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All Trading Halted On NYSE, White House Monitoring Outage, Software "Glitch" Blamed

Tyler Durden's picture




 

*NYSE SUSPENDS TRADING IN ALL SECURITIES

* * *

The New York Times, citing floor trades, said new software to blame...

The market outage has stretched to two hours. Official say a cyber-attack is not to blame.

 

"Trader on the floor of the exchange in lower Manhattan, who spoke on the condition of anonymity, said that after the suspension began, traders were told that the problem was related to updated software that was rolled out before markets opened on Wednesday.

 

According to the trader, the exchange said that the new software caused problems soon after trading began on Wednesday and the exchange decided to shut down trading all together to fix the problem."

*  *  *

 

As Art Cashin noted - "it's been a bumpy day... with technical issues even before the open"

It started badly...

 

And CNBC was stunned...

 

Rather hilariously, CNBC just could not comprehend this "broken market"... which happens multiple times a week...

  • *NASDAQ HAS DECLARED SELF-HELP AGAINST THE NYSE AMEX
  • *NASDAQ HAS DECLARED SELF-HELP AGAINST THE NYSE
  • *NYSE EXPERIENCING `TECHNICAL ISSUE': SPOKESWOMAN
  • *NYSE: ALL OPEN ORDERS WILL BE CANCELLED

And asked "what should the retail trader at home do?"

Prophetically, we wrote about precisely this one year ago when we documented the hilarious case of "social-network" stock CYNK.  This is what we said then:

For all the drama and comedy surrounding the epic idiocy in which a bunch of "investors" took the price of non-existent company CYNK from essentially zero to a market cap of over $5 billion in under a week, most people missed the key message here: the stock is a harbinger of what is happening to the entire market. Because while those defending what is clear irrational exuberance, scratch that, irrational idiocy are quick to point out that CYNK's epic surge took place on less than 0.1% of its outstanding shares, these are the same people to say precisely the opposite about the S&P 500. "Ignore the collapsing volumes sending the stock market to all time high - it's perfectly normal" is an often repeated refrain by the permabullish crowd. Just not when it involves case studies in market insanity like CYNK apparently.

 

Perhaps ironically, it was the concurrent most recent crisis in Europe, that involving Portugal's cryptic Espirito Santo group, whose top-most HoldCo is largely shrouded in secrecy yet which somehow is not a deterrent to the sellside community to issue one after another "all is clear; don't pull your deposits please" note, that confirmed not only that nobody has any idea what the real situation of European banks is, but how the entire capital market has now become nothing more than one glorified CYNK penny-stock turning into a mid-cap.

 

Deutsche Bank's Jim Reid explains: "Whatever one feels about financials and the wider financial system, credit markets did arguably get a small glimpse of what things will be like when this cycle does actually end as the structurally impaired liquidity that exists in credit caused a small amount of panic yesterday morning before markets recovered in the European afternoon session. Liquidity is really poor in credit these days which doesn't matter when markets are in buy only mode as they have been for many quarters now, but it does matter on the days when you get a negative story."

 

In other words, just like the CEO of CYNK who promptly "made" a few billion in paper profits, it feels great to "make" money on virtually no volume. The problem arises when one tries to cash out of paper and into all too real profits.

* * *

And this happened...

*  *  *

As Reuters reports,

The White House and the U.S. Treasury Department are monitoring the "ongoing issue" at the New York Stock Exchange and President Barack Obama has been briefed on the matter, a White House official said on Wednesday.

 

The NYSE Group, which includes the New York Stock Exchange, has suspended trading in all securities because of technical difficulties.

*  *  *

Which ironic because CNBC is discussing whether this is "a success or failure" and states that "if retail investors want low cost liquid trading then they have to learn to live with this."

 

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Wed, 07/08/2015 - 11:44 | 6285022 MANvsMACHINE
MANvsMACHINE's picture

China bought the exchange?

Wed, 07/08/2015 - 11:45 | 6285047 Waylon Bits
Waylon Bits's picture

It's coming down.

 

https://youtu.be/8IQa3tZ5Kz4

Wed, 07/08/2015 - 11:48 | 6285081 nope-1004
nope-1004's picture

Yup, "free" market.

lmao

Wed, 07/08/2015 - 11:50 | 6285101 power steering
power steering's picture

Halted no doubt to stem the plunge

Wed, 07/08/2015 - 11:54 | 6285146 Son of Loki
Son of Loki's picture

Je Suis Chinee !

