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New Russian High-Tech Tank Suffers BSOD Moment During Army Parade

Tyler Durden's picture




 

Russia unveiled its new main battle tank as part of practices for Saturday's Victory Day parade (commemorating the end of WWII). According to RT, the Armata "is a cutting-edge vehicle with an unmanned turret armed with a brand new 125 mm smoothbore cannon, which is the most powerful gun of its kind to date in terms of muzzle energy." You decide...

Of course, the painful 40 seconds could be seen as an anology for The Fed's effort to revive The US Economy.


 

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Thu, 05/07/2015 - 15:10 | 6070040 Jack Burton
Jack Burton's picture

That is why parades are practiced before the big day.

Thu, 05/07/2015 - 15:11 | 6070046 macholatte
macholatte's picture

 

In other news…..

 A Multinational Trojan Horse: The Trans-Pacific Partnership

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/dave-pruett/a-multinational-trojan-ho_b_7216416.html

 

 

Extreme secrecy eroding support for Obama's trade pact

Classified briefings and bill-readings in basement rooms are making members queasy.

http://www.politico.com/story/2015/05/secrecy-eroding-support-for-trade-pact-critics-say-117581.html

 

 

Was Baltimore just another distraction?

You never let a serious crisis go to waste. And what I mean by that it's an opportunity to do things you think you could not do before.

Rahm Emanuel

 

 

Thu, 05/07/2015 - 15:13 | 6070071 pods
pods's picture

What's the Russian phrase for "You got the fucking thing in gear!"

pods

Thu, 05/07/2015 - 15:14 | 6070078 kaiserhoff
kaiserhoff's picture

Subcontracting parts from

  La France;)

Thu, 05/07/2015 - 15:21 | 6070091 crazytechnician
crazytechnician's picture

French tanks only have one gear: Reverse.

Thu, 05/07/2015 - 15:35 | 6070145 Oh regional Indian
Oh regional Indian's picture

Serious drivetrain mangle, or the guy had it in gear. Otherwise, no way a tank could nto just pull the daylights of another tank.

Just so everyone knows, we are in the early phase of what promises to be an intense Mercury(Planet Ruling Communication)  Retrograde (real world impact: mangled communications and communications devices) from the 18th of May till 13th June.

We'll see a lot of global mis-understandings coming up, a more glaring divergence of view-points.

And similarly fractally in our lives. Speaking from 15 years of observation.

MEanwhile,

Flute: Sequence 16

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QKrzijChaYM

Thu, 05/07/2015 - 15:40 | 6070175 msmith9962
msmith9962's picture

They start it that way.  Get it up to ten or so then let the clutch out.

Thu, 05/07/2015 - 15:56 | 6070260 bania
bania's picture

Marching band should have broke out into the Benny Hill theme music

Thu, 05/07/2015 - 16:08 | 6070289 daveO
Thu, 05/07/2015 - 16:54 | 6070477 Headbanger
Headbanger's picture

Those idiots should have had Pussy Riot ready to do their topless gig on that broken tank while beutiful Russian girls hand out free bottles of Russian Standard Vodka.

DA!

Thu, 05/07/2015 - 17:14 | 6070547 3.7.77
3.7.77's picture

And the band played on, gonna need a bigger tow tank comrade.

Thu, 05/07/2015 - 17:25 | 6070580 Citxmech
Citxmech's picture

Smoothbore?  It the projectile fin-stabilized?

Thu, 05/07/2015 - 17:36 | 6070611 Beam Me Up Scotty
Beam Me Up Scotty's picture

"They start it that way.  Get it up to ten or so then let the clutch out."

Its called "popping the clutch".  :)

Thu, 05/07/2015 - 18:28 | 6070785 AIIB
AIIB's picture

What happened to the EAT ME birthday cake & the Faber head statue hood ornament?

Thu, 05/07/2015 - 19:00 | 6070870 knukles
knukles's picture

I like the racing stripes on the side and the dude's hat with the puffy things .... looks like a StarTrek character's skull.

Thu, 05/07/2015 - 20:21 | 6071095 nmewn
nmewn's picture

Yeah, all they needed was an advertisement for Stoli vodka...lol.

What a hangover, someones head will roll though ;-)

Thu, 05/07/2015 - 21:00 | 6071227 Joe Davola
Joe Davola's picture

Obviously they didn't contract Dynatechnics Incorporated and their big brained engineer Wylie Cooper!

Thu, 05/07/2015 - 22:53 | 6071573 Lurk Skywatcher
Lurk Skywatcher's picture

If it was an American plane then half the world would be placing orders after watching that.

Thu, 05/07/2015 - 23:13 | 6071646 Stuck on Zero
Stuck on Zero's picture

If I'm not mistake the F-35 can knock out ten of these tanks at a time.  If you could get the F-35 to work and if the Russians could get their tanks to start.

Fri, 05/08/2015 - 00:27 | 6071798 angel_of_joy
angel_of_joy's picture

You ARE mistake(n)...

