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China Rescue, VIX Crash, & Fed Pump Squeeze Shorts Most In 6 Months, Trannies Bounce Most Since 2011

Tyler Durden's picture




 

Summing up the talking heads opinions on China, Twitter, Yelp... and so on..

 

Overnight exuberance in the afternoon session in China....

Provided the first momo pump in US stocks (but that faded back to unch ahead of the open and dismal housing data), FOMC prep sent us spiking before investors realized that while dovish it basically suggests the economy is crap...

 

Cash indices never looked back with a small pump'n'dump after the Fed statement...

 

This is Trannies best 2-day ramp since 2011...

 

Leaving everybody happy since Friday...

 

All about avoiding a red print Year-To-Date...

 

TWTR was clubbed like a baby seal...

 

VIX crushed to 11 handle briefly...The Matterhorn Pattern completed...

 

Which is no big surprise...

 

Treasury yields ended the day higher, with the curve steepening modestly... initialk kneejerk was bonds rallied after FOMC...

 

The US Dollar surged after FOMC - despite its dovish tone...

 

Silver jumped but gold was flat as copper and crude popped...

 

Saudi rumors on production cuts, US inventory draws, and the biggest US production drop since Oct 2013 sent crude soaring but The Fed pissed in the pool party arguing that things are not quite as awesome as they hoped...

 

 

Charts: Bloomberg

Bonus Chart: Data Dependent Fed misses window...

Bonus Bonus Chart: Remember this...

 

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Wed, 07/29/2015 - 16:09 | 6368434 JustObserving
JustObserving's picture

It is suicidal to be short in manipulated markets.  Unless you are short gold and silver - then you have the Fed working for you.

Wed, 07/29/2015 - 16:15 | 6368478 mayhem_korner
mayhem_korner's picture

It's suicidal to be anything but the manipulator in a manipulated market.

Wed, 07/29/2015 - 17:17 | 6368749 NoDebt
NoDebt's picture

ANyone around here remember what happened in 2008?  Yeah, me neither.  Party on.

Wed, 07/29/2015 - 18:34 | 6369071 MrTouchdown
MrTouchdown's picture

Go back in time and give your mother an abortion - Barry HO

Wed, 07/29/2015 - 16:17 | 6368486 CrazyCooter
CrazyCooter's picture

The Matterhorn pattern ... LMAO!

I wonder if a ZH intern has screenies of all the mountain tops in the world and is constatntly trying to curve fit charts ... I think I like it more than the deer!

Regards,

Cooter

Wed, 07/29/2015 - 20:20 | 6369399 reTARD
reTARD's picture

LOL, I was laughing at the same thing! Might as well call it the "Yellen Bulge."

Wed, 07/29/2015 - 16:22 | 6368511 yrad
yrad's picture

I love how CNNMoney has their "Fear and Greed Index" at "Extream Fear" levels after the DOW jumps 120+ points. Nothing to see here...

http://money.cnn.com/data/markets/

 

 

Wed, 07/29/2015 - 16:39 | 6368588 World citizen
World citizen's picture

Same for long... the secret is to understand the manipulatiion, that is really basic... If you get there, you can anticipate the market easily..

Wed, 07/29/2015 - 19:58 | 6369335 Dethrone The Ba...
Dethrone The Banksters's picture

until the market shuts down overnight while you're sleeping; time for a hair cut bzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz don't go chasing pennies in front of a steamroller ... besides, participating in this system enables and gives approval to these scumbag banksters

Wed, 07/29/2015 - 16:08 | 6368444 i_call_you_my_base
i_call_you_my_base's picture

Fuck the fed fiends.

Wed, 07/29/2015 - 16:22 | 6368471 Callz d Ballz
Callz d Ballz's picture

OT & 2nd post:  Rep Mark Meadow R-NC submitted a resolution this am to oust Boehner from his speakership position due to his long list of dereliction of duties stemming from inaction and moves to make congress subservient to judicial and executive powers.  Boehner's circles are highly pissed of course which motivates me to make a call to my congress critters to support this move, albeit in vain most likely.  Any chance though to stick it to the old guard is good IMO... 

http://hotair.com/archives/2015/07/29/summer-revolt-as-mark-meadows-file...

