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"Strong Apple Watch Debut" - Media Propaganda Edition
In addition to the unprecedented $50 billion stock buyback announcement by GE earlier today, the biggest news of the day is the Apple iWatch launch. Or, rather, biggest dud. It all really depends on who you ask.
Here is Reuters:
And here is Bloomberg:
As for the actual eyewitness truth, and the reason why everyone who took AAPL from $100 to $130 on hopes that the "New Paranormal" Casio will be the greatest thing since sliced bread, here it is.
Scene @Apple Store 5th Ave., NY It's quiet as it should be. Ppl can see #applewatch today but can't get em yet. pic.twitter.com/5Dx8WUMEGy
— Ed Baig (@edbaig) April 10, 2015
A line of OVER A DOZEN PEOPLE queueing for the Apple store to open. Might it be the new revolutionary watch thing? pic.twitter.com/AB4PjAz5iP
— Marco Fontani (@mfontani) April 10, 2015
No line in Front of the Apple Store, and no new MacBooks either. Four Apple watches in a cloud of 40 people, though.. pic.twitter.com/tJSfJMoxjc
— Philipp Engel (@nosyjoe) April 10, 2015
? ????????? ??????? ?? ???????? ????????? ? Apple Watch ?? @VOOK64: Line at the Apple Store to see the watch pic.twitter.com/oivDtyJ7k1
— Aleksey Sergeev (@alekseysergeev) April 10, 2015
Surprisingly short line for the Apple Watch in front of the Apple Store at IFC in Hong Kong (845am local time): pic.twitter.com/7k1Xg72tjr
— Dr. Serkan Toto (@serkantoto) April 10, 2015
There they are... #AppleWatch #Apple #watch #hannover only 10 min to go. No lines! pic.twitter.com/IZMWk8iUCQ
— Ric Ferrer (@ricferrer) April 10, 2015
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chip under the skin
Ya think the low turnout has something to do with it being so gay!?
And soooooo fucking hipster.
Ya think the widget being so gay has something to do with the boss being so gay?
- former Apple apologist
Gaypple
With a crowd like that ya'd think it was a Hillary campaign speech
Or a modern day Obama speech.
Must be like when Earnhardt ate shit to the race nation without Jobs to rally the mass cool.
i-diots
My old Rolex is better
It should be pointed out to people calling Bitcoiners "iTards" etc, that Apple has been one of the biggest antagonists against Bitcoin. So if you hate Bitcoin, you are in good company with Apple!
https://btc-e.com
New iwatch marketing slogan: "The i-watch, a Solution Looking for a Problem"
Remember 30 years ago when Casio put a calculator on its watch? REVOLUTIONARY. I mean, you could do your math from your wrist. Imagine that.
Of course, calculators haven't gone anywhere, but placing the gimmick on your wrist sure did. Cell phones are here to stay. Idiot-watch, not so much.
Wow.
Look at all the know-nothing-Fucktards come crawling out of the woodwork...
I know I will stick to my Citizen ProMaster that I don't have to worry about breaking or replacing a battery for quite some time.
I think that is knowing enough about the function of a watch to know that it should be durable, because I don't live in a cubicle like the tools and douchebags that buy this shit.
iFlop
i like idiot. Brilliant. Never heard that before. You should patent it. Apple was even granted a patent for the page flipping animation, so you should be able to qualify easily for one.
Go ahead and make up shit as you need to. It's the ZH way.
You know, I don't even like the guy that you responded too, but I dislike generalizations that include me without specificity even more.
In the real world, it is possible to give props to a douche for calling a douche a douche, ya know.
IWatch very stupid people squinting trying to read a very tiny screen.
"Total ignorance can actually be presented in a very smart-looking package"- Me
great quote.
Is that the motto of the US State Department? If so they need to work on the package.
Heard TAG is making one that is better...
Gadgets, gadgets, gadgets, they must keep buying gadgets to keep the stock up!
