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Brazil's Economy Slides Into Depression, And Now Olympians Will Be Swimming In Feces

Tyler Durden's picture




 

Back on December 29 of last year, we explained how under the burden of its soaring current account deficit, and its its first primary fiscal deficit since 1998, not to mention numerous corruption scandals and a dysfunctional monetary policy, the Brazilian economy "just imploded." We also noted the main reason for the Latin American collapse: Brazil had for the past decade become China's favorite source of commodities, and now that China suddenly no longer needed commodities, the Brazilian economy went into freefall.

We followed this up a month later with "Brazil's Economy Is On The Verge Of Total Collapse" which repeated more of the same, only this time the situation was even worse.

It took the rating agencies 7 months to figure out what our readers had known since 2014, when two days ago S&P downgraded Brazil's credit rating from Stable to Negative citing, what else, the "sharp deterioration of the growth and fiscal consolidation outlook and heightened political/institutional friction" adding that "the negative outlook reflects the agency’s view of a “greater than one–in–three likelihood that the policy correction will face further slippage given fluid political dynamics and that the return to a firmer growth trajectory will take longer than expected."

In other words, Brazil is about to become the next BRIC to follow Russia into junk territory:

 

Goldman followed up S&P with a report in which it said "There is nothing so bad it couldn't get worse!" tongue in cheekly because it noted that "records show that over the last 11 years we cannot find a period with a strictly-worse growth-inflation outcome than that of 2Q2015 . That is, since 1Q2004 there has not been a single quarter in which we had simultaneously higher inflation and lower growth than during 2Q2015 (i.e., there are no data points in the lower right quadrant in Exhibit 1). In fact, in 96% of the 46 quarters between 1Q2004 and 2Q2015 the economy was delivering simultaneously higher growth and lower inflation than during 2Q2015 (upper left quadrant of Exhibit 1). Finally, during the remaining 4% of the quarters, the economy was performing better in one component—recording lower growth (4Q2008 and 1Q2009) but also much lower inflation than currently (located in lower-left quadrant).

Exhibit 1: 2Q2015 - A sour macroeconomic spot: Very High Inflation and declining growth

In short, the Brazilian economy has never been worse and just to hammer that point home, Goldman added a chart which makes it quite clear that Brazil is not in a recession: it is almost certainly in a depression at this moment - note the recession bar on the chart below and where it is now.

One can debate what is causing this until one is blue in the face, and Goldman does, repeating once again that it is the collapsing current and fiscal accounts that are the culprits for Brazil's depression...

The sizeable current account deficit and rapidly widening fiscal deficit are also a significant source of market concern. We repeated the same exercise above, this time with a two-dimensional vector that contains the fiscal and current account balances vs. growth and inflation. The two deficits together are now tracking at over 12% of GDP of GDP, by far the worst combined outcome in more than a decade. Exhibit 3 shows that over the last 11.5 years (since Jan-04) we cannot identify a month with a strictly-worse fiscal-CA deficit outcome than that of May-14 (lower left quadrant is empty). In fact, at 7.9% of GDP the fiscal deficit is now the widest it has ever been since Jan-04, and there were only a few months (5 out of 137 months in the sample) were the current account deficit was marginally wider than currently.

 

... but it doesn't really matter: whether it is China, whether it is runaway stagflation, whether it is simple politician greed and corruption, Brazil has passed the recession phase and its economy is in absolute free fall.

The result is that the local central bank is about to lose control: despite soaring inflation, overnight the central bank Monetary Policy Committee hiked the Selic policy rate by another +50bp, to 14.25%. This was the sixth consecutive 50bp rate hike following the initial 25bp hike on October 29. What made this hike unique is that the policy statement was modified by adding a sentence that openly indicated that the tightening cycle ended yesterday, and that the policy rate will remain at the current level for a prolonged period of time.

In other words, Brazil's central bank has given up on fighting inflation and is instead hoping to stabilize what little is left of the economy.

Unfortunately, it may be too little too late, and now both the market...

... and the local population as the following Evercore ISI chart of consumer confidence shows...

