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McDonalds Reports Disturbing Numbers, Misses Across The Board; Stock Jumps
Moments ago McDonalds reported its latest sales numbers which were basically atrocious, worse than usual, and missed across the board. From BBG:
- MCD MARCH TOTAL COMP SALES DOWN 3.3%, EST. DOWN 2.1%
- MCD MARCH US COMP SALES DOWN 3.9%, EST. DOWN 3.0%
- MCD MARCH EUROPE COMP SALES DOWN 2.9%, EST. DOWN 1.6%
- MCD MARCH APMEA COMP SALES DOWN 7.3%, EST. DOWN 4.5%
- APRIL GLOBAL COMPARABLE SALES ARE EXPECTED TO BE NEGATIVE
At this point the operational challenges facing the company are clearly unfixable in its current iteration which is broken beyond merely a CEO switch, and not even a "buy 1 Big Mac, get 3 Big Macs (and Joseph A Banc suits) free" strategy will fix the ailing fastfood maker, whose secular collapse is best captured by the charts below.
So what does the stock do? The algos are "luvin' it."
Why? Because with the company clearly facing an operating dead end it will have no choice but to "grow" earnings through even more buybacks.
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It's hard to afford a McDouble when you only have a 29.5 hr/wk job.
Thank goodness for hot QE cash. With QE cash, reality doesn't matter all that much.
huh?....across Asia they already have McCat & McDog Mcmeals.
McDonalds has taken a hit
Their numbers are bad, they admit
Consumers are broke
On debt they all choke
And food at McDonalds is unappetizing
McDonald's serves food that is absolute shit,
So they can stuff dough into their mitt,
The algos don't eat , can't taste sweet,
Don't know the Brugers aren't really meat,
Bullish investors in Mcdees's are ignorant twits.
Would you like fries with that?
" Super Size your Pink Slime for only 50 cents moar! "
I'm sorry but 'Super Size' isn't allowed any more...you see, it's not politically correct.
But you could have a McSalad with Pink Slime dressing.
Will there be anything else?
Ok, that will be $8.49...please proceed to the second window....
Obama will fix the sales problem. Have McShit drastically reduce quality and lower the price even more. Think dirt burger on a styrofoam bun, with bar-b-que sauce substitute. Then it can be served as school lunches. The kiddies won't show heart disease and cancer for 30-40 years. Somebody else's problem.
"That will be $8.49. Will that be on your McDonalds credit line, EBT, Visa/Mastercharge/Discover card. Cash not accepted except with DHS/IRS/NSA/POTUS approval."
Notice how no one EVER says "I feel like a burger, let's go to McDonalds." Instead, they say "I feel like McDonald's." It's a separate food category. And I'm using "food" in the loosest possible meaning of the term.
Dad hated them, called their fake grub garbage. He's been dead over 30 years and I bet he'd be absolutely amazed to see they're still around. If not for the world growth strategy...
introduced my kids to the term mcdump while on roadtrips. never buy anything but the coffee or milk.
better to leave more than we take.
happy to have that tradition with them.
Yellow Arches Wilt
Styrofoam Chicken Nuggets
Diabetes Blooms
Of course their sales are down. You know it's over when a company directs their marketing at the EBT parasites. It means nobody's left.
Same with that other low life hang out, walmart.
Now if they would just close 2/3 of the god damned stores so we don't have to trip over them on every fucking block.
The MCD $1 Cokes are a bargain when you need a drink while on the road. Of course, since I buy 4-5 a year I do not cover too much overhead.
Once in a while I will add in an order of fries.
Dumbass... you are paying for diabetes sugar water, or cancer chemical water. Better to fill up a re-usable container with tap water and their free ice.
The drinks are the highest margin product on the menu.
Still better than a school lunch.
OK LKing, it took me a beat to get that, only one cup of coffee so far, but a LOL, and I don't do that much in the morning (i.e. before about zero nine hundred...).
