There Is One 'Small' Problem With The Crowdfunded Greek Bailout Campaign

Tyler Durden's picture

In the latest example that there are generous, perhaps even noble (assuming the whole thing isn't one vast scam like other "charities" such as those run by former and future US presidents) people, still left, Crowdfunding site Indiegogo has released a crowd sourced "Greek Bailout Fund" which in just 1 day has already managed to raise around €100,000 from over 6,300 contributors.

 

The reason for the campaign, in its own words: "All this dithering over Greece is getting boring. European ministers flexing their muscles and posturing over whether they can help the Greek people of not. Why don't we the people just sort it instead?

The European Union is home to 503 million people, if we all just chip in a few Euro then we can get Greece sorted and hopefully get them back on track soon. Easy.

 

So come on, order a Feta and Olive salad, maybe wash it down with an Ouzo or glass of Assyrtiko greek wine and let's sort this shit out.

 

Pledge €3 and get a postcard sent from Greece of Alex Tsipras, the Greek Prime Minister. We'll get them made and posted in Greece and give a boost to some local printers and post offices.

 

Pledge €6 and get a greek Feta and Olive salad

 

Pledge €10 and get a small bottle of Ouzo sent to you

 

Pledge €25 and get a bottle of Greek wine

Noble, generous... and quite idiotic, for one simple reason - the math is horribly wrong.

Here is what the campaign says is its target: "€1.6bn is what the Greeks need."

Actually, no.

€1.6 billion is what Greece needs to repay obligations that are already due to the IMF as of June 30 or else Greece will be kicked out of its current bailout program.

Here is the real list of what the Greeks "need" in order to get a full bailout: a complete repayment of their total outstanding debt to the Troika as well as to remaining private holdout creditors:

The total: €275 billion.

And what is even worse: not one cent of the €1.6 billion already due, nor one cent of the €275 billion in debt due until 2057 will make its way to the Greek people.

In fact, the only people who will see any money from this campaign would be bankers, the IMF, the ECB, and the unelected bureaucrats of the European Commission.

For those who really want to make a donation to Greece, don't repay their debt, but start a charity which unlike Hillary Clinton does not keep 90% of contributions as "operating costs", and distribute it direct to the Greek people.

We hear dropping money by drones is legal now.

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Looney's picture

The “giant sucking sound” coming out of Brussels is the sound of Jean-Claude Juncker’s anus gasping for air. ;-)

Looney

SickDollar's picture

Time for the helicopters BITCHEZ

 

XAU XAG's picture

Here is what the campaign says is its target: "€1.6bn is what the Greeks need."

 

Greece could assassinate alot of bankers (creditors) and politicians with that amount.

TeamDepends's picture

Brother, could you spare a trillion dimes?

SafelyGraze's picture

crowdfunding!

who could have predicted *that* black swan event!

individuals contribute $0.3T for greece, 2T italy spain portugal, 4T france ..

the endogenous fiat disappears

oops

no commerce

velocity of "money" = 0

deflation by a factor of 5

voluntary dis-savings, crowdfunded into nations and on to creditors

liquidation of bank deposits in order to redeem european countries

hilarity ensues

 

El Vaquero's picture

 

And what is even worse: not one cent of the €1.6 billion already due, nor one cent of the €275 billion in debt due until 2057 will make its way to the Greek people.

In fact, the only people who will see any money from this campaign would be bankers, the IMF, the ECB, and the unelected bureaucrats of the European Commission.

IMF/ECB recruiting video:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sU3iKvGb4lI

TheRedScourge's picture

I'm glad not one cent of it will reach its way to the Greek people. When you incur a debt, you are supposed to pay it back, not take the money you would have used to pay it back and spend it on yourself instead.

Felino De Gattis's picture

And what is even worse: not one cent of the €1.6 billion already due, nor one cent of the €275 billion in debt due until 2057 will make its way to the Greek people.

Is this supposed to be a joke? The €275 billion have already made their way to Greece in the past, if not to the Greek people, at least to the governments elected by the Greek people. What sense does it make to imply now that those €275 billion should go to the Greek people? Either you are crazy or you have a bad opinion of your readers.

disabledvet's picture

Perhaps the Greek Government could post an island as collateral?

