

hugs,
codex alimentarius

 

 

Wed, 03/25/2015 - 06:52 | 5924428 GetZeeGold
GetZeeGold's picture

 

 

Thousands Of Layoffs Coming

 

Only 29.5hr/wk jobs.....hardly worth mentioning.

 

Get on your knees and repeat after me..........yes we can.

Wed, 03/25/2015 - 06:56 | 5924441 overmedicatedun...
overmedicatedundersexed's picture

big companies swallow the whole economy, for the children.

vote for mega corp it is freedom

buffett & munger Love us all

rape is love

some" people" just need killin.

Wed, 03/25/2015 - 06:59 | 5924450 The Limerick King
The Limerick King's picture

 

 

Heinz will be merging with Kraft

A move that will prove to be daft

It's all about cost

And jobs to be lost

Employees are getting the shaft

Wed, 03/25/2015 - 07:08 | 5924468 Bilderberg Member
Bilderberg Member's picture

Mac and cheese blizzards coming to your nearby Dairy Queen soon. 

Wed, 03/25/2015 - 07:11 | 5924481 overmedicatedun...
overmedicatedundersexed's picture

sorry this is my fault you see I do not buy either co's products, they gotta merge to survive.

only gmo food is used by both co's- spread the word.

Wed, 03/25/2015 - 07:19 | 5924501 negative rates
negative rates's picture

Probably going to have to make my own ketchup soon because of this, compliments of uncle warren.

Wed, 03/25/2015 - 07:56 | 5924569 Divine Wind
Divine Wind's picture

 

 

 

SecState Kerry (via his wife's holdings in Heinz) will profit quite well from this merger.

Big Ketchup!

 

 

Wed, 03/25/2015 - 17:50 | 5927038 Againstthelie
Againstthelie's picture

And it means less competition.

As J.D. Rockefeller in a seldom moment of truthfulness admitted, what it's about: "Capitalism is about avoiding competition."

It's about building Oligopolys and Monopolys while telling the sheeple that competition was good - but strangely only for others while they avoid it.

So contrary to the propaganda, they admit that Capitalism has nothing to do with a free market economy, but opposes it and always strives torwards monopolys.

Wed, 03/25/2015 - 09:46 | 5924980 tarsubil
tarsubil's picture

Heinz ketchup is one of the worst toxic sludges you can consume. Kraft is cheap toxic processed food too. No wonder the little troll from Omaha bought these both up.

Weimar had the exact same thing happen. A couple of individuals ended up owning all industry and wealth. We keep on this path, rolling the mf'ing guillotines is assured.

Wed, 03/25/2015 - 10:25 | 5925141 power steering
power steering's picture

John Kerry's tongue (which by the way served with him in Vietnam)s flicking, flashing, darting in and out, faster than the catsup bottling line. Mile a minute. My pet lizards would be proud

Wed, 03/25/2015 - 21:28 | 5927749 unicorn
unicorn's picture

pdf free download "ban gmos now", all the scientific proves against gmo you ever searched for

description:

http://www.i-sis.org.uk/Ban_GMOs_Now.php

direct link:

http://www.i-sis.org.uk/Ban_GMOs_Now.pdf

newest study (its in the milk of goats):

http://www.smallruminantresearch.com/article/S0921-4488%2815%2900052-8/a...

 

food is not like an iphone. control the food, like they did before the riots in egypt and...

Wed, 03/25/2015 - 08:01 | 5924538 duo
duo's picture

Kraft "cheese" isn't really cheese.  Heinz products are laced with HFCS.  If it wasn't for school lunch programs, Heinz/Kraft would probably be much smaller.  Clearly Warren got wind of some sort of government food program.  Maybe EBT card users will be forced to buy Heinz.Kraft products only? No-bid food service contract for the DoD?

Wed, 03/25/2015 - 08:08 | 5924600 Fun Facts
Fun Facts's picture

All mainline megacorp food is now toxic; laced with thousands of toxic chemicals, GMO, GMOHFC and preservatives.

If you can afford not to eat it, and you're still eating it, you're an idiot.

Caveat Emptor.

Wed, 03/25/2015 - 08:19 | 5924634 Usurious
Usurious's picture

 

 

the government will mandate that you buy it and eat it.........soon you will have to send your stool sample to NSA as proof that you are eating toxic food........

