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America (Summed Up In 1 Strip Mall Sign)

Tyler Durden's picture




 

Something for everyone.

 

Source: Lonely Libertarian

 

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Wed, 05/13/2015 - 15:46 | 6090488 FOC 1183
FOC 1183's picture

"In the day we sweat it out in the streets of a runaway American dream"

Wed, 05/13/2015 - 15:49 | 6090508 Ruffmuff
Ruffmuff's picture

IT does not have adult book store, so it ain't for shit.

Wed, 05/13/2015 - 15:51 | 6090525 nope-1004
nope-1004's picture

Space Available LLP - "America's largest 21st Century Lessee"

 

Wed, 05/13/2015 - 15:54 | 6090541 7.62x54r
7.62x54r's picture

It also needs a tote-the-note car lot, a payday loan, a pawn shop, and a rent-to-own furniture store. And a trailer park.

Wed, 05/13/2015 - 16:07 | 6090617 Four chan
Four chan's picture

liquor in the front poker in the rear.

Wed, 05/13/2015 - 16:09 | 6090630 Tom Servo
Tom Servo's picture

Bet that's in Florida..

 

Wed, 05/13/2015 - 16:15 | 6090649 Dave Thomas
Dave Thomas's picture

Throw in a payday / title loan place, washateria, and a tatoo parlor and it'd be Houston

Wed, 05/13/2015 - 16:18 | 6090663 MonetaryApostate
MonetaryApostate's picture

Nailed it...

Wed, 05/13/2015 - 16:21 | 6090671 Stackers
Stackers's picture

Around here it's .... Yoga Salon, Nail Salon, Hair Salon, Day Care, 24hr Urgent Care Clinic (apparantly the latest franchise craze, literally building them on every corner in Houston)

Wed, 05/13/2015 - 16:23 | 6090679 new game
new game's picture

we buy gold, ha. massage parlor rounds it out for me...

Wed, 05/13/2015 - 16:35 | 6090701 Surly Bear
Surly Bear's picture

Notice how Home Depot, Lowes, or Ace Hardware stores are not located next to banks? Nailguns <cough>

Wed, 05/13/2015 - 16:37 | 6090729 lordylord
lordylord's picture

Needs a WIC accepted here sign.

Wed, 05/13/2015 - 16:48 | 6090771 KJWqonfo7
KJWqonfo7's picture

Its Santee, Kalifornia no sign needed...

Best sign I saw was one in northern Kalifornia that read 

"Because everyone is entitled to fresh, healthy food."

 

 


Wed, 05/13/2015 - 16:59 | 6090820 TruxtonSpangler
TruxtonSpangler's picture

Where is this? I want to move there.

Wed, 05/13/2015 - 17:23 | 6090922 toady
toady's picture

What, no Starbucks? 

Wed, 05/13/2015 - 18:27 | 6091080 Big Corked Boots
Big Corked Boots's picture

I'm surprised nobody mentioned a lawyer.

DWI? Divorce? A&B? Get hurt? You can sue for MONEY DAMAGES!

Wed, 05/13/2015 - 18:42 | 6091149 eatthebanksters
eatthebanksters's picture

I'm going to buy this place and rent one of the empty spaces to a massage parlor and move into the other...it will have everything I need!

Wed, 05/13/2015 - 18:54 | 6091146 Tall Tom
Tall Tom's picture

Right next door to Lakeside, Kalifornia...where I live.

 

San Diego is a nice place.

 

Sign is located near Prospect and Magnolia.

 

We have a Starbucks in Lakeside...as well as in Santee.

 

I live at 12223B Woodside Ave in Lakeside, KJWgonefo7...

 

Where are you? Come on over and visit.

