This page has been archived and commenting is disabled.

Peru Sued By Illinois Firm For Unpaid Birdshit Bonds

Tyler Durden's picture




 

If you’ve followed the recent evolution of fixed income products, you’re well aware that when it comes to pooling assets and securitizing cash flows, pretty much anything goes. From subprime auto loans, to credit card receivables, to P2P debt, to PE home flipper loans, you name it and there’s a fixed income security for it. 

Given the above, we were fairly certain that when it comes to bonds, nothing would surprise us in terms of debtors, creditors, and the underlying assets. 

We were wrong. 

As Bloomberg reports, Illinois-based MMA Consultants 1 Inc has filed suit in U.S. District Court in connection with money the firm says it is owed by The Republic of Peru for bonds issued in 1875. Here’s more:

Fourteen bonds the country issued in 1875 .. are now held by an Illinois firm that says it’s having a hard time redeeming them.

 

MMA said it sent three letters to Peru’s Minister of Economics and Finance requesting payment to no avail. The company is suing for breach of contract. It didn’t reveal in the lawsuit how it came by the bonds.

 

If that were the whole story, it wouldn’t be all that interesting. Fortunately, there’s more: 

[The] bonds were issued to pay off debt to a U.S. guano consignment company.

 

Each bond promised a payoff of $1,000 "United States Gold coin" plus 7 percent interest a year, according to the complaint filed Thursday by MMA Consultants 1 Inc. in federal court in New York.

 

The bonds bear the signature of Don Manuel Freyre, who is described as the "Envoy Extraordinaire and Minister Plenipotentiary of Peru," according to the complaint.

Because we cannot imagine what we could possibly add that would make this any more amusing than it already is, we’ll simply leave you with the following summary:

MMA Consultants 1 is attempting to collect what, with interest, amounts to $182 million in gold coins from "Envoy Extraordinaire" Don Manuel Freyre, in connection with bonds Peru issued 140 years ago to pay off a debt to a seabird dung consignment company.

(Don Manuel Freyre, Envoy Extraordinaire)  

 

- advertisements -

Comment viewing options

Select your preferred way to display the comments and click "Save settings" to activate your changes.
Fri, 07/17/2015 - 17:50 | 6325292 Winston Churchill
Winston Churchill's picture

Truly batshit crazy.

Fri, 07/17/2015 - 18:01 | 6325332 negative rates
negative rates's picture

That's ok cause ill owes the feds a hugh amount from the 1840's which they defaulted on, so i'm certain some sort of a trianguar deal can be made here.

Fri, 07/17/2015 - 18:03 | 6325336 kliguy38
kliguy38's picture

somethin' smells here

Fri, 07/17/2015 - 18:13 | 6325380 johngaltfla
johngaltfla's picture

Well, if any state is full of shit, it's Illinois. Look how much shit they've shipped to D.C.

Fri, 07/17/2015 - 18:21 | 6325394 Billy the Poet
Billy the Poet's picture

FDR nullified all contracts payable in gold in 1933.  Here's a thought, settle up in guano.

 

 

Another type of de facto gold seizure occurred as a result of the various Executive Orders and it involved bonds, gold certificates and private contracts. Private contracts or bonds which were written in terms of gold were to be paid in paper currency instead of gold. This was in spite of the fact that these contracts and bonds all proclaimed that they were payable in gold, and at least one, the fourth Liberty Bond, was a federal instrument. The plaintiffs in all cases received paper money instead of (the contract terms') gold. The contracts and bonds were written precisely to avoid currency debasement by requiring payment in gold coin. The paper money which was redeemable in gold was instead irredeemable based on Nortz v. United States, 294 U.S. 317

 

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Executive_Order_6102

 

 

Fri, 07/17/2015 - 19:08 | 6325539 negative rates
negative rates's picture

Funny thing about that deal, the $100 gold treasury notes (like but not federal reserve note) were not confiscated and bought $100 worth of goods of the day. Interesting gambling days of the past, present, and future. 

