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Dennis Gartman's Latest Trade Recommendation

Tyler Durden's picture




 

We wonder if Gartman's newsletter recently added a "purely for comic purposes" disclaimer because this is (and continues to be) nothing short of humor gold.

NEW RECOMMENDATION: We are sellers this morning of the Russell and we are buyers of the S&P, for the chart of the former is ominously bearish while the chart of the latter is interestingly bullish. We’ll do equal dollar sums on both sides of the trade and we’ll have a stop in tomorrow’s TGL, but for now we’ll not wish to see the trade more 2% against us and as we write the June Russell 2000 is trading 1222 and the June S&P is trading 2099.50.

And sure enough from the open: the "ominously bearish" RUT is up 0.7%, the "interestingly bullish" SP: +0.2%.

 

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Mon, 05/04/2015 - 09:52 | 6058224 keremetski
keremetski's picture

I recommend Pennis Shitman to suck my dick.

Mon, 05/04/2015 - 10:03 | 6058270 Oh regional Indian
Oh regional Indian's picture

Look...

When i enter a trade, I get a ? tIrade.....

When an i finds it's self in a genus (as a person who has found himself/herself), you get?

genIus....

Get at the root and then work up, weak foundations are looking to crack in this Apo-Calypso...

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rExEQwQZ428

Mon, 05/04/2015 - 10:11 | 6058293 Looney
Looney's picture

Dennis Gartman should hang himself on a bungee cord from the Brooklyn Bridge, while taking a selfie for his $19.99 a month newsletter. ;-)

Looney

Mon, 05/04/2015 - 10:18 | 6058314 SickDollar
SickDollar's picture

he is a spokesman for the Tribe

so please just do the opposite of what he says

 

Mon, 05/04/2015 - 09:55 | 6058236 oudinot
oudinot's picture

Off topic;  my dad told me, he is quite old, that Mark Zuckerberg is the grandson of David Rockefeller.

Is that true?

Mon, 05/04/2015 - 10:18 | 6058316 GMadScientist
GMadScientist's picture

Unlikely, a schmuckalovitz named Jacob Greenberg got arrested for holding pot and his mugshot looks like a skinhead version of Zuckerberg. The rest is meme.

Mon, 05/04/2015 - 09:56 | 6058244 cigarEngineer
cigarEngineer's picture

Some say he is Tim Stolper's uncle. Others say his nipple is in the shape of the S&P futures pit. All we know is, he's called The Gartman

Mon, 05/04/2015 - 10:19 | 6058318 GMadScientist
GMadScientist's picture

I heard the Gartman can take a shit that is an exact miniature replica of the Gartman.

Whooaaaaaa.

Tue, 05/05/2015 - 05:06 | 6061056 Magooo
Magooo's picture

I bet he got ridiculed and mocked as a child

 

Love how he gets all defensive whenever he gets called out on one of his never-ending wrong trade recommendations

 

Fucking arsehole

Mon, 05/04/2015 - 09:56 | 6058246 pachanguero
pachanguero's picture

Mouth piece for the NWO fuck him and that nasty whore Melissa Lee.  Communist assholes living off the people.

Mon, 05/04/2015 - 11:02 | 6058457 Vinz Klortho
Vinz Klortho's picture

Oh no, Merissa Ree have very sexy mouth.

She make boom-boom long time, very good.

Vinz

Mon, 05/04/2015 - 09:57 | 6058249 spastic_colon
spastic_colon's picture

Q - dennis what do you do to relax in your spare time?

 

Gartman - well I like to sit down with a big glass of scotch and listen to my wife play my favorite tunes on the jack-in-the-box to clear my mind.

Mon, 05/04/2015 - 09:57 | 6058250 NoDebt
NoDebt's picture

I don't care what anybody says, this Gartman guy is no Tom Stolper.  You could set your watch by Stolper.  This guy accidentally makes contact with the ball every now and then which makes him incredibly dangerous.

Mon, 05/04/2015 - 10:00 | 6058257 Fun Facts
Fun Facts's picture

Have they come out with the gartman inverse ETF yet ?

