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Welcome To The Recovery 2015: JP Morgan To Fire 5000

Tyler Durden's picture




 

In the latest example of just how strong America’s double-adjusted economic ‘recovery’ truly is, JP Morgan is set to layoff some 5,000 employees.

  • JPM EXPECTED TO LAY OFF MORE THAN 5,000 BY NEXT YEAR: WSJ

The cuts, which will amount to around 2% of the bank’s total workforce over the course of the next 12 months, come as the bank seeks to pare its reliance on human tellers, favoring machines at its nearly 6,000 branches. However, WSJ notes that the move will also affect workers across the bank’s business lines. Here’s more:

The layoffs on the other hand are more broad-based, affecting all four of the bank’s major business units: corporate and investment banking, consumer and community banking, asset management and commercial banking. Some employees in the “controls” part of the bank, such as those in legal or compliance, will also be affected as the bank trims departments that have grown dramatically over the past few years, people familiar with the matter said.

 

J.P. Morgan hasn’t detailed the layoffs previously, but did broadly discuss expense cuts in a February presentation to investors. At least 1,000 of the 5,000 layoffs have already been carried out in the past few months, but more are expected as the bank continues to slim expenses in an effort to meet profitability goals, one of the people added.

We suppose cuts to legal and compliance department should come as no surprise, because as we reported last month, the bank is set to implement a new program whereby algos will root out problem employees before regulatory infractions are even committed.

In any event, WSJ goes on to say that the announcement reflects a cautious approach to what is still a very tough environment both from a regulatory perspective and from an NIM perspective:

The latest job cuts show that despite some resiliency in certain business lines, including merger advisory and asset management, J.P. Morgan remains focused on cutting excess costs. J.P. Morgan has trimmed its total head count in 11 of the past 12 quarters, to 241,145 employees, down about 20,000, or 7.7% from the peak.

 

Banks have been scrambling to cut costs enough to counteract increased regulatory and legal expenses in recent years while revenue growth has been hurt by low interest rates. J.P. Morgan is also looking to more sophisticated technologies to automate work, such as new ATMs or faster trading capabilities. At his Wednesday presentation, Mr. Dimon said the average branch could lose two tellers and add one financial adviser as the business of handling deposits grows more electronic.

 

“It’s cheaper for us and good for clients,” Mr. Dimon noted.

Maybe so, but we’ll tell you who it’s most certainly not good for: the people who are about to be fired. To those folks we say simply that you can blame ZIRP, a flagging US economy which ZIRP has failed to prop up, and of course, the machines.

 

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Thu, 05/28/2015 - 13:52 | 6140639 Headbanger
Headbanger's picture

WHOA!

If that's not a sell signal...

Thu, 05/28/2015 - 14:00 | 6140672 Paveway IV
Paveway IV's picture

JPM employees: You knew this would eventually happen. You knew how much scratch your bosses have been raking in. You know their secrets. Time to step up to the plate and dish some dirt. It's not going to save your jobs, but you'll at least have the pleasure of taking down the fucking parasites that have been enriching themselves at your expense.

Tip off ZH or send limted-hangout Assange an encrypted email. You know you want to. Be a hero and DO IT NOW.

Thu, 05/28/2015 - 14:51 | 6140871 MOB666
MOB666's picture

and a new round of falling off bridges, nail guns etc...

Thu, 05/28/2015 - 16:26 | 6141258 remain calm
remain calm's picture

Jamie decided to fire the ethics department.

Thu, 05/28/2015 - 15:11 | 6140949 stant
stant's picture

Was t true until 3:00 because Fox News reported it and said they were first

Thu, 05/28/2015 - 13:53 | 6140645 remain calm
remain calm's picture

Can the fire the King pin criminal dueche bag Jamie Diamond?

Thu, 05/28/2015 - 13:55 | 6140656 dontgoforit
dontgoforit's picture

Gotta get rid of the 5000 so Diamond can get his $200 million bonus, you know.

