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Experts Agree - Best Option Now: Keep America As Comfortable As Possible Till End

Tyler Durden's picture




 

Saying there were no other options remaining and that continued intervention would only prolong the nation’s suffering, experts concluded Tuesday that the best course of action is to keep the United States as comfortable as possible until the end.

According to those familiar with its condition, the country’s long, painful decline over the past several decades has made it clear that the most compassionate choice at this juncture is to do whatever is possible to ensure America is at ease during its last moments.

“We need to accept the fact that the U.S. doesn’t have long—simply helping it pass that time in comfort is the humane thing to do,” said economist Danielle Martin, speaking on behalf of a large group of experts ranging from sociologists and historians to lawmakers and environmentalists, all of whom confirmed they had “done everything [they] could.” “Attempting to stabilize the country in its current enfeebled state would not only be extremely expensive, but it would also cause unnecessary agony as it enters this final stage. With how hard the nation is struggling to perform even basic functions, letting it meet its end naturally is the merciful decision here.”

Added Martin: “At the end of the day, it’s nearly 240 years old—what can you reasonably expect?”

Others agreed with Martin, saying that, with America having gradually become a weak, almost unrecognizable shadow of its former self, the priority now should be ensuring that it is given whatever palliative support it needs and using the remaining time to put the nation’s affairs in order.

Sources also emphasized that citizens who have not already begun to emotionally prepare themselves for the country’s demise should begin to do so.

“At a time like this, it’s completely understandable to wish for some kind of 11th-hour miracle, but expecting the U.S. to somehow magically return to the way it was in its prime isn’t healthy or realistic,” said Georgetown University researcher Andrew Fischer, who later stressed that just because the nation still has “the occasional good day,” this should not cause anyone to get their hopes up for a sudden recovery. “It’s important to manage expectations and realize that sometime very soon, we’re all going to have to say goodbye.”

“We just need to remember all the good times we had,” Fischer continued. “Like the moon landing—that was really nice, wasn’t it?”

Many of those with close ties to the United States said they were having difficulty coming to terms with the country’s imminent passing, but that letting it go peacefully was ultimately for the best.

“At one point, I would’ve done anything if it meant having America around for just a little longer, but I can’t watch it slowly waste away like this anymore,” said Tampa, FL resident Kathy Muniz, adding that it “breaks [her] heart” when she sees how hard the U.S. struggles to put on a brave face and pretend that everything is fine. “The kindest thing now is to just do what we can to keep the nation’s spirits up while nature takes its course.”

“Really, I think any country in America’s position would want the same,” Muniz added.

*  *  *

Source: The Onion

 

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Thu, 06/11/2015 - 09:45 | 6186058 mobius8curve
mobius8curve's picture

You mean there are people out there who still believe we landed on the moon?

Thu, 06/11/2015 - 10:04 | 6186141 NoWayJose
NoWayJose's picture

I am sure we went to the moon and orbited around it. That part is too easy to track by us and the Russians. Now as to actually placing two astronauts onto the surface, in a craft with paper thin walls, and no redundant systems in case of problems....

Thu, 06/11/2015 - 10:26 | 6186215 ThaBigPerm
ThaBigPerm's picture

The Onion is so phoning it in these days, as I've said for a while.  They now basically take what is actually going on, mix a few names up, and call it "satire".  Such as their article on the NYPD's "Stop and Tickle" policy.  smh.

Thu, 06/11/2015 - 10:43 | 6186287 Cognitive Dissonance
Cognitive Dissonance's picture

They shoot horses, don't they?

Thu, 06/11/2015 - 12:06 | 6186591 KnuckleDragger-X
KnuckleDragger-X's picture

National hospice, ran by the lowest bidder of course......

Thu, 06/11/2015 - 12:35 | 6186696 freewolf7
freewolf7's picture

Final stages of grief for those watching. On deck, the 97% who can look forward to rage and disbelief. That's gonna leave a mark.

Thu, 06/11/2015 - 12:42 | 6186732 Future Jim
Future Jim's picture

how can this article say America has no hope when Obama is the POTUS?! That's just racist!

Thu, 06/11/2015 - 13:46 | 6187011 bdc63
bdc63's picture

In lieu of flower, please send your soul.

Thu, 06/11/2015 - 12:44 | 6186748 Future Jim
Future Jim's picture

No hope?! There are many simple solutions, such as:

 

 


US Federal Debt – Problem Solved

The American government has been spending trillions of dollars on programs it had no Constitutional authority to create, and such unconstitutional expenditures exceed the amount of the federal debt. Therefore,

The federal debt is unconstitutional.

Not only are most government programs themselves unconstitutional, but the debt used to pay for these unconstitutional programs, which were created by previous taxpayers, is paid for by future taxpayers. Therefore,

The federal debt is Taxation without Representation.

Taxation without representation is also unconstitutional. In fact, it is the reason America seceded from the British empire.

Given that the US Constitution is pretty simple, then anyone who loaned money to the US government should have known that they were loaning money to a fraudulent and illegitimate enterprise and thus should not expect repayment.

Of course, there would be a huge consequence – no one would be willing to loan money to the US government again until it started obeying the Constitution, which would be ...

Good!

Thu, 06/11/2015 - 15:07 | 6187151 Billy Bob101
Billy Bob101's picture

@Future Jim      You nailed it!  Something I have been thinking about too.  Whenever someone is acting on behalf of another, they must prove authority or the transaction is not legitimate.  If Fred gives John a contract to take care of his yard, John cannot sell the house or take out a 2nd loan on it without specific authority.  The counter party's remedy would be to sue John for misrepresentation. 

Similarly, the Constitution gives Congress no authority to delegate it's authority.  All laws that have been made without authority should be void and any money borrowed for that purpose should be forfeit.