I still have the Samsung S3 and the 6 comes out this week and I don't give a shit.
Forget TAG, Casio has the real goods:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3WOTuiBG9zg
I have always wondered what the likelihood is, that the developers are actually updating the phones with software that is meant to make them run slower and burn their battery even faster to generate sales.
It has to be greater than zero.
Sooo... The Battery Will Last You Until Lunch, If Your Lucky...
Garmin Fenix 3, Bitchez!
If I leave it in watch mode the battery will last several weeks. With GPS and Bluethooth running off and on during a normal day, I can easily get more than a week out of one charge. Just a really functional peice of gear that does what it is supposed to (awesome multi-sport fitness tracker, navigation features, tells the time and even looks like a man's watch-nothing against gay hipster watches, just not for me)
And, no, I do not work for Garmin, and I am not pimping/trolling for them. Just one of the few peices of tech gear that I have ever purchased that actually works as advertised and is not just a bunch of marketing hype and BS.
So Apple's solution to Android having the widget functionality that iOS doesn't is to sell you an overpriced watch with widgets of limited functionality???
Oh, they have solved that problem. They have installed a small generator inside the "watch", that is turned by a small "knob" on the side of the "watch".
What will they think of next?!!
How many Bazooka Joe wrappers is that Dick Tracy gizmo gonna set me back?
OT: LOL ~ Apple trumps Hillary 2016 announcement
http://www.msn.com/en-us/news/politics/exclusive-hillary-clinton-to-laun...
All those greenshoots must be Apple trees.
Spoof: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yioL7MRQvHM
Even funnier: "Titanic's maiden voyage began shortly after noon on this date 10 April 1912"
Buy a gold one, for the gold!
Let it be proclaimed for all time, that ON THIS DAY, April 10... The following 3 events occured (& will therefore be inexcorably linked):
- Apple iWatch launch
- Hillary Clinton 2016 campaign launch
- Titanic maiden voyage launch
U cant make this stuff up! lulz
Bleck...Hillary the Inevitable.
They were showing polling numbers over the weekend that claim she is beating every current and potential Republican candidate.
I know, doesn't really matter which team jersey the new boss wears.
But, c'mon, could y'all be a little less obvious?
My husband even commented that with Jeb, Chelsea, etc. the two can just continue to tag team.
& the lizard procreation chain continues...
Hell ~ It's prolly about time for Chelsea to pop out a puppy that has an uncanny resemblance to Webb Hubbell...
Barf
About the red team: http://www.snopes.com/politics/military/stevens.asp#7wRwRl4pyhMFlshz.99
If Hillary even gets close to being president, it is time to just STFU and move because the US is official cooked.
not happening. I proclaim I will castraite myself if she does. I am that sure that cantankerous twat will not get elected.
Titanic sinking paved the way to FED establishment and subsequently WW1 followed by WW2
Clinton will preside during WW3
"Even funnier: "Titanic's maiden voyage began shortly after noon on this date 10 April 1912"
Ever heard the theory that JP Morgan sunk the Titanic to take out his competition?
Yes ~ JP Morgan = Larry Silverstein
I still like some few products from Apple, but I do find it strange how often I'm asked: "Gosh! You still have that oldest version?". And this in Europe, mind you
on the other side, recently Apple flopped catastrophically with too many things, imho. as much as the newer Kindles, which seem to become less and less what readers want
but be serious: despite the stock valuation, it's still a company that seems to attract the ire of many just because it symbolizes a "Latte and hipster" lifestyle
and we encounter even here enough real damn political propaganda, the "real McCoy" of propaganda, to call commercial PR this way. just my two cents
including that if you buy them on credit... and the newest one, again on credit... and then the newest one, again on credit... then you might want to pause and reflect
No Jobs or jobs.
The Kindle White Paper (their cheapest offering) is pretty good, but who in the hell reads anymore? I own one, but I'm an ZHer, so it's obvious that I likely would be one of the few people that still read.
