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LeWD TeN DoLLaR NoTe...
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Watch them put Eleanor Roosevelt on the damn thing.
Yeesh, that Moochelle gets uglier every time I see her.
I vote for Barbara Bush. She already looks a lot like George Washington with lipstick. Easy one to create.
Laverne Cox...black, transgender, and highly suggestive last name. Perfect for the USeless banana republic peso.
I CLEARLY see Janet Yellen's signature. Damn acid flashbacks.
But what about 88881380?
Prophetic William,
and no doubt to be paid for by the last of the taxpayers, like everything else in he/she/its existence.
this post will mark a milestone in my grand campaign of mischief.
not but a few days past janus turned four on ZH; and though for most of you this day came and went without any pomp and even less circumstance, it was nevertheless an auspicious event in infamy's annals -- and will from hindsight be evaluated as especially auspicious. because a full olympiad completed on the Hedge is one thing, but this measure of time was marked with another event to complement its import.
janus has officially retired from the cab. do i have mixed emotions? sure. obviously, for the sake of heroics, it was important for me to see the cab-driving thing to its envisioned conclusion. in the world of heroics, i reckon you can keep your head in the clouds so long as you keep your feet rooted firmly on the ground. the cab business in hip cities like boston has been decimated by uber, and so the vision had to be adapted to accommodate the changes in technology. and so it is that i'll be ubering out this phase of the mischief.
for the record, janus retired as an olde school boston hackney on the sixth day of the sixth month at right about the sixth hour, in the Acceptable Year of Our Lord, 2015. no shit, that actually is true. after concluding my shift, i was chillin with my bar-tender buddy talkin about how he was my last fare ever, then noticed the time (5:55), thought about the date and then chuckled when i realized the number of the month. we marked the occasion with a few photos (from the #33 cab -- again, no shit; that was my cab's #). janus didn't plan it that way; but since i get such a kick outta spookin the rubes, how could i resist but to add this part from the story of janus' hackney retirement?
(cummon Hedgers, let me have my fun without gettin bent out of shape)
okay, well, there was one other fare after that. and i conduct attention to her because her memory still loiters prominently in my mind. and, trust me, there've been many memorable characters in the back of my cab. there was just something particularly special about this pick-up. janus at every moment had a sense that something was going on. it even started strangely; it was less a fare and more the pounce of chance, the spring of a rare surprise. twas a very strange event imposing in me a permanent residual of 'something', a stirring fare that's left me thinking. i can't say anything for sure...but i'll say this much -- janus has a sense for people and what's inside them, and this girl (whoever she was -- wink-wink) was someone special. look, janus has picked up some of the world's most important people, some have wiki pages, some no one's ever heard of...but, for whatever reason, a high proportion of important people have somehow found their way into #1-3-6's (that was my driver #) back seat; 'weird' shit just keeps happening to me, bitchez.
i don't ask questions and just roll with it.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_yHrEykOGpo
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qrdpliMfoAM
this change has meant traumatic and immediate upheavals in my life. janus has his first new car. a prius. yup, you read that right. and wanna know what's weird? i love the thing. i mean, for what it is, it's an incredibly well designed car. even so, it's strange for someone accustomed to a growling V-8s; without hearing the pulse of cams pushed by pistons, its disconcerting interpreting changes in acceleration while your auto stays silent.
this also means i'll be owning my first 'smart-phone'. okay, i have to admit, when i first heard that an 'android' would be arriving 'over-night', i was terror-stricken and broke-out in a cold sweat. oh-no, thought janus, this must be one of those nephelium they keep talking about! but the good folks at verizon took their time and assured janus that there's nothing to worry about; it turns out the robot army is not yet prepared to decimate humanity ('yet'). this is just the brand name of my 'smart-phone' to operate my uber app.
