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Alibaba Job Opening: "Code Monkey" Motivator Who Looks Like Porn Star

Tyler Durden's picture




 

In the past, Chinese e-commerce giant Alibaba has been praised for the degree to which its corporate culture promotes gender diversity. For instance, a third of the company’s founding partners are women and according to FT, women account for 9 out of the 30 partners who make key decisions. Here’s what CNN had to say about the company last year in an article entitled “The Women Of Alibaba Put Silicon Valley To Shame”:

The worst kept secret in Silicon Valley is that tech firms have a major gender diversity problem. At company after company, men dominate the top jobs.

 

But it's a different story at Alibaba, the Chinese tech company racing toward the largest and most-anticipated IPO of the year.

Alibaba gave investors more details about how the company works this week, revealing for the first time that one third of its 27 partners are 

women.

 

Some are founding partners, others have joined since and occupy top operational positions.

 

The company's chief financial officer is a woman. Chief customer officer? Chief people officer? The COO of its logistics business? Yep, all women.

“Yep.” And in an effort to keep the gender diversity spirit alive and well, the company is now hiring a woman for another key position: code monkey motivator. Ideal candidates will look like porn star Sora Aoi.

Via Bloomberg:

Alibaba Group Holding Ltd. withdrew a job advertisement seeking candidates who resemble a popular Japanese porn actress to motivate computer programmers after drawing criticism.

 

Asia’s biggest Internet company advertised on its website for applicants who know how to praise the “code monkeys,” wake them up and organize morning meetings. Physical characteristics similar to adult film star Sora Aoi may help the applicant succeed, it had said.

 

The ad comes as the U.S. tech industry is under fire for alleged sexism and discrimination. While Alibaba has drawn praise for the number of females employed in senior roles, the advertisement is being criticized on Chinese social media for being offensive.

 

“It’s not only an insult to women that such a job exists, it’s also an insult to men, especially programmers,” Li Weiyuan, a 26-year-old male and former programmer in Fujian, said by phone.

 

The posting was an attempt at humorous marketing to recruit talent, Alibaba said. While the company is still advertising for a programmer cheerleader, the reference to Sora Aoi has been removed and emphasizes that both men and women can apply.

 

“We apologize to anyone offended by this ad,” the Hangzhou, China-based company said in an e-mail. “Alibaba is committed to providing equal opportunity and fair treatment to all employees on the basis of merit, without discrimination.”

So while the company now claims that just any old "programmer cheerleader" will do, we imagine looking like Sora Aoi still wouldn't hurt which is why we've provided the following picture for anyone who thinks they might be a good candidate:

 

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Sun, 05/03/2015 - 12:24 | 6056394 Bighorn_100b
Bighorn_100b's picture

I wonder if they would hire a female Russian programmer?

Sun, 05/03/2015 - 13:01 | 6056492 Max Steel
Max Steel's picture

Jap pornstar looking russian can only be found in far east of russia .

Sun, 05/03/2015 - 13:19 | 6056515 Bangin7GramRocks
Bangin7GramRocks's picture

I would curl her pubes!

Sun, 05/03/2015 - 13:36 | 6056542 phaedrus1952
phaedrus1952's picture

Am I the only one that google imaged her to get the full Monty?

 

(The nude search is more ... revealing).

Sun, 05/03/2015 - 15:23 | 6056723 macholatte
macholatte's picture

 

Definitely not physical characteristics similar to Sora Aoi. 

Is it male, female or other?

 

Chinese developer leads transformation of L.A.'s skyline

http://www.latimes.com/business/la-fi-china-developer-chang-20150503-sto...

Mon, 05/04/2015 - 01:45 | 6057666 chumbawamba
chumbawamba's picture

I love it!

“It’s not only an insult to women that such a job exists, it’s also an insult to men, especially programmers,” Li Weiyuan, a 26-year-old male and former programmer in Fujian, said by phone.

They managed to find a male to interview for this article, and he just happened to be a former programmer.  What good fortune.

I am Chumbawamba.

