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Chuck Norris Warns Washington On Jade Helm: "Don't Mess With Texas"

Tyler Durden's picture




 

Earlier this month, Lone Star state residents breathed a heavy sigh of relief after Chuck Norris promised that in the event a US Spec Ops training exercise inexplicably morphs into a second (and thereby completely redundant) annexation of Texas, Walker Texas Ranger will personally defend the state against a Navy SEAL incursion. 

As a reminder, the government is set to conduct a series of training exercises in several Western states including Texas beginning on July 15. The operation, dubbed “Jade Helm 15”, has sparked quite a spirited debate, especially among Texans, some of whom believe the drills are a prelude to martial law. Suspicions have by no means been confined to conspiracy theorists with the Governor himself calling on the Texas Guard to monitor the operation, a move which at least one former Texas Republican lawmaker has called “embarrassing.” Indeed, even former Governor Rick Perry has now weighed in, noting that even though he questions the government “on a regular basis”, a Texas invasion likely isn’t in the cards: 

“I think it’s OK to question your government — I do it on a pretty regular basis. The military's something else. You know, I think our military is quite trustworthy. Civilian leadership – you can always question that, but not the men and women in uniform.”

Nevertheless, some Texans still aren’t buying it including Chuck Norris who, while conceding that Washington may not be planning an imminent Texas invasion, still contends that the government is likely up to something: 

Here’s Norris, with more:

Speaking of government overreach and security, I must clarify a note regarding my column on Jade Helm 15 a few weeks ago, which went viral and was misquoted by some in the mainstream media. I never ever said that that seven-state U.S. military operation intended to take over Texas, as some implied like ABC News, which reported, “Even actor Chuck Norris jumping in the fray.” However, I did in fact mention that Jade Helm 15 is likely more than a military exercise. I do believe, in addition to the largest domestic military training, it is also a display of power (near the southern border) intended for deterrence of enemies like ISIS and other terrorists, who the FBI have already said are present in all 50 states.

 

Finally, let me also reiterate on this Memorial Day weekend something most Americans already know about me: I am a patriot in every sense of the term and a staunch super-supporter of those who serve our country in all four branches of our U.S. military. My comments about Jade Helm 15 are directed at its Washington leaders, not our courageous men and women in uniform.

That’s all fair enough, but we would note that “misquoting” someone who writes a blog post is quite difficult and can only occur in the event of a copy and paste error which we’re quite sure we did not make when we quoted Norris as saying the following earlier this month:

I’m glad Texas Sen. Ted Cruz is asking the tough questions of the Pentagon about Jade Helm 15, particularly because its “exercises” come too near to my ranch’s backdoor as well, at least according to the map. It’s pretty sad and bad when major military ops are ordered in a large, fiery state like Texas and not even the governor or its senators know the specifics.

 

It’s neither over-reactionary nor conspiratorial to call into question or ask for transparency about Jade Helm 15 or any other government activity. To those who merely think we should check our brains at the door of the White House and trust what the government does, I would reiterate to you the words of one of our government’s primary founders, Benjamin Franklin, who said, “Distrust and caution are the parents of security.” Again, he also said, “Security without liberty is called prison.” But then again, I’m sure some today would accuse Franklin of being conspiratorial, too!

Then again, if there's anyone who can legitimately claim to have been misquoted on something he himself wrote it's Chuck Norris, and in the end it doesn't matter because the overall message is the same: "Don't mess with Texas."

And I will reiterate again that the White House and the Pentagon could have easily avoided any controversy about Jade Helm 15 if its primary Washington leaders would have called for a confidential informative meeting with the respected governors of the seven states in which it is being held this summer. They also would have been very wise not to place on Jade Helm’s official operation map that Texas and Utah were “hostile states.” When will they learn? Don’t mess with Texas!

 

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Tue, 05/26/2015 - 15:32 | 6133353 Pheonyte
Pheonyte's picture

What a fucking freak show this country has become.

Tue, 05/26/2015 - 15:35 | 6133368 Ruffmuff
Ruffmuff's picture

The best one you can show on TVIE

Tue, 05/26/2015 - 15:45 | 6133424 pods
pods's picture

Where the hell are you from anyways private?

Sir, Texas, sir!

Tue, 05/26/2015 - 15:49 | 6133434 Clueless Economist
Clueless Economist's picture

Steers n Queers

Tue, 05/26/2015 - 15:53 | 6133451 Bill of Rights
Bill of Rights's picture

He said Texas not DC...

Tue, 05/26/2015 - 15:56 | 6133465 greenskeeper carl
greenskeeper carl's picture

NOTHING is going to come of this jade helm shit. How do I know that, you ask? Because they are TALKING about it non stop, including on TV. If what people fear about jade helm ever actually happens, it will not be discussed, publicized, etc.

Tue, 05/26/2015 - 16:01 | 6133483 ParkAveFlasher
ParkAveFlasher's picture

Can we give up the pretense of intelligent conversation regarding anything Chuck Norris?  I mean, really.  The Security Sate is discussed ad infinitum here, it is resolved that you are a slave until freed. 

Tue, 05/26/2015 - 16:10 | 6133517 Ruffmuff
Ruffmuff's picture

THe jade helm shit is to make us used to domination. They publicize the shit out if it to make your heart warm and fuzzy inside.

Tue, 05/26/2015 - 16:15 | 6133550 Urban Roman
Urban Roman's picture

Chuck Norris is so funny he doesn't need Chuck Norris jokes..

Tue, 05/26/2015 - 16:16 | 6133556 InjectTheVenom
InjectTheVenom's picture

the only time Chuck Norris feels goosebumps is when he's petting a goose ....

Tue, 05/26/2015 - 18:09 | 6133932 winchester
winchester's picture

nop, 100% here  are wrong, jade helm, is a decoy, it makes usa paranoid about federal law n' martial stuff etc ...  no more....

 

... while they still mess up in large scales world wide, and nobody understand it.

 

an american scared about his own freedom at homeland is not an american  messing with external politics opinions... in another words  suck military dicks about texas shithole while  D.C still  mistarget isis/daesh/friend n' co with bombing mission and throw  cargo of stuff to help to hijack last fucking rempart to barbary in europ 's door : sirya....

 

we are fucked, this method is used since 1979 to afganistan for russia, this has not a single exit door, we cannot extinguish the flame.

final step is self nuke on USA to  unleash ultimate blast as revange on mid east to make what usa wanted  for so long... a global serfdom.

just like they did in 9-11 for the 1 step.

 

 

nobody on earth outside usa will be let to mess with D.C and politics about military worldwide, it must be internal revolution, if americans do not get weapons against their own country,  then no one will not be able to tell your own  grandchilds what happened in past because we all gonna be dead  within decades because of this mentall illness of wanting to dominate every nations.

 

Tue, 05/26/2015 - 20:21 | 6134378 BringOnTheAsteroid
BringOnTheAsteroid's picture

When a person falls into water they get wet.

When Chuck Norris falls into water the water gets Chuck Norrisey 

Tue, 05/26/2015 - 20:23 | 6134386 BringOnTheAsteroid
BringOnTheAsteroid's picture

Jesus could walk on water. so what, Chuck Norris could swim on land.

