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"All Clear" For Stocks Cancelled: Gartman "Pleasantly Wrong", Goes "Modestly Long" Of Stocks

Tyler Durden's picture




 

Last Thursday, when the market seemed on the verge of breaking lower, we asked if Gartman gave the all clear to go right back into stocks with his assessment that "1890 On The S&P Shall Be Our Target." As expected, stocks soared.

It is now time to cancel the "all clear" courtesy, once again, of Dennis Gartman:

As we have maintained since early last week, we’ve been neutral of stocks and we’ve now been wrong. At least we had the wisdom of age not to take seriously any bearish considerations and turn net negative of the market in general, but merely turning neutral is wrong and those who’ve simply chosen to sit tight, remaining fully invested, have prospered. With the S&P breaking to new highs, and with the trends in so many markets still upward, any periods of weakness are to be used to get longer of equities than we are. When we are wrong we admit it and we were wrong to move from merely “pleasantly” long to neutral. Our first step is then to become modestly long, and we shall.

Between the humor and timing the market's inflection points with uncanny perfection, this continues to be the best $29.95 newsletter money can buy.

 

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Mon, 05/11/2015 - 08:43 | 6080482 Headbanger
Headbanger's picture

It's so AWESOME!

That it's AWESOME!

Mon, 05/11/2015 - 08:57 | 6080526 VinceFostersGhost
VinceFostersGhost's picture

 

 

this continues to be the best $29.95 newsletter money can buy.

 

They now take EBTs.

Mon, 05/11/2015 - 09:06 | 6080545 Looney
Looney's picture

“Pleasantly wrong” + “Modestly Long” = Ridiculously Stupid

 Looney

Mon, 05/11/2015 - 11:54 | 6081113 Bananamerican
Bananamerican's picture

i wish we shall pleasantly shove a log up his ass....

Mon, 05/11/2015 - 09:24 | 6080598 Captain Willard
Captain Willard's picture

Gartman has taken self-parody to a new level.

For the older ZHers, it now seems clear that Gartman is to stocks what Jimmy the Greek was to football betting.

Mon, 05/11/2015 - 09:10 | 6080557 BandGap
BandGap's picture

This fucker changes his mind as often as I change socks.

 

Mon, 05/11/2015 - 09:20 | 6080584 BoPeople
BoPeople's picture

Odds are that one of his random guesses will be right ... unless the non-market is rigged specifically against HIM!

Mon, 05/11/2015 - 10:39 | 6080821 Four chan
Four chan's picture

how many "units" are your socks?

Mon, 05/11/2015 - 08:43 | 6080484 skbull44
skbull44's picture

Good time to short the market then...

http://olduvai.ca

Mon, 05/11/2015 - 08:45 | 6080493 Your guess is a...
Your guess is as good as mine's picture

Dennis Gartman was wrong??

 

Say it ain't so!!

Mon, 05/11/2015 - 08:45 | 6080494 jmcadg
jmcadg's picture

And the difference between modestly and pleasantly?

Fuckwit.

Mon, 05/11/2015 - 08:53 | 6080519 Farmer Joe in B...
Farmer Joe in Brooklyn's picture

All these twat market prognosticators intentionally use vague language to hedge for when they are inevitably wrong. 

I hope this fuckrag loses everything in the reset.

Mon, 05/11/2015 - 08:45 | 6080495 oudinot
oudinot's picture

What a tard!

Mon, 05/11/2015 - 08:54 | 6080497 Arius.
Arius.'s picture

the best 29.95 money can buy?  really? 

 

have you checked out Gary Sterling's newsletter? its a bargain at 14.95 ...even cheaper if you can bear reading it....

Mon, 05/11/2015 - 08:48 | 6080501 JBilyj
JBilyj's picture

wow

Mon, 05/11/2015 - 08:49 | 6080507 yogibear
yogibear's picture

What an opposite indicator. Right on time.

Mon, 05/11/2015 - 08:52 | 6080514 papaswamp
papaswamp's picture

Wtf is pleaseantly long vs modestly long? What a fucking joke.

Mon, 05/11/2015 - 09:01 | 6080535 Arius.
Arius.'s picture

buy in US dollar and sell in Yen or alternatively sell in Euros and buy in Yuan ...  still confused?

