This page has been archived and commenting is disabled.
According To The TSA, You May Be A Terrorist If...
We were eager to assist the FBI with their recent push to ensure that New Yorkers remain “vigilant” when it comes to identifying and reporting ISIS “recruits and people who may carry out attacks,” but as we noted when the directive was first issued, “it was unclear what a person, pardon, recruit who ‘may carry out attacks in NYC’ looks like.’” Lacking guidance, we speculated that Twitter usage in conjunction with Nutella eating could well be a tell-tale sign, only to learn that the real giveaway is traveling to Turkey from Egypt with an iPod.
Fortunately, the TSA has issued a set of guidelines that, if interpreted correctly, will assist in the identification of terrorists who may seek to use planes as instruments of jihad. The full list is below, but we would note that you don’t have to be a certified “Behavior Detection Officer” to determine that if an individual “appears to be in disguise,” shenanigans may be afoot. Other signs of intent to commit a terrorist act include: showing up late, yawning, having recently shaved, blinking, “bulging” neck arteries, demonstrating an inability to match carry-on with body type, inability to assimilate to latest fashion trends, chest beating, crying, laughing, talking, and, worst of all, smelling bad.
* * *
When asked about the effectiveness of the screening guidelines, one former TSA Behavior Detection Officer told The Intercept the following:
"[It's] complete bullshit."
»
- 102826 reads
- Printer-friendly version
- Send to friend
- advertisements -
I'm going to start wearing a yamaka and jacket emblazoned with the Chertoff Group logo when going to the airport. Probably be treated like royalty.
http://chertoffgroup.com/images/chertoff-group-logo-2.png
I AM a terrorist. Jefferson said that it is my duty.
"But when a long train of abuses and usurpations, pursuing invariably the same Object evinces a design to reduce them under absolute Despotism, it is their right, it is their duty, to throw off such Government, and to provide new Guards for their future security."
And I am withdrawing my consent.
"That to secure these rights, Governments are instituted among Men, deriving their just powers from the consent of the governed..."
The banksters need to repay us.
Zion has NEVER had my consent.
Its a citizens civic duty to harass those pudgy pervs whenever possible. That branch is wildly disconnected from reality. What traveler would not make their list. And this is just a new one, past threat detection is just as insane.
So.. everybody take Viagra about an hour before going to the airport, and demand a pat-down?
I'm always recently shaved. Last time was just three years ago. Feels fresh.
First we had "the interview " with it's false accusations now we have Germanwings Lubitz flight 9525 ...An Oscar-nominated movie that contains eerie similarities to the Germanwings air disaster is set for release. Outrage over the release of movie showing member of aircrew locking himself in cockpit to crash a plane and kill everyone on board...http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-3014631/Questions-raised-release...
Smelling Bad,Mo Fo ?..I make it a point to wipe the crack of my ass with my socks,for a week before boarding a plane
What u do wit dose socks den bro?
Wear 'em with sandals so you'll be the unfashoinable socks+sandals guy, of course.
This is why government is so wothless ... they can only sit around and spend time on coming up with rules (moronic) that restrict others freedom. Think about it ... what can government do except create restrictions to be placed on you and me.
The criteria - Sounds like every politician I have ever met!
Sec.5: "Large sums of monies leaving the US"
Does this include flights to the Cayman Islands (Congress critters) or to Israel (dual citizens)?
Thank goodness I can still carry my Precious -- in modest amounts -- when leaving.
As for the "large sums of monies", well, I plan to have fun (hookers & blo, and casinos) which require cashish. Nothing wrong with some fun, right? "Pursuit of Happiness", and "Happiness of Pursuit" and all that.
If your last name is Bin Laden, You can take a flight out(no checking) even if ALL other commercial aircraft is grounded....
so i shall go dressed a lamp post, when they say " you appear to be a disguised as a lamp post" i can reply, " no I am a lamp post you idiot. "
Lamp posts rarely say anything. Keep your mouth shut or you'll give the game away.
Lamp posts rarely travel by air, so you may have already given the game away.
ohh you are right, i didnt think of that. A mailbox it is then.
lol, I now remember a flight of a couple of years back. I like to travel light and do not carry any hand luggage at all - I mean nothing: no drinks, books, magazines. I do not even wear a watch (old habit) and no mobile phone (starting to hate those things). So I pass from my Amsterdam flight via Singapore.... "please put your belongings in the tray for the scanner" , sir" "I have nothing - just me". "huh? no phone?" "Nope..." They looking really strange at me but I didn't get arrested (even though I smell - a lot).