Fri, 05/08/2015 - 00:40 | 6071806 NidStyles
NidStyles's picture

Every new vehicle that overloaded with electronics has it's growing pains. The F22 was a nightmare. the current Abrams were as well. The Abrams turbine engine is probably as expensive as that tanks entire chassis, minus the turret though..

Fri, 05/08/2015 - 05:40 | 6072020 johngaltfla
johngaltfla's picture

The Ruskies must have used a variant of one of GE's F-35 engines.

Fri, 05/08/2015 - 08:14 | 6072244 tonyw
tonyw's picture

Newbie driver, video doesn't show a guy from the makers coming along and driving off - but that would be less entertaining.

 

Thu, 05/07/2015 - 23:39 | 6071699 neidermeyer
neidermeyer's picture

Carmine's gonna be PISSED!

Fri, 05/08/2015 - 04:58 | 6071974 COSMOS
COSMOS's picture

http://i-korotchenko.livejournal.com/1043407.html

some nice views of Moscow from Helicopters practicing for the May 9 parade

 

http://saidpvo.livejournal.com/402863.html

some view looking up of planes

 

http://tipolog.livejournal.com/280600.html

berlin ww2

 

Thu, 05/07/2015 - 19:04 | 6070881 BarbaricRelic
BarbaricRelic's picture

Look up "Tank Sabot". It is fin-stabilized and non-explosive, though the effect it has on armor is.

Thu, 05/07/2015 - 21:37 | 6071355 richinSpirit
richinSpirit's picture

I'm reasonably sure the decade-plus old, then high-end antitank rounds are constructed like a rocket engine in reverse, except replace a rocket's exhaust gasses with liquified, metallized substances timed to inject upon impact. Thus the extra effectiveness of 'active armor', break the injector before that thing hits. Thus the importance of accurate range-to-target before firing. ;)

Both sides, in Russia's case anyway, have both technologies, I would think. Active armor  existed as a mountable option for an older US M1A1 and an older Soviet T-80, though appologies... I can no longer recall my source from that long ago on this sort of topic.

I've said it before, and I'll say it again since it is a great saying from an even greater source, "He who lives by the sword dies by the sword."

I'd rather live with the doubled-edged sword of Truth than an implement of violence... there is always a way to make a bigger 'gun' and 'gun shield'. How deep is our production output chain now-a-days, anyway? I hope there arent a lot of people here who still put their faith in a .308 cartridge, but fair warning was given long ago and forgiveness is freely offered.

Fri, 05/08/2015 - 00:51 | 6071820 Rusty Shorts
Rusty Shorts's picture

 Gold, the M1 Abrahams Tanks, as well as the M60 A1 Tanks, Armored Calvery, ETC.,  have been removed from Fort Knox.

 

...now it's a ARMY COMMUNITY SERVICE.

Fri, 05/08/2015 - 07:05 | 6072122 zerocash
zerocash's picture

The Russian version is "Whoever will come to us with a sword, from a sword will perish." Said by Alexander Nevsky who repelled the Teutonic invaders in the middle ages.

Fri, 05/08/2015 - 08:17 | 6072257 Ace Ventura
Ace Ventura's picture

Whoa! Dude what's wrong with the venerable .308? From a purely utilitarian all-around useful purpose, its pretty hard to beat? Granted the average Joe isn't going to tote 400 rounds of the stuff, like he could with .223, but still?

Thu, 05/07/2015 - 19:07 | 6070890 mc225
mc225's picture

apparently, russians are fond of smoothbore. is it because of greater muzzle velocity?

Thu, 05/07/2015 - 19:11 | 6070902 NoDebt
NoDebt's picture

Yes, that's one reason.  We use a smoothbore gun on the Abrams, too.

Thu, 05/07/2015 - 19:30 | 6070947 BlindMonkey
BlindMonkey's picture

What is old is new again.  I am sure as hell we will be using sticks and arrows soon.

Thu, 05/07/2015 - 23:33 | 6071686 RevIdahoSpud3
RevIdahoSpud3's picture

Funny. During the years as I harvest wood for buning I set aside limbs (clubs) that would function well as self defense tools. Likewise, I have ammassed several hundred arrows and several bows as well as munitions of the more typical kind. War or self defense is at whatever level is needed at the moment of crisis. 

Fri, 05/08/2015 - 04:18 | 6071961 pndr4495
pndr4495's picture

.....what is old is new hmmmmm - maybe the idea of not for profit trading floors WAS a great idea - at least any hanky panky could be seen and dealt with in due course.

Thu, 05/07/2015 - 20:25 | 6071108 guessagain
guessagain's picture

All modern tank guns are smoothbores.  High velocity and armor piercing, fin-stabilized, discarding sabot...

Thu, 05/07/2015 - 21:30 | 6071332 Ms. Erable
Ms. Erable's picture

...or APFSDS for you non-treadheads.

If I were a Russian tanker, I'd be more worried about that shot trap all the way around the turret than I would about the BSOD (does CTRL+ALT+DEL translate?).