Tue, 05/26/2015 - 16:26 | 6133582 junction
junction's picture

Jade Helm could be happening now and there would be no news of it in the New York Times.  "Jewish lightning" demolishes World Trade Center 7 and still no investigation of that implosion.  Waco police machine gun a bunch of rowdy bikers and the attitude of the nightly network news shows is that the bikers had it coming, even those shot by underover snipers in police uniforms.  A Jade Helm trial run. 

Tue, 05/26/2015 - 17:13 | 6133764 XitSam
XitSam's picture

There's no steers in DC, just ....

Tue, 05/26/2015 - 17:54 | 6133811 Paveway IV
Paveway IV's picture

I wish there was a rational discussion somewhere about what JADE HELM is actually about, rather than what it *might* be about.

JADE HELM is a direct result of our failures in Afghanistan and Iraq - in most cases, the locals wouldn't help the U.S. forces and treated them like an arrogant, oppressive occupying army (and not without plenty of reason). The U.S. can no longer field regular Army troops effectively in any Middle East battle. Desertion rates were only up to 1 or 2% but climbing fast by 2007. The soldiers knew the ultimate futility of the wars there and were becoming increasingly unwilling to die for nothing.

The Army couldn't have 5% desertion rates like they did in Viet Nam in the late 1960's, so they just removed as many army troops from the Afghanistan and Iraqi battlefields as possible. Warfare was conducted with a siege mentality - American soldiers mostly locked up in large, isolated bases and only venturing out by air or in heavily-armored columns. Even then, entire units like the 343rd Quartermaster Company just refused to follow orders for idiotic, suicide-like missions when they were ordered to do something 'outside'. 

The exceptions were marines, rangers and SF guys who always have to mix it up face-to-face with the locals all the time. When you do that in populations of people that pretty much hate you and resent your presence, you have a hard time gathering intelligence or being effective at all. In fact, the locals are more likely to help the enemy kill you because they hate your fucking guts. THAT is what JADE HELM is all about - 'fixing' that (and why the very idea is absolutely preposterous).

An unpleasant side effect of being deployed where you're not wanted and cause more harm that good (regardless of your intentions) is that after months of operating in that environment, a lot of American troops become increasingly psychopahtic - detesting the locals and treating them like sub-humans for NOT supporting them. "We're here to help you fuckers!" Pretty soon the boy-next-door U.S. soldier is raping 14-year-old girls in front of their mothers, lighting up a house full of unarmed dirt farmers, or fragging a basement of restrained prisoners because... well, fuck 'em - they're probably all terrorists anyway. JADE HELM is NOT meant to address that. Turning soldiers into psychopaths is never addressed and still just considered collateral damage. Censorship and controlled, embedded media are the only things the military has come up with to throw at that. Besides, where is Xe going to recruite their future serial killers if the military stops churning out fresh, new psychopaths? It's not like normal guys would want to work for them.

Now the absolute idiocy of JADE HELM is that the U.S. forces need to be sensitive to the feelings of the local populations and try to gain their cooperation (or at least not have them tell the enemy where you are so they can kill you). The reason that this very idea is so FUCKING STUPID is because it's like Israeli soldiers having an exercise to try to gain the cooperation of Palestinians. Hint: It's not for lack of interpersonal skills on the IDF's part - the Palestinians REALLY DO hate Israel and Israeli soldiers and want them to die. You cannot show up with overwhelming military force among a population you're trying to control that absolutely hates you and somehow convince them to trust you and cooperate 'becaue you're there to help them'. You're not the good guys to them no matter what CNN told you - you're just another enemy even if you're fighting their existing enemy. 

The treasonous U.S. politicians and military leaders are absolute imbeciles - they just don't get that. No Afghani or Iraqi citizens care what the fuck the U.S. (or Bush or Cheney or Powell) thought they were doing in those countries. They didn't care and wanted U.S. soldiers to leave. Nobody ever had a vote in Afghanistan or Iraq if the U.S. should invade or how long they should stay. It was always America dictating to the people there. The U.S. military was imposed on them and they hated it. The average Afghani and Iraqi hate the U.S. and hate the presence of U.S. troops. Sure CNN can always find a few 'grateful' locals, but anyone with an I.Q. over 40 can see how great life is for the average Afghani or Iraqi today. At best, the locals see U.S. troops as undesirable necessity after the U.S. already showed up, destabilized and destroyed the place and THEN stirred up the hornet's nest of terrorists/counter-insurgents/whatever.

Old-timers will recognize JADE HELM training as a warmed-over, re-treaded version of the Viet Nam 'Hearts and Minds' campaigns. An unmitigated disaster and an absolute failure in every respect that is the height of stupidity to resurrect.  When you show up and destroy a country and make everyone's lives miserable in a futile attempt to bring them liberty and democracy, they will hate your fucking guts - 100% guaranteed.

SF soldiers do not NEED Mossad-inspired PR skills - they need to NOT EVER BE DEPLOYED to a place where they're despised and seen as an enemy. Screw JADE HELM - how about getting rid of some of the mouth-breathing, missing-chromosome crowd of psychopaths in the Department of Defense that SEND our troops to these places? How about wood-chippering a few of the dual-citizen traitors in congress that cook up these ideas?

Guess what - when we send ground troops into Iran to clean up Israel's mess, the Iranian citizens will 100% guaranteed absolutely fucking hate U.S. troops. There will be no 'gaining of trust' or cooperation. There will be plenty of morally-tortured SF vets (with or without limbs), plenty of raped 14-year-old Iranian girls, plenty of executed unarmed dirt farmers and mountains and mountains of dead Iranians in unmarked graves.

I can see Anderson Cooper with a pleading look in his eyes asking the camera rhetorically, "Wasn't JADE HELM suppose to prevent this kind of thing?" No, Anderson. Fuck no. In fact, JADE HELM ensured this would happen.

Tue, 05/26/2015 - 17:55 | 6133904 btdt
btdt's picture

"...

Old-timers will recognize JADE HELM training as a warmed-over, re-treaded version of the Viet Nam 'Hearts and Minds' campaign. An unmitigated disaster and an absolute failure in every respect that is the height of stupidity to resurrect.  When you show up and destroy a country and make everyone's lives miserable in a futile attempt to bring them liberty and democracy, they will hate your fucking guts - 100% guaranteed.

..."

Hearts and Minds is one thing, Phoenix Program, not so good.

Got a bad feeling, some of the PP characters are still around.

Got a bad feeling that some of the younger SF guys haven't browsed the PPers' portfolio but they have read the bible by David Gulala.

this ain't no disco.

Tue, 05/26/2015 - 18:07 | 6133939 greenskeeper carl
greenskeeper carl's picture

Great post, could almost be it's own article. I can see the possibility of them practicing their hearts and minds skills on the natives of Texas. Dispute their 'don't mess with Texas BS' and their complaints about this being down in their state to begin with(entirely legit complaints, I agree), you will not find a more mindlessly patriotic, military worshiping, USA!USA! citizenry than you will in Texas. Despite the complaining, they still 'support the troops'. Most don't realize that if what they fear comes to pass, it's not going to be Obama or Clinton putting a gun in their face, it's gonna be one of those troops they love to support.

I just don't see what rational reason they need to do all this stuff in civilian areas in the first place. The federal govt already owns half the land in the southwest anyway. Why can't they play their little cowboys and hajjis game there? They have to WANT interactions with civilians.

Tue, 05/26/2015 - 19:52 | 6134257 Paveway IV
Paveway IV's picture

"...I just don't see what rational reason they need to do all this stuff in civilian areas in the first place..."