Reading the TSA rules above means I'm never going near the US again - Gitmo is a cert for me and travel habits.
And as a tip, 20 hours of foing absolutely nothing is wonderful. Thinking and looking (and not at the freaking phone screen at the time).
Last time I flew, I put everything in the tray.
The guy said 'you forgot your cell phone'
I got a funny look when I said I didn't own one.
The USG is the biggest/dumbest terrorist in America
I can Never fly.. I have an overactive sense of Humor..
Nobody has a sense of humor anymore, and i think that's very Funny.
I ask for a seat close to the Isle so i can trip terrorists and they throw me out..
I ask if the Air marshal has extra Ammo they throw me out..
I ask for a show of hands of everybody who wants to Let's Roll and they throw me out
I try to buy free drinks for all the Muslims and they throw me out..
Since the campaign to destroy the First Amendment, protecting freedom of speech, under the guise of The Loathsome Political Correct Speech movement sponsored by The Loathsome Collection of Progressive Would-Be Tyrants, the entire United States has no sense of humor anymore.
We need to begin a Not Politically Correct Speech movement and when assaulted by the PC wanna-be tyrants tell them they are violating our First Amendment Right to Free Speech and we are going to sue them for everything they own including their panties! No more laying down for these wanna-be tyrants and their campaign to destroy our Nation!
And while I'm on the subject of Rights, the Second Amendment says that, "…the right to keep and bear arms shall not infringed." Well, let me tell you these Progressive wanna-be Tyrants, like LOTUS (Liar Of The United States) in the Oval Orifice in the White House, have infringed, infringed and infringed even more on my Second Amendment rights.
It's time for us to attack, in a non-violent way through the courts and political process, the BATF's and LOTUS's illegal and Unconstitutional actions and Executive Orders and Congress' Unconstitutional Laws that infringe all over the Second Amendment. No more of this picking at the margins. No more just trying to get states to put "shall issue" concealed carry permit laws on the books.
We have to start being just as aggressive and in-your face regarding what we want. The Progressive wanna-be tyrants laugh their a**es off at their enemies because they have been steamrolling over us for so many decades.
The country is about to fall apart and that's exactly what the Progressive wanna-be tyrants want. Can you spell Martial Law? Nothing would please LOTUS more than declaring Martial Law and suspending Congress and elections until he has restored order—meaning not in his lifetime. I sure as h*** don't look forward to that prospect!
I think that LOTUS should be IMPEACHED, for high crimes* and misdemeanors**, before he can commit any more treasonous*** acts. If there were any men or women in Congress with convictions of their BELIEFS in the Constitution and COURAGE they would have begun IMPEACHMENT proceedings against LOTUS long before now.
* High Crimes—trampling on the provisions restraining the Presidency in the Constitution;
** Misdemeanors—brazenly changing Laws passed by Congress without Legislation passed by Congress allowing those changes;
*** Treasonous Acts—Negotiating with the enemy, Iran regarding their nuclear program, without the advice and consent of Congress in which their is not even a written agreement. LOTUS will tell us what the agreement is and he's always truthful, right? NO! He's an accomplished, inveterate, psychopathic LIAR! That's why he's LOTUS—LIAR OF THE UNITED STATES; trading 5 high level Taliban officers (is it a coincidence that ISIS/ISIL exploded into prominence shortly thereafter) for a low-ranking U. S. Army deserter, a soldier who willfully and deliberately quit his unit in a combat zone and in the subsequent search for him SIX soldiers were KIA (Killed In Action) who otherwise may not have been killed.
Those are just a few of the possible bill of particulars.
One way to really hit them hard is to tell all the 18 year olds you know not to enlist, fighting for a government that spies on it's own people and gives arms to terrorist and denies arms to Americans.
I love my country but i don't trust my government..
After astute observations I determined that the inmates were in charge of an asylum run by ex-fast food burger flippers. /INSULTINGLY SARCASTIC
I am a veteran of the U. S. Marine Corps and I hardly fit the profile of an actual terrorist. But, since I have a lot of metal in my body a guaranteed strip-search was in order every time I flew. I noted that they rarely, if ever, gave the same kind of attention to the people that I THOUGHT looked suspicious! I concluded it was only a matter of time before someone in plain sight made a mockery of TSA's so-called Security. Therefore, I quit flying ten+ years ago.