Wed, 03/25/2015 - 08:40 | 5924703 duo
duo's picture

shouldn't be difficult.  If your stool is orange or glows in the dark, you're eating right!

Wed, 03/25/2015 - 16:18 | 5926681 mkkby
mkkby's picture

The gov doesn't have to mandate anything when it comes to synthetic food substitutes.  The sheeple buy what ever they see on TV.  That's all you need to raise your sales of crap.  Just show some dark skinned people eating it an smiling.

Wed, 03/25/2015 - 12:38 | 5925719 Pie rre
Pie rre's picture

The ACA already provides the NSA, Treasury, et all with the neccesary information by requiring doctor's offices to use electronic medical records. We lost a lot of privacy to pick up another 9 million insured.

Wed, 03/25/2015 - 21:33 | 5927759 unicorn
unicorn's picture

they possess the genes for conventional seeds too, and the new genmanipulationstechniques are not detectable, they can even let the plant produce proteins, that can do quite whatever they like..... . . . .

Wed, 03/25/2015 - 07:09 | 5924477 NoVa
NoVa's picture

Well, the Sec of State Mr Kraft and his Mrs will be taken care of just fine.

 

Wed, 03/25/2015 - 08:36 | 5924695 oudinot
oudinot's picture

Heinz will be merging with Kraft,

Its very hard to contain a laugh,

Processed foods are a lost cause,

Buffet is not at all a Santa Clause,

The only eaters will be the  riff raff.

 

 

 

 

Wed, 03/25/2015 - 09:51 | 5924995 plane jain
plane jain's picture

IME big processed food is on the way out. Just a mom here who chats online with other moms. Certain ingredients I largely avoid. Would be nice to do all organic/non GMO, but price, availability and labeling make that challenging.

I checked out the list and we use:

Miracle Whip

Lea & Perrins

Planter's Peanuts (sometimes, because generic ones tend to have MSG for some reason)

Capri Sun Roaring Waters (not the best, but works well for the random school thing)

Kraft Mac & Cheese (yeah, I know...not a steady diet though...kid may have it twice a month max)

Don't buy a lot of Heinz products due to HFCS. Don't buy Oscar Mayer due to nitrates/nitrites. Prefer natural cheese and don't buy according to brand, but quality and price.

I would guess our purchases from this giant combine are around $100 - $150 a year at the most.

Wed, 03/25/2015 - 07:35 | 5924529 Bangin7GramRocks
Bangin7GramRocks's picture

They will only need one legal team and one giant government bailout when their GMO frankenfood is exposed as toxic and poisonous. Synergy indeed!

Wed, 03/25/2015 - 07:45 | 5924545 new game
new game's picture

big food, big pharma, big everything. pretty soon gov.org will only have to bail out a handfull of oligarchs when TSHF. since i don't buy any of their crap food wtf. but, the lobby goes on. hopeless getting out the gmo poisnous disaster to come. big pharma loves this. moar death disgussed as cancer. learning to hate buffet and all his ilk...only getting worse in the land diminishing choice.

Wed, 03/25/2015 - 11:07 | 5925346 urrterrible
urrterrible's picture

Who ever down voted your comment should be fed only mac n cheese and raped the rest of their life lol

Wed, 03/25/2015 - 07:12 | 5924484 Monetas
Monetas's picture

Ya mix Heinz with Kraft .... you get Thousand Island dressing .... code word for the Carribean !

Wed, 03/25/2015 - 08:05 | 5924590 cossack55
cossack55's picture

So....Obozo is going to invade Granada as the only "sure win" for the US MIC?

Wed, 03/25/2015 - 07:31 | 5924523 pigs-n-space
pigs-n-space's picture

Soylent green? Soylent green, from a one payer medical  system to a single  food giant.  Oh the irony. Truth is always stranger than fiction. 

Wed, 03/25/2015 - 07:53 | 5924562 Groundhog Day
Groundhog Day's picture

I guess buffet keeps waging war in the middle class and is winning

Wed, 03/25/2015 - 06:42 | 5924418 ParkAveFlasher
ParkAveFlasher's picture

Prepared "foodish-things" is the ultimate "biotech".

