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Dogbert Explains 'Diversification' In Today's Market
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Or maybe the Least Mad Cow Theory?
Least Mad Cow Theory
Clinton, Yellen or Polosi? I am confused.
thats becasue you need to put them all inside one chinese dragon suit to get the one mad cow
Fuck that cow!! And the pelosi it rode in on.
My mother rode a cow once. We have photos.
It's not that exciting.
Wait, didn't Hillary make a killing on her understanding of cattle futures? I guess it takes one to know one. She's one of those cows with cud that could. /sarc
My last pay check was $9500 working 12 hours a week online. My sisters friend has been averaging 15k for months now and she works about 20 hours a week. I can't believe how easy it was once I tried it out. This is what I do... www.jobs-review.com
My last pay check was $180 trillion working 12 minutes a week on my couch. My sisters friend has been averaging 4 blow jobs an hour for months now; she can keep it up for days on end. I can't believe how easy it was once I tried it. This is what I do...www.blowjobs-rinse-repeat.wow
My sister came home from whoring with $270.25. I asked her who gave her the quarter. She said, "Everybody."
Wait, I know your sister. She ain't got no friends.
I feel a fart building up!
yay ... fart stories are the best !
Ok Rainman, did I ever tell you the difference between a fart and a fizzle? The fart (on its way out) travels around the turd, the fizzle travels through the turd! Much more potent!
thanx ... I learns somethin interesting everyday.
Then, whats a Shart?
The fed will buy the securitized diseased cows.
I only want the top tranche.
Sorry McDonalds has dibs
Morningstar: "We've never seen a better performing or safer fund than this. Wheres that AAA stamp at?"
Makes sense. And I think Virtu does that.
can a playa get a sick cow cdo up in heya?
Speaking of diversification.... nowhere to hide today. Stocks, bonds, dollar, gold.... all going the same direction. Only oil is up (which should be unequivocally good for the US economy according to the Tylers).
nay, sick-cow breath, vix-calls are up today too. yee-haw.
Gartman is very bullish oil, so we know where thats going.
Yellen really pissed in the cheerios today.
30 minute rescue operation underway on the Dow...
im betting a triple digit loss will not be allowed by the close......
what did i tell u....
http://www.marketwatch.com/investing/index/DJIA
bingo. nailed it.
How did you know!?
A) Im a genius....
or
B) These fucking markets r a complete manipulated fucking joke....
your on the clock Al....
Don't know why thought of this...
Kyle: It's not cheating if you spread peanut butter on your balls and let your dog lick it off.
Kyle: Because it's your dog.
Rubin: Jesus Christ!
Kyle: You know, because it's YOUR dog, get it?
Rubin: Yeah, we've got it.
I thought you said your dog did not bite.
That is not my dog!
Acerbic: Guilty by Non-Association
If you have placed yourself at the beginning of an empire phase, with no privacy intrusion, and you and your spouse are both putting in 10%, at combined wages 4X rent, by how much should you increase participation and when, for each child, to maintain the required slip, torque and speed?
A motor is a motor is a motor, whether it is connected by a wire rope, an electrical circuit or an idea. Being an expert button pusher, computer programmer or healthcare controller isn’t going to get anyone anywhere without a motor, and marriage is the motor, regardless of all the noise in empire event horizons to the contrary.
Feudalism is just the counterweight, crony capitalism, socialism and communism, in a distribution, which hasn’t changed in thousands of years, replacing parents and blaming them for the symptoms, of breeding ponzi slaves, a natural disaster always waiting to happen. GDP is nothing more than a make-work accounting activity, simulating increasing return on decreasing risk, until the actuarial ponzi implodes and the middle class goes to war, with itself.
The President is no more powerful than the person serving you a Big Mac.
Any group of monkeys can clear-cut a forest, and any ape employing them can keep a percentage of the wood, to sell back to the monkeys at an increasing rate of inflation when there is no wood. At economic discharge, with labor shorted out by technology, where must the counterweight begin, how much must it be over-weighted, and what happens to car capacity?
Ignoring BS GDP natural resource exploitation noise, what is happening to income disparity and wealth distribution in the real world, beyond the gravitational black hole in the global city?
You can’t piss away half your life on RE inflation, in exchange for natural resource exploitation, and provide for your children, which is required by equal rights under the law, always voted for by the majority, to massively subsidize Family Law. Fed margin leveraging Smartphone accounting profit is not an economy; it’s a surveillance system. Polling monkeys and apes is no way to design infrastructure.
Feudalism has no past, no future, and no present, except as a reference voltage, created by a circle jerk, of which there is no shortage. DNA is simple math, but it is a derivative, as is the language of artificial emotion, now trying to implement artificial intelligence, with a totally integrated, but irrelevant, cloud, over the senses of the senseless.
The majority, of all stripes, voting to print itself money and a minority to chase it, with decreasing return on increasing time, doing stupid, and threatening to take children for non-compliance, hiding behind revolving political scapegoats, hired for the purpose, is new how?
Capital employs the middle class to replace labor with technology, a derivative of labor, with a credit access multiplexer to filter outcomes, relative to each other. Labor doesn’t care because it can discount rent at will and place it on the other side of the fulcrum. Capital hates that, but as a derivative itself, has no say in the matter. All goes well, until capital induces the middle class to become a landlord, temporarily, destroying itself.