Sun, 05/03/2015 - 13:45 | 6056563 Kirk2NCC1701
Kirk2NCC1701's picture

Ah, but do you have what it takes to curl her toes? 

;-)

Sun, 05/03/2015 - 14:22 | 6056645 SWRichmond
SWRichmond's picture

If they are willing to be that straightforward, why not just say "we need a fluffer"?

Sun, 05/03/2015 - 20:06 | 6057154 GMadScientist
GMadScientist's picture

Pretty sure the Ruski wants Sora's titties, not the fluffer gig.

Sun, 05/03/2015 - 13:02 | 6056497 clooney_art
clooney_art's picture

Career Progression at Alibaba:

 

Shit Sweeper --> Code Monkey ---> Goat Herder --> Fat Cat ---> Me So Horny.

Sun, 05/03/2015 - 17:49 | 6056959 j reuter
j reuter's picture

I'm making over $7k a month working part time. I kept hearing other people tell me how much money they can make online so I decided to look into it. Well, it was all true and has totally changed my life. This is what I do... http://goo.gl/e4mV9C

Sun, 05/03/2015 - 12:25 | 6056398 LAZARUS TAXON (not verified)
LAZARUS TAXON's picture

They can't take the ZH banner girl!

Sun, 05/03/2015 - 12:25 | 6056399 Skateboarder
Skateboarder's picture

Great, cuz you really needed that boner with your coffee in the morning.

Mon, 05/04/2015 - 06:30 | 6057762 Sanity Bear
Sanity Bear's picture

when a man's gotta stir in some milk and sugar...

Sun, 05/03/2015 - 12:25 | 6056400 Chuck Knoblauch
Chuck Knoblauch's picture

And the so-called feminists are silent.

Sun, 05/03/2015 - 12:28 | 6056408 globozart
globozart's picture

carefull with the lions...

Sun, 05/03/2015 - 12:35 | 6056426 Handful of Dust
Handful of Dust's picture

She's actually Japanese, not Chinese.

 

But that's ok; I'm not complaining. She's Prime Time material imo.

Sun, 05/03/2015 - 14:08 | 6056626 minosgal
minosgal's picture

Yeah, but...they're primarily discriminating against the male gender here. 

Sun, 05/03/2015 - 20:06 | 6057156 GMadScientist
GMadScientist's picture

Listen closely, you can hear their prayers for an actionable suit.

Sun, 05/03/2015 - 12:28 | 6056411 CarpetShag
CarpetShag's picture

"gender diversity"
Only transgenders need apply..

Sun, 05/03/2015 - 12:29 | 6056412 Consuelo
Consuelo's picture

Perhaps more than any other nation, Asian nations still understand that beneath all the touchy-feely PC crap it still remains, a Man's world.

Sun, 05/03/2015 - 12:29 | 6056414 pachanguero
pachanguero's picture

I live in Asia and this is why.    American women suck and act like bitches.  I date women 25 years younger and it keeps me young too. And the best part is I can always find a new one ready to roll.

 

 Suck on that......... Fem--a-Nazi's!

Sun, 05/03/2015 - 12:32 | 6056425 AIIB
AIIB's picture

I'm ready for........ SAILOR MOON!

Sun, 05/03/2015 - 12:30 | 6056415 thunderchief
thunderchief's picture

 

Where's the before and after pics of Sora?

Sun, 05/03/2015 - 13:01 | 6056494 Smegley Wanxalot
Smegley Wanxalot's picture

Fuck before and after.  I want pics DURING.

Sun, 05/03/2015 - 12:31 | 6056422 Downtoolong
Downtoolong's picture

So, what are the job qualifications? Could Sora Aoi get the job?

I call discrimination against ho's, especially those who look like Sora Aoi.

 

 

Sun, 05/03/2015 - 12:31 | 6056423 Yen Cross
Yen Cross's picture

 Nice ~ lead-in~ Tyler. ;-D

Sun, 05/03/2015 - 12:34 | 6056432 Bopper09
Bopper09's picture

"The company's chief financial officer is a woman. Chief customer officer? Chief people officer? The COO of its logistics business? Yep, all women."