Wed, 03/25/2015 - 07:01 | 5924458 Millivanilli
Millivanilli's picture

Soylent IS real.   Industrialized, gmo'd, reprocessed, bleached, preserved, enriched, and then fried into a nice little tasty niblet is the perfect trojan horse.  

 

Feel shitty, tired, depressed?

 

Don't exercise, breath deeply?

 

Take Pill X  Problem Reaction Solution, bitchez

Wed, 03/25/2015 - 07:09 | 5924476 Arnold
Arnold's picture

Just look at American cheese. Wrong color though.

Wed, 03/25/2015 - 09:10 | 5924819 FireBrander
FireBrander's picture

"synergy"

20 years ago, a college professor of mine said "if you hear the word "synergy", prepare for failure".

Wed, 03/25/2015 - 09:21 | 5924870 JRobby
JRobby's picture

Citigroup

AOL Time Warner

etc.

etc.

etc.

Wed, 03/25/2015 - 09:20 | 5924864 JRobby
JRobby's picture

All the foods that make you, your children and your unborn children sick are served up by 5 CO's now!!!

Fucking great!!

Wed, 03/25/2015 - 06:40 | 5924413 Thirst Mutilator
Thirst Mutilator's picture

So now Kraft will be available in all 57 states?

Wed, 03/25/2015 - 06:43 | 5924420 williambanzai7
williambanzai7's picture

58 including Ukraine

Wed, 03/25/2015 - 06:44 | 5924422 Thirst Mutilator
Thirst Mutilator's picture

Perfect! Because they can use all the leftover rat feces from ketchup making into adding a nice velvety texture to the nacho cheese spread.

Wed, 03/25/2015 - 06:56 | 5924442 GetZeeGold
GetZeeGold's picture

 

 

including Ukraine

 

Send lawyers, guns, and snipers........dad get me out of this.

Wed, 03/25/2015 - 07:35 | 5924524 SillySalesmanQu...
SillySalesmanQuestion's picture

Coming soon to a supermarket near you, Uncle Warren's Ketchup Flavored Mac & Cheese! Try our one of other 56 flavors...

Wed, 03/25/2015 - 07:50 | 5924559 new game
new game's picture

buffet seeing that direct payment at walmart for all this crap food. what a scam.

cycle of captured buyers. 50 million ready made hungry dumb fucks that can't read a label.

Wed, 03/25/2015 - 14:09 | 5926143 Icelandicsaga.....
Icelandicsaga...............................................'s picture

Thirst . thanks for that... you have just cured my ketsup  craving... for all time. Much obliged.

Wed, 03/25/2015 - 07:00 | 5924452 NoVa
NoVa's picture

Hey Tyler, leave Grandpa Warren alone.  He is an old man.

 

Wed, 03/25/2015 - 07:59 | 5924577 p00k1e
p00k1e's picture

Buffet is a cute old man.  Probably smells like Aspen Wood, Hamster cage chips.

An American Billionaire with our best interests at heart. 

Wed, 03/25/2015 - 10:38 | 5925216 Max Steel
Max Steel's picture

an old man fucking with america's future generations .

Wed, 03/25/2015 - 07:27 | 5924499 giovanni_f
giovanni_f's picture

"58 including Ukraine" - with Poroshenko's Roshen group as the exclusive importer. This will contribute to a at least partial compensation of our most loyal Oligarch there for his tremendous sacrifices he took in the heroic fight for a free and democratic Ukraine.

Wed, 03/25/2015 - 07:37 | 5924530 Monetas
Monetas's picture

You know where Obama got that number 57 .... there are 57 Islamic states .... and he is a Muslim !

Wed, 03/25/2015 - 09:12 | 5924827 FireBrander
FireBrander's picture

57 is also a steak sauce, and Obama likes steak..go figure.

Wed, 03/25/2015 - 09:52 | 5924996 Jumbotron
Jumbotron's picture

Nah.  He's not a Muslim.  But he does gravitate to Black/Brown Power movements.  Islam is not a religion.  It's a Brown Power movement, Just like The Black Panthers were a Black Power movement and The Nation of Islam is a Black Power movement.  All intent on overthrowing Whitey.  Obama, if he is anything, is a narcissist.