Wed, 05/13/2015 - 16:48 | 6090774 max2205
max2205's picture

"BJ and smack around Back"

 

Wed, 05/13/2015 - 16:56 | 6090810 Son of Loki
Son of Loki's picture

The biggest ever global school rankings have been published, with Asian countries in the top five places and African countries at the bottom. (BBC)

 

http://www.bbc.com/news/business-32608772

 

Dats Rayciss

Wed, 05/13/2015 - 18:14 | 6091049 fastrakn1
fastrakn1's picture

"The biggest ever global school rankings have been published, with Asian countries in the top five places and African countries at the bottom. (BBC)"

 

WHO KNEW!

Wed, 05/13/2015 - 20:00 | 6091382 Handful of Dust
Handful of Dust's picture

A nursing student at Misericordia University has filed suit against the university, claiming that the school broke federal law by denying her the ability to talk to her professor during an exam.

Jennifer Burbella is suing the university, several members of the administration and staff, as well the professor after she failed a required course two times.

Burbella said that she suffered from a host of mental health problems, including anxiety, depression and poor concentration, and that the university failed to make reasonable accommodations to her testing environment to account for her disability.

 

http://www.washingtonpost.com/news/grade-point/wp/2015/05/13/nursing-stu...

 

Too bad -- looks like she would have made a GREAT nurse !

Thu, 05/14/2015 - 01:07 | 6092050 Chad_the_short_...
Chad_the_short_seller's picture

Are u a fucking niggerlover?

Wed, 05/13/2015 - 16:28 | 6090691 Perseus son of Zeus
Perseus son of Zeus's picture

Leave it to a Lonely Libertarian to provide this.

Can we all say FUCK YOU! Libertarian together?

Wed, 05/13/2015 - 17:10 | 6090868 Dame Ednas Possum
Dame Ednas Possum's picture

I'm sure we can all say the first part up to the ! just right...

Wed, 05/13/2015 - 17:33 | 6090955 Perseus son of Zeus
Perseus son of Zeus's picture

Exactly my point. It's not Lonely Libertarian's it's fucking lazy Libertarian's.

Typing on their computers and taking selfies at the mall, like OMG Becky! How about do something about it? And making fucking bitcoins is not the same as silting Lord Balkfeins throat! You piece of shit lazy fucks!

Wed, 05/13/2015 - 21:12 | 6091562 Thirtyseven
Thirtyseven's picture

Slightly more upper scale burbs then.

I've known since my teens that if you see a check cashing place you're in a bad neighborhood. 

Of course now they're in most of them.

Wed, 05/13/2015 - 16:29 | 6090694 Stoploss
Stoploss's picture

 On the West side...

Wed, 05/13/2015 - 16:37 | 6090727 semperfi
semperfi's picture

Fresno

Wed, 05/13/2015 - 19:26 | 6091289 Tall Tom
Tall Tom's picture

I do not live in Fresno.

 

It is Santee.

Wed, 05/13/2015 - 16:55 | 6090804 crisrose
Wed, 05/13/2015 - 18:54 | 6091197 willwork4food
willwork4food's picture

We have a winner!

Wed, 05/13/2015 - 19:24 | 6091281 Tall Tom
Tall Tom's picture

Guaranteed.

Wed, 05/13/2015 - 18:52 | 6091188 Kirk2NCC1701
Kirk2NCC1701's picture

"liquor in the front poker in the rear.'

Sounds an awful lot like something naughty you do with a woman.  Dat you Barry?

Wed, 05/13/2015 - 16:08 | 6090625 Skateboarder
Skateboarder's picture

Nails & Salon place missing as well.

Wed, 05/13/2015 - 16:17 | 6090657 The_Dude
The_Dude's picture

Needs Check Cashing, Envio Monedas, and Herbal Medicine (cough...cough) if you are in Cali

...and of course the obligatory 'Ya aceptamos EBT' for the win!!

Wed, 05/13/2015 - 16:17 | 6090659 Chupacabra-322
Chupacabra-322's picture

Space Available for:

Asain Massage with a happy ending.

Wed, 05/13/2015 - 16:21 | 6090673 Silky Johnson
Silky Johnson's picture

Awwww yeah! Can't forget the rub'n'tug. Fucky sucky siktee dollah.