Wed, 07/08/2015 - 11:56 | 6285155 knukles
knukles's picture

It's all temporary, the weather and contained.
We're exceptional.

Wed, 07/08/2015 - 11:57 | 6285187 kliguy38
kliguy38's picture

yup......I'm buyin a ton of stawks today

Wed, 07/08/2015 - 12:00 | 6285228 Four chan
Four chan's picture

all ual flights cancelled due to glitch and now this? this is like the second twin tower getting hit. there are no coincidences.

Wed, 07/08/2015 - 12:03 | 6285269 Philo Beddoe
Philo Beddoe's picture

Porntube is still up. So, no need to panic. 

Wed, 07/08/2015 - 12:13 | 6285362 847328_3527
847328_3527's picture

" The NYSE spokesperson could not be reached for comment. "

 

They're all probably on a plane for Brazil ....

Wed, 07/08/2015 - 12:20 | 6285378 eclectic syncretist
eclectic syncretist's picture

DOW is short for DOWN.

Wed, 07/08/2015 - 12:29 | 6285470 Gaius Frakkin' ...
Gaius Frakkin' Baltar's picture

There's too much riding on the us stawk market. It will find a way to rip higher.

Wed, 07/08/2015 - 12:35 | 6285518 knukles
knukles's picture

Some "jagoff" on CNBS just asked his "foil"; "What about all the people who want to buy stocks?"

Aaaaaaaarrraagagargrgrgrgrrhhjhh!!!!!

Wed, 07/08/2015 - 13:11 | 6285823 whotookmyalias
whotookmyalias's picture

All this happens right before Jade Helm and Comic-con are due to start.  Hmmm

Wed, 07/08/2015 - 13:25 | 6285929 old naughty
old naughty's picture

also all this happens right before a drill in south china sea held by 33,000 (americans and aussies) plus an amanda led by a flattop...

not news by MSM.

Wed, 07/08/2015 - 13:27 | 6285954 pelican
pelican's picture

Quick, someone wake up the plunge protection time. 

Wed, 07/08/2015 - 13:34 | 6286010 BaBaBouy
BaBaBouy's picture

BREAKING... Update... "Putin Did It"...

Wed, 07/08/2015 - 13:52 | 6286137 The Juggernaut
The Juggernaut's picture

Hey, Janet?! We're publishing the Fed minutes today right?! Ok, Larry... glitch it today.

Wed, 07/08/2015 - 13:54 | 6286146 saints51
saints51's picture

MUWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Wed, 07/08/2015 - 14:03 | 6286219 NoDebt
NoDebt's picture

"There won't be a crash.  One day, without warning, they'll just close the casino.  Game over.  Thanks for playing."

NoDebt, Doc Engali, others.

This isn't it, but it is a dry run.

Wed, 07/08/2015 - 14:39 | 6286437 Soul Glow
Soul Glow's picture

TURN THE MACHINES BACK ON!

Wed, 07/08/2015 - 14:42 | 6286447 COSMOS
COSMOS's picture

This is what happens when you play with 'Greek Fire'

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Greek_fire

Wed, 07/08/2015 - 14:48 | 6286484 Save_America1st
Save_America1st's picture

"White House is monitoring outage."???? 

 

suuuuuuuuuuuuuuuure...from what golf course or gay bar is obama "monitoring" this????

Wed, 07/08/2015 - 13:34 | 6286011 knukles
knukles's picture

If its a computer "glitch" then why the reports of the FBI and White House involvement?
                          Ah, never sweat the small stuff!

Wed, 07/08/2015 - 13:56 | 6286162 Ms. Erable
Ms. Erable's picture

Prolly looking for the guy that did this to the exchanges:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TBkf0nAGqi0

Wed, 07/08/2015 - 14:42 | 6286453 El Vaquero
El Vaquero's picture

Nothing wrong with a little prank from the same dude who tells it as it is.

 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PzZ4i8aWs_s

Wed, 07/08/2015 - 14:01 | 6286201 cheech_wizard
cheech_wizard's picture

Ok, I have to draw the line here... Comic-con does not a conspiracy theory make...

Wed, 07/08/2015 - 13:11 | 6285843 two hoots
two hoots's picture

The bleeding continues, with distractions.

Wed, 07/08/2015 - 13:19 | 6285897 eatthebanksters
eatthebanksters's picture

Comic Con will go down as the Black Swan event!

Wed, 07/08/2015 - 13:26 | 6285934 e_goldstein
e_goldstein's picture

And for the first time since Greece (yes, I'm claiming the IP rights for that one) the precious is up.