Because it's geared toward training the SF for covert domestic civilian operations, not domestic military operations. Whomever is encouraging the whole building of a NORTHCOM Waffen SS needs exercises like JADE HELM to prepare them. The SF guys are trained as soldiers. They need to get trained up on the kind of craft used by CIA/FBI field operatives to be an effective as an SS. It goes something like this:

Civilian controlled law enforcement: DHS Stazi for protecting the government, enforcing federal law and running internment camps. 

Military controlled SF-type soldiers: NORTHCOM Waffen SS for domestic intel, domestic covert activities and for preparing domestic kill lists of 'threats' (all you ZHers are on the first page). 

Most other fascist countries have consolidated both functions under some form of an interior ministry. I'm sure post-constitutional U.S. will be organized somewhat along the same lines.

Tue, 05/26/2015 - 22:05 | 6134616 BringOnTheAsteroid
BringOnTheAsteroid's picture

Chuck Norris gushing praises for "our brave, brave soldiers".

Fucking moron. 

Your brave soldiers are murderers you dick head. Since when have these fuckers stood on Amrican soil and "defended" the country? The US military has morphed from "defending the country" to "defending American interests" which is code for "defending American oil" which is code for "we will take whatever we want you mother fuckers because we have the biggest military".

Anyone defending these brave soldiers is as evil as the soldiers themselves.

Any vetereran out there reading this post, tell me why you join the armed forces of THE most evil fucking empire since Ghengis Khan? Why did you join? Is it just because you've a bit of an uneducated moron? Come on, be brutally honest here.

WHY DO MEN JOIN ARMIES. I get it if your country is being physically invaded because then you have no choice. When you have as prosperous and safe a country as the US has been over the last few decades AND MEN STILL JOIN THE ARMY then it boils down to pure fucking evil. Can you veterans swallow that harsh reality, that you are evil fucking cunts with the blood of thousands if not millions of inncocent children on your hands? How many of you people call yourself christians?

You've been played you stupid morons. You've been brain washed into thinking the military is a good thing, a moral thing, a patriotic thing. You'll down arrow this post because the brain washing runs deep and can't be undone. You are convinced that what you are doing is right. How TPTB must be laughing every day at you morons for risking your life for their financial gain. Humans are so easy to program from birth. So easy it's sickening. The US army has chaplains, can you believe this fucking shit. A US soldier can blow the skull of a child clean off it's shoulders and they have an army chaplain from whom they seek counselling. Is anyone sane in this world anymore. 

The human species is despicable beyond words.

 

 

Tue, 05/26/2015 - 22:55 | 6134749 Paveway IV
Paveway IV's picture

"...Anyone defending these brave soldiers is as evil as the soldiers themselves..."

That would be me. Guilty on both counts.

"...Any vetereran out there reading this post, tell me why you join the armed forces of THE most evil fucking empire since Ghengis Khan?..."

You are obviously incapable of comprehending the very idea of noble and honorable motives in an 18-year-old American kid decades ago. ANY explanation vs. you armchair morality judgement would be a fucking waste of my time. I wanted to kill babies and eat their still-beating hearts in front of their mothers. Happy, bitch?

"...Is it just because you've a bit of an uneducated moron? Come on, be brutally honest here..."

Brutally? Holy hell, I was the product of post-war public education and couldn't afford college. "Uneducated moron?" Fucking guilty on that count, too. Am I suppose to feel bad about that or are you saying that's what made me evil?

"...Can you veterans swallow that harsh reality, that you are evil fucking cunts with the blood of thousands if not millions of inncocent children on your hands?..."

Having served in a military that may have done 'evil' or at least questionable deeds with a lifetime of second-guessing, moral ambivalence and/or remorse goes with the turf - no vet is looking for you sympathy or understanding. None of us were blind but none of us knew NOW what we knew then. It wasn't a fucking multiple-choice pop quiz - there were no do-overs. The best guidance we had was that we owed what we had in the U.S. to a half a million evil baby-killing U.S. soldiers (and 12 million or so Russian soldiers) that died before us in WWII. It seemed like a noble and honorable sacrifice - the notion of which must surely make you laugh your ass off at our naivety and stupidity. Glad we could bring a little joy to your dismal world.

"...You've been played you stupid morons..."

Kinda yes and kinda no. You couldn't begin to understand - stick with the cartoonish evil version of us or your head will explode.

"...You've been brain washed into thinking the military is a good thing, a moral thing, a patriotic thing..."

At the time, yes. Today... it depends. A military for a psychopathic, immoral government of oligarchs is never a good thing. Fighting for the rights of oppressed people is never wrong - military or not. Back then I had trouble traveling decades into the future to chat it up with my future-self - how stupid is that? Shame on me.

"...You'll down arrow this post because the brain washing runs deep and can't be undone..."

Well, I never down-arrow anyone courteous enough to post their thoughts. But I'll down-arrow you in spirit for being an asshole (no offense).

"...You are convinced that what you are doing is right..."

What? Do you mean 'being a vet' or mentally down-arrowing you for being an asshole? I guess 'yes' either way.

"...Humans are so easy to program from birth. So easy it's sickening..."

Don't you just hate fucking humans! Kill them... KILL THEM ALL!!

"...The human species is despicable beyond words..."

And incredibly beautiful beyond words. Both at the same time. You forgot that part.

Wed, 05/27/2015 - 03:56 | 6135240 BringOnTheAsteroid
BringOnTheAsteroid's picture

Well, I appreciate your honesty. You still haven't elicited exactly why you volunteered to go and kill people. This is evil shit man. Maybe you don't really care, I don't know. Maybe many of us we are incapable of giving a flying fuck. Maybe there's a bit of psychopath in us all. The best I can glean from your reply is that you didn't really think, that you are actually a bit of a dumb cunt (hey no offense, we're all dumb cunts).

Fuck me though, I couldn't live myself if it finally came to my attention that I had been so royally fucked over by my own government. Christ, how do you restrain yourself from hunting down every last congressman and woman from the last 50 fucking years and hunting down every last CEO and executive from the MIC. 

I know, I guess you just don't give a fuck. You owe the world buddy, you owe all the torn apart bodies of all the US military action since the cessation of WWII. You can at least start to repay that debt by denouncing your military and encouraging every last man and women to get the fuck out. This shit has to stop and every last US soldier needs to be charged with war crimes. That's you I'm afraid but your punishment would pale into insignificance to the absolute horror you have collectively dished out on the world.

Tue, 05/26/2015 - 19:05 | 6134144 Drummond
Drummond's picture

Superb post Paveway.

Thu, 05/28/2015 - 11:17 | 6140032 madwool
madwool's picture

A coherent, well written, matrix-shattering rant. Good job.

Tue, 05/26/2015 - 15:36 | 6133374 Clueless Economist
Clueless Economist's picture

I was always amazed how Walker would destroy about 20 Outlaw Bikers in a fight.  What I was amazed about was how the bikers would rush him one by one.

Tue, 05/26/2015 - 15:43 | 6133415 ParkAveFlasher
ParkAveFlasher's picture

Bikers don't work together, not like Chuck Norris works together. 

Tue, 05/26/2015 - 17:14 | 6133765 XitSam
XitSam's picture

He learned it from Bruce Lee.

