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Dilbert On College Graduate Career Options
More tips for the most-indebted graduate class ever...
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Dear Class of 2015,
Because we recognize your plight, allow us to provide you with a bit of friendly advice as it realtes to your student loans. Once you are uncerimoniously thrown from your dorm into the less-than robust US jobs market, you will likely discover that contrary to what you were told in your economics courses, the US economy is but a shadow of its former self.
Because you probably didn't study to become a petroleum engineer, you will likely find your student debt burden to be quite onerous. The key to having it discharged is to make just enough money to stay clear of bankruptcy, but not enough to really survive above the poverty line. This is because it's hard to have student debt discharged in the event you go completely broke.
However, if your discretionary income is so small as to render you incapable of making payments, the government will start you on a program whereby a monthly payment of zero dollars counts towards the 300 "payments" you need to make to have your debt forgiven. Toe this line carefully (i.e. don't slip up and start making too much discretionary income) and the entirety of your student debt will be forgiven in 25 short years without your ever having to pay a dime.
You're welcome,
Zero Hedge
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Wow such a deal, where do i sign?
Right here after your name, address, e-mail and social security number just below the line where you fill in the amount of your continuing annual contribution to the Democratic National Committee.
Woodrow Wilson:
“We want one class of persons to have a liberal education, and we want another class of persons, a very much larger class of necessity in every society, to forgo the privilege of a liberal education and fit themselves to perform specific difficult manual tasks.”Ha. Nice tip. Looking out for the chuldren.
Of course this assumes you took a Federal student loan instead of a private student loan in which case your screwed.
Ugh. Woodrow Wilson certainly had a liberal education, and yet he brought the USA the Federal Reserve, and then brought the USA into WW1. Nevertheless, I think all great men manage to get, either formally, or informally through their reading, a liberal education.
He said he was sorry for all of that. What more do you want........?
Well, a group price on a tour to piss on his grave might be a nice beginning to closure.
Can't discount the loss of opportunities and personal prospects that goes along with the off-shoring of the manufacturing base. The Trans Pacific Partnership must be opposed and stopped.
At least Tyler didn't rub it in that Waffle House district managers and UPS drivers make over $75K a year.
The term "liberal education" means (or used to mean, anyway) thorough education. NOT left-wing education, which is what most institutions of "higher" learning are in the business of today.
Right. The difference between college and a trade school is (used to be?) (is supposed to be?) (IMHO, should be?) that a college graduate has taken classes in history, language structure, and other things that get him started seeing his business as a small portion of the activity going on in the world, not as its own universe. Something like that. So, IMHO, ALL college educations are meant to be liberal educations.
Let's not forget he was a racist as well...
http://thelibertarianrepublic.com/top-10-racist-quotes-progressive-hero-...
Yep.
Woodrow Wilson who got elected the same way Bill Clinton got elected, because a strong person formed a third Party which took votes away from the Republican Party candidate. In Woodrow Wilson's case, Theodore Roosevelt (a Republican) opposed Taft, and started a third Party. I think Roosevelt thought Taft was caving in to business interests on some of Roosevelt's initiatives. In Bill Clinton's case, Ross Perot opposed Bush 1, and started a third Party. I think that was partly because Perot thought Bush 1 should do more to bring home POWs from both Vietnam and Iran. It may also have been Perot thought Bush 1 was caving in to business interests on outsourcing jobs to overseas (which Bill Clinton increased substantially).
It happens in Singapore also... with bifurcation at primary level and then at secondary level so only the selected few can go on to college etc This scene is changing though with many private colleges opening so there is now a shortage developing in the lower end of the job market, compounded by restriction on non-Singaporean (or PR) employment.
May I recommend importing Somalians?
Bingo! Finally, a course of action that makes sense. And while you're at it, have your mail forwarded to a beach in Baja California, like my cousin did. They have Internet down there.
Because a gun was put to your head, forcing you to make stupid choices....
I get your point, but you are talking about 17 year olds and their brainwashed parents.
The 'minor' in beer pong & Girls Gone Wild on Spring Break ought to serve some well.
@Helluva, you may have hit on the loop hole. A 17 year old is not responsible for contracts signed. Get the loans thrown out as fraud and not enforceable on a minor.
I get that. And these kids will get it too (some of them anyway) when they are 50. People really do need to stop telling kids they can be anything they want, because that is a huge fucking lie......