I mean seriously...
THE PROBLEM IS NOT THE MONEY BUT THE CURRENCY IT IS PAID IN.

GREECE IS NOT IN DEFAULT IT IS INSOLVENT.

It is an interesting question to ask...AND ANSWER...."is this true of the entire European Union?"

Handful of Dust's picture

1.6 Billion euros will feed the Bankers for a week or two.

 

That's all.

disabledvet's picture

Won't even feed Wall Street for the first five minutes of trading tomorrow at the 9:30 AM!!!

And that "money furnace" denominates everything in DOLARES.

So GOOD LUCK EUROLANDER!

BarkingCat's picture

That kind if a thinking out of the box could put you in a box.

MisterMousePotato's picture

Well, actually, there is at least one other small problem; viz., by my rough calculations, they have thus far raised only about 0.00625% of their goal of 1.6 billion. For just this one tranche. Due yesterday.

Somehow, I don't think this is going to be as easy as they think it's going to be. Especially if they're giving away 'free' bottles of Greek wine every time someone gives a couple bucks.

TahoeBilly2012's picture

This is likely a better chance of success than most crowdfunding deals...

knukles's picture

No.  Seriously.  I'll get to my contribution in just a few after I answer this fax from Nigeria.

 

XAU XAG's picture

knukles

 

Sacre Bleu!

 

Nigeria is high tech now..................e-mail and text

 

If it's a fax.............................postive scam!   Someone porporting to be from Nigeria

knukles's picture

202 area code isn't Nigeria?

Arnold's picture

312

I get opportunity calls from there all the time.

This is it's picture

Hmmmmm ZHers, should we crowdfund the Greek yogurt? We could make the amount seeing how many of us are here.

disabledvet's picture

They grow many olives in Texas so that won't work....

Hmmm, what to what to do...

I've got it! Close the Banks and the Stock Exchange! Now nobody has anything!

Hahahahahaha! Take that scrimper and saver! "That's why we REALLY have elections!"

WestVillageIdiot's picture

Don't go confusing people with math.  That is not kind.  Go up to the average millennial and ask them what 9 times 6 equals.  Then time them to see how long it takes for them to reach for their phone.  Pay with cash at a convenience store and watch the horrified look when the cashier thinks about the awfulness of figuring out change. 

Every Euro give a couple of Euros.  503,000,000 x 2 = a whopping 1 Billion Euros. 

What do you mean, they owe 350 billion Euros?  Is that more than what we raised? 

cossack55's picture

If you really want to flip out a clerk, pay in Eisenhower dollars.

Pool Shark's picture

 

 

For real fun, hand a clerk a $20 and three $1's to a pay a $17.99 bill and watch their brain seize-up until you explain to them that they then owe you a $5 and a penny...

 

combatsnoopy's picture

I do this all the time, 

They're like, "don't you want to pay with a debit?"

I use the self checkout to avoid clerks at all costs. 

I had trouble with my doctors' receptionist who didn't even know the area codes for even the affluent parts of Socal - and had a bitch attitude for it.  She can't tell time either - but somehow she's "qualified" (with big tatas) to assist the nurse.   This happens A LOT here.   

In California over 40% of High school juniors who are either white or latino did NOT pass the basic proficiency part of their STAR Algebra & Integrated Math exam.

Today's kiddos are sooo smaht that they drive some crazy big lifted hatchback to a gas station when gas prices peaked close to $4/gallon, then beg for gas money in between blunts.

It's no wonder why so many DUhmericans foreclosed on their homes.  Then demanded a bailout for the banks.  The techie presence didn't fix the numberical illiteracy.   Math is hard.  Rocket science is hard.  I'm glad they know that rocket science is hard.   

Got an IPhone and didn't pay the water bill.  Oopsies!  That's Duhmerican math for you .

These kids are the children of my high school peers (all over the country) and reaffirms my decision not to not have kids yet.  
Or until I can get them into a strict Japanese run boarding school where they'll learn something.

 

GeorgeHayduke's picture

Or pay them $22.56 for a total that is $12.56 so you can get a $10 bill back and watch them melt on the spot. My wife did this yesterday, then walked the cashier through the math. You could tell she didn't understand any of it. So sad really.