Tue, 05/26/2015 - 15:38 | 6133389 gaoptimize
gaoptimize's picture

Who is the freak?  Chuck Norris or the security apparatus that is increasingly putting our liberty at risk?  Interpretation of events is context-driven.  I'm sure Chuck Norris is well aware of the current context when looking at Jade Helm.

Tue, 05/26/2015 - 15:59 | 6133435 Kirk2NCC1701
Kirk2NCC1701's picture

Especially when old actors start believing they are the persona/mascot they were able to portray (with appropriate Makeup, Costumes, Cuts, Retakes, Editing, FX, etc).

I'll take him seriously when he gets in front of the bunch of "Free Texans", guns drawn, and "Walks the Talk".

TEXAS WALKER or TEXAS TALKER?  [tick, tock]

Tue, 05/26/2015 - 16:12 | 6133531 Ruffmuff
Ruffmuff's picture

Then you need a thrillseeker Kennedy for that job.  Norris is not a fool, but has cash and is bitching towards the top of a big pile of steaming shit.

Tue, 05/26/2015 - 16:14 | 6133540 Utah_Get_Me_2
Utah_Get_Me_2's picture

You are aware Chuck Norris is a veteran right? Also a full contact martial arts champion several times over right? Of course you don't dipshit. Basic internet search engines clearly elude you.   

Tue, 05/26/2015 - 15:50 | 6133438 raywolf
raywolf's picture

Chuck Norris is a false flag..... he's obviously in on it....

Tue, 05/26/2015 - 15:50 | 6133441 Clowns on Acid
Clowns on Acid's picture

Not enough Chuck Norris' and too many Bil Clintons.  

Tue, 05/26/2015 - 15:55 | 6133448 Bill of Rights
Bill of Rights's picture

Its a necessary distraction for the coming Great crash and the ( Manufactured ) dollar destruction. 9-11 happened right around the time people were starting to ask questions about what happened to the $2+ trillion dollars missing from the Pentagon ( I know coincidence ) now you hear of nothing about it because many other distractions have been put in place, So its gone to the ( conspiracy ) heavens, That and most Americans are more worried about a job, paying bills, food, money raising their kids...so the thieves get away with this shit...

Tue, 05/26/2015 - 17:00 | 6133717 Bay of Pigs
Bay of Pigs's picture

Good point. I wouldn't be surprised at all if we see Jade Helm go live after a false flag ISIS attack on US soil sometime this summer/fall.

Tue, 05/26/2015 - 16:03 | 6133495 Ago Solvo
Ago Solvo's picture

I would like to point this out, I'm going to post this again, but he's completely right.  I think you all have your heads in the sand.  This is why.  I was a Reservist in Brooklyn NY, in the Marine Corps.  In 2002 we received a briefing by a Marine (Reservist) who was a detective I believe in the NYPD.  He told us there was a white supremacist group in Texas, with over 100,000 members.  That the head of this group was a former Green Beret, and that these people were going to take over the country, and ethnically cleanse it.  Realize this class was given to our whole Battalion, which at the time was something like 600+ Marines, and I have plenty of friends I still talk to in my platoon that remember this.  He said that we were going to have to go down and fight them, that this was coming soon to prepare for it.  Problem is, no one cared.  NYC, and our unit, is far more racist than any place I've ever been in the country, and far more corrupt.  Everyone's response was so what?  Who cares.  Are they coming here?  Once they're here then come get us.  Whatever the fuck Jade Helm is, this has been a long time in the making.

Tue, 05/26/2015 - 17:17 | 6133770 Herd Redirectio...
Herd Redirection Committee's picture

Proud (white) American = White Supremacist (???)

Tue, 05/26/2015 - 16:48 | 6133664 JRobby
JRobby's picture

a fuck clown show

Tue, 05/26/2015 - 15:34 | 6133364 Rainman
Rainman's picture

Just because you're paranoid doesn't mean they're not out to get you.

Tue, 05/26/2015 - 15:36 | 6133380 Ruffmuff
Ruffmuff's picture

It is not about being paranoid but accepting being re-engineered.  Slight difference.

Tue, 05/26/2015 - 15:34 | 6133365 i_call_you_my_base
i_call_you_my_base's picture

"it is also a display of power (near the southern border) intended for deterrence of enemies like ISIS and other terrorists, who the FBI have already said are present in all 50 states."

Sorry, Chuck just ain't that bright.

Tue, 05/26/2015 - 15:39 | 6133398 ParkAveFlasher
ParkAveFlasher's picture

The facts may speak for themselves, but nobody speaks for Chuck Norris. 

Tue, 05/26/2015 - 15:34 | 6133367 wendigo
wendigo's picture

Fucking Chuck Norris. 

That said, I am 100% sure that US soldiers will fire on civilians if ordered to do so. 

Tue, 05/26/2015 - 15:43 | 6133416 Uber Vandal
Uber Vandal's picture

Refer to Bonus Army during the prior Depression.

http://www.worldwar1.com/dbc/bonusm.htm

 

Tue, 05/26/2015 - 15:48 | 6133429 rickybobby1hundo
rickybobby1hundo's picture

Your opinion* is that some* US soldiers would fire on civilians if ordered to do so.

 

Please share more of your non-specific general predicting of the future so we can all be in the loop? 

Tue, 05/26/2015 - 15:53 | 6133457 rickybobby1hundo
rickybobby1hundo's picture

I am 100% sure Wendingo is a douche.  

Tue, 05/26/2015 - 16:07 | 6133506 Ruffmuff
Ruffmuff's picture

Not so sure soldiers would shoot on us, but the cops show that "they can".

Tue, 05/26/2015 - 16:36 | 6133613 Calmyourself
Calmyourself's picture

BONUS ARMY - MacArthur-Patton heroes right..

Tue, 05/26/2015 - 15:57 | 6133468 wendigo
wendigo's picture

Let's assume for a minute that this Jade Helm thing is some big prelude to martial law, a coup, or whatever. It's all giant con, and eventually the government will declare open war against the citizens of the US.

 

Got that? I'm not saying it will or won't happen, but for the sake of argument let's say it will.

 

The armed forces will be sent to control key sectors of the country. They will be instructed that if they meet with any resistance, they are to destroy it.

 

And they will. Every. Single. Time.

 

We don't like to believe that. We like to think that the military are the good guys, that they'll disobey our orders and have our backs. They won't and they don't.

 

Since the dawn of time, governments have been taking otherwise decent young men and convincing them to commit horrible atrocities for no real reason. And it works. The art gets perfected a little more each time. Now, after millennia of development, it has reached it's peak.

 

Did the men of the US calvary really want to commit genocide, on an individual level? Probably not, but they wiped out the plains indians anyway. Did caesars soldiers really hate the Gauls, when you talked to each individual man? Same story. How about Stalin and his security forces? Or the Nazi armies? Or the US air force against the civilians of Japan? How about when we dumped chemical agents on half a country and killed countless innocent farmers?

 

None of these men were inherently evil, yet they sent millions to their grave. Never doubted their orders. Never asked why. Their superior said "kill these men, they are the enemy". Did anyone stop to ask if they were the enemy? Did anyone refuse to obey? Probably in a small percentage of cases they did, but the vast majority of them went on with the killing.

 

Do you really think the soldiers woke up one day and said "let's go murder some poor bastard who doesn't know what's going on?" Of course not. No one wants that. But when those orders come rolling through, those orders get followed. Even if the orders are to do something monstrously evil. Even if they wanted to disobey those orders, the machine of war drove them to obey. Millennia of conditioning falls into place, and the soldier is converted from an honest, decent man into a killer.