I agree. Put up or shut up. My girls are both in private school and kicking ass. However, they are not impressed by the AR-15 I just finished Duracoating so something is obviously wrong with their education.
Speaking for myself, "I don't like the color." :-)
They are afraid I will shoot the deer. I will. Might gut one next to the living room window.
That sounds like something I would do. In fact, I have shot a deer out of my bedroom window before. That's what the fuckers get for eating up my garden up to and including the POTATO PLANTS. Well, that is fine, I just ate venson instead. Now that I think of it, I forgot inform the authorities about that little incident. I forgot to buy a license too. Oops.
Deer do not eat rhododendrons, cactus or half the things that grow wild around here (that's why they grow wild around here). Tomatoes, potatos, oleanders or most everything else is a delicacy. I'm not sure I'd eat a critter that has been gazing on oleanders and nightshades but to each his own. <hard earned words of wisdom from someone with a creek on his property> The grandkids like watching the big meadow rats but I think their purpose in life is to adorn the pages of ZeroHedge on particularly good days.
So I hit a 180 lb doe (dressed at 154) with my truck in January this year. Cruising at 55mph, cruize control on and jamming to the DB's. Never even touched the brake, it happened fast. Call the police who gave me a posession permit, took it down the road in the back of the pickup to my house at 7PM (dark), Strung up the halogen lights and gave my kids an education on field dressing w the doe strung up on the swingset.
Didn't realize the 4 year old girl next door sat up in her bed and watched the whole thing out her window (the light was bright and alerted her that something was up). Told her parents the next day. Said "It was neat."
Somebody gonna get a great wife someday.
$1700. and change to fix the truck.
HORRY FRACKING SHE-ITE!
11 bucks a pound! Kind of expensive...
I hope you have a local butcher who can make up some Jerky.
There's a fracking herd of them on the south side of the lake (that I have to drive by every day, twice a day). I've had a couple of 'close encounters' but I've never been, well, 'lucky'.
When I lived 'down under', the truckers used to have these big cages welded on the front of their trucks called " 'Roo Catchers". Hitting a kangaroo with a triple coupled to a Large Car travelling 140 klicks or more is somewhat of an experience. In the CONUS, they call them 'brush guards'; for the smaller trucks. Gotta find one that comes to a point in the middle (like they have on trains). Radiators and grilles and windshields and stuff are expensive (but a garden hose and some satin black paint in a spray can will make the rig look as good as new). Don't think you can mount 'driving lights' on it, though. Replacement every time you play 'whack a mole' gets to be tedious.
Take good care to watch out for your neighbors' daughter. She's got the right idea. For GOD'S SAKE, don't let her go to COLLEGE!
You goofballs. There was an assumption here that I lived in the suburbs when I shot the deer out the window. No, I grew up in the sticks. We relied on harvesting our own food and when the deer population got out of control something had to give. These were not pet deer and they were wild and they were crafty about how they were fucking me. I've killed a quite a few of the bastards over the years. A deer is not beautiful, it's a target and a pest. Any animal that fucks with my stuff is a target.
Now quit fucking around here and go find me some .22 ammo for sale that isn't more $5 a box. Good luck.
Sorry but deer are beautiful. If you want good eatin' bag yourself a baby. In a pinch, old people work too but you have to boil them first.
Deer are indeed beautiful. But everything dies. Everybody dies. Everything we eat is something that has died or is about to die in our stomachs. And pretty much everything alive on this planet right now is mostly recycled out of things that lived and died before. The deer that are here right now would not be alive if other things before them had not died. And, although I would love to have a Tardes so that I could come back every hundred years or so for a quick looksee and see what this planet is doing, personally, I don't mind dying. I just mind pain. :-)
Hard to find .22s
My young lad found four (500) Remington boxes for me last month...$180 with tax...Canadian
First time I met my neice's fiancee he was late for supper. He was driving along when a lady hit a doe. The doe was alive and the lady was crying. Casey said he'd put it out of its misery, and hit it in the head with an axe. The lady thanked him and drove off. She never did know he threw the deer into the back of his truck and took it home.
I knew Casey was a keeper when I heard the story.
Know a gal who hit a buck in her little car. It came through the windshield alive and really messed her up. Poor thing had some permanent neurologic damage.
A couple of my kids have a fully funded ride to a reasonably affordable State college but do not know what they want to do/be when they grow up so they are working jobs in their areas of interest to see if they want to spend their lives doing it before they waste four years of their lives and a hundred thousand dollars.......
