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Entire Treasury Department Competes For Same Goldman Sachs Job Opening
<satire>
Saying the company has received hundreds of résumés since posting the job opening to its website earlier this week, Goldman Sachs human resources manager David Browning reported Thursday that a high-level position with the investment bank had attracted applications from every official in the United States Treasury Department.
“Within just minutes of listing the open position on our jobs page, the flood of applications from treasury.gov email addresses started rolling in, and it hasn’t slowed down since,” said Browning, adding that most of the Treasury regulators who applied for the job highlighted their previous experience working closely with Wall Street financial firms and included a letter of recommendation from former Treasury Secretary Henry Paulson.
“All these applicants must realize what tough competition they’re up against, but at the same time, I remember how it was back when I was just another government official who was ready to make the move to the private sector. We’ll definitely keep the information of those candidates who don’t get the job on file for future openings.”
Browning added that the new hire was needed to take over the responsibilities of a former Goldman Sachs executive who had recently left for a high-ranking position in the Securities and Exchange Commission.
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sigh
I am posting an opening for apprentice guilliotine maker. I expect a deluge of applicants even though it's a unpaid apprenticeship.
Full regulatory capture rapidly escalates the speed & size of the massive, dizzyingly fast REVOLVING DOOR.
FDA
TREASURY
ATF
DHS
FRBNY
DoD
ETC ETC ETC
Just(US) Dept?
Every one of the asses should be dismissed with no pension. Sitting at their fucking desks with nothing to do but watch the help wanted adds. They can get fucked
Sitting at their fucking desks with nothing to do but watch the help wanted adds
Come on abused, don't be so hard on them. You know they do more than watch the help wanted ads, they watch porn too.
why is the <satire> tag there?
it's not far fetched anyway
I am a freelancer....
Where do I send my application?
Send it to:
www.itsabigclubandyouarenotinitsofuckoff.com
I do not have any guilliotine manufacturing experience. However, I am highly skilled in the Firing Squad area.
Dear Mr. Billy,
I saw your ad on Zero Hedge for a guillotine apprentice, and am writing to be considered for the position.
You will find I have plenty of energy for wrestling the banksters and politicians onto the bascule. I have experience operating many types of guillotines, including the Scottish Maiden, german Fallbeil, and of course the French configuration. Please find enclosed my letter of reference from Madame Defarge.
Sincerely,
James Wahooo
We all saw this coming. Try as they might, Onion satire is indistinguishable from something you'd expect from WSJ or Bloomberg.
Never occurrd to me it was the Onion until I read your comment -- that's how bad things are.
Love the Onion. One of my all time favs, "The Money Hole".
http://www.theonion.com/video/in-the-know-should-the-government-stop-dum...
Can't wait for The Onions take on Jade Helm: "An entire Texas county has been rounded up and taken to a FEMA Fun Camp to keep them safe from terrorists. Upon arrival, the campers were regaled with a spirited version of "California Dreaming", performed by Hillary C & The Progressives..."
You never know. With ISIS right across the border in Mexico all those Texicans along the border need to be saved.
Maybe we should drone them back to Democracy. Not ISIS, the Texicans.
With or without the Onion, I guessed you missed the <satire> at the beginning. Oops for you.
Me either. I guess I've become a cynical old man.
.
..
.
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FAT BOTTOMED GOLDMAN GIRLS
(FAT BOTTOMED GIRLS, QUEEN)
WilliamBanzai7
Are you gonna get bailed again tonight
Or will Uncle Sam put up a fight
Are you gonna let your trading book hang out
Fat Goldmangirl
You spin the world of finance upside down
[Riff]
Hey, I had just a skinny NAV
Never knew Wall Street good from Wall Street bad
But I knew life before I left my trader nursery
Left alone with bailout fanny
Lord such a royal mega scammy
Heap big bailout whore you made a schtupster out of me
Hey hey!
