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"Wall Street Chief Economists" Explained For Dummies

Submitted by Tyler Durden on 04/01/2015 15:45 -0400

Nobody does it better than Dilbert...

How it begins...

Buy a new suit and Baffle with bullshit...

Know your audience...

Never admit you're wrong...

Source: Dilbert

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Wed, 04/01/2015 - 15:54 | 5949861 ymom11

So... The journalist accidentally predicted the top of the market?

Nevermind, I get it. The "market" itself is decoupled from reality.

Wed, 04/01/2015 - 15:54 | 5949871 Pladizow

Laughing as the ship sinks!

Wed, 04/01/2015 - 15:54 | 5949868 Spungo

Pretty much. It's funny to watch guys like Harry Dent and Peter Schiff argue with each other. Both are absolutely 100% convinced they are correct. I don't even think the Fed has arguments. The printing press has only 1 button.

Wed, 04/01/2015 - 17:41 | 5950293 Thirst Mutilator

Actually ~ there are 2 buttons...

1 = Meh ~ FUCK IT... We can print as much money as we want, so let's make all our fellow jews 'GAZILLIONAIRES'

2 = Oh no wait... There are some scriptures still floating around from 'LIARS' whom were multi generations before us who claimed that we were SPECIAL... It was all as much bullshit back then as it is today, but MOST still don't know it... We kinda feel sorry for holding the human population HOSTAGE in this way for the past 3,000 years, but WTF?... WE'RE RICH!!!...

If there IS a God [which we presume to be a GOLDEN CALF which we constructed 5...4...3...2... after finally being liberated from Pharoh]... The let HIM/HER presume to judge us whilst we perpetrate hoaxes towards our cause... We should start doing WHAT IS JUST... CHANGE OUR WAYS... & begin to live in harmony with fellow man...

BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! ~ What a bunch of fucking maroons!... Fuck IT!... Default to option #1

Thu, 04/02/2015 - 14:23 | 5952964 Mr. Frosty

Oh, they got an idol much better than the golden calf. The got green paper that has the magic power of "wealth." Whoever has the most green paper has the most "wealth." You can pray to this idol whenever you want, just walk into the many temples, called "banks." If the temple is closed, you can still worship by visiting a 24 hour shrine, called an "ATM."

All hail the green paper, giver of "wealth" and "prosperity"! My life for you...

Wed, 04/01/2015 - 15:57 | 5949875 Thirst Mutilator

Ben Shalom Bernanke: The new generation of 'Luciferian' Economist/Bloggers...

Where's my goddamned flying CAR(pet)!?

Wed, 04/01/2015 - 15:57 | 5949881 yogibear

Satan's soldier.

Wed, 04/01/2015 - 15:59 | 5949889 Thirst Mutilator

SOLD ~ier

fixed it!

Wed, 04/01/2015 - 15:58 | 5949883 davidalan1

This made me think of CnBc a few days ago. The powerlunch team was holding a seminar with a bunch (at least 100) of new twenty somehing rookie traders and analysts.

Part of the cast was those two bald bros. sporting pony tails. To hear these twenty somethings born in the nineties espousing their trading knowledge was breathtaking to say the least.

Wed, 04/01/2015 - 16:28 | 5950016 kchrisc

Not really funny when one considers that they are apologists for grift and grifters.

The banksters need to repay us.

And a lot of them are also "returnable."

Wed, 04/01/2015 - 16:41 | 5950063 vegas

The most popular and overused word in economics is "unexpectedly"; as in the government wants more of your money and it "unexpectedly" led to you spending less money. Fuck, imagine that - they can't.

www.traderzoo.mobi

Wed, 04/01/2015 - 17:12 | 5950170 AGuy

"unexpectedly"?

The new word is "transitory". "Transitory" provides the excuse so that economist never appear to be wrong. "Unexpectedly" makes is sound like they are clueless. I am sure the fed paid some PR company a few million to come up with "Transitory"

" government wants more of your money, but its only transitory"

The patriot act is "transitory"

the unemployment rate is transitory

Now don't you feel better? /sarc

Wed, 04/01/2015 - 21:26 | 5950943 Axenolith

There was a "transitory" event at the K/T boundary...