Wed, 05/13/2015 - 18:18 | 6091060 fastrakn1
fastrakn1's picture

Me so hoooney!

Me love you long time...20 dollah, Joe!

Wed, 05/13/2015 - 20:05 | 6091398 natty light
natty light's picture

Vape shop

Tatoo parlor

Nail did shop

Electronic gambling hole-in-the-wall 

Payday advance 

 

 

Wed, 05/13/2015 - 15:53 | 6090543 Ruffmuff
Ruffmuff's picture

And where is the pawn shop too???

Ruffmuffs Pawn and Porn, makes it perfect for the future of merica....

Wed, 05/13/2015 - 16:00 | 6090578 oddjob
oddjob's picture

There was a 'We Buy Gold' operation.

Wed, 05/13/2015 - 16:02 | 6090588 Bunghole
Bunghole's picture

It ain't a strip mall without a car title loan joint and a Radio Shack

Wed, 05/13/2015 - 16:03 | 6090592 SickDollar
SickDollar's picture

welcome to new sheeple mall

Wed, 05/13/2015 - 23:07 | 6091840 Cynicles
Cynicles's picture

Space Available LLP - "America's largest 21st Century Lessee"

A dead end biz for sure.

Video Killed The Radio Star 

Internet killed the walk in biz 

Wed, 05/13/2015 - 16:10 | 6090634 Perimetr
Perimetr's picture

No Bibles?  No adult dancing?  No massage parlor? No family pawn????

You need to come to southern Missouri

Wed, 05/13/2015 - 16:36 | 6090722 Ruffmuff
Ruffmuff's picture

Oh your great state of Misery...

Wed, 05/13/2015 - 16:25 | 6090685 Crocodile
Crocodile's picture

Adult book stores are a thing of the past except for the occasional truck stop; that is why you have a computer.  It is also why America has gone down the moral crap whole; people like yourself.

Wed, 05/13/2015 - 16:38 | 6090730 Ruffmuff
Ruffmuff's picture

Oh waaa, your little willie don't work no more?

Plus you can monitor what the wife has been up to and who's been up in her...

Wed, 05/13/2015 - 16:47 | 6090757 czarangelus
czarangelus's picture

There's no perversion as toxic as abstaining from sex before/outside marriage. 1. Almost nobody does it but 2. even though everybody does it they've let a cabal of second-rate used God salesmen who themselves mostly fiddle kids or go butt spelunking convince them that one of humanity's most basic urges and profound pleasures is immoral to enjoy.

Wed, 05/13/2015 - 16:36 | 6090721 Sanity Bear
Sanity Bear's picture

BOOK store??

 

Let me bring you up to speed, or at least to a decade ago (Sesame Street style):

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cNARJPNz2CA

Wed, 05/13/2015 - 16:59 | 6090825 Dig Deeper1
Dig Deeper1's picture

Space Available 1 = Hookers

Space Available 2 = Blow

Wed, 05/13/2015 - 18:11 | 6091043 fastrakn1
fastrakn1's picture

It also doesn't have 'PAWN' and 'LOTTERY SOLD HERE'.

Cause with this economy, you are broke and have to sell your stuff to survive, and buying lotto tickets cause your living on a prayer...

Wed, 05/13/2015 - 19:21 | 6091275 Tall Tom
Tall Tom's picture

Santee Pawn Shop closed its doors.

 

The owner retired.

 

The San Diego Sheriff Department has affectively closed Westcoast Pawn below my apartment in Lakeside.

 

Crown Pawn in Lakeside is unprofessional.

 

The El Cajon Pawn Shops are not that much better.

 

Scrap Gold and Scrap Silver (the Silver which Pawn Shops would not buy 15 years ago) is drying up.

 

Barona, Viejas, and Sycuan Indin Casinos in the East County are a much better wager than a Lottery Ticket and that is where the wealth has went.

 

The pictured location is 4 miles away from my residence.

Wed, 05/13/2015 - 18:40 | 6091138 G.O.O.D
G.O.O.D's picture

Perfect rack cosmetic shop. Special this week- Vitamin E creamy steaming facials.

