BOJ's Kuroda "Believes He Should Fly", Says Central Bankers Should Think Happy Thoughts

Tyler Durden's picture

In a world of central bankers gone Keynesian crazy, one man stands alone.

BoJ Governor Haruhiko Kuroda is running what is perhaps the greatest (or worst, depending on how one is predisposed to view centrally planned economies) monetary experiment in history. 

True, Kuroda is monetizing the entirety of JGB gross issuance, stripping the market of liquidity and setting the stage for heightened volatility, (more) VaR shocks, and all manner of other central bank-induced aberrations in the process. But that’s par for the central banker course in today’s market.

As outlined extensively here, the BoJ has taken things a step further by providing plunge protection for the Nikkei, stepping in to support stocks whenever sentiment looks weak and accumulating an equity portfolio somewhere on the order of $95 billion in the process. 

With each passing soundbite, it becomes increasingly apparent that Kuroda is detached from reality in terms of recognizing that the BoJ’s policies (and Abenomics more generally) have failed to stoke inflation expectations even as they have exacerbated the divide between rich and poor and embedded an as yet unknowable amount of risk into the financial system in the process.

Against this backdrop, the only thing keeping the dream alive is blind faith in the omnipotence of central bankers.

Consider that point, and then consider the following, excerpted from Kuroda’s opening remarks at the 2015 BOJ-IMES Conference:

The issues I have raised so far are all complex, and there are no quick, definitive solutions for them. Nevertheless, I strongly believe that, at this one-and-a-half day conference, we will address the issues we currently face and find our way forward through lively discussions. I trust that many of you are familiar with the story of Peter Pan, in which it says, "the moment you doubt whether you can fly, you cease forever to be able to do it." Yes, what we need is a positive attitude and conviction. Indeed, each time central banks have been confronted with a wide range of problems, they have overcome the problems by conceiving new solutions. 

 


*  *  *

With that, Kuroda has just admitted that DM central banks are literally relying on a fairy tale to keep the global economy and financial system afloat. At least he's being honest for once.

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dimwitted economist's picture

He's Right you Know.. Also smoking Crack helps too.. (or so i hear)

angel_of_joy's picture

I think this Kuroda guy qualifies for a very special Haiku. Fortunately, the garden gnome (Van Rompuy) will be there to help, soon...

NoDebt's picture

Agreed.  We need an in-house Haiku King to be the Yin to The Limerick King's yang.

No, wait, that didn't come out right at all.

remain calm's picture

Kordura and Japan's economy is analogous to a man lying in a hospital bed with cancer spread throughot his body beliefing and hoping it will go away if he just takes more vitamins. Japan's economy like the man in the hospital bed are dead. RIP

KnuckleDragger-X's picture

When reality becomes too brutal, people sometimes retreat into their mind to find a happy place and he has found his......

max2205's picture

How does that fucker sleep at night......

 

Oh wait  it's Other People's Money !

Tall Tom's picture

He does not sleep. He is on Acid. LSD.

 

You cannot sleep when you are on Acid.

 

He believes that he should fry after all...

 

Damned Rayciss reporters anyway...When a Japanese National uses the sound "r" it does not always mean "l" 

 

"I believe I should fry" does not mean "I believe I should fly"...necessarily...although it can mean both, I guess.

 

Of course I believe he should fry...in the Electric Chair.

TruthInSunshine's picture

LMFAO!

Kuroda is literally clinically insane! Needs MOAR advice from Paul "When Aliens Attack" Krugman!