The Constitution gives the Feds no authority over education, or many of the other responsibilities they have taken over in the name of the "general welfare." 

 

Thu, 06/11/2015 - 10:26 | 6186218 swass
swass's picture

Oh, we did go to the moon.  At enormous cost to the tax payer and for purposes of "national pride."  As states in the article, at least we can reflect on that and thing "that was nice."  

Thu, 06/11/2015 - 10:47 | 6186305 kchrisc
kchrisc's picture

The moon rover gives the whole moon shit show away.
Mankind has never ventured beyond the Van Allen Belts.

Liberty is a demand. Tyranny is submission..

"One small step for a man, one giant hoax for mankind."

Thu, 06/11/2015 - 11:20 | 6186389 jaap
jaap's picture

The moon rover by it's size didn't fit in the moon lander or LM.

And those batteries were great. In minus a lot, it could keep driving for up to 3 days. Tesla, eat your heart out.

Thu, 06/11/2015 - 11:27 | 6186437 NotGrokkingIt
NotGrokkingIt's picture

I was curious about your statement so I did a quick google and found these interesting pictures.

http://www.collectspace.com/ubb/Forum29/HTML/000731.html

Thu, 06/11/2015 - 11:53 | 6186502 kchrisc
kchrisc's picture

The rover is revealing in the videos of it, videos from it, and, as you say, it didn't fit, and the videos of them trying to explain how it does fit are hilarious.

However, it is the weight that gives it away. It supposedly weighed 463 pounds on Earth. It take 9 times the weight of an object in fuel to get that object into orbit. I.e. it takes 9 pounds of fuel to get 1 pound into orbit. So, just to reach Earth orbit they would have needed 4,200 additional pounds of fuel, plus the weight of the rover.

Going to the moon required at least four rocket/fuel burns, only one in Earth's full gravity, to land on the moon. One to reach orbit, one to leave orbit, one to slow and orbit the moon, and lastly the descent to the moon's surface. All of these would have required a lot more fuel, and weight because of the rover.

There were no provisions within the specifications of the rockets or vehicles for many thousands of pounds of extra fuel and a rover.

Liberty is a demand. Tyranny is submission..

 

The other thing about the rover is the batteries. Ignore the 1960's battery tech of the time, anything in full sunlight on the moon is immediately heated to over 260 degrees F. With no atmosphere to convect heat away, the only way to cool off is to radiate, like a heat lamp, that heat away. In the shade, that radiating of heat away increases dramatically, and things cool very quickly. Imagine batteries functioning in those kind of conditions over the many operating hours and long distances we are supposed to believe they did.

Thu, 06/11/2015 - 11:21 | 6186419 Blythes Master
Blythes Master's picture

+1

We went to the moon with 1960's technology, lol, yeah surrrre we did.

Nothing more than propaganda to smite the Soviets.

Thu, 06/11/2015 - 10:08 | 6186146 ZH Snob
ZH Snob's picture

uncle sam is in hospis, oblivious to his moribund state. 

why not open up the morphine drip?

Thu, 06/11/2015 - 10:11 | 6186165 nuubee
nuubee's picture

Because we haven't yet signed away power of attorney. Can't put the guy on morphine when questions over power are still in the air.

Thu, 06/11/2015 - 10:19 | 6186184 Antifaschistische
Antifaschistische's picture

No DNR means the FED can just keep the vent going

Thu, 06/11/2015 - 10:35 | 6186249 General Decline
General Decline's picture

Don't worry. Uncle Sam has a team of the best Israeli doctors tending to him. I'm sure he'll be just fine.

Thu, 06/11/2015 - 10:47 | 6186303 CPL
CPL's picture

After they wake up in the hotel bathtub full of ice and notice their liver and kidney's are gone.

Thu, 06/11/2015 - 10:59 | 6186337 Fun Facts
Fun Facts's picture

“Goyim were born only to serve us. Without that, they have no place in the world – only to serve the People of Israel,”

“In Israel, death has no dominion over them… With gentiles, it will be like any person – they need to die, but [God] will give them longevity.

Why? Imagine that one’s donkey would die, they’d lose their money. This is his servant… That’s why he gets a long life, to work well for this Jew.

Why are gentiles needed? They will work, they will plow, they will reap. We will sit like an effendi and eat,”

- Rabbi Ovadia Yosef October-18-2010 former chief rabbi of Israel, personal friend of Netanyahoo.

Thu, 06/11/2015 - 10:13 | 6186158 JustObserving
JustObserving's picture

For those interested in the Apollo missions, there is always the highly entertaining series of articles by David McGowan called "Wagging the Moondoggie":

http://www.davesweb.cnchost.com/Apollo11.html

Thu, 06/11/2015 - 11:45 | 6186493 rubiconsolutions
rubiconsolutions's picture

Here's the problem: most terminal patients don't have thousands of nuclear weapons they can use. America's hubris could very well usher in a worldwide conflagration when those in power realize the end is near and desperation sets in. I don't think this thing ends with a whimper but a big 'ol bang.

Thu, 06/11/2015 - 16:59 | 6187822 robertsgt40
robertsgt40's picture

To get to the moon you have to go thru the Van Allen Belt.  Not unlike camping around fukushima 

Thu, 06/11/2015 - 09:45 | 6186059 JustObserving
JustObserving's picture
Best Option Now: Keep America As Comfortable As Possible Till End

When a Deep State runs your country, when your debt and unfunded liabilities exceed $1,400,000 per taxpayer, when you have the highest incarceration rate in the world, when 1 in 2 children are predicted to be born autistic by 2020, when the NSA spies on everybody including Supreme Court, Congress and White House, when your police kill at 70 times the rate of other first world countries, it is time to hit the rest button and start all over again.