PirateOfBaltimore's picture

They're going to be even more confused when that's the bill with a woman on it.

XAU XAG's picture

@GeorgeHayduke         +1000

 

I do that all the time..........................and it gets them every time

 

They only learn what the till tells them

 

It's like "The Computer Says NO"

ebworthen's picture

The computer will tell them what to do.

Jorgen's picture

"My wife did this yesterday, then walked the cashier through the math. You could tell she didn't understand any of it. So sad really."

'Dumbing Down of America' (and the West in general)

Also this

Ward cleaver's picture

Future Economists. About the fund:
Clark (fingering some $10's and $20's in wallet). How much do you need Eddie?
Cousin Eddie: About $53,000

MWizard's picture

How to be happy despite taking an investment loss https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0T-BH8-yBmU

Dre4dwolf's picture

Pick a random address in Greece, send a box of toiletry.

lol maybe some medicine.

The Greek people need medicine and baby products for the most part... those are the only things Greeks actually buy. . .  everything else is produced for free/at cost in the country

Greeks produce 

-Cheese

-Olive Oil

-Meat

-Fish

-Chicken/Eggs

-Vegetables

-Almonds/nuts

etc... all locally, you can quite literally drive on the roads, pull over, and pick almonds off a tree, eat them and continue driving.

Food is practically free/provided by GOD in Greece.. .  like nature intended.

I have like . . .  100 Gallons of Olive oil that I shipped from Greece last time I was there . . . cost about  . . . 1$ a gallon lol costs nothing . . . and I could of got it FOR FREE but I felt bad... so i had to give something.

 

People dont get it, that the Greek people are the most generous people on earth, (not counting govt workers).

If you go to a resteraunt in Greece and pay your bill, you will immediatly get your bills worth in booze and extra food after lol . . . Greeks are the most hospitable people on the planet, this is why they are going broke. . . businesses are not run "for profit" they are run because people need something to do/like to make friends.(Assuming you are not Turkish or German) lol if you are Turkish of German, you are liable to get spit on. . . . and if you are Turkish / stay away from old people, they are liable to just pull out a gun and shoot you on the spot cause in their head the war is still going on.

J Jason Djfmam's picture

From what I read yesterday, soaps and lampshades should be in great supply, (6 billion+) yet I've not seen many Soaps and Lampshades Retail outlets.

Wouldn't these items be welcome in Greece?

Boscovius's picture

I hope you are planning on using that oil soon. It does go rancid you know. Then it's only fit for use in oil lamps.

Just trying to be helpful!

Dre4dwolf's picture

Olive oil if stored well can last A good year or two, we go through about 50 gallons a year. . . . and toss whatever goes bad/use it for oil to keep machines greased up lol.

fudge's picture

the math is horribly wrong.

thus proving that ya can't fix stupid

Spungo's picture

As Doug Casey would say, this is an example of poor people in rich countries wanting to send their money to rich people in poor countries.

Alvin Fernald's picture

If you are a fan of Casey this video may be fun/educational for you. It's a vid of him on the Donohue show in 1980.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=easuUdhW4X0

JustObserving's picture

I am waiting for my millions from the king of Nigeria before I make a generous donation to the IMF and the ECB.

cossack55's picture

Will they count 100 Trillion Zim dollars at face value?

Brazen Heist's picture

I have a few of those notes....went to Zimbabwe and the sneaky bastards tried to convince me its still legal tender. So I bought a few just for laughs.

macroeconomist's picture

There is a consensus among campaign contributors that the money should not be used to pay off the debt, but should be sent to Greek people (charities, food banks, etc.)

 

J Jason Djfmam's picture

The money should truly be used to create a sustainable banking system for Greece.

Not for paying NWO pricks.

californiagirl's picture

Greeks would be much better off if Europeans all changed their vacation plans this summer and went to Greece fully loaded with Euros to pay cash for everything.

Bank_sters's picture

Defaulting on debt can not happen since people are the collateral!   Therefore, the leaders must tax/steal from the people  until the ENDLESS debt is made whole.

 

 

jimfcarroll's picture

The Greek bailout has already been "crowdfunded" since the majority of the debt is now held by the ECB rather than the private banks.

This crowdfunding was by compulsion.