 

You may disagree. But most of history is the study of wars. In ALL wars, without exception, otherwise decent people were convinced they must destroy another group of people, for no other reason than that they were the "enemy".

Tue, 05/26/2015 - 16:21 | 6133570 DutchBoy2015
DutchBoy2015's picture

the first thing they do in the miltiary is try and break down your individualism. 

As you say, they will kill whoever they are ordered to kill and if they don't they know that they may be killed by their own comrades.

Tue, 05/26/2015 - 17:18 | 6133775 Herd Redirectio...
Herd Redirection Committee's picture

Soviet -style- place a machine gun behind the front line?  "No retreat, or else"

Tue, 05/26/2015 - 18:14 | 6133609 Steal Your Face
Steal Your Face's picture

"The armed forces will be sent to control key sectors of the country. They will be instructed that if they meet with any resistance, they are to destroy it. And they will. Every. Single. Time"

Yeah, they might try. But just like Afghanistan, and Iraq, and Vietnam, and every other place since the US won a war (When was that, exactly?), the locals are gonna have something to say about that.

The smart money is on the locals.

 

 

 


Tue, 05/26/2015 - 16:42 | 6133639 Utah_Get_Me_2
Utah_Get_Me_2's picture

You make several valid historical points. My only contention with your argument that the rank and file US Military will carry out open treason against the American people is the fact that they get treated like absolute garbage by the Federal government. From the VA deathlists, to the vaccines and compulsory drugging, to being sent on a half a dozen tours, to being placed at the very top of the list on DHS/FBI/Pentagon terror threat documents.. The rank and file will not obey unless their families are place in federal custody.. then all bets are off. The Special Forces units that don't have unit names or patches and aren't even acknowledged by the Pentagon will be carrying out the treason. They've been turned into killing machines with microchips in their brains.. not even human anymore.   

Tue, 05/26/2015 - 22:01 | 6134639 BringOnTheAsteroid
BringOnTheAsteroid's picture

"they get treated like absolute garbage by the Federal government".

Men who join armies of prosperous nations are pieces of shit and deserve what they get. They signed up for evil so have no right to cry like fucking women when they come home totally fucked up.

WHAT THE FUCK DO THESE MORONS EXPECT, JESUS FUCKING CHRIST. Have they not got a god damned brain in their head? What, do they think they are signing up for, a fucking knitting class and kissing babies. What do they expect, WHAT THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT?

FUUUUUCCCCCCKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKK humans are stupid.

The US deserves what is coming, sorely deserves it. I hope every soldier turns on their own and fucking shoots them. eliminate the evil once and fucking all. I hope they keep plenty of bullets for the elite who have built the MIC. The evil has to be destroyed once and for all.

Tue, 05/26/2015 - 17:13 | 6133763 rickybobby1hundo
rickybobby1hundo's picture

anything COULD happen,   you said 100% knew that it would.    You know what your History lesson lacks?  Drones. 

Tue, 05/26/2015 - 19:05 | 6134142 bilbo2016
bilbo2016's picture

Well, I dunno if this guy really has the sources he claims to have but his assessment about the potential for Civil War II predicts majority of US military will not fight for the .Gov but with patriots against martial law : http://www.dcclothesline.com/2015/05/26/history-in-the-making-the-sides-...

 

I rather hope he's right about the percentages, but if it comes to a kinetic action (say following an economic collapse) it's going to be a bloody awful mess here...

 

 

Tue, 05/26/2015 - 16:13 | 6133538 BorisTheBlade
BorisTheBlade's picture

... if paid to do so.

Tue, 05/26/2015 - 16:38 | 6133618 Calmyourself
Calmyourself's picture

When / if it happens pay will consist of "soldier YOUR family is safe" and three hots & cot want to keep it that way, kill....

Tue, 05/26/2015 - 17:21 | 6133783 Herd Redirectio...
Herd Redirection Committee's picture

So is this what the FEMA camps are for?  To house the families of SpecOps?

If so, I got two words for you, Boer War.  It was when the BRITISH INVENTED the concentration camp, to hold the women and children of the 'insurgent' Boers captive (and occasionally murder/let a few die from sickness/malnutrition).

Thats when the FedGov has YOU by the balls, marine.

Tue, 05/26/2015 - 16:18 | 6133557 johand inmywallet
johand inmywallet's picture

And in the event they do, I can assure you that return fire will then happen, and not just in the state the event takes place. 100,000+ troops couldn't control a bunch of cave dwelling towelheads, what do you think a few million pissed off former military folks would do to those who turn on our fellow countrymen.

I can tell you first hand that our SF folks do not want anything to do with harming mom and pop America, they actually would rather put their crosshairs on the phuckin politicains who are messing our country up.

And yes, I work at Bragg. 

Tue, 05/26/2015 - 16:20 | 6133565 johand inmywallet
johand inmywallet's picture

Asym warfare is a bitch!

Tue, 05/26/2015 - 16:39 | 6133624 El Vaquero
El Vaquero's picture

I have seen nothing to convince me that the military is not just as divided as the populace is.  IMO, civil war with the military being split would be the consequence of any large scale use of force against civilians.  Something on a smaller scale may happen, but outright trying to suppress a state the size of Texas would be a real SHTF.

Tue, 05/26/2015 - 17:22 | 6133788 Herd Redirectio...
Herd Redirection Committee's picture

Yep, the first split is obviously between active duty and retired, but even within active duty, there will be those who know who the enemies of America are.

Tue, 05/26/2015 - 17:31 | 6133819 XitSam
XitSam's picture

Do you think the SF folks, let alone ordinary officers/enlisted are going to be told the truth?  They will be given orders to secure or destroy a terrorist cell, as designated by the State Department's official terrorist organization list.  The group has been observed stockpiling weapons and ammunition. The FBI has obtained a FISA search warrant, and if they are denied access, you will proceed.  Support personnel will enforce a two-ring perimiter. Anyone crossing the perimiter line is to be detained. If you or other soldiers are threatened with deadly force you may open fire.  

That this terrorist cell is a Tea Party or Rod & Gun club meeting won't be part of the info they are given.

Edit: And under the NDAA, any citizen can be held incommunicado ... forever. It's all very legal.

Tue, 05/26/2015 - 15:35 | 6133373 FreeShitter
FreeShitter's picture

Ted cruz is a fucking shill.

Tue, 05/26/2015 - 16:04 | 6133497 Lostinfortwalton
Lostinfortwalton's picture

Well, it is an uphill climb to try an be a populist when your wife works for Goldman Sachs.

Tue, 05/26/2015 - 15:35 | 6133376 analyzer_66
analyzer_66's picture

Chuck Norris doesn't do push-ups,

 

He pushes the world down.

Tue, 05/26/2015 - 15:38 | 6133387 ParkAveFlasher
ParkAveFlasher's picture

...and that's why Oklahoma has earthquakes. 

Tue, 05/26/2015 - 15:51 | 6133444 Skiprrrdog
Skiprrrdog's picture

Jesus walked on water...Chuck Norris swims on land...

Tue, 05/26/2015 - 15:42 | 6133406 Bryan
Bryan's picture

Chuck Norris told EF Hutton to shut up.