Fri, 05/08/2015 - 07:31 | 6072166 Grimaldus
Grimaldus's picture

"If I were a Russian tanker, I'd be more worried about that shot trap all the way around the turret"

Maybe they figured because it is an unmanned turret no one would get hurt? Yeah makes you wonder, sloped armor works so why not a low, almost flat sloping turret.

Should be an interesting addition to the Russian tank "cookoff" videos coming out of Syria.

Grimaldus

Fri, 05/08/2015 - 08:23 | 6072271 Ace Ventura
Ace Ventura's picture

I think that philosophy was partly responsible for the design of the israeli merkava tank? Although I think the merkava still employs a manned turret, which makes me think its a friggin TIGHT squeeze in there.

http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-TCKM-0AsrNQ/UFQbrAmvOOI/AAAAAAAAHIA/lwyPSecNyX...

Thu, 05/07/2015 - 15:45 | 6070186 crazytechnician
crazytechnician's picture

These units use hydraulic drives , no gears , no clutch just levers and a computer. Looks more like a brake (un)failure.

Thu, 05/07/2015 - 15:58 | 6070271 Oh regional Indian
Oh regional Indian's picture

Aha, thanks crazy tech. There has to be some point of energy transfer that is mechanical (actually I'm sure the clutch is hydraulic, but hydraulic gears, for these loads?).

Thu, 05/07/2015 - 16:37 | 6070423 Parrotile
Parrotile's picture

Probably a diesel-haydraulic system similar to the systems used in locomotives (Krauss-Maffei being pioneers in this area). These diesel hydraulics were also used by the UK Western Region of BR (Warship Class, Western Class). Typical power output (through two transmissions) was 2700Hp, so more than capable of handling the power needed to drive even a main battletank.

It is interesting that the Russians bought the Hawker-Siddeley Kestrel experimental diesel-electric locomotive (4000Hp), and I often wonder whether they had plans for the technology, which they got VERY cheaply indeed. Electric transmission does have very significant advantages, esp. in terms of routine servicing (i.e. very little needed!), and for a battle tank, such advantages could be highly relevant.

Thu, 05/07/2015 - 17:05 | 6070514 Four chan
Four chan's picture

tanks are so 1900's

Thu, 05/07/2015 - 19:59 | 6071026 walküre
walküre's picture

lots of fun to ride though

Thu, 05/07/2015 - 22:02 | 6071412 Four chan
Four chan's picture

i would like to fire one.

Fri, 05/08/2015 - 09:58 | 6072671 STP
STP's picture

I was with a USMC tank unit, back in the late 70's at Fuji, Japan.  We were with the Base Camp and would play opposition to the Battalion Ianding teams.  I was never with a wilder bunch of yahoos.  We had the venerable M-60's main battle tanks, and this was before infrared became the rage.  They were still equipped with the extremely powerful and Xenon searchlights, that could put out a beam that shot out over a mile away!

I was Motor T, but they'd let name drive it, here and there.  It weighed 53 tons, minimum!  It would only go 35 mph, but you felt like you were hauling ass!  The roughest, most beat up dirt roads, felt like gliding on the Interstate!  They did let me fire the main gun, once.  It was a 105mm.  There were two ways to fire it, electrically, with a push of a button, or the way, I did it, cranking a handle, that was like those old radio hand generators.  A good solid half twist and that big gun went off!  Very tight quarters inside the turret and below.  When the gun went off, you didnt want to be behind it.  Several thousand pounds or recoilling steel pushed back, on a system of springs and hydraulics, right next to you! If you happened to be behind it , your lower half would be crushed.  There were 105 rounds arrayed all around, the inside of the turret.

When we'd go to the live fire range, often, a very few of us, would be standing on top of the tank as it was firing.  It was stationary, but whenever a round would fire, that 120,000 pound tank would rock back on it's launches!  You'd also feel your clothes getting rippled from the shock wave, coming from the barrel of the 105, as the round exited.  Fun, fun stuff!

Fri, 05/08/2015 - 02:45 | 6071907 anonymice
anonymice's picture

There's less progress than you think there is. Your car, for instance, is basically an invention of the 1800s, spruced up with a bit of electronics. Anyone from the late 1800's would instantly recognize your car as one. With little training, a car mechanic from around 1900 would be able to service your car, no problem.

 

The last time we came up with something new was the 1920's: quantum mechanics. All our iphones and tablets can be traced back to that. Atom bombs, too. 

Fri, 05/08/2015 - 06:53 | 6072102 Dr. Everett V. Scott
Dr. Everett V. Scott's picture

Four chan,

 

I upvoted you because of the tits.

Fri, 05/08/2015 - 03:19 | 6071922 Sirius Wonderblast
Sirius Wonderblast's picture

+1 for ref to BR WR locos, and Kestrel.

Leccy trans not such a good idea for tanks, which have to go swimming... (Ithink the Germans triwd that in WW2 with the Maus?).

Fri, 05/08/2015 - 05:14 | 6071997 JimBowie1958
JimBowie1958's picture

The simplest explanation; it is Russian.

