Russian Government Hacked White House Computer System, CNN Reports

Tyler Durden's picture

Update: even the White House appears embarrassed by this "report." According to Bloomberg, the CNN report that Russia breached the White House computer system is "speculating on the attribution of the activity of concern on the unclassified" White House network that was “disclosed last year,” NSC spokesperson Mark Stroh says."This report is not referring to a new incident." Stroh says in e-mail statement.

* * * * *


A few months ago, Sony used a ridiculous "hacking" publicity stunt to generate some $40 million more in revenues for what would otherwise have been the latest Seth Rogen "comic" flop, in which the film agency blamed North Korea - which has about ten ultramodern 80386 computers in the entire country - for hacking its firewall, a hack which was subsequently revealed to be the result of disgruntled former employee. Fast forward to today, when moments ago CNN reported that Russian hackers which according to left "tell-tale codes and other markers that they believe point to hackers working for the Russian government", had penetrated the White House computer system.

Of course, reading beyond just the first paragraph reveals that this was anything but an actual hack: as CNN reports, "the White House has said the breach only ever affected an unclassified system." So anyone could have accessed it really. But for the sake of the second cold war let's make it seem that Vladimir Putin has nothing better to do than to sift through Obama's golfing schedule and discover what his true handicap is. Although it's clearly time to declare war on Syria's Assad in retaliation.

The humor continues:

The hackers had access to sensitive information such as real-time non-public details of the president's schedule. While such information is not classified, it is still highly sensitive and prized by foreign intelligence agencies, U.S. officials say.

It is also, well, public. It was unclear if Putin is now also in possession of Obama's real birth certificate.

It gets better.

To get to the White House, the hackers first broke into the State Department, investigators believe.


The State Department computer system has been bedeviled by signs that despite efforts to lock them out, the Russian hackers have been able to reenter the system. One official says the Russian hackers have "owned" the State Department system for months and it is not clear the hackers have been fully eradicated from the system

It is settled then: (and was more secure than the State Department. And to think people made fun of Hillary for taking the "less safe" route..

As in many hacks, investigators believe the White House intrusion began with a phishing email that was launched using a State Department email account that the hackers had taken over, according to the U.S. officials.

As in "click here if you want to add 7 inches to your penis..." or to download a free torrent of The Interview.

Director of National Intelligence James Clapper, in a speech at an FBI cyberconference in January, warned government officials and private businesses to teach employees what "spear phishing" looks like.


"So many times, the Chinese and others get access to our systems just by pretending to be someone else and then asking for access, and someone gives it to them," Clapper said.

So all it takes to penetrate what should be the safest, and most protected computer system in the world is a phishing email. Check.

It gets even better:

The ferocity of the Russian intrusions in recent months caught U.S. officials by surprise, leading to a reassessment of the cybersecurity threat as the U.S. and Russia increasingly confront each other over issues ranging from the Russian aggression in Ukraine to the U.S. military operations in Syria.


The attacks on the State and White House systems is one reason why Clapper told a Senate hearing in February that the "Russian cyberthreat is more severe than we have previously assessed."

Yes, because only ferocious Russian hackers working directly for Vladimir Putin (according to "tell-tale" codes which experienced Russian hackers leave all the time) were capable enough of sending phushing emails to state department employees.

But the best part is that, supposedly, the evil, ferocious Russian hackers were first identified in October. Apparently it took 6 months, and a Clinton email server scandal to redirect public attention from her personal email server to that of the United States itself.

The White House in October said it noticed suspicious activity in the unclassified network that serves the executive office of the president. The system has been shut down periodically to allow for security upgrades.


The FBI, Secret Service and U.S. intelligence agencies are all involved in investigating the breach, which they consider among the most sophisticated attacks ever launched against U.S. government systems. ?The intrusion was routed through computers around the world, as hackers often do to hide their tracks, but investigators found tell-tale codes and other markers that they believe point to hackers working for the Russian government. A spokesman for the National Security Council declined to comment.

And the punchline: "the Russian embassy did not respond to a request for comment."

Why, were they too busy laughing at this idiocy?

