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EU Official "Denies" Report Of "Greek Deal Pending" Rumor Which Sparked Stocks, Euro Surge

Tyler Durden's picture




 

UPDATE: Denial *GREEK CREDITORS NOT YET DRAFTING FINAL ACCORD, EU OFFICIAL SAYS

Another day, another rumor (not yet denied) of a report that Greece and its creditors are crafting a deal (well durr)... The result, vertical buying panic in US equities, USD dumped (on EUR strength), TSY yields spike 3bps, and Crude oil surges... what a "market"

The Bloomberg headlines...

  • *GREECE, CREDITORS STARTED CRAFTING STAFF LEVEL ACCORD: OFFICIAL
  • *GREEK BANK DEPOSITS ARE SAFE, GOVT OFFICIAL SAYS
  • *GREECE, CREDITORS STARTED CRAFTING STAFF LEVEL ACCORD: OFFICIAL
  • *GREEK DEAL TO ALSO INCLUDE LONG TERM SOLUTION ON DEBT: OFFICIAL
  • *GREECE TO CHANGE PENSION SYSTEM, WON'T CUT PENSIONS: OFFICIAL

As Bloomberg reports,

Brussels Group of Greek officials, representatives of creditor institutions to start drafting Staff Level Agreement today, a Greek govt official says in e-mail to reporters.

  • Agreement to envisage low primary budget surpluses, no recessionary measures, sales tax overhaul, medium-term agreement on Greek debt relief, growth package
  • Agreement will not include additional EU1.8b in measures
  • Agreement will also envisage pension system reform, limiting early retirement, unification of pension funds; no pension cuts included
  • Disagreement between creditor institutions remains a problem; if it wasn’t for the IMF, agreement would have been reached by now
  • Creditor institutions should assume historical responsibility toward Greece, common European vision
  • Greek PM Alexis Tsipras will be in constant contact with other leaders, to facilitate reaching agreement
  • Greek deposits, financial system are safe

And the result...

The farce continues:

  • *GREEK CREDITORS NOT YET DRAFTING FINAL ACCORD, EU OFFICIAL SAYS

but

  • *TSIPRAS SAYS COUNTRY CLOSE TO DEAL WITH CREDITORS

So which is it?

 

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Wed, 05/27/2015 - 10:04 | 6135986 Temporalist
Temporalist's picture

A deal?  A deal!  Is that like a monorail?

Wed, 05/27/2015 - 10:08 | 6135998 Headbanger
Headbanger's picture

So...  What will happen when NO deal is announced soon?

Anyone?  Anyone?...

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uhiCFdWeQfA

Wed, 05/27/2015 - 10:10 | 6136014 pods
pods's picture

Groundhog day, without Bill Murray and Andie MacDowell.

pods

Wed, 05/27/2015 - 10:39 | 6136143 Haus-Targaryen
Haus-Targaryen's picture

Some Bloomberg intern is like "hey watch me make $400k in 30 seconds" 

Shorts USD v EUR

Hits publish.  

Covers position.  

Wed, 05/27/2015 - 10:58 | 6136213 Antifaschistische
Antifaschistische's picture

There's much larger money behind the "hit publish" insider trading than an intern.  

Wed, 05/27/2015 - 11:54 | 6136435 Wolferl
Wolferl's picture

Throw those pathetic Greeks out of Europe already.

Wed, 05/27/2015 - 10:11 | 6136021 NoDebt
NoDebt's picture

Oooh!  This is so EXCITING!  I can hardly wait to see what happens next.

Zzzzzzzzzz.

Wed, 05/27/2015 - 10:31 | 6136104 sodbuster
sodbuster's picture

"Greek bank deposits are safe" Get your money out NOW!!!!!

Wed, 05/27/2015 - 10:57 | 6136209 j0nx
j0nx's picture

Why can't the Greeks just front run their fake announcements that a deal is imminent when it's really not. They could pay the IMF off easily with their profits.

Wed, 05/27/2015 - 10:05 | 6135989 madbraz
madbraz's picture

and FIFA is the corrupt one...

Wed, 05/27/2015 - 10:06 | 6135996 DavidC
DavidC's picture

Funny that, straight on the US open...

DavidC

Wed, 05/27/2015 - 10:10 | 6135999 GMadScientist
GMadScientist's picture

As long as they can get the Acropolis up their ass, as the documents dictate, we have a deal.

Tooth Fairy, Santa Claus, Jesus, Elvis, Sasquatch, Nessie, and Easter Bunny all reported in area.

Wed, 05/27/2015 - 10:07 | 6136001 yrad
yrad's picture

"GREEK BANK DEPOSITS ARE SAFE, GOVT OFFICIAL SAYS"

 

--Get out now.

Wed, 05/27/2015 - 10:11 | 6136022 Racer
Racer's picture

When Fannie and Freddie were on the brink of collapse Hanky Panky said they were in no danger - same lies until it folds

Wed, 05/27/2015 - 10:15 | 6136037 Debugas
Debugas's picture

spot right on.

the moment russian president Yeltsin declared there is no risk of default - the next day there was a default

Wed, 05/27/2015 - 10:16 | 6136043 TabakLover
TabakLover's picture

When things get serious....you have to lie.