Wed, 05/13/2015 - 15:52 | 6090526 7.62x54r
7.62x54r's picture

Build that stripmall of misery next to a trailer park that you also own. Trailer parks are like Waffle Houses with legchains in the booths. Once in, you can't afford to leave.

Cash in on the American Nightmare!

Wed, 05/13/2015 - 15:55 | 6090554 NoVa
NoVa's picture

Baltimore's finest Mall.

Come & hang out with your family & spend the day!  Located near the Baltimore Zoo (Zoo as in Animals; Animals as in four legged mammals - not the human kind)

http://www.mondawmin.com/

 

Wed, 05/13/2015 - 16:41 | 6090739 Ruffmuff
Ruffmuff's picture

Don't pick the on the waffle house. Where yo gonna get yo crack from? Sometimes a crack ho to boot.

"Eggs please, with some bacon and a side of ho, thanks"

Wed, 05/13/2015 - 17:53 | 6091003 SERReal1
SERReal1's picture

I am surprised that they did not list Random Riots under Events.

Wed, 05/13/2015 - 16:41 | 6090740 ZH Snob
ZH Snob's picture

your 1 stop shop and drop.

Wed, 05/13/2015 - 15:47 | 6090493 order66
order66's picture

I heard Government Handouts is taking one of those vacancies.

Wed, 05/13/2015 - 15:47 | 6090496 Counterpunch
Counterpunch's picture

Empires are at their most dangerous during the decline.

Particularly when hijacked by a hostile elite minority.

Wed, 05/13/2015 - 15:52 | 6090535 XitSam
XitSam's picture

Zionists?

Wed, 05/13/2015 - 15:48 | 6090498 KnuckleDragger-X
KnuckleDragger-X's picture

One stop shopping.....

Wed, 05/13/2015 - 15:49 | 6090507 101 years and c...
101 years and counting's picture

only 2 vacancies?  this city must be doing really well compared to the rest of the country.

Wed, 05/13/2015 - 16:44 | 6090750 Ruffmuff
Ruffmuff's picture

Perfect spot for a tatoo parlor.   

Forget the lease paper, I'll ink it into your arm, right next to "Mom".

Wed, 05/13/2015 - 19:28 | 6091303 Tall Tom
Tall Tom's picture

The tattto parlor is one strip mall away from my apartment...in Lakeside.

Wed, 05/13/2015 - 15:49 | 6090511 firewolfsblog
firewolfsblog's picture

Where's my sweet and sour chicken?

Wed, 05/13/2015 - 15:54 | 6090547 boattrash
boattrash's picture

Your sweet & sour cat, can be purchased next door to the Humane Society.

Wed, 05/13/2015 - 15:58 | 6090568 7.62x54r
7.62x54r's picture

The dog noodle soup is better.

Wed, 05/13/2015 - 16:47 | 6090766 Ruffmuff
Ruffmuff's picture

Laugh my ass off.  Great idea , a high kill cat shelter next to the chinese restaurant. Fucking brilliant.

At least it should be fresh.....

Wed, 05/13/2015 - 15:49 | 6090514 Byte Me
Byte Me's picture

Should the "space available" also have a 'by the hour' option for completeness?

Wed, 05/13/2015 - 15:50 | 6090518 slotmouth
slotmouth's picture

If only they provided the area code, would be interested in opening a payday loan store.

Wed, 05/13/2015 - 15:54 | 6090537 semperfi
semperfi's picture

add:

strip joint
urgent care (for the day after)

Wed, 05/13/2015 - 15:50 | 6090521 seek
seek's picture

Looks like a good time (and its aftermath) to me!

Wed, 05/13/2015 - 15:51 | 6090529 lasvegaspersona
lasvegaspersona's picture

No tat' parlor??? Must be in Canada.

Wed, 05/13/2015 - 16:12 | 6090640 Emergency Ward
Emergency Ward's picture

Ha ha.  A tattoo parlor seems a little too upscale for that strip mall.