(and all it took was massive cyber attacks--who would have thunk it)

Wed, 07/08/2015 - 13:59 | 6286179 joseJimenez
joseJimenez's picture

Yeah, even if it has to reduce volume to 2

Wed, 07/08/2015 - 12:30 | 6285477 Momauguin Joe
Momauguin Joe's picture

We pulled it. 

Wed, 07/08/2015 - 14:02 | 6286207 mkkby
mkkby's picture

Obama will use this as an excuse to ban handguns.

Wed, 07/08/2015 - 15:26 | 6286704 silvermail
silvermail's picture

Obama will use this as an excuse to ban Gold and Silver.

Wed, 07/08/2015 - 14:03 | 6286212 Hugh G Rection
Hugh G Rection's picture

The NYSE must have been built with asbestos fire-proofing then...

Wed, 07/08/2015 - 12:30 | 6285480 RaceToTheBottom
RaceToTheBottom's picture

It is not broken, it is a feature.

Wed, 07/08/2015 - 14:18 | 6286329 Closet Boy
Closet Boy's picture

A duffle bag full of cash will get you many morenas and caipirinhas.  At 1 USD to 3 R.....Like a sore d1ck, it can't be beat.

Wed, 07/08/2015 - 12:14 | 6285364 HowdyDoody
HowdyDoody's picture

The maroons trashed the oil price to punish Rrussia and took out the US shale frackers.

The maroons trashed the Chinese stock market to punish China and took out the US stock market.

 

Wed, 07/08/2015 - 12:22 | 6285405 SilverRhino
SilverRhino's picture

Whelp .... it's been fun .... 

 

Looks like I picked the wrong week to quit smoking.

Wed, 07/08/2015 - 12:56 | 6285726 MartyFlesh
MartyFlesh's picture

Lokks like I made the right investment move going to Costco and Buying Large Bottles of Bourbon in Bulk...  Good Luck with you Stawks you Imbeciles

Wed, 07/08/2015 - 13:20 | 6285901 sleigher
sleigher's picture

Thats what I need to get.  A few cases of Jack...   Or get my still finished...

Wed, 07/08/2015 - 19:44 | 6287850 Chauncey Gardener
Chauncey Gardener's picture

A few cases of Jack is an excellent bartering tool to have in your arsenal along with batteries, ammo (name your price), and other essentials like coffee, sugar, flour, first aid stuff, and toiletries. TP will be sold by the square, LOL.

Wed, 07/08/2015 - 13:40 | 6286057 buzzkillb
buzzkillb's picture

Target now carries DIY beer kits. What do they know?

Wed, 07/08/2015 - 12:34 | 6285508 Badsamm
Badsamm's picture

Bloomberg just mentioned ZH's tech issues this morning.

Wed, 07/08/2015 - 12:36 | 6285524 knukles
knukles's picture

Hah ha ha ha
Oh, the irony of it all.

Wed, 07/08/2015 - 12:43 | 6285584 WTFRLY
WTFRLY's picture

To be fair, all of the chaos theory news headlines were mentioned. WSJ, United, etc.

Wed, 07/08/2015 - 12:43 | 6285587 Fun Facts
Fun Facts's picture

it's possible that China and the US are hacking each other's market rigging practices.

Wed, 07/08/2015 - 14:02 | 6286204 thamnosma
thamnosma's picture

Zero Hacked.   Hey, it's Blofeld.

Wed, 07/08/2015 - 12:40 | 6285563 nightwish
nightwish's picture

China related dumping. Cant wait to see the plethora of listings in Arcadia soon. 

Wed, 07/08/2015 - 14:33 | 6286414 thinkitthrough
thinkitthrough's picture

I think so, first meaningful cyber shots of WWIII between China/Russia and US/West. I personally believe the US government is actively trying to sink the Chinese stock market and what happened today is retaliatory.

Wed, 07/08/2015 - 13:11 | 6285846 Miffed Microbio...
Miffed Microbiologist's picture

Philo, is this the part when the ants are randomly crashing into each other or is that yet to come?

Thanks,

Miffed ( a bemused observer)

Wed, 07/08/2015 - 13:25 | 6285930 Philo Beddoe
Philo Beddoe's picture

lol. That, or the kid with the magnifying glass stage, 

Wed, 07/08/2015 - 13:41 | 6286060 Dave Thomas
Dave Thomas's picture

I used to suspend the firecrackers over the ant hill with stick and twigs to simulate a little airburst.

