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Introducing Hotel ISIS: Have Fun, But Don't 'Lose Your Head'
Over the past year, the world has learned quite a bit about ISIS, the once obscure band of CIA-trained, Qatar-funded, marauding Muslim militants whose Cinderella story saw the group transform themselves from Syrian proxy war puppets to barbarous pseudo-state conquerors in the space of nine short months. We’ve learned, for instance, that the group are avid Twitter users, which is why they felt especially betrayed when the social network began suspending members’ accounts, prompting the group to warn co-founder Jack Dorsey that ISIS “lions” would be arriving in short order to “take his breath.” We’ve also learned that despite proving themselves extraordinarily capable when it comes to producing near Hollywood-quality videos, the group struggles when it comes to creating a social network from scratch. Finally, we’ve come to understand that despite the group’s tough guy posturing, most members have a soft spot for kittens and enjoy a spoonful of Nutella now and again.
And so, as the CIA prepares to train the next group of “moderate” Syrian rebels who may or may not become the successor to ISIS much as ISIS did to al-Qaeda, and as Texans ponder “lone wolves” and false flags, we present ISIS first-ever venture into the hospitality industry. Behold! Hotel ISIS...
This was once the 262-room, five-star Ninawa International Hotel in Mosul, Iraq:
It is now being reopened under new ownership...
...who are working diligently to give the hotel a fresh new look…
...while tending to the grounds…
...trimming the hedges…
...and waxing the floors…
As you can see, the group expended quite a bit of effort to get the building ready for opening night which was reportedly on May 1. All Muslims were told they could attend the event free of charge and as The Independent reports, ISIS even put on a fireworks show at the end of the night:
Pictures circulated by Isis-affiliated social media accounts show members tending to a well-maintained garden, polishing floors and cleaning windows, expansive swimming pools and two black Isis flags flying at the front of the multi-storey building.
The hotel is believed to be the Ninawa International Hotel, which received a number of positive reviews on TripAdvisor before being overtaken by militants and stripped of its branding. It has 262 rooms, two restaurants, two ballrooms and a gymnasium, among other facilities.
Images from the event show dozens gathered around pools during the day, followed by a firework display in the evening.
So while there's plenty of fun to be had at this former five-star establishment, you'd be wise not to go overboard or otherwise 'lose your head' because well... you might lose your head. Here's SputnikNews:
Alas, the jihadists have prohibited their guests from dancing, smoking, gambling and other "sins"; women, visiting the hotel, should be dressed in accordance with strict Sharia laws – head-to-toe in black.
Those who violate the Islamic rules are at risk of being decapitated, while ISIL's infamous female police al-Khansaa will keep an eye on guests to ensure observance of Islamic values and practices.
For those interested in making the trip to Mosul, we have not yet been apprised of the best way to make reservations, but we'll be sure to keep an eye on Expedia for the best deals.
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"Are you a terrorist"
"No, but I did stay at the Hotel ISIS last night"
Looks like they're getting ready for a presidential visit...
Does anyone know Obama's itinerary?
DaddyO
Last thing I remember
I was running for the door
I had to find the passage back to the place I was before
I understand from TripAdvisor they actually charge you an arm and a leg for room service and the pool filter frequently clogs from all the hair.
Otherwise the tiki bar is fully stocked with goat milk & tea served up by former virgin Christian slave girls.
Whats not to love? ;-)
Fuck me, nmewns, when I used to travel to Saudi in the 70's on business the 5 star hotels then were kinda "sterile".
In one of em' they had an elaborate tile inlaid map of the world, actually quite a beautiful piece all things considered and where Israel was, a piece of paper with Palestine written on it in black marker.
So on the way home once, the Devout His Hignenesses and their many wives used to crowd the first class section. (My employer at the time was very good about long distance travel arrangements) And one time I get up to take a piss, the door lock says "vacant", I open it and what to my wondering eyes should appear but a stunningly gorgeous Saudi babe in high heels, hose, a garter belt and matching bra and panties, putting on her makeup for disembarkation in London. And a silk mini dress on a hanger. Yes, the Devout.