Tue, 05/26/2015 - 15:42 | 6133409 Parsecs Taxi
Parsecs Taxi's picture

Fantasy and reality have gotten all jumbled up here in the Land of Make Believe!

Tue, 05/26/2015 - 15:47 | 6133421 tony wilson and...
tony wilson and saturn zion devils's picture

chuck can sure kick a man in the face,
even better than jason statham.
but deep down we all nose
these clowns get down and pray
and suck the rabbi and his penile sheathless cock

talk is cheap chuck
keep suckin goy
dats saturn time your wastin

Tue, 05/26/2015 - 15:45 | 6133422 MrBoompi
MrBoompi's picture

These fuckers like Norris never made a peep while Bush was screwing over the country.  But since the black man was elected, they've somehow decided the government is really bad.  All I could say to Norris and the other Texas conservative assholes is please secede.  Do you think the rest of the country needs you?

Tue, 05/26/2015 - 15:48 | 6133433 Clowns on Acid
Clowns on Acid's picture

Yo Bumpy - STFU you pos.

Did you get the reaction you wanted you low life, unskilled dbag....hehe.

Tue, 05/26/2015 - 18:37 | 6134043 MrBoompi
MrBoompi's picture

Yeah sure I got what I expected.  Doesn't bother me.  The country's full of douchebag conservatives.  The next time a republican's elected, they won't give a shit what he does.  You don't see me defending Obama anywhere because he's a douchebag conservative too.  So is Hillary.  As for you?  Who gives a fuck what you think?

Tue, 05/26/2015 - 19:41 | 6134234 Clowns on Acid
Clowns on Acid's picture

You do. Becausew I am smarter and stronger than you and will prevent you from eating or drinking. You stupid feck'n pos.

Tue, 05/26/2015 - 15:52 | 6133446 wisefool
wisefool's picture

Very Asute. And the press conference with the mayor of houston earlier today was quite literally a formality to get Federal funds from momma bear printed. But along those lines, chuck seems like an honest sort, and somebody better on our side than an obstacle.

Tue, 05/26/2015 - 16:53 | 6133689 dcohen
dcohen's picture

Norris is a retard.

When he made a video defending Israel bombing the brains out of palestinian children, that became obvious.

Tue, 05/26/2015 - 17:37 | 6133846 Crocodile
Crocodile's picture

The people crying racism are almost always the racist.  There is only one human race and we are all related.

Tue, 05/26/2015 - 18:41 | 6134057 MrBoompi
MrBoompi's picture

I admit I can't know who's a racist and who's not.  But I have to wonder why, if two people act the same way, only the black one gets criticized by conservatives.  As if Romney or the GOP woudn't have conducted a drill like Jade Helm.  Who is going to admit they're a racist anyway?  Nugent? Norris?  Oh hell no.

Tue, 05/26/2015 - 15:48 | 6133432 Bobbo
Bobbo's picture

I hope I don't do things like that when my career finally tanks.

Tue, 05/26/2015 - 15:50 | 6133437 falak pema
falak pema's picture

chuck norris is like Sylvester Stallone; he should take up painting like old Rambo/Rocky has done! 

Instead of talking like D Crockett at the Alamo. 

Tue, 05/26/2015 - 16:08 | 6133508 Lostinfortwalton
Lostinfortwalton's picture

Actually Chuck Norris served on active duty for four years as an air policeman in the USAF. Rambo? Obama? Bush?

Tue, 05/26/2015 - 16:31 | 6133596 DutchBoy2015
DutchBoy2015's picture

I was in the USAF,. most AP's were closet faggots.

Tue, 05/26/2015 - 16:34 | 6133607 DutchBoy2015
DutchBoy2015's picture

Do you know what a lot of AP\'s did in the USAF?   Stood in 20 below weather guarding a B-52.  8 hours straight,  

 

Tue, 05/26/2015 - 17:34 | 6133837 mastersnark
mastersnark's picture

Explains why he's so quick to defend the oath breaking military employees

Tue, 05/26/2015 - 15:52 | 6133442 Lostinfortwalton
Lostinfortwalton's picture

So why do you need two months and nine states to teach 1,200 troops how to kick in doors when they have been kicking in doors for the last twelve years?

Tue, 05/26/2015 - 16:13 | 6133536 guessagain
guessagain's picture

You train like you fight...

Kicking in American doors is different and requires training...

 

Tue, 05/26/2015 - 17:32 | 6133832 mastersnark
mastersnark's picture

Wish I could upvote this, like, a million times

Tue, 05/26/2015 - 15:59 | 6133474 Dumgoy
Dumgoy's picture

Gay.  The 'Murican tard can't understand or stay focused unless it involves a famous TV personality.

Tue, 05/26/2015 - 15:59 | 6133480 mastersnark
mastersnark's picture

"...our courageous men and women in uniform..."

So courageous, they won't risk their monthly paychecks to attack the real enemy of the Constitution, those in DC.

Tue, 05/26/2015 - 16:01 | 6133489 Mike Honcho
Mike Honcho's picture

Way to back off.  Now the exercise is to scare ISIS?  Weak Chuck.  What does Bronson have to say about all this?

 

Tue, 05/26/2015 - 16:03 | 6133494 Skiprrrdog
Skiprrrdog's picture

The real reason Hitler killed himself is because he found out that Chuck Norris is Jewish.

Tue, 05/26/2015 - 16:04 | 6133498 Ago Solvo
Ago Solvo's picture

I was a Reservist in Brooklyn NY, in the Marine Corps.  In 2002 we received a briefing by a Marine (Reservist) who was a detective I believe in the NYPD.  He told us there was a white supremacist group in Texas, with over 100,000 members.  That the head of this group was a former Green Beret, and that these people were going to take over the country, and ethnically cleanse it.  Realize this class was given to our whole Battalion, which at the time was something like 600+ Marines, and I have plenty of friends I still talk to in my platoon that remember this.  He said that we were going to have to go down and fight them, that this was coming soon to prepare for it.  Problem is, no one cared.  NYC, and our unit, is far more racist than any place I've ever been in the country, and far more corrupt.  Everyone's response was so what?  Who cares.  Are they coming here?  Once they're here then come get us.  Whatever the fuck Jade Helm is, this has been a long time in the making.

Tue, 05/26/2015 - 16:09 | 6133514 MASTER OF UNIVERSE
MASTER OF UNIVERSE's picture

Jade Helm 15 & American USARMY GI Joe and the MRAPS(tm) is most assuredly a purposeful special operation to intimidate the largest group of gun toting Americans in the United States of America. Tactically, it coincides with the Grexit, Brexit, and wholehearted destruction of the European Union which is the great leveler when it comes to crushing the Global economy into something analogous to the pyro-plastic clouds that the World Trade Centers were turned into when the CIA/NSA/USARMY covertly imploded those buildings to provide backdrop for the George Bush Torture Regime and American Exceptionalism in the Middle East Gulf of Oman takeover. They thought they were on-course to achieve their objectives until March 10th 2008 rolled up to the curb and barfed on their collective shoes. In brief, when superpowerless defunct old retired 'superpowers' can't pull rabbits out of the collective arse anymore they opt for FALSE FLAG events like Jade 'fucking' Helm 15 and GI Joe and the MRAPS(tm) for impression management purposes.

Tue, 05/26/2015 - 16:24 | 6133578 Flagit
Flagit's picture

 

 GI Joe and the MRAPS

 

That sounds like a 70's rock band.