 

Fri, 05/08/2015 - 07:11 | 6072136 zerocash
zerocash's picture

As is the Soyuz which American astronauts have to use to get into space.

Thu, 05/07/2015 - 17:31 | 6070593 jdtexas
jdtexas's picture

Russia will need Western attorneys skilled to file the resulting law suits.....and here they come now

 

More Western Law Firms Setting Up Shop In Moscow……Now Kennedys

NY Law Firm Chadbourne & Parke Expand Moscow Office

Thu, 05/07/2015 - 17:48 | 6070655 crazytechnician
crazytechnician's picture

Most tracked vehicles use hydraulic power transfer. Even rolling stock whether gas turbine or internal combustion. Far easier to distribute and control the power. Still quite a lot of waste though. That tank looks like it's brakes are jammed on.

Thu, 05/07/2015 - 18:51 | 6070842 Volkodav
Volkodav's picture

more likely brakes

Thu, 05/07/2015 - 21:29 | 6071331 N3mo
N3mo's picture

ORI, it is simply a pleasure reading your posts. Nice to know there are folks trained in both the empirical and esoteric sciences.

And yea, shit has been interesting since 2012...only promises to get better. Batten down for some serious Mercurial shenanigans...

Hold the pistol whip, please...

Fri, 05/08/2015 - 01:02 | 6071834 Oh regional Indian
Oh regional Indian's picture

Thanks N3 and I know exactly what you mean. I suspect there are a few more esoterically inclined folks here but this is fight club y'know :-)

Thu, 05/07/2015 - 18:10 | 6070739 Shumbies
Shumbies's picture

@crazytechnician "French tanks only have one gear: Reverse."

Actually, the modern French tanks have four reverse gears and one forward. The forward is in case they are attacked from the rear.

Fri, 05/08/2015 - 05:17 | 6072001 crazytechnician
crazytechnician's picture

They also have a rear view mirror , so they can see where they are going.

Thu, 05/07/2015 - 22:09 | 6071434 Al Tinfoil
Al Tinfoil's picture

"French tanks only have one gear: Reverse."

But it is a very fast, very stylish reverse, Mon Ami.

Fri, 05/08/2015 - 01:07 | 6071788 The Darwin Mode
The Darwin Mode's picture

"French tanks only have one gear: Reverse." --crazytechnician

Ha ha ha, yeah, those weak-asses with their national reluctance to go to war... When will those Frog pussies ever learn to be the chest-thumping warmonger puppets we've been trying to make them since WWII? Fortunately for you, though their people still harbor a lingering sense of battle fatigue, France's ruling plutocracy is every bit as corrupt as ours, and they haven't forgotten their imperial roots.

Fri, 05/08/2015 - 01:18 | 6071848 Oh regional Indian
Oh regional Indian's picture

Well said Darwin...

Fri, 05/08/2015 - 03:50 | 6071944 winchester
winchester's picture

French tanks only have one gear: Reverse.

 

french do not even build themselves their own guns, replacement tender started, not single compagny below 80 million/year sales revenue accepted, the only french one able to build guns is 12 million/years.

 

only remain : heckler & koch, beretta, steyr, swiss arms & hernstal...

 

once again, worst choice possible, make your producer angry -> no  parts to repair....

 

Fri, 05/08/2015 - 06:35 | 6072077 oudinot
oudinot's picture

America retreated from Korea, Vietnam, Afghanistan and Iraq; don't throw stines when you live in a glass house.

Thu, 05/07/2015 - 15:29 | 6070127 Captain Willard
Captain Willard's picture

I had an old FIAT with a gearbox problem like this.

Thu, 05/07/2015 - 16:53 | 6070473 Calmyourself
Calmyourself's picture

These people designed and built the t-34 in massive numbers and except for the backwards hatch covers it was a masterpiece of balanced design.  If they get this working properly I would not want to see one emerge from a hedgerow.

Thu, 05/07/2015 - 20:39 | 6071153 PlausibleDenial
PlausibleDenial's picture

Tanks...hmmm, Misznay Schardin-M21  Tilt Rod...bamm M...Fckr

Thu, 05/07/2015 - 23:16 | 6071650 Calmyourself
Calmyourself's picture

yeah, 2.99 inch penetration in cold rolled will probably not work here M fckr

Thu, 05/07/2015 - 20:44 | 6071174 Freddie
Freddie's picture

Well it could be worse.  The Russian taxpayers could have spent $1 trillion on that piece of shit F-35.  Or that scam "stealth."

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mxDSiwqM2nw

Pierre Sprey calling the F-35 a lemon. He also says stealth is a scam.  He worked on the F-16, F-15 and A-10.

The F-35 is worse than a lemon.

Thu, 05/07/2015 - 22:26 | 6071484 Fish Gone Bad
Fish Gone Bad's picture

I was at the Carol Shelby museum in Nevada by the race track and a pair of A-10's flew over.  Those are beautiful planes. 