And once outa Saudi airspace, you could hear the champagne corks pop and the scotch flowed freely.
No difference in the moral fiber of the Devout than our own Godless leaders.
All Kabuki Theater to Enslave the Masses
Like flying out of Salt Lake City.
Tonight's lucky fortune cookie numbers courtesy of the Great Eye of Horace China Palace
18 19 36 40 45 48
"No Tickie, No Fly Lice"
Ali the Eunuch will not be pleased with your reportage there knuk's...lol.
Yes, thats the way its always been with this bunch, combining religion with state has always been a bad idea, they are completely separate things. Trying to supplant religion with the state (like the commies tried) is an equally bad idea.
But the statist-oligarchs never tire of trying different variations ;-)
Many years ago, I dated an Iranian/Persian woman for a while, who fit the description you just provided.
She had a great Persian rug and cat, for lounging and petting.
Kirk you devil...ain't the space gals enough? Give a guy a chance! ;)
The most devout and conservative are poor and middle class, the most decadent are the wealthy (unless they are very bourgeois).
Wealth tend to corrupt morality and lifestyle.
Why yes , he will be sucking cocks at the 19th green this weekend.
Hotels.com gives ISIS Hotel-Mosul five crescent moons ;-)
Obama is in Portland/PDX today, and at Nike in Hillsboro tomorrow.
And yet we the US and Israel haven't gone chimp to take these guys out. Thats because we trained these idiots and we are using them for a reason.
Blow that shit up.
Why would the FED want to destroy one of its investments?
“We had been hopelessly labouring to plough waste lands; to make nationality grow in a place full of the certainty of God… Among the tribes our creed could be only like the desert grass – a beautiful swift seeming of spring; which, after a day’s heat, fell dusty.”
-- T.E. Lawrence, Seven Pillars of Wisdom: A Triumph
NeoXXXs just don't know there history, or worse think they are different and no subject to it's rhyme.
#41
Hot dogs and a parade for the 4th of July?
Wearing Roman sandals while operating a floor buffer is stupid......
That's a floor sander and he's the hotel toenail manicurist. "Grind your toenails Mo?"
Getting that shit ready for the CIA's annual holiday party
This new hotel should do better than their "Mecca Motel" and "Intifada Inn" franchises.
lol, nice work Ralph
Can't wait to see what their theme parks are gonna look like.
The guillotine log ride at the water park should be very entertaining. Convert or Die Falls sounds particularly intriguing.....
Ok, that's pretty good you guys. I thought maybe some 8 year old could win some serious cutlery, or an AK-47, playing "Wack-an-Infidel" but you guys are way ahead of me.
I heard they do have Six Flags, but all of them are black.
Fatwah World
Mr. Mohammeds Wild Ride
Pirates of Somalia
RPG Test Track
It's a Somalia World (who wouldn't volunteer to blow themselves up to get that fucking song outta their head)
well, we have come a long way baby.
eddy bernays would certainly be proud.
today i heard some radio commentary
declaring , in the usa, we need to
be at least ambivalent concerning the
tremendous contribution of the project
paper clip nazis for getting "us" to the moon.
saturn5, v1 and all that great rocket science.
oh lordy, say it again brother. was that npr?
who cares?
.
but , the hot el. hot hell situation, ongoing ...
do guests pay in dollars? what?
.
The Eagles Hotel California [Remastered] 01 Hotel California
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Yyy4yaVwsv0
isis fishing for CIA and Saudi opperatives?
I'd like a goat blood virgin Mary with celery please. BTW, I'd like a camel piss chaser as well.
what is this fishing you
refer to? fish eat fish,
i don't call that fishing.
is it just the essence of
original feeding, gastro become linguistic,
sustenance in conflict.
=politics and the so trained
and changed minds that proffer
it all, the "living the dream".
anyway ....