Tue, 05/26/2015 - 17:38 | 6133847 TeethVillage88s
TeethVillage88s's picture

I have to admit I can see two sides to this.

US Used to do a very large exercise in German/Europe with Reservist every year. They would destroy some property & roads every time since main battle tanks were used. Today I imagine the Footprint of the US Military in Europe is smaller and maybe they don't want to announce that in their press releases.

But the Southerners were pretty clear about the Law and Federal Power all through out US Union history.

Many states did speak out against federal presence in their states.

"And I will reiterate again that the White House and the Pentagon could have easily avoided any controversy about Jade Helm 15 if its primary Washington leaders would have called for a confidential informative meeting..."

Military is only good it you train for much of the year. Lots of Military have training on their installations and that doesn't bother anybody.

But you train the way you fight. US Warfare has changed with the wars in Afghanistan & Iraq. Soldiers have more equipment and are expected to be mobile with more Electronic and Computer Systems to provide battlefield awareness. This means Vehicles have computers.

Jade Helm seems like the start of training state side with the special forces in mobile small units relying on aircraft and vehicles to read various destinations.

I don't know enough to guess what is being trained besides contacting air support for target reporting, checking maps, identifying modern equipment as military targets either for bombing or for capture. Probably the big distances allow for verification of range of radios of ground people.

On advantage no one pointed out is that Exercises on US Soil can be an Economic Stimulus for the USA... just like money spent in Germany leaks from our Economy and is wasted in a time of low Money Stock Velocity.

The Military has it's logic. Congress doesn't. Dick Cheney of course is Evil for what he did. Probably it is the Ivy League types and crazy officers that you should watch.

Tue, 05/26/2015 - 16:18 | 6133561 Mercuryquicksilver
Mercuryquicksilver's picture

Chuck Norris should be best remembered for launching his supercharged dodge Ram from beneath the earth, not for anything else!

 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EQkyi1_l6po

Tue, 05/26/2015 - 16:23 | 6133574 Lea
Lea's picture

Chuck Norris is 1) the subject of recurrent, ridiculous and funny jokes 2) the pride of the USA.

Don't say bad things about Chuck Norris, or else.

Tue, 05/26/2015 - 16:24 | 6133579 DutchBoy2015
DutchBoy2015's picture

Chuck Norris is the biggest CLOSET faggot in Texas.

Tue, 05/26/2015 - 16:23 | 6133575 DutchBoy2015
DutchBoy2015's picture

Chuck Norris is one of those Buybull thumping Jesus freaks also.

Fuck that idiot.

Tue, 05/26/2015 - 17:33 | 6133834 Crocodile
Crocodile's picture

Jesus Christ is the only one who will ultimately rid the earth of all that is rebellious (sins affects & unrepentant sinners); you are among that group.  Come over to the light before you die in the dark.

Tue, 05/26/2015 - 18:07 | 6133940 DutchBoy2015
DutchBoy2015's picture

Gibberish.   I do like Santa and the Easter Bunny though  same thing as Jesus.

Tue, 05/26/2015 - 16:28 | 6133588 henry chucho
henry chucho's picture

When Hollywoods done with you,senile old has-beens like Chuck Norris become Lone Wolf McQuade ,much like a  semi-psychotic Betty Davis morphed into Baby Jane,and alzheimers patient Ronald Reagan became President

Tue, 05/26/2015 - 17:07 | 6133737 Crocodile
Crocodile's picture

Good thing you gave yourself the thumbs up. 

Tue, 05/26/2015 - 16:29 | 6133594 DRT RD
DRT RD's picture

Chuck Norris counted to infinity, TWICE!

Tue, 05/26/2015 - 16:31 | 6133597 all-priced-in
all-priced-in's picture

What I want to know is who the fuck came up with Jade Helm 15 as the name?

 

Did the fucktards in DC have a focus group - hire an ad agency and spend $4 million dollars coming up with this special name?

 

 

BTW - WTF is a Jade Helm?

 

Was there a Jade Helm 14, 13, 12?

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Tue, 05/26/2015 - 16:57 | 6133703 Crocodile
Crocodile's picture

Jade is an oriental stone, think Chinese and Helm is a position of ledership.  Therefore JADE HELM is another way of saying the US has, in the future (who knows exactly) Chinese masters, which explains why they are buying old factories in places like Pittsburg and Detroit and retooling them.  Also they own 60% of the commercial realestate in NYC (among other major cities), including the JP Morgan HQ which has a tunnel with direct connection to the NY Fed's trading desk.

http://www.infowars.com/questions-swirl-over-bizarre-walmart-closures/  (BTW - Each store is located near a Military Base)

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Joint Assited Deployment & Execution (JADE) AND Homeland Eradication of Local Militia (HELM)

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

BTW - Chuck Norris will be having an accident of the heart stopping type and the autopsy will read "Natural Causes".

Tue, 05/26/2015 - 17:24 | 6133797 groundedkiwi
groundedkiwi's picture

There was an ambassader to Iran some years ago by the name of Helm.

Tue, 05/26/2015 - 17:26 | 6133806 Calmyourself
Calmyourself's picture

Jade= revered Chinese

Helm= taking control

In 2015

 

Help?

Tue, 05/26/2015 - 16:38 | 6133621 DutchBoy2015
DutchBoy2015's picture

Bruce Lee said Chuck Norris gave great blow jobs.

Tue, 05/26/2015 - 16:57 | 6133706 Lostinfortwalton
Lostinfortwalton's picture

DutchBoy,

Call the clinic; they want you back to continue the experiments.

Tue, 05/26/2015 - 17:04 | 6133731 Crocodile
Crocodile's picture

Dutch needs to be censored on ZH at some point in the near future.  He or she is obviously a teenager or early twenties at best.  This is based on the routine lack of ability to form thoughts and butcher the language in ways not yet embraced by the general zombie populace.

Tue, 05/26/2015 - 17:07 | 6133739 DutchBoy2015
DutchBoy2015's picture

What the fuck are you talking about?  Ya goddam shit for brains asswipe retard.

You couldn't put together a coherent sentence if your life depended on it.

I call you ''King of Gibberish''.

Tue, 05/26/2015 - 17:25 | 6133795 Crocodile
Crocodile's picture

Take your medication and calm yourself down.  You need a little thicker skin; like that of a Crocodile.  Thank you for making all my points in a single comment; not to bad for a boy.  Those funny little marks (i.e. ;) are called punctuation marks.

Tue, 05/26/2015 - 18:09 | 6133950 JimmyRainbow
JimmyRainbow's picture

sounds a bit like typical online game slang

nothing about age, just online gaming

Tue, 05/26/2015 - 16:42 | 6133627 DutchBoy2015
DutchBoy2015's picture

Jackie Chan said Chuck Norris was always trying to get in his pants so once Jackie dropped kicked him square in his nuts. After kicking the living shit out of Norris, Jackie took a huge shit in this stupid cowboy hat and made Chuck eat it.

Thats when Chuck Norris accepted Jayzus as his personal SAVIOUR.

Tue, 05/26/2015 - 17:10 | 6133755 TeethVillage88s
TeethVillage88s's picture

Hey White Boy. I like Chuck Norris.

Why don't you go back to your own people.

Here on the Rez, we like to feel we own the place. Don't be talking to our women either.