Wed, 07/08/2015 - 13:23 | 6285926 greatbeard
greatbeard's picture

>> Porntube is still up.

I generally think you are a jackass (j/k) but that was funny.

Wed, 07/08/2015 - 13:33 | 6286004 SokPOTUS
SokPOTUS's picture

Thank goodness - at least we know the SEC will be on the case.

Wed, 07/08/2015 - 12:07 | 6285235 Pinto Currency
Pinto Currency's picture

 

 

US - China same same.

Wed, 07/08/2015 - 12:26 | 6285344 rbg81
rbg81's picture

My theory:  The Chinese blame us for their market crash, so they're launching a hack attack.

How bad can things get?  Imagine everyone's investment and bank account drained to zero?  [All your $$ belong to us now]

At that point, the Internet as we know it is dead and we literally go back to the 1960s in terms of network connectivity.

Wed, 07/08/2015 - 12:01 | 6285236 thecondor
thecondor's picture

I am so mezmorized by the fucked up markets today I can't get any work done. 

Wed, 07/08/2015 - 12:05 | 6285287 pods
pods's picture

And how is United Airlines IT treating you?

:D

Wed, 07/08/2015 - 12:21 | 6285400 bidaskspread
bidaskspread's picture

Where's Beeks? Where in the hell is Beeks?

Wed, 07/08/2015 - 12:02 | 6285256 Killer the Buzzard
Killer the Buzzard's picture

I declare "self-help" against myself when my girlfriend is out of town.

Wed, 07/08/2015 - 14:47 | 6286480 El Vaquero
Wed, 07/08/2015 - 12:03 | 6285264 froze25
froze25's picture

Premiums on SD Bullion for silver (that's all I looked at) have jumped quite a bit today.

Wed, 07/08/2015 - 12:40 | 6285564 ZeroPoint
ZeroPoint's picture

Obama says the market halt was due to Global Warming.

Wed, 07/08/2015 - 12:07 | 6285301 booboo
booboo's picture

Um, so put the Emergency Exit sign in a dead end hallway

Wed, 07/08/2015 - 11:54 | 6285151 clooney_art
clooney_art's picture

Borrowing  a page from China, I see.

Stocks won't go down if there is no medium to trade.

I find all of this very bizzare way of thinking. This dates back to Austrian economics. Value is only what one gives it. If no one wants it there is no value to it, even if it is gold.

Wed, 07/08/2015 - 12:23 | 6285410 eclectic syncretist
eclectic syncretist's picture

You obviously are not familiar with rule number one of the US markets: IF THE BANKSTERS DO NOT FEEL TOTALLY IN CONTROL AND SECURE IN THEIR BELIEF THAT THEY WILL RAPE AND EXTRACT ALL CITIZENS AND TAXPAYERS THEY MUST CLOSE THE MARKET UNTIL THEY KNOW THAT THEIR ILLEGAL PILLAGE CAN CONTINUE UNIMPEDED.

Wed, 07/08/2015 - 14:38 | 6286435 SofaPapa
SofaPapa's picture

Nothing to add.  Beautiful comment!

Wed, 07/08/2015 - 12:34 | 6285509 SeattleBruce
SeattleBruce's picture

"Borrowing a page from China, I see."

Well, and Greece is closed too...

Wed, 07/08/2015 - 13:58 | 6286168 TheRideNeverEnds
TheRideNeverEnds's picture

Exactly, people have yet to realize the genius in China's actions. If you halt 50% of stocks you will only have the market decline a maximum of 50% and that is only if the remainder are left open and allowed to go to zero.

I say we one up them here in the USSA by halting 90% of stocks then the max decline we could possibly see would be another 10% provided those stocks are allowed to go to zero.

It's a brilliant plan with no downside, get on it Mr. Obama.

Wed, 07/08/2015 - 11:57 | 6285193 BaBaBouy
BaBaBouy's picture

SACKS HFT Bots Down ???

Stop ALL (alledged) Free Trading ???

Wed, 07/08/2015 - 11:58 | 6285205 NoVa
NoVa's picture

IT WAS THE DUKES!   IT WAS THE DUKES!

 

TURN THOSE MACHINES BACK ON !!!!!!!!!