Does this mean I won't find Gideon's Bible in the bedside drawer?
Why would you stay there, to sharpen your knife and check your C.I.A. email?
It's currently the only hotel running the Beheading Channel which is on 24/7.
When are we going to drop a MOAB on that fucker? Adios madre!
We know who rebuilt that
Well no, you didn't rebuild that.
Ha, ha... Looks Pretty Nice! How much for a room?
Whoa... Hijo de Puta! What the Fuck, run by Maricones? No "dancing, smoking, gambling and other "sins"; women, visiting the hotel"? Faggots, I tell you! A "Hotel" for Faggots, run by Faggots!
Yeah... It looks really inviting. You get a free blood stained apron with every visit.
Have you seen "The Hostel -both renditions"?
They show remastered 3 D copies 24/7, Photoshopped such that all the dead and dying are Christian and Jewish children on the kiddies channel out by the pool
The Excorcist - Your mother sucks cocks in hell
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rxofWN8BAoc (0:11)
I attribute that movie to a former good friend of mine losing touch with all reality. Of course, the blotter acid prolly had sumpin to do with it too...lol.
He never was right in the head to begin with (as in balanced, focused, compassionate) though a helluva guy to hang out with, blue-eyed long blonde hair, opiniated, smart, played the guitar, developing an ego outsizing the young man he was, after that all bets were off.
I suppose there was something always deep down in there, never could get him back after that.
A word to the wise kiddies, don't do it if you can't pay the ferry man his price ;-)
Eagles - Hotel California - Live in Washington D.C. 1977
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Mj1i_yx5BV0
.
the Reagan revolution permutations continue to
"evolve"(pervert and permute) in broad daylight.
.
so what is the music played at the new hotel
in Mosul? it better be good
I love there ISIS guys. I cannot wait for Sharia to come to America! Yeah! GO!
http://www.billionbibles.org/sharia/america-sharia-law.html
Does it come with CNN?
People are weird.
you got that right.
.
1134 The Inspiration for Hotel California
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YubgQc_ovOo
How do those ISIS guys maintain their "beer bellies"?
Jonestown of The Middle Kingdum...
The same way the teetotaling baptists do after they attend a promise keepers convention.
Sgt. Shultz style. I know nothing.
WB7, can you take the ISIS flag and flip it. No comment needed. It looks like three guys shagging sheep. Thank you. That should shut the motherfuckers up. winks
Do girls not have to wear a full cover in ISIS-stan? Check out the third picture.
I've long suspected that the whole ISIS is a strict religious Sharia group meme we are told to believe is bullshit, just like everything else they tell us to believe.
http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-3072731/Hidden-cactus-cameras-fr...
Stumbled upon the ISIS weapons page...wow, golly, they are really advancing their equipment!
http://efni.org/weapon.htm
AlahAcbar Snack Shack looking to do a public IPO, the ticker symbol will be ASS!
First on the menu rosy cheeks
All Muslims were told they could attend the event free of charge...
Yeah, but they scalp everyone else.
Vacation's over. We'd better beheading back now.
Well what do you know......know we have something we can blow the fuck up!
One cruise missile would knock it out but why do that? ISIS is CIA/Mossad
If true, that would be why.
ISIS parades in broad daylight in New Toyotas and white shoes. beheading people (supposedly) but the USA does nothing.
That should tell you all you need to know. but then again, Americans can't add 2 plus 2.
There is so much dis, dys, dis-information out there, I stay open. You are probably right, I joke about it too, some of the stuff they come up with is so fake (like how we just kneel there calmly for our beheadings).
Or it's worse and you and I are not privy to the real information we would need to figure it out.
The insult always helps you win your arguement, it adds so much to your case, keep up the good work. Just like I added to mine there vs. having the class to just leave you alone about it.
You call it insult , I call it observation.
You call it insult , I call it observation.
exactly. porbably US funds helped build that Hotel....funneled through the CIA
Hotel Caliphornia?
Shariaton?
Do they accept Gold ?