If your kids follow the school guidance counselors, they will be good little socialists and major in gender studies or social justice and then look for a meaningful position at a non profit. Or you could send them to the marine corps for a few years and get men back....
Yeah, let the bankers and corporate fucks use them. Here is the formula:
1. Send kids to military to make men out of them
2. Let them die, or kill others and come back with PTSD.
3. Exploit someone....
4. Profit!
My husband is ex-service. I am proud as hell of him and his service. They take this protective sheep dog instinct that some folks have and exploit it. Makes me angry enough that I have learned a little about fire arms too...fuckers...
It is a puny 223/5.5.6 Drag out that ar10 308 and if they dont wet themselves they must not be related.
Nothing screams masculinity like a $1500, 10lb rifle that does nothing better than an AR-15 unmagnified, and nothing better than a Remington 700 magnified. Also, your ammo weighs twice as much as .556
Are you kidding me? Most states out west wont let you shoot a puny deer with a .22 caliber of any kind including the MIGHTY 223. If you just want to piss off that charging bear shoot it with a 556. If you want to kill game animals, better use a 308 and the new M&P 10 from Smith and Wesson weighs in a 7.6 pounds unloaded.
I keep a 10-22 Ruger break down in the cab of my tractor, with an automatic trigger.
I know a .22 sounds like kid's stuff, but a 25 shot banana clip empties in 2 seconds. It makes a hellofa bunch of holes real fast and with a lazer I can shoot it from the hip in the dark. I also have a 120 shot clip, but I'm saving it for when TSHTF.
I still keep a Weatherby 300...for the long shots, but sob it hurts.
you have never gone to a WalMart I see.....a .223 will just tickle their asses..
How many rounds can a 700 hold? How many in a 20 round AR-10 mag +1 in the chamber? That is a huge difference. Also, follow up shots are handier with the AR as well as not having to move your hand from the controls to cycle the action. Also, AR wins for overall ergonomics and the ability to instantly go to irons if optics fail (offsets).
I'll give the 700 wins for real long range accuracy (but 308 is not a actually a long range cartridge) and reliability.
Shooting big game with 223 is inhumane. .30 is far superior and safer (for the shooter).
Screw it. Load up the ma deuce on the back of a Toyota if you wanna get technical.
Pictures of that shit always crack me up.
If you have a 50 cal on the back of your Toyota, you need some plate, other wise you are such an obvious target in a real "situation." So many times you see the gun and NOTHING! Like fucking any and everyone without a condom.
don't show them a barrett m107, you don't know what they will do next
Yeah, dunno man. Lost all my 7.62s in a canoe accident. Damn that river.
Oh man too bad.. dont tell me you had all your gold and silver with you too.. That happens to me 2 maybe 3 times a year!
I find it rather strange that so many people seem to have the same problems regarding so-called 'tragic boating accidents'.
'Port' is LEFT.
'Starboard' is RIGHT.
(Don't spit to windward.)
RED, RIGHT, RETURNING. 'There is no RED PORT wine LEFT.' (It is a matter of YOUR perspective, as far as locating the other boat's direction as it approaches you.)
In AIRCRAFT, the departing light is BLUE on the right (GREEN in sea craft), with the 'center light' ('masthead light') being WHITE. It's RED on the left, in BOTH the aircraft AND the marine usage (from the perspective of the one on the craft who is navigating forward).
Of course, the Inland Waterways run by the same rules. Usually. In the case of a canoe, it's usually not 'regulated' because it's too small (and underpowered). Accidents regarding these craft are usually not reported, as they go 'under the radar' of regulations.
Your losses are truly tragic. It's best for you if you didn't discuss them.
D'YA KEN, LADDIES?
I do think the problem is these fellas get out there in a canoe and have to pee so they stand up and kerplunk, in they go.
HelluvaEngineer - a tiny tweak to your project will get your girls on board. Behold the HK-15
http://tinyurl.com/kqc67gn
Adorable!
The discussion on that board is ignorant sad.
"People really do need to stop telling kids they can be anything they want, because that is a huge fucking lie......"
We've all been raised by television to believe that one day we'd all be millionaires and movie gods and rock stars, but we won't, and we're slowly learning that fact. And we're very, very pissed off.
The problem isn't telling kids they can be anything they want. It is in encouraging them to be things that are stupid like millionaires, movie gods, and rock stars.