Thu, 05/07/2015 - 22:57 | 6071587 Freddie
Freddie's picture

Not just Pierre Sprey but also Colonel John Boyd and test pilot Colonel Everest Riccioni.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Fighter_Mafia

There are some old videos of Boyd on youtube.  He was a very bright guy.

Fri, 05/08/2015 - 00:55 | 6071823 The Darwin Mode
The Darwin Mode's picture

"A-10's... are beautiful planes." --Fish Gone Bad

Hah! I tend to agree, though one would be hard-pressed to find a less gainly airframe anywhere in the sky. The aptly-named Warthogs are beautifully effective planes, maybe we should say. A-10s did deliver a good chunk of the nearly 500 tons of depleted uranium that American and British forces used on the Iraqi citizenry, though, so i'm guessing the word "beautiful" wouldn't be frequently associated with that aircraft within the Shiite population. But what are cancer and birth defects when you're "liberating" a country? Breaking eggs, making omelets...

Fri, 05/08/2015 - 23:12 | 6075035 N3mo
N3mo's picture

Backward hatch on the T-34/76 was a feature, not a bug...doubled as a shield from small arms fire.

Thu, 05/07/2015 - 15:47 | 6070158 Dapper Dan
Dapper Dan's picture

 

 

Stalin summoned Radek and said, "I know you spread jokes about me. It's impertinent."

"Why?"

"I am the Great Leader, Teacher, and Friend of the people after all."


"No, I've not told anybody this joke."

 

 

Thu, 05/07/2015 - 15:50 | 6070162 Ghordius
Ghordius's picture

nah, the poor tank only got excited

Happens when they meet Chuck Norris
Happens when they meet Vladimir Putin

Thu, 05/07/2015 - 22:08 | 6071429 GoinFawr
GoinFawr's picture

Hey, anyone can be starstruck.

Thu, 05/07/2015 - 18:36 | 6070809 jdtexas
jdtexas's picture

Maybe Boeing will help that Russian company since they're already well established there?

 

Globalism Gets Lift As Boeing’s Plant in Russia Gets Tour From U.S. Ambassador Tefft

Thu, 05/07/2015 - 19:37 | 6070963 RaceToTheBottom
RaceToTheBottom's picture

In Russia, you don't drive tank, tank drives you.

Fri, 05/08/2015 - 09:44 | 6072613 Balkan
Balkan's picture

Ukies try to load a mobile artillery rig on a trailer.

https://youtu.be/YAJiK4c869w

Thu, 05/07/2015 - 15:17 | 6070084 Jack Burton
Jack Burton's picture

These two trade pacts are designed to hand government functions over to corporations. In other words, a special court with corporate CEO sitting on it, can overturn national laws of any kind that might impinge of the expected profits. Not real profits mind you! But the profits a corporation expected to make. Thus labor and pollution laws can all be overturned. No member nation can use elected government to overturn a corporate decission. As for us people, we will become direct slaves to corporations. They already hold the status of people, now they will hold the status of Kings under these treaties. Why are they secret? Because no citizens would EVER accept this power grab by the elite rulers. And do not think for a minute the main  pushers of these treaties are Zionists and the chosen people. This will give a zionist banker control over a nation's government, over us. Zion marches on to it's full control of our world. Obama is a Zionist, Clintons are Zionists, Bushes are Zionists. Israel manages to direct Washington like a puppet. And we people allow zionists to rule us, and feed us their media lies. We do nothing. No wonder they look down their noses at us all for being so foolish.

Thu, 05/07/2015 - 15:46 | 6070148 Bunghole
Bunghole's picture

Jack,

Looks like you offended at least 2 Zioqueers so far with your truthiness.

If you ain't taking flak, you're not over target.

Edit... I see at least two smegma schmucks did't have the balls to reply to me but just leave a red arrow.

You pussies like to hide behind you momma's skirts, dont you?

Thu, 05/07/2015 - 15:47 | 6070211 Ghordius
Ghordius's picture

Those two pacts are the product of weasel lobbyists desperately trying to find... moar. They are disgusting and simply... sick

Thu, 05/07/2015 - 15:58 | 6070268 Anusocracy
Anusocracy's picture

In all reality, the cattle shouldn't blame the cattle herders because their own existence is the reason the cattle herders exist.

Thu, 05/07/2015 - 16:59 | 6070493 JohninMK
JohninMK's picture

Another top analysis there JB.

We hear virtually nothing about it in the UK.

It is not TOP SECRET for nothing.

Even top EU officials are only allowed to read the clauses when they have been stripped of phones, cameras, pen and paper etc. Nothing like this has ever happened before.

Thu, 05/07/2015 - 18:55 | 6070851 Chupacabra-322
Chupacabra-322's picture

Global Fascism in it's Purest form.

Thu, 05/07/2015 - 15:32 | 6070141 will ling
will ling's picture

what's vlad view of TPP?

