This page has been archived and commenting is disabled.

Riddle Me This: The Difference Between Headlines And Reality

Tyler Durden's picture




 

Submitted by Lance Roberts via STA Wealth Management,

 

 

- advertisements -

Comment viewing options

Select your preferred way to display the comments and click "Save settings" to activate your changes.
Tue, 05/12/2015 - 16:39 | 6086421 MonetaryApostate
MonetaryApostate's picture

Riddle Solved....

https://youtu.be/Hz6iBu2CBU4

Tue, 05/12/2015 - 16:48 | 6086443 TeamDepends
TeamDepends's picture

What happens? Jade Helm, that's what happens. Also, don't forget that net neutrality starts June 12th.

Tue, 05/12/2015 - 17:17 | 6086622 CPL
CPL's picture

It starts a civil war that will spill over every border like a wildfire fueled by decades of pent up rage and targeted vengeance, beyond sense or reason.  It'll be a blind fight that no level of coordination or preparation will ever stop.  It will run white hot until a group flinches and triggers the Sampson option.  With a handful of nukes launched, the old deadman switches activate over-riding every government agency attempting to stop it from happening as their cold war ancestors ensured that their 'way of life' would be preserved at all costs. 

The sky fills with the 20000 nuclear missiles everyone lied about deactivating and dismantling.  Some of the missiles are caught in the anti-nuclear deterrent systems, but 80% still manage to meet their targets. The world is shadows, smoke and glass.  To finish the job the 3400 nuclear power plants around the world unable to obtain the fuel needed for cooling go critical and pump poison into the air, ground and water for a 1000 years.  Then it starts to snow and snow and snow, then glacial period starts for 130000 years until the next inter-glacial while the remaining life on earth mutates.

It will be a world where the living envy the dead.  Best bedtime story ever.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BDMmj5WgB8c

 

Tue, 05/12/2015 - 17:42 | 6086773 A Lunatic
A Lunatic's picture

You mistakenly left the fluffy unicorns out of your story.....

Tue, 05/12/2015 - 16:39 | 6086425 gdiamond22
gdiamond22's picture

Soooo, you're telling me I should buy stocks?

I read ya, I read ya

Tue, 05/12/2015 - 16:54 | 6086493 ersatz007
ersatz007's picture

No - you don't just buy stocks.  You need to get wealthy, then you buy 'equities'.  Better yet, get wealthy parents.  Then get wealthier as a result of that.  Then buy equities and real estate.  Janet Yellen said so.

Basically - stop being poor.  Problem solved.   

Tue, 05/12/2015 - 16:47 | 6086464 BoPeople
BoPeople's picture

Well duhhhh ... this is the NEW and improved normal. Things that conflicted and were nonsensical in the past need never be resolved today because they make perfect sense.

Didn't you get the memo ... Janet declared it so.

Tue, 05/12/2015 - 16:48 | 6086467 BoPeople
BoPeople's picture

doop

Tue, 05/12/2015 - 16:50 | 6086475 Dragon HAwk
Dragon HAwk's picture

Dude we can't reenter a recession... we need a new word, something classy, with some spin...

  Notational Drawback..

 that's the ticket, after years of recovery American has entered a period of Notational Drawback. we expect Growth to reemerge  shortly

Tue, 05/12/2015 - 16:57 | 6086505 ersatz007
ersatz007's picture

Hoaw about:  "Derivative Double-Take"?  And get Aaron Rogers to be the spokesperson...he's a football player so then it will be cool (like discount doublecheck)

Tue, 05/12/2015 - 17:00 | 6086525 enforcer92677
enforcer92677's picture

Yes!

 

Or our economy is currently in a "Notational Pause period" Or "Notationally Paused" and we expect a growth and expansion to kick off once again as soon as all that money on the sidelines feels safe to come back in again!

 

Have a really hot finance babe read this out loud.  ( . )  ( . )

Tue, 05/12/2015 - 23:13 | 6087982 JoWazzoo
JoWazzoo's picture

Everything will be Sooper Awesome as soon as those dumb ass consumers start spending their Gasoline Savings.  [CNBS Spinhead - What ever the fuck are wrong with them?]  BUT Wait!  I caught Cramer quite by accident and he said China is gonna take off like a rocket and will save the world.  Really - he said that.  And he said to buy Chinese stawks NOW!  Recall thge NIGHT BEFORE the last crash startred he said to BUY, BUY, BUY.  His words.

 

Now I must go vomit.

 

BTW - Call you and raise you a cup size.  (    .    )   (    .    )

Tue, 05/12/2015 - 17:14 | 6086611 JohnG
JohnG's picture

The newest fancy term is "Negative Growth."

Tue, 05/12/2015 - 22:10 | 6087792 Wahooo
Wahooo's picture

We're in menopause. There is no turning back.

Tue, 05/12/2015 - 16:55 | 6086486 ersatz007
ersatz007's picture

dupe

Tue, 05/12/2015 - 17:01 | 6086515 Duck and Cover
Duck and Cover's picture

It will be resolved in about 20 years.

We are all now Japanese.

Tue, 05/12/2015 - 17:02 | 6086530 A Lunatic
A Lunatic's picture

All of the chart data is made up by psychopaths. The MSM is run by more psychopaths. The majority of consumers use their brains for toilet paper. Evidently it works and everyone is happy......

Tue, 05/12/2015 - 17:03 | 6086537 Comte d'herblay
Comte d'herblay's picture

There may not be a riddle at all.

In a new shopping center, upscale strip mall, there now exists on a formerly vacant lot a new restaurant called, "Anthony's Coal-Fired Pizza". Menu below:

https://acfp.com/our-menu/

U willl notice there are no prices listed on it.  What's that usually tell U?   It's got to be the top end of pizza prices.

