"My Love Is Real" Kenyan Lawyer Offers Cows, Sheep, & Goats For Obama's Daughter

Tyler Durden's picture

"I got interested in her in 2008," Kenyan Felix Kiprono tells The Nairobian newspaper, and now, in an official marriage request, the lawyer has offered US president Barack Obama 50 cows, 70 sheep, and 30 goats in exchange for his 16-year old daughter Malia's hand in marriage. As AFP reports, Kiprono dismissed the notion he might be a gold-digger, adding that he and the young Obama would lead "a simple life," and he will teach Malia how to milk a cow. This is not the first time a Kenyan has offered livestock in exchange for a President's daughter...

 

A Kenyan lawyer has offered US president Barack Obama 50 cows and other assorted livestock in exchange for his 16-year old daughter Malia's hand in marriage, a report said Tuesday. As AFP reports,

Felix Kiprono said he was willing to pay 50 cows, 70 sheep and 30 goats in order to fulfil his dream of marrying the first daughter.

 

"I got interested in her in 2008," Kiprono said, in an interview with The Nairobian newspaper.

 

At that time President Obama was running for office for the first time and Malia was a 10-year-old.

 

"As a matter of fact, I haven't dated anyone since and promise to be faithful to her. I have shared this with my family and they are willing to help me raise the bride price," he said.

 

Kiprono said he intended to put his offer of marriage to Obama and hopes the president will bring his daughter with him when he makes his first presidential visit to Kenya, the country where his father was born, in July.

 

Obama's Kenyan grandmother, who is in her early 90s, still lives in Kogelo, in western Kenya, home to a number of the president's relatives.

 

"I am currently drafting a letter to Obama asking him to please have Malia accompany him for this trip. I hope the embassy will pass the letter to him," he said.

Kiprono dismissed the notion he might be a gold-digger.

"People might say I am after the family's money, which is not the case. My love is real," he insisted.

 

The young lawyer, whose age was not revealed, said he had already planned his proposal, which would be made on a hill near his rural village, and the wedding at which champagne would be shunned in favour of a traditional sour milk called "mursik".

 

Kiprono said that as a couple he and the young Obama would lead "a simple life".

 

"I will teach Malia how to milk a cow, cook ugali (maize porridge) and prepare mursik like any other Kalenjin woman," he said.

And while the gesture seems very generous, we would note that this is not the first time a Kenyan has offered livestock in exchange for a President's daughter. In 2009, as CNN reports, Kenyan Godwin Kipkemoi Chepkurgor offered 40 goats and 20 cows for Chelsea Clinton's love...

The Kenyan man first offered the dowry nine years ago to then-President Bill Clinton in asking for the hand of his only child. He renewed it Thursday after Secretary of State Hillary Clinton was asked about the proposal at a Nairobi town hall session.

CNN's Fareed Zakaria, the session's moderator, commented that given the economic crisis at hand, Chepkurgor's dowry was "not a bad offer."

However, Clinton said her daughter was her own person.

"She's very independent," she said. "So I will convey this very kind offer."

*  *  *
So what have we learned: Malia Obama is worth dramatically more than Chelsea Clinton (even adjusting for inflation).

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FreeShitter's picture

Keep the livestock bro, she aint worth it.

Skateboarder's picture

Trudat. A cow feeds people. The Obamae feed on people.

Deathrips's picture

Sold...the people demand that you take her fathers back in the deal.

 

RIPS

SafelyGraze's picture

livestock: 

fungible
divisible
unit of account
store of value
edible 

Richard Chesler's picture

I have it on good authority Obongo won't take anything less than 50 goats.

 

Creepy A. Cracker's picture

I will GLADLY trade our Kenyan for a goat.  A cow is too good for him.

TeamDepends's picture

A (shapeshifting) face only a lawyer could love.

boogerbently's picture

Wait until he's out of office and you can have her for a bag of weed.

Kirk2NCC1701's picture

And subject to Manipulation 

A Nanny Moose's picture

I would pay them to take the W00kie and its clan.

El Oregonian's picture

Dude, you don't want a GMO'd model. Go for a real one.

stocktivity's picture

Oh please...she's 16 years old. Lay off.

and Felix...milk your own fucking cows!