 

  -  Trading Places

Wed, 07/08/2015 - 12:06 | 6285291 large_wooden_badger
large_wooden_badger's picture

"Looking good, Mortimer"

Wed, 07/08/2015 - 12:10 | 6285335 NoVa
NoVa's picture

"Mother always said you were greedy"

  - Randolph Duke

Wed, 07/08/2015 - 13:12 | 6285849 large_wooden_badger
large_wooden_badger's picture

"I had the most absurd nightmare. I was poor and no one liked me. I lost my job, I lost my house, Penelope hated me and it was all because of this terrible, awful Negro." ~ Louis Winthrop III

Wed, 07/08/2015 - 13:55 | 6286154 NumberNone
NumberNone's picture

Perfect opportunity to insert an Obama picture at the end of the quote.

Thu, 07/09/2015 - 11:13 | 6290164 large_wooden_badger
large_wooden_badger's picture

For some reason I've never been able to get that to work here on ZH using firefox, the pics never show up. I see other comments that embed pictures, I've tried viewing the source. And now others even point out an opportunity missed. This has frustrated me to no end. What is the secret?

Wed, 07/08/2015 - 13:31 | 6285993 stormsailor
stormsailor's picture

she meant it as a compliment.

Wed, 07/08/2015 - 19:52 | 6287875 Chauncey Gardener
Chauncey Gardener's picture

The Dukes of Hazard and that damn rebel flag. There, fixed it for you. WH news conference from the Rose Garden tomorrow morning officially blaming the rebel flag, the Dukes of Hazard, and the General Lee. Isis cake will be served after the news conference. 

Eat up, bitches.

Wed, 07/08/2015 - 14:50 | 6286497 richiebaby
richiebaby's picture

NYSE's Farley announced the "trading was halted to allow Goldman Sachs to sell their positions and go short"
"When we open, this will initially drop faster than my ex-wife's panties" 

Wed, 07/08/2015 - 14:51 | 6286503 richiebaby
richiebaby's picture

NYSE's Farley announced the "trading was halted to allow Goldman Sachs to sell their positions and go short"
"When we open, this will initially drop faster than my ex-wife's panties" 

Wed, 07/08/2015 - 11:54 | 6285148 WTFRLY
WTFRLY's picture

Shots fired

Wed, 07/08/2015 - 12:20 | 6285376 847328_3527
847328_3527's picture

All folks with sell orders to be arrested on sight and scarfed off to the FEMA camp for "re-education."

Wed, 07/08/2015 - 12:43 | 6285589 WTFRLY
WTFRLY's picture

lololololol this. 

Wed, 07/08/2015 - 19:50 | 6287868 Chauncey Gardener
Chauncey Gardener's picture

Obviously, the contagion from Greece is starting to set in. Let's see the WH spin this...

Wed, 07/08/2015 - 12:45 | 6285387 richiebaby
richiebaby's picture

United Airlines, NYSE and ZH shut down approx the same time???

Tyler, who did you piss off now?

Wed, 07/08/2015 - 13:17 | 6285886 Jack Burton
Jack Burton's picture

Good call! I think you are at least partly right here! Something has broken due to Europe and Chinese turmoil and need to find liquidity by selling something, anything.

Wed, 07/08/2015 - 11:50 | 6285098 eclectic syncretist
eclectic syncretist's picture

No shit brother, the stock market's the last man standing in the Fed's arsenal.  When it goes it's game over.

Wed, 07/08/2015 - 11:51 | 6285104 power steering
power steering's picture

Fed doesn't use BATS?

Wed, 07/08/2015 - 11:56 | 6285170 Realname
Realname's picture

If you dont pay up they breaka your knees wif da bats.

Wed, 07/08/2015 - 11:58 | 6285203 knukles
Wed, 07/08/2015 - 15:07 | 6286618 Tall Tom
Tall Tom's picture

STAWKS are mainly used for the manipulation of the Public's perception...the MUPPETS.

 

The Bond Market is the last man standing in the Fed's arsenal. Note that no glitch happened in that market today.

 

The endgame is being played out. Yes the suspension of trading is much more likely to liquidity issues rather than a software glitch.

 

In China they just illegalize the liquidation of large amounts of STAWK. In America we stage a Market Glitch by installing some inferior software on a day when the NYSE knows that the Market is going to tumble due to Asia's Market action.

 

But the US Bond Market will implode. You can bet on that eventuality. The IMF already has plans for the implementation of a new World Currency in October from some of the some sources which I have read. But for that to be accepted King Dollar must die.

 

VIX is set to increase to unheard of levels in the leadup to the September Meltdown.

 

Save your Gold as that will transition you from one system to the next...that is if you actually physically survive it to the other side.