Thu, 06/11/2015 - 09:48 | 6186067 LawsofPhysics
LawsofPhysics's picture

Please nigga, the criminals in charge are not going to indict themselves.

Thu, 06/11/2015 - 09:57 | 6186113 usednabused
usednabused's picture

Nooo they sure as fuck won't. But maybe they'll have to flee to somewhere else on the planet someday.

Thu, 06/11/2015 - 10:36 | 6186252 MonetaryApostate
MonetaryApostate's picture

LawsofPhysics +1000

ZERO DOUBT!

Thu, 06/11/2015 - 10:48 | 6186307 Panafrican Funk...
Panafrican Funktron Robot's picture

You almost had it right there Laws, it's "nigga please".

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MYpnINrZM_M

Thu, 06/11/2015 - 09:48 | 6186070 IridiumRebel
IridiumRebel's picture

Amen.

Thu, 06/11/2015 - 10:04 | 6186140 Jonas Parker
Jonas Parker's picture

Source: "The Onion"???

Thu, 06/11/2015 - 10:09 | 6186155 Mr. Magoo
Mr. Magoo's picture

If I did not know this was an onion article it is almost believable. R.I.P USSA

Thu, 06/11/2015 - 10:25 | 6186210 Antifaschistische
Antifaschistische's picture

What's really amazing, is that it's so bad in most of the world, people will still sell their souls to get to America.   What is sad, is that many of them are fighting to come here for what America was, with no awareness of the coming tsunami.   They're just so happy to come here because they can send valuable dollars back to their torn up homeland...or even more embarassing, they want to send back a pair of New Balance shoes or a Nike T Shirt

Thu, 06/11/2015 - 10:29 | 6186224 JustObserving
JustObserving's picture
Two things are infinite: the universe and human stupidity; and I'm not sure about the universe.”

Einstein

Thu, 06/11/2015 - 11:30 | 6186451 SofaPapa
SofaPapa's picture

For the first few years, America was different.  It was the first country in centuries to be run according to the ideal of letting people be and having a government that was highly limited in its ability to interfere.  

Even if that ideal didn't last (plenty of theories as to "tipping point moments"), it is a strong enough dream that people will hold on to it until absolutely proven otherwise.  

The currency will be the end of the dream.  Until the dollar reaches the point of no return, the dream will survive.  What's sad is that almost all of those who dream to come here for freedom (relative to what they've known, it's still not bad) have no clue how close we are to dollar rejection.  And then the game ends.

On the other hand, will they be worse off than where they came from originally?  Perhaps not.  At least they tried.

Thu, 06/11/2015 - 09:47 | 6186062 LawsofPhysics
LawsofPhysics's picture

Until the end of what exactly?  The end of financial "products", bullshit paper promises and FRAUD?!?!?

SOUNDS FUCKING AWESOME TO ME!!!!!!!!!!!

Thu, 06/11/2015 - 10:10 | 6186160 ZH Snob
ZH Snob's picture

you bet, LOP.  good riddance to the whole house of cards.  da soona, da betta.

Thu, 06/11/2015 - 11:21 | 6186414 froze25
froze25's picture

We need a constitutional re-boot to the Federal Gov't.  My guess to a point in time prior to the Federal reserve act and the Emergency War Powers act of 1933.  Sprinkle in a restoration of States rights and let the recovery proceed.

Thu, 06/11/2015 - 10:37 | 6186257 MonetaryApostate
MonetaryApostate's picture

Be careful what you wish for, one world digital banking may not be what you agreed upon....

(And the war on cash & push for digital currency / tracking is something you should take to heart)

Fri, 06/12/2015 - 01:08 | 6189131 TeethVillage88s
TeethVillage88s's picture

Nothing New Under the Sun.

I have a strong feeling this has been done to other people and other Nations before.

Maybe the Tower of Babel, Sodom, and Gomorrah (Did they have a lot of Bankers & Lawyers, well there is your answer).

Thu, 06/11/2015 - 09:47 | 6186063 I woke up
I woke up's picture

Tytler cycle

Thu, 06/11/2015 - 09:47 | 6186064 Buckaroo Banzai
Buckaroo Banzai's picture

Thanks Obama!

Thu, 06/11/2015 - 10:38 | 6186258 NotApplicable
NotApplicable's picture

*Soros

Thu, 06/11/2015 - 09:48 | 6186069 Depression is Coming
Depression is Coming's picture

Nation of short term oriented power hungry retards who don't deserve to breathe our oxygen caused this. "Keep the USSA as comfy as possible" is the reason we are still here.

RIP THE FUCKING BANDAID OFF AND WATCH IT BLEED

Thu, 06/11/2015 - 09:52 | 6186071 buzzsaw99
buzzsaw99's picture

...said Georgetown University researcher Andrew Fischer

too realistic. Fischer, another great brain, Fischer, lulz

Humperdinck! Humperdinck! Humperdinck! [/Valerie, Miracle Max' wife, aka, not a witch]

Thu, 06/11/2015 - 09:49 | 6186073 Fishthatlived
Fishthatlived's picture

Environmentalists? Really?

Thu, 06/11/2015 - 09:50 | 6186075 NoDebt
NoDebt's picture

God bless The Onion.  I wish them comfort in their final days, too, as reality slowly catches up with their satire and puts them out of business.

Thu, 06/11/2015 - 09:52 | 6186077 lawyer4anarchists
lawyer4anarchists's picture

You have to love the Onion. Sad thing is it is actually probably full of more truth than "news" organizations.  The fact is the entire show has been a lie since the beginning. http://www.thetruthaboutthelaw.com/the-first-amendment-was-dead-on-arrival/

Thu, 06/11/2015 - 09:58 | 6186120 Coke and Hookers
Coke and Hookers's picture

This is probably the most accurate take on the state of the country I've seen. When surrealism rules, satire appears to be the best way to describe it in a realistic fashion.