...have finally figured out what it means when your economy snaps shut as your biggest trading partner suddenly shuts its doors.

Unfortunately, it is getting even worse, as a cursory scan of headlines in just the past 24 hours reveals:

But the Brazilian economy hit its metaphorical, and literal, bottom earlier today when AP reported that, with the Brazil Olympics of 2016 just about 1 year away, "athletes in next year's Summer Olympics here will be swimming and boating in waters so contaminated with human feces that they risk becoming violently ill and unable to compete in the games."

An AP analysis of water quality revealed dangerously high levels of viruses and bacteria from human sewage in Olympic and Paralympic venues — results that alarmed international experts and dismayed competitors training in Rio, some of whom have already fallen ill with fevers, vomiting and diarrhea.

In other words, competitors in Brazil's olympic games will be swimming in shit.

How is this possible? Simple: the government promised it would fix everything, and the IOC believed it. Now, the moment of truth arrives and it is literally covered in feces.

Brazilian officials have assured that the water will be safe for the Olympic athletes and the medical director of the International Olympic Committee said all was on track for providing safe competing venues. But neither the government nor the IOC tests for viruses, relying on bacteria testing only.

 

Extreme water pollution is common in Brazil, where the majority of sewage is not treated. Raw waste runs through open-air ditches to streams and rivers that feed the Olympic water sites.

 

As a result, Olympic athletes are almost certain to come into contact with disease-causing viruses that in some tests measured up to 1.7 million times the level of what would be considered hazardous on a Southern California beach.

 

Despite decades of official pledges to clean up the mess, the stench of raw sewage still greets travelers touching down at Rio's international airport. Prime beaches are deserted because the surf is thick with putrid sludge, and periodic die-offs leave the Olympic lake, Rodrigo de Freitas, littered with rotting fish.

 

"What you have there is basically raw sewage," said John Griffith, a marine biologist at the Southern California Coastal Water Research Project. Griffith examined the protocols, methodology and results of the AP tests.

 

"It's all the water from the toilets and the showers and whatever people put down their sinks, all mixed up, and it's going out into the beach waters. Those kinds of things would be shut down immediately if found here," he said, referring to the U.S.

As AP notes, more than 10,000 athletes from 205 nations are expected to compete in next year's Olympics. Nearly 1,400 of them will be sailing in the waters near Marina da Gloria in Guanabara Bay, swimming off Copacabana beach, and canoeing and rowing on the brackish waters of the Rodrigo de Freitas Lake. They will all be delighted to learn about the "quality" of the water they will be swimming in: "Everybody runs the risk of infection in these polluted waters," said Dr. Carlos Terra, a hepatologist and head of a Rio-based association of doctors specializing in the research and treatment of liver diseases.

The AP commissioned four rounds of testing in each of those three Olympic water venues, and also in the surf off Ipanema Beach, which is popular with tourists but where no events will be held. Thirty-seven samples were checked for three types of human adenovirus, as well as rotavirus, enterovirus and fecal coliforms.

 

The AP viral testing, which will continue in the coming year, found not one water venue safe for swimming or boating, according to global water experts.

The irony is that most countries go broke after the Olympics, when the spending on infrastructure and facilities dries up. Brazil may be the first nation in recent history to have imploded before the Olympics.

In the meantime, just like Greece, Brazil promised to stars and the moon...

In its Olympic bid, Rio officials vowed the games would "regenerate Rio's magnificent waterways" through a $4 billion government expansion of basic sanitation infrastructure. It was the latest in a long line of promises that have already cost Brazilian taxpayers more than $1 billion — with very little to show for it.

Rio's historic sewage problem spiraled over the past decades as the population exploded, with many of the metropolitan area's 12 million residents settling in the vast hillside slums that ring the bay.

... and delivered, well, 1.7 million times the normal amount of crap. And now reality comes crashing back with a bang:

As the clock ticks down, local officials have dialed back their promises. Rio Gov. Luiz Fernando Pezao has acknowledged "there's not going to be time" to finish the cleanup of the bay ahead of the games.