Thu, 05/28/2015 - 14:19 | 6140754 buzzsaw99
buzzsaw99's picture

yeah, bonus time again bitchez

take a few billion from loan loss reserves and call it a day

thanks bernanke

Thu, 05/28/2015 - 13:54 | 6140651 dontgoforit
dontgoforit's picture

Good day, Mr. Roboto will now handle your transaction.  Do not move quickly or you will be hit with a phaser.

Thu, 05/28/2015 - 13:54 | 6140653 Tinky
Tinky's picture

Trimming "employees in the “controls” part of the bank, such as those in legal or compliance"

Perfect.

Thu, 05/28/2015 - 13:56 | 6140660 dontgoforit
dontgoforit's picture

Yeah.  Since they don't have to worry about any of that stuff anymore, why carry the deadwood?  It's like having blacksmiths in a 'Vette shop.

Thu, 05/28/2015 - 16:49 | 6141335 Temporalist
Temporalist's picture

Tits on a bull

Thu, 05/28/2015 - 13:57 | 6140667 WTFRLY
WTFRLY's picture

So what will be the plan when the crisis actually hits? Skynet?

Thu, 05/28/2015 - 14:00 | 6140675 Implied Violins
Implied Violins's picture

I wonder if they were to 'whack' all 5000 for their life insurance payouts - would anyone notice? ...Or care?

Thu, 05/28/2015 - 18:10 | 6141611 Sanity Bear
Sanity Bear's picture

a cheering section perhaps

Thu, 05/28/2015 - 14:01 | 6140678 SillySalesmanQu...
SillySalesmanQuestion's picture

Those must have been the ones who "didn't measure up to the firms high expectations..."

Thu, 05/28/2015 - 14:03 | 6140679 Dr. Engali
Dr. Engali's picture

That may explain the spike in nail gun sales we've seen lately. 

Thu, 05/28/2015 - 14:53 | 6140880 NihilistZero
NihilistZero's picture

It's likely for physical bank staff.  I have the displeasure of going into Chase once a month for someone else's account.  There are now 2 ATMs at the window and only 1 or 2 actual tellers.  The bailout kings are cutting the lowliest workers.

If your not banking at a Credit Union or small local bank you're supporting this bullshit.

Thu, 05/28/2015 - 15:08 | 6140934 astoriajoe
astoriajoe's picture

Anyone have suggestions for NYC credit unions? There are a bunch, but I haven't found one that I would qualify for in terms of their target membership.

Mon, 06/01/2015 - 16:49 | 6153069 artless
artless's picture

You can at the very least support a slightly less evil entity and bank at TDBank in NYC. Dirt cheap, convenient, and all the same stuff of the zombie American banks.

Except for the bullet proof walls between you and the teller.

Why ANYONE banks at Citi, JPMorgan, BofA, remains a mystery to me. But then New Yorkers are the dumbest consumers AND voters on the planet. Some sort of star-fukker mentality or somethin'

Hard to say.

Thu, 05/28/2015 - 14:03 | 6140680 Jack Burton
Jack Burton's picture

My daughter has a close friend she went to High School and College with who has worked for Royal Bank of Scotland since 2010. He is now 31 years old, and he is, by any standard, rich. Just a few years of being a project manager for RBS and he is really set for life. Now, imagine UK taxpayer poured tens of billions of taxpayer Pounds into RBS to save it from BK. Just makes you fucking pissed off to see people profit like that from a bankrupt communist ward of the state bank. If not for taxpayers, this kid would not even have a job. Yet, he sees himself as a top notch capitalist. He will gladly tell you that minimum wage workers makes too much, and governments spending is a waste. While he earns money ONLY because of a Tax Payer Bailout. Double think.

Thu, 05/28/2015 - 14:13 | 6140728 venturen
venturen's picture

he didn't get rich being a project manager...that is for sure. I know a bunch of people retired from major investment banks and none of them did it any other way than trading and cooking up deals. Heck i know a guy at Goldman....who is a flunky...they don't pay flunky well...they aren't crooked enough. You have to be Corzine like...NO SOUL!