Wed, 03/25/2015 - 06:42 | 5924417 turnoffthewater
turnoffthewater's picture

"Approvals

The transaction is subject to approval by Kraft shareholders, receipt of regulatory approvals and other customary closing conditions and is expected to close in the second half of 2015."

What about the SEC. Oh I forgot....their bought and paid for

Wed, 03/25/2015 - 06:55 | 5924435 cossack55
cossack55's picture

The SEC is the first check on the disbursement list.  Having someone from the SEC to step away from their pornstravaganzas to cash the check is a different problem.

Wed, 03/25/2015 - 06:50 | 5924431 miker
miker's picture

This is another example of monopolistic merging that is designed to rape the average person.  How the US government can stand by and not refuse these megamergers only tells me the system is both corrupt and in such bad shape that no one moves to stop them.

Wed, 03/25/2015 - 06:59 | 5924449 silverer
silverer's picture

Running it out of Chicago.  Perfect.

Wed, 03/25/2015 - 07:33 | 5924527 Ward cleaver
Ward cleaver's picture

Why? Cause it's all part of the
go mint plan to enslave the populace.
After being fired by my bank I ended
up at BB and B making $12.50/hr, maximum
25/hrs per week. I'm so proud I've helped
bring the unemployment rate down. Row, Row (drum beat loud)

Thu, 03/26/2015 - 08:55 | 5928860 localizer
localizer's picture

lol, gubmint IS the business! ONE government - ONE corporation. The dystopian sci-fi film reality is closer than we think, scary shit is unravelling at a rather fast pace in fact.

Wed, 03/25/2015 - 06:53 | 5924432 Shitgum Suicide
Shitgum Suicide's picture

Two of shit is shit. If they really want fuck you they'd merge theses "food" companies wih a railroad and force This shit on your kids.

That sounds familiar for some reason.

Wed, 03/25/2015 - 07:00 | 5924453 Thirst Mutilator
Thirst Mutilator's picture

Well, to me it appears that Buffet is trying to go the Con Agra route...

 

Con Agra owns Reddi Wip & Hebrew National [so they already have the "Whipped cream on Shit" market cornered].

Wed, 03/25/2015 - 06:54 | 5924437 Keyboard Kommando
Keyboard Kommando's picture

Were they union? If they were, good!

Wed, 03/25/2015 - 06:58 | 5924446 GetZeeGold
GetZeeGold's picture

 

 

Edgy and cynical.....this isn't your first time is it?

Wed, 03/25/2015 - 06:56 | 5924440 Winston Churchill
Winston Churchill's picture

Haft,or Kreinz ?

Wed, 03/25/2015 - 07:01 | 5924456 Thirst Mutilator
Thirst Mutilator's picture

Wonder if they're gonna merge the New England Patriots & Pittsburgh Steelers

Wed, 03/25/2015 - 07:04 | 5924464 HowdyDoody
HowdyDoody's picture

First we had extruded cheese. Now we will have extruded beenz.

Wed, 03/25/2015 - 07:38 | 5924506 Monetas
Monetas's picture

Already have them .... refried Pinto or Bayo beans .... in a pouch .... 50 cents ! Think of the "Beanergies" this deal will liberate ?

Wed, 03/25/2015 - 07:18 | 5924498 Monetas
Monetas's picture

Marie Haft and John Kreinz ?

Wed, 03/25/2015 - 07:24 | 5924509 TeethVillage88s
TeethVillage88s's picture

Conflict of Interest by John Kerry??

Wed, 03/25/2015 - 06:57 | 5924444 silverer
silverer's picture

Thanks, Warren.  Just what the country needed.  And this guy advises the president?

Wed, 03/25/2015 - 07:04 | 5924461 GetZeeGold
GetZeeGold's picture

 

 

Only half as much as Al Sharpton does.......thank goodness.

Wed, 03/25/2015 - 07:20 | 5924503 TeethVillage88s
TeethVillage88s's picture

Heinz Kraft Company

5th Largest in the World Doesn't say "Anti-Competition" or "Anti-Trust" to bought judges...

And coincidentally 3rd largest in USA doesn't trigger action from the US BAR Association, the Self Regulating Lawyers Association...??