Thu, 06/11/2015 - 11:14 | 6186383 Renfield
Renfield's picture

That article you linked is an eye-opener. Great website.

Thu, 06/11/2015 - 11:50 | 6186510 SofaPapa
SofaPapa's picture

I second that.  The text of the sedition act is a stunner.  Makes you wonder why they even bothered ratifying the Bill of Rights in the first place.

Thu, 06/11/2015 - 13:08 | 6186865 Socratic Dog
Socratic Dog's picture

Agree, that's a very fucked up article.  At first I thought "well, the speech has to be false, truth is a defence, so no problem".  Then I read further and thought "what a fuckin' stupid thing to say" (what I said, not what the article said).

Bottom line, as it says, citizen has to put everything he has on the line to defend himself against the system; system puts absolutely nothing on the line.  Yet the citizen is supposed to be paramount?  That pretty well sums up where we are.

We are so fucked....

Thu, 06/11/2015 - 13:38 | 6186983 rwe2late
rwe2late's picture

In practice, "freedom" was defined in 1776-1789

as the freedom to have slaves,

to take land from the natives, and for rich men to rule over the poor "mob".

 

Little essentially seems changed as evidenced by such as 

TPP-TTIP, insatiable full-spectrum-dominance seeking militarism,

and the asserted right of TBTF corporations to buy politicians.

Thu, 06/11/2015 - 09:52 | 6186083 unplugged
unplugged's picture

I'm going to celebrate the demise of the marxist financial system and fascist govt - and the return of The Constitution.  The only demise that is going to happen is the demise of all these marxist/fascist motherfuckers, and the demise of their fiat currency by which they weild their power.  Good riddance fuckers! Fuck off and die.  Gold & silver will return as money.

Thu, 06/11/2015 - 10:41 | 6186275 NotApplicable
NotApplicable's picture

You sir, sound delusional.

There is no back. There is only through.

What comes next will be determined by who's left standing, and TPTB are busy right now kicking our legs out from under us.

IOW, 99% of us will be wholly dependent on whatever strongman of the 1% emerges.

Same as it ever was.

Thu, 06/11/2015 - 12:25 | 6186655 bbq on whitehou...
bbq on whitehouse lawn's picture

The federal government will try to pass on the debt to the states the states will go through the same drama as Greece is with their debt.
A even bigger show then any before it. The States will get back their constitutional power and a new constitution will be born.

Thu, 06/11/2015 - 09:52 | 6186084 nah
nah's picture

Guns fix everything

Thu, 06/11/2015 - 09:56 | 6186107 NoWayJose
NoWayJose's picture

Actually, the government being unable to pay its employees to hold their guns will fix everything...

Thu, 06/11/2015 - 13:13 | 6186885 Socratic Dog
Socratic Dog's picture

That's why homeland security bought 3 billion rounds.  10 for every man woman and child in the USSA.

Whichever way this goes, it will be a bloodbath.  Quite easy for an outside power to step in when the locals are focussed on killing eachother.

I guess one reaps what one sows.  We have earned it.

Thu, 06/11/2015 - 09:53 | 6186088 Silenus
Silenus's picture

Doctors call this palliative care. They know the patient is dying and their goal is now to reduce suffering on the way out.

Thu, 06/11/2015 - 10:17 | 6186174 Kirk2NCC1701
Kirk2NCC1701's picture

While still running the meter on the hospital bill.

They're so selfless.  Such do-gooders.

"Tell me again where it hurts. Here?  How about... here?"

Thu, 06/11/2015 - 09:53 | 6186090 That's all Folks
That's all Folks's picture

ass rape doesn't hurt, as you as you keep the citizen "comfortable"

Thu, 06/11/2015 - 09:53 | 6186092 stant
stant's picture

Well I guess I'd better get my confederate currency out of that picture frame and put it somewhere safe

Thu, 06/11/2015 - 09:54 | 6186094 Seasmoke
Seasmoke's picture

Pull it. 

Thu, 06/11/2015 - 09:55 | 6186105 CHC
CHC's picture

Will 'they' just give us a needle and let us slowly go to forever sleep or will it be nothing short of blunt force trauma to the head?  How?!?

Thu, 06/11/2015 - 10:01 | 6186131 usednabused
usednabused's picture

Like we do a hog on the farm. Wrap a chain around one hind leg, lift him high up in the air with a loader, then stick a knife in his throat....

Thu, 06/11/2015 - 10:43 | 6186286 NotApplicable
NotApplicable's picture

"I've seen the needle and the damage done.

A little part of it in everyone.

But every junkie's like a setting sun."

Thu, 06/11/2015 - 09:57 | 6186114 Lady Jessica
Lady Jessica's picture

<------euthanise the rentier

<------euthanise the nation

Thu, 06/11/2015 - 09:58 | 6186118 Thenardier
Thenardier's picture

Over? Was it over when the Germans bombed Pearl Harbor?

 

John Blutarsky

 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=q7vtWB4owdE

Thu, 06/11/2015 - 10:00 | 6186125 Matthew John
Matthew John's picture

America, this is our moment. This is our time. Our time to turn the page on the policies of the past. Our time to bring new energy and new ideas to the challenges we face. Our time to offer a new direction for the country we love.