Must watch...
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yioL7MRQvHM
No, I think it has everything to do with Apple announcing that there won't be any in-store sales for the watches. So, people can't wait in line and walk home with one to play with. Therefore, no lines
And it's too fucking small.
It will be a disaster for Apple
Wudda you mean my Apple watch won't work with my Samsung phone?
Apple's watch is TWO generations behind the curve of current offerings within the marketplace. That might be part of the problem.
Then again, never under estimate the stupidity of herd mentality and cult-like behaviour. www.youtube.com/watch?v=8AyVh1_vWYQ
Especially when the herd is gay hipsters..
Most gays don't have a nickel to rub between their cheeks
Actually I believe the gay demographic is fairly well off.
I will buy one of these when I can speak into it and a 1982 Trans Am comes and saves my ass.
"KITT, meet me around the back of the bar and do it quietly."
pods
I'm holding out for a 1970 Trans Am, preferably a Ram Air IV.
'70 AMX dude...
'69 Buick GSX Stage 2
Guy I went to high school picked up a mint 70 GS455 Stage I from, get this, a "little old lady" he did work for.
pods
That's a cool car. In tenth grade, I had a friend that picked me up in a hot rod '69 Camaro which was the 2nd fastest car in the town. There was a GSX that was faster and could leave grooves in the street.
My older brother had a 69 SS Camaro convertible. It was a bit rough, but fast.
The GS had a lot of HP, but couldn't handle it on the start. Sharp looking car though.
pods
Man you guys are old as dirt.
I prefer Toyota Supras and huge turbos.
I have an affinity for both new and old. Is all cool stuff.
Supras are impossible to find these days. Those cars are incredible. In my day, the Buick Grand National was the Corvette killer with it's turbo 231 ci V6. Minor mods and that thing was an outright animal.
I'm not old, but my taste in cars is.
The cars I was talking about were out before I was born.
Newer classics I would say the Nissan 300zx (1990's one) or Supras.
I once took a Toyota MR2 Turbo (mid 90s) for a ride, it was quicker than the Supra twin turbo. Mid engine and that thing flew.
pods
Mach1 428 cj
I have a 70 Mach 1 at home. 351w though.
71 mach1 351 c what I got now , but miss the cj
I used to have a Ram Air III...the 454 is soooo expensive.
You can only dream of having Hassellhoff's hair and leather jackets.
Didn't he have a Members Only jacket?
Those were so bitchin'
Hollywood bought all the remaining new old stock of Members Only.
I'd rather leave KITT and have the Knight Rider hottie meet me round the back of the bar. KITT can play fiddle with his I-knight 2000 for all the £&%# I care! He can keep the watch too, I'll be too busy :-)
K.A.R.R is smarter than K.I.T.T
KARR has been heard saying: "I have checked my data on basic human desires, therefore i understand your needs. You wish to eat. You wish to drink. You wish to reproduce. Which one first?"
How is this thing supposed to be better than the Android Wear watch. My brother-in-law was showing off his Wear a couple months ago and I found it underwhelming. They'd better hope the herd thing works for them. I for one will keep my watch sefely in my phone in my pocket like the good Lord intended it.
It is probably VERY quiet this morning at Apple HQ.
This brings to mind the Six Phases of a Project
momma said stupid is as stupid does
The Icheese straightner will have NSA back door access too
The Apple iWatch will go down in history as the last token from the 'great period of over consumerism'. In the future as students peruse their history books on this chapter we are living now, long after we are dead, there will be a small photo of the golden iWatch.
Apple almost went bankrupt the last time they had something like this flop.
While I can't stand the fan club, Job's was a genius with making products that were worth buying.
For some reason I dont think photos will exists or books or people or planet earth.
