When Hyperinflation Hits In Japan, Robot Suits Will Help You Move Your Yen

Tyler Durden's picture

It's no secret that Japan is in the midst of what is perhaps the greatest (or most terrible, depending on whether you have a penchant for Keynesian madness or not) monetary experiment the world has ever known. With the blessing of PM Shinzo Abe and under the heavy hand of Governor Haruhiko Kuroda, the BoJ is printing enough money to monetize not only the entirety of JGB gross issuance, but also the entire Japanese ETF market, with the latter effort serving to underwrite record highs on the Nikkei. 

In sum, the printing presses are working around the clock in Japan and as WSJ reports, when the government finally gets what it wants and the country's descent into the Keynesian Twilight Zone finally ends in the worst example of hyperinflation the world has ever seen, no one will be forced to use a wheelbarrow to cart their yen around because in the new paranormal, you use exoskeletons to move your worthless fiat currency:

Sumitomo Mitsui Banking Corp., the core banking unit of Sumitomo Mitsui Financial Group Inc., said Thursday it has rented eight robotic suits developed by Japanese robotic maker Cyberdyne Inc. to ease the burden on the employees delivering cash. The bank says that would be a first among Japanese financial institutions.


“There have been many cases when a physical burden was placed on senior employees carrying heavy parcels of bank notes and coins. By adopting Cyberdyne’s robotic suits, we can help reduce that burden,” said Tomoyuki Narita, a spokesman at SMBC, Japan’s second-largest bank by assets after Bank of Tokyo-Mitsubishi UFJ.


SMBC Delivery Service Co., which mainly collects and delivers cash between bank outlets, has approximately 1,600 workers and about 16% of them are over age 65.  “We are currently placing the robotic suits at four outposts” of the delivery service, “but we’ll consider adding them in more places including the bank’s branches after assessing the effects,” Mr. Narita said.


He said the Hybrid Assistive Limb or HAL suit could reduce the burden of carrying a heavy object by about 40%, so that carrying a 10-kilogram container of bank notes and coins would feel like six kilograms...


The robotics company shares a name with the fictional defense firm behind Skynet, the artificial intelligence system that turned Earth into an apocalyptic wasteland in the Terminator series.

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Welcome to the future...

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TeamDepends's picture

But will they protect you from radiation?

keremetski's picture

They need robots that help navigate penis into vagina and make love friction.

Four chan's picture

heavy and worthless like a cow chip.

NidStyles's picture

Bet the man in the "then" image actually loaded that by hand with his own strength.


Gone are the days when men believed in being men and lifted and stayed fit.

IridiumRebel's picture

Upvoted for your awesome Gifavatar.

Atomizer's picture

10 years of deflationary Japanese financial hiccups, a robot will help us recover. 

That's fucking hilarious. 

Atomizer's picture

We best pack in the best source code to look like heroes. Cannot repeat the Sony email hacking thingy. 

Buster Cherry's picture

Thats funny. I can think of a few people I'd like to see that tried on.

Cityzerosix's picture

There's more on the whelbarrow.

Atomizer's picture

Wheelbarrows can be sold for profit to haul Quantitative Easing money. 

Cityzerosix's picture

I don't think that even in the robot suit you'll be able to carry enough to do any shopping, shortly.

Cityzerosix's picture

In Turkey about 15 years ago the rate was 2000000 lira to the pound. A loaf of bread was subsidised at 20000 lira so was basically free. I found an old 1 lira coin which was cause for thought. The zeros were removed some years ago and now you only get 4. something lira.

gwar5's picture

Can they swim, or do they sink like an anchor when you fall in the water? Every Superhero has a fatal flaw.

(But I still want one.)





Ajax_USB_Port_Repair_Service_'s picture

That's crazytalk! Nikkei is UP 1.1% today.

Everything is fine. Everything is fine. Everything is fine. Everything is fine. Everything is fine. Everything is fine. Everything is fine. Everything is fine. Everything is fine.

YHC-FTSE's picture

Cyberdyne Inc., the Japanese robotics maker? WTF? Some days I think I've crossed over into another dimension where movies and reality cross boundaries.