Thu, 05/07/2015 - 15:42 | 6070182 Bioscale
Bioscale's picture

Who knows, he has other things to do: http://sputniknews.com/photo/20150507/1021571515.html

fishing,

ice hockey,

formula racing,

chopper race,

judo fight,

tiger taming

piano playing wtf!

diving

skiing

aircraft flying

and the guy controls the russian nuclear stuff and army. I guess he already has told der Frau Angela what a fucking scam TPP is.

 

Thu, 05/07/2015 - 18:53 | 6070847 knukles
knukles's picture

Jeeez .....  Vlad's about as talented as that Nork Kim Jong Il family.

Thu, 05/07/2015 - 20:15 | 6071074 takeaction
takeaction's picture

Wow...my man love just exploded 10 fold.  Fucking awesome photos.....and now for our president....I have no more words.

http://7.blog.giftednutrition.com/wp-content/uploads/2015/01/Obama1.jpg

 

Fri, 05/08/2015 - 07:20 | 6072148 zerocash
Thu, 05/07/2015 - 17:41 | 6070627 datura
datura's picture

What is Vlads view of TPP? Too late with that crap, you funny people from Washington. We are already integrating Asia without your help and the better part. You can keep that bankrupted japan btw, we don't need it that much. China integrating with India. http://thebricspost.com/china-india-dont-need-3rd-party-meddling-modi/#.... India showing Russia is their best friend. http://thebricspost.com/indian-president-leaves-for-russia-to-attend-vic... India integrating with Iran. http://thebricspost.com/us-frowns-at-india-iran-port-deal/#.VUvbARduEpU Iran integrating with South Africa. http://thebricspost.com/southafrican-foreign-minister-to-travel-to-iran-...

Thu, 05/07/2015 - 15:39 | 6070172 Cynicles
Cynicles's picture

TPP = severe reduction of the US citizenry [endentured servatude lives]

Thu, 05/07/2015 - 18:56 | 6070856 schadenfreude
schadenfreude's picture

Look at TTIP, it's almost the same agreement. Stealth NWO, with megacorps as rulers of the world. I read the Shadow Run novels in the nineties and it appears to be a blueprint of what's happening right now.

Thu, 05/07/2015 - 20:53 | 6071201 Buck Johnson
Buck Johnson's picture

This deal is so secret that something must be bad in it for them to not want people to see it.

 

Thu, 05/07/2015 - 15:13 | 6070067 Urban Redneck
Urban Redneck's picture

Still, it sucks in any language when the shit hits the fan and you are stuck there in your class a uniform to clean up.

Thu, 05/07/2015 - 15:26 | 6070113 spieslikeus
spieslikeus's picture

Sure would hate to be the HMFIC on that deal.....how do you say 'nailgun' in russian?

Thu, 05/07/2015 - 15:15 | 6070076 agent default
agent default's picture

This is one of the reasons unmanned turrets and drive by wire systems are considered a universally fucked up idea in any military.  But since GDLS always gets its way, the US had to have the Stryker.

Thu, 05/07/2015 - 15:22 | 6070098 Jack Burton
Jack Burton's picture

Military equipment can get too complicated for a battle field. A tank must function under fire, so any complex system that is not totally robust, will fuck you up in battle. Russians used to be famous for simple and effective basic military technology. But now they are pushing into high tech engineering for simple problems. Yep, too complicated a design.

Thu, 05/07/2015 - 15:27 | 6070120 Wile-E-Coyote
Wile-E-Coyote's picture

I don't know about that I watched a video of one of these tanks the other day, the black smoke it was throwing out reminded me of an old London bus. No gas turbine in there.

Thu, 05/07/2015 - 15:27 | 6070121 Counterpunch
Counterpunch's picture

I wouldnt read in too much.

"The T-14 will be lighter than the T-95 at around 55 tons, and it will be classed somewhere between a heavy and medium battle tank. It will also feature a smaller main gun than the T-95 and will be an overall less complex design. This makes great sense as simpler tank designs have historically been the most successful for Russia. "

http://foxtrotalpha.jalopnik.com/russias-universal-combat-platform-is-ba...

Thu, 05/07/2015 - 15:36 | 6070156 agent default
agent default's picture

It is understandable it is lighter since there is no crew in the turret, but smaller gun?  Tank design trends point to 140mm/L55 guns for future generation tanks.

Thu, 05/07/2015 - 15:40 | 6070174 Perimetr
Perimetr's picture

Maybe the Russkis can get some earlier model Russian tanks from the Separatists in Donbass, I hear they have captured most of the (Russian-made) Ukrainian tanks that came out of storage from the Cold War

Thu, 05/07/2015 - 15:43 | 6070183 Fun Facts
Fun Facts's picture

Microsoft Windows 8 for Tanks

Operating Procedures:

Section 243.34

Rebooting your main turret while under fire...

Thu, 05/07/2015 - 16:05 | 6070290 spieslikeus
spieslikeus's picture

PC Load Letter? What the fuck?

Thu, 05/07/2015 - 17:11 | 6070534 WillyGroper
WillyGroper's picture

Check with your Kernel first.

Thu, 05/07/2015 - 18:04 | 6070720 trulz4lulz
trulz4lulz's picture

Guru meditation. Press ctrl-alt-del to reboot.