- Bankers on Wall Street, Politicians in VICHY DC, Lawyers, Judges, and Lobbyist are all Self Regulating.
- OR they are part of a COUP on US Constitution and Established Law
- Or they are part of a Reinvention of Government by the Ivy League or Trilateral Commission
- Or there is some other Massive Influence like Greed or Blackmail going on

- Small Businesses have no Rights, no wonder they are closing down faster than new businesses are being created

- How is the Price of Food in the Stores Today ZH?? Are the prices too high, not enough Competition??

Wed, 03/25/2015 - 08:13 | 5924616 mtl4
mtl4's picture

No, this oligarch tells the president what to do........kinda like the old grandpa that was head of your typical mafia crime family.

 

Gotta love the current mantra of share buybacks and massive layoffs to boost share prices, no way that will come back to bite them at all.

Wed, 03/25/2015 - 06:57 | 5924445 oudinot
oudinot's picture

I can't see how that wizened, old prick Buffet can keep living in his eithties drinking cherry coke and Dairy Queen sugar fests?

Wed, 03/25/2015 - 08:14 | 5924618 quasimodo
quasimodo's picture

Those times are few indeed. Don't kid yourself, these fuckers know better and eat/drink nothing but the best, wholesome foods most of the time. I'm sure there are photo ops with the shit food for the dumb sheep, ya know....so they all think it's cool.

Wed, 03/25/2015 - 07:01 | 5924457 Blano
Blano's picture

This deal should produce multiple orgasms on CNBC today. 

Wed, 03/25/2015 - 07:04 | 5924465 orangegeek
orangegeek's picture

this is great news for the jobs report

 

unemployment rates should fall even further

 

right barry?  you fucking communist prick!!!

Wed, 03/25/2015 - 07:07 | 5924466 Debugas
Debugas's picture

Competition is a sin

Wed, 03/25/2015 - 07:14 | 5924487 Arnold
Arnold's picture

How come you cutting edge analysts didn't see this coming?

Wed, 03/25/2015 - 07:14 | 5924489 Monetas
Monetas's picture

Pompous passengers .... used to complain about airline food .... then would run home .... to make mac and cheese .... bitch enough and you lose a good thing !

Wed, 03/25/2015 - 07:27 | 5924510 Bill of Rights
Bill of Rights's picture

If you're eating this shit you're contributing to the shit. Most of Kraft foods cater to the lard ass parasites that permeate the system.

Indulge, the quicker these pieces of shit die off the better off we all are.

Wed, 03/25/2015 - 07:25 | 5924511 sessinpo
sessinpo's picture

So far not a single comment on John Kerry profitting from this? Interesting.

Wed, 03/25/2015 - 07:29 | 5924516 GetZeeGold
GetZeeGold's picture

 

 

You're the winner....you win a brand new sailboat....parked off of Rhode Island.

Wed, 03/25/2015 - 07:29 | 5924515 Monetas
Monetas's picture

I live in a third world country .... you have no idea .... of the good will .... these companies have .... more than Russian Mayonaise Tractor Works !

Wed, 03/25/2015 - 07:33 | 5924519 Monetas
Monetas's picture

Well, Mexico is not third world .... it's at least 2.5 world ! Mexicans love Taco Bell .... and the socialist government is mortified !

Wed, 03/25/2015 - 07:39 | 5924534 negative rates
negative rates's picture

The ones who really love it, don't have any teeth.

Wed, 03/25/2015 - 07:53 | 5924557 Monetas
Monetas's picture

I am haunted by the realization .... that if I had only brushed my teeth .... with my finger and some Arm & Hammer baking soda .... like Granpa did .... out by the water pump .... I'd still have him .... errr .... them !

Wed, 03/25/2015 - 08:06 | 5924594 groundedkiwi
groundedkiwi's picture

Or just maybe it was Granpa's diet?

Wed, 03/25/2015 - 07:37 | 5924531 Skip
Skip's picture

Teresa Heinz Kerry inherited the Heinz company after her husband Republican US Senator from Pennsylvania Heinz, GOY, mysteriously died in a private plane crash. Whereupon she married John "Jonah Kohn" Kerry who then had the finances to run for President etc. Kohn-Kerry's past is interesting to look into.

We see today the glories of Capitalism, just remember that Capitalism is the flip side of Communism which are both Tribal to the core.