Now the old man on the other hand...you can have him and we will give YOU 50 cows.

mt paul's picture

I bid

 

 51 cows, 71 sheep, and 31 goats 

throw in a couple of baby seals too....

Herd Redirection Committee's picture

How much would he give for a real authentic Wookie?

kchrisc's picture

You owe me a new keyboard and monitor ; - )

Liberty is a demand. Tyranny is submission.

 

"That was funny. I don't care who you are."

villainvomit's picture

7 hens for the wookie.....I am going all in.

Kirk2NCC1701's picture

He's just ahead of his time.

Give it 10-20 years.

mercy's picture

I was expecting this to be credited to the Onion. However, I guess this is too much even for them.

logicalman's picture

The world has become a very strange place.

True life is now stranger than any twisted human mind could produce as a work of fiction.

Pity there's only one way to get off this fucking ride.

Silver Bullet's picture

Cue the racist 90% of ZH with their dumbass, racist comments.

Rattling Bones's picture

With sheep like you why would Obama need any more?

AIIB's picture

Why is it always fucking racist & anti-semitic to talk truthfully about things?

 

Granted, this is just a dumb ass story... But, given the context of a dumb ass story, it would occur to me that anything goes... FFS people

Benjamin123's picture

It would be refreshing if all racists (circa 95-100% of the human population) were to suddenly keep acting as racists but without appending everything they say with an "Im not a racist" while running in circles.

No one is presenting any "facts" about blacks in a thread about selling Malia for cows, just cracking jokes about them.

N2OJoe's picture

Jokes are funny while facts are ignored.

All the facts in the world wouldn't turn an Obamanaut into a thinking man, but one funny ass joke will surely piss him off!

A Nanny Moose's picture

It can always get worse. Just wait till the Mistress in Chief is Erected.

TeamDepends's picture

Five years 44 weeks. Anyone seen this clown before?

damicol's picture

Fuck off and get back to sucking your black faggot masters cock.

Or if the Kenyan monkey spurned you go get your fucking shoeshine box and get back to work.

 

SpiOpsChiwowwow's picture

Please! Offer a few more goats and take the whole fucking family.

Bastiat's picture

Too bad the Chelsea deal didn't go through . . .

Thirtyseven's picture

She got a better deal with NBC, and didn't even have to put out that much.

WTFUD's picture

True but Hunter Biden's available now with a lot of time on his hands.

CHC's picture
CHC (not verified) May 26, 2015 7:11 PM

How much is that tycoon willing to pay for Moochie?  His daughter is fine, leave her alone - take her Mom!

Rattling Bones's picture

He can't run again, so why would Obama need any more sheep? 

Thirtyseven's picture

Love has different meanings throughout the world I guess.  Something keeps telling me that us Westerners keep getting it backwards.  What's the divorce rate in Kenya by the way?

Dre4dwolf's picture

zero, they keep their wives chained to the basement overthere.

Rattling Bones's picture

50 cows, 70 sheep and 30 goats to keep the jackass and the pig company.

JuliaS's picture

Daddy's already an expert when it comes to milking the sheep.

WTFUD's picture

Dreams of my Father. Barry's NSA Toast. If he ever made it to Kenya i reckon he's got a better chance than Osama Bin Laden had in the pakistani's hands, though.

q99x2's picture

This goes back to the old myth of how certain queens ended up having cloven hooves. He forgot to mention the part about the tranny and the requirement of the father should he accept. Could be she's found a husband.

Arnold's picture

Wow, q99x2, you posted a slur.

Good for you.

B2u's picture

Obama already has a big cow.  He is married to her.

WTFUD's picture

Won't last much longer Mad Cow's Disease

dcohen's picture

Obama already has ~320 million sheep - 70 more isn't much of a deal.

Dixie Flatline's picture
Dixie Flatline (not verified) dcohen May 26, 2015 7:29 PM

Shut the thread down.  Winner.

Seasmoke's picture

I wouldn't even offer a cock for her. 

Ms No's picture

I wonder how many cows Obola paid for that hermaphrodite that he married.  They must have searched the world over to find her.  Incase you haven't seen it yet, Moochelle has a penis and that feller is hard to keep taped down.

CHC's picture
CHC (not verified) May 26, 2015 7:31 PM

Seriously...no chickens?!  The president likes chicken!  Get with the program damn it.