 

Central Banker Anthem For the Sheeple:

 

R Kelly I Believe I Can Fly Lyrics - YouTube

 

"I Believe I Can Fly"

I used to think that I could not go on
And life was nothing but an awful song
But now I know the meaning of true love
I'm leaning on the everlasting arms

If I can see it, then I can do it
If I just believe it, there's nothing to it

[Chorus:]
I believe I can fly
I believe I can touch the sky
I think about it every night and day
Spread my wings and fly away
I believe I can soar
I see me running through that open door
I believe I can fly
I believe I can fly
I believe I can fly

See I was on the verge of breaking down
Sometimes silence can seem so loud
There are miracles in life I must achieve
But first I know it starts inside of me, oh

If I can see it, then I can be it
If I just believe it, there's nothing to it

[Chorus]

Hey, cause I believe in me, oh

If I can see it, then I can do it (I can do it)
If I just believe it, there's nothing to it

[Chorus]

Hey, if I just spread my wings
I can fly
I can fly
I can fly, hey
If I just spread my wings
I can fly-eye-eye-eye
Hum, fly-eye-eye

Dubaibanker's picture

Another Peter Pan story....

Uber seems to be not able to grasp the reality that fighting Govt in any part of the world, when sexual cases keep rising on a daily basis while Uber is essentially an idea which is breaking established laws for public transportation almost in every country except in the mind of the CEO.

Delhi Traffic Police Hailing Uber, Ola Cabs to Impound Them on Arrival

When will Uber collapse...is anyone's guess...

Timeline: How Uber’s valuation went from $60M in 2011 to a rumored $50B this month

0b1knob's picture

1984 (movie 1984) Obrien explains how the law of gravity does not exist.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ziJyikws0ug

"You are one of the chosen."

pods's picture

Somehow I think he has a copy of MJ's Thriller somewhere.

pods

RockRiver's picture

wow, just wow.....

Kobe Beef's picture

Anyone who has had the displeasure of dealing with an East Asian power structure knows exactly what is going on here. Sure, they make great pets, but give them any power whatsoever and they turn into puffed-up petty tyrants.

Kuroda is talking shit, Japanese-style. As long as he keeps destroying Japan, his Internationale Owners have his back. Everybody else has no power at all, and Kuroda is literally rubbing their noses in it. You must understand the cultural context.

So translated: Janet Yellen went before an esteemed economics panel and said "Yo mama smokes crack rock."

centerline's picture

Yeah, yeah, yeah.  Tell me again it is all about confidence.  Eventually hard facts like demographics and energy show up and piss in those cheerios.  Guess what's for breakfast today?

NoDebt's picture

I think even Paul Krugman's dick went limp on that comment.

TungstenBars's picture

When did it become policy for Western officials to be man children?

PleasedToMeatYou's picture
BOJ's Kuroda "Believes He Should Fly"

I agree.  I think all Central Bankers, IMF and World Bank execs and apparachniks, and BIS employees should fly as frequently as possible - ideally on planes occupied by leaders of third world countries not aligned with western corporatocratic interests.  ...with nail guns for carry-ons. 

Ruffmuff's picture

Or just fly off of buildings, every last chance they get.

Robert3620's picture

The Willy Coyote moment when these assholes figure out they really can not fly is going to be epic.

 

As a side note maybe this helps to explain the banker deaths by jumping out windows. 

PleasedToMeatYou's picture

Actually, that's Wile E. Coyote. 

Willy Coyote is Hitlery's husband. 

Bryan's picture

When politicians are out of answers that sound intelligent, all they have left is to make stuff up... like having good thoughts and berieving he could fry.

DavidC's picture

With this and Obama reckoning he's the first (or was it best?) Jewish President the USA has had I know TPTB have lost it completely.

DavidC

carbonmutant's picture

Bankers think they're living on Fantasy Island...

Temporalist's picture

Does this mean Yellen or Krugman is Tattoo?

replaceme's picture

He may be right:  with all the radiation he's been exposed to not only could he fly, he might be able to shoot fire out of his lizard mouth.

replaceme's picture

He may be right:  with all the radiation he's been exposed to not only could he fly, he might be able to shoot fire out of his lizard mouth.

Tall Tom's picture

Oh no...There goes Tokyo, go go Godzilla...

 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ybfsxip8KEM

 

I guess he is frying...on Fukushima Radiation...