Then again, in retrospect this is par for the course for a country which is now officially preparing to blame the next market rash on, drumroll, "Russian spies."

Comment viewing options

Select your preferred way to display the comments and click "Save settings" to activate your changes.
agent default's picture

I have a very hard time telling the difference between CNN and /b/ lately.

Usurious's picture
Usurious (not verified) agent default Apr 7, 2015 4:30 PM

u mean (PNN) Pentagon Network News???..............

BKbroiler's picture

I think the Russian troll army spends an inordinate amount of time on ZH.  And have posting rights.

Usurious's picture
Usurious (not verified) BKbroiler Apr 7, 2015 4:42 PM

I look at it as an antidote to the ZioCon MSM propaganda

wee-weed up's picture

Hopefully the Ruskies can find out where Obozo was REALLY born and who his REAL father was.

kowalli's picture

he is a nigger, that's all.

jaap's picture

A reverse lookup showed that the source was a .mil domain.


Publicus's picture

World War 3 here we come. God willing I shall see you all on the other side.

Latina Lover's picture

No real proof will be offered since the USSA always lies us into wars.  Having said this, this 'incident' is likely more CNN /White House BS to push CISPA and/or Internet Censorship.

knukles's picture

And these are the same folks who want to be in charge of your cyber security.
Mind boggling

nope-1004's picture

OMG, the Russians are coming!  First it was Al Qaeda.  Then ISIS.  Now Russians.  Please Mr. (grossly incompetent) Government, take my rights and protect me.  Muchos muchos,



Latina Lover's picture

Yeah, I also smell the stink of another USSA false flag designed to take away more of our rights. Fuck these fascists and their relentless war on our rights!

knukles's picture

Don't forget the NORKS and remember the Maine!

the phantom's picture

I stopped reading after "CNN reports"

BuddyEffed's picture

If the White House got hacked, chances are the moniker of the perps started with that same letter R, but it is much moar likely it was the Republicans using a Trojan (horse).

BKbroiler's picture

40 downvotes?  Oh noes!  That's ok, I'll even help you guys out with a database to source from when you do your putin sponsored trolling:



Automatic Choke's picture

keep is a badge of honor to get 100 downvotes in this crowd.....

Anusocracy's picture

Perhaps you should find a nice government run neocon site and go there.

You would be happy if you were with clueless meat-puppets.

chunga's picture

 i'd suggest

They're still pining for the reagan days...and "bombing begins in 5 minutes"...for every last thing

Manthong's picture

Well F me..

SOMBODY needs to bring this criminal administration to account

since the negligent Congress of the United States and the Supreme Court of the United States won’t.

Gaius Frakkin' Baltar's picture

Must be funding season for the NSA and cyber "patriots". Hamburglar up there has kids to feed.

A Nanny Moose's picture

In Soviet USSA, the White House penetrates you.

CapnJackDaniel's picture

Look fuckers. Saddam scared you all a treat, so did Al Qaeda, until it didn't, You barely flinched at ISIS and you didn't notice when we changed it to DAESH. So we're wheeling out the Russians, that worked pretty well back in the day. Now you fuckers better start acting scared, hand us the fucking keys to the kingdom, or we'll wheel out a CONUS terror incident that'll make your fucking hair curl. Time to remind you who's in charge, got it?

Divine Wind's picture




Could this be the reason it was recently decided that cyber attacks can trigger a NATO Article 5 collective response?

angel_of_joy's picture

That would be a fatal mistake. Article 5 makes a prime target of anybody pertaining to NATO. Yes, it's that stupid... Let's go to "nucular" war because of Lithuania !

Thirst Mutilator's picture

Yeah, but if we're supposed to be busy fighting the Russians, who are we gonna team up with to stop the asteroid from hitting the Earth?


Full Fucking Retard Society

Volkodav's picture


they actually ran a poll asking if Putin is the antichrist...


Max Steel's picture

Whatever unrelated rubbish youre posting in threads is called trolling . You can come up with tireless naratives . Truth isnt by your side now . US is a threat to world peace . 