If the most evil name in movie lore can get venture capitalists wetting their pants to throw money its way and the most intrusive surveillance agency on the globe uses Skynet as the name of its top secret program, then the most successful Washington lobby group must be called Hitler & Associates. How about a think tank called Joseph Goebbels political research centre? (I notice that one has already been taken by the Zionazis in Kiev)

Dixie Flatline's picture
Dixie Flatline (not verified) YHC-FTSE May 10, 2015 8:54 PM

My CPU is a neural net processor, a learning computer.

Matt's picture

The exoskeleton itself is the HAL 5

rum_runner's picture

It's what happens when you live in a world without consequence.  The NSA built a replica Star Trek holodeck with taxpayer money just for shits and grins.  Nevermind all the countless crimes committed by both parties, agencies, ad nauseum that go completely unpunished in broad daylight.

The reality is the government has come into its own as a new entity, divorced from its old, tiresome shackles of public interest, ready to embrace and employ the moneys of the oligarachs and the tax payers.  

Sanity Bear's picture

How about a think tank called Joseph Goebbels political research centre?


Well, there is a Kennedy School of Government...

The Ingenious Gentleman's picture

Printing one-gigillion-yen notes may help solve the problem of lower-back injuries.

Cityzerosix's picture

An American dollar in November 1923 was worth 4210500000000 German Marks so the wheelbarrow would have been a good investment plus not hard on the back vertebrae.

Youri Carma's picture

Can't make this stuff up: Japanese robotic maker Cyberdyne Inc.

Terminator - Cyberdyne Systems https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=V30yLB1_3eU

Skynet is real

The UK has had a system of military communications satellites named Skynet for decades http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Skynet_%28satellite%29

The NSA Has an Actual Skynet Program http://www.wired.com/2015/05/nsa-actual-skynet-program/

The NSA named one of its top-secret programs Skynet http://www.theverge.com/2015/5/9/8577515/nsa-skynet-program-is-real

Stephen Hawking warns against Skynet http://skynetisreal.com/2014/12/03/stephen-hawking-warns-against-skynet/

Google Buys DeepMind for SkyNet AI http://skynetisreal.com/2014/02/04/google-buys-deepmind-for-skynet-ai/

Rusputin's picture

All looks good but is wrong...

You can't, in nature, build an intelligent system more complex than a human brain.

Firstly, due to maximum information, there is an information a processing limit you can't move past - slightly quicker than the speed of light.

Second, the human brain has an advantage that it can tap into the information field (dimension) for certain necessary thoughts and ideas, kind of a galactic library disc drive. Computers won't be able to do that, unless they can replicate this connection.

Third, humans are cheap and easy to find at genius level, so no need to build expensive brain simulators, and even if you did, you could have a room full of genius simulated brains, but only one would be able to process the final solution - you hit the maximum information process limit again, doh!

Skynet is a clever idea, aand although looks clever, will not be performing human intelligence level stuff. A guy with the launch codes is always better, cheaper and more reliable.

espirit's picture

Obviously you don't live in Baltimore -or- Ferguson. 

(or DC)

Rusputin's picture

You are correct Esprit, I live elsewhere :-)

hoist the bs flag's picture

no worries Moore's Law is actually slowing down... and isn't that youtube Cyberdyne video from a Universal Studios/Orlando ride? 

Yen Cross's picture

 Man, I see this gap--- gbp/usd that needs to get closed.


 Man I see this gap--- eur/gbp that needs to get closed.

 It's going to be a long night, Bitchez

Niall Of The Nine Hostages's picture

16 per cent of the staff are over 65. In other words, zero interest rates have ensured that 16 per cent of the staff can't afford to retire. 

They're in for a miserable old age once their jobs are handed to robots, hyperinflation or no.

q99x2's picture

My style of article.

Atomizer's picture

Bernanke helicopters have been mothballed. Drones will drop free hyperinflation cash.  


ThroxxOfVron's picture

Fuck 'em.

I have this device called a fork lift.

random999's picture

nah it wont be like that.

They will ban cash. And we will get a 100usd per day limit on it.. thats it.

EddieLomax's picture

Magnificient article, sometimes real life does trump fantasy.

On a serious note, I do wonder if the quantity of money being moved has slowly crept up here, but its so hard to tell how bad things are since a lot of the financial tracking has been dropped.

Baby Eating Dingo22's picture

Short it

Digital money weighs  nothing

shouldvekilledthem's picture

something something decentralized crypto currency immune to banksters.