Fri, 07/17/2015 - 19:59 | 6325661 Save_America1st
Save_America1st's picture

Maybe Peru should pay Illinois-based MMA Consultants 1 Inc. off in 100 year Mexican bonds.  I'm sure Mexico will come through in 2115 on those. 

they could also add in another 1000 U.S. gold coins with those 100 year Mexican bonds.

That'd be a big win for Peru and Mexico cuz we all know those barberous relic gold coins will be worth negative 10,000 dollars each in 100 years from now. ;-)

Fri, 07/17/2015 - 20:39 | 6325761 negative rates
negative rates's picture

I guess that depends on who "we all" are, now doesn't it?

Fri, 07/17/2015 - 22:17 | 6326050 MontgomeryScott
MontgomeryScott's picture

"[The] bonds were issued to pay off debt to a U.S. guano consignment company."

Is this a U.S. company that CONSIGNED birdshit for Peru? I mean, they actually loaded up 12,000 'dollars' worth of birdshit and sent it ON CONSIGNMENT? In sailing ships? Yo ho, yo ho, a pirate's life (and all that entails)? Precious fucking (essence of life) BIRDSHIT sent from the CONUS to PERU, a voyage of several thousand sea miles, by 'Clipper Ships'? The guy that actually SIGNED for the order and gave out $1,000 gold dollar promisory notes on behalf of Peru at the point of disembarkation of this stinky, but highly prized cargo wasn't declared to be a BIRDSHIT as well? 

YEAH. Fucking Illinois lawyers still have a few 'cards' up their sleeve to play... (careful that you don't step on your dicks on the way, you Kike mother-fucking child-raping Moloch-worshipping faggots. I've been collecting birdshit [and all kinds of other animal shit], and am prepared to ship you a payment)





Sat, 07/18/2015 - 02:31 | 6326451 zhandax
zhandax's picture

"ill owes the feds a hugh amount from the 1840's which they defaulted on"

Tell me more, I'm buyin.  Anything I can do to hasten the state of illinoiance to bankruptcy I consider a service to mankind.

Fri, 07/17/2015 - 19:03 | 6325529 negative rates
negative rates's picture

Yeah but the kicker was the second of three states involved was ark, home to, well, you know. The third was ind, they must have thought they could tax river traffic but forgot about the states across the river, they went belly up twice, once with the fed , and a secondary issue state bonds which also wern't not paid. The fed now sits a top a piling heap o chit which they now want to add to in a big __ way, still a few interesting days ahead.

Sat, 07/18/2015 - 07:14 | 6326613 Fukushima Fricassee
Fukushima Fricassee's picture

Not fair some of that shit came from Kenya.

Fri, 07/17/2015 - 18:17 | 6325393 J Jason Djfmam
J Jason Djfmam's picture

Peru simply needs to mint one, 182 million dollar, gold coin.

Problem solved.

Fri, 07/17/2015 - 20:11 | 6325673 Save_America1st
Save_America1st's picture

yeah...One 1 ounce coin...make it Five 9's though for big-time authenticity, lol...and stamp that big 'ol 182 Meeeeeeeelion dollars right on the obverse of it with a pile of bat guano stamped on the revers side. 

Sat, 07/18/2015 - 15:31 | 6327498 Sokhmate
Sokhmate's picture

The preparation H plan 

Mon, 07/20/2015 - 14:56 | 6333445 TheRedScourge
TheRedScourge's picture

Won't work, it says US gold coins.

Fri, 07/17/2015 - 18:37 | 6325467 ShrNfr
ShrNfr's picture

The gull of that firm is truly amazing.

Fri, 07/17/2015 - 19:32 | 6325593 bigkahuna
bigkahuna's picture

robin em' blind...

Fri, 07/17/2015 - 20:12 | 6325692 Save_America1st
Save_America1st's picture

Those bonds went the way of the Do-Do

Fri, 07/17/2015 - 21:00 | 6325807 Thirtyseven
Thirtyseven's picture

Guess we'd better 'Duck' if all this guano's gonna hit the fan.