Despite every attempt to convict labor of a crime, after the fact, to justify its behavior, the State has failed to do so, for many decades, in all of which RE inflation has swamped wage gain. Under such circumstances, you travel the forest and collect skills. When the polarity reverses, at natural quantum threshold, which it always does, you start cutting down trees, to build your family a house.
Regardless of job, I have far more skills and knowledge than anyone around me, and I don’t care about the lack of pay differential, because I like my job, until the critters interfere with my family, and I cut the load, which I lifted up an exponential knowledge curve, far beyond the empire.
If we were created equal, life would not exist. Equal outcomes is not equal opportunity, except in the minds of the senseless. Where were you, when there was work to be done?
Dr Corey! You're back from the dead and using more sofiticated words too!
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Irwin_Corey
Jesus was known for what he did, not what he said. The Cardinals decided what he said, for the Pope, for the King, so the Empire could stay afloat, slaves betting on slaves to kill slaves.
When God gives you lemons, make lemonade.
"When God gives you lemons, make lemonade."
Or the extremely profitable F-35
>Where were you, when there was work to be done?
On a beach drinking pina coladas? What sort of answer are you looking for here?
An oldie, but a goodie ...
You have two cows ...
Socialism
You have 2 cows. You give one to your neighbor.
Communism
You have 2 cows. The State takes both and gives you some milk.
Fascism
You have 2 cows. The State takes both and sells you some milk.
Nazism
You have 2 cows. The State takes both and shoots you.
Bureucratism
You have 2 cows. The State takes both, shoots one, milks the other and then throws the milk away
Traditional Capitalism
You have 2 cows. You sell one and buy a bull. Your herd multiplies and the economy grows. You sell them and retire on the income.
American Capitalism
You have 2 cows. You sell one, and force the other to produce the milk of four cows. Later, you hire a consultant to analyze why the cow has dropped dead.
Enron Venture Capitalism
You have 2 cows. You sell three of them to your publicly listed company using letters of credit opened by your brother-in-law at the bank, then execute a debt/equity swap with an associated general offer so that you get all four cows back, with tax exemption for five cows. The milk rights of the six cows are transferred via an intermediary to a Cayman Island Company secretly owned by the majority shareholder who sells the rights to all seven cows back to your listed company. The annual report says the company owns eight cows, with and option on one more. You sell one cow to buy a new president of the United States, leaving you with nine cows. No balance sheet provided with the release. The public then buys your bull.
Andersen Model Capitalism
You have 2 cows. You shred them
French Capitalism
You have 2 cows. You go on strike, organize a riot and block the roads because you want 3 cows.
Japanese Capitalism
You have 2 cows. You redesign them so they are 1/10 the size of an ordinary cow and produce twenty times the milk. You then create a clever cow cartoon image called Cowkimon and market it worldwide.
German Capitalism
You have 2 cows. You re-engineer them so they live for 100 years, eat once a month and milk themselves.
Italian Capitalism
You have 2 cows, but you don t know where they are. You decide to have lunch.
Russian Capitalism
You have 2 cows. You count them and learn that you have 5 cows. You count again and learn you have 42 cows. You count again and learn you have 2 cows. You open another bottle of vodka.
Swiss Capitalism
You have 5000 cows. None of them belong to you. You charge the owners for storing them.
Chinese Capitalism
You have 2 cows. You have 300 people milking them. You claim that you have full employment and high bovine productivity. You arrest the newsman who reports otherwise.
Indian Captialism
You have 2 cows. You worship them.
British Capitalism
You have 2 cows. Both are mad.
Iraqi Capitalism
Everyone thnks you have many cows. You tell them you have none but they don t believe you and bomb the shit out of your country. You still have no cows but at least you are part of a democracy
New Zealand Capitalism
You have 2 cows. The one on the left is looking pretty sexy..
Australian Capitalism
You have 2 cows. Business seems good. You close the office and go for a few celebratory beers.
Latvian Capitalism...
You have two potatoes. Premise ridiculous. Who have two potato?
Brilliant, metastar. I haven't laughed so hard in weeks. Thank you.
Nice updates on the classic! Let me try.
Obama Capitalism
You have two cows. You pay $800/month for their health care. When one gets sick you can't afford the deductibles so you kill it and throw away the meat, and now that the healthcare costs for the remaining cow are just $700/month you brag about the savings.
Bernanke Capitalism
You print four trillion cows, then blog about the ungrateful public that demands meat and milk that remain unavailable.
Hillary Capitalism
You delete both cows for personal reasons but still come out $100,000 ahead on the deal.
Everything on fight club can be distilled down to this post.
Guess my short position on leather and feathers might pan out
Bumper Sticker Guru: You can tune a fork with a cow in the road but you can't tune a fish.
You can tune a piano but you can't tuna fish.
Rumen backed securities hedged with Sirloin default swaps.
How can I ever trust Dogbert? Everyone knows the fear scare of the week is diseased poultry.
BTFD - Buy The Fucking Disease
Yes, I just saw where workers are being Laid off from the Diseased Poultry Farms.
I guess that answers the question of why did the chicken cross the road.
Cause he was hooked on quack.. Dadadump...