I heard someone on the radio news last night that "they", presumably the FAA perhaps assisted by TSA burger flippers, did not do a thorough System Safety Analysis of the required modifications to Commercial Aircraft. He was referring to the fact that the co-pilot of the German Wings flight who deliberately crashed the airplane into the Alps was able to override the pilots keypad code for a preset time limit. A time limit more than long enough for him to perform a perfect CFIT (controlled flight into terrain) maneuver.
It was only a matter of time. Speaking of time, it's been a long time since I've read anything new about the Malaysian Airlines 777 flight MH370 disappearance. Very suspicious times. MH370. MH17(The one shot down over Ukraine?) Now German Wings. What a clusterf***!
So just to confirm, a mannequin will get through just fine, and that Robaxacet wood-stick guy - as long as he's taken his magical treats.
I'm scared of flying and display most of those traits listed except for smelling bad, but I know someone who does smell like shit, should I do my duty and report her?
One thing for sure, the above checklist will keep the TSA so busy they will be needing another 10 billion to reinforce their ranks. When your neighbor becomes a TSA monkey, you know you're going to be in trouble sooner or later.
I enjoy to display to many TSA foxes my protruding bulges.
Hey - don't laugh - the screeners at TSA have middle class jobs - but the clowns who came up with the screening criteria probably made enough under a government contract that they are in the 1%!
About a month ago, my sister broke her foot in a skiing accident and it required her to wear a removable cast. She travels frequently for her job and on a recent trip she was pulled to the side for a "random search". During this search they swabbed her boot and it came back as testing positive for a "banned substance" (she was never told what it was). They moved her into a tiny room and tore through her bag while another officer felt her up. The strange thing is, they never made her remove her cast (it was easily removable) to check if there was any substance in it. She overheard an officer saying "no, were not allowed to make her remove that". So after about a 45 minute ordeal in which she was made to feel like a criminal, she was free to go.
The TSA agents must of thought her cast was some odd fashion choice and thought she was a terrorist.
Does being a terrorist include a Secretary of State being used as the credibility for Iran, a state sponsor of terror, to promote a secret nuclear deal that sells out it's ally israel, to the rest of Europe and prays it with a Islamic phrase as to the possibility of giving nukes to a bunch of lunatics?
http://www.thegatewaypundit.com/2015/03/john-kerry-says-nuclear-deal-wit...
Just like Madeline Not-so-Bright who gave the norks nuclear fuel. But I guess that's all george bush's fault right GW?!?!?!?!
And yes I know this is not his post but I made a promise. Which reminds me...
Madeline Halfbright - tfify
LOL. As suspected, the goal is to make the guidelines so broad as to make anyone fit the category so they can pretty much pull anyone they want out of the herd and start harrassing them.
See...
http://www.threefeloniesaday.com/Youtoo/tabid/86/Default.aspx
All pointless. Stand up and yell anything about taking over the plane and see what happens! That is the downside to what those dumbasses did on 9/11. Use to be a plane ride and release now its crash the plane sooo no more high jacks. Unless you like having every one on the plane dog piling your ass.
public thinks the tsa is effective - when anyone with above room temp iq could bring a plane down today - it is beyond silly what the public will stand for. the one question i have is why they have not hit another plane effectively? ol shoe bomber was close to retarded but still smart enough to not go thru with it while he made it look like a real attempt..seems all the terrorist went on vacation after the cia stopped paying em. and we are left with the TSA and HLS fucking with us 24/7.
They'll soon be stopping all women because they are potential tampon bombers.
The world's fucked up.
That's just so wrong but I had to upvote you. It sounds exactly like something the TSA might say.
Excessive sweating, panting, bulges in clothing.... Wave em through !
Smells bad??? That's raaayyccccissss!!!
wow the form creator must really get a woody when he see's Ann Coulter with all those Adam's apple fetishes.. Stress factor is getting forcibly taxed for this so called war against a tactic. Ya think if they stopped bombing brown people might make the world safer.. Military industrial complex has no shame.
re ...having recently shaved, “bulging” neck arteries, inability to assimilate to latest fashion trends, smelling bad. ..
Paging Hillary!... Paging Hillary!..... Report IMMEDIATELY To Your Nearest TSA Representative...
Thou shalt not talk at the airport
So would my spiderman carry-on be a bad idea?
I guess after I refuse to hop into the microwave oven scanner and I squat down to play-dough funfactory a steamy mudsnake onto a TSA Agent's shiny orthopedic oxfords, I'm instantly branded a terrorist. Those guys need to lighten up.
