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What Happens When A Russian Surface-To-Air Missile Launch Goes Horribly Wrong
Shortly after Russia announced early last week that it would take advantage of the lifting of the Iran sanctions and proceed to deliver an unknown number of S-300 "defensive" surface-to-air missiles, the Kremlin sought to reassure Israeli Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu that any deliveries of these to Iran will not threaten Israel's security.
Judging by the following video which captures what happens when a launch of a S-300 SAM goes horribly wrong (and the immediate stunned aftermath), he may very well be right.
That, or the Russian troops were simply showcasing what will happen one day when no amount of Mario Draghi threats can push the EURUSD higher any longer.
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Translation: "You flaccid bitch!!!"
Russian flag very prominently inline with "failed" launch.
Hmm.
result: them lot having a great laugh at it.
Russian missiles only work when shooting down airliners. Duh.
/s
I'm pretty sure that Stuxnet got in their launch control system. It doesn't matter anyway. The F35 that the SAM is intended to shoot down will never get off the ground either.
OOPski!
As the missile fails to ignite, after ejected by the catapult, you can hear someone yelling 'Ebat tu', which I understand loosely translates to fuck you!.
Anyways, this video gave me my best laugh of the day, Russian humor at it's best.
Estes Industries
https://www.estesrockets.com/
Yea, the flag, the failed launch, the clownish antics....
State-of-the-art tents though. Reminds me of those old WWII movies, or Abraham Lincoln.
I like the way they all take it in stride. If that had been a failed American missile, somehow, I doubt there would have been the same level of good natured humor about the whole thing. A failed state takes itself too seriously.
The reverse, reverse, reverse propaganda is off the hook in this thread.
The "failed" missile launch was staged by anti-Russia interests. Malaysia 317 was scripted to be an anti-Russia false flag.
...but keep spinning, scumbags.
The rocket motor was probably sold on the black market three weeks ago.
Run Away !
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KAp9sFVdERQ
Missile porn baby!!!!! Yeah baby, yeah!
I wrote a message a few days ago that seems to have disappeared. It was primarily for those that seem to have some weird fascination with missile launches and "nuclear alerts".
People make progress in stages. It is the gov's and businesses that need to be one step ahead to greet you as you grow and enter each new level. Eventually, most will grow out of this ridiculous missile porn stage just as you will also outgrow the constantly conflicting articles.
Now, back to your regularly scheduled missile launches.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Hd9nSPkbyVk
Pravda on S-300 two days ago under headline: "USA not able to overcome S-300 air defense system"
Both the fail video linked by ZH and the Pravda video were posted the same day.
RT and Pravda vs. some murky "Action Tube" channel.
gotta’love it..
Shit happens..
..its’s not the one that f’s up that you should be worried about ..
.. it’s the other several thousand on the line that is the issue.
Ukrainians launching a couple of Tochka-U short range ballistic missiles with 450kg high explosive warheads.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=m1KQGEuFM0E
That reminds me of a scene from a movie I seen in 1960. I just wonder if it actually was from that movie?
Can I squeeze in here?
I expected to hear *beep-beep* in that quiet moment.
What the hell...did they order that from ACME?
Nope, "Spys 'R" Us".
Plenty more where that came from, and if 90% work it won't be a problem.
Russia has always survived via numbers and attrition. The German Panzer and Tiger were better tanks, but much more finicky and outnumbered 20-1 by the solid Russian T-34.
America, however, is following the path of Nazi Germany, fascism and fancy toys that there aren't enough of.
Russia and/or China would eat our lunch in a land battle without nukes.
Wet powder. Lock and load another...
You just cost me 30 minutes of looking back at the old catalogs from 30 & 40 years ago. Thanks! :-)
They shoulda used the Solar Ignigters with the Poloroid replacable batteries!
Be brave ....laugh it off as a joke .... inside you are crying for Mother Russia !
You should order Merikastan to attack now, clearly the missile
defenses are down. Cowboy up, bitchez.
Down? Ain't shit down, man. That video is USA's finest hour. Somewhere in the distance, in a secret bunker in the Pacific Rim, is a certain John Kerry and John McCain, and maybe even Lindsey Graham, simultaneously pushing the red button to deactivate the ignition while watching a live feed.
FUCK YOU BAD GUYS, WE RULE!
For Narnia!
Radar Operator: Colonel, you better have a look at this radar.
Colonel: What is it, son?
Radar Operator: I don't know, sir, but it looks like a giant...
Jet Pilot: Dick. Dick, take a look out of starboard.
Co-Pilot: Oh my God, it looks like a huge...