Wed, 03/25/2015 - 07:39 | 5924535 Mentalic
Mentalic's picture

Where does that leave Mr. Horse face?

Wed, 03/25/2015 - 07:42 | 5924541 Monetas
Monetas's picture

He's too busy .... managing foreign contributions .... to the Clintown Foundation !

Wed, 03/25/2015 - 08:08 | 5924602 Wahooo
Wahooo's picture

Under the desk with Becky.

Wed, 03/25/2015 - 07:44 | 5924536 sunnyside
sunnyside's picture

And during the next business cycle (if there is one) the company will be broken apart creating millions more in M&A fees 'cause ya know that's what business really is or matters.  Rinse, lather, repeat. This should get unemployement down below 4%, and add at least 1 pt to GDP.  Pretty sure Becky Quick just had another orgasm.  Was Buffett in the tub this time too?

Wed, 03/25/2015 - 07:43 | 5924544 barry2001
barry2001's picture

If you are interested in drones check out this site : http://pickyourdrone.com/

Wed, 03/25/2015 - 07:45 | 5924546 Monetas
Monetas's picture

Want to win a bet .... bet $5 you can stand a French fry on it's end ... then make a pile of Heinz catsup and stick it !

Wed, 03/25/2015 - 07:52 | 5924561 overmedicatedun...
overmedicatedundersexed's picture

if i were king i would mandate that only food produced or sold must be owned by a single family..oh wait that's what we got now..but i did not mean a reptile family.

Wed, 03/25/2015 - 08:00 | 5924579 Monetas
Monetas's picture

I know how to make Heinz catsup .... flow gracefully from the bottle .... no matter how many hot chicks are watching you in a coffee shop .... I will share my system .... send $25 money order .... with SASE .... to Monedas Inc. .... Tijuana !

Wed, 03/25/2015 - 07:57 | 5924572 the not so migh...
the not so mighty maximiza's picture

the new name shall be Krafeinz

 

Wed, 03/25/2015 - 08:01 | 5924581 groundedkiwi
groundedkiwi's picture

Good luck with the merger. It was probably out of neccessity.High immigration creates small family specialist shops. Its been at least 10 yrs since I have bought any grains or spices from a super market. I can usually get a lot more bang for my buck at the ethnic retailers.

Wed, 03/25/2015 - 08:03 | 5924587 toomuchtom
toomuchtom's picture

And then come the price increases; why do we let this creep buffett turn america into one big pottersville. 

Wed, 03/25/2015 - 08:07 | 5924599 Wahooo
Wahooo's picture

I guess that will open up the Uke market for Buffet.

Wed, 03/25/2015 - 08:17 | 5924624 quasimodo
quasimodo's picture

From the article, this really made me chuckle.

 

"with strong platform for organic growth "

I know, it has got nothing to do with organic in the purist sense, but to even lump that word into this article sure gives me pause. 

Fuck your high fructose laden GMO derived you'll shit it out in two hours "food". Fuck it very much.

Wed, 03/25/2015 - 09:41 | 5924958 hootowl
hootowl's picture

I down voted you for lack of intelligent vocabulary, with disgustingly, foul, substitutions of Black Scourgist gutter linguistics.

Wed, 03/25/2015 - 08:20 | 5924637 RushRoolz
RushRoolz's picture

So are we going to start seeing commercials about how Buffett merged these companies, people were laid off, and someone's wife died because Buffett cancelled their insurance? I'm no Romney shill, but what's fair is fair...

 

Wed, 03/25/2015 - 08:21 | 5924638 Sandmann
Sandmann's picture

Apart from merging two German names it is hard to see consumer benefit from a combine of food adulteraters getting together. It is how Capitalists dream of reaching Monopoly status as Kombinats showing they are really all Primitive Communists at heart

Wed, 03/25/2015 - 08:28 | 5924660 chinaboy
chinaboy's picture

Buffet's monoploly of mass destruction.

Wed, 03/25/2015 - 08:51 | 5924740 Winston of Oceania
Winston of Oceania's picture

He wants to be the American Porsche...

Wed, 03/25/2015 - 08:34 | 5924687 RealityCheque
RealityCheque's picture

Great work guys! Plastic cheese and pink slips for everyone!!!

