$2800/Mth To Live In Oakland - Where Cops Say Don't Bother Calling If Your Car Is Stolen

Tyler Durden's picture

Over the last 5 years, rent costs in the city of Oakland have doubled. At $2,807 per month it more expensive to live in Oakland now than it was in SanFrancisco in 2012, so one would expect the city to have 'cleaned up', and 'be safer'? However, as SFGate reports, the city laid off 80 officers today to help eliminate a $30.5 million budget deficit, prompting the department to announce that officers would no longer be dispatched to take reports for most nonviolent crimes. "With current levels of staffing, we are unable to respond to many lower-priority calls," said Officer Jeff Thomason, a police spokesman.

Instead, Oakland residents now have to file certain crime reports online or visit a police station. Those without a computer can ask that a blank form be mailed to them or pick one up at a library.


Over the past two years, residents have been able to go to oaklandpolice.com and report lost property, theft, vandalism, vehicle burglary and vehicle tampering. In the past, however, people could ask for an officer to come take a report. That will no longer be the case.


By Aug. 2, Oakland police intend to expand the online system - called Coplogic - so residents can report seven other types of crimes, including residential burglaries in which the suspects aren't known.


"There will be no follow-up investigation and the primary purpose for filing the report is for insurance purposes," according to the department.

So don't bother calling the cops for the following crimes...Oakland police now ask residents to report online:

  • Lost property
  • Theft
  • Vandalism
  • Vehicle burglary
  • Vehicle tampering

Other crimes that will be reported online starting Aug. 2:

  • Residential burglary
  • Identity theft
  • Annoying or harassing phone calls
  • Barking dogs
  • Restraining order violations
  • Court order violations
  • Runaways

*  *  *

For $2,800 per month (double what it was 5 years ago) perhaps one should expect just a little more law and a lot more order...

Comment viewing options

Select your preferred way to display the comments and click "Save settings" to activate your changes.
HonkyShogun's picture
HonkyShogun (not verified) symtex411 Jul 21, 2015 1:05 PM

LOL. Ookland.

pods's picture

How do I fill out a form online if my computer was stolen?


Paveway IV's picture

You just have to have really, really skinny arms - but it can be done.

Billy the Poet's picture

the online system - called Coplogic


This is coplogic:


Police Constable Pan Am


Theosebes Goodfellow's picture

It's important to point out that the city that became Oakland was first a squatters camp on the Peralta Family land, (Californios). And it appears not much has changed.

Bear in mind that you cannot get a CCW permit from the Chief of Police of the City of Oakland. They just don't hand them out. So Oaklandites can now enjoy the good life without the protection of 80 or so cops on the beat whilst paying the highest rents anywhere in the USA. Way to go, Oakland!!!

(By the way, congratulations East Bay liberals, you've earned this!)

Creepy A. Cracker's picture

Do you know how much crack an Obama-son has to sell to pay rent in Oakland?!?!?!  Even the crack dealers are strugg'n to make ends meet.  EBT gots to be jacked up to $5K per month there.

kaiserhoff's picture

What difference does the "rent" make, when everyone is on welfare?

Calipornia is doomed.

EBT excepted's picture

5k, we comed a long ways babee, dat serasly nigrow rich...

PartysOver's picture

Zero sympathy or concern for anyone living in California.

junction's picture

Coplogic is the right name for this program.  Tell the sheeple the truth, unless there is money to be made, say from parking tickets or redlight fines, the police are MIA.

A Nanny Moose's picture

Police are little more than overpaid janitors, who mop up grease stains, while playing with chalk and yellow tape. That's if your lucky.

They are the blunt instruments of all totalitarian political systems.

Hippocratic Oaf's picture

Who the fuck would live in SF or Oakland?

Last time I was there, you literally couldn't walk the streets for the homeless.

Kaiser Sousa's picture

if u were here ud know the homeless is the last of ur worries....

fishwharf's picture

I lived and worked in SF & Oakland for many years.  I got used to the homeless.  They were a constant reminder of how lucky I am.  What I couldn't get used to was the terrible traffic and extreme difficulty finding a parking spot without getting an expensive ticket.

The small city I live in now has no parking meters or meter maids.  For the most part I liked living in the Bay Area, but I could never go back.

Occams_Chainsaw's picture

Who runs Bartertown?

drendebe10's picture

WTF...80 officers laid off for budget deficit..... WTF...  how about laying off 80% of the paper pushing, coffee drinking, meeting going bureaucrats???

Wife's daughter is a NICU RN and tells us all the time how the hospital system is laying RNs and others who provide direct care to patients but never hears of any layoffs for all the bureaucrats runnin around the hospital who just push papers...... 




NidStyles's picture

Who will lay off the peons if they reduce the managerial staff????

maknyc's picture

It costs $2800 a month....why?  Because people are willing to pay it!  If the marginal resident threw in the towel and moved someplace where the cost/benefit was better, then rents/prices would eventually go down!  Simple.

headhunt's picture

property taxes drive those ridiculous rents

madcows's picture

Socialism costs.

Somebody has got to pay for all those programs, and california is the home of the FSA.

roisaber's picture

Look, Simba, everything the light touches is yours.

Wow! But what about that shadowy place?

That is Oakland. You must never go there, Simba.

madcows's picture

where's the "Rents too damn high" guy?

BoPeople's picture
BoPeople (not verified) Jul 21, 2015 1:11 PM

Let me guess, they have city water commissioners making 7 figures.