Wed, 05/13/2015 - 15:52 | 6090531 DriveByLurker
DriveByLurker's picture

Is it wrong that I want to retire there?

Wed, 05/13/2015 - 15:59 | 6090574 TeethVillage88s
TeethVillage88s's picture

Hell no. Malls of American Built one like 23 years ago that had Apartments Right there too. And a free standing Club with all the Shots and Cow Tanks full of Ice Cold Beers. I even saw a Travesvestite from Brazil or some place there one night.

But was too far from home to stay past happy hour.

I donno maybe I should try living in a city for a couple of years and see if I like it. Right downtown in an Apartment near some bars or even clubs. But then again I probably wouldn't learn anything about fixing a house, running a business or dealing with govt or banks.

Wed, 05/13/2015 - 15:52 | 6090532 Aknownymouse
Aknownymouse's picture

Hey. I book the "space available" to open a daycare.

Wed, 05/13/2015 - 16:22 | 6090676 WTFUD
WTFUD's picture

Daddy Long Gone Daycare

Wed, 05/13/2015 - 16:32 | 6090707 semperfi
semperfi's picture

BabyMama Daycare

Wed, 05/13/2015 - 16:46 | 6090761 One of these is...
One of these is not like the others..'s picture

"Both-parents-HAVE-to-work-to-pay-the-death-rate daycare".

 

Wed, 05/13/2015 - 15:53 | 6090544 FreeShitter
FreeShitter's picture

Shit that sign is in spanish where I live, bitchez....

Wed, 05/13/2015 - 16:33 | 6090690 Crocodile
Crocodile's picture

You are moral decay with, what appears to be, a third grade education.  You are American!

Wed, 05/13/2015 - 16:51 | 6090784 Ruffmuff
Ruffmuff's picture

Hey croc of shit, put that little dick back in your mouth and shut the fuck up.

Let's go fight club!!!!!

Wed, 05/13/2015 - 16:55 | 6090802 DutchBoy2015
DutchBoy2015's picture

You couldn't fight your way out of a wet paper bag, yank wanker.

Wed, 05/13/2015 - 17:26 | 6090934 Ruffmuff
Ruffmuff's picture

Coming from a "dutchboy" is that supposed to mean anything?  Really?

Wed, 05/13/2015 - 17:28 | 6090942 Major Malfunction
Major Malfunction's picture

Little "Dutch" boys like yerself ain't doin' so good, either.

Wed, 05/13/2015 - 17:29 | 6090943 Major Malfunction
Major Malfunction's picture

Doop.

Wed, 05/13/2015 - 15:54 | 6090545 heisenberg991
heisenberg991's picture

You get drunk at the liguor store and head to the gun range and kill somebody and then hit the faith store asking for forgiveness. Save time and save gas with one stop shopping.

Wed, 05/13/2015 - 16:07 | 6090613 Achilles Heel
Achilles Heel's picture

Sponsored by the ATF (Alcohol, Tobacco, & Firearms). Protecting Amerikans right to drink, light up, & go shootin'!

Wed, 05/13/2015 - 15:54 | 6090546 gatorengineer
gatorengineer's picture

where is the cash for gold store?  strip club?

Wed, 05/13/2015 - 15:56 | 6090562 Sudden Debt
Sudden Debt's picture

That’s where the old school used to be.

 

Wed, 05/13/2015 - 16:01 | 6090582 fightapathy
fightapathy's picture

There's NONE left. They all stole their mother's jewelry and silverware and cashed it. At least, that's why the local dealer told me business is bad lately.

 

Wed, 05/13/2015 - 19:41 | 6091321 Tall Tom
Tall Tom's picture

Nearest Strip Club is Lil' Darlings in La Mesa.

 

San Diego Sheriff Department just opened up a new Station in Lakeside.

 

LEA presence is thickand they are demoinstrating a new show of force.

 

Please arrest me. Please. I want to go to jail and teach them how to build flamethrowers.