Wed, 05/27/2015 - 10:07 | 6136002 thismarketisrigged
thismarketisrigged's picture

they wont deny the rumor until the european and u.s ''markets'' are closed for the day.

 

then they will revive that rumor just in time for the european open tomm.

Wed, 05/27/2015 - 10:17 | 6136046 spastic_colon
spastic_colon's picture

exactly....look at all the fucking euro indices...must be month end....fucking bullshit

Wed, 05/27/2015 - 10:07 | 6136003 Racer
Racer's picture

'sub-prime is well contained'

Wed, 05/27/2015 - 10:26 | 6136075 ParkAveFlasher
ParkAveFlasher's picture

"don't worry, I'll pull out"

Wed, 05/27/2015 - 10:08 | 6136007 Hongcha
Hongcha's picture

Why I covered my TZA yesterday.  Was this not obviously on the horizon?  But please, continue your hapless bellyaching.  

Wed, 05/27/2015 - 10:12 | 6136026 jamochavez
jamochavez's picture

And you went long I assume since it was so obvious

Wed, 05/27/2015 - 10:54 | 6136202 First There Is ...
First There Is A Mountain's picture

You don't cover a long ETF, dipshit.....YOU FUCKING SELL IT. So tired of listening to you fucking E-Trade pikers try and convince us what heavy hitters you are. Do you sell out of your short positions, too? Did you buy your TZA on margin? lol. 

 

 

Wed, 05/27/2015 - 10:08 | 6136008 NoDebt
NoDebt's picture

"GREECE SAYS DISAGREEMENTS AMONG CREDITORS A PROBLEM: OFFICIAL"

I'm going to take a guess and say that means the IMF.

Wed, 05/27/2015 - 10:09 | 6136012 ebworthen
ebworthen's picture

Sure, there's a deal, just like that plan to pay off the $18+ Trillion of U.S. debt and prosecute Wall Street criminals.

Oh yeah, and audit the FED too - just a matter of time.

Wed, 05/27/2015 - 10:10 | 6136016 Tsar Pointless
Tsar Pointless's picture

I saw a groundhog this morning, and she was admiring her shadow.

Wed, 05/27/2015 - 10:10 | 6136019 q99x2
q99x2's picture

Does this mean Greece isn't going to default?

Wed, 05/27/2015 - 10:12 | 6136027 NoDebt
NoDebt's picture

Stop, stop.  Please stop.  I'm laughing so hard I can't breathe.

You mean AGAIN or just this time?  It's important to be specific here.

Wed, 05/27/2015 - 10:14 | 6136025 khakuda
khakuda's picture

Is the the 8th of 9th kick of the can/buy some time move?  I'm losing track after the better part of a decade and counting.

I'm starting to think we are actually all dead and in hell, but just don't know it yet.

Wed, 05/27/2015 - 10:13 | 6136029 Dr. Engali
Dr. Engali's picture

Correct me if I'm wrong, but haven't we seen this story before?

Wed, 05/27/2015 - 10:14 | 6136036 DavidC
DavidC's picture

Surely not?

DavidC

Wed, 05/27/2015 - 10:45 | 6136166 Tall Tom
Tall Tom's picture

Only when the oligarchs have that pain in the pocketbook as markets begin to tank.

 

Yellen...

 

We need some MOAR QE and fast...About $100 Trillion might be nice to delay the Derivatives Bubble Bust for a few years. It is just a few keystrokes. It is only ZEROES.

 

Or just pay those God damned foreign creditors of Greece off to keep their Banks solvent. Fuck Congress. You do not need Congress. You can be like your former boss, Bernanke, and just refuse to answer those limp dick motherfuckers.

 

You do not need approval from anyone Yellen. MOAR QE. MOAR. Kick the can...before it is too late and we get the crisis that you have planned....you fucking cunt, Yellen.

Wed, 05/27/2015 - 10:13 | 6136031 Chad_the_short_...
Chad_the_short_seller's picture

I AM SO MOTHER FUCKING SICK AND MOTHER FUCKING TIRED OF HEARING ABOUT GREECE, WHETHER OR NOT THEY'RE GOING TO DEFAULT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Wed, 05/27/2015 - 10:28 | 6136080 Dr. Engali
Dr. Engali's picture

I'm not sure I get  how you are feeling. Care to elaborate a little more?

Wed, 05/27/2015 - 10:30 | 6136093 Tall Tom
Tall Tom's picture

LOL. Wry and dry wit per usual.

Wed, 05/27/2015 - 10:28 | 6136083 Tall Tom
Tall Tom's picture

Who has got the gun to your head and forcing you to read about it or listen to it?

 

Personally I find the drama quite entertaining because it may mean the end of Western Civilization.

