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"Market Timing" Explained In 1 Cartoon

Tyler Durden's picture




 

Now, listen to business TV media for the next hour and count the number of times this logic is unleashed.

 

And in case you missed Dilbert's other market "explainers" previously, here again is technical analysis:

 

And fundamental.

 

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Mon, 03/30/2015 - 15:55 | 5943179 wee-weed up
wee-weed up's picture

Wally is my hero!

Mon, 03/30/2015 - 15:58 | 5943196 JohninMK
JohninMK's picture

Dogbert for President!

Mon, 03/30/2015 - 16:00 | 5943208 angel_of_joy
angel_of_joy's picture

Dogbert IS president !

Mon, 03/30/2015 - 16:07 | 5943233 Stackers
Mon, 03/30/2015 - 16:10 | 5943243 Uchtdorf
Uchtdorf's picture

There is no such thing as animal species extinction. There are only animals that Dogbert hasn't killed yet.

Mon, 03/30/2015 - 16:22 | 5943279 Harbanger
Harbanger's picture

Ah, now I see where you got that idea, political "satire", I didn't know Dogberts makers were American liberals,

"He has also run for President of the United States on at least two occasions as a third-party candidate, apparently losing. Dogbert appears to have sided with conservative politics, as implied during his brief tenure as a radio host. During his 2008 Presidential run, Dogbert seemed to espouse Republican political views, including a hardline on terrorism and skepticism towards global warming. Dogbert also seems to have no problem killing people."

Mon, 03/30/2015 - 17:41 | 5943545 Dead Canary
Dead Canary's picture

In this market understanding politics is more important than anything else.

Mon, 03/30/2015 - 16:19 | 5943270 Kirk2NCC1701
Kirk2NCC1701's picture

"Dogbert IS president !"

At GS. Fits him to a T.

Mon, 03/30/2015 - 16:01 | 5943212 KnuckleDragger-X
KnuckleDragger-X's picture

It would be an improvement......

Mon, 03/30/2015 - 15:58 | 5943201 green sheen
Mon, 03/30/2015 - 18:04 | 5943596 3Wishes
3Wishes's picture

Geez I miss so much vital info with my Ad blocker on !!!.

Tue, 03/31/2015 - 00:39 | 5944535 blowing winter
blowing winter's picture

I'm making over $7k a month working part time. I kept hearing other people tell me how much money they can make online so I decided to look into it. Well, it was all true and has totally changed my life. This is what I do... www.globe-report.com

Mon, 03/30/2015 - 15:55 | 5943182 SolidSnake961
SolidSnake961's picture

buy high, sell higher!!!!

Mon, 03/30/2015 - 16:06 | 5943230 Harbanger
Harbanger's picture

It's built into pleb psyche to think in a linear fashion.  They always buy only after something is peaking because they see everyone else is making money. Same thing is happening with PM's, everyone is getting turned off that bought high so that means we're hitting a bottom, they won't jump back in till it breaks the old highs and peaks again.

Mon, 03/30/2015 - 16:23 | 5943287 aVileRat
aVileRat's picture

+1

Buying dips is like learning to breathe while swimming. Your mind sees the water and every kid knows your brain panics; and you end up drinking pool (piss) water. Very zen, but it works with bench traders. If swing trading, best thing to do is turn off the green/red, or just straight up program a signal algo to take the work out of 'timing' it.

 

Mon, 03/30/2015 - 17:43 | 5943551 Oldwood
Oldwood's picture

But how else can the "market" work if people such as myself don't buy high and sell low. We ARE the market. Its always the hard sells that yield the greatest profit as we hold onto our cash highly suspectful of all of the something for nothing deals floating about. No, we wait until everyone else has bought as the ONLY truth at which time we go in big. Of course that is the signal for the market to crash and "take profits" as they like to say. This is what is supporting the stock market now. They are simply desperate to lure the holdouts back in. If they can push the recovery theme and the markets are always going up image, they assume eventually we hard cases will get back in. Its just taking a lot longer than they figured on. I'm convinced that the ONLY thing that will bring this market down is when they think they have all the money in that will ever come in. The it will be off to the next "opportunity".

Mon, 03/30/2015 - 16:29 | 5943316 Kirk2NCC1701
Kirk2NCC1701's picture

When EVERYTHING is manipulated (think GS) or controlled (think PPT), then... Abso-fracking-lutely, YES!

Note: This only works until it doesn't. If you pay attention, you may get a Heads Up from TPTB. And a Memo, if you're truly, certifiably Special.

Mon, 03/30/2015 - 15:55 | 5943187 Mike Honcho
Mike Honcho's picture

Wish my office was that wacky.