 

The journey will be difficult. The road will be long. I face this challenge with profound humility, and knowledge of my own limitations. But I also face it with limitless faith in the capacity of the American people. Because if we are willing to work for it, and fight for it, and believe in it, then I am absolutely certain that generations from now, we will be able to look back and tell our children that this was the moment when we began to provide care for the sick and good jobs to the jobless; this was the moment when the rise of the oceans began to slow and our planet began to heal; this was the moment when we ended a war and secured our nation and restored our image as the last, best hope on Earth. This was the moment - this was the time - when we came together to remake this great nation so that it may always reflect our very best selves, and our highest ideals. Thank you, God Bless you, and may God Bless the United States of America.

Thu, 06/11/2015 - 10:11 | 6186163 NoDebt
NoDebt's picture

Barack Hussein Obama.  Mmm, mmm, mmm.

Thu, 06/11/2015 - 10:17 | 6186172 Matthew John
Matthew John's picture

Confidence-man, Barack H. Obama,  Messiah.... not just of the United States, but of the entire planet

Thu, 06/11/2015 - 10:40 | 6186267 ChanceIs
ChanceIs's picture

What a piece of work is Hussein Obama.  I can never make sense of what that poofter says.  Lots of words with no meaning.  Poms-poms.  Go team go.  What does "Hope and change" mean?  What does, "if I had a son, he'd look liooke Trayvon" mean?  (I sure know what it implies - I am gonna nail a white boy so the blacks will vote for in in Florida so i won't loose the recount like Al Gore did.)

When I first heard those words, I thought they might have come from Winston Churchill.  Bu...bu...bu..but....Obama sent back the Chuchill bust.  Funny him using Uncle Tom rhetoric.

Thu, 06/11/2015 - 11:47 | 6186501 Caleb Abell
Caleb Abell's picture

"I can never make sense of what that poofter says."

 

Actually, he's easy to understand.  When he says something, it means he will do the opposite.  That's what pathological liars do.

Thu, 06/11/2015 - 10:00 | 6186127 basho
basho's picture

tick tock

Thu, 06/11/2015 - 10:03 | 6186137 g3h
g3h's picture

Source: The Onion? Am I still in my dreams?

Thu, 06/11/2015 - 10:10 | 6186161 MATA HAIRY
MATA HAIRY's picture

no, I am in your dreams...or should I say, nightmares...

Thu, 06/11/2015 - 18:55 | 6188208 StychoKiller
StychoKiller's picture

What's Lance doing these days? :>D

Thu, 06/11/2015 - 10:05 | 6186143 frank H
frank H's picture

I have a solution! a majical solution!

i have written articles on it and done TV interview.

https://mises.ca/posts/articles/a-solution-to-the-worlds-economic-problems/

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-Q8q2hfIPAA

Thu, 06/11/2015 - 10:18 | 6186183 Renov8
Renov8's picture

Interesting read......I am surprised this concept has not been rehashed or even mentioned in other circles........

 

Why is this not a viable option today, in your opinion?    Why have no other economists brought this forward as as alternative to banking today?

Thu, 06/11/2015 - 10:08 | 6186152 I am a Man I am...
I am a Man I am Forty's picture

“We just need to remember all the good times we had,” Fischer continued. “Like the moon landing—that was really nice, wasn’t it?”

Funny shit right there

Thu, 06/11/2015 - 10:19 | 6186188 NoWayJose
NoWayJose's picture

Actually, America has already collapsed, it's just that we are laying on our deathbed while hooked to the life support respirator called fiat currency, fractional banking, and debt. All prior empires collapsed when they overspent their supply of silver and gold - something we achieved in the 1970's. Like all empires, we will follow the same chaotic collapse followed by an attempt to rebuild. My fear is that past empires had a far better conservative model to follow for that rebuilding. Today, I fear that any new model will end up being controlled by the same people that drove us to ruin, with the same policies that failed.

Thu, 06/11/2015 - 10:23 | 6186202 jarana
jarana's picture

Anyone who gives a speech with a white coat, if it is not a hot girl, deserves serious corrective.

Even if he / she has just been cutting onions.

 

Thu, 06/11/2015 - 10:30 | 6186229 ChanceIs
ChanceIs's picture

What a total piece of crap.

Will the sun not rise?  Should I just lay back and take whatever comes?

The founders didn't care for King George III.  They rebelled and had bloody feet in the cold snow at Valley Forge.  Did they know the price they were going to pay before they rebelled?  Of course not.

I hear that when the Vandals, Goths, VisaGoths, whomever overran Rome, some of the formerly wealthy citizens stood in front  of their houses with palms outwards and allowed/asked to be stricken down by the invaders w/o a fight.

America has a lot of assets.  Who will own them after the "restructuring?"  I can assure that if you do nothing - as the article suggests - you won't won't end up with much.  Can the banksters really feel secure in their gated communities?  Will barter take over.  You all should pay attention to Catherine Austin Fitts.  I think she gets it.

Thu, 06/11/2015 - 10:31 | 6186238 juggalo1
juggalo1's picture

You did see that the source was "The Onion" right?  They are mocking your collapse talks.  I'm just surprised you qould quote a satirical article whose tone is close to the talk that goes on on this page every day.

Thu, 06/11/2015 - 10:36 | 6186248 samsara
samsara's picture

I'd recommend reading this week's John Michael Greer installment about our collapse...

 The Era of Dissolution

 

The Era of Breakdown

The Era of Response

The Era of Impact

The Era of Pretense 

 Read in reverse order bottom to top. 