But its good to be optimistic. Like the big bang theory, something out of nothing that so happened to become a bunch of matter, through chaos a universe and in that universe stars and solar systems and around those stars and within those solar systems formed planets and some of those planets just happen to revolve around those stars at the exact distance to create evolve and sustain life, that happens to have DNA that passes on coding instructions that blueprint blah blah, then along comes a bang and a poof and we have a fucking iWatch.
Despite the fact that the watch itself is crap, the "Apple Gold" is a fascinating material.
Apple has created a Gold/ceramic composite that is harder and more scratch resistant than standard metallic gold.
Metal Matrix Composite (MMC) gold with B4C particles sintered within:
http://leancrew.com/all-this/2015/03/apple-gold/
For what it's worth, that's pretty cool.
nice of them to only charge $10K for an ounce of modified gold -- they'll even throw in a $300 watch!
don't worry, sheeple will max their creditcard to buy the useless thing whatever happens
I'd rather sleep in.
I'm going to wait until next year when they come out with one more line of dots on the face.
Or maybe the year after when they have one fewer line?
pods
next year's slightly thinner and lighter watch is gona be HUGE
I would prefer to sleep out!
Who needs bread and circuses when one has Apple?
Why would I want a watch dangling from my wrist where I can bang it into stuff and break it when I have a cell phone that can do the same things, has a bigger screen, and can be safely tucked away from the elements and from banging it against things? Maybe I'm an old fart, but I don't get why anyone would want this product. I predict its sales will greatly underwhelm.
Precisely why my wife buys me $50 polished SS Fossil watches at Target; I bang it against shit all the time during the day. Tells time, looks decent, and if I smash it or scrape it up, just toss and replace. No need to smash a smartphone or ding up the expensive watches that get worn a handful of times per year.
IT'S A FREAKING WATCH!!!
Sometime in the near future...
In order to stimulate sales of the Apple Watch, Apple has announced its latest iOS update will remove the clock and Apple iTunes will restrict all clock/watch applications from being downloaded on its devices...oh, except for the new Apple Watch.
It's a fucking "watch" people. Even the fan boys aren't excited about a stoopid watch. Apple has definitely jumped the shark on this one. Apple, the new Microsoft.
I hate to say it, but the word did pop into my head. Microsoft constantly churned software to push you forward to benefit them with repeat sales for dubious "upgrades" along with benefitting their partners with hardware sales. Apple's strong point that really turned their sales was a better designed and intuitive OS with a machine that was easy to use and and had good integration and plug and play features. Their choice of Bell Lab's UNIX as the underlying OS (Apple's Darwin), and the switch to Intel processors was an excellent choice. But as with anything like this, sooner or later you arrive at your destination after the large improvements (same as with the iPhone), and the next set of improvements offer far less. Then it becomes tedious, and carries little productivity gain. Bloatware appears, and even sometimes backwards "progress", like iPhoto and iMovie which was, in my opinion poorly executed. Even iTunes used to be better. Lots of bugs now appear in new releases, an Apple "first". That they wanted to turn your desktop into a phone was the last straw for me. After first getting a call from by brother-in-law, that his laptop stopped working after upgrading to Yosemite, then my own kid's Mac mini (both required RAM upgrades to return the performance to previous levels), I realized that it was time to get off the train. As an old fart that played WoW, I had to stop that subscription, as Apple just dumped support for Mountain Lion, shutting down WoW, and my only upgrade choice (because I also skipped Mavericks) is now the newest "phone OS": Yosemite. No thanks. When I sadly cancelled, I mentioned to the WoW rep that if they ever decide to support Linux, count me in, and I got an enthusiastic response that just about everyone there was onboard with that idea. Linux strongest point: YOU own the computer you pay for, not somebody else. Apple has switched from being customer driven to being revenue driven. That will now do them in, just like it did to Microsoft.
"Apple has switched from being customer driven to being revenue driven. That will now do them in, just like it did to Microsoft."
And they're building the Taj Mahal HQ to end ALL Taj Mahal HQ's. That's an old Silly Valley tradition, and a major sign that a company is just about to bite the big one.