Bird-Watching Woman: Pecker.
Bird-Watching Man: [raising binoculars] Ooh, Where?
Bird-Watching Woman: Over there. What sort of bird is that? Wait, it's not a woodpecker, it looks like someone's...
Army Sergeant: Privates. We have reports of an unidentified flying object. It has a long, smooth shaft, complete with...
Baseball Umpire: Two balls.
[looking up from game]
Baseball Umpire: What is that. It looks just like an enormous...
Chinese Teacher: Wang. pay attention.
Wang: I was distracted by that giant flying...
Musician: Willie.
Willie: Yeah?
Musician: What's that?
Willie: [squints] Well, that looks like a huge...
Colonel: Johnson.
Radar Operator: Yes, sir?
Colonel: Get on the horn to British Intelligence and let them know about this.
Dr. Jon Boner, calling doctor Jon Boner, you have a patient to tend to, he's got a one track mind and is about to hurt himself with his own tools................................................................................................................................................
Dr. Jon, we have an emergency requiring your attention, patient demands to have a meeting with woody allen or he's going to blow his top or somwething he says. Calling Dr. Jon Boner, help us.
Monetas...
At least they did not die like 28 American Servicemen when a Patriot Surface to Air Missile detonated on the ground.
But you are so in love with Bath House Barry that you do not even shed a tear for those soldiers, asshole.
https://youtu.be/tWc4gGMQ3hQ?t=2m13s
So go and autofellate you fucking faggot.
Yeah, sounds like they have as much respect for authority as our troops. Problems happen, however, when they send a bunch of troops out to confront a bunch of our troops, and they tell them the "other" wants to kill them.
No, Stuxnet did and could...have nothing to do with it.
Happens.
Still zero evidence...none...Iran is doing anything to develop a nuke to counter Israel's several hundred of them, despite 20 years of Israel claiming they were months away.
But if you repeat a lie often enough, people forget you're still illegally occupying and brutalizing a captive indigenous population.
Cute.
The video is a visual metaphor for Jon Corzine's proposed new hedge fund.
"The plans are tentative and could evolve or fall apart in coming months. But a launch would mark an unlikely return to high finance for Mr. Corzine, the 68-year-old former Democratic U.S. senator and New Jersey governor who has stayed out of the limelight since commodities brokerage MF Global declared bankruptcy in 2011."
http://www.wsj.com/articles/jon-corzine-considers-launching-hedge-fund-1...
Glad to see you back in the news Jon, you POS!!!
Free Jon Corzine!
From his head?
A dud scud.
Just another Russian propaganda piece. This is obviously intentional and planned to cast doubt that it was not Russian missle which downed the Malaysian airliner.
Get Rootie with Puutie.
Those who have had their Russian pride harmed by this can smile and note that this is failed launch of fake missle is intended to be a propaganda success.
If I drank home made ukie vodka produced by a lead car radiator still, made from GMO grain, from waters imported from Chernobyl, I might sound just like you.
Really, are you so dumb that you don't know the difference between an S300 and a BUK? Even your lying disgusting Ukie media NEVER claimed that Russia used an S300.
We got a couple of real ones on here and they still don't sound like anything like that.
hehe
Any failed launch of any fake missle is satisfactory for Ruskie propaganda.
It must be propaganda as all of you true Puutie followers know and tell us that true Russian military has perfected all missle intercept procedures.
You are such an obvious Paid Puutie Puppy troll that there is no longer any effort to deny it.
I am not a Putin Lover. I don't trust ANY politician.
I just want America to stop attacking the rest of the world and focus on fixing our domestic problems. The 1 Trillion plus spend, for example, on an illegal war in Iraq could have built a NY to LA high speed train system, or hired hundreds of thousands of teachers.
As far as I am concerned, you Ukies created your civil war and economic disaster, so you should fix it yourself instead of relying on USSA controlled bankster politicians to magically turn you into Europeans. Look up the english word 'Slave', This is your future.
Its truly amazing that you haven't choked to death while trying to drink water.
"All made in Taiwan!"
http://youtu.be/qJczSB7bago
Much vodka was harmed in the making of this film.
Much Vodka and no Russians were harmed in the making of this film, but I'll bet a few livers were damaged.
The French have equally capable missles for a fraction of the cost!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=w4-9E7TM-0k
Merde!
Naming the gender of the cooperative cop is a bad idea. Might have just burned someone who will cooperate.
FingAye, think people, THINK.
Latvian potato launcher fail
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0JNLqFHH-oQ&t=80s
What is the Latvian for "Don't run"?
What is the Latvian for "Don't run"?
