This page has been archived and commenting is disabled.
McDonalds Reports Disturbing Numbers, Misses Across The Board; Stock Jumps
Moments ago McDonalds reported its latest sales numbers which were basically atrocious, worse than usual, and missed across the board. From BBG:
- MCD MARCH TOTAL COMP SALES DOWN 3.3%, EST. DOWN 2.1%
- MCD MARCH US COMP SALES DOWN 3.9%, EST. DOWN 3.0%
- MCD MARCH EUROPE COMP SALES DOWN 2.9%, EST. DOWN 1.6%
- MCD MARCH APMEA COMP SALES DOWN 7.3%, EST. DOWN 4.5%
- APRIL GLOBAL COMPARABLE SALES ARE EXPECTED TO BE NEGATIVE
At this point the operational challenges facing the company are clearly unfixable in its current iteration which is broken beyond merely a CEO switch, and not even a "buy 1 Big Mac, get 3 Big Macs (and Joseph A Banc suits) free" strategy will fix the ailing fastfood maker, whose secular collapse is best captured by the charts below.
So what does the stock do? The algos are "luvin' it."
Why? Because with the company clearly facing an operating dead end it will have no choice but to "grow" earnings through even more buybacks.
»
- 36836 reads
- Printer-friendly version
- Send to friend
- advertisements -
McDonalds business model is based on 3.5% growth per year when, in fact, there is no growth whatsoever, but their functionally retarded Chartered Accountants seem to think they can massage the data like Richard 'the dickhead' Fuld
and wait for the next trading day to escape their fate. What is now obvious is that McDonalds Corp. is heading for Chapter 11 bankruptcy in short order. Burger Serf saw the writing on the wall and amalgamated with Tim Horton's so that they could buy time. McDonalds cannot buy time and will
follow the countless businesses that have gone bankrupt over the last seven years. Moreover, McDonalds Corp. has the exact same business model as the USA Gubberment, but they cannot print money like their corporate business partner. Furthermore, they cannot post false employment figures or offer tax breaks to their fellow corporatists
to buy their silence.
NOTE: This is what McDonalds gets for feeding everyone swill
for half a century!
a merger....Mc Don Kings
i don't understand why they don't take advantage of the best quality of mcd food products. it is the best laxative on the market. need to pinch a loaf? cn't get it going? stop by your local mcd for the special supersized regularity dinner. you'll never be constipated again.
$15/hr should fix everything.
Wait, don't real line cooks make $9 to $13/hr?
Too many of their customers dying of food poisoning.
Too many of their stores wrecked by vibrants.
Letting accountants run the business.
Five Guys.
I am going to Chick-fil-A for lunch.
Maybe a little more money but so much better is so many ways.
You might want to check the Chick-fil-a ingredients. They use a ton of MSG. Then read a few articles about just how and why MSG is terrible for your health.
15 years later, billions of 12 year olds are now defaulting on trillions of burger war bunds. They used the money to eat their way through most of elementary and now they have no way of repaying the bonds, 70% are unable to enter high school. Investors are stunned, Mayo Hussien Clinton Jr. the fourth plans to investigate the racial implications of the renamed BMac. Naanakee Lovejoy Yellen promises to save the fast food industry with thousands of billions of zero interest loans. She’s doing it for the future of the country; she’s doing it for the children.
P.S. After 3 years of budget wars the Congress passes the ABA (At midnight on leap year) and declares all Burger War Bunds re-priced to market, at zero valuation. Because, "everyone has a constitutional right to a free lunch".
P. P. S. 5 years later the Supreme Court ruled the ABA (affordable burger act) was really a tax. If you could not send in a McD receipt with your tax return, you would be fined 1% of your annual income.
Nominated for Best Original Blog Entry in the fast food Sci-fi category.
"... a real nose-spiller..."
Start taking EBT
Issue McVisa credit cards.
Free prepaid cellphone minutes for every $20 you spend.
PayPal bonus credit
Gut the damn menu down to 10 items
Plenty of blood yet to squeeze from the serfs.
Their food sucks and is too expensive for what it is that is the problem, end of story
McDonald's has a good nick-name given to it by truckers - "THE PUKE".
Choke n' Puke has been around since a guy in my R&R band 'coined' the term back in the late 70s. I don't know where he heard it first, but I'll bet Petrodollars-to-donuts that that name has been around since Choke n' Pukes started up in the 50s.
I was working the road and desperate on Easter so I pulled into McD's for a Big Mac since it was Easter. Holy crap has that thing shrunk since the last one I had about twenty-five years ago. But not to worry, the new sirloin burger will save the day. One third pound of pink slime.