I am impressed. The TSA has even better paperwork than Hitler's Gestapo.
After much research and ballistics my sniper rifle will be a .22 lr. Head shots only. Scope required, anything within 100 yards is going down. Quiet but deadly.
I don't fly, I don't cross the border.
Out of sight, out of mind. No credit history either.
Don't wake the sleeping dragon. I speak for real Americans, not politics.
Walk softly and carry a big ............
Having said that, Americans are fed up with false flags and being the worlds police. JMHO!
NO mention yet of flying in PRIVATE JETS. Oh wait... terrorists don't use private jets. Want to not get molested? Then become a millionaire or billionaire and just get on your PRIVATE JET and fly away. No anal fisting, no peering in grandma's vagina... Like a G6 baby! That is how i role. Citation X or commericial anal probing?
I propose we start the FLY-club, our private jets will be boeings and will operate similar to a private charter, the legal difference will be huge. No more commercial shit lets crowd'join' this sucker I mean flight...
You should always fly in a private jet or .gov jet.
Exactly why I don't care about getting rich - no sex life
"if interpreted correctly" -
What could possibly go wrong?
So we can sneeze without worry?
yes, but no farting
Fark the TSA. I hope they all get cancer and die slow, painful deaths.
Strong body odor... that's just racist.
These fuckers have been staring at my Adam's apple?
you are a terrorist if you are not a member of the zionutz club. there fixed it. to be fair they have to be pc about your incarceration.
A medium build male Jihadist, would-be-martyr, can easily stuff 2-4 pounds of plastic explosive or other HE up his bung-hole.
The high energy explosives are completely undetectable. Once aboard the plane, he/she can use the lavatory and pull explosives.
Micro-detonators can be smuggled inside a watch or phone. He waits until cruise altitude/speed and steps back into the rest room near the
flight deck. He rolls the semtex or C4 into a 4 foot rope or ball and sticks it to the fuslage or cockpit door. KA-BOOM. Catastrophic explosive
decompression. I haven't flown since 1999. Private jets don't do screens.
if it is that 'easy', then why didn't 20 planes blow up yesterday?
Irrelevant question.
Why, then, can't the Capital punishment drugs be properly mixed and injected? Why can't we execute the murderers who have been given the death penalty who are 110% guilty as charged?
Why isn't Q.E. i.e. Printing trillions of FRNs, used to replenish Social Security and Medicare and other necessary services that rightfully fall under the province of government since Hank Paulson began this trend in 2008, and continues to this day, giving trillions---- no questions asked -----to the galactically fraudulent Jewish Cabal on Wall Street for abysmal failure??
There are a number of heavy caliber cannons along with munitions that have been smuggled into the U.S. The plan is to mount them on large trucks or semi flatbeds, run the gates at major airports and destroy as many passanger planes as possible. Most likly at morning rush hour. Its a question of timing and not of ease. Allah willing.
The point I'm making is... TSA is a joke and is a dog and pony show.
They want you to feel secure when flying but you are not.
The only reason a plane isnt blown up "everyday" is the jihadist choose not to.
The only secure airline is El Al. But, not on the ground in the US.
I gave you an up-arrow because yes, the TSA is a fraud and a joke. However, as far as "not being secure", that may be correct in the sense it is easy for an intelligent person to cause mayhem. But flying is much safer than driving, and driving doesn't scare very many people. Of course, driving is far from secure, since anyone on the road can yank their steering wheel at 70mph and cause mayhem too.
Please lean over and fart, sir.
"Sir, you just don't smell quite right... and it seems your heart is trying to jump out of you shirt."
A terrorist ,according to the idiots of the TSA and the other idiotic spy agency, is also who finds out the governments secrets that often are hidden in plain sights . Any person that doesn't believe the government narrative on the BLS spread around by the controlled media is potentially a terrorist . A person has only to talk on the internet or with friends of the " Tabu subjects that the government doesn't want people to talk about it and voila' another possible terrorist is added to the list . Let's mention again those tabu' subjects ....... UFO , ALIENS , Chemtrails , Alien Bases , Underground bases , Prime Ministers or even High Court Judges who knew 20 years before the time , that one day they would be elected to the top post . This is a common occurrence in the USA and Australia . Think about Obama , and other recent Presidents . Think about similar recent happening in Australia and realize that everything is RIGGED . Sudden promotions of judges or politicians and short " brilliant career " is the sign of Secret Services intervention . Careers are choreographed by puppet masters . It is a state of affairs that goes on for generations of members of the CABALS and very few people notice it .