Wed, 07/29/2015 - 16:14 | 6368474 101 years and c...
101 years and counting's picture

all this cb lying and printing and manipulating stocks and threatening beheadings for selling stocks......just to keep stocks from imploding.  we're not making new highs.  just trying to fight off reality. it cant last much longer.  it wont last much longer.

Wed, 07/29/2015 - 16:17 | 6368485 mayhem_korner
mayhem_korner's picture

 

 

Oh it can last quite a bit longer...longer than your Viagra can last, fer sure.

Wed, 07/29/2015 - 16:36 | 6368570 Baa baa
Baa baa's picture

Sounds like you've had experience in that area...

Wed, 07/29/2015 - 16:15 | 6368479 stant
stant's picture

" we are now returning to your regularly schedual shit show Carry on"

Wed, 07/29/2015 - 16:20 | 6368495 TeethVillage88s
TeethVillage88s's picture

I could use a laugh, can anyone post a link to Trannies?

OR alternately post a picture of Giants in China from like 80 years ago or something?

It is sort of my thing... like painting tally whackers in gold.

Wed, 07/29/2015 - 16:36 | 6368571 TeethVillage88s
TeethVillage88s's picture

Jas, Vier haben dass. Dass ist Sheisse.

The Trannie pics must be hiding blemishes like I got on my skin.

I call Photo-Shop Bullshit.

But thanks for playing "Post that Tranny".

BTW I am uneducated on the tequila girl tranny or whatever her name is on some reality show. I guess if it is main stream I only know Arthur Ash and Billie Jean King. Oh Ru Paul made a splash last election about supporting someone... I think it was a joke or a strategy to pull votes away from someone.

Wed, 07/29/2015 - 17:41 | 6368887 g'kar
g'kar's picture

I saw the Tijuana donkey show once. That was enough.

Wed, 07/29/2015 - 18:00 | 6368970 TeethVillage88s
TeethVillage88s's picture

I can sort of verify that. I was in El Paso and went to Juarez, a nice guy was showing me around a little... it ended up at a donkey show or whatever that I didn't want to participate in... At that point we severed the relationship.

I now know that many Tourist attractions are set up for Americans Exclusively or nearly so.

- Is it like the Aztecs, Toltec's or Olmec's?

Wed, 07/29/2015 - 18:04 | 6368986 g'kar
g'kar's picture

Well, I know it wasn't an Aztec show as they weren't lopping off any heads. From what I can remember of the show, the donkey (a painted horse) got the worst of it.

Wed, 07/29/2015 - 16:29 | 6368541 TeethVillage88s
TeethVillage88s's picture

His methods had become unsound.

He began posting replies to his own words.

He eschewed the Norm.

He rejected the Market.

He Said the Governance was Shiite before the government imported Shiites...

There was a profound Malaise upon the Land...

True.

Wed, 07/29/2015 - 17:17 | 6368746 J Jason Djfmam
J Jason Djfmam's picture

I...see no method at all.

Wed, 07/29/2015 - 17:47 | 6368917 TeethVillage88s
TeethVillage88s's picture

And yet, the Djfmam remains illiterate, uneducated, uninformed, and can't even post bullets since he never worked anywhere since he never had a degree.

I don't hold it against you. No doubt many of your friends hold it against you. You have a home here at Zh you dumb shit.

Wed, 07/29/2015 - 18:02 | 6368965 J Jason Djfmam
J Jason Djfmam's picture

Touche', douche.:{D

Wed, 07/29/2015 - 16:22 | 6368504 g'kar
g'kar's picture

Is this a cut and paste of yesterday? Nevermind.

Wed, 07/29/2015 - 16:26 | 6368523 Chuck Knoblauch
Chuck Knoblauch's picture

My fortune cookie says bullshit.