Wed, 07/08/2015 - 11:52 | 6285100 TruthInSunshine
TruthInSunshine's picture

"Get those brokers back in here! Turn those machines back on!"

- Mortimer Duke

"Cause you gotta have faith."

- George Michael

Wed, 07/08/2015 - 11:53 | 6285131 power steering
power steering's picture

ISIS JUST PLCED 100 MILLION SELL ORDERS

Wed, 07/08/2015 - 13:43 | 6286079 ParkAveFlasher
ParkAveFlasher's picture

It's the Libyans, Marty!

Wed, 07/08/2015 - 11:54 | 6285154 terry44
terry44's picture

You mean freefall market.

Wed, 07/08/2015 - 12:56 | 6285728 Schwarze Tulpe
Schwarze Tulpe's picture

Exactly right, it's just an illusion.  If you cannot acquire and dispose (sell) of what you think is your property, then that isn't really your property.  Amongst many other reasons this is the most signifigant impediment that keeps me out of the stock market.  I simply have no confidence that I have complete control over my euities in such an environment.  People have long figured this out over the past few years, ergo the principle reason for the low trading volumes.

Wed, 07/08/2015 - 12:11 | 6285348 Kirk2NCC1701
Kirk2NCC1701's picture

"It's coming down".

Yeah, so is PM (Ag, Au...).

Just BTFD already, or you're a moron. :-)

Wed, 07/08/2015 - 12:12 | 6285356 Fun Facts
Fun Facts's picture

Trading will resume as soon as the FED's HFT market rigging algos come back on line.

Wed, 07/08/2015 - 13:15 | 6285869 cornflakesdisease
cornflakesdisease's picture

Good lord what a terrible song.

Wed, 07/08/2015 - 13:34 | 6285986 lakecity55
lakecity55's picture

Dupe. ZH is still getting fucked with.

Wed, 07/08/2015 - 13:31 | 6285989 lakecity55
lakecity55's picture

Well, we can at least be sure Bath House is going down on someone, somewhere.......

Wed, 07/08/2015 - 11:45 | 6285055 kliguy38
kliguy38's picture

I'm gonna need moar toilet paper

Wed, 07/08/2015 - 12:00 | 6285221 terry44
terry44's picture

Probably too late for some of them out there!

Wed, 07/08/2015 - 12:02 | 6285248 Kaiser Sousa
Kaiser Sousa's picture

JUST CHECKED...

all my real money is still there...

DEATH TO THE MONEYCHANGERS.......

Wed, 07/08/2015 - 12:37 | 6285481 pods
pods's picture

My old man just gave me a bag of war nickels.  We used to save them as a novelty. Now, I save them for use.

pods

Wed, 07/08/2015 - 14:31 | 6286386 Paveway IV
Paveway IV's picture

I used to think silver dimes and quarters might serve that purpose someday. I kind of get the feeling that 95% of the population would have absolutely no idea that either was worth more than face value. "Why would I give you more than $.25 of something for it, you f'king RETARD!"

Silver halfs and dollars? Nah-uh. "WTF are those? THOSE aren't even real coins, you idiot!!"

Wed, 07/08/2015 - 15:13 | 6286622 Save_America1st
Save_America1st's picture

one day at work in a break room that I was walking through an older woman who was trying to buy a can of Coke from a vending machine stopped me to ask if I would trade her "bad" quarter for a "good" quarter because the "damn Coke machine" wouldn't take it.

She held it out to me and I could tell right away when I saw it pinched between her thumb and fore-finger that it was a pre-1965 silver quarter. 

I took it from her and sure enough, 1964, and I immediately told her that she didn't want to spend that quarter anyway because it was a silver quarter.  I had automatically assumed that due to her age that she would have known exactly what I was saying was true and would totally understand the error she nearly made by putting that quarter in the vending machine.

But instead to my surprise, she looked at me as if I was speaking an alien language.  The look on her face was just a blank stare of confusion.

So I explained what the quarter was and that it was worth (at that time) about 3 dollars, so she should be glad the machine didn't take it because that would have been a very expensive can of Coke!  I said this kind of laughingly expecting her to understand me and also get a chuckle out of her near mistake.

Still nothing from her...I could still tell she was confused and all she could manage to do was somewhat laugh nervously as if I was lying to her and making all that up.

So I said, "look...I won't trade you a regular quarter for this.", and I pulled 3 dollars out of my pocket along with a worthless quarter and offered to trade her for it. 

Well that really got her laughing very oddly and nervously and she was clearly not believing me at all and she actually thought I was totally fucking with her at that point. 