Thanks for the list of words - think you are now on a list? Just asking and you might want to avoid flying for a while (like the rest of your life).
A woman with a killer bod is a sure sign that the TSA should grope pat her down.
i am a ventriloquist. I did fly once, and have never had a problem. but i did have to give up after they took away my wise cracking puppet. They still wont confirn or deny that hes at gitmo or not. and now i serve fries at maccas.
Chest beating?
Who they looking for, Tarzan?
Latest fashion trend is a burqa, everyone is wearing them driving into the NSA.
It will be interesting how they handle the case, considering transvestites were involved.
red tape courtesy the communist in the White House
They just described "that guy" that stinks up every fourth Blue line El train. #Chicago
I never take my shoes off. Fuck those jerks.
I tell them I have edema and if I take my shoes off I'll never get them back on and I'll need a wheelchair to get to the flight because my poor feet will be too sensitive. They have to back off for medical cases I was told.
I make them do the shoe swipe, which they hate, and then they have to ask all these questions which ties them all up. My favorite is when the swipe meter doesn't read right and they have to keep repeating the test.
Makes no difference to me how long it takes because I'm always way early for my flight.
I like to cause as much inconvenience as I can to them for the trouble they give me.
I'm the TSA troll.
I show them my PP and they say, "Good evening, Sir, can I assist you, sir? Would you like to go to the VIP lounge?"
I let them light my cigs and get moar orange for my vodka.
That right..Show good attitude!
TSA(too stupid for Arby's) the way I get back at these fuck stains was to opt out and they'd have to do a pat down. So when that would start behind me with the search I'd let a big nasty rip they'd would get pissed. Hey fuck you pal no one made you take the job
Would be totally worth the shart clean-up in your pants just to see the look on the dude's face. Wonder if he'd continue sliding his hands down my pant leg, or perhaps decide I was A-OK.
That's a great tip! I'll have to remember that if I ever become suicidal enough to begin flying again.
Before I quit flying, I carried my walking stick that I made from a small tree fished out of a Pacific Northwest river. Two roots, at a 90-degree angle to the slender tree and from each other, when trimmed and shaped, made great handholds. They are also fairly narrow at the ends and I made them quite hard by fire-hardening. So, it doubles as a great self-defense tool where nothing else is allowed.
The metal embedded in my body sets off metal detectors every time I go through one. At airport screening, that sends the TSA people into a flurry of activity and excitement, leading to the inevitable strip search, regardless of how many times I try to explain that the metal items are not in my pockets. But, they never, ever said anything about my walking stick.
Go figure. It makes no sense in a real, objective view.
It's time to let machines fly airplanes,humans are too fucking crazy..
Machines aren't crazy, but if the plane is programmed by microsoft, you will probably die in a plane crash anyway.
Yeh, very fitting if the last thing you see on the in flight monitors is the blue screen of death....
MANUALLY_INITIATED_CRASH
Windows just took a minidump
Normal service will never be resumed
Jihad by any other name would smell ass sweat.
You are a crossdresser who shoots up nsa, hahhahahahaha
Turns out it was good for GDP, Coke & Hookers, just happen to have male equipment. lol
You may be a prospective TSA agent
If you have a secret collection of "CP"
If you can only orgasm while wearing blue gloves.
If you have your very own BDSM medical scenario video library.
If you like to play preacher with little boys and girls.
If you crave sniffing old womens panties.
If you are a master of concocting lies.
If you keep a jar of KY in your work locker.
If you pave perfected the proper technique of snapping rubber gloves.
If you were bullied in highschool for being a fat ass outcast.
If you look like you would be more suited to carrying a SNAP or EBT card.
If the amount of jerrycurl you wear sets off metal detectors.
Keep it going folks.
Is TSA really 99,999 fat black folks milling about?
Sheila Jackson Lee being the one who jumped fence to join CONgress.
I don't have a lot of time these days so I'll net out. It's all about taxation. One must learn the loopholes or live life poor im such feudalistic times which historically is the norm. I know, it isn't fair but I no longer expect it to be....