There once was a hack named Big Mac
Who dished burgers from a colorful sack
But when you were finished
You felt like the Finnish
From a gigantic gastronomical attack
McDonalds food tastes like shit
Their numbers are bad, they are shit
Their patrons are gangsters
You can thank the banksters
And food at McDonalds is shit
If corporations want to pay Chinese level wages, they should expect to charge Chinese level prices, otherwise beyond the very short term, things are gonna go McBoom.
You don't understand how it works. Any of it. If you could understand how it works, you wouldn't have posted .... that.
I've HAD dog meat. McDonald's isn't as good. THAT is why they'll fail. All of the alternatives are better and similarly priced.
"across Asia they already have McCat & McDog Mcmeals."
And McRat....
My fav is the "Floating Pig Buger" fresh-caught from the Pearl River!
"Floating Pig Buger"
A meal fit for a bankster, a politician...or the CEO of Goldman Sachs or their ilk....
Instread of spending billions on buy backs why don't they spend Billions on McDonalds payment cards and give to homeless increasing sales / earnings.
Better fire up Beanie Babies 2.0.
duplicate -sorry
All the McD's on Martin Luther King Boulevardes should be separated and valuated accordingly.
Or maybe have streaming service? Could make a buck or two there.
pods
McDonalds is a baby momma and gangster hang out plus they get a lot of illegals living the Ameri-con Dream.
MCD's customer base is at best feral.
on Wall st REALITY is what my computer SAYS it is Bitches!!!!
I'm lovin' it anagrams to ilin vomit
McD's has recently seen an upsurge in the quality burger franchise competition: Five Guys, Shake Shack, Burger Lounge, et.al. McD's will be forgotten with the 20th century.
After a generation, people are rediscovering 'real' burgers, like the ones that were sold by the mom and pops that were put out of business by the corporate giant.
As long as there are millions of TV watching sheep, there will always be McDeez and burger snot to take their money and give back chemical food substitutes.
Sheep do what the TV tells them It tells them they'll be happy and sexy if they buy lots of pink slime burgers and diabetes sugar water.
Seriously.
The mass market days are ending, and customizing is the way ahead. I could go get a McDonalds McMuffin - or I could go to a Sheetz and get a customized sandwich with choices between 3 meats, eggs prepared 3 ways, 8 types of cheese, two onion styles, and two dozen other toppings from lettuce to pesto.
Lettuce, Onion and Black Olives on my breakfast sausage? So I can at least pretend I'm eating healthy? Sign me up.
Sheetz is awesome ! It ws great when they came out with the custom order yourself touchscreens ( ie. do not deal with a moron cashier who completely screws up order ) . Ketchup mayo salt pepper cheese egg sausage bagel sandwich - once a week. No pink slime.
They are also getting crushed by Chick Fil A.
Um, check the ingredients of Chick Fil A entrees. I did because I was wondering why they were so tasty (not that I've eaten them; none around here and I'm vegetarian). They are loaded with MSG.
I freelance over th? internet and earn about 80-85$ an hour. I was without a job for 7 months but last month my paycheck with big fat bonus was $15000 just working on my computer from my home for 5-6 hours. Here's what i have been doing... www.globe-report.com
Mackers is dog shit.
They should sell dog on a stick. Huge seller in china.
Hurry and corner the market in the States! That'll be the new meat staple after the big reset.
We pink slimed some people....
Let the REIT-ification of corporate America help!
Create REIT, split business apart, add tons of cheap debt, wring all the cash out of the business that you can while firing 20% of workforce. That should do it.
And then finally, when there's nothing left, when you can't borrow another buck from the bank or buy another case of booze, you bust the joint out.
McFuck me sideways
Why did the stock jump? Because how much work can it get? That's how economists think.
Because up is down, and bad is good.
Sales are down? Bullish!
I meant how much worse can it get. I needed more coffee...
yellen will buy dem big macs as soon as she finishes gobbling up all that mcd common.