 

Rio Mayor Eduardo Paes has said it's a "shame" the Olympic promises wouldn't be met, adding the games are proving "a wasted opportunity" as far as the waterways are concerned.

 

But the Rio Olympic organizing committee's website still states that a key legacy of the games will be "the rehabilitation and protection of the area's environment, particularly its bays and canals" in areas where water sports will take place.

Just don't hold your breath. Or actually, if you want to avoid the smell, hold it.

We end with a note of hope for our Greek readers: yes life is bad, and it won't get better for a long time, but it could always be get worse: you, too, could be swimming in feces.

 

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Thu, 07/30/2015 - 15:57 | 6372341 CPL
CPL's picture

Yes, but at no extra cost*. (*except safety, health and civil santitation)

Thu, 07/30/2015 - 16:00 | 6372366 ZippyBananaPants
ZippyBananaPants's picture

Feces, awesome!  

Thu, 07/30/2015 - 16:04 | 6372382 nuubee
nuubee's picture

Is swimming in feces worse than swimming in performance enhancing drugs and used condoms like any other olympics?

Thu, 07/30/2015 - 16:11 | 6372404 NoDebt
NoDebt's picture

Well, no.  Not unless you consider amoebic dysentery a "performance enhancement".  Just tell them first place in the race is also first to use the bathroom.

Thu, 07/30/2015 - 16:16 | 6372434 813kml
813kml's picture

A few million gallons of Corexit will sink that shit out of sight.

Thu, 07/30/2015 - 16:20 | 6372445 knukles
knukles's picture

This is what man gets for overpopulating the planet and irresponsible personal behavior encouraged by modern redistributionist governments.

Thu, 07/30/2015 - 16:26 | 6372468 crazytechnician
crazytechnician's picture

This is just some light preparation for the real one when the athletes will get out of the water glowing green.

Thu, 07/30/2015 - 16:49 | 6372590 ali-ali-al-qomfri
ali-ali-al-qomfri's picture

the Tokyo Glow

Thu, 07/30/2015 - 16:52 | 6372606 JohnG
JohnG's picture

SHIT, bitchez.....

Thu, 07/30/2015 - 17:00 | 6372651 Wary Hanger
Wary Hanger's picture

Spaulding Smails 4 the GOLD!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MYrY8aFCUCQ

Thu, 07/30/2015 - 17:26 | 6372743 Creepy A. Cracker
Creepy A. Cracker's picture

I LOVE socialism and its close cousins.  What other system will have its people (and guests) swim in poop and be proud of it?

BYOB, peoples.  Bring Your Own Bleach...

Thu, 07/30/2015 - 17:32 | 6372791 PrayingMantis
PrayingMantis's picture

 

 
 ... "... And Now Olympians Will Be Swimming In Feces" ...

   uh-huh ... you mean, like, New York's "Hudson River polluted with high levels of antibiotic-resistant bacteria" >>> http://www.nydailynews.com/new-york/uptown/germs-hudson-shiver-article-1.1403635  ... or ... "Report Reveals Hudson River and Wildlife Have Suffered Decades of Extensive Chemical Contamination" ... >>> http://response.restoration.noaa.gov/about/media/report-reveals-hudson-river-and-wildlife-have-suffered-decades-extensive-chemical-contam ... and despite this deadly polluted soup, they even held a "NYC’s first ever Olympic-style games" over the Hudson River last month but the lamestream media didn't pick up on the high levels of bacteria and chemical pollution and let the people express their competitive spirit ...

or, how about this >>> "The 11 Most Polluted Beaches In The US" ... >>> http://www.businessinsider.com/most-polluted-beaches-in-us-2013-6?op=1

... olympians all over the world will always be swimming in feces because that's where all our sewer ends up in ... it's hardly something to crow about ...

Thu, 07/30/2015 - 17:42 | 6372848 neidermeyer
neidermeyer's picture

This is MANY orders of magnitude worse... Compared to Brazil and these Olympic venues Indias water off their major cities is PRISTINE.

Thu, 07/30/2015 - 18:00 | 6372921 El Oregonian
El Oregonian's picture

100 yard Brack Stroke...