don't get me wrong, janus is under no illusions; going from cab driver to uber driver in no way relieves my obligation to continue saving the world and keeping the forces of evil in abeyance. no-sir-ree. in fact, it's fair to say that my resolve is as firm as ever and my spirits are once again buoyed by the prospects of heroic high-jinx.
for a while there, janus was all down in the mouth. didn't know what to do. tptb remain convinced that 'racism' is the biggest problem facing the planet followed closely by carbon. janus thinks the biggest problem is tptb followed closely by the racism they call 'equality'. we remain at loggerheads.
and look, when the whole world grows accustomed to your saving it on a regular and ongoing basis, you start to feel the pressure. and as a hero keeping evil in abeyance, you put a lot of that pressure on yourself. you not only want to be professional in constancy and dependability, it's also important to stay creative; lest you lose passion. sometimes it can be overwhelming.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9QGMz9beIL0
in pursuit of Truth, all alternatives must be falsified. janus has been considering this as he attempts to improvise the methods of his heroics and adapt them to his new circumstances. and there is every chance anger has disproportionately tinctured my thinking. for the longest time, driving a cab has yeilded so little in wages that meals became rare and small. in addition, my back has hurt a bit of late. well, it's been a bit worse than that. i hate to complain...makes me feel like a wuss. but if i were to describe the pain, i'd have to say it felt as if an army of nephelium androids armed with razor maces were 24/7 savaging my shoulder/neck region with the vindictive ferocity of scorned witches...and that's on a good day.
anyway, with respect to falsifiability and this notion of equality and unity and whatnot, janus is all in. i'm going to save the world with love and such-like.
so here's the thing, in a few weeks time i'm going to take the uber unit over to the vineyard. janus will be workin the surges, wearin sandals, shades, shorts, takin breaks to tan, rakin in fat sacks of cash from the tourists, gettin foot massages from the 18 year old daughters of this world's movers & shakers, eating THREE meals a day...chillin like a villain.
truly, janus' summer of luv:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hTuPbJLqFKI
but there's a strategic and tactical purpose to this love strategy. this ain't just some bull-shit hippy scheme designed to bed ivy-league co-eds; no, the fate of the free world hangs in the balance, and the cause of world peace has called janus into action.
obviously, i'll have established a firm beach-head on the vineyard long before the obamas arrive for ramadan...ahem, i mean their 'vacation'. in the weeks and months before the first family arrives, janus will have cemented his reputation among the local neer-do-wells and misfits. in no time flat, i will coronate myself their sovereign.
so there's logistics and preparatory tactics.
when i was a teenage boy, i initiated a study of teenage girls. janus has this knack for knowing when they're weak to mischief. and unless my thoughtful conclusions on the mischief of girls in their late teens is totally misinformed (and it isn't) then the looks on the face of this oldest obama teen tell me two things 1) she's definitely over 18, i'm so certain of it i wouldn't even bother checking. 2) this girl is a trouble-maker. i can spot em a mile away.
the best way to impress a girl who's definitely over 18 and curious as to 'trouble' is to demonstrate the respect other trouble-makers, neer-do-wells and misfits have for your person. as was said, janus will have by then firmly established his reputation among the vineyard's under-belly, and by virtue of my aristocratic standing among them will set her 18+ year old heart aswoon.
now, this is true for all girls definitely over 18; but it's particularly true for such girls with powerful fathers; and as the king of the island's misfits, my mission will be complete before it begins.
okay, for the sake of space and to skip over all the made-for-tv drama of it all, let's just say that this mission ends with the first family gettin the first ever baby-daddy in amorican history. some of you may ask, "janus, what if they trace it back and she was 17 years and 364 days at the time of the incident?" i have two words for you: international waters. and if you persist in this line of questioning, i have two more words for you: presidential pardon. i've thought it over, i'm willing to make the sacrifice and i willingly put my country and this world's interests above my own. i'm doing this for amorica; for unity; for peace; for justice.
i will of course insist that the child be named "jefferson davis janus"; and will ceaselessly schedule frequent photo-ops in the rose garden for a cooing nation.
we amoricans will be one, big happy family. janus and the obamas will lead the way! i'll park a replica of the general lee on the west lawn. set some goats out to pasture. start some auto-mobile-repair projects...probably should order some cinder blocks now, barry. i've already got a great idea where to install a pond.
let freedom ring. etc.