Thu, 06/11/2015 - 11:21 | 6186401 Renfield
Renfield's picture

Enjoying that article so far, thanx for the link. I had to come back to pass on this gem in it:

<<To some extent, of course, that’s because a great many of the people who talk about collapse don’t actually believe that it’s going to happen. That lack of belief stands out most clearly in the rhetorical roles assigned to collapse in so much of modern thinking. People who actually believe that a disaster is imminent generally put a lot of time and effort into getting out of its way in one way or another; it’s those who treat it as a scarecrow to elicit predictable emotional reactions from other people, or from themselves, who never quite manage to walk their talk.>>

I like that differentiation between 'walking' the collapse, and just talking it. One of the best features of Zero Hedge is the comments section and its trove of references.

Thu, 06/11/2015 - 11:37 | 6186473 samsara
samsara's picture

I would highly recommend reading them from the 1st article on.

I think he is one of the best writers out there.  His research, knowledge of history and his perspective are great.

Thu, 06/11/2015 - 12:08 | 6186598 Renfield
Renfield's picture

Came back to say the article was well worth the read. I will read the others in order, since this one was so good.

<<The process that’s going on around us is the decline and fall of industrial civilization. Everything we think of as normal and natural, modern and progressive, solid and inescapable is going to melt away into nothingness in the years, decades, and centuries ahead, to be replaced first by the very different but predictable institutions of a dark age, and then by the new and wholly unfamiliar forms of the successor societies of the far future. There’s nothing inevitable about the way we do things in today’s industrial world; our political arrangements, our economic practices, our social instutions, our cultural habits, our sciences and our technologies all unfold from industrial civilization’s distinctive and profoundly idiosyncratic worldview.  So does the central flaw in the entire baroque edifice, our lethally muddleheaded inability to understand our inescapable dependence on the biosphere that supports our lives. All that is going away in the time before us—but it won’t go away suddenly, or all at once.>>

The decline and fall of industrial civilisation. I had not thought of the collapse this way, and will enjoy thinking about the historical context he gives over the next few days.

I'm going to see if I can find the series of articles he refers to, the 'portrait of the post-collapse world' from 'last year'. Can't tell if "Dark Age America" is the title of the series or the website he first posted them to. I'm now very interested in his speculations on what our post-collapse society will look like.

Thu, 06/11/2015 - 15:08 | 6187327 samsara
samsara's picture

It was good.   The Collapse of the Industrial Civilization is what it is.  and a slow, ugly process it will be.

 

I have been reading him for a few years.  He posts an article every thursday on http://www.resilience.org/ .

 

The links I gave are his site.  The bottom of each page takes you to his previous one.  So,  you can walk backwards thru them at the bottom of each page.

Oh, here's a good one from Feb. 

As Night Closes In

 

Some of the ones you were looking for....

 

Bright Were The Halls Then

Dark Age America: A Bitter Legacy

This one is really good.  Dark Age America: The Senility of the Elites

 

 

 

Thu, 06/11/2015 - 15:18 | 6187373 Renfield
Renfield's picture

Merci bien!

Thu, 06/11/2015 - 10:44 | 6186290 WTFUD
WTFUD's picture

Sounds like an Obituary . . . . and not a good one.

Thu, 06/11/2015 - 10:46 | 6186297 MedTechEntrepreneur
MedTechEntrepreneur's picture

Satire or not, the Great USA is in fact in Hospice care, being given massive doses of morphine.

Thu, 06/11/2015 - 11:03 | 6186351 iClaudius
iClaudius's picture

Will any turn up to the funeral? Hope the US has insurance to cover the costs, wouldn't want the remains lying around, it would be a public health hazard.

 

Thu, 06/11/2015 - 11:21 | 6186380 Billy Bob101
Billy Bob101's picture

I think some people are misinterpreting what the author has to say.  He is not suggesting that you should do nothing to protect yourself, your family and friends.  Of course you should do whatever you need to do.  He is saying that it is too late to save the current government. At this point, the US is ungovernable except by repressive authoritarian rule.  The author is saying it is time to let it pass and move on. 

Thu, 06/11/2015 - 11:16 | 6186391 Who was that ma...
Who was that masked man's picture

If this were true, drugs would be everywhere and easily available to everyone.

Oh wait.

Thu, 06/11/2015 - 11:19 | 6186404 NotGrokkingIt
NotGrokkingIt's picture

It's funny cause it's true.

Thu, 06/11/2015 - 11:32 | 6186459 Ghostdog
Ghostdog's picture

Hospice care for the USA

Thu, 06/11/2015 - 11:40 | 6186482 HenryHall
HenryHall's picture

America can be self sufficient and approach its traditional lifestyle.

All that is needed is to withdraw from world affairs into isolationism, close 99% of foreign miltary bases, bring all the soldier boys home, default on foreign owned debt and live on what America produces.

The result would be high prices, quality American made goods, high wages and booming industry. Few computer games, and much home baked apple pies in homes everyone could afford.

Of course it won't happen, it would be good for 99.9% of the general population and for 0% of the fantastically wealthy decision makers.

Thu, 06/11/2015 - 11:43 | 6186487 22winmag
22winmag's picture

The moon landing may have been a "feel good" event, but that doesn't mean it actually happened outside of a movie set.

Thu, 06/11/2015 - 11:44 | 6186488 rejected
rejected's picture

"America having gradually become a weak, almost unrecognizable shadow of its former self,"

Amerikans seem to think running around the globe intimidating, bombing, Droning, enabling Coups, and assorted other barbaric acts are a sign of strength when in reality it is simply bullying. 