People are coming to know that McDonalds' food is toxic. Do you really need 19 ingredients in French fries?
Toxic ingredients in McDonalds' French friesNineteen different ingredients go into McDonald's French fries, including genetically modified (GMO) foods, additives, and preservatives. Antifoaming agents, hydrogenated soybean oil, natural beef flavoring, Dimethylpolysiloxane and Sodium Acid Pyrophosphate are all ingredients in McDonald's French fries. Some of the added ingredients in the French fries are intended to add texture or color, but many of these additives are not used in other countries, so the necessity of adding them to the American fries is questionable.
http://www.naturalnews.com/048982_McDonalds_toxic_ingredients_French_fri...
More Dimethylpolysiloxane please!!!
Go downstairs, into the laundry room, open up the cabinet and pull out your Downy fabric softener; there's plenty of PDMS (polydimethyl siloxane) in it.
Or grab the Armorall Tire Shine; tons in that one too!
Enjoy!
ArmorAll Tire Shine Good! (Recommended not to use on Aircraft tires though - rots the sidewalls...)
Right next to the ketchup dispenser. Help yourself.
No wonder many McDonalds are right next to Walgreens.
Meanwhile, the hydrogenated soybean oil is chock full of Roundup, the active ingredient of which - glysophate - was recently identified as a coarcinogen by the WHO.
Fucking moron
Fuck Monsanto
Turn your black soil grey.
Don't worry. They sell more chemicals to fix that.
At my beloved In-and-Out Burger, you see huge barrels of whole potatos just in from Idaho. They slice them on site, and five minutes later they are in your hands as french fries. Three ingredients--Spuds, hot oil, salt. Mmmmmmm.
Same thing at Five Guys
I have not been to either Five Guys or In and Out but it is good to hear of places that actually sell real food. McDonald's can go to hell. They are another Illinois scam company just like Chicago.
Don't kid yourself. Those places can sell quality to differentiate themselves FOR NOW. But if they ever get as big as McShit, they'll turn into the same monster. At some point the accountants take over, and pink slime and chemicals is cheaper than beef.
And with all that care, attention, and quality MacProcessing, the fries still suck!
"Missing numbers" ... "poor sales" ... "shootings and mayhem in McD's stores" ... "Thugs mobs beating up on customers" ....
Sounds Bullish ... good for a 2% rise!
The duration of that downswing is impressing to me!
The duration of that downswing is impressing to me!
Higher Prices + Poorer Quality Ingredients = Success!
McD's has always been very generic. However, since food inflation has gone rampant, I can taste the differences in their products from say ten years ago.
For 2-3 more dollars, I can go to a local chain and get WAY better food. We've lost two of my local lunch places in the last 4 months so times are tough all around.
You eat that crap ?
And the sizes. I went to a McDs for the first time in a long time and got a sausage McMuffin and hash brown meal. The sandwich was as good as I remembered, but the hash brown was the size of a Pringles potato chip. With a coke it cost more than 5 bux.
Maybe McDs will recover, but I won't be helping.
The only thing I used to think was decent at McD was the fish sandwiches. They are probably fish parts and essentially chum pressed together. They used to be good.
The last time I had one, it was about the size of a large postage stamp with a tiny sliver of cheese.
There client base now are illiterates, illegals and EBT parasites.
Ended up at McD's on Easter because we were traveling and NOTHING was open, not even Subway.
I thought my order was pretty simple, but they got it wrong anyway. So one of the women behind the counter gave me a cheeseburger for free.
Overpriced.
Not even the fries are good now.
Bullshit. You are a sheep. A grocery store would have been open.
Free is WAY to expensive for McShit. How much is the average health insurance deductible? Will they pay for your doctoring when they make you terminally ill?
More robots, less $9 hr workers.
yes, mcrobots can fix this /s
I'm sure they are already doing that/considering it, papaswamp.
Won't they be shocked that their own $7 an hour workers were actually a HUGE percentage of their sales that the Robots won't be buying?