You nailed it. I got through college working part time....took 5.5 years but zero debt. I fucked up and should have run it up from Obama's stash.
But... but... Dilbert is an engineer, and the company he works for is a high-tech company. Didn't some vaunted resource report here just yesterday or the day before that just-out-of-college engineers were going for $80,000 - $100,000 per year? Tell me the $34,000 per year isn't true! :-)
Nonsense. But junior developers likely go for $60k. Senior devs go for $110k+. Do you want to argue?
That sounds about right to me. I thought the $34k in Dilbert was low, but I also thought the $87k in the article was high. And $110k sounds right for a good professional technical person who is NOT a salesman. For salesmen, of course, the sky is the limit.
the 87k was median salary for college educated, age 25-59
Hmm... Well, good; we SHOULD pay people well to learn math and science, and to invent stuff, because that's pretty much what we as humans do. Invent stuff. But I still think salaries depend a lot on what City and State you are in.
I've been working on the ITC sector for many years, and I have yet to see a big company that hire a college graduate to a permanent position. At best, they hire you as an intern for a year or two, most of the new hires are 27-31, and it is a second or third career job. Not senior, but not junior either. Also keep in mind that google and facebook, are like 0.1 of the workforce.
I've been working on the ITC sector for many years, and I have yet to see a big company that hire a college graduate to a permanent position. At best, they hire you as an intern for a year or two, most of the new hires are 27-31, and it is a second or third career job. Not senior, but not junior either. Also keep in mind that google and facebook, are like 0.1 of the workforce.
It depends where you live/work. $110K in the Bay Area isn't gonna do much.
I got it. http://www.zerohedge.com/news/2015-05-07/presenting-best-and-worst-college-majors#comment-6071469
$87,000 for computer engineers.
Not too long ago we were doing a phone interview with someone who had a MS in Telecommunications, BS in Mathematics and was currently unemployed. He had been out of college for a couple of years.
With the HR Manager in the room, since he did not trust us to ask the good PC questions, we asked him a fairly bland question. "What do you like to do when you are at work?" His answer caused us to mute the phone because we had just figured out why he was currently unemployed and we were laughing so hard... " I like to watch people work!"
He didn't get the job...
That's FUNNY!
I HAD a kid who owns a 2007 BMW 328i with about 86,000 miles on it, who asked me to figure out what was wrong with his car. He's 23 or so. He told me he bought it from an 18-year-old porn star (female). Bunch of BMW-specific codes, all having to do with the issues regarding the 51 'technical service bulletins' that have been released by BMW (this is ONLY in the 'engine controls'). I printed them off, and explained them to him, like a daddy would do for his five-year-old kid. He looked at me as if to say 'I don't understand a fucking thing you are saying, but, um, O.K.', and I asked him if he got any copies of this 'porn star's movies. He LAUGHED nervously... and was quite embarrassed (he bought the car with 'Daddy's Money', you see).
TRUE STORY, and it happened about 6 hours ago.
DADDY should have paid for this kid to have an hour with the Porn Star.
The internet has brought us easy access to manuals, textbooks, and how-to articles on YouTube and many other places. Truly, it is, IMHO, becoming a worthy tool that helps us (me, at least) accomplish many things we might never in the past have attempted.
I talked to a Poly Sci major at a $50,000/year school a few years back.
She was heading to the Balkans to be an aid worker for 6 months.
She was utterly cluesless that Albanian muslims wore the SS patch during WWII and that the Serbs are white Christians who fought the Nazis with everything they had.
History is enormous! If I remember correctly, and I may not, Serbia fighting Austrian imperialism was what started WW1. She may have to read up on Serbian and Albanian history on her own.
I really need to thank my dad for recommending I study petroleum engineering and driving me to graduate while the price of crude was still high...
Just wait son, WW III is just around the corner!
Laid off yet? Or did the tool shop where you work decide to keep you on as a driver?
The people of this generation are a lot smarter, more positive, more inventive and more resourceful than my generation. We just zombied into the first job that would take us, under the delusion that if we worked hard and kissed the right asses, we'd be promoted.
The generation before us were greedy yes-men who kept American flags waving in front of their buildings.
This younger generation is innovative and enterprising. They speak truth to power. And, unfortunately, they're going to need those skills and more. But they will succeed.
In the end we all wind up in pine boxes. Winning.......
I'm shooting for the particle board box.