Fri, 07/17/2015 - 17:50 | 6325293 Bastiat
Bastiat's picture

Declare Force Maneure !

Fri, 07/17/2015 - 19:13 | 6325552 steelhead23
steelhead23's picture

That's Force du fumier.

Fri, 07/17/2015 - 20:41 | 6325766 HardlyZero
HardlyZero's picture

Paper Doo-cats (i.e ducats)

Fri, 07/17/2015 - 23:20 | 6326220 dogbreath
dogbreath's picture

fumatious  shitutious

Fri, 07/17/2015 - 17:52 | 6325299 Poundsand
Poundsand's picture

The chicken shit has come home to roost!

Fri, 07/17/2015 - 18:03 | 6325338 negative rates
negative rates's picture

It's called tax collector desperation, we are at our wits ends on how to create more ways of collecting money due the future.

Fri, 07/17/2015 - 18:39 | 6325371 Lumberjack
Lumberjack's picture

Word has it that the DWI standard is being looked at. Solid info is thst .05 is currently being considered.

Fri, 07/17/2015 - 19:11 | 6325547 negative rates
negative rates's picture

Skys the limit when insanities are involved.

Fri, 07/17/2015 - 17:52 | 6325301 samuraitrader
samuraitrader's picture

The best fiction writers could not make up this stuff. LOL

Fri, 07/17/2015 - 17:54 | 6325303 booboo
booboo's picture

and it's guano!!

Fri, 07/17/2015 - 18:18 | 6325397 New_Meat
New_Meat's picture

local tex-mex place here is asking "would you like guano on that, sir?"

Fri, 07/17/2015 - 18:29 | 6325438 stormsailor
stormsailor's picture

that explains it,  i've often thought that mexican food smelled like dirty ass

Sat, 07/18/2015 - 20:21 | 6328175 BarkingCat
BarkingCat's picture

That because the workers do not wash their hands after taking a dump.

Fri, 07/17/2015 - 17:53 | 6325305 saints51
saints51's picture

A certain Act in 1913 states, "all your gold belong are us".

Fri, 07/17/2015 - 17:55 | 6325310 beavertails
beavertails's picture

Oh yes, turning shit into gold!  Why didn't Blythe Masters think of that?!

Fri, 07/17/2015 - 17:58 | 6325320 Winston Churchill
Winston Churchill's picture

Crapper Default Swaps.

Fri, 07/17/2015 - 18:12 | 6325373 Bastiat
Bastiat's picture

Blythe had a shit/gold spread product, I'm sure of it.  I guess that's actually the Comex pricing mechanism . .

Fri, 07/17/2015 - 22:22 | 6326068 MontgomeryScott
MontgomeryScott's picture

Shades of 'Mad Max: Beyond Thunderdome' here.

WHO run 'Barter Town'?

It's PIGSHIT.

Fri, 07/17/2015 - 18:02 | 6325335 Joebloinvestor
Joebloinvestor's picture

They will be trying to redeem Argentina bonds 100 years from now to.

Fri, 07/17/2015 - 18:42 | 6325484 Lumberjack
Lumberjack's picture

Well, the Conquistadors liberated a shitload of PM's from the locals. Kinda funny how things work out in the end.

Fri, 07/17/2015 - 18:56 | 6325513 mr66
mr66's picture

Northern. Pacific 3% 2047 1st motgage payable in gold coin. Court said gold outlawed FDR. Too bad .  then Burlington Northern somehow called in a non callable bond NYSE listed. We had GROUP called gold bond holders protective council.  Case went all the way thru appeals court. We wanted gold. Not deflated dollars.   Lost case..  Made some on the bods

Fri, 07/17/2015 - 18:03 | 6325339 cpnscarlet
cpnscarlet's picture

Barely seeing the humor given gold's run today.

Fri, 07/17/2015 - 22:25 | 6326086 MontgomeryScott
MontgomeryScott's picture

AHH! PAPER!

Good to wipe your ass with, or blow your nose with.

