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Best. Job. Ever: Coty CEO Paid $1.8 Million To Quit Before He Even Started
For all the drivelly, politically correct platitudes about how a great job is about emotional gratification, self-fulfillment and, of course, benefits such as a matching 401(k) and 2 weeks of paid vacation, the best job is the one where the least amount of effort generates the greatest compensation at the smallest amount of personal and career risk. In that case no job will ever match that of Coty CEO Elio Leoni Sceti, or rather non-CEO. Because whereas Sceti was scheduled to become Coty's CEO in about a week, decided not to take the job.
The punchline, however, is that despite never actually having set foot in the company's Empire State Building headquarters, or even working one day for his new employer, Coty is contractually bound to pay Leoni Sceti a severance (or is that non-signing bonus) of $1.8 million, as well as buying back all the shares the buyer's remorseful CEO had purchased.
The company said in a news release that Leoni Sceti had "reconsidered" and will not join Coty. It did not disclose a reason for that decision. Coty said its chairman, Bart Becht, will remain interim CEO.
The company said the severance payment, which is equal to one year's salary, was part of the employment agreement Leoni Sceti signed with Coty in April. The company will also pay about $55,000 to buy back preferred stock he had purchased.
Leoni Sceti, 49, is the former CEO of frozen foods maker Iglo Foods, the company behind the Birds Eye brand. Investment fund Nomad Holdings bought Iglo earlier this month and Leoni Sceti was replaced as its CEO.
And from the press release:
Peter Harf, Director and Chairman of the Remuneration and Nomination Committee of Coty commented, “After further discussion, the Coty Board of Directors determined that leadership continuity is critical in ensuring the continued success of Coty’s strategy implementation. We certainly understand Elio’s decision not to join Coty as planned, thank him for his professionalism throughout this process and we wish him all the best in his future endeavors.”
Sadly, had Coty worked at least one hour, he would have singlehandedly led to an explosive surge in the BLS' lagging average hourly earnings category, and at $1.8 million/hour would, statistically mean US wages would have gone through the roof all thanks to one guy.
Alas, not even the BLS is equipped to resolve a situation where someone was paid $1.8 million for zero hours of work. Unless, of course, someone decides to double seasonally adjust ridiculous US CEO compensation as well...
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hey, what's abot 15$ for minimun wage? xD
They're better off without him. Any CEO who has a contract that pays him less than $10Mil for not working can't be worth having.
I promise any company that I am fully qualified to quit any job for 1.8 million the same day I'm hired. I'll even give a couple of reasons so HR is covered, got my day planned as follows.
1) Show up in shorts and a wife beater first day. Might be clean, might have a little curry and ketchup on it. Announce press conference.
2) Pinch every ass on the way to the press conference.
3) Fly ORI in.
4) ORI and I will do an epic Guitar Rap battle of the state of the company.
5) Drop the mic and announce I just hired ORI as my replacement.
6) Fly the birds, drop the confetti ball, titties everywhere.
7) Stock goes up 200% same day.
fuck yeah.
Why does this lead me to think of other recent popular news of Jenner and Dooziel?
'Sunptink's wronk, Luchi!
Nope, nuffin bout the Trade Bills in the MSM, eh?
0 / 1.8 mil = infinity productivity rate
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His teeth look like they cost at least $1.8 million
Probably been smashed in more than once, I agree.
Looks like Donnie Osmond fucked his sister after all.
http://www.nealehaynes.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/04/donny-osmondsmall.jpg
Ahhhhhh....the evidence is....underwhelming.
Momma always said, if you can't say something nice...
Hmmm. Now that you mention it...
Momma always said, if you can't say something nice..
say nothing at all.
Well, mom, you were fucking wrong. The time to say something is when things are clearly corrupt. Mom, stick to making peanut butter and jelly sandwiches and giving Dad a handjob every 2 weeks.
My wife told me if I can't say anything bad about another woman I shouldn't say anything at all.
At a dinner party, as the guests were walking into the dining room, Dorothy Parker turned to the young man next to her and said, "If you can't say anything nice about people, please sit next to me."
Dorothy Parker was both a writer and a critic, part of the legendary Algonquin Round Table.
My favorite Parker, " This novel should not be tossed lightly aside. It should be hurled with great force."
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hw-I7jtzuCk
If I had a mother it would have been her.
There is more to this story.
Unlike with Obozo, sounds like someone finally got around to checking the Dude's credentials and background.
Simon says, eject my golden parachute.
/sarc
What's Coty.
One of many companies that are spinning their wheels as they drive headlong into a giant brick wall.
S'not one of those little white fluffy cigarettes with wicks they have in ladies' washrooms?
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0bilaSB_tAE
Gently insert the fluffy cigarette into your vagina with your thumb and middle finger.
What imbecile negotiated that?
NOT a bad gig if you can get it. I'm impressed.
Don't let a quick cup of Starbucks Coffee go cold.
Standard pension for a gubbermint drone, and they never have to show up for work either.
(6/17/15) Coty shares are exploding on a report that it won an auction for two Procter & Gamble businesses.
Shares rose more than 18% in morning trading on Tuesday following the report in The New York Post on Monday.
Coty’s is a beauty products company that distributes products for brands include Calvin Klein, Adidas, and David Beckham’s fragrances.
This deal, reportedly worth up to $US12 billion, will expand its portfolio, the Post reported.
http://www.businessinsider.com.au/coty-auction-for-procter-and-gamble-bu...
Now there ya' go, guys, David Beckham’s fragrance
Oh fuck me
Wankers
I see Lilliputians all over Beckham, milking all his glands for all his bodily fluids.
Or maybe a machine...
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9sjMNnFVYvU
Lots of Sociopaths playing around with way too much play money.
Not to worry... it'll never work.
Sounds like a variation of greenmail.
Peter Harf on the compensation committee?
Any relation to State Dept sorority bimbo Marie Harf?
.... sorority bimbo ... Now that's some serious funny.
They could pay me half as much not to work there and I'd be perfectly happy.
CEO discovers "weird trick" to make a cool million working from home.
Enough money for lifetime teeth bleaching.
Back in the late 90s when I worked at T they did a similar deal. Outgoing CEO hand picked his replacement, had him basically standing by for about a year, then they both walked at basically the same time. The hand picked replacement received around 80M and never worked a day
Compensation committee, and board of directors need to "jump" out of an upper story window
Any board member approving such a ridiculous contract should be fired. Compliant board members rarely serve shareholders' interests. In a case like this, regulators should have the right to intervene.
And some people believe the game is not rigged. Unbelievable.