Same thing happened to our Automakers, they offshored the suppliers to put more money in their own pockets - union too - and they were/are simply SHOCKED that people that no longer have good jobs can't afford their foreign-comprised POS cars!
Ain't it weird how the real world works when all those charts and theories seemed just so perfect?
My local mcdonald's is literally just a free wifi station/homeless bathing center. People spend the entire day there and don't even buy a $1 soda.
Dumster Dive for a cup and get free refils
All went downhill when they started their "Black History 365" campaign.
I wish I'd seen that. Still wondering if there is one single accomplishment blacks have made to civilized society.
The discretionary economy is collapsing.
Here's a little tidbit (should be a ZH article about this): Walmart has eliminated the plastic shopping baskets. Apparently, Walmart believes that by forcing all of its shoppers to use the oversized shopping carts (probably a good 50% bigger than a standard grocery store shopping cart), it can cause Walmart shoppers to buy more.
I'm skeptical. 1) People are buying less because they have less disposable income. 2) I think most people do their weekly grocery shopping with a list and a specific budget. 3) Some people (like me) will actually buy LESS; buying only what they can carry in their arms, refusing to push an oversized cart all over a giant store when they only have a short shopping list.
http://www.bizjournals.com/houston/news/2015/04/21/linn-energy-to-close-...
Well, it's a "jobless rekovery!"
Drives me bonkers that they do not have the hand baskets anymore. I only go to WalMart for Ammo and maybe to scope out their clearance aisle(s). Great comment Trump!
Also agree on the hand baskets. They did that to the Walmart near me a couple yeaers ago, but at some point a few of them turned back up. I never use a basket, always need just a few "commodity" items (and sometimes stuff I can't get elsewhere).
Check out www.UNAmmo.com if you want really good prices on ammo. If you go to the range often enough, you can save a bundle buying a years worth of plinking in one shot.
Regards,
Cooter
Haven't been to little bombay gansta mart in ages. But I didn't see hand baskets I went to the nearest register and grabbed a plastic bag.
BYOB! (Bring your own basket) I have found that if you serf behind grocery stores, especially those remodeling you can get free racks and shopping baskets. Works great for me with moving the canned goods that I process. :-)
True.
I hate dealing with shopping carts. If I have to I leave it at the end of an aisle and shop a couple of aisles at a time before moving the cart.
Honest to pete, I bought my own little green handbasket to shop Wal-mart since they took away the free blue ones.
I know, big bad Wal-mart. Some things I like aren't sold at other store near me.
As I believe we all will be forced to shop for our Chinese produced goods at Wallys soon enough, I refuse to shop their now.
BUT, I learned this trick long ago when I can't find little baskets, bonus of extra steps/movement for health.
Go to housewares first, find aisle full of baskets and containers, grab the one that will work, use it to put stuff you are buying into it, empty stuff out on counter then hand the basket to the cashier, with a smile, say, "I changed my mind, don't like how it works."
Screw them. Psychological sales techniques hold no sway over the independent, or enlightened to it. I studied merchandizing well.
Screw 'em hard.
At this rate they will take the company private
brilliant! BONUS TIME!!
Because people don't want to pay even .99 for something that tastes worse than, yet doesn't even have the nutrional value of dog shit
Tell that to the millions that do pay $.99 for food at McDonalds. Freedom includes the freedom to make poor choices, malinvest capital, etc...
I don't eat there for a myriad of reasons, but if they want to sell what they do and people want to exchange fiat for it, then so be it.
Freedom? LOL, you are optimistic, these days I see nothing but forced malinvestment via central planning and corruption...
oh well, that which cannot be sustained, won't be.
tick tock motherfuckers...
I'm incredibly optimistic for reasons that have nothing to do with politics and paranoia...Doesn't mean that an individual cannot argue for liberty even as the jaws of the superstate are being shut on it. I ain't gonna lay down and die. It just makes the contrast between the Statists and their foes, the liberty-minded all the more clear. I'll keep banging that freedom tamborine till they padlock the klieg illuminated concertina topped chainlink fence behind me.