Those 2000 iMacs were screaming! I always wanted the green one, but settled for a shitty greystone Compaq instead at CompUSA.
God - those were the good ole days when you could order dogfood from pets.com on your Compaq - shit from shit ordered on shit!
Kubuntu Linux looks and feels a lot like Windoze XP, while Ubuntu looks and feels like a Mac OS.
Kubuntu runs much faster than Ubuntu (was the only acceptable option for my old Pentium4)
They've lost their design edge too. I was in Best Buy to pick up a landline phone last week and the Samsung guy had a "6" phone. I got a good look at it and handled it - it makes an iPhone 6 look like a 55 chevy. And the syling of the Apple Watch fits right in with that.
Their best product is their laptops, especially the "Air" but everyone's catching up or caught up -- and that's design was from the Jobs era.
Oh snap! Was that today? Forgot to put Apple watch buying time on my to do list.
I smell an Atari-style demise. Lets hope it's quicker.
Epic Fail 2.0
Timmy needs to focus on fixing their OS and not chasing young boys in Thailand by enticing them with epic fail gold Apple watches.
ANYONE taking time off work to see a watch is a fucking IDIOT and should be fired as soon as said fucktard walks back in to work.
i REEAAAALLLLY hope those people were paid to stand in line
If Asians aren't interested in this (they are not) EPIC, EPIC Apple fail on deck.
Samsung is kicking Tim Cook in his homosexual AIDs infested nuts.
Once I had a phone that told time, I didn't need a watch.
the watch makes you invisible, hence we can't see all the dumbasses who bought them
+1
I quite appreciate the fact people are glued to their phones permanently. I can go though downtown on a busy day, ride buses for hours and not be seen by a single human being. Used to need a gadget to tune out. Now I remove all gadgets to get the same feeling.
I wear an old Soviet Red Army officer's watch, it can keep time for close to 12 hours before I have to manually wind it back up again so it outperforms the iWatch in that regard. Unlike the iWatch mine has gold numbers and arms too and as an added bonus mine dosn't spy on me (even though it is Soviet).
Love it! In Soviet Russia, you look at watch. In USSA, watch looks at you.
+1 that's a good one!
it reminds me this vintage (1987) Smirnoff joke:
"We have no gay people in Soviet Russia—there are homosexuals but they are not allowed to be gay about it. The punishment is seven years locked in prison with other men and there is a three-year waiting list for that."
oh, but wait... there is no Soviet in Russia anymore
I was channeling him writing that...Smirnoff could probably do his whole OLD act in reverse these days.
I remember an old Smirnoff joke....in America you have American Express...dont leave home without it...was the tag line...In Russia we have Russia Express...dont leave home was its tag line....
in 2012, Smirnoff had a new, very interesting joke:
"I enjoy being in America: it's fun, you know, because you have, you have so many things we never had in Russia—like warning shots."
Is 2012 a far, far past, nowadays?
"In Russia, president assasinates you."
Comment of the Day!
+1
The wearing of a watch symbolizes that your time (and thus, your life) belongs to someone else. if you own your own life, YOU DON'T NEED TO KNOW WHAT TIME IT IS.
Think about it.
Not married yet?
Ha! Got me. Yes, I'm married, and yes, on that level, I am a slave. My wife makes me come home by approximately 6PM, regardless of whether I am done with whatever I am doing or not. But my circadian rhythm is sufficient for this, and, I get the advantage (by not wearing a watch) of saying, "But... I lost track of time!" when I do come in late for supper.
Thought about it.
Don't wear a watch.
My time does not belong to me and I do not mind it one bit. It was given to me.
Think about it.
Then you owe it back to the One who gave it to you. Service to others is the greatest privilege.
eh, but what if you need to know the time... for yourself?