Neskrien
You notice, there was not one empty suit or high ranking officer in the bunch of people watching the launch. In the USA, you would have had two generals, politicians, news crews and a bunch of guys with engineering degrees. No debriefings in Russia or 20 years ago with the FBI agents who planted RDX expolisives in the Oklahoma City Murrah Building, where internal explosives did most of the damage, especially to the nursery.
In USA, is successful demo if weapon doesn't turn and fire up into reviewing stand.
/boris
Saw that once when a I-Hawk lost track and came back towards the reviewing bleachers. It missed and bounced off some dunes b4 detonating harmlessly. Funnier than hell seeing the stuffed uniforms un-assing seats in a hurry.
I enjoyed watching an old Dragon fired in Wildflecken, it took off, unguided, over a hill toward parts unknown. Never did hear where it hit.
Are you talking about the Sgt.York self propelled AA? That thing has hilarious. The lulz were totally worth it.
OKC - A Conspiracy Theory, By James Corbett
I signed in to upvote you for the Murrah comment.
I didn't hear Farsi, so they can't pin it on the Iranian crew screwing up.
Next time throw the VIAGRA switch about 1/2 hr before launch.
And said flag was not even destroid by said missile... Tiny explosion.
I thought the Space Shuttle program had been retired.
It is. The Russians bought out all the old inventory.
Although it isn't as advanced as the S-400, the -300 is nothing to sneeze at. It'll stand toe to toe with the best long range SAM systems the US has to offer. Russia's S-400 beats the crap out of anything the US currently has fielded. Once Iran spreads the S-300 radars and launchers across their territory, even a B-2 wouldn't stand a chance. It would force the US to use stand-off weapons only, which basically would make bombing Natanz or Qom impossible.
How many missles will they give Iran? In two days they will be fired out or launchers destroyed by drones and HARMS.
This is a nothing burger, oh remember Syria's vaunted S-300 SAM System the Israel simply spoofed.
Yawn.
If you were right, the US wouldn't give two shits about who receives an S-300. To the best of my knowledge, HARMs cannot be launched from a sufficiently long distance to knock out the radars. I believe your typical HARM poops out around 100 km or so, well within the clutches of an S-300. I think the only thing they could do is launch a bunch of cruise missiles against the radars, but there again the S-300 has a countermeasure for that. It's far from a slam dunk. Those Syrian S-300s were hacked by an insider. Maybe the same feat can be pulled off this time around. Maybe not.
Mental masturbation
Numbers. Those are huge G2A missiles. How expensive are they and how many do they have?
Send in 100 or 1000 drones. Do the Iranians burn their supply shooting down drones or do they hold fire for the real deal and lose their radars?
War is usually a numbers game. I think, no matter how good the S-300/400/500 is, they cannot put enough in the field to defeat masses of drones.
feel free to correct me if Im wrong, but I imagine there are better alternatives for shooting down drones.
Slingshots FTMFW
S-300 , 400 or 900 doesn't matter as long as Iranians are operating it ... how well does targeting radar work with no generators or electricity? , when the ground crew is too busy screwing goats , when the launch vehicle has 2 flat tires and is far from level? You've got to put things in perspective.. they have a VERY SMALL team of competant people and the incompetents drag even the best down.
You don't need radar evading planes to take these out ,, an A-10 will do it at altitudes too low for these missiles to track... and just wait til the fuel on just one missile gets hit...
I thought the A-10s were being retired, since the F-35 super magic stealth vertical take-off does every single role is (eventually) coming.
Iranians now receive education from banging heads on floor while being whipped. If it works well for goat screwing instruction, it must perfect method to learn guidance system operation and control. Topping up fuel is as easy a filling a Hooka.
It's pronounced flaksid.
The missile launched albeit a second or two late, listen to the sound, and measure the timing. If it hadn't launched those vehicles would have been blown sky high. The sound from the soldiers was more relief than anything.....
I'm making over $7k a month working part time. I kept hearing other people tell me how much money they can make online so I decided to look into it. Well, it was all true and has totally changed my life. This is what I do... www.globe-report.com
I know plumbers that make moe than that. Fuck off.
Although Iran signed the original deal with Russia for the 300, and becuse Russia no longer makes that 300 missile launch system, Iran will be receiving delivery of the 400.
translation: "it look just like dollar: up very quickly then stalled and fell violently with big explosion at ending"
"Obviously a major malfunction..." (some NASA guy after the Challenger blew up)
Limp...just like Vlad!
Lucas electrical wiring harness.
They should invite Comrade Barry to watch the next test.