In other words: this company will spend all of it's money, catfight with all customers, talk behind customers backs, and have no logical policies at all. 

Fuck is this world annoying.

Sun, 05/03/2015 - 12:34 | 6056433 Son of Loki
Son of Loki's picture

If Emily doesn't call, I may have to give this Sora Aoi, Code Monkey, a ring.

Sun, 05/03/2015 - 12:36 | 6056437 Polymarkos
Polymarkos's picture

I'll apply. I know how to motivate. Learned all about it from the English Royal Navy, circa 1750.

Sun, 05/03/2015 - 19:11 | 6057086 tarabel
tarabel's picture

 

 

The lash, rum, and sodomy.

Sounds more like a motivational position for that Dutch Guy around here.

Sun, 05/03/2015 - 12:39 | 6056442 LawsofPhysics
LawsofPhysics's picture

Always a market for hookers and blow...

same as it ever was...

Sun, 05/03/2015 - 12:43 | 6056450 q99x2
q99x2's picture

Sora Aoi

Hummm wonder what she looks like.


Sun, 05/03/2015 - 12:43 | 6056453 morongobill
morongobill's picture

Perhaps an action pic of her would have gotten more applicants.

Sun, 05/03/2015 - 12:44 | 6056456 Keynesians say ...
Keynesians say the darndest things's picture

Is code monkey slang for corporate overlord sex slave?

Sun, 05/03/2015 - 21:34 | 6057343 Matt
Matt's picture

The application isn't for a code monkey (programmer). It is for a Code Monkey Motivator (A Cheerleader to motivate the programmers in the morning).

Having a scantily clad attractive woman around will boost testosterone levels, resulting in increased competitiveness amongst male employees. Probably more useful for traders than coders, but who knows. Don't knock it till you tried it, I guess.

Sun, 05/03/2015 - 12:47 | 6056465 HowdyDoody
HowdyDoody's picture

That's the online persona. In reality he is a 40 year old balding nutjob living in his mom's basement.

Sun, 05/03/2015 - 12:50 | 6056476 Chris88
Chris88's picture

I think during earnings season I should have a pron star lookalike blow me under my desk to relieve tension.

Sun, 05/03/2015 - 12:57 | 6056487 papa song
papa song's picture

Cover your bases.  Hire only she-males.

 

Sun, 05/03/2015 - 13:15 | 6056488 Smegley Wanxalot
Smegley Wanxalot's picture

Code Monkeyspanker Motivator.

Sun, 05/03/2015 - 13:04 | 6056501 10044
10044's picture

where's banzai when you need him

Sun, 05/03/2015 - 13:16 | 6056510 homiegot
homiegot's picture

This is what they call a "fluffer" in the biz.

Sun, 05/03/2015 - 13:19 | 6056516 Downtoolong
Downtoolong's picture

Sexual discrimination will not be tolerated.

Still, having a job title of “Monkey Motivator is AOK.”

I call discrimination against chimpanzees, especiall those that look like Sora Aoi.

Sun, 05/03/2015 - 13:45 | 6056560 I Write Code
I Write Code's picture

I salute them using the title "code monkey".

Sun, 05/03/2015 - 13:49 | 6056571 JimmyRainbow
JimmyRainbow's picture

ask hot for words, maybe she is interested

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sUnt7D7M5IU

Sun, 05/03/2015 - 13:49 | 6056573 SubjectivObject
SubjectivObject's picture

Sora Aoi as a young girl

https://youtu.be/1G1_CgiXwNM

Good luck munky bois

Sun, 05/03/2015 - 13:59 | 6056588 Kirk2NCC1701
Kirk2NCC1701's picture

For many, porn charts and greed will do.

For everyone else, there are porn stars and lust.

Irrational Exuberance still works in either case, it seems. 

Sun, 05/03/2015 - 13:58 | 6056607 williambanzai7
williambanzai7's picture

Perhaps these unemployed Shanghai Models...

.