BUY THE FUCKING DIP, YOU FUCKING IDIOT.

PHYZ...

 

Fri, 07/17/2015 - 18:09 | 6325345 Lumberjack
Lumberjack's picture

Got Enron?

Fri, 07/17/2015 - 18:06 | 6325347 Salah
Salah's picture

Speaking of 'guano'...it's how the word "shit" got its moniker

Lloyds of London did a study after losing numerous guano ships before the advent of chemical fertilizer. They discovered it was low in the ship holds, often mixing with seawater from the bilges after a storm, and forming a gas some hapless seaman set off with an open-flame lantern, blowing the ships to smithereens. 

So they instructed the shipowners (their insurees) to place the guano up higher so this wouldn't happen, and the shipper labeled it "Store High in Transit"...and the acronym was born.

Fri, 07/17/2015 - 18:29 | 6325437 Billy the Poet
Billy the Poet's picture

Highly unlikely. The German word for "shit" is "scheisse." They obviously share their etymology. The "For Unlawful Carnal Knowledge" story is a fabrication as well.

Fri, 07/17/2015 - 18:40 | 6325480 SmedleyButlersGhost
SmedleyButlersGhost's picture

Fornication Under Consent of King?

Fri, 07/17/2015 - 19:52 | 6325644 knukles
knukles's picture

scheisse:  Schuabble es ein asse?

Fri, 07/17/2015 - 20:18 | 6325702 Billy the Poet
Billy the Poet's picture

Fornication Under Consent of King?

No, once again from the German, "ficken" originally meaning to strike or beat.

Fri, 07/17/2015 - 22:37 | 6326120 MontgomeryScott
MontgomeryScott's picture

I guess.

The entymological definition of Methane gas was made shortly after.

I'd really give a S.H.I.T., but right now things seem to be F.U.B.A.R. ... and I don't give a (Copper's) damn...

<S> on:

With the advent of the 'BIC' lighter, teenage boys across the world figured out that they could actually light their farts (based upon the theory that humans and all animals generate methane in their digestion processes). Al Gore (the Younger) later used this to his advantage, stating that methane was a threat to humanity (he still has no hair on his ass, due to his teen-age experiments).

Fri, 07/17/2015 - 18:06 | 6325348 news printer
news printer's picture

guano happens

Fri, 07/17/2015 - 18:06 | 6325350 cowdiddly
cowdiddly's picture

 I have some first hand experience with some old GM bonds that turned to Guano. Should I save them for 100 years?

Fri, 07/17/2015 - 18:21 | 6325408 New_Meat
New_Meat's picture

yes, then they can be sold as evidence that the Indiana State Pension System was royally screwed by that bat-guano Supreme.

Of course, that would be for the grandparents to give to the youngstaz' on a plaque: "Child, don't you do this shit, ya'heah?"

- Ned

Fri, 07/17/2015 - 22:43 | 6326137 MontgomeryScott
MontgomeryScott's picture

OF COURSE NOT.

If you would consider a bond swap, I am currently holding several billion dollars of Lehman common.

Of course, I'll have to charge a small premium...

 

Cramer

(Cramer-at-FEDRES.commie)

 

Fri, 07/17/2015 - 18:06 | 6325351 laomei
laomei's picture

Unfortunately, in the 1950s, Peru offered a series of different bonds for any and all outstanding bonds upon which the Peruvian government had defaulted. The offer was good until 1975, and, according to the World Court, settled any and all outstanding debt obligations for which the government was either directly responsible, or, as in the case of these bonds for the Guano Consignment Company, responsible as a guarantor. This is an intervening event.

Fri, 07/17/2015 - 21:45 | 6325917 Captain Willard
Captain Willard's picture

Right. Anything else would also be covered under the debt restructuring by the Republic of Peru in 1989.

It's a colorful claim, but I don't think it's going anywhere.

Fri, 07/17/2015 - 18:07 | 6325352 Hongcha
Hongcha's picture

I thought they meant Peru, Illinois ...