{for legal purposes: janus is a totally fictional character. this piece has been for amusement purposes only. nothing of the sort would ever happen. i don't even own a boat.}
see y'all on the vineyard!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XMUxM4CAAFU
janus
You don't even own a boat? Suspicious, very suspicious, especially after you have been around here on ZH for quite a time ...
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hpM8FjO4Vko
What about Transjenner?
naw, naw, good nigrows need 'em a hunned dollah beel'n'a gold toof...den ya'll be nigrow rich...
Bob Dylan - Cold Irons Bound
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9hO-83CIVKM&index=8&list=PLknidvzcLCRGi9...
.
"i'm beginning to hear voices
and there's no one around. .."b.d.
great song on a great album
I would almost nominate Grace Hopper. But then I think COBOL, and then I erase that entire thought process from my mind.
So this is transracial and transgender to sort of cover all the bases?
E PLURIBUS FOOL 'EM - Thank you!
this is funny? entertaining? enlightening? or just plain ugly in every sense
before i write whatever i later decide, janus has a serious submission for this madness. if the treasury is really going through with this, then i in all eanestness submit Helen Keller for consideration.
what that woman accomplished was nothing short of miraculous. i'm mean, legitimate genius. forging a novel mode of communication with the outside world utililizing only touch to transmit a new vocabulary that systematically conveyed her impressions, which were limited only to touch? no rivals in american womanhood.
simply amazing.
even janus doffs the hat to Helen Keller.
but that's enough earnestness for one day, and it just began six minutes ago.
janus
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XW7Z2bOJfmE
Classic Albums - The Band (HD)
.
Rockin' Chair - The Band (The Band 8 of 12)
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Hg-ILjqbKT4
dear janus,
have you ever wondered why there are
dead presidents on the federal reserve
notes? what is the message for the mess
age? what is the meaning and value in it?
ah ha. it might be a mistake to disgrace
someone's reputation, one such as hellen keller
or clara barton or rosemary kenndy in such
a manner? the queen of england has no such
qualm, but real people, i don't know?
seems to me the "person" depicted, their
memory or reputation, must be essentially and
entirely fictionalized and dehumanized, fraudulently
mythologized and crafted in a historical context
before that image is suitable for mass abuse and
exploitation by the scam artists of the future.
the faces on the money should be essentially
worthless to the using public. virtually unknown.
you can't have people respecting or valuing the
portraits in their pockets, it would destroy the
liquidity and "money velocity", no?
here, an alternate and contrary proposition,
but closer to the truth.
.
i think rosemary kennedy is still the best for the
ten, for reasons previously stated. if race is that
important go ahead and put her in black face,
even better.
you make some decent points...and, sadly, i suppose you're right.
if it were to legitimately honor a woman who'd accomplished something legitimately honorable, Helen Keller would win; but, you've nailed it, it'll go to the nominee with the hippest narrative associateable to the coolest social crusade.
Hellen Keller was from alabama and white. two strikes too many.
and, in all sincerity, if it's to reflect the values amorica expressly promotes in it minority communities, it should be the image of this country's first ghetto-momma lottery winner, as she buys all 9 of her chillins a pair of jordans.
and, look, i'm sure this kind of talk pisses people off; but they should be pissed off. this is exactly what progressives and the black community's leadership have wrought; and whether it was by design to create a permanently dependent underclass or an accident of over-wrought victimization (or a little of both), the results are the same. there are obscene problems in this country's black community; and more of the same and the inflamation of tensions is not the answer. but that's what's being implemented.
i just don't know what choice i have but to mock it to shame.
janus
there is much to admire in helen keller. so too laura bridgman who, in her lifetime, was said to be the most famous living woman in the english speaking world after queen victoria.