Thu, 07/30/2015 - 18:39 | 6373062 Amish FinEng
Amish FinEng's picture

Brazil is provocative on the outside but rotten to the core.

No wonder The American English fantasize about the place!

Thu, 07/30/2015 - 23:36 | 6373998 COSMOS
COSMOS's picture

Not too long ago I recall surfing in manhattan beach calif, and seeing tiny shreds of toilet paper in the water all around me and extending quite a ways down the beach. I am sure the feces were just a little further under the water.  I got out of course.  Dont bag on Brazil, usa is not that much better.

Thu, 07/30/2015 - 18:05 | 6372940 Antifaschistische
Antifaschistische's picture

This really isn't that big of a deal....tell all the residents of Rio to start crapping in a bucket three weeks prior to the Olympic Ceremonies....continue doing so until the games finish...then, they can empty their buckets.  problem solved.   

Thu, 07/30/2015 - 20:16 | 6373353 StateofFraud
Thu, 07/30/2015 - 20:17 | 6373354 StateofFraud
StateofFraud's picture

Poop dupe

Thu, 07/30/2015 - 16:54 | 6372620 large_wooden_badger
large_wooden_badger's picture

Looky loo, free shit!

For reals

Thu, 07/30/2015 - 17:26 | 6372759 MsCreant
MsCreant's picture

Leaky Loo!

Sponsored by Team Depends!

An actual Free Shit Army will show up.

They will, of course, have to get their shit together for the competition. 

Will Imodium be considered a performance enhancing drug?

It will mean something very different to attend the various "runs" at the tracks.

Even "the trots" will have to be rethought.

Will there be "stool pigeons" there?

They will train as Montezuma cannons for "bouts of diarrhea."

Will they serve "meadow muffins?"

Thu, 07/30/2015 - 18:25 | 6373018 NoDebt
NoDebt's picture

THat's funny.  Not sure how Team Depends is going to feel about this, though.  Not sure he's going to be able to afford an unexpected Olymic sponsorship on top of everything else he's got going on.

Thu, 07/30/2015 - 20:01 | 6373302 MsCreant
MsCreant's picture

I had requested that he help the Fed with their leaks (with some maxi sized, night time depends), but he never bothered to show up for that either!

No shit.

Thu, 07/30/2015 - 16:56 | 6372631 Lost My Shorts
Lost My Shorts's picture

Not to disagree, but the idea of "modern redistributionist governments" might be too simple.  Brazil is a very complex place, with a violent and very rich overclass (who have benefitted most from redistribution) floating on top of a huge underclass, infiltrated with criminal gangs who could come straight from Mad Max except they dress more cool, with a small middle class paddling vigorously to keep their heads above shit.  Sounds strangely familiar by the way.

Brazil today is actually the best example you could find of the end-state of humanity.  (Francis Fukuyama take notes.)  The US is heading steadily toward being Brazil, and eventually will be.

Thu, 07/30/2015 - 17:28 | 6372780 Creepy A. Cracker
Creepy A. Cracker's picture

Are the mere peasants of Brazil allowed to have guns?

Thu, 07/30/2015 - 18:08 | 6372955 Antifaschistische
Antifaschistische's picture

uhhh, I will difer with you there.  Try Sierra Lione or Haiti for end-state.  Haiti has an advantage of being a parasite living close to many hosts.  SL....not so lucky.   Rio....still a paradise compared to those crap holes of humanity.

Thu, 07/30/2015 - 18:44 | 6373080 Karaio
Karaio's picture

I am Brazilian.

I lived in São Paulo-SP between 1981 and 1985, I was born in Santos, Brazil.

The Rio de Janeiro and Santos Beaches have always been a potty.

The city of São Paulo has always been violent, but violence increased when forbade citizens to bear arms.

It was the government of Fernando Henrique Cardoso.

Water quality is good when it leaves the treatment.

The problem arises in water tanks that are not clean and old pipelines there occurs contamination.

There are massive propaganda to denigrate Brazil, cut it BRICS.

I submit to you as a Brazilian, the thing is not as ugly as what is in this article.

Brazil is not only doing business in US dollars, you are exchanging a lot in other currencies.

hehe.