Wed, 07/29/2015 - 16:28 | 6368538 Baby Eating Dingo22
Baby Eating Dingo22's picture

A patched up cracking tire tube in the middle of the Indian Ocean with a waterspout bearing down can't really be considered a rescue, can it?

Wed, 07/29/2015 - 16:32 | 6368555 Baby Eating Dingo22
Baby Eating Dingo22's picture

Bonus chart or

Bogus chart?

How dare you mock economists!!

Wed, 07/29/2015 - 16:34 | 6368564 Tribulation Blues
Tribulation Blues's picture

According to the Obama prophecies the US dollar will crash at about the same time he is assassinated!

Daniel Chapter 7 says the AC will be the leader of a powerful and diverse nation that breaks in pieces many other nations. Also that he will be diverse from all other leaders of that nation, (first black) and.. that he will be the 11th leader to come out of that powerful nation, (Obama is  the 11th POTUS since WW2 when the US became a superpower)

Daniel 11, says he will change times and laws, and have no desire of women! See numerous prophecies from Jesus in late 08 also confirming that Obama is the AC. They are posted at www.revelation12.ca and have been 'spot on' thus far...

We now await the assassination, and then the Rev 13 resurrection by Satan....

Wed, 07/29/2015 - 17:23 | 6368778 J Jason Djfmam
J Jason Djfmam's picture

Will you go away if it doesn't happen?

 

Wed, 07/29/2015 - 17:35 | 6368849 roisaber
roisaber's picture

Of course not; they never fucking go away.

 

Nero is the Antichrist! Charlemagne is the Antichrist! Henry VIII is the Antichrist! No wait, we mean Martin Luther, and we really mean it this time! Oops just kidding we meant Hitler. I mean I mean Khrushchev. No wait it's Bill Clinton! I mean Obama!

Wed, 07/29/2015 - 17:46 | 6368909 Seek_Truth
Seek_Truth's picture

False prophet.

There will be no assassination.

There won't be any asteroid either.

You don't understand Daniel 7 & 11 or Revelation 12 & 13, that is very clear.

Wed, 07/29/2015 - 17:51 | 6368935 roisaber
roisaber's picture

Oh look, the idiot is disagreeing with the idiot about how to interpret a poorly authored fantasy novel.

Wed, 07/29/2015 - 17:59 | 6368967 g'kar
g'kar's picture

Dicktator Obola and Damien (Omen) have much in common.

Wed, 07/29/2015 - 16:35 | 6368566 lasvegaspersona
lasvegaspersona's picture

So...everything is awesome...again?

They should just skip reporting all the problems because they just 'fix' them in a hurry and we are back to 'fantastic'.

Why bother with frightening people?

Wed, 07/29/2015 - 16:39 | 6368583 Chuck Knoblauch
Chuck Knoblauch's picture

Stop bouncing me off my ISP, asshole.

It's annoying and pointless.

Wed, 07/29/2015 - 16:43 | 6368601 jubber
jubber's picture

Just no end to this shit, and Facepig just went green LOL

Wed, 07/29/2015 - 17:13 | 6368736 Xscream
Xscream's picture

Seems the markets prosperity is dependent on mobile advertising sales and i-phone 6 sales, and the FED never ever raising rates again. So long as those conditions last everything is awesome sarc/  

 

Wed, 07/29/2015 - 17:19 | 6368756 NoDebt
NoDebt's picture

See?  You got it.  Not that tough to understand.

Wed, 07/29/2015 - 18:42 | 6369095 R19
R19's picture

Maybe someone should write a Yelp review about the markets. 

Wed, 07/29/2015 - 21:44 | 6369619 buzzy_the_pirate_dog
buzzy_the_pirate_dog's picture

Fuck it.  Still money to be made.  All shit, but real money.  Of course in 12 months we may be in camps bartering ass for smokes.  But at least for now, BTFD.  Dumbasses...

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