 

Thu, 05/07/2015 - 23:54 | 6071734 Government need...
Government needs you to pay taxes's picture

That looks more like a blue screen of death, dumping physical memory . . .

Thu, 05/07/2015 - 15:44 | 6070201 Cynicles
Cynicles's picture

T-60?

Basic, rudementary, pos tank that was ez to produce and, at times, very effective.

Thu, 05/07/2015 - 18:45 | 6070827 Volkodav
Volkodav's picture

Yes  example is why many Waffen SS preferred ZB26 over German MG

Thu, 05/07/2015 - 15:47 | 6070216 TheReplacement
TheReplacement's picture

Reminds me of a batchat with actual armor.

Thu, 05/07/2015 - 16:18 | 6070314 Kirk2NCC1701
Kirk2NCC1701's picture

Clearly Russia is in short supply of SIX SIGMA BLACK BELTS. 

Interestingly enough, they are not supplied by China, but by USA.

Could be a great career and relocation move for some.

p.s. The fact that most ZHers don't have a clue what that is, is very troubling in itself.  Especially when compared to the tons of totally useless info and trivia buzzing around their skulls. [sigh]

Thu, 05/07/2015 - 18:12 | 6070747 trulz4lulz
trulz4lulz's picture

I know about it! A close family member heads a major companies six sigma department. He travels all over for classes and he tells me what he does and what the program is. I think its interesting actually, industrial design and efficiency were my favorite subjects in college. Took a few semesters of it, but Americas lack of manufacturing doesn't leave many good paying options for someone like me.

Thu, 05/07/2015 - 18:39 | 6070815 spinone
Thu, 05/07/2015 - 18:56 | 6070857 knukles
knukles's picture

Can I apply Six SIgma to my JiffyPop tonight?
No?
Well, I'll still have my popcorn.

Thu, 05/07/2015 - 19:20 | 6070928 Urban Redneck
Urban Redneck's picture

Six Smegma is nothing more than bastardized watered down remedial Industrial Engineering for Dummies (i.e. those with social sciences/arts degrees).  

Thu, 05/07/2015 - 21:27 | 6071323 Super Hans
Super Hans's picture

I six sigmad all over her face and it only cost a $20!

 

Sh

Thu, 05/07/2015 - 18:59 | 6070866 acetinker
acetinker's picture

I hope that was sarc. I really do.  Those 'highly trained' individuals are to manufacturing what attorneys are to common law.  Not your reddie, though.

Thu, 05/07/2015 - 19:06 | 6070886 Crawdaddy
Crawdaddy's picture

If Six Sigma outcomes uncover criminal negligence then it gets trashed. Spice must flow.

Fri, 05/08/2015 - 02:28 | 6071897 wisefool
wisefool's picture

Timmah is 5x9. Timmay scribed your bills. That is as USA as you can get.  Timmah does not need turbo tax or the tanks they use the money for. TImmay and obama could fix that tank.

Timmay has real ulitmate power . com

In other news, Hillary clinton is likely to become the first female leader of a 240 year old nation.

Fri, 05/08/2015 - 23:21 | 6075047 N3mo
N3mo's picture

QC/QI optimization

Along with ISO 9001:2008, a fairly important bit of kit to familiarize yourself with. Especially since manufacturing will be returning home shortly.

Sat, 05/09/2015 - 20:03 | 6076895 acetinker
acetinker's picture

The Asians who made the device you type your tripe from don't give a rat's ass about your divine QS/ISO bullshit.  If they did, they wouldn't have built that device (they'd be too expensive).

Dreamer,

You stupid little dreamer!,

Can you put your hands in your head?,

Hell no!

Any device, of any type, owes it's quality to the individual(s) who built it.  You proceduralists will insist that quality is dependent on following the ascribed procedure, decreed from on high- even though you've never even built a birdhouse, yourself.

Walk out into your own factory, N3mo (well, wherever you work, 'cos I already know you don't have the capacity to own a factory) and notice the myriad work-arounds your proles have devised to avoid being beaten over the head for quality defects while following 'procedure'.

They're a lot smarter than you N3mo.  Watch your ass.

Thu, 05/07/2015 - 18:46 | 6070830 TheFourthStoog-ing
TheFourthStoog-ing's picture

Quality control in Mother Russia is Job One...er, Job Three, uh okay Job Seven.

This is all part of the Russian plan to use guile to entice America into thinking Russia's government and military are comprised of nincompoops.

Don't be misled - Russians are chess masters and always play the long game!

Thu, 05/07/2015 - 19:08 | 6070892 TheFourthStooge-ing
TheFourthStooge-ing's picture

Well done. Such a failure.

Tomorrow you kill yourself with a fork during dinner and it will suit everyone.

Thu, 05/07/2015 - 20:05 | 6071052 acetinker
acetinker's picture

As they say Shemp, if you're taking flak, you must be on target.  Carry on, my man!  Carry on!