Mon, 08/03/2015 - 08:40 | 6384342 large_wooden_badger
large_wooden_badger's picture

"...a violent and very rich overclass (who have benefitted most from redistribution) floating on top of a huge underclass..."

Just becuase it floats to the top doesn't mean it's good!

Thu, 07/30/2015 - 20:59 | 6373508 Lets Buy The Dip
Lets Buy The Dip's picture

not sure what you are on about. 

Lots of stuff happening, 

However this week I keep watching the crazy stuff happening in CHINA. wow!

That HUGE STOCK MARKET crash in CHINA, Still happening has wiped many people out. OUCH! its lured in many novice traders who have quit their jobs,

and put all their lifesaving in the market hoping to make themselves rich, however things have gone terribly wrong for these investors recently as they do not know what they are doing!!

Here is just one story! Absolutely heart breaking. This novice farmer investor has basically lost his entire lifesaving’s and also his entire family fortune as well.Watch the video here ==> http://www.bit.ly/1fMcakI

Thu, 07/30/2015 - 21:49 | 6373682 Semi-employed W...
Semi-employed White Guy's picture

Not man just the mud peoples.

Thu, 07/30/2015 - 17:09 | 6372704 Temporalist
Temporalist's picture

I'm gonna wash that man right outta my hair

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=odcCzb-h3Fo

Thu, 07/30/2015 - 17:48 | 6372876 neidermeyer
neidermeyer's picture

I don't get it ... they just pipe their shit into the ocean... realistically that shit is a valuable resource ,, dry it , granulize it and you have a fertilizer company... and your raw material is free... just need some giant settling tanks, dozers and sunshine to dry it...

Thu, 07/30/2015 - 16:52 | 6372608 Bloppy
Bloppy's picture

If they're not willing / able to clean this up in time for the Olympics, then nothing will motive Brazil's government to get its crap together (fitting, isn't it).

 

Lion meat ‘trophy’ was served at Zimbabwe dictator’s recent birthday

http://tinyurl.com/paqpmxl

Thu, 07/30/2015 - 16:39 | 6372526 negative rates
negative rates's picture

Comes a close second to only, ebola. Happy surfin.

Thu, 07/30/2015 - 16:08 | 6372397 813kml
813kml's picture

New event:  logrolling

Thu, 07/30/2015 - 16:16 | 6372436 Make_Mine_A_Double
Make_Mine_A_Double's picture

Surfing with the Brown Salmon.

Thu, 07/30/2015 - 16:50 | 6372597 Miffed Microbio...
Miffed Microbiologist's picture

Well they can tell everyone they really are Snicker Bars.

Miffed;-)

Thu, 07/30/2015 - 17:08 | 6372700 One of We
One of We's picture

Baby Ruth are more authentic haha!

Thu, 07/30/2015 - 16:45 | 6372566 bearwinkle
bearwinkle's picture

A new Olympic event the "Shit and Get it" swimming competition.

 

Thu, 07/30/2015 - 16:56 | 6372627 ali-ali-al-qomfri
ali-ali-al-qomfri's picture

uh oh what's gonna replace

the Fosbury Flop?

the Brazilian BM

Thu, 07/30/2015 - 16:06 | 6372390 dontgoforit
dontgoforit's picture

There's greece on those Brazilian ta-ta's....oh, no, that's....

Thu, 07/30/2015 - 16:34 | 6372499 junction
junction's picture

"You want your feces, you can have your feces."  Obummer

Thu, 07/30/2015 - 17:44 | 6372849 MsCreant
MsCreant's picture

This is a situation where the Shit Hits the Sports Fan (TSHTSF).

Thu, 07/30/2015 - 15:58 | 6372351 Kaiser Sousa
Kaiser Sousa's picture

that's nasty...

nothing a bailout of the Hedge Funds and Banks cant fix....

 

Thu, 07/30/2015 - 16:55 | 6372617 Bob
Bob's picture

No, no, no--more free market individualism is the solution!

States just can't handle shit.

Now if our man Galt just had a buyer for his shit-on-a-string genius. . .