Donatan's picture

BKbroiler you're too stupid even by russophob standards, go check for Putin maybe he is under your bed, dont forget the locker too

Automatic Choke, that's right boy, tap yourself on the back

BKbroiler's picture








Funny how almost all of your accounts were started a year ago or less.  trolls.

Anusocracy's picture

The simple fact is that the US government is the worst and most evil government on earth. Bar none.

That doesn't have anything to do with accounts.

Donatan's picture

Not only are you not witty but you're also not funny, 2/10 for effort. Did you find Putin btw? (little secret between you and me but when it comes to that Putin troll army you should especially be careful with cavalry... Cossaks can be nasty too)

aVileRat's picture

All you need to know:

The open java holes in ZH's sidebars/adspace allows for easy tracking in case the standard troll narratives of ZOG/Pro-RUS+CZ and bad english wasn't a cluein. One of the cybershops had a fun statistic that 40% of internet comment traffic is now paid bot or psyops. So take this for what you will and keep posting on ZH. We're all better for it Butch, its what your good at.




TheFourthStooge-ing's picture


One of the cybershops had a fun statistic that 40% of internet comment traffic is now paid bot or psyops.

Never thought about who is paying for it all? No, of course you didn't.

Donatan's picture

No thats not all you need know, the fact that you post a story invented by US government funded Radio Free Europe and repeated over and over ever since Snowden revelaed US trolls is what you need to know and we all know that Pentagon funded media is a trustworthy one. As for psyop bots Zerohedge has the real sotry from wikileaks

"One of the cybershops had a fun statistic that 40% of internet comment traffic is now paid bot or psyops" so what, are you dumb? Nevermind, rhetorical question. Advertising bots have been a huge part of internet since the 90s. "my moms uncle earns 5000$ from home, click here if you..."  Did you know that 8.5% of wikipedia articles was written by ONE bot

UK and US both have their troll depratments, once it got completely revealed as afact in Snowden docs they inverted the story about Russians.

Good ol tactics, accuse your enemy of what you are doing. Hey remember how US accused China of literally doing everything that was revealed in Snowden docs that US is doing.

Even funnier, before publishing US gov. propaganda Guardian published about US gov trolls back in 2011

"The open java holes in ZH's sidebars/adspace allows for easy tracking in case the standard troll narratives" you obviously know nothing about what you are talking about, as for tracking, if the story that Guardian republished from RFE (for nth time) was actually true they could easilly prove it by revealing how many IPs come from Russia, but of course they will not bcz its bullshit, they once used to have a little flag next to a name where it would show where you are from but they removed it, and no you cant hide it, if you use proxies they will know, and if you use Tor they know, so if majority of pro-Rus comments are from tor and proxies there is your proof, even better, but we all know its bullshit, it's the opposite :)

"and bad english wasn't a cluein", your English is pretty crappy. Wait is everyone in the world a native English speaker or just less than 6% of world population? A shocker, I know. (nevermind the kind of English that US youth uses on twitter)

"So take this for what you will and keep posting on ZH" I take it that you are quite obviously a moron

TeamDepends's picture

Nah, Boehner is not that suave. This smells like the work of Carlos Danger!

TheFourthStooge-ing's picture

Ah, I see you also read this article about the West's troll temper tantrum:

Fun Facts's picture

"I stopped reading after "CNN reports"

Wolf Blitzer former AIPAC lobbyist and editor of the Jerusalem post at "ZNN reports"

ZerOhead's picture

"The hackers had access to sensitive information such as real-time non-public details of the president's schedule."

Well if Obama is assassinated at any of these events at least we'll know exactly who did it...

Son of Loki's picture

There'll be pristine Russkie passports laying all over the place so we'll exactly who did it!

ZerOhead's picture

It certainly won't be the friends of President Joe Biden...

Augustus's picture

No real proof will be offered that you are not a Paid Puutie Puppy propagandist.

Having said this, I would expect that even Puutie would find a better idiot troll for the work.

angel_of_joy's picture

There will be no potato for you, no matter how hard you try. Now, buzz off!

Augustus's picture


I thought you died when my dog licked his nuts.

angel_of_joy's picture

Lame ! As said before, you're just too dumb to qualify for potatoes. Even trolls need to meet some minimal standards... and you don't !