99.9999% of the ZH crowd has no idea what you're talking about...but I do.
"Lucas, Prince of Darkness".
+++++
CW
That's why Englishmen drink room-temperature beer:
Lucas refrigerators.
Yep, I admit I owned a Jaguar XJS. Beautiful 12-cylinder engine; so many overlapping compression strokes,... a thing of beauty (when it was running properly). Had half the wiring harness burn up for no reason (other than it was Lucas...)
The best part of owning a Jaguar with a V-12 engine was never having to change the oil; you just got a large drip pan. The old, dirty oil leaked out the bottom and you simply added new oil at the top...
Good punchline. Jay Leno keeps cardboard under his Jaguars in the garage. Just fucking with you, Jay. Beautiful cars.
1963 Jaguar XKE - Jay Leno's Garagehttp://m.youtube.com/watch?v=fPKSf5tHzsw
Edit. Couldn't find iowahawks jag video.
Once a knuckler, always a knuckler. I don't even think an advanced degree would have helped you.
Happy to say I'm part of the 000.0001%.
But not the ones with the billions. Story of my life.
Who let the smoke out!
A friend of mine let ALL the smoke out on his TR-6 ,,, it was a 1978 and believe it or not they still used shellaced cotton insulation on their wiring!!! The car burned down with a dash wiring fault.
The early Ducati crap was even worse.
Ever try troubleshooting Alfa-Romeo electrics? They probably used the same company for the harnesses...
Did you hear about the Lucas powered torpedo? It sank.
"Why do the British drink warm beer?"
Lucas refrigerators.
[Didn't see your post at first...]
Global warming ?
Oh yeah, much love for those guys. Just replaced a front axle/CV joint and power steering pump on a '95 Land Rover Discovery. I hate when my friend calls about Brit cars. He pays extra though and has two more to go with a Shorland Armored Patrol Car that I have time on.
Love the style of that model. You're lucky. Mine friend had one that had a maintenance record resembling a felon rap sheet. He was too proud to trade it in. Kid you not. He felt dirty wealthy behind the wheel. ;p
The Zener Diode burned out.
you know it's tempting to pile on and make fun etc. but these are complex systems... stuff goes south on them all the time, which is why you gotta test...
no one here should be kidding themselves that the Russians don't have great missile tech... they do, no question
Looks like they need to dumb it down a little. Maybe light a fuse and run or something.
ha! ok I got a chuckle out of that visual...
You and Latina Lover are sure putting on a brave face .... but, I feel your pain .... I'm sorry your comrades let you down !
Actually, Post Turtle has frequently Russia bashed. He comments from his beliefs. You? You have an agenda.
Confuscious say: Better to drop bomb than to launch missile.
The brightest minds and engineers in the world....the shitiest manufacturing and maintenance in the world. Project meet corruption.
I think you forgot the sarc. I HOPE you forgot the sarc.
You bet. And when those support troops got their shit together, they finally went to go see if the launch crew was okay. Better late than never.
Vodka and surface-to-air don't mix.
Actually, the Russians have a drink called the SAM (surface to air missile), 4 parts champagne to 1 part vodka. It's a guaranteed panty dropper.
I think they drank all the Vodka from the rocket fuel tank.
Could be....
Just go to your room and have a good cry .... you'll feel better .... but, stop the phony banter .... they hurt you !
That guy shit in his pants when that did not fire and go.
Yeah, I could practically smell through my screen, LOL>
Boris, you not fill rocket?
Nyet Natasha, I tell you to fill rocket.
Oh, Boy.
Cloyd, did you bring the Scrootch gun?
Why no Gidney, I thought you did.
That's what happens when you send boys and girls to play with the dangerous toys in the woods
It did most of its job.
:)
Damn guess we aren't going to be saved by Russia.
If the Germans watch that, they might give it another go.
Putin nukes America, missiles destroy China by mistake.
There are some that would be most genuinely pleased with exactly such a mishap.
That would certiainly solve the present manufacturing over capacity and concomitant deflation problem, rebalance power in the trans-asain/pacific theater, etc..
Why do you think there's a pivot to Asia?
The moral of the story is that to ensure that the enemy is hit you should launch the missile from enemy territory.
I guess the fact that the word missile starts with the word "miss" must have a historical basis due to past mishaps.
Might be best to put some more distance beween yourself and such and the launch pad if possible so that if it fails to lift you don't get a hot rocket up your ass.
I'm guessing that there were no munitions payload on board or the whole area whould have been a frag zone full of casualties and rubber-stamp disability cases...
I'd be more worried about a hot rocket hat.