And then I'll bang it some more.
That guy is batshit. Don't waste time arguing with him.
tell the truth bum bum
you cannot kid a kidder
you cannot hustle a hustler
or rustle a rustler
tell the truth rabbi
you do not eat a mc d
cos you got the odigo donte eat
911style
pager rabbi message er
Well spotted Tony , that bambu jeru troll pretending to be all freedom and anarcho like
Whacky.
That little dweeb news reader on CNBS this morning was half-joking that they should hire Old Lady Obamao to be their food Czar.
Yup and NASDAQ pre-open has retraced all of this morning's move.
Un-fucking-believable.
DavidC
We "Big Mac Attacked" some folks!
Nothing but the highest quality horse shit money can buy, pay close attention to the demographic represented in MCDs commercials they know their target audience well.
I don't find it disturbing that fewer people are eating McDonalds.
mcd is for timing the chart and grabbing a dividend.
Other people drive the earnings/revenue
Judging by the ongoing fat-ass epidemic accompanied by growing rates of cancer, heart disease and diabetes whatever they're eating instead is not helping.
You know how people point out that common McIngredients can be found in laundry detergents, paint strippers etc. I think the public finally wised up and went straight for cheap raw chemicals instead of buying food.
I'm lov....
McStocks
Nobody could have forseen selling a sliced apple for $3 was a bad idea.
Broken stocks and broken business plans are the mothers milk of broken markets... BuLL Fukingish
REIT.
Brilliant! Their captive finance arm, McDonald's Acceptance Corp, can offer financing for Dollar Menu customers who can't pay cash or obtain their own financing in the free market. Once it fails, it can be the next GMAC/Ally Financial deal.
Introducing "I'll gladly pay you Tuesday for a hamburger today" meal!
Genius!
Microfinance.
MickeyD's has been squeezing out every efficiency at the low end of the price scale for decades - few can compete at a buck or two. But expansion into espresso coffee, fancy chicken, and $5+ burgers is a market full of competition. Of course McD's will be buying stock, but their best opportunity may be to apply their efficiencies to their high end burgers and under price the competition in that market.
Accountant: Oh Mcno.
CEO: What Mchappened.
Accountant: Profits Mccrashed.
CEO: Supersize the Mcbailout.
- And it's McGone!
Home of the gray meat burger. Who doesn't want to eat gray colored meat?
MacDonalds needs to use the Walmart business model, close up unprofitable units and turn them over to DHS, NSA, MIC for purposes that serve His Shadow (nod to Lexx).
The Franchisees would have nothing left, for the most part.
In many cases the most valuable part of the franchise left is the location.
Pretty sure Kai ran on pink slime. (I love Lexx)
Me too..got the whole DVD set. (Originally aired as "Tales From A Parallel Universe", four 1 1/2 hour movies).
I dug up my old Nokia 3390 cell phone that I had since early 2000's. Finally found a battery for it. Turned it on and was greeted with a message: "Who would you like me to kill?" Back in those days I was obsessed with the show. It didn't come out on DVD till much later. So I was hanging around IRC bulletin boards where people posted TV shows as they aired. Good old pre-youtube days!
LOL...I was disappointed when Zev was replaced by Xev and 790 became a homo robot head in love with a dead guy.
I only discovered the show late through the 2nd season, so to me Xenia Seeberg was the original Xev and I didn't mind the switch when learning about it later. 790 - I disliked him for being a treacherous asshole, regardless of sexual orientation.
Xev was ok, but after watching the first 4 movies it was a let down when they killed off Zev in the 2nd episode of the series. The 790 robot head only became treacherous after it fell in love with the dead guy. LOL. The 790 robot head got tossed off the bridge of the Lexx and his piece of human brain was smashed. Kai (the dead guy) reanimated it with the protein regenerator. The 790 robot head was given the sex slave programming by accident (intended for Zev) back in the first movie....so when Kai (the dead guy) brought the 790 robot head back to life, it fell in love with the first thing it saw....the dead guy and 790 dumped Xev as his love.