 

Who needs a gun when a flamethrower will set a bank lobby ablaze?

 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VMmXninm7Ew

Wed, 05/13/2015 - 15:54 | 6090548 Sudden Debt
Sudden Debt's picture

AMERIKA AMERIKA.... tata ta tata... whatever....

 

I wonder how a man who woke up after being in a coma for a decade would look to Amerika now.

It’s just sliding to 3rd world status at lightspeed.

 

Wed, 05/13/2015 - 19:50 | 6091356 Ward cleaver
Ward cleaver's picture

A decade? How about 25 years. Interest rates at 6%, no FB to post pictures of your cat, No weekly riots by the locals in one city or another, no "knock out" game, no housewives flipping houses, no TBTF, etc etc

Wed, 05/13/2015 - 15:55 | 6090551 Dr. Engali
Dr. Engali's picture

No "massage" parlor?

Wed, 05/13/2015 - 15:57 | 6090564 LawsofPhysics
LawsofPhysics's picture

Beat me to it, what?  no "hookers and blow"?  Question; What happens when the providers of these very real services no longer accept bullshit paper?

Wed, 05/13/2015 - 16:00 | 6090581 boattrash
boattrash's picture

LoP, They're still there, you just have to look behind the building...

Wed, 05/13/2015 - 18:36 | 6091121 yellowsub
yellowsub's picture

I'm sure they're working around the parking lot...

Wed, 05/13/2015 - 15:55 | 6090557 Bell's 2 hearted
Bell&#039;s 2 hearted's picture

you don't scrape bottom till you see "Karate Studio"

Wed, 05/13/2015 - 16:03 | 6090597 boattrash
boattrash's picture

The "Karate Studio" is the vacancy...

The gun range put it out of business.

Wed, 05/13/2015 - 15:57 | 6090559 Frank N. Beans
Frank N. Beans's picture

I'm gonna get all liquored up, eat some Mexi, smoke sumptin, go shooting, rob the pizza place, get arrested, post bail, then pray.  Then I'm gonna get some sleep in those vacants. 

Wed, 05/13/2015 - 15:56 | 6090560 tony wilson and...
tony wilson and saturn zion devils's picture

eric estradas the place you come for the shits and the stinkin badges

Wed, 05/13/2015 - 17:56 | 6091007 Phil Free
Phil Free's picture

Badges? Badges? We don' need no stinkin' badges.

Wed, 05/13/2015 - 15:56 | 6090561 Dragon HAwk
Dragon HAwk's picture

What no Dollar Store.. there everywhere

Wed, 05/13/2015 - 17:33 | 6090956 Major Malfunction
Major Malfunction's picture

THEY are everywhere.

Communications Fail.

Wed, 05/13/2015 - 15:57 | 6090566 youngman
youngman's picture

Backin the 80s during the RTC crisis I had an arcitect do a small design on a shopping center ...it was called Vice Village...it was a bit hit at my companies meeting....we were not building anything anymore....but we all thought we could lease this up.....

Wed, 05/13/2015 - 16:09 | 6090631 Fun Facts
Fun Facts's picture

Idiocracy.

Wed, 05/13/2015 - 16:10 | 6090632 Barry Freed
Barry Freed's picture

where's the pawn shop?

Wed, 05/13/2015 - 16:36 | 6090692 semperfi
semperfi's picture

another good candidate

best so far:

pawn shop
dollar store
strip club
tat parlor
massage parlor
title/payday loans
check cashing

and how about:  discount DUI lawyer (monthly payments)

Wed, 05/13/2015 - 17:38 | 6090967 Anunnaki
Anunnaki's picture

Add a Smoke shop. Up until 5 years ago I would have included mom and pop video store that sold porn. Usually owned by a Pakistani family where the 16 year old daughter, in hijab, checking out your DVD of Chicks With Dicks

Wed, 05/13/2015 - 16:22 | 6090675 crisrose
crisrose's picture

Not 'America' - Americans.  And more proof how disgusting most are.