Lot of money to be made there.

Mon, 05/04/2015 - 12:29 | 6058740 roadlust
roadlust's picture

Or the "Gartman Indicator." 

Mon, 05/04/2015 - 10:21 | 6058268 globozart
globozart's picture

Excuse me. More details. Where is his stop? How should I do the Anti Gartman Stolper ETF if I don't know his stoploss? I need to set exit targets for the trade.

Mon, 05/04/2015 - 10:59 | 6058447 schadenfreude
schadenfreude's picture

2% is his stoploss, if I interpret this correctly. Why does he speak from "we" ? Pluralis Majestatis?

Mon, 05/04/2015 - 11:10 | 6058480 globozart
globozart's picture

True. Fineprint. Thanks.

But I found no "we".

Mon, 05/04/2015 - 10:03 | 6058271 g'kar
g'kar's picture

Another famous quote from Gortman, "Klaatu Barada Nikto".

Mon, 05/04/2015 - 10:20 | 6058323 GMadScientist
GMadScientist's picture

Sorry, makes no sense. "Take me to your leader" only applies if they didn't install the sumbitch. ;)

Mon, 05/04/2015 - 14:58 | 6059290 g'kar
g'kar's picture

It makes even less sense than that. Gort(man) didn't say it, Helen Benson (Patricia Neal) did. "Gort, Klaatu Borada Nikto" after Klaatu (Michael Rennie) was shot and the robot carried him off to the temporary rejuvenation machine in the ship. 

 

Nothing makes sense these days, so why should I bother to try.

Mon, 05/04/2015 - 10:04 | 6058277 t0mmyBerg
t0mmyBerg's picture

thats kind of funny.  i dropped my tgl subscription 4 or 5 months ago.  and i made a bunch of money last month doing the opposite trade, long S&P 500 and short russell 2000.  bought 6 s&p for every 5 russell sold.  had a beautiful chart where the pair came right up and kissed the trendline resistance which had formerly been support.  as to this reco it may or may not work.  i also noticed the pair did not trade much with the dollar as one might have expected.

Mon, 05/04/2015 - 10:04 | 6058278 pndr4495
pndr4495's picture

Analysis schmenalysis - HFT makes both technical and fundamental meaningless.

Mon, 05/04/2015 - 10:14 | 6058302 philosophers bone
philosophers bone's picture

Gartman doesn't even know the difference between "interestingly bullish" and "pleasantly bullish".  What an amateur.

Mon, 05/04/2015 - 10:21 | 6058327 GMadScientist
GMadScientist's picture

The difference is measured in inches and the lack or presence of lube.

Mon, 05/04/2015 - 10:30 | 6058355 philosophers bone
philosophers bone's picture

Thank you for clarifying.  Just confirmed my Perma-Bear status.

Mon, 05/04/2015 - 10:21 | 6058324 Bay Area Guy
Bay Area Guy's picture

Guess large caps are about to drop and small caps are about to pop.

Mon, 05/04/2015 - 10:22 | 6058331 GMadScientist
GMadScientist's picture

You get partial credit, pun intended.

Mon, 05/04/2015 - 11:11 | 6058483 bobert727
bobert727's picture

I think he forgot to mention he is "short of the Russell in Euro terms" and "long of the S&P in Thai Bhat terms"

Mon, 05/04/2015 - 11:24 | 6058514 Haka Matohi
Haka Matohi's picture

Yeah, but WWJCD?

What would Jim Crammer do?

Mon, 05/04/2015 - 12:08 | 6058672 saveUSsavers
saveUSsavers's picture

" and... I am LONG of BULLSHIT (and I get paid for it)

Mon, 05/04/2015 - 12:13 | 6058685 Turdy Brown
Turdy Brown's picture

This guy is such an ass clown!

Tue, 05/05/2015 - 05:04 | 6061055 Magooo
Magooo's picture

Dennis 'I am always wrong therefore I exist' Gartman.

 

How does this clown remain in business?   Who would give him money to manage?

 

Better still, who would give anyone money to manage when nobody has beaten the S&P over the past 6 years?

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