I again reiterated my offer to her explaining again that the silver quarter was worth that much so it was okay and a proper trade.  She would not take the fiat from me at all...she kept shaking her head laughing nervously still acting like I was fucking with her.

So then I put the three dollars back in my pocket and said "okay"...here's a regular quarter for your silver quarter so that you can buy your can of Coke.  She then smiled, said "Thank you", took the quarter, spun around and plunked it into the Coke machine happy as a pig in slop to get her fucking can of Coke.

I said have a nice day and walked away laughing...what else could I do?  I tried the best I could with her to no evail, and I ended up with a free silver quarter.

That was a great day for me.  I hope she really enjoyed her poisonous can of Coke. 

I don't think I've ever seen that lady again...it's a very big company.  But I always wonder if she ever figured out what I was telling her was true and kicks herself for giving a silver quarter away.  hahaha

 

...always be stacking! ;-)

Wed, 07/08/2015 - 11:46 | 6285057 NewThor
NewThor's picture

God bless everyone.

Strange days, indeed.

Stay Cool.

T

Wed, 07/08/2015 - 11:52 | 6285117 onewayticket2
onewayticket2's picture

wall st journal down.

 

Wed, 07/08/2015 - 11:56 | 6285178 Tortfeasor
Tortfeasor's picture

Nice catch

Wed, 07/08/2015 - 12:00 | 6285225 NoVa
NoVa's picture

Confirmed.  WSJ is a 504 error

Wed, 07/08/2015 - 12:07 | 6285305 onewayticket2
onewayticket2's picture

obama admin to speak soon...."we need more control of the internet"

Wed, 07/08/2015 - 12:08 | 6285314 fatlibertarian
fatlibertarian's picture

lol, so they can ensure more outtages.

Wed, 07/08/2015 - 12:24 | 6285417 bigfire
bigfire's picture

WSJ's Diaster Recovery page is up.  Guess with NYSE down, everyone and their counsin is hammering WSJ to see what's up.  

Wed, 07/08/2015 - 11:46 | 6285065 sessinpo
sessinpo's picture

Or maybe China ia retaliating with an e-attack since they blame the US for  their financial market woes.

Wed, 07/08/2015 - 11:49 | 6285095 Winston Churchill
Winston Churchill's picture

Exactly.

Doesn't matter a whit if its true or not, the perception is is that the US is attacking China.

Wed, 07/08/2015 - 11:56 | 6285166 Son of Loki
Son of Loki's picture

No, no, no ... it's the 8 year-old brown Indian in his London Basement who did it. He actually read the manuals.

 

 

Wed, 07/08/2015 - 11:54 | 6285150 williambanzai7
williambanzai7's picture

PROJECT MAYHEM

Wed, 07/08/2015 - 12:01 | 6285233 Philo Beddoe
Philo Beddoe's picture

One of your best, William. 

Wed, 07/08/2015 - 12:03 | 6285266 Ness.
Ness.'s picture

i want that image on a T-Shirt

Wed, 07/08/2015 - 12:07 | 6285308 pods
pods's picture

I want to see that on my TV on every channel.

Wed, 07/08/2015 - 12:26 | 6285441 onewayticket2
onewayticket2's picture

i'll make them....have tons of capacity if william will grant the art.

Wed, 07/08/2015 - 12:49 | 6285658 robertocarlos
robertocarlos's picture

What are the dots and dashes at the bottom meaning?

Wed, 07/08/2015 - 14:35 | 6286419 sluggo
sluggo's picture

Morse code maybe? Anyone know how to read it? enlarge by clicking on it (twice)

Wed, 07/08/2015 - 15:48 | 6286839 goldsaver
goldsaver's picture

PREPAREFORMORSECODEREPEATERMODE

Wed, 07/08/2015 - 13:29 | 6285965 lakecity55
lakecity55's picture

You will have to let us know how to get them if Wm. gives you the rights.

Wed, 07/08/2015 - 12:27 | 6285458 Lugnut
Lugnut's picture

Logged in just to upvote this. Fookin classic!

Wed, 07/08/2015 - 13:03 | 6285785 vincent
vincent's picture

That's a great T Shirt WB7.

Just sayin

Wed, 07/08/2015 - 14:25 | 6286367 DIgnified
DIgnified's picture

You don't see Yes-Man enough in good art. 

Wed, 07/08/2015 - 14:28 | 6286387 The.Harmless.Jew
The.Harmless.Jew's picture

 

 

 

"You call that a glitch?!?"

