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Gartman Is Bullishly Bearish Of Stocks In Confused Terms
Once again proving, "you get what you pay for," world-renowned Dennis Gartman unleashes his own brand of indecipherable nonsense advice to stock traders this morning...
If stocks open higher this morning - and please remember that today is a holiday in so many places around the world beginning in Asia and continuing into Europe, although the markets in North America are open for we do not celebrate May Day here in the US or Canada, despite the left-ward lean in recent year in the Administration - we would expect that strength to perhaps hold and perhaps even to increase as the day progresses,
but certainly we’d not be a buyer of that strength
and perhaps even more certainly if we were long we’d be using any strength to reduce that size of that long position.
For the next few days and perhaps even for the next few weeks, strength is to be sold into; weakness is not to be bought
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And just in case we get a rip-roaring Friday short squeeze higher... here is the reason (from Gartman's CNBC appearance last night)...
"It's not going to get ugly bad; it's not going to get ugly for a long period of time. I think it's going to get ugly swiftly and I think it's going to make a lot of people very nervous,"
BUT
"It's still a bull market and as I've always said, in a bull market there's only three things you can do: be really long, be pleasantly long or be neutral. I think it's time to be neutral."
* * *
Got it? Trade accordingly
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I just got a headache....
Dennis Gartman and Bruce Jenner would make a very cute couple.
Not that I want to confuse anything.
"Up for the Downstroke"
Its nice to have your daughter a producer on Fast Money AINT it you dochebag crony POS
Classic 'old school' hilarity from the jewboy pinata who competes with 'Pedro' Bernanke himself for the title.
http://www.businessinsider.com/dennis-gartman-says-romney-will-win-2012-11
Gartman graduated Summa Cum Laude from the Alan Greenspan Academy of Economics.
He must have majored in left footed dancing.
Gartman looks like a Grateful Dead fan and probably dropped a massive dose of acid & ate a shroom before he came on to cam @ cnBSc to do that interview.
He'd better wipe that 'Cherry Garcia' off his chin or someone might think he sucked a circumcised cock to get his TV gig.
Gartman gets shit on his fingers when he wipes his ass and then sniffs his fingers and deduces he must have gotten good pussy last night.
She (the economy) is not ugly, just big boned.
Whats there to see? He has it all covered. Do people actually pay this guy for this? OMG!!
Well, basically it's going up...or down...or sideways...very quickly...or not.
Hope that helps.
DavidC
Thanks but no thanks
I'd rather pay the $19.95 to see Gartman in a cage fight with Dick Bove.
Thunderdome, better.
Two men enter, one man leaves.
We still get one less. It's win win.
so go short...got it!
Ugly bad or pleasantly long?
So far it has been badly pleasant, with an occasional long ugliness.
Refreshingly bilious.
Hucksters will huck, that's what they do. For far too long these useless fucking paper-pushers have been stealing from the productive sectors of the economy. Fuck em. At this point people can only hope these fuckers taste like chicken because that's the best the vast majority of the sheep can hope for (if they can find these asshats before they follow their stolen loot to some private island). Now, where's my popcorn?
Yeah, can't you picture him in the Old West, selling "medicine" out of his covered wagon like the guy in "The Outlaw Josey Wales"?
'If its so good Mister Carpetbagger....then YOU drink it!'
"How does it work on Stains?"
How's it work on Stains?
The CNBC tards deserve gartman.
No worries. There is a Fed working behind the curtain to make sure we don't end the week below 18,000 and 2100 on Dow and S&P, respectively.
You took the words right out of the Pinko Fascist Commie's mouth. How original of you!
So, is it a bull if it has no balls? You are bullish by being neutral? Somehow he sees selling into short term market strengh as being bullish?
Can we have a new market term that rests firmly between bull and bear? Can we call it "chicken"?
Ha. Gartman is, essentially, just CONFUSED. The only thing he's quite certain of is his conformity to the status quo...which is the 'essence' of confusion,
Gartman sounds like an addict with palpitations debating whether or not one two more lines would be best.
Anyone ever notice all the broken blood vessels in this fucktard's nose and cheeks?
does he recommend buying any ir spread products from goldman sachs?
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3XBDGZ-rL8E
That worthless old relic no one wants////
I wouldn't take it if you threw it at me.
Can I state it any plainer than that?
Do not leave it on my doorstep. I do not want it.
Is t because you cant afford it? or your just s a sheep? I would go with the latter.
oops, looks like i forgot that little /sarc tag.
Now please don't throw me in that brair patch.
People actually pay for this??.....
He is always so wishy washy so that he could say later "I told you so"......
I find it amazing that they let this crank open his hole after the fabulous advise he gave on "Fast Money" the day of the Twitter fiasco.
Actually it's quite appropriate...listen to this ass-hat and you loose your money fast.
"WE would anticipate some UPWARD DOWNISHNESS, and consequentlly WE would be LONG OF barf bags and pepto, as WE view this as an opportunity to continue being mentally lost in our own reality". Someone shoot him, or shoot me. Either works.
Down on the Upside
This market is becoming a burden in my hand. I would guess there is zero chance that Gartman is going to be right.
He always looks drunk.
Buy buy buy all the things hand over fist on margin, as long as stawks don't go down that should be a safe bet.
Thanks, Dennis.
Gartman needs to start sniffing moar glue...
I understand what he said. He probably meant the market is at its peak due to bullish sentiment. Very sensible. You don't think a market top is reached while the market is feeling bearish, do you?
Gartman reminds me of Cartman on South Park.
Is Gartman trying to make his appearance a comedy?
Gartman can join Cramer and make the show an even better circus.
Pudwhacker
Just remember kids:
1) A mortgage broker will only recommend you purchase one home ever. Owning two is a crazy gamble?
2) A healthcare director really only wants everyone to be healthy but somehow doesn't because if they don't get more numbers of sick people in the door it's a bad thing for business?
3) Electric companies sell you energy efficient appliances so you spend less on your electric bill which would be a good thing if you used less of what they sell? (Awesome business model).
4) It's only $5.00 to dig silver ore from a mine.
**Nothing is more dangerous than a surgeon with an empty operating table and a mortgage. Be safe.
It's a definite possibility Dennis.
I heard Gartman was the biggest Contrarian indicator in the Industry. I heard Yellen spoke to him and said "stop being a contrarian indicator as it makes the markets harder to rig." They agreed he would become neutral by mixing long and short, bid and offer, and strength and weakness in any sentence.
DISCLOSURE: I heard this story third hand.
Every day these guys come in with a new perspective and philosophy on the markets. Gartman looks like he developed his in a bar last night. I wonder, are they printing market guidance on the back of Jim Beam bottles these days?
The joy of all the "pundits" on CNBC is to watch them exhibit quite clearly that they don't have any clue what to do day to day in the markets. Thank god for all the money being plowed into long mutual funds by the working sheeple of America (who still believe that their defined contribution plan will allow them to live like the Donald in retirement), else Mr. Market (the Dow) might still be under 1K.
With guidance like that, how can you not make/lose money is bear/bull market by doing stuff/not doing stuff...
...ok, I think I got it now