Wed, 03/25/2015 - 08:35 | 5924693 roadhazard
roadhazard's picture

"Thousands of layoffs coming"

It's the American way. Big BIz consolidates and buys back stock so to rule America with little complaint about there actions.

Wed, 03/25/2015 - 08:41 | 5924705 InanimateCarbonRod
InanimateCarbonRod's picture

I don't 'get' the public/investor adoration of that grumpy old man. He's like a plague of locusts moving through America, burning down villages, salting fields, tearing down walls.  I don't think I've ever seen any of the BRK companies actually expand operations in the US. Just cut cut cut...makes Hannibal Lector look like he's using a spork.

Wed, 03/25/2015 - 11:49 | 5925523 pakled
pakled's picture

Geez... you made me giggle

Wed, 03/25/2015 - 08:43 | 5924715 The worst trader
The worst trader's picture

Saw my first Oblama phone last night,yes it exists! She also showed me the O card thet provides cash, food insurance ect....................I puked in my mouth, alot!

Wed, 03/25/2015 - 08:48 | 5924736 Winston of Oceania
Winston of Oceania's picture

I quit buying Heinz ketchup when I noticed how smooth it had become. If you are old enough to recall the "anticipation" commercial you will also remember that it had texture to it. I have no idea what they are using now but it is so smooth that I would suggest cellulose sugar and vinegar are the main with little tomato at all. Just quit buying factory made foods, more of which are being made in China.

Wed, 03/25/2015 - 10:30 | 5925166 optimator
optimator's picture

Winston, I think they've added a healthy H2O.

Wed, 03/25/2015 - 08:52 | 5924743 _SILENCER
_SILENCER's picture

Food, my ass. It's a cancer distribution network.

Wed, 03/25/2015 - 08:52 | 5924745 goldenbuddha454
goldenbuddha454's picture

Well, atleast food is a "transitory" item as stated by the FED which would imply that it regularly fluctuates.  Yes, it fluctuates higher by 25% every fucking year!!  Thanks Keynesian assholes for your hope and change and your food inflation.  Can't wait til Smithfield takes over Nestle!!!

Wed, 03/25/2015 - 13:53 | 5926062 Winston of Oceania
Winston of Oceania's picture

Nestle is a Swiss conglomerate and they own the majority of "food" production and distribution in the world.

Wed, 03/25/2015 - 09:01 | 5924785 Billy Sol Estes
Billy Sol Estes's picture

Shitty food for shitty people

Wed, 03/25/2015 - 09:15 | 5924840 El Hosel
El Hosel's picture

Inglorious Food, by inglorious bastards.

Wed, 03/25/2015 - 09:05 | 5924797 FreeNewEnergy
FreeNewEnergy's picture

Warren only needs to buy Monsanto or ADM and Newcomer Funeral Homes and he'll have the complete cycle, truly, "cradle to grave." Grow shit, feed it to useless morons, kill them, embalm them, bury them (well, maybe, because burning them would probably be cheaper).

Most of you around here have read science fiction, right? And, what has always been predicted by sci-fi writers? Big, huge corporations that own anything.

Try John Brunner's "Stand on Zanzibar" for starters. Written in 1968, Amazon just re-issued it a few years back. When I was in college back in the early 70s it was required reading for a great sociology course I took called, Is a competent citizen possible in today's technological society?

Yes, that was the actual course name. And, you know what? Mostly, the class came to the undeniable conclusion that most citizens in a rapidly advancing technological world would be unprepared and unaware. That was 1971. And here we are. 1/6th of the country on welfare. Close to half of the rest of the working-age population working for some form of government.

We lost our country, in a really bad way. Prep or die, bitchez.

Wed, 03/25/2015 - 09:24 | 5924880 pakled
pakled's picture

Unfortunately your rant pretty much nails it.

Wed, 03/25/2015 - 09:17 | 5924852 Ancestor
Ancestor's picture

Wonder how long before they start producing Soylent Green...

https://twitter.com/balaclavian/status/580718812380540928/photo/1

Wed, 03/25/2015 - 09:19 | 5924858 JRobby
JRobby's picture

All the foods that make you, your children and your unborn children sick are served up by 5 CO's now!!!

Fucking great!!