Strength comes from a moral and right standpoint no one can dispute. Sorry,,, Lying, Cheating, Robbing, Defrauding, Assaulting, Torture, and Killing do not fit within those guidelines and patriotism is NOT defending the actions of a country "no matter what"

Thu, 06/11/2015 - 11:48 | 6186504 Nue
Nue's picture

The life cycle of a nation

...from bondage to spiritual faith; from spiritual faith to great courage; from courage to liberty; from liberty to abundance; from abundance to complacency; from complacency to apathy; from apathy to dependency; from dependency back again into bondage. -Alexander Tyler, 1750

Thu, 06/11/2015 - 11:50 | 6186507 WTFUD
WTFUD's picture

It's pitiful watching this complete lack of leadership . . and yet the sham that is the EU allow themselves to be led like a dog on a short leash by an incompetent USSofA administration. Fuck America and Fuck the EU. You're not fit to serve. Oh yes Fuck Joe Public too for his indifference.

Thu, 06/11/2015 - 11:59 | 6186514 Billy Bob101
Billy Bob101's picture

The Constitution (1789) was written for a small homogeneous population that was educated, intelligent, informed and moral.  Thomas Jefferson envisioned a revolution every generation that would keep things straight - but that hasn't happened.  The US has become a cartoon, a very dangerous cartoon.  George Washington said "Government is not reason, it is not eloquence — it is force. Like fire it is a dangerous servant and a fearful master; never for a moment should it be left to irresponsible action." 

Thu, 06/11/2015 - 12:07 | 6186588 rejected
rejected's picture

And Big George was the first President to sign a unconstitutional law creating the first Central Bank,,, and the first to send Federal troops to put down a tax rebellion.

All these guys are 'gentlemen' and make 'eloquent' statements.... 

It's their actions that need watched,,, not the pretty words they say. 240 years now we have been buying their shit.

Think it's time we should reconsider?                Maybe?

Thu, 06/11/2015 - 13:03 | 6186695 Billy Bob101
Billy Bob101's picture

@Rejected      Can you name any other person who has lived up to all they said?  The founding fathers may not have been perfect by modern standards, but who else is?  After the revolution was won, George Washington was offered to be the king of the American colonies, but he turned it down.  King George III is said to have said that made him (Washington) the greatest man in the world.  That's good enough for me.

Thu, 06/11/2015 - 12:02 | 6186575 zeek
zeek's picture

IMO, linking to this garbage article, with no context, and no sources diminshes the respect I hold for ZH...

Thu, 06/11/2015 - 12:14 | 6186617 Renfield
Renfield's picture

<<Source: The Onion>> is at the bottom of the article.

Thu, 06/11/2015 - 12:16 | 6186626 Wahooo
Wahooo's picture

A nation with bedsores, laying in hospice, leaking bile and rambling through a haze of morphine about the good old days. Do Not Resuscitate.

Thu, 06/11/2015 - 12:22 | 6186640 Froman
Froman's picture

So now ZH is posting stories from "The Onion" as real news items...interesting...must be a slow news day or they are following the MSMs lead.....

http://www.theonion.com/article/experts-say-best-option-now-keeping-nati...

Thu, 06/11/2015 - 12:24 | 6186647 Rusputin
Rusputin's picture

The patient also seems to have developed severe dementia...

He blames Russia for the 2014 Kiev putsch and keeps repeating over and over again that Russia is an aggressor state along with China, dispite Uncle Sam having invaded 70 nations since he was born. He's always blaming others for his actions, which is very sad to see, clinical hypocracy syndrome, as it is called, is an awful condition for a once respected and proud man.

Thu, 06/11/2015 - 12:37 | 6186706 the grateful un...
the grateful unemployed's picture

i would like if it was warmer, my heating bill would go down, i am older now, and i get cold easy. i would like it to be warm all the time, can you do something about that?

Thu, 06/11/2015 - 14:04 | 6187083 bid the soldier...
bid the soldiers shoot's picture

Might I suggest you find a not too stinky older lady and a double sleeping bag?

Thu, 06/11/2015 - 12:38 | 6186711 Doug
Doug's picture

It didn't have to be this way.  Way to go, Alan Greenspan.

"We finally really did it.  You Maniacs! You blew it up! Ah, damn you! God damn you all to hell!"

Fri, 06/12/2015 - 11:08 | 6190159 Rollo57
Rollo57's picture

Excellent piece here; http://t.co/86juhYlcF4

Thu, 06/11/2015 - 12:39 | 6186714 Neochrome
Neochrome's picture

It's kind of too close to truth...

Thu, 06/11/2015 - 13:07 | 6186860 lasvegaspersona
lasvegaspersona's picture

We just need more leeches.

Thu, 06/11/2015 - 14:01 | 6187072 bid the soldier...
bid the soldiers shoot's picture

Hospital spokesman, Dr. Henry Jekyll, reported that the patient was resting comfortably until it suddenly mutated into a giant Hydra and devoured the entire Maternity Wing and the adjacent valet parking structure.

The good news is that it avoided the hospital cafeteria, which is featuring creamed chipped beef for dinner tonight.

Thu, 06/11/2015 - 17:23 | 6187919 roadhazard
roadhazard's picture

He means keep the rich as comfortable as possible.

Fri, 06/12/2015 - 00:55 | 6189107 TeethVillage88s
TeethVillage88s's picture

Yeah. We all know they have been using Propaganda and Military Technology against us since at least 1913.

- So lets list some more of the Psy-Ops

--------------------------------------------
--- Counter Intelligence Operations ---
--------------------------------------------

Most of what US Federal Government does is spin, propaganda, and Intelligence Operations against it's Citizens.

