"All Clear" For Stocks Cancelled: Gartman "Pleasantly Wrong", Goes "Modestly Long" Of Stocks

Tyler Durden's picture

Last Thursday, when the market seemed on the verge of breaking lower, we asked if Gartman gave the all clear to go right back into stocks with his assessment that "1890 On The S&P Shall Be Our Target." As expected, stocks soared.

It is now time to cancel the "all clear" courtesy, once again, of Dennis Gartman:

As we have maintained since early last week, we’ve been neutral of stocks and we’ve now been wrong. At least we had the wisdom of age not to take seriously any bearish considerations and turn net negative of the market in general, but merely turning neutral is wrong and those who’ve simply chosen to sit tight, remaining fully invested, have prospered. With the S&P breaking to new highs, and with the trends in so many markets still upward, any periods of weakness are to be used to get longer of equities than we are. When we are wrong we admit it and we were wrong to move from merely “pleasantly” long to neutral. Our first step is then to become modestly long, and we shall.

Between the humor and timing the market's inflection points with uncanny perfection, this continues to be the best $29.95 newsletter money can buy.

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Headbanger's picture

It's so AWESOME!

That it's AWESOME!

VinceFostersGhost's picture



this continues to be the best $29.95 newsletter money can buy.


They now take EBTs.

Looney's picture

“Pleasantly wrong” + “Modestly Long” = Ridiculously Stupid


Bananamerican's picture

i wish we shall pleasantly shove a log up his ass....

Captain Willard's picture

Gartman has taken self-parody to a new level.

For the older ZHers, it now seems clear that Gartman is to stocks what Jimmy the Greek was to football betting.

BandGap's picture

This fucker changes his mind as often as I change socks.


BoPeople's picture
BoPeople (not verified) BandGap May 11, 2015 8:20 AM

Odds are that one of his random guesses will be right ... unless the non-market is rigged specifically against HIM!

Four chan's picture

how many "units" are your socks?

skbull44's picture

Good time to short the market then...


Your guess is as good as mine's picture
Your guess is as good as mine (not verified) May 11, 2015 7:45 AM

Dennis Gartman was wrong??


Say it ain't so!!

jmcadg's picture

And the difference between modestly and pleasantly?


Farmer Joe in Brooklyn's picture

All these twat market prognosticators intentionally use vague language to hedge for when they are inevitably wrong. 

I hope this fuckrag loses everything in the reset.

Arius.'s picture
Arius. (not verified) May 11, 2015 7:54 AM

the best 29.95 money can buy?  really? 


have you checked out Gary Sterling's newsletter? its a bargain at 14.95 ...even cheaper if you can bear reading it....

yogibear's picture

What an opposite indicator. Right on time.

papaswamp's picture

Wtf is pleaseantly long vs modestly long? What a fucking joke.

Arius.'s picture
Arius. (not verified) papaswamp May 11, 2015 8:01 AM

buy in US dollar and sell in Yen or alternatively sell in Euros and buy in Yuan ...  still confused?

Fun Facts's picture

Gartmans hedge fund

long on stocks - short on brains

nakki's picture

How is this dude still on TV? Sell,sell,sell. Waiting for that huge 3% break for him to get neutral again. This guy flips more than a short order cook.

Apostle of Unknown's picture

Please stop posting about Gartman.

Wahooo's picture

Good. I purchased a lot of puts during the spike on Friday. #thanksdennis

ebworthen's picture

Gartman ought to just go all long, and say "cash on the sidelines" before any FOMC release.

It's robots gambling with unlimited money from FED/Treasury and no rule-of-law; so until Toto finds the Wizard of Oz and Dorothy goes back to Kansas it's all Poppies and flying monkeys.

Urban Roman's picture

Sell all the things!

pachanguero's picture

Paidl loser who I used to trick the muppets.


Oh and his use of high English is a joke.  He's what you get when you drag $100 bill through a trailer park.

RaceToTheBottom's picture

Up till now, the smart move has been to become a sheep.  Just not sure how long that will last.

Knowing me the minute I change will be the time to stop being a sheep.

Downtoolong's picture

Dear Dennis,

I’ve been a subscriber to your newsletter for almost a year. I never realized there was so much about the markets I didn’t understand until I followed your advice on when to buy and sell. Sure, I lost a lot of money. Who wouldn’t have? But, it was worth it for all the experience I got. I hope one day I’ll be smart enough like you to write my own market letters. That’s because I checked my brokerage account last Friday, and I only have $16.87 left in it. So, as you can see I can’t even afford your letters anymore. Please cancel my subscription, and thanks again for all your guidance.

Sincerely yours,


fremannx's picture

I thought I was wrong but I was mistaken? :-) Gartman apparently doesn't know his Dow Theory. There may be just a bit more upside to the markets before they start the big collapse, but I don't think it's wise to test the obvious non-confirmation between the Industrials and the Transports.


CarpetShag's picture

Do you think Dow Theory, which was " invented" in the 30s, has an iota of applicability today with index compositions that bear no resemblance to the 30s and in markets that are manipulated to fuck-squared and back again? Richard Russell has been completely and hopelessly off track with his calls for the last 6 years at least.
Quite apart from the absurd notion that future prices can be predicted from current chart patterns with any more probability of success than flipping a coin.

JRobby's picture

"When we are wrong we admit it"

When every aspect of your existence is "wrong" there is really only one thing to do. Euthanasia.

CarpetShag's picture

If you are going to be neutral , then you should be much more aggressive about it.

bobert727's picture

Wait....I thought he was long the S&P and short the Russell? That ain't working out too well either

Vooter's picture

"Our first step is then to become modestly long, and we shall."

Oh, SHALL you? What else shall you do, Your Majesty?