Fri, 07/17/2015 - 19:56 | 6325655 knukles
knukles's picture

I was momentarialy in Peru once for an eternity.  On my way down to Cairo (Illinios) goose hunting. 
Check this out.  Their best French resturant ....

http://www.americantowns.com/il/peru/yp/french-restaurants

At a state park.   Mes amis, c'est le turdamont!

Fri, 07/17/2015 - 18:09 | 6325364 BullyDog
BullyDog's picture

Now where did they put that lease.....

Robert Edwards was rewarded by Queen Anne with 77 acres of Manhattan for fighting the Spanish in the 18th century.

Legend has it that while sailing back to the UK, Edwards was killed in a storm and the titles to the prime New York land now known as Lower Manhattan sunk with him.

Ever since that time, successive generations of Edwardses in Wales and the US have tried to prove they should have inherited some of the most valuable land in America.

Fri, 07/17/2015 - 18:14 | 6325385 Possible Impact
Possible Impact's picture

Are they worried about retaliation?

"What are you Guano do when they come for you?"

 

Fri, 07/17/2015 - 18:21 | 6325404 J Jason Djfmam
J Jason Djfmam's picture

"I think you're some kind of deviated prevert"!

(Colonel Bat Guano from Dr.Strangelove)

 

Fri, 07/17/2015 - 18:23 | 6325416 Winston Churchill
Winston Churchill's picture

Love to see it repaid in tonnages of shit on their doorstep.

Fri, 07/17/2015 - 18:20 | 6325403 Berspankme
Berspankme's picture

MMA Consultants probably carrying the asset on balance sheet at par

Fri, 07/17/2015 - 18:37 | 6325464 Winston Churchill
Winston Churchill's picture

The Fed carries toxic shit ,at par ,on their balance sheet,so why not ?

Fri, 07/17/2015 - 19:58 | 6325656 knukles
knukles's picture

They're managing the South American Fixed Income mandate for CalPers.  LOL

Sat, 07/18/2015 - 07:18 | 6326617 Benjamin123
Benjamin123's picture

One afternoon i daydreamed about an accounting textbook including a chapter on "Marking to Fantasy". The chapter ought to explian the pros and cons. Pros being unlimited assets, cons being said assets not being liquid, like, at all. I thought that would be honest and technically right.

Fri, 07/17/2015 - 18:22 | 6325412 Berspankme
Berspankme's picture

My dad told me before he died that Abe lincoln owed his grandpa $137.00 and change. He said I should try and collect

Fri, 07/17/2015 - 18:36 | 6325452 Billy the Poet
Billy the Poet's picture

Give it a shot. They say Lincoln once walked ten miles to return a nickel so he might be willing to return from the grave over $137.

Fri, 07/17/2015 - 18:25 | 6325423 Tarzan
Tarzan's picture

 They'll have the same success the Chinese had on redeeming their 100 year old "FAKE" US bonds.

Fri, 07/17/2015 - 18:26 | 6325426 TeethVillage88s
TeethVillage88s's picture

Vulture Capitalism? Paul Singer Style?

Paid pennies to the 1000s of Peruvian Pesos?

Fri, 07/17/2015 - 18:27 | 6325429 stormsailor
stormsailor's picture

thats some funny shit

Fri, 07/17/2015 - 18:33 | 6325449 jtlien
jtlien's picture

Such gold clauses were ruled unconstitutional by the case of Perry vs United States in 1935.

Someday, out of necessity we will demand they be legalized again, but this may take a hyperinflation to get us back to sanity.

Fri, 07/17/2015 - 22:08 | 6326006 DriveByLurker
DriveByLurker's picture

Gold clauses became legal and enforceable again in the US if they are in contracts entered into after October of 1977.  See 31 USC 5118 (d)(2).    This has led to some surprises instances of contracts written before 1933 that had option for a renawal after 1977.  See for example this 2008 opinion from the 6th Circuit Court of Appeals dealing with a lease written in 1912 with a gold clause that renewed in 1982 using the same language.