LOL

Tue, 05/26/2015 - 16:51 | 6133678 DutchBoy2015
DutchBoy2015's picture

Chuck Norris was an Air Policeman in the USAF and guarded the main gates of a base.

There was once a guy on base who hated the USAF so wanted to get out.  He went everywhere on his invisible motor scooter.  Always kick starting it and going ''Vroom Vroom''.  So everyone said he was nuts and get him out of the USAF.  They gave him a discharge and at the main gate of the base, he went up to Chuck Norris.  put the kickstand down on his invisible scooter and gave it to Chuck saying.,''Here , you can have my scooter, I won't be needing it anymore''. 

Chuck replied ''Thanks, and God bless you''

Tue, 05/26/2015 - 16:53 | 6133688 Hail Spode
Hail Spode's picture

For a three minute video of what happens when you mess with Chuck and Texas, here is a scence from the final episode of "Jericho." A common misunderstanding is that the jets from the Texas Air Force fired on the alliance jets. That was actually Chuck throwing rocks from El Paso. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Vt6YCfMRGbs

Tue, 05/26/2015 - 17:20 | 6133781 Crocodile
Crocodile's picture

Cilvil War - Texas Style?

Tue, 05/26/2015 - 16:54 | 6133691 roadhazard
roadhazard's picture

Chuck wiil be on the case as soon as he can get his Hoveround* scooter charged up.

Tue, 05/26/2015 - 17:05 | 6133733 DutchBoy2015
DutchBoy2015's picture

AAFES  (Army and AirForce Exchange Service) said they will be taking over all Walmart stores after the draft is re-instated and everyone will be in the military, like it or not.

Tue, 05/26/2015 - 17:06 | 6133734 TeethVillage88s
TeethVillage88s's picture

Well you know Chuck, they need your Texas Oil and your Refineries.

I'm not saying Obama would Nationalize any of your Privately Owned Oil Resources or Refineries, but maybe they just can never trust Texas.

They just want to keep close to you through a broad spectrum of measures and on the ground assets. Perry is in the System so yeah he is an Asset.

Tue, 05/26/2015 - 17:08 | 6133743 messystateofaffairs
messystateofaffairs's picture

Don't mess with Texas

and while you're at it

Don't fuck with Chuck

Tue, 05/26/2015 - 17:09 | 6133749 DutchBoy2015
DutchBoy2015's picture

All thats in Texas is steers and queers and I don't see any horns on Chuck Norris.

Tue, 05/26/2015 - 17:10 | 6133753 Crocodile
Crocodile's picture

Jade is an oriental stone, think Chinese and Helm is a position of ledership.  Therefore JADE HELM is another way of saying the US has, in the future (who knows exactly) Chinese masters, which explains why they are buying old factories in places like Pittsburg and Detroit and retooling them.  Also they own 60% of the commercial realestate in NYC (among other major cities), including the JP Morgan HQ which has a tunnel with direct connection to the NY Fed's trading desk.

http://www.infowars.com/questions-swirl-over-bizarre-walmart-closures/  (BTW - Each store is located near a Military Base)

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Joint Assited Deployment & Execution (JADE) AND Homeland Eradication of Local Militia (HELM)

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

BTW - Chuck Norris will be having an accident of the heart stopping variety and the autopsy will read "Natural Causes".

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Unfortunately, Texas is not the state it once was as corporate regimes have taken over much of the state legislators, but like any good dream it is good till you wake up to reality.  Go Texas!!

Tue, 05/26/2015 - 17:47 | 6133878 TeethVillage88s
TeethVillage88s's picture

Imagine the first year works out just fine and no incidents happen. The MSM is fine with it. everyone is happy.

Not many bankers in the West, but probably some assholes that need snatched.

But next year the Special Forces conduct jade helm in Connecticut, Long Island, New york city, New Jersey, Vermont... and they Snatch a bunch of TBTF Bankers.

Now we got something for the National Guard and the Special Forces guys to talk about.

Tue, 05/26/2015 - 17:17 | 6133771 DutchBoy2015
DutchBoy2015's picture

Chuck Norris was in the USAF.   His superiours asked him to go get 5 gallons of prop wash and 100 yards of flight line.  Chuck was gone for 8 hours before someone clued him in on exactly that was.

Tue, 05/26/2015 - 17:25 | 6133802 Bighorn_100b
Bighorn_100b's picture

This has nothing to do with Chuck. Texas was in a drought. Not anymore, same with LV, CA. JADE HELM is going to mean the sandbag braggarde.

Tue, 05/26/2015 - 17:42 | 6133861 Moustache Rides
Moustache Rides's picture

lol wut

Tue, 05/26/2015 - 17:43 | 6133864 ThisIsBob
ThisIsBob's picture

The military has so far been utterly unble to corral roving bands of diaper heads world wide.  Not to worry about Texans, Chuck.

Tue, 05/26/2015 - 19:05 | 6134146 Gab Timov
Gab Timov's picture

Obviously with a name like Jade Helm, they are practicing to take over cities in China. Reeee-lax. 

Tue, 05/26/2015 - 19:51 | 6134261 me or you
me or you's picture

Texans has more balls than any lazy patsies boys from the other States.

Tue, 05/26/2015 - 20:03 | 6134306 all-priced-in
all-priced-in's picture

DutchBoy2015

You sure seem to have an unhealthy interest in sex related stuff concerning Chuck Norris.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Tue, 05/26/2015 - 20:24 | 6134391 stiler
stiler's picture

The way we've been winning wars, I wouldn't bet agst TX; like Afghanistan, it's a big place.

Wed, 05/27/2015 - 13:30 | 6136767 Hope Copy
Hope Copy's picture

LoL.. just look at what is happening in Mexico

Tue, 05/26/2015 - 22:54 | 6134796 Hope Copy
Hope Copy's picture

and pay the same fees the the movie industry has to....

Tue, 05/26/2015 - 23:00 | 6134814 Ago Solvo
Ago Solvo's picture

I was a Reservist in Brooklyn NY, in the Marine Corps.  In 2002 we received a briefing by a Marine (Reservist) who was a detective I believe in the NYPD.  He told us there was a white supremacist group in Texas, with over 100,000 members.  That the head of this group was a former Green Beret, and that these people were going to take over the country, and ethnically cleanse it.  Realize this class was given to our whole Battalion, which at the time was something like 600+ Marines, and I have plenty of friends I still talk to in my platoon that remember this.  He said that we were going to have to go down and fight them, that this was coming soon to prepare for it.  Problem is, no one cared.  NYC, and our unit, is far more racist than any place I've ever been in the country, and far more corrupt.  Everyone's response was so what?  Who cares.  Are they coming here?  Once they're here then come get us.  Whatever the fuck Jade Helm is, this has been a long time in the making.  I posted this comment already.  It shows that it was posted in my comment history.  But I can't find it anywhere, so I'm posting it again.  (And no, not the comment that was a response to a comment that is pretty much the same thing)

Wed, 05/27/2015 - 02:52 | 6135175 mantrid
mantrid's picture

when the dollar finally collapses, and one day it will as every fiat currency ends that way, every state will rush to exit from failed union. these excercises will then prove more than useful in attempts to stiffle such attempts.

Wed, 05/27/2015 - 03:17 | 6135210 dreadnaught
dreadnaught's picture

when you play a movie/teevee cop/soldier........you are delusional commenting on current events

virtually every one of them has never served or have dodged the draft

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