Ive been seeing bailout scams
Across the Bloomberg wire across the land
I seen every sorry financial floozy on the way
But their wily bailout guile
Went kind of smooth for quite a while
That lowdown squid bailout whore will screw you every time
Are you gonna get bailed again tonight?
Or will Uncle Sam finally put up a fight
Oh will you take em for all they got
FED bailout whore
You spin the world of finance upside down
[Interlude]
Hey listen here
Now you bloated bailout pig
Doin the Paulsen bailout bonus jig
Sure aint no T-B-T-F Queen in this locality (I tell you)
Oh but we still get some pleasure
Watchin Ben fish for subprime treasure
Heap bailout whore you make circus clowns of Holder, Frank and Bernanke
Now get this
Are you gonna get bailed again tonight?
Or will Uncle Sam put up a fight
Oh will you take em for all they got
FED bailout whore
Will you ever get out of town?
Get on your bailout bikes and ride....
[WB7: Dear Lloyd, Please don't ever resign...You are the most sorry and visible douche bag of a target we all could ever hope for.
Keep on rocking!
misogynist. How dare you?
Truthfully.....Hillary never looked better.
Ah........that's what happens when you put lipstick on a pig.
Powerful women should never be judged on their looks. Can I get a witness?
http://radixnews.com/wp-content/uploads/2015/02/Loretta-Lynch.jpg
"Sweet Loretta Martin thought she was a woman
But she was another man
All the girls around her say she's got it coming
But she gets it while she can
Get back, get back.
Get back to where you once belonged"
And, oh yeah, one application from Warburg-Pincus, signed Timmy G.
I freelance over th? internet and earn about 80-85$ an hour. I was without a job for 7 months but last month my paycheck with big fat bonus was $15000 just working on my computer from my home for 5-6 hours. Here's what i have been doing... www.globe-report.com
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Plutocracy!
no clintons.com?
References: Dick Cheney, Donald Rumsfeld, and Bill Clinton (in that order).
Cheney and Rumfeld worked on Wall Street?.....afraid they only take resumes from the liberals! Don't believe everything you read in the MSM
Those two are as connected to Big Oil, Big Pharma, the MIC and Wall Steet as you can get.
WTF are you talking about?
ever hear of the Carlyle Group?
turn off Faux news before its' too late for you.
Neoconservative lovers.
nazis
And speaking of the MSM:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bqAzYNaf47Y&list=PLo1C1b9Y18ZlAUEtVxYbuyrgu90qlEDtX&feature=player_embedded
what's the satire, i don't get it.
/s
Must have been an interesting job ad, let me guess " Cock sucker wanted "
Dicklick Beltway CockSucker Wanted!
There is a different u know..... Ask Spitzer!
being gubbermint employees they have the most experience working for the squid of anyone
Goldman Sachs own entire treasury department - conspiracy fact!
Arrest Lloyd Blankfein.
Free Jon Corzine!
U.S. Government Finanacial Regulator = Wall Street Intern
Is this article supposed to help Goldman's image?
I would say it backfired.
is that the sound of a revolving door?
Fiction this week, fact next week. The Onion can't even keep up. Bless them for trying, tho.
The Onion is the new news!
That joke isn't funny anymore.
http://endthelie.com/2012/04/18/18-venn-diagrams-showing-how-corrupted-a...
It's the shitscelator....shitty ol escalator that goes round and round yet only up.
New hire was needed to take over the responsibilities of a former Goldman Sachs executive who had recently a nail gun accident and fell from the top of 35 story building.
They're betting on a Hillary win. In that case, you'd want to be in GS with all the other muppet masters.
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The merger between the Treasury department and Goldman Sachs occurred a while ago.
All they need to do is change the signage on the buildings.
Just a matter of a transfer.
In other news, the US Government has an opening for a high level Treasury Department position. A flood of applicants from Goldman Sucks came in.
Ah, if only Freddy Mercury had stuck with the fat-bottomed girls. He would still be with us.
disgraceful