Sun, 05/03/2015 - 14:01 | 6056610 e_u_r_o
e_u_r_o's picture

damn!

Sun, 05/03/2015 - 14:04 | 6056619 Kirk2NCC1701
Kirk2NCC1701's picture

Fut you, J.A. Princess! 

Ancient Chinese proverb: "Beware of going out with J. Princess with a yeast infection.  All you'll get, is whine & cheese."

Sun, 05/03/2015 - 16:40 | 6056847 g'kar
g'kar's picture

Just curious, but what do those signs say?

Sun, 05/03/2015 - 19:22 | 6057099 Hulk
Hulk's picture

They say "looking for thigh masters, will pay top yuen" !!!

Sun, 05/03/2015 - 19:36 | 6057116 tarabel
tarabel's picture

They're protesting that they weren't hired to pose for the Shanghai Auto Show.

And they think they're dressed up as "beggars".

 

Sun, 05/03/2015 - 15:33 | 6056740 Conax
Conax's picture

"the reference to Sora Aoi has been removed and emphasizes that both men and women can apply."

They can apply, but they still need to look like Sora Aoi to get an interview. 

Affirmative Action for Asian porn queens. It's their money, so..

Sun, 05/03/2015 - 15:33 | 6056742 Niall Of The Ni...
Niall Of The Nine Hostages's picture

I hope I live to see the happy day when banksterism's ugly daughter feminism is thrown alive on her evil father's funeral pyre. It'll be worth it to see the world regain its sense of humour.

A prerequisite to having a sense of humour is being able to laugh at yourself. Women are invariably too self-absorbed and lacking in self-awareness to do anything of the kind. So, with very few exceptions, women don't have a sense of humour, and get angry when jokes are told at their expense by men who do.

Gratuitously spiteful and malicious remarks at the expense of women and men who annoy them? Female "comedians" make careers that way. Jokes that men find funny? Forget it.

My favourite example: No man who valued any human relationships would make jokes about female circumcision. Women crow and cackle with laughter when someone suggests cutting off the penis of a man too poor and white to be sexually attractive to them. Jokes my grandmother. Those are revenge fantasies only the sisterhood may entertain. 

Sun, 05/03/2015 - 16:16 | 6056808 JetsettingWelfareMom
JetsettingWelfareMom's picture

Reminds me of Craigslist posts--my husbands a bartender (not the naked variety either, which I think would be more funny and less arousing). Used to be we could find a Craigslist post actually looking for a real cocktail mixing bartender. Now they all want you to send photos, or have DDD breasts, or "phone in person only." This is a logical progression in a tight job market..at least as long as straight men are making the hiring decisions. ;-) 

Sun, 05/03/2015 - 16:28 | 6056835 401K of Dooom
401K of Dooom's picture

I want to see her in Neko-mimi!  Let's see her in all the standard Cosplay types of costumes that the Otaku love!   That way we can get a better idea of how the toiling programmers will react to her encouragment.  That and I can get some nice, juicy pics!  Heh heh heh heh.

Sun, 05/03/2015 - 16:52 | 6056860 hot sauce technician
hot sauce technician's picture

If you like your tech startup IPO code monkey cheerleader world you can keep it.

Sun, 05/03/2015 - 17:00 | 6056873 Nostradumbass
Nostradumbass's picture

Domo arigato.

Sun, 05/03/2015 - 19:08 | 6057079 tarabel
tarabel's picture

 

 

Send Bruce Jenner over there.

Sun, 05/03/2015 - 20:08 | 6057159 GMadScientist
GMadScientist's picture

The sound of 1 billion soft-ons.

Sun, 05/03/2015 - 20:07 | 6057158 GMadScientist
GMadScientist's picture

Perfect opportunity for a former porn starlet who was sidelined by say Herpes.

Tue, 05/05/2015 - 17:03 | 6063285 Sokhmate
Sokhmate's picture

If I was a code monkey, and the motivator woke me up for meetings and such, I'd expect her to be naked and ready for Bukkake. Only then would she a motivator.

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