Thu, 05/28/2015 - 14:14 | 6140731 corporatewhore
corporatewhore's picture

sounds just like the hypocrite Tea Party people who've gotten theirs and want to make sure no one else does

Thu, 05/28/2015 - 14:28 | 6140797 Banker Buster
Banker Buster's picture

What exactly did Tea Party people get?  The only one who gets something in a centrally planned socialist economy is those closest to the rulers, crony fuk faces like Warren Buffett.

Thu, 05/28/2015 - 14:20 | 6140748 rejected
rejected's picture

Doublethink is now triplethink Jack.

Thieves think like that until they have the handcuffs slapped on them. In todays fraudfest he is just another crook rationalizing his rape of others.

I've seen pics of the people in Chicago giving Capone standing ovations for being a generous crook. The people of Louisiana reelected Edwards, one of the most notorious crooks of the time because he shared the booty.

The same is going on today with the banks and the Stock Casinos. As long as the gullible's think they're getting a cut they'll overlook everything else.

 

Thu, 05/28/2015 - 14:21 | 6140769 Banker Buster
Banker Buster's picture

The building One57 in NY is another example of this.  This building wouldn't exist and most of it's inhabitants would have had a major financial setback, to say the least, if the tax payers didn't foot their bill.  End the central banks picking winners and losers.  

 

Come to think of it, Williambonzai needs to make a picture of Bernanke waving out of one of the windows of One57 in his robber mask.

Thu, 05/28/2015 - 14:03 | 6140681 MASTER OF UNIVERSE
MASTER OF UNIVERSE's picture

Blame Greenspan, NOT the machines, or ZIRP, Z/H.

Thu, 05/28/2015 - 14:19 | 6140737 Dr. Engali
Dr. Engali's picture

You're delusional if you don't think that zirp and machines have anything to do with this. When  Hal 5000 can be programmed to BTFD, why do they need people?

Thu, 05/28/2015 - 16:32 | 6141279 MASTER OF UNIVERSE
MASTER OF UNIVERSE's picture

The Committee to Ruin the World [see Time Magazine] programmed Hal 5000 after they contracted out to have Hal built in the first place. ZIRP was always Greenspan's intention all along if one cares to harken back to Greenspan's PhD thesis on subprime loans and how to guide for a housing Ponzi Casino in his Casino Capitalism Ponzi scheme. Barrons has done the most to unearth Greenspan's thesis.

Thu, 05/28/2015 - 14:17 | 6140686 e_goldstein
e_goldstein's picture

Could have been worse. 

JPM could have forced 5K of their employees to jump off the roof in order to collect on the life insurance policies.

Oh wait, that would be better, wouldn't it?

Thu, 05/28/2015 - 14:49 | 6140867 Soul Glow
Soul Glow's picture

Or have them suicided so they don't collect a policy.

Thu, 05/28/2015 - 14:06 | 6140695 rejected
rejected's picture

Who needs legal or compliance employees when you own government?

Thu, 05/28/2015 - 14:14 | 6140733 silverserfer
silverserfer's picture

dance with the devil and your going to get burned 

Thu, 05/28/2015 - 14:18 | 6140750 HamRove
HamRove's picture

Who needs people these days?

Thu, 05/28/2015 - 14:23 | 6140776 Kaiser Sousa
Kaiser Sousa's picture

"when u lay down with dogs...."

well, ya'll should know the rest of the sayin'....

Thu, 05/28/2015 - 14:48 | 6140861 Soul Glow
Soul Glow's picture

BULLISH!

Thu, 05/28/2015 - 14:54 | 6140886 cn13
cn13's picture

The 2% being fired are the ones with integrity who refuse to rape and pillage the world's financial system like the rest of  JPM's employees.

The too big to fail banks are nothing but legalized mafia families.

They control the system from the president down to the lowliest regulator.

Sad days for Amerika.