Wed, 05/13/2015 - 16:24 | 6090684 Bill of Rights
Bill of Rights's picture

Do they except EBT?

Wed, 05/13/2015 - 16:29 | 6090697 Crocodile
Crocodile's picture

Ahh the comments on this one; demonstrates the problem with America...moral rot to the very core.  Eat, Drink and be Merry for one day you will all die in your sin and that is far worse than your imagination could allow.

Wed, 05/13/2015 - 16:34 | 6090716 Bill of Rights
Bill of Rights's picture

The "Sin " is a global phenomenon, everyone bit the fruit and no one shall be left unscathed.

Wed, 05/13/2015 - 17:44 | 6090979 besnook
besnook's picture

so what if i come back as a quadraplegic orphan living in kolkata. bird in hand, baby. it's still 1999. sodom and gamorrah, just like high school sluts, have a very definitive and useful purpose.....in the end times.

Wed, 05/13/2015 - 16:29 | 6090698 Atomizer
Atomizer's picture

I didn't read the above posts. Sorry if I hit someone else's comment.

To fill the last two stripmall vacancies, instill a Muslim Mosque, and a CIA (ISIS) recruiting outlet. Investors will maintain 100% rental capacity. 

/sarc

Wed, 05/13/2015 - 16:48 | 6090756 DutchBoy2015
DutchBoy2015's picture

How about Liposuction clinic? They pay you 2 dollars a pound for your lard.   Booming business.

Wed, 05/13/2015 - 16:49 | 6090777 DutchBoy2015
DutchBoy2015's picture

How about a Chruch of Christ?   Best scam yet to fleece the braindead morons.

Wed, 05/13/2015 - 17:44 | 6090983 DutchBoy2015
DutchBoy2015's picture

I can tell by all the down votes that these people just refuse to see a HUGE scam.  Nationwide.

Wed, 05/13/2015 - 18:36 | 6091119 G.O.O.D
G.O.O.D's picture

They're MORMONS not morons.. oh wait..NM

Wed, 05/13/2015 - 16:42 | 6090744 H H Henry P P P...
H H Henry P P P Paulson's picture

"Space Available"

Obama's head.

Wed, 05/13/2015 - 17:42 | 6090975 Anunnaki
Anunnaki's picture

His well bunged colon is equally as spacious

Wed, 05/13/2015 - 17:43 | 6090976 Anunnaki
Anunnaki's picture

His well bunged colon is equally as spacious

Wed, 05/13/2015 - 17:45 | 6090986 silverer
silverer's picture

You could say that again!

Wed, 05/13/2015 - 16:49 | 6090780 Nephilim
Nephilim's picture

Best Call Saul

Wed, 05/13/2015 - 16:51 | 6090783 DutchBoy2015
DutchBoy2015's picture

How about a spa?  Steam and Cream.  good cover for hookers.

Wed, 05/13/2015 - 16:51 | 6090787 Panic Mode
Panic Mode's picture

Where are the strip club and marijuana shop?

Wed, 05/13/2015 - 16:54 | 6090801 localizer
localizer's picture

haha, that's a good one! but sums it all up really well indeed...

Wed, 05/13/2015 - 16:59 | 6090821 DutchBoy2015
DutchBoy2015's picture

How about a Crematorium?  With genuine plastic urns.  Oven solar powered.

Wed, 05/13/2015 - 17:02 | 6090834 Fahque Imuhnutjahb
Fahque Imuhnutjahb's picture

Space availabe!?!   What's the area cde?!  I've been wanting to expand my tattoo & piercing franchise!

Wed, 05/13/2015 - 17:04 | 6090842 DutchBoy2015
DutchBoy2015's picture

Specializing in Clit piercing?

Wed, 05/13/2015 - 17:07 | 6090852 DutchBoy2015
DutchBoy2015's picture

How about 'Donate Plasma and pay off Student loan'

Wed, 05/13/2015 - 17:11 | 6090869 DutchBoy2015
DutchBoy2015's picture

Joes' Heritage Seed/Sperm Bank??