Leave your body to science and deny a funeral parlor the income - what a sweet racket they've got going. Your kids can wake you at the local bar and have a nice party. After science is done with you they cremate you and send your ashes to your heirs. They can pick up a nice urn somewhere or scatter you in a favorite place.
I'm shooting for the particle board box.
So long undertakers and carpenters eh?
You can't win, but you CAN laugh. :-)
Yes they will Sir Barks and they will do it in style. I have great faith in the generation that is going to have to go through shit and high water to make it to the US. 1940's.
Of course their expectations of 'success' might change a bit from ours.
That's some very wishful thinking. The propaganda about the 18-34 year olds has been laid on thick and heavy, but it's completely untrue. They are no different than the tax cattle that came before them.
If someone offers you a job in this crony cartel economy, you take it. There's no blame to be laid in this environment that is devoid of meaningful choice.
Nurses and gravediggers in demand.
No secret nurses and hospital workers are in demand but so are grave diggers.
http://nfda.org/about-funeral-service-/trends-and-statistics.html
Bodybag makers in demand.
Degrees are supposed to be a club membership card but not any more. HFT has meant a 95% decrease in the body count. Automated burger flippers etc etc. What's left for engineers to invent? Faster, smaller more efficient fart propelled rocket engines.
History, bah , whose version? Politics, Economics, Accounting Malpractice?
LAWYERS, always work for lawyers , however the LEGAL AID ( what's left of it; can't pursue an unfair dismissal unless you have your own money ) has been handed to the BIG FIRMS ( sometimes unqualified ).
Medicine,O'barryDon'tcare.
Arts and Craft ( leased out to third world countries )
Physics, moar Fusion , bigger explosions.
Chemcast; too many chems out there, dude.
Agri; Monsanto's got all the seeds mannnnnnnn.
Best GO IT ALONE ( group,family, friends ) and get all your learning on Z/H which will at least will give you a clear idea on the Pitfalls.
What's left for engineers to invent? A TARDES! :-)
Just a different form of slavery or being indentured. While they have the choice to not partake, many do it believing it's a path to a better life. It's a pretty fucked up world. Always has been. Always will be I imagine.
Too bad you're too young to remember, "I owe my soul to the company store." You owe your soul to the government's and Obama's hustle.
Too bad you're too young to remember...
My three year old grandson already sings along with the Gentleman from Tennessee, one is never too young to start.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Joo90ZWrUkU
jmo.
It's good advice.
Alternatively you can go to community college (for free), learn a valuable trade (carpentry, brick laying, plumbing or electrical work) and then work for cash in hand, never paying tax - ever.
You can go to community college for free and learn a trade? That will be news to all the people who are paying through the nose and working their way through school anyway. Most of these apprenticeships are on long term programs that require class time over 5 years these days.
In some states the state 4 year colleges have programs that cost thousands of dollars, and have to be paid up front and completed before you can access the rest of the program. Competition is stiff, and unions are cartels that shut people out instead of labor reps. There is a line miles long in each state to get into the heavy equipment operators union, while Ford and GM only have a handful of sponsorships to award to students who enter the mechanic programs at select 2 year colleges.
Simply put, we are all full up and there are no opportunities. There are no more ditches that need to be dug, and we're getting to the point where burgers need no more flipping.
Something has to change, or the ruling class in America is going to find itself on the outs. They have been poor managers and people are getting smart enough to not need controllers in their lives or systems.
There's plenty of bridges that are falling down and need rebuilding. Or are you telling me that you have to be a part of the union to do any kind of work in the US these days?
can't read, write or add wtf good are ya?
ahhhh after reading this all i thought was, can't wait for the cashless society! no more off the books work.
Too stupid to do the business case - oh well - tough sht.
What's the typical interest rate for a student loan these days? My 8-years of post-secondary... came up to less than $250/month.
Is 4% about right? That's twice the rate I paid in the late 90s... as there are 101 programs that award rate discounts to autopayments, 12 straight successful payments, etc.
At 4% for 20 years (because most folks consolidate into a single loan)... thats a monthly payment of $1211.96
Even at $34k/year... that's certainly not 'live under a bridge' proverty.
It's a mortgage without the house.
Uh, hello, college graduate, your student debt is your fucking problem. Did you not take math in high school??? what the hell were you thinking??? Pay your debts and shut the hell up!!
Join us or live in indebted misery...
Lumberg..... Ahh yeah hi, I know you're living under a bridge, so I'm going to need you to take a shower before coming in sunday... Thaaaanks Peter!