I know which show I'll be re-watching tonight when I get home. Thanks for bringing back memories!
That series had good music, it was tongue and cheek funny, and each season was totally different. I just keep watching it.
Oh please! “The numbers were terrible!”, that is so old normal, but the bears need something to give them hope. The numbers don't matter under the Fed’s New Normal. Lousy numbers means greater intervention. By this morning they were likely using their proxies like the BOJ to buy CMG and MCD stock. Duh! The shorts have to give up as they get their faces ripped off yet again. If needed, a few choice words from a Fed governor can give the Dow at mini 200 point surge and prevent any panics. Rinse repeat. Bears just don’t get it…
It's all that Morgan guys fault. Stuffing his face for 30 days was disgusting.
McD's demographics has changed.
It's what happens when you outsource technology and manufacturing offshore.
Bernanke's service job economy isn't working out.
Is crony capitalist Warren buying or selling. That's all that matters, who you know and when you know it.
Yet it is a panic buy?
Eating at McDonalds is like banging the clingy / ugly / fat girl. Feels good at the time, much regret later.
The Golden Arches have a couple of options - continue to slid into irrelevancy (McOpoly, McRib), or up their menu (see Hardees and others who use a much better (relatively) cut / brand of meat), streamline operations (cough goodbye minimum wage, hello Robotics cough) and seriously look at how they do business.
I'd start with a few mea culpas (ala Dominos) and go forward.
How is Burger King doing financially?
Yay, another round of the Whole Foods Army fart-sniffing in the comments about how they wouldn't dare condescend to eat there!
eat it eat it my boy already
baste your internal organs in it
let your kidney liver and brain
feed on monsatan goy vitamin.
one day you will be slaughtered then rendered back into the loop feeding system.
chew slow and with reason
for you chew on someone elses corrupted soul
heeh heeeh, dude, you've eaten one bmac too many, put down the coolaid and back away.
mcd is rising on "hope", the new-normal fundamental.
Years, and years ago we used to frequent McD's probably once a week. The food got soooo bad we were forced to quit. It's just not McD's. We are down to one restaurant in out area. Had to quit Chili's (a used to be fav) when even our dog wouldn't eat the bring home. Now to match their food, they have installed iThingy's to take your order and pay out. Some appear to have no problem with it but for me, it's over the line. I haven't seen one thing Mr. Digital is good at except possibly tracking you and dumbing you down. Example, I used spell check so much I found I was misspelling almost every other word. Same went for my math abilities. Stopped using the calculator for most problems.... oops, got off course,,, sorry.......
Apart from real-estate what does McD really have ?
Last time I checked they had a hamburger
EBT customers and illegals who love their slime.
A place to take a dump coast to coast and abroad ?
Maybe it has to do with the shitty food the serve and how they treat their employees. Especially after they've done the right thing, only to be fired by the corporate dickheads/owners.
Fuck McDonalds!
many years ago eye inter viewed a scientist who told me that goy humans make a fantastic bulking agent for burger.
even knuckle nose snout and feet can be rendered mixed with herbs and spices from monsanto to make thumb sucking
fast foods.
where do all the children go the missing and the homeless.
the hobo and the soprano whacked.
meat processing better than burnin or burying yes no
gristle is gristle worth dollar notes
yes sir
i laughed at the funny man of science
as you do be doo and thought no more of it you see i was jewish at the time a rabbi of sorts and did not frequent these close loop feeding systems.
closed loop yes sir
feeding then slaughtering closed loop yes sir rebob.
recyclin
keep chewin goy you lovin it.
Soylent Goyeem.
The stock (dick) holders must know that McDoa's got a contract with Raytheon for the new cluster nuggets bombs.