You may be a terrorist if:
• You believe in the Constitution of the Republic of the United States of America, that it has withstood the test of time and trials of petty tyrants who might dream of becoming king, and that is worth fighting for, because the people are, insofar as they do not infringe on another persons rights, free:
(1) to speak their minds, to freely publish and disseminate their opinions and read those of others, to freely investigate and publish truthful accounts regarding events of interest without interference and to read those of others;
(2) to publicly or privately worship, or to not worship, the religion of their choice, there is no State religion one is requires to worship;
(3) to own, keep and bear arms for their own, individual self-defense, or to collectively defend against a tyrannical government or foreign invader;
(4) from warrant less, unreasonable, intrusive search and seizure;
(5) from self-incrimination throughout a criminal investigation, or during a trial or sentence hearing, etc.;
(6) in the privacy of their own homes to do as they wish;
(7) to petition the government for the redress of grievances without fear of retaliation (re: Retaliation, LOTUS, the supposed Constitutional SCHOLAR has not the faintest idea of what is actually written in the Constitution. That and the lack of any documented evidence, essays other papers speeches video clips, makes me question whether he ever actually attended University. Or if he did, how he ever graduated, if in fact he did graduate from any US University. It's more likely that he graduated from a madrasah, IMHO.
Correction to first sentence:
You are a terrorist if:
As far as the predators-that-be are concerned.
"Males 20-40 years old traveling together who are NOT part of a family"
How is this not a sexist guideline?
they learned all this shit from the Israelis - who go through the same fucking procedure if you show up at the airport (i) by yourself, (ii) you are between 20-40, (iii) you're male and (iv) you look like an (fucking) Arab.
I call BS. If they had learned from them, we wouldn't collectively consider them the butt of all jokes.
No, our system is nothing like the Israelis'. We are very careful not to "target" anyone. That means that our TSA torments little old ladies in wheelchairs (I've seen it; an ancient demented crippled lady made to get out of her wheelchair so they could pat her seat; she was confused and scared and in pain as a result) and nursing mothers and nuns and loads of other people who should just be left alone. The Israelis are not stupid and they are goal oriented; they only go after people whom they think are an actual problem; imagine that. Also they are very careful not to physically harass females. I wish our TSA system had half the brains of the Israeli airport security system. The Israelis are highly motivated since they do actually deal with threats; our agents are not dealing with any actual threats (just fake ones), so there are no consequences to the stupidity of their methods.
What about my lubricious nuts? Are they a red-flag?
You're gonna love my nuts! - Shamwow guy
Nazis
They're not fooling anyone anymore. Everybody around the world knows the NWO is a small group of terrorists with incredible wealth that are threatening the stability and future of the world.
I think they are fooling less and less, but we've go a long way to go before even a decent minority are aware of it.
Hopefully, critical mass is on the horizon.
I'm not holding my breath.
Shit, if pilots aren't subjected to this, it's useless!
Pilots don't need weapons; they fly the weapon.
Only sometimes. Other times the plane is controlled by folks elsewhere.
Non-interruptible auto-pilot/anti-terrorist remote control etc.
America fuck yeah, You yanks are fucked.
The trannies had a pretty good day today.
ARMED TRANNIES ATTACK THE NSA Suspects in stolen SUV attempt to ram NSA gatesThey're the only ones with the balls enough to do it LMAO
Do you have to buy a ticket for a TSA rub, and tug? Or are you more likely to get one if you show up without a ticket? I think there's a business opportunity here.
All customers for TSA, take the left line. All customers for TNA, take the right.
Will all cabin crew please place their anti-depressants in the receptacle provided at check in before boarding this flight. Thank You
I am reasonably happy when I fly out of SFO, since everyone here in the Bay Area is a fellow freak and I in no way stand out.
And I am happy flying out of Green Airport in Rhode Island, since the TSA ladies there recognize a rutabaga when they see one. I had a huge one in my carry-on (I never check luggage) since they are good and cheap in New England and costly and lousy in California. It was about the size of a human head, and waxed. I had to open my pack and it was wanded, LOL, but they did know what they were looking at. A rutabaga.
Of course, by posting here they will probably now torment me even in those airports. It's hard when you have aging parents 3000 miles away; not flying would be very hard.
So you're a terrorist if you show up clean, if you show up dirty, if you look excited, if you look bored, if you're carrying fashionable items and if you're not carrying fashionable items. Got it.
And I guess you're definitely a terrorist if you object to being herded into the delousing showers where the Zyklon B gas is stored.
"Large Sums of Monies Leaving US"
Entering? No one cares, but leaving? Oh, you better belive that's a paddlin'