Mon, 03/30/2015 - 16:03 | 5943218 KnuckleDragger-X
KnuckleDragger-X's picture

Go to work for a venture capital firm in Silicon Valley, it's a laugh riot.....

Mon, 03/30/2015 - 15:59 | 5943198 The Shape
The Shape's picture

January production falls 135k barrels per day in January. Worst since Lehman! Or at least July 2011.

http://www.eia.gov/petroleum/supply/monthly/

Mon, 03/30/2015 - 16:09 | 5943221 29.5 hours
29.5 hours's picture

 

 

Ooh, talk about great investment trends. The experts at CNBC say:

Jumping on junk: Investors crazy for high yield bonds

It gets better. Talk about market timing...Coincidence?

"The supply of U.S. companies with junk-rated debt is rising just as investor demand for higher yields is climbing."

The journalistic brilliance get much brillianter:

" the roster would be even longer but for companies falling off the list due to reasons including filing for bankruptcy"

 

 

Mon, 03/30/2015 - 16:06 | 5943229 juicy_bananas
juicy_bananas's picture

"Well, that's the news from Lake Wobegon, where all the women are strong, all the men are good looking, and all the children are above average."

Mon, 03/30/2015 - 16:07 | 5943235 ebworthen
ebworthen's picture

The perverse truth is that most "investors" are trapped in the casino with a monthly contribution to a 401K/I.R.A. or Pension for their "Retirement" - and that money is used as lube for the HFT algo's and what's left of day traders.

Mon, 03/30/2015 - 16:27 | 5943303 Skateboarder
Skateboarder's picture

Every contributor to 401K/IRA/etc. fully expects that 'money' to be there upon their expected redemption. I don't think I have met any contributing individual who acknowledges that 'money' will be all gone.

Mon, 03/30/2015 - 18:13 | 5943623 nufio
nufio's picture

i contribute with the expectaion that it wont be there when I am 60. I plan to get the company match adn then withdraw it when i switch companies.

Mon, 03/30/2015 - 18:55 | 5943742 TheReplacement
TheReplacement's picture

You should switch soon.

Mon, 03/30/2015 - 16:31 | 5943326 dexter_morgan
dexter_morgan's picture

That's exactly the case. Can't put it in saving, just loses money there and easy to 'confiscate', and PM's is really just paper until you withdraw, and then they can make that illegal too.

All on the path to the ZWO and global legal tender currency.

Mon, 03/30/2015 - 16:22 | 5943284 Chuck DeBongo
Chuck DeBongo's picture

I would rather cut off my "baloney pony" with a rusty bread knife, than invest in the stock market right now. I don't care if this bubble still has a few years left in it before it bursts, I won't invest for 2 reasons:

 

1. Right now, we're walking the plank, blindfolded and in complete darkness. We KNOW we are going to fall into the ocean, but we don't know which will be the final step to plunge us in. I don't want to subject my capital to that kind of situation. I respect it too much.

2. The current system of finance and economics morally disgusts me. It's currently manipulated so that if we win on the stock market, the banksters win and if we lose on the stock market......the banksters still win. I don't want to be part of that! This whole system needs to collapse before something better can be built. I mean, for goodness sake! We currently have low consumer and business confidence, record debt and a seriously problematic job market....yet the stock markets are reaching record highs?! What are they smoking?! How can I honestly subject my capital to a system that defies all laws of logic?!

 

Until they sort themselves out, I'm investing in gold, silver, food and my properties. If there's one thing I like more than making money, it's being on the winning side..... ;O)

 

And remember, fellow stackers......stack it cheap, sell it high! ;O)

Mon, 03/30/2015 - 18:33 | 5943672 Whalley World
Whalley World's picture

After taking a quarter million hit on the NASDAQ in 01, I clued in the market was rigged.  Started buying gold and silver back then and still doing so. Anyone in the market without inside info will be wiped out again and act like they couldn't see it coming.  Don't be saps and get your money out of the system and into phyz.

Mon, 03/30/2015 - 18:56 | 5943747 TheReplacement
TheReplacement's picture

Yeah, no.  I'd invest in the stock market before I start deducting appendages.

Mon, 03/30/2015 - 19:39 | 5943867 Austrian Peter
Austrian Peter's picture

Agreed. It is better to return your capital than to make a return on it - in these markets anyway.  You have mentioned ALL the only investments that I know of at present except perhaps agricultural land in a secure-type location.

Mon, 03/30/2015 - 17:20 | 5943473 Losing Faith
Losing Faith's picture

The trend is your friend. Sort of.

Mon, 03/30/2015 - 18:57 | 5943751 lakecity55
lakecity55's picture

Now is a great time to invest ALL your money in stawks.

Mon, 03/30/2015 - 19:34 | 5943856 Austrian Peter
Austrian Peter's picture

Priceless

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