TIME FOR A JOKE:
Two Irishmen working as cleaners at NASA get thirsty. One of them finds a bottle with what he thought was water but was in actual fact rocket fuel. After both of them have a drink they each go home to their places.
A little while later Paddy rings Micky.
Paddy: Hey Micky have you farted by any chance since we finished work?
Micky: No, why?
Paddy: What we drank was rocket fuel.
Micky: Sweet Jesus. You sound distant. Where are you calling from?
Paddy: Fucking Japan.!!!
Way off topic, but important.
Look who's out of jail and ready to begin again:
http://www.wsj.com/articles/jon-corzine-considers-launching-hedge-fund-1...
The banksters need to repay us.
"I wonder if he is concerned that he can't "return?"
Fer fucks sake. There is no rule of law in this country anymore. Wait till he starts raising funds and working on the Hitlery campaign.
But they're marching to Bastille Day
La guillotine will claim her bloody prize
Free the dungeons of the innocent
The king will kneel and let his kingdom rise
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GW72Gmqjse4
2112 coming soon to a World near you.
Actually Neil Peart, Geddy Lee, and Alex Lifeson were probably not that far off
in predicting how the World will be in 2112 (if we continue this march towards world globalization and Fascist Totalitarianism).
Just put me down as the kid who finds the guitar in the cave.
I got dibs on the Red Barchetta.
Something tells me that he was already operating while in jail.
worst video ever
Well, the redhead at around 1:45 almost saves it.
At least it's not the Zion enriching "can't turn, can't climb, can't run" F-35.
http://www.alternet.org/fail-400-billion-military-jet-cant-fly-cloudy-we...
http://dailycaller.com/2014/12/08/the-usaf-has-to-re-paint-its-trucks-be...
The banksters need to repay us.
ZIC? MIC? Let's call the whole thing off.
F-35 vs Russian Missles, guess Lockheed Marting got a gig on both sides.
Guys chill out! It was a demonstration of short-range capabilities! No other system in the world can acquire a target that is just 1m away!
Target was hit as intended.
Conractor was paid in full. Now living in Dallas.
Yeah yeah yeah. But you fuckers love Russian guns.
In Post Soviet Russia, missile launches you!!!
Nothing like this happens in the US military of course ....
Usually it's a crash hawk helicopter or a USMC Osprey going down killing everybody on board.
Or some dumb fuck naval aviator and jack ass future senator firing the missiles from his aircraft into his own ship killing his fellow sailors.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/1967_USS_Forrestal_fire
http://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Accidents_and_incidents_involving_the_V-2...
http://www.foxnews.com/us/2015/03/11/look-at-some-noncombat-crashes-invo...
Speaking of John McInsane .. http://www.fairfaxunderground.com/forum/read/40/106714.html usually if a person is in flight training and crashes . he is either out or grounded for a period of time . after two .. for whatever reason . he is out.. but since McShame was an admiral's son .. Navy kept giving him a pass .. if they had not he would not have crashed 3 other aircraft including the one he flew in Vietnam. The guy should never have been allowed to remain in the flight program . I had one friend who was sent packing because he ran off the runway .. they do not cut you a lot of slack in flight training.. not to mention he was no brain trust . graduated 790 in a class of 795 at the naval academy .. usually dummies do not get to fly jets . they used to stick anyone not top of the line in multi engines.. or helicopters. especially in the Vietnam era... . as for the deal on the Forestal . it is clouded in conflicting information . suffice to say . he was involved ..... pulled from the plane and whisked off the Forestal .. I think the only pilot involved who was ... whether responsible for what happened.. there is some doubt . but the bastard did crash five US navy aircraft .. two of them under suspicious circumstances .. one a board of inquiry basically found NO reason for him to eject . luckily the plane crashed without doing any harm into Corpus Christi Bay ... still sitting there. One he crashed in Iberia; one was jettisoned over the side of the Forrestal after the bomb incident .. and of course the one that got him put into POW camp in Hanoi.
gotta be a neocon trap.
Napoleon called it "Ze limp dick in ze girl's dormatory" ploy. Ze girls don't think they have anything to worry about. Mon Dieu we had fun.
New Launch Procedure:
1. Put launch vehicle in reverse gear, put foot on brake, accelerate engine...
2. Launch missile....
3. Release brake...
Personal favorite - French anti-tank missile FAIL. MERDE!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eZPOfwVhokI
Actually, the missile in the video was a new design provided by Elon Musk. It was testing Musk's RUD (Rapid Unscheduled Disassembly) function.
Looks like they "licensed" the SpaceX landing code.