Mon, 05/11/2015 - 12:41 | 6081305 Comte d'herblay
Comte d'herblay's picture

Yep....

Mon, 05/11/2015 - 09:24 | 6080601 Fun Facts
Fun Facts's picture

Gartmans hedge fund

long on stocks - short on brains

Mon, 05/11/2015 - 08:53 | 6080516 nakki
nakki's picture

How is this dude still on TV? Sell,sell,sell. Waiting for that huge 3% break for him to get neutral again. This guy flips more than a short order cook.

Mon, 05/11/2015 - 08:53 | 6080520 Apostle of Unknown
Apostle of Unknown's picture

Please stop posting about Gartman.

Mon, 05/11/2015 - 08:54 | 6080521 Wahooo
Wahooo's picture

Good. I purchased a lot of puts during the spike on Friday. #thanksdennis

Mon, 05/11/2015 - 09:04 | 6080522 ebworthen
ebworthen's picture

Gartman ought to just go all long, and say "cash on the sidelines" before any FOMC release.

It's robots gambling with unlimited money from FED/Treasury and no rule-of-law; so until Toto finds the Wizard of Oz and Dorothy goes back to Kansas it's all Poppies and flying monkeys.

Mon, 05/11/2015 - 08:54 | 6080523 Urban Roman
Urban Roman's picture

Sell all the things!

Mon, 05/11/2015 - 09:15 | 6080570 pachanguero
pachanguero's picture

Paidl loser who I used to trick the muppets.

 

Oh and his use of high English is a joke.  He's what you get when you drag $100 bill through a trailer park.

Mon, 05/11/2015 - 09:17 | 6080576 RaceToTheBottom
RaceToTheBottom's picture

Up till now, the smart move has been to become a sheep.  Just not sure how long that will last.

Knowing me the minute I change will be the time to stop being a sheep.

Mon, 05/11/2015 - 09:21 | 6080588 Downtoolong
Downtoolong's picture

Dear Dennis,

I’ve been a subscriber to your newsletter for almost a year. I never realized there was so much about the markets I didn’t understand until I followed your advice on when to buy and sell. Sure, I lost a lot of money. Who wouldn’t have? But, it was worth it for all the experience I got. I hope one day I’ll be smart enough like you to write my own market letters. That’s because I checked my brokerage account last Friday, and I only have $16.87 left in it. So, as you can see I can’t even afford your letters anymore. Please cancel my subscription, and thanks again for all your guidance.

Sincerely yours,

Jack

Mon, 05/11/2015 - 09:27 | 6080614 fremannx
fremannx's picture

I thought I was wrong but I was mistaken? :-) Gartman apparently doesn't know his Dow Theory. There may be just a bit more upside to the markets before they start the big collapse, but I don't think it's wise to test the obvious non-confirmation between the Industrials and the Transports.

http://www.globaldeflationnews.com/dow-jones-industrial-averageelliott-w...

Mon, 05/11/2015 - 09:54 | 6080680 CarpetShag
CarpetShag's picture

Do you think Dow Theory, which was " invented" in the 30s, has an iota of applicability today with index compositions that bear no resemblance to the 30s and in markets that are manipulated to fuck-squared and back again? Richard Russell has been completely and hopelessly off track with his calls for the last 6 years at least.
Quite apart from the absurd notion that future prices can be predicted from current chart patterns with any more probability of success than flipping a coin.

Mon, 05/11/2015 - 09:41 | 6080645 JRobby
JRobby's picture

"When we are wrong we admit it"

When every aspect of your existence is "wrong" there is really only one thing to do. Euthanasia.

Mon, 05/11/2015 - 09:47 | 6080665 CarpetShag
CarpetShag's picture

If you are going to be neutral , then you should be much more aggressive about it.

Mon, 05/11/2015 - 10:08 | 6080703 bobert727
bobert727's picture

Wait....I thought he was long the S&P and short the Russell? That ain't working out too well either

Mon, 05/11/2015 - 10:50 | 6080858 Vooter
Vooter's picture

"Our first step is then to become modestly long, and we shall."

Oh, SHALL you? What else shall you do, Your Majesty?

Mon, 05/11/2015 - 11:09 | 6080940 CalibratedConfidence
CalibratedConfidence's picture

the Lulz of Dennis

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