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Tesla Douchebaggery
Last night, in my Model S, I happened to find an interesting site called TeslaTuner when I was searching for voice-activated commands supported by the car (this is kind of a secret feature, so I wanted to find out what I could utter besides "Play" for a song). Along with the guide to voice commands, though, was this little gem:
I just want to go on record here, as a Tesla owner myself, that any valet confronted with the message above is, by federal statute, permitted to drop a deuce into the front trunk of the vehicle, to be discovered later by any hopelessly middle-class douchebag who would dare leave such a self-important screen for you to see.
You're welcome.
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One last thing...speaking of douchebaggery just visit the website that Tim so graciously points to in his article... TeslaTuner.com
and the range of that Tesla "Model S" is? <this is where I laugh>
So tell us Tim, what do you actually drive when you leave Silicon Valley?
Next write about how stupid your new timeshare is. You alienate readers when you scribble a subject that only a few thousand Kalifornianites participate in.
Tim you are a giant douche... like a mini Elon Musk,
Section 178.3.2.1.(hairy).ethanal tax subsidies act of 2012 for battery powered vehicles for a guy who could not shine the shoes of his companies namesake:
"if a valet is blinded by the douchebaggery light, drop a douce, another runner in the night"
1 star.
Fuck that shit. I would rather drive a Russian 4x4 http://www.uaz.ru/en/cars/patriot for $10,000 brand new with a 3 year warranty.
Two words: Ferris Beuller!
Tim - You got me. I clicked on this article thinking you would actually have some interesting and valid commentary about the Dbag Tesla owners (mostly living in Silly Con Valley). By admitting to being an S owner you've just proven the following: Telsa driver = Dbag. (BTW - who refers to a Telsa by calling it a "Model S" - Dbags like you!)
F**k the souless valley and clowns like you who live in it!
I drive a rusty F250 that usually, but does not always, start.
One of its uses is to haul equine deuces, which go in the back.
Ask me why I should care about the function of a Tesla?
Drop a deuce in the front seat
And, if you leave this car out in the rain and it catches on fire you will be held personally responsible.
What do you expect from a subsidized shitcan? Maybe they can put up a warning about random fires.
The fires aren't so random -- it's those menacing curbs that jump out at Teslas and cause them to ignite.
The valet could just slip some panties in the drivers door pocket to be discovered by the wife later. Better than a deuce imho.
To make it more authentic,travel to Japan and pick up a stock of used panties/matched with a pic of the girl who wore them, they can be purchased out of out of vending machines.
This reminds me of how internet millionaires really made their bucks.
That's out-of-the-box thinking.
Let's be repetitious.
Let's be repetitious.
That's out-of-the-box thinking.
Empty condom wrapper.
Stands to reason, the same app allows them to monitor the movements of all Teslas all the time. A hacker might gather some interesting information.
The missing graph: Please enjoy defiling the car in a way that does not involve speed, location or energy usage.
Tim, please cite the federal statute that allows a valet to shit in a car he does not own.
It's the I'm so fancy and clearly you are not statute. Or you could just play you roll and provide full service by filling the thing with gas.
"Tim, please cite the federal statute that allows a valet to shit in a car he does not own."
Why not...it would be the organic thing to do. And part of the new sharing economy.
Actually its the 14 Amendment (Equal protection of the Law) TSLA is a subsidized piece of crap ergo the duece in the trunk to balance the books.
As opposed to the truly crappy, and subsidized, shit to come out of Detroit for the last 40 years.
It's a little-known codicil in the bylaws of Faber college.
It's a little-known codicil in the bylaws of Faber college.
please cite the federal statute...
I think it's in there in principle where it says the current (s)elected individual holding the office of POTUS is to move into 1600 Pennsylvania Ave.
The TSA is doing valet parking now too? I did not know that. Back in the day the valet would just leave a open condom wrapper on the passenger door sill. Ah the good old days.
Sounds like olde English Common Law
Magna Carta.
Magna Crappa!