 

Name the movie

 

 

Wed, 07/08/2015 - 12:03 | 6285267 Bloppy
Bloppy's picture

This is NOT a joke: CNBC just touted this as a buying opportunity!

 

Study: thousands self-identify as ‘vampires’, acceptance needed

Research finds vampires fear disclosing identity to doctors, ‘stereotyping’, ‘microaggression’ concerns

http://tinyurl.com/np6x8q9

Wed, 07/08/2015 - 13:50 | 6286110 Herd Redirectio...
Herd Redirection Committee's picture

Self identifying as a robot or sociopath, is not far off, I can tell you that.

And with that, all moral boundaries go to.  Everything is permissible.  Do what thou wilt (if you are a Luciferian, that is).

Wed, 07/08/2015 - 12:08 | 6285312 BullyBearish
BullyBearish's picture

We're only one fake EMP away from REAL recovery...

Wed, 07/08/2015 - 12:09 | 6285328 Jumbotron
Jumbotron's picture

What's going on? United Airlines was down this morning, all flights canceled due to a "computer glitch"

Trading halted here.

And now CNBC is now down?

Hack Attack ?

Wed, 07/08/2015 - 12:31 | 6285483 Lugnut
Lugnut's picture

I think they are getting monkey hammered with volume. A true (unintended) DDOS  overload

Wed, 07/08/2015 - 19:58 | 6287902 Chauncey Gardener
Chauncey Gardener's picture

And you better believe the monkey hammering of PM's will continue as the contagion from Greece spreads. 

Remember Dollar Good. Stawks Good. PM's BAD.

Wed, 07/08/2015 - 13:27 | 6285947 Quus Ant
Quus Ant's picture

It's war by other means. 

When the electronic pay system (Victory Is Still Achievable) goes down this mfer goes live.

 

Kill for gain or shoot to maim
But we don't need a reason
The Golden Goose is on the loose
And never out of season
Some blackened pride still burns inside
This shell of bloody treason
Here's my gun for a barrel of fun
For the love of living death.

The killer's breed or the demon's seed,
The glamor, the fortune, the pain,
Go to war again, blood is freedom's stain,
But don't you pray for my soul anymore.
Two minutes to midnight
The hands that threaten doom.
Two minutes to midnight
To kill the unborn in the womb.

The blind men shout let the creatures out
We'll show the unbelievers
The napalm screams of human flames
Of a prime time Belsen feast, yeah!
As the reasons for the carnage cut their meat and lick the gravy,
We oil the jaws of the war machine and feed it with our babies.

The body bags and little rags of children torn in two
And the jellied brains of those who remain to put the finger right on you.
As the madmen play on words and make us all dance to their song,
To the tune of starving millions to make a better kind of gun.

Midnight, all night

Wed, 07/08/2015 - 13:41 | 6286061 king leon
king leon's picture

It's war Jim, but not as we know it"

Wed, 07/08/2015 - 13:49 | 6286106 sgt_doom
sgt_doom's picture

That Norse map is certainly a thousand times superior to that CIA-financed company, Fireeye, whose hack-attack map looks like pure shit:

https://www.fireeye.com/cyber-map/threat-map.html

Wed, 07/08/2015 - 13:28 | 6285956 lakecity55
lakecity55's picture

If it is, Jeh Johnson is not gonna admit it, at least at this point in time.

Too many systems are out of whack.

Cannot be a co-incidence, can it??

Wed, 07/08/2015 - 12:19 | 6285371 Jumbotron
Jumbotron's picture

Hey Tyler....you're still hit and miss   (12:18 pm EDT, N.E. Florida)

Lots of maintenance mode and unable to connect error messages.

CNBC back up buck sluggish.

WTF ?

Wed, 07/08/2015 - 12:20 | 6285390 Which is worse ...
Which is worse - bankers or terrorists's picture

Classic. 

Wed, 07/08/2015 - 12:33 | 6285501 earlyfrick
earlyfrick's picture

LMAO. everything has to do with that country in your narrow little mind.

Wed, 07/08/2015 - 12:33 | 6285502 earlyfrick
earlyfrick's picture

LMAO. everything has to do with that country in your narrow little mind.

Wed, 07/08/2015 - 12:36 | 6285531 earlyfrick
earlyfrick's picture

lamo, everything has to do with that country inyour mind

Wed, 07/08/2015 - 12:49 | 6285660 JuliaS
JuliaS's picture

Operation "Juden Heim".

Do NOT follow this link or you will be banned from the site!