Wed, 05/13/2015 - 17:11 | 6090871 taketheredpill
taketheredpill's picture

 

 

Imagine if a Tornado was coming and police asked everybody to leave the mall and gather at the high school auditorium next door.  Such wonderful conversations.

"I ran ameth lab in my mom's garage" "this is my personal favorite, the 357 magnum"  "mama mia thats a onea bigga gun"  "Jesus loves you" "Que?"

 

Wed, 05/13/2015 - 17:14 | 6090878 matagorda
matagorda's picture

What? No "game room"?  These are slot operations that use the "sweepatakes" law -- payouts are known in advance, but patrons dont't care -- they sit mindlessly in front of slots all day and the proprietor makes money on the junk foos they consume.  Perfect fit for the no job, no responsibility economy.  For example, http://www.statesman.com/news/news/state-regional/game-rooms-legal-or-no...

Wed, 05/13/2015 - 17:17 | 6090892 kenny500c
kenny500c's picture

No check-cashing or pay-day loans?  This must be the upscale shopping emporium.

Wed, 05/13/2015 - 17:37 | 6090964 bunnyswanson
bunnyswanson's picture

Add to that massage parlor, lingerie/sex toy store and pawn shop. 

Wed, 05/13/2015 - 17:20 | 6090905 DutchBoy2015
DutchBoy2015's picture

Payday Loans  --Lowest in town  Only 4000% APR compounded hourly

Proprietor - Ehud Fartstein.

Wed, 05/13/2015 - 17:25 | 6090933 DutchBoy2015
DutchBoy2015's picture

Located next to the Crematorium in case of non payment.

Wed, 05/13/2015 - 17:40 | 6090972 Anunnaki
Anunnaki's picture

Atypical strip mall where there are more businesses than empty storefronts

Wed, 05/13/2015 - 17:45 | 6090985 Charming Anarchist
Charming Anarchist's picture

If that is all people need to BUY, then it sounds like paradise on earth.  I just need to find a woman who agrees. 

Wed, 05/13/2015 - 17:47 | 6090989 silverer
silverer's picture

Yep.  Covers a big part of the bell curve, doesn't it?  And it's good some space is available.  One for hope, the other for the latest scam.

Wed, 05/13/2015 - 17:52 | 6090993 Kprime
Kprime's picture

The "Space Available" franchise is the most popular and fastest growing franchise in America today.  They are popping up all over America in malls, strip malls, office complexes and industrial parks.  They are appearing in record numbers thanks to the unending efforts of obmany.  He says "if you like your space you can keep your space, only now it's My Space".

 

In many cases the "Space Available" franchisees are locating right next to each other.  I have even seen strip malls with one or two other American franchises and as many as a dozen "Space Available" franchisees.  They have nearly taken over the entire mall.  I wish I had purchased stock in the company when they first went public.  I too could have been a "Space Available" millionaire.  I might even have owned my very own "Space Available" mall.

 

P.S. that mall could really use a Food Stamp office.  Standing in front of that sign you can smell a dying McDonalds close by.

 

Wed, 05/13/2015 - 18:03 | 6091015 Hubbs
Hubbs's picture

New growth industry: sign makers

 

House for Sale

Vacancy

Going out of Business Sale

Space Available

 

Wed, 05/13/2015 - 17:50 | 6090998 besnook
besnook's picture

obviously a white trash neighborhood. no mexican in his right mind would open a taco shop in the ghetto, same with jonjon(southern now? real true american white trailer trash, like country western music, an american icon).

 

there should be a unirag word for all the lowlifes in the world, you know, for the sake of diversity and inclusion.

Wed, 05/13/2015 - 18:29 | 6091089 DutchBoy2015
DutchBoy2015's picture

American likes to think they are civilized.   LOL.  They are clueless about a REAL civilized nation. And most will never have the money to go visit one.

There is an old saying,  ''If you stay in the shithouse long enough , you no longer smell the stench''

This old adage perfectly describes many Americans.

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