 

http://www.ca6.uscourts.gov/opinions.pdf/08a0322p-06.pdf

 

 

Fri, 07/17/2015 - 18:52 | 6325504 kchrisc
kchrisc's picture

I would bet my hat that MMA Consultants 1, Inc. is really JustAnotherHenScheme1, Inc.

Liberty is a demand. Tyranny is submission.

Fri, 07/17/2015 - 19:17 | 6325558 Frankie Carbone
Frankie Carbone's picture

It's the ongoing effort by Americans from all four corners of the nation to make themselves truly despised and hated throughout the world. 

Pray to God that we are never conquered by a foreign power. Otherwise, I can see the populations of the world demanding extermination camps be set up to rid themselves of the Americans once and for all. 

For those of us that are US citizens, that'd be us. 

Fri, 07/17/2015 - 19:59 | 6325662 HowardBeale
HowardBeale's picture

I've lived in 6 countries beside the kleptocracy posing as the U.S.; you nailed it: Americans, universally hated everywhere. If I knew where the big red button was...

Fri, 07/17/2015 - 19:28 | 6325585 HowardBeale
HowardBeale's picture

Who da thought you could find something lower than whale shit (coincidental use of word) in Illinois. Just shoot these fuckers; Humanity doesn't have time for this shit (intended)!

Fri, 07/17/2015 - 19:36 | 6325607 Niall Of The Ni...
Niall Of The Nine Hostages's picture

I think it's obvious Lima won't pay up.

So all I want to know is where the bonds came from. An antique shop? Attic of fixer-upper vulture fund boss bought his trophy wife who needed a hobby?

Fri, 07/17/2015 - 19:49 | 6325641 CHC
CHC's picture

Hey Peru - Are you bat shit crazy - You obviously owe the money - just pay the hell up.  Enough with the bat shit already!

Fri, 07/17/2015 - 20:00 | 6325666 Able Ape
Able Ape's picture

My grandmother had a shitload of Polish bonds from the 1920's.  They worked great as kindling for my charcoal grill...

Fri, 07/17/2015 - 23:18 | 6326215 Clowns on Acid
Clowns on Acid's picture

Exactly... and those bonds where underwritten by JP Morgan bank and supposedly were "gold backed". However somehow Poland went bankrupt , the gold backing the bonds disappeared and JP Morgan delivered a sincere "sorry" to the bondholders.

Investors got wiped out. Bonds = 0.

 

Fri, 07/17/2015 - 22:09 | 6326018 Omega_Man
Omega_Man's picture

So they got some old bonds on ebay and are now trying to redeem them... ha, let me guess.... zionists

Fri, 07/17/2015 - 23:09 | 6326195 Dre4dwolf
Dre4dwolf's picture

This is where a time machine would come in handy.

People in the future might be dumb enough to pay this bond.

Sat, 07/18/2015 - 07:07 | 6326608 Benjamin123
Benjamin123's picture

They need to explain how they got the bonds. Obviously they have been inherited or passed along as gifts.

Did they pay income taxes associated with the gift?

Did they pay inheritance taxes?

Without the bond's story they wont collect.

If not a hoax most likely Peru defaulted due to "Force Majeure" after Chile (Britain) conquered the Atacama desert, home of the former guano and current copper mining chilean industry. There must be records of that transaction, of Peru defaulting and the bond owners accepting the loss.

Furthermore, the bond only states that $1000.GOLD are owed. What are $1000.GOLD?

Sat, 07/18/2015 - 10:15 | 6326817 NoBillsOfCredit
NoBillsOfCredit's picture

Gifts are not "income" according to the supreme court.

The bond says a whole lot more than $100.GOLD. See all that writing? In addition, a "dollar" is silver not gold. Gold coins with "dollar" on them issued bu the mint are called "eagles".

Sat, 07/18/2015 - 16:59 | 6327736 Bankster Kibble
Bankster Kibble's picture

Does this mean Confederate bonds are valuable?

Do NOT follow this link or you will be banned from the site!