 

I can fry...I can fry...

Tinky's picture

My favorite related quote (mmm...tasty – thanks ZH!):

BOJ officials used to be cautious about purchasing ETFs, worried that it could distort market activities and put the central bank’s own financial health at risk. But under pressure from politicians following the global financial crisis, the bank changed its stance in late 2010.

“We led the cows to water, but they didn’t drink it, even though we told them it tasted good,” Miyako Suda, who was a board member then, wrote in a 2014 book discussing monetary easing at that time. “So we thought we should drink it ourselves, showing them it was tasty.”

Byte Me's picture

Would a suggestion to "Fly into the sun" be racist?

If it is - EAT ME.

(ed - tyop)

khakuda's picture

That is hilarious.  Why quote someone credible like Einstein or Churchill when we have so may cartoon heroes upon whom to draw?  When it all falls apart over there he can conjur up some Scooby Doo, "We would have gotten away with it, too, if it weren't for you meddling kids."

aliki's picture

bernanke: "subprime is contained"

kuroda wants to fly

draghi freaks out when a hot chick jumps-up on his table at a press conference

THESE are the people you want us to trust?

we're f'd

kowalli's picture

what about new POTUS killary?

upWising's picture

Another relfection on BoJ Board member's comment:

“We led the cows to water, but they didn’t drink it, even though we told them it tasted good,” Miyako Suda, who was a board member then, wrote in a 2014 book discussing monetary easing at that time. “So we thought we should drink it ourselves, showing them it was tasty.”

You can lead a horse (or a cow in this case) to water, but you can't make him (or her) drink.  You CAN hold the animal's head under water until the bubbles stop.  [I suppose you could hold a Bible while you are waiting for the bubbles.]  You can hold your OWN head under water for a long time, until a cow steps on your head.  Game OVer.

chrsn's picture

And Larry Ellison is hard at work finding a cure for death.

Glass Seagull's picture

 

 

so says the zero that's high on flakka.

SillySalesmanQuestion's picture

Give us all here at the Hedge some happy thoughts of bankers and central bankers in particular, by flying off the highest building you can find...

kaa1016's picture

I fucking swear, I can't take any more of this shit from these people. It hasn't paid to short this market to this point, but let me say this. I congratulate, in advance, whoever absolutely kills it shorting this market when this whole house of cards collapses, because there is no way that it won't. The only question is when.

Tinky's picture

Yeah...might not be so easy to get paid this time around.

PleasedToMeatYou's picture

Yeah, that whole counterparty thing is the real light at the end of the tunnel, and it's goin' whooo whooooo! 

 

Lady Jessica's picture

each time central banks have been confronted with a wide range of problems, they have overcome the problems by conceiving new solutions

 

So Hilsenrath's now writing Kuroda's speeches, right?


mantrid's picture

"each time central banks have been confronted with a wide range of problems, they have overcome the problems by conceiving new solutions. "

 

then what are those piles of debt doing around?

they've never fixed anything, only kicked the can

 

Dumgoy's picture

These fuckers are crazy.

with the king's picture

You just can't make this stuff up

Jethro's picture

You're supposed to sprinkle fairy dust, not snort it.  Central Bankers these days....

Mat Cauthon's picture

Perhaps Kuroda should remember his Ayn Rand -

"You can ignore reality but you cannot ignore the consequences of ignoring reality"

 

 

Dovie'andi se tovya sagain (It's time to toss the dice)

Got Karatbars?

Gold Eyed Cat's picture

No no!  These are magic beans.

 

Prince Charming will appear like any minute now!

 

And all you need to stop that horrible witch is just a little bucket of water.

 

However if these things do not materialize,  it will be completely your own fault for not believing hard enough and trusting in my every word.  Do not doubt or question me!  I'm just trying to help you.

Banker Buster's picture

It's his family I feel sorry for, I mean the man clocks in drunk!