Thu, 04/02/2015 - 01:18 | 5951339 TheReplacement

I felt better. But it was only transitory.

Wed, 04/01/2015 - 16:48 | 5950085 pashley1411

Define the term "total fraud as an economist". without laughing - or crying

Wed, 04/01/2015 - 17:13 | 5950177 AlphaBetaCFA

Redundant

Wed, 04/01/2015 - 21:38 | 5950973 Kprime

the term economist is a fraudulent term

Thu, 04/02/2015 - 01:19 | 5951340 TheReplacement

Jim Cramer

Thu, 04/02/2015 - 01:21 | 5951342 TheReplacement

Dennis Gartman

Thu, 04/02/2015 - 01:21 | 5951343 TheReplacement

Touche'

Wed, 04/01/2015 - 16:48 | 5950095 Utah_Get_Me_2

I totally understand that and have no questions.

Wed, 04/01/2015 - 16:52 | 5950107 JustObserving

Everything about the US economy is a fraud manufactured and manipulated by a corrupt, criminal cabal at the Fed. All a US economist has to do is listen to the Fed for guidance as to where the economy will be steered and applaud the Fed for its magnificent stewardship of the economy if he wants to keep his job or appear on TV. A low IQ coupled with a low moral character are perfect qualifications for an economist today in the land of the free.

Thu, 04/02/2015 - 12:17 | 5952440 MASTER OF UNIVERSE

Our resident business school director/ex-Banker is interviewed weekly on talk-radio for parroting exactly what the CB wants parroted on a weekly basis. If he spoke out against the CB he would be summarily fired from the business school and he would never see the inside of a media studio ever again. Often I fire off email to him after he spews CB rhetoric on talk-radio. More often than not I get a response to my criticism that consists of more questions rather than answers to the questions I had proposed. In brief, Economists have learned to respond to questions with more questions rather than answers to questions that were put to them. Accounability is now out-the-window and transparency rules the day with the addition of more questions rather than answers to questions.

Wed, 04/01/2015 - 17:13 | 5950175 Dapper Dan

You can not consume something that has not been made.

Andrew J. Galambos

http://peacerevolution.podomatic.com/entry/2014-11-21T06_02_35-08_00

http://voluntaryist.com/howibecame/boren.html#.VRxa2yx0xjp

http://www.capitalismtheliberalrevolution.com/

http://www.fei-ajg.com/index.html

Wed, 04/01/2015 - 17:13 | 5950176 RealistDuJour

At least we know Dilbert didn't push the 2 worst investments of the decade, gold and bitcoin! Oh wait, how could I post such heresy on Zerohedge, where the motto has been, is, and always will be "Losing you money faster than the market, and ensuring you stay on the sidelines! Buy gold!"

Wed, 04/01/2015 - 21:20 | 5950928 Axenolith

My PM buys are still well north of 100% gain over my purchase prices, and they paid a FAT dividend, sleeping soundly at night...

Thu, 04/02/2015 - 01:24 | 5951346 TheReplacement

You can stand in the pan and hope you don't get burned or you can stay out and not get burned. That fire thing means you will get burned in the pan or the person holding it will flip you out straight into the fire. In the market means out of control. Holding what you think makes you wealthy makes you wealthy be it gold or family or any other tangible thing. What do you hold?

Wed, 04/01/2015 - 17:15 | 5950189 DaveA

As Harry Truman once cried out in frustration, "Someone find me a one-handed economist!"

Wed, 04/01/2015 - 17:21 | 5950214 SIOP

Reminds me of "Chauncey Gardiner" in the movie "Being There".

Wed, 04/01/2015 - 19:31 | 5950641 btdt

" I like to watch "

Thu, 04/02/2015 - 00:11 | 5951275 armageddon addahere

Dilbert taking an interest in the economy must be a sign of something.

"Wall Street Chief Economists" Explained For Dummies

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