Thu, 05/07/2015 - 20:43 | 6071167 Clever Name
Clever Name's picture

Something about imitation and flattery, that is the mattering thing.

Thu, 05/07/2015 - 21:27 | 6071321 acetinker
acetinker's picture

Forgive me for saying so, but somehow I just don't believe that Shemp is flattered by this impostor.  Someone has taken it upon themselves to besmirch him.  My own personal opinion is that Shemp's one of the good guys.

The mattering thing is that we shun this impostor, and embrace TheFourthStooge-ing, not TheFourthStoog-ing.

Thu, 05/07/2015 - 19:06 | 6070887 Kamath
Kamath's picture

After a restart around 10 mins after the rehearsal, the vehicle worked again and they were able to drive it off.

Thu, 05/07/2015 - 22:42 | 6071538 Freddie
Freddie's picture

There are number of videos on youtube where old Russian tanks in fields or were a monument from WW2 restarted after 40+ years.   They put batteries in them, maybe a little fuel and they started right up.

I would never underestimate the Russians. Also, I bet most o ftheir soldiers are not fat shits who cannot fit in a tank.

Thu, 05/07/2015 - 22:41 | 6071534 thetruthhurts
thetruthhurts's picture

Take it out of gear and put it in neutral....

Thu, 05/07/2015 - 15:10 | 6070042 Newsboy
Newsboy's picture

To err is human, or something...

Thu, 05/07/2015 - 15:10 | 6070043 back to basics
back to basics's picture

How many tons is that fucker? it wouldn't budge.

Thu, 05/07/2015 - 15:12 | 6070061 NoDebt
NoDebt's picture

They left the fucking parking brake on.

Thu, 05/07/2015 - 21:04 | 6071241 Yes_Questions
Yes_Questions's picture

right?!?!

note to Chair Yellen..

Thu, 05/07/2015 - 15:15 | 6070072 Wile-E-Coyote
Wile-E-Coyote's picture

Probably left it in drive.

Thu, 05/07/2015 - 15:19 | 6070094 Jack Burton
Jack Burton's picture

Yes. the engine was in gear. It would never move with the clutch engaged. You'de have to tear the fucking engine out before the beast would move.

Thu, 05/07/2015 - 16:00 | 6070215 Condition 1SQ
Condition 1SQ's picture

There is no traditional clutch on tanks with automatic gearboxes, like this one.

Thu, 05/07/2015 - 18:57 | 6070861 TheFourthStoog-ing
TheFourthStoog-ing's picture

That's a lot to ask of a 40 horsepower Lada motor, don't you think?

Thu, 05/07/2015 - 19:12 | 6070904 TheFourthStooge-ing
TheFourthStooge-ing's picture

Made me laugh. Who do you think you are going to fool with that story?

Jump higher and shout louder. In the pan of your choice, with a pitchfork in the ass.

Thu, 05/07/2015 - 15:11 | 6070055 Oracle of Kypseli
Oracle of Kypseli's picture

As bad as trying to jump start your house boiler by pushing it down the road

Thu, 05/07/2015 - 15:11 | 6070056 kliguy38
kliguy38's picture

Looks like our tanks when China stops sending us parts

Thu, 05/07/2015 - 15:11 | 6070057 stormsailor
stormsailor's picture

and it comes with a towing hitch, brilliant

Thu, 05/07/2015 - 16:52 | 6070470 Parrotile
Parrotile's picture

They all do (as do all NATO Tanks). Comes in useful for this sort of problem - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=u-Xn139xsbY

Russian mud - both Napoleon and Hitler encountered its "unique properties" during their Eastern adventures. The mud / arctic conditions were certainly major contributors to the defeat of both invading forces.

(So, maybe the Russian Mud actually "won" WW2 for the West . . . . . .)

Thu, 05/07/2015 - 15:11 | 6070058 This is it
This is it's picture

Somebody's gonna getta hurt reeeaaallllll bad!!

Thu, 05/07/2015 - 15:12 | 6070062 Joebloinvestor
Joebloinvestor's picture

No more embarassing then having a wing on a stealth fighter fall off (in flight) because it wasn't bolted on correctly.

http://www.zerosixright.com/f117-stealth-fighter-structural-failure/

Thu, 05/07/2015 - 15:50 | 6070230 PleasedToMeatYou
PleasedToMeatYou's picture

The audio effects at about 2min. were worth the entire time spent. 

Thu, 05/07/2015 - 19:10 | 6070899 Crawdaddy
Crawdaddy's picture

hehe "It ain't supposed to do THAT man"

Thu, 05/07/2015 - 15:12 | 6070063 chunga
chunga's picture

How do you say "put it in neutral" in Russian?

Thu, 05/07/2015 - 15:46 | 6070204 agent default
agent default's picture

Fuck it.  It is software controlled. 

Thu, 05/07/2015 - 16:04 | 6070288 taketheredpill
taketheredpill's picture

 

 

STUXNET?

Thu, 05/07/2015 - 16:55 | 6070482 ersatz007
ersatz007's picture

now that made me smile...STUXNET.  

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