1913 - Federal Reserve Act,
1914 - World War I, United States Committee on Public Information (W. Wilson, George Creel)
1939 - World War II, Writers' War Board (WWB)(F.D. Roosevelt, Elmer Davis)
1945 - Cold War Propaganda, FBI COINTELPRO (L.B Johnson, J. Edgar Hoover)
1964 - Gulf of Tonkin,
1964 - Vietnam War,
1968 - US Discovers that some Wealthy People don't pay tax due to Tax Law Loopholes
1979 - Intelligence Finding Signed by Jimmy Carter,
1980 - G.H.W. Bush CIA Director becomes US VICE President,
1982 - War on Drugs (R. Reagan)
1985 - Iran Contra Affair,
1989 - Invasion of Panama,
1990 - Persian Gulf War,
1992 - Energy Policy Act (H.W. Bush)
1994 - NAFTA, Deregulation of Trade, 3 Nations (W. Clinton)
1994 - Free Trade Begins to Devastate US Manufacturing Jobs,
1996 - Energy Deregulation (W. Clinton, followed by ENRON Scandal)
1996 - Telecommunications Act (W. Clinton, cross ownership)
1998 - Clinton's Kosovo War (over 60 Days)
1998 - Citicorp & Travelers Insurance Merger
1999 - Gramm–Leach–Bliley Act (Phil Gramm, W. Clinton, followed by 2008 Financial Crisis)
1999 - bombing campaign in Kosovo (W. Clinton, over 60 days)
2000 - Commodity Futures Modernization Act of 2000 (P. Gramm, W. Clinton, derivatives)
2001 - Afghanistan War
2001 - Subprime Home sales & Financial Derivatives Take Off,
2002 - McCain–Feingold Act (G.W. Bush, Campaign Finance, soft money unlimited)
2003 - Iraq War, Fake Evidence of WMD
2005 - Energy Policy Act (G.W. Bush, subsidies, excluded clean air Water acts)
2005 - Bankruptcy Abuse Prevention and Consumer Protection Act of 2005 (BAPCPA).
2005 - CAFTA-DR Ratified, 2006 El Salvador, Honduras, Nicaragua, Guatemala
2005 - US Military Spending Exponential by any measure
2005 - US Housing Market Bubble Tops out in October
2008 - After Presidential Election Financial Crisis is Declared out of the Blue
2008 - 2012 Private Email Servers to avoid Audit (B. Obama, H. Clinton)
2008 - Liberal Darling B. Obama becomes War Monger, Rights taker, and Elevates Drone Assassinations "Obama Doctrine"
2008 - 2014 QE & LIRP/ZIRP (B. Bernanke, J. Yellen, B Obama)
2009 - 2014 Continuing Resolutions in which Congress gives up Budget Powers
2009 - Affordable Care Act (ACA) (B. Obama)
2010 - Citizens United v. Federal Election Commission (money is free speech for corps)
2011 - US combat in Libya (B Obama, over 60 days)
2014 - lift ban on crude oil exports (B Obama, Commodities Deregulation)
2015 - TPP, TISA, TTIP Trade Deals

--------------------------------------------
--- Counter Intelligence Operations ---
--------------------------------------------

Fri, 06/12/2015 - 11:06 | 6190153 Rollo57
Rollo57's picture

You missed out all those 'False Flags' that went hand-in-glove with quite a lot of those 'opereations'!

1912 Titanic

1915 Lusitania

1941 Pearl Harbour. [They may not have committed, but knew it was coming and could have warned]

1963 JFK Assassination

There may have been others before 9/11, but we also had Waco, Sandy Hook, Oklahomah, 7/7,  Boston Bombing, Charlie Hedbro, Germanwings.

Fri, 06/12/2015 - 00:27 | 6189067 TeethVillage88s
TeethVillage88s's picture

This is a Psy-Op to Let the Wealthy Escape Blame.

- We know who the Winners are, Lawyers, Bankers, Politicians, MIC, Big Pharma, Big Ag, Big Oil & Gas

-------------------------------------------------------------------
- Counter-Intelligence Operations & Psy-Ops by our Leaders -
-------------------------------------------------------------------

Let me get this Straight, you want to fold everything, cancel SS, Medical Assistance Plans, EBT Cards, and say the Corporation known as the UNITED STATES OF AMERICAN and the FEDERAL RESERVE are hereby Dissolved instead of:

- Control the Federal Budget, and Pass Whole Budgets again
- Put TBTF Bankers in Jail
- Break Up Monopolies through Anti-Trust Law
- Place Limits on Corporate Overhead & Compensation for Executives
- Fix Financial Ratings Organizations, how they are Compensated & By Whom, and to Rate Corporations by their Overhead

- Hold Public & Private Executives Responsible for their Jobs, Put them in Jail, and Damage their Future as a Leader

- Force Executives to have assigned Responsibility, so that they can't claim too many people were involved to say who made the Decisions

- Simplify, Streamline, and Standardize, Laws, Regulations, Procedures, Forms, Financial Instruments, Court Systems, use Guidelines & Benchmarks in Courts to move Cases forward, Disallow Wealthy using unlimited funds in defense or in Suing smaller competitors, Don't let courts be used by Wealthy to win over smaller businesses & Households, got to a VAT Tax, a Flat Tax, or a Fair Tax with few Tax Credits or Loopholes

- Fix the Tread of Wealth moving Off-shore, and Money being looted from Industry and Corporations and their Investors, Stakeholders, Recognize People as Stakeholders more important that Upper Management or Corporations as Entities

- Fix the Problem with Money & Gift Giving in the USA to influence Officials, Judges, Doctors, Testing Laboratories, Universities

- End Campaign Contributions, Lobbying of US Congress, No Gift Giving at all, no Lunches, no Plane Rides, No Conferences, no Hotels or Resorts or free Meetings at Resorts

-------------------------------------------------------------------
- Counter-Intelligence Operations & Psy-Ops by our Leaders -
-------------------------------------------------------------------

Recent News Reports 50% of our Medical Studies and Science Studies are crap science, partly due to Corruption.

USA = Greece

Stop Acting like everyone doesn't know what the problems are.

Do NOT follow this link or you will be banned from the site!