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Laura_Bridgman
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sic_transit_gloria_mundi
And Brooksly Borne
those pesky emigrating e's.
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Brooksley_Born
My vote would have to go for the first woman president-Hillary. Although for the life of me if they're going cashless anyway, why bother?
I saw the announcement about 5 days ago about putting a woman on the $10 bill, and the first thought I had (due to the Kikeness of Jackass Lew) was 'Harriet Tubman' (both a WOMAN, AND 'BLACK' AND having some shit to do with the 'Civil War' at the same time! TRIPLE-plus GOOD!). Images of that negro soft-socialist woman 'Mariah Angeleau' (SPELLING CHECK, please) danced in my head...
NO! Instead, WB7 thinks it's Micheal 'the Wookie' Obama (or Barry 'Choom-Boi' Soetoro; really hard to tell then apart!). Either way, bitch needs some 'Jeri-curl' for her brillo-head.
There was a song, that once used to be well-known, about a 'cock-sucking, mother-fucking, two-balled bitch', way back in the Shady '80s. I always thought of Hillary, or Madeline Albright, when I used to listen to this one, but WB has kindly pointed out that this might have been referring to the song 'Take A Walk (on the wild side)'. The Hollywood film 'Thelma And Louise' made a refrence to this song; but due to copyright restrictions, couldn't use the exact quote; and changed it for the movie: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=goHfjv9AwKI
BILLARY will soon be the 2016 'selected resident'; and to those who question my statements: WHAT DIFFERENCE DOES IT MAKE? Jeb might win, but EITHER way, we get a BUSH in the WHITE HOUSE!
MY vote is for Bruce (or Brucilla, or whatever he/she is now calling itself) Jenner for 'resident' (and occupier of the FEDRES 10-script Fiat Currency Paper Thingie). Mr. Yellen would be PROUD! I'm an equal-ass opportunity user... a stiff dick has no conscience... If I don't respect them NOW, what makes them think I'll respect them in the morning?
chelsea manning
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Chelsea_Manning
Betsy Ross?
My vote goes to
BLYTHE MASTERS
Mr. Yelling I suggest
Soon as worthless as the swine upon it. Trans-human trash institutionalized.
so i asked a young gentleman while dining out
with my bride, "whom would you suggest be "immortalized"
ON THE NEW TEN spot"? i didn't phrase it exactly like that
but you get the idea. after a few minutes he came
back with water and some lemon slices and said
"clara barton, she started the american red cross."
.
these kids today, you have to love 'em.
https://en.wikipedia.org/?title=Clara_Barton
.
but, i still think it will be rosemary kennedy.
My suggestion for the $10 'lady'...
Betty Page
Absolutely! Those were the days ...
How about Olive Oil?
http://www.jewornotjew.com/img/people/o/olive_oyl.jpg
"Nutless."
Nice.
Anything to get away from British Agent Hamilton- to hell with a woman, how about Aaron Burr?
everyone would say the fed are a bunch
of flip floppers and front runners.
Highlands
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BY_zmvi8HyI&index=11&list=PLknidvzcLCRGi...
No One uses a Ten anyway.
The GODFATHER of HOPE and CHANGE and PEACE.
:-) What if there were series of these, with all of our favorites, starting with... Ms. Woodrow Wilson?
Harriet Obama...lol...fitting. How bout one with Rachel Dolezal?
Even more so ;-)
Han shot first.
I was sure it was gonna be chewbacka. Still great work.
Naaa, Their saving Mooches face for the Statue of Liberty.....
You read my mind William. I was going to bring up the new ten dollar note. Keep them coming because I might need to buy one.;-)
one might note that the current resident on the ten, alexander hamilton, was the founding father most likely to share african blood with the obamanable snowman.
http://madamenoire.com/481003/historical-figures-you-didnt-know-were-bla...