Yeah, who wears a watch. And a gay watch. It'd be more relevant to today's American people if Apple marketed an iButtplug.
imWatching will be required of all consumers to keep the NSA informed. It's for your own protection against man made catastrophes. That and so the gubment can blackmail you of course...
Who wants to look at something they can't have? That'd be like pornography!
OMG, Apple is Doomed, DOOMED!!
How many times have we heard this over the years? Haters got to hate.
Caught on the long side of shit I see. You should have loaded up on PM last night after yesterdays FED shorting monkey hammer.
One day, you fan boys will recognize that you were were in the short end of what id possibly the greatest scam ever.
They fleece you like shearing fucking retarded sheep.
I know you cant see it, but that doesn't change facts that the rest of us, a little more worldly wise, can see a fucking mile away.
Its a multi hundred billion $ scam you retard, Its not about hate, per se, its about understanding what it is. and if it wasn't a fucking despicable scam far less would be bitching at the fucking bunch of banker and wall st inspired crooks.
Got in line boy, go get your Chinese tat and strap it to your dick if it turns you on. Just make sure you overpay for the privilege like every other half wit fanboy
I'd rather have a box of Padrons than a goddamn Apple product.
I'd rather pull my finger nails out one by one slowly.
Looks like the new Apple policy of discouraging line-ups outside the stores for new product launches is a success!
We will hear shortly about massive online sales and bad weather.
It's all about saving time .... not standing in line .... the watch is for affluent adults .... silly wabbit !
I'd say Cartier and Rolex are for affluent adults.
Come to think of it, other than Mrs. Silencer, I don't know anyone that wears a watch...and she wears Cartier.
I saw the interior of this Apple device a few months back. The circuitry and miniturization is pretty amazing, but the device itself is useless. Why anyone would want this device strapped to their body - as it reads your physical data and transmits it - is beyond me.
Another surveillance item that will eventually lead to cancer. No thanks.
No matter how dismal sales are Apple will claim that its a HUGE success. I predict stores will mysteriously run out of in 3,2,1......
WTF Apple had this years ago. It was called the MACtini then and now they think that putting it on your wrist is some kind of revolution? sarc//
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7Gl4pREae1w
It's so gay, consider the source.
The idiotWatch is a trinket for gay people that have so much money they don't know what else to spend it on.
When will they release the I-Buttplug?
watches are made in switzerland
for example:
http://www.iwc.com/en-us/
Apple needs to make a lot of Money so Timmy can donate all of his to his lefty gay groups....we need more GAY..and cowbell....and this watch is very Gay...Its funny to watch the religious ferver with Apple...its all the talk on CNBC....its a joke how much pull Apple has...they are just a toy maker....
All I can think is that those that are excited to get this watch have very little going in in their lives...they should have a baby instead.
Better for the economy today and in the future.
Forget this iWatch crap. If you want a beautiful digital watch check out the Casio Protrek PRW 3500 1JF.
Casio are making some unbelievable digital watches these days.
None of which report to the NSA.
Zero Hedge professes to be all about the free market, but it is green with envy that Apple manages to - time after time - defy the growing narrative of a weakening economy.
Keep Hope Alive, buddy. Keep on truckin...
"Zero Hedge professes to be all about the free market, but it is green with envy that Apple manages to - time after time - defy the growing narrative of a weakening economy."
Where would apple be today without the expansion of consumer credit? How many billions ($) of Apple products are banks carrying on their balance sheets?
You do realize that when all the companies stop buying their own stocks the game is over. You must be friends with Million Dollar Bonus.
In IDC's forecast for 2018, note that Android actually loses market share and sinks to 77.6% of the market. But that occurs after Android adds about 404 million phones, while Apple adds only 63 million — and its share sinks to 13.7%. Apple doesn't gain share — it merely loses it to Microsoft's Windows, a humbling irony, at least in the IDC scenario. Granted this is old news and just phone related ? http://www.businessinsider.com/iphone-v-android-market-share-2014-5
But you already know that's Putin's fault.