A simple pie will set U back about $20.00. For fried dough with some sauce, cheese, and a few options.

The place is nearly always packed for lunch and dinner.  It's kinda like the Italian version of Chipotle Mexican Grill where the ingredients are always fresh, and best quality. 

However, who can afford $30.00 for a pizza?  Those who are gainfully employed and able to spend their disposable income not too wisely.  If Anthony's is any indication of how well quite a few folks are doing in this town, one can only imagine what it must like in Silicon Valet, Texas, and non-oil or coal patch (lately)producing cities and states.

And by the looks of the late model cars and $50,000 RAM 2500 Turbodiesels in the car park of the local municipal golf course, the middle classes are at least temporarily unworried about their future. 

Chances are we as a once single country have silently split apart, without the inconvenience and bloodshed of Secession wars, with a working class that appears to be getting by nicely, scattered hither and yon all over the place, an Uber Wealthy class that trickles its spending down like a golden shower upon the rest of those who supply them with their coke, crystal, and Cristal, as well as their 170 mm paintings, and other accoutrements.

And the so-called poor who aren't doing to awful badly other than being bored collecting welfare and WIC payments for generations, the work ethic having been bred out of the class over 3-4 generations, and a woeful lack of great jobs with good pay and benefits,  making survival not a bad option, with an occasional inner city looting spree to help balance things a bit. 

I don't think anyone has a grasp of the diversity of the economic opportunity in this country as they do say, in Spain where it is far easier to decipher the goings on economically.

 

 

Tue, 05/12/2015 - 18:07 | 6086857 deflator
deflator's picture

 Maybe if you took a poll of these wealthy $30 cheese eaters you would find a majority of them are government workers or in health care?

 

 edit--locations New York, Massachusetts, Pennsylvania, Delaware, Florida and New Jersey. Better add in real estate ,insurance and finance.

Tue, 05/12/2015 - 17:07 | 6086569 Ghordius
Ghordius's picture

"Central Bank interventions were an emergency measure to keep global economies from falling to depressionary levels"

that's the dogma currently propagated

the truth is uglier: QE does not "heal". It only spreds pain through time

Tue, 05/12/2015 - 17:09 | 6086579 Ajax_USB_Port_R...
Ajax_USB_Port_Repair_Service_'s picture

"Filling The Gap With Credit" Nice chart!

Tue, 05/12/2015 - 17:25 | 6086667 SirBarksAlot
SirBarksAlot's picture

Damn! That last chart is off the charts.

How much of that is Obamacare?

Tue, 05/12/2015 - 17:34 | 6086720 MajorFall
MajorFall's picture

...still waiting for a job...

Tue, 05/12/2015 - 18:51 | 6087112 q99x2
q99x2's picture

The welfaring is working great. I haven't lived this good in a decade.

Tue, 05/12/2015 - 20:30 | 6087460 Niall Of The Ni...
Niall Of The Nine Hostages's picture

It'll be resolved when that wage-profit ratio reaches zero.

Tue, 05/12/2015 - 21:04 | 6087575 blindman
blindman's picture

as steve hughes said,
/
"fuck off you cunt". (ancient Australian wisdom saying)
i think that covers it?
no? explain if the difference
is worth the distinction.

Tue, 05/12/2015 - 21:15 | 6087611 petedanels
petedanels's picture

I am so terrified, pissed, depressed, & can do nothing about it.  We need to get up off our asses & take down the c.b., government, & everything else that's causing the demise of America!  I wanna be proud of my country again!  I'm sick of being ashamed!

Tue, 05/12/2015 - 22:55 | 6087927 Westcoastliberal
Westcoastliberal's picture

Many people feel just the same as you, Pete.  Hang in there.  Our day will come.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9PHSarCSO8Y

 

Tue, 05/12/2015 - 22:17 | 6087806 MedicalQuack
MedicalQuack's picture

News rigging has arrived with journobots having the ability to crank out charts to match the headlines too..scary...tomorrow NY Times stuff starts running through the Facebook News feed, indeed news rigging is here..

http://ducknetweb.blogspot.com/2015/04/news-rigging-has-arrived-astroturf-and.html

Wait until the 20 cents to read news articles starts and supposedly all the big guys are in, NYT, WSJ, WashPost and more.

http://ducknetweb.blogspot.com/2015/03/major-us-newspapers-sign-up-and-invest.html

60% of what you read in news I read now is generated by bots, what a starving media has been forced to do..all about money. 

 

Tue, 05/12/2015 - 22:46 | 6087903 Westcoastliberal
Westcoastliberal's picture

What we have are government propoganda numbers spewed forth not to enlighten or inform but to obfuscate the truth.  Some such as the BLS bullshit are obvious, but consider that MOST of the info we get from government is just as skewed.  They're staying awake nights to find new ways of lying to us. It's high time we stopped them.

Sat, 05/16/2015 - 06:17 | 6099942 Expat
Expat's picture

And another related issue, taxes.

The rich whine about how they pay most of the taxes.  This is true.  And it used to be simply because they earned so much more money than everyone else.  Now there is a twist.  Not only are the rich getting massively wealthier, but the bottom half probably no longer even qualifies to pay taxes.  Basically the poor and lower middle class have done so badly that they have dropped below minimum federal levels for tax payments. 

Of course, the rich don't consider that.  They look at 30 million people earning 25k each ( 750 BILLION in income) and they whine that these people are bloodsucking scum who pay no taxes and get all kinds of benefits.

Basically, fuck the rich.  I frankly cannot conceive of how America or the world could get worse if we killed everyone with over 10 million in net wealth and then blew up Wall Street.  Seriously?  Could it be worse?  Well, not for me anyway.

Do NOT follow this link or you will be banned from the site!