Thu, 05/28/2015 - 15:01 | 6140907 Starkman
Starkman's picture

"We suppose cuts to legal and compliance department should come as no surprise . . ."  Of course not: there's no need for a legal team anymore in the banking industry; they do what they want and there's no convictions.

Thu, 05/28/2015 - 15:07 | 6140933 TeethVillage88s
TeethVillage88s's picture

Obama came into off with a lot of optimism, progressive ideas, looking for a bright new future.

- But he had too much HOPE in TBTF Banks, FED, SEC, FDIC, OCC, Treasury, and FINRA

- Apparently he had no skills in Finance or what the DOJ & FBI were supposed to do about Accounting Control Fraud

RECOVERY??

Obama didn't do anything Regarding the Economy & Banking let alone lift up his own People

LEGACY??

- STREET ANARCHY IN BALTIMORE...
- RESIDENTS FEARFUL AMID RASH OF HOMICIDES...
- CITY GETS BLOODIER...
- 8-Year-Old Boy Fatally Shot In Head...
- Police Say Mobs Gather Around Officers When Responding to Calls...
- MD Sheriff: Cops 'have been eviscerated, disemboweled'...

1992 Bill Clinton found out it was Jobs, then did nothing but tear up America, Obama just didn't know what to do as president... so he waited for people to tell him. Unfortunately the only people that can reach out to him are Wealthy Crooks.

LEGACY = No Black man will ever be Elected to US Presidency again. And likely USA will collapse within 20 years.

Obama Legacy = Idiocracy, Systemic Information Holding, Systemic Filter of all Main Stream Media, Systemic Lying and Dumbing Down the Voters, Citizens and Children.

Thu, 05/28/2015 - 15:11 | 6140948 chomu
chomu's picture

 At his Wednesday presentation, Mr. Dimon said the average branch could lose two tellers and add one financial adviser.

 

Brilliant strategy. Rape your clients with shitty funds before they can deposit their paycheck..

Thu, 05/28/2015 - 15:11 | 6140953 Stormtrooper
Stormtrooper's picture

Cool!! 5000 more Patriots to man the guillotines! Should be able to clean up D.C. in just a few days and then its off to the heavy lifting in Manhattan.

Thu, 05/28/2015 - 15:52 | 6141117 Coletrane
Coletrane's picture

gotta pay for those settlements some way

Thu, 05/28/2015 - 15:59 | 6141144 Downtoolong
Downtoolong's picture

the bank seeks to pare its reliance on human tellers, favoring machines at its nearly 6,000 branches.

BTW, Wells Fargo, BofA, and every major bank is now in the process of doing this too. Herd mentality is alive and well among the TBTF. Of course, Goldman won’t be affected as much, since the only branch that so-called “bank holding company” owns must be somewhere outside of the U.S.

Thu, 05/28/2015 - 16:08 | 6141177 J J Pettigrew
J J Pettigrew's picture

Jamie Dimond compensation $20 Million this year...

 

Thu, 05/28/2015 - 16:11 | 6141187 venturen
venturen's picture

be better if it was a firing squad

Thu, 05/28/2015 - 17:13 | 6141421 GRDguy
GRDguy's picture

From JP Morgan to employees being let go:  Thank you for prostituting yourself to our ideals and contributing to  our profit, but we no longer desire your services.  Please leave and go sell yourself to some other financial sociopathic organization. Good luck.

Thu, 05/28/2015 - 18:12 | 6141615 Ajax_USB_Port_R...
Ajax_USB_Port_Repair_Service_'s picture

Went to Chase shortly after reading the article on Drudge. The teller said she was "having a wonderful day". Didn't have the heart to mention 'the article'.

Thu, 05/28/2015 - 19:54 | 6141890 starman
starman's picture

I'll  bet you JPM's  earnings will be up next year!

Thu, 05/28/2015 - 21:01 | 6142074 tarabel
tarabel's picture

 

 

Well, duh...

Who needs bank tellers in a cashless society?

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