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Shake Shak Slumps As "Chicken Spin-Off" Gains Disappear
Who could have seen that coming?
A 30% surge on talk of Shake Shak moving into Chicken... is gone.
The catalyst appears to be news that popular gourmet sandwich chain Jimmy John's is preparing for an IPO.
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If you spin a chicken all you get is a DIZZY chicken -- not permanent stock gains!
SHAK can wring out gains by choking its chicken harder.
It gets better....they are rotating into Sears....
It keeps on giving....
Anyone want to buy my Webvan shares?
Did anyone ever try and carry a pan of water around?
You try and keep it balanced, but it starts to slosh around you try and correct for it, but it sloshes back even worse, with crazy waves cancelling out others and doubling the size of others.
That basically is what the "markets" are like today, except try and do that on a tight-rope during an earthquake.
Only a matter of time.
pods
Works with hot grease, too, I found out. Been there, done that, got the scar.
The hot dog stand (gourmet, of ourse) on the corner Wall and Broad is going public.
As competitors they list Grilled Cheese Truck (also abou to go public.)
Wall St banks are tripping over each other to be lead book runners
Wait. You mean each store is not worth 53 Million?
No, it just TASTES like chicken.
Be back in 15, need to go IPO my taco stand.
So this time around instead of silly web sites with no viable business model we are actually talking about F%^* chicken sandwhiches ?
I'm getting really close to wanting to turn Amish....
Then you can start making those Amish sheds, but instead of just making them, you can have a secret factory of Mexicans making them, and then IPO the whole thing.
Toss a little back to the community and since nobody has the internet there, you will kill it and nobody will know.
pods
You're thinking too small, you sell the mexican made sheds to people with no FICO score for 22% interest, then you bundle the loans into CSSs(Collateralized Shed Securities), I got a buddy over at Fitch that will rate them in the AAA, or at least AA+ tranch and we'll make a fortune.
We'll need to grease some people on the Finance Committee though, do you have any seed money?
Have you ever tried to get into a Chik Fil A at lunchtime?
Nah. Chicken flavored shake? I don't think so. No wonder the stock is tanking!
FUCK YOU SHAKE SHACK BASTARDS!!!!!!!!!
it'll run you 70% to short shake shack. now you know why.
I was always told that an alternative to the axe for beheading chickens (prior to butchering) was to grab them by the head and spin them around until centrifugal force did the job. No joke.
Yes that is the easiest way, just remember to hold the feet.
OK so Spin Shack? Raising billions to stop shaken chicken syndrome.
Time for a new album from Jimmie's Chicken Shack.
Shake Shack aka Radio Shack ... dumb assholes
Sell, sell, sell!!! Wait, I heard they are releasing a Zesty Ranch Mayo, Buy, buy, buy!!!
Those getting the gold off the goose have got it and gone.
Now the pension funds and sheeple are left with the carcass. On the bright side, they can make Duck à l'orange with it.
Liberty is a demand. Tyranny is submission..
Some must fall so some may "exit."
Aw man! I was looking forward to investing in Pollos Hermanos.
Aw man! I was looking forward to investing in Pollos Hermanos.