MayIMommaDogFace2theBananaPatch's picture

Golden Gate Bridge Transportation District <FTW>

pods's picture

Any "crime" for which the state will not receive some type of cash for will be removed from their list of crimes.
Betcha they fucking hand out tickets like candy though, and there is a $300 court fee too.


EscapingProgress's picture

"The salary of Oakland officers is another controversial issue. Police Officer Entry Level current annual salary is $69,912 to $98,088, the second highest in the country.  Additional pay increases are granted to higher-ranking officers. Average total compensation for an OPD employee is $162,000. In 2012, 179 Oakland police officers took home over $200,000 in total compensation. Three patrol officers, a sergeant, and a captain each took home over $300,000. In 2011 the Police Department's costs make up 44% of the city's $400 million general budget.

Unfunded police pension liabilities are a separate high cost to the city. In 2010, the Oakland Police and Fire Retirement system granted $70 million in benefits to 1,086 pensioners. In 2012 the city successfully sued the city's pension system to end an estimated $11.5 million in unlawful overpayment to retired police and fire fighters."


headhunt's picture

With $2800/month just to rent you need to make $162k; approximately $68,000 gross would go to rent alone never mind the psychotropic drugs needed to cope with being surrounded by far,far, leftists 24/7

Model T's picture

It gets worse; they're not only overpaid; they're useless. My Step-Father once shot a dude's hat off of his head who was opening the door on my dad's PU Truck; with a .38 spl. You'd be amazed how fast a pimp can run in two tone street shoes. No, no cops came to "vestigate" the .38 round. We lived on 98th. Avenue; the Cops knew better. If it wasn't heavy machine gun fire; they weren't interested.

moneybots's picture

"Average total compensation for an OPD employee is $162,000"


That is why 80 officers lost their job.  That is why Franklin Roosevelt was opposed to public service unions.



10mm's picture

On are way to a nationalized Police Force.

EscapingProgress's picture

"Since a 2003 incident involving alleged police misconduct, the Oakland Police Department has been under federal oversight. Ever since, the department has struggled with a potential federal takeover."


slaughterer's picture

$2,800/m to live in Oakland and watch the crack addicts twitch psychotically while running to the train stop?   Only in Obama/Yellen's AMERIKA. 

kchrisc's picture

"the city laid off 80 officers today to help eliminate a $30.5 million budget deficit"

City of Oakland just got safer.

Pertinent is that the investigation and prosecution of property crimes by the gun and badge thugs, police, is their essential duty within their mandate of providing justice. That they have openly abdicated those responsibilities, but of course will continue to terrorize the people with money, Liberty, and Life stealing treason and tyranny, only proves what they really are--tyrannical and treasonous thieves.

Liberty is a demand. Tyranny is submission..


And as proven by the Eric Garner murder, the gun and badge thugs work and ply their tyranny on behalf of Zion's grifting banksters.

NihilistZero's picture

Housing Bubble 2.0 at work.  This is going to end VERY badly...

Christophe2's picture

Meh.  It's just money and BS.

I rent and life is simple.  I just got some revoltingly stinky new neighbors, so I'll probably move next year: problem solved, for me at least.  I'll also be moving to a cheaper part of town, so my rent will go down by 30%.

But all those people who so desperately care about becoming rich in a system of lies and fraud will very likely 'end badly'.  Too bad for them!

WTFUD's picture

Just waiting for Grievous Bodily Harm (GBH) and Attempted Murder to be added to those Don't bother us Lists.

chinoslims's picture

When is Robocop gonna be invented?  It worked for Detroit in the movie maybe it will work for Oakland. 

As for present-day Detroit, fuck it.  They'll need the Terminator.

10mm's picture

Restraining order violations. Get ready for body counts. Same with court order violations. Identity theft. Your fucked anyway for yrs. FBI steps in.

large_wooden_badger's picture

Even the "Occupy" crowd threw in the towel long ago. Nothing left but a shitty NFL team for a few months of the year.

fishwharf's picture

There is also a pretty fair baseball tem in Oakland, at least until Lew Wolff can find a better home for his team.

large_wooden_badger's picture

If Obama had founded a city...

seek's picture


Total buget is $1.2B. Cops take $212M of that. Combined pensions are about $150M, more than what they spend on fire protection.

A few more years, there will be zero city services, but higher property taxes, all funding union-negotiated retirement plans that veer well into "freeloader" territory.

kchrisc's picture

Never forget that the other parties involved with pensions are Wall Street (buncos), and the banksters.

The pols and crats rob the people with the threat of using their thugs against them. They then turnover a portion of the loot to the buncos and banksters to supposedly fund future pension payments to themselves and their thugs.

The buncos and banksters steal the loot again, and use it to fund fiat-debt and/or support the looting of capital via manipulated markets. Much of the fiat-debt is loaned, with usury attached, to the very same jurisdictions who the banksters robbed in the first place. The banksters then demand tyranny in the service of usury on their fiat debts, and in meeting their demands of stealing more in the name of "pensions."

The "Tyranny Cycle?"

The irony is that the chief looters at the local level, the slithers, pols and crats, work in conjunction with the buncos and banksters to also rob their thugs of their, not so rightly earned, pensions. LOL

But then who cares?! Guillotine them all and let God, or other deity, sort them out.

Liberty is a demand. Tyranny is submission..

Mike Honcho's picture

Tyler wrote an article based on my post yesterday, an honor really.  Who (non-minority) in their right mind would stay there.  This is the dinner bell to criminals.

Kaiser Sousa's picture

pose that question to all the tech fucks who have been priced outta SF.....

and they will soon be running for the hills...

i know cause im in the Bay Area....