 

Then we can all enjoy some Amok Time before we all take that final Dirt Nap.

 

It will be fun to blow shit up and shoot thieves...make 'em suffer before they die..

 

Perhaps you'd be better off tuning into CNBS and watching Cramer the Clown beep horns and crap.

Wed, 05/27/2015 - 10:16 | 6136042 vegas
vegas's picture

Mario, Please place me on your email list along with Soros so I know what you are going to say before the other muppets find out. I'm not a selfish guy, I'm willing to give you 5% vig on this info.

Wed, 05/27/2015 - 10:18 | 6136050 aliki
aliki's picture

i could be dead wrong but i still believe a deal gets done because why not? its been this easy so far. just keep the strategy of "extend & pretend" going. german buckled on QE at the last minute so why not with this? at the end of the day, every administration whether its conserative or libral wants the same thing - another term. last person IMO to do the right thing was volcker when he jacked rates to crush inflation; now we just lie about all the inflation in the system and do whatever necessary to make sure we pump-up asset prices no matter what the collateral damage is to the real economy. absolutely sad but the masses vote with perception and it seems as tho perception is whatever the stock market is doing; only reason IMO obama got elected - he was a senator for a few years and had zero business experience but since markets were cratering (and republicans put up a shit candidate), he got in. when up for election against romney, i said only way romney wins was if markets were cratering. NO WAY obama was gonna let that happen so the doves levitated the market, public perception was things were stable, result obama won. looking at this situation, i see a mirror-image. merkel is not going to want her party to have their fingerprints on ripping apart this debt pile because of the pain it will inflict & they will be held responsible. however if anyone was going to be responsible, i think it would be her but i don't see it. both sides go down to the wire to try and jam as much out of the other side but end of the day, a deal gets done, music keeps going until the entire thing blows.

Wed, 05/27/2015 - 10:20 | 6136054 Robert3620
Robert3620's picture

Greek drama use to be good but this one sucks and it's really stale.

Wed, 05/27/2015 - 10:26 | 6136076 LetsGetPhysical
LetsGetPhysical's picture

the slowest of slow trainwrecks ever. 

Wed, 05/27/2015 - 10:44 | 6136161 NoDebt
NoDebt's picture

Not compared to Japan.

Wed, 05/27/2015 - 10:29 | 6136085 Panic Mode
Panic Mode's picture

Buy, buy, buy, buy, no, no, sell, sell, sell, sell. Hang on, sell the buy, no, buy the sell .... Oh, fuck it, buy & sell the long short, 

Wed, 05/27/2015 - 10:29 | 6136088 khakuda
khakuda's picture

The suspension of reality continues or as some say, "At this point, what difference does it make?"

Wed, 05/27/2015 - 10:35 | 6136122 sudzee
sudzee's picture

Looking forward to the following future headlines:

Greece whips EU ass.

Spain forges silver sword and readies a blood soaked white flag for the final battle in the bullshit ring.

 

Wed, 05/27/2015 - 10:49 | 6136180 asscannon101
asscannon101's picture
"Greek Deal Pending"

The whole thing is just a huge misunderstanding over what some reporter overheard Schauble mumbling to Merkel during a break in the negotiations. What he actually said was, "Epic Greek ass-pounding" .

Wed, 05/27/2015 - 10:53 | 6136198 Yancey Ward
Yancey Ward's picture

I am privy to the pending deal, and it appears solid.  The key provision is that Greece will receive every single discarded sofa from the EU for its potential lost, loose, change value.

Wed, 05/27/2015 - 11:02 | 6136240 CHC
CHC's picture

Vertical good...horizontal bad.  Humphffffff

Wed, 05/27/2015 - 12:32 | 6136539 walküre
walküre's picture

Pretty clear what's really going on here

Agreement to envisage low primary budget surpluses, no recessionary measures, sales tax overhaul, medium-term agreement on Greek debt relief, growth package

Agreement will not include additional EU1.8b in measures

Agreement will also envisage pension system reform, limiting early retirement, unification of pension funds; no pension cuts included

Good luck with that! Bullshit, ain't going to happen.

But here's the real "deal"

Disagreement between creditor institutions remains a problem; if it wasn’t for the IMF, agreement would have been reached by now

IMF is working on a default scenario. Greece is flat ass broke and there's no upside. IMF wants its pound of flesh and forcing the Greek's hand.

Creditor institutions should assume historical responsibility toward Greece, common European vision

Fuck that "European Vision". Stuff it right up deep into your collective asses. It's a financial gimmick to make the 1% filthy rich. The rest of the European population is worse off than before the Euro was introduced and that is across the board in all states.

But yes, "historically" there has always been the privileged few vs the enslaved masses.

Wed, 05/27/2015 - 12:39 | 6136560 Anunnaki
Anunnaki's picture

Default and beg Uncle Vlad for a BRICS loan to issue the New Drachma. Doesn't the AIIB need customers? Vlad ain't gonna pay any Zio vig on the old debt. Let the Euro swirl the bowl

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