Wed, 03/25/2015 - 09:20 | 5924862 pakled
pakled's picture

I shop at Trader Joe's. This news has no [direct] bearing on my family. As far as indirect.... still collating...

Wed, 03/25/2015 - 09:23 | 5924877 ejmoosa
ejmoosa's picture

I try to boycot all of Buffett owned businesses.  I'll add this combo to the list with pleasure.

Wed, 03/25/2015 - 09:29 | 5924899 GoldenDonuts
GoldenDonuts's picture

Once we have taken efficiency, offshoring, mergers, computerization, robotization, and droning to their logical ends we will all freeze in the dark because there will be no middle class consumers to buy all of the crap that these black box industries will be spitting out.  

Wed, 03/25/2015 - 09:31 | 5924904 PhiBetaZappa
PhiBetaZappa's picture

Enough with this "layoff" crap already. The vast majority of the people that will be sacked, fired etc. won't be coming back.

"Layoff" was a term used in the old normal. We're in the "new" normal now. That giant sucking sound is Buffett swallowing another company in the name of crapitalism. 

Wed, 03/25/2015 - 09:33 | 5924905 anonymice
anonymice's picture

Combine (Russian: Kombinat):

A large industrial enterprise that combines several different enterprises that are related to each other by a technological process or through an administration, e.g. The Kraft-Heinz Company.

Wed, 03/25/2015 - 09:43 | 5924968 justsayin2u
justsayin2u's picture

Soon the means of production will be consolidated into very few firms which will naturally be so close to the us government as to be one and the same in interest and the transmorgification to neo-socialism will be complete.  People that work for government and large companies will prosper at the expense of the rest.  But don't worry - it's all in your best interest and besides, we need to do it before the Europeans or the Chinese do cause we want America to win right?

Wed, 03/25/2015 - 09:45 | 5924970 shovelhead
shovelhead's picture

Unbelievable.

How lazy or stupid do you have to be to not spend 9 minutes to make real macaroni & cheese from real cheese? Mix some Coleman's dry English mustard in the roux to give it a bit of zing and use extra sharp cheddar with some of any other cheese lying around in the fridge if you're not a purist. Stiff or goopy just depends on how much milk or flour used in the roux.

The half hour bake time will allow you to pursue stupid until the bell dings. Ok. I didn't include the time it takes the water to come to a boil because I didn't feel that was particularly stressful.

Still one of my favorite side dishes.

That Kraft shit is poison in a box.

Wed, 03/25/2015 - 09:53 | 5925005 Mike Honcho
Mike Honcho's picture

Sing it sister.  Buy local, limit your fridge necessities, and learn how to melt cheese over noodles.

Wed, 03/25/2015 - 09:56 | 5925022 J J Pettigrew
J J Pettigrew's picture

Anti Trust?  ha

Socialists love big mergers...for it makes the case for government control when the monopoly kicks in.

It is the progression they love and they will not interrupt it.

Wed, 03/25/2015 - 10:01 | 5925042 Yancey Ward
Yancey Ward's picture

Some folks were synergized.

Wed, 03/25/2015 - 12:58 | 5925390 GIABO
GIABO's picture

Who gives a flying FUCK... If you eat any of that SHIT made by either of those off shore corporations you deserve whatever you get....

Wed, 03/25/2015 - 12:24 | 5925651 benb
benb's picture

Very encouraging to read the comments on this. Warren Buffet and his pal Bill Gates are eugenics monsters. There should be a special Nuremberg style trial for them, Eric Schmidt, and the rest of these mass murdering NWO front men.

Wed, 03/25/2015 - 15:08 | 5926385 mastersnark
mastersnark's picture

Awesome! All my favorite food products are made with synergy.

Wed, 03/25/2015 - 16:15 | 5926664 VisionQuest
VisionQuest's picture

Undeniable: something is wrong with any grown man who uses the word i-c-o-n-i-c to describe bottles of ketchup & slabs of cream cheese. Is that the way corporate America thinks of its products? They are taking themselves 'waaaaaaaaaaaaay to seriously. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Icon

Thu, 03/26/2015 - 08:49 | 5928815 localizer
localizer's picture

One bank, one food company, one hard drive manufacturer etc. etc. - that's where this is going, all part of the 'consolidation' and 'streamlining'... 

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