Thu, 07/30/2015 - 17:30 | 6372785 Jugdish
Jugdish's picture

They should re-package the shit water as a collatarlized debt obligation and sell it to the managed 401K's of the grazing cubicle herd of cattle.

Thu, 07/30/2015 - 15:58 | 6372352 NoDebt
NoDebt's picture

We're all swimming in feces now.

Thu, 07/30/2015 - 16:07 | 6372398 KnuckleDragger-X
KnuckleDragger-X's picture

Well shit! I guess they need more socialism.....

Thu, 07/30/2015 - 16:33 | 6372492 daveO
daveO's picture

Now it's countdown time until the Leftist media runs a story about this, apologizing for Brazil's poverty(they're run by a Socialist/freeloader, of course). They'll trot out a teenage Olympic player, probably female, who will agree that's it's all the evil white man's fault for invading their continent 100's of years ago and stealing all their gold and silver. Swimming in shit is atonement! The pope will say so.

Thu, 07/30/2015 - 15:59 | 6372360 Bunghole
Bunghole's picture

Click bait pic, Tyler.

Tits and ass or it didnt happen.

Thu, 07/30/2015 - 16:05 | 6372387 Eirik Magnus Larssen
Eirik Magnus Larssen's picture

Thumbnails can be frustratingly small. But then, as a married man I would only get myself in trouble anyway.

Thu, 07/30/2015 - 16:12 | 6372415 813kml
813kml's picture

Unfortunately, those models died from violent diarrhea.

Thu, 07/30/2015 - 17:37 | 6372804 MsCreant
MsCreant's picture

Eeeeee-Co-li ohhhh, ohhh, ohhh, ohh! (Sung to the tune of  Volarie).

or

E-Co-Li (sung with the Riccola drops horns accompanying).

Thu, 07/30/2015 - 16:42 | 6372542 SmallerGovNow2
SmallerGovNow2's picture

Well BH at least we had your fine avatar to look at...

Thu, 07/30/2015 - 15:59 | 6372361 CreativeGlobalF...
CreativeGlobalFinance's picture

If it's thick enough, it'll be more like crawling.

Thu, 07/30/2015 - 16:05 | 6372367 38BWD22
38BWD22's picture

 

 

BRICS:

Brazil: not just the economy in the toilet

Russia: bad economy, "Holy Grail" NatGas pipeline canceled, low oil prices

India: don't know enough to really comment

China: ah, debts catching up, stocks down, ugh...

South Africa: ?

*  *  *

BRICS Bank?  Bwa ha ha...

Recall that "BRIC" (BRICs) was a marketing term made up by Goldman Sachs...

Thu, 07/30/2015 - 16:10 | 6372409 Kaiser Sousa
Kaiser Sousa's picture

United States: no more Gold....

China Russia & India: all of the Gold.

continue please...

Thu, 07/30/2015 - 16:22 | 6372456 38BWD22
38BWD22's picture

 

 

China, India and Russia: Lots of gold, quite true

USA: If our gold were really gone, we would know.  Trust me that a secret that big could not be kept.  FOFOA dispatches Gold Conspiritard Theories quite well.

(not my red)

Thu, 07/30/2015 - 16:28 | 6372480 Kaiser Sousa
Kaiser Sousa's picture

sure they do..

and they also say Silver is not real money too...

and what does the audit of the Fed and Treasury's PHYSICAL Gold and Silver stocks show - oh, wait - there's been no audit...my bad

of course the Guberment would'nt lie to u...

Full Faith and Credit....very reliable sources....

Thu, 07/30/2015 - 16:36 | 6372490 38BWD22
38BWD22's picture

You just made my point for me.

*  *  *

Goldman Rats pictures ("Submit, Poors") seen in NYC, authors unknown last I checked, fun!

https://www.google.com/search?q=goldman+rats,+new+york&espv=2&biw=1280&b...

Thu, 07/30/2015 - 16:40 | 6372532 Kaiser Sousa
Kaiser Sousa's picture

sure i did...

ok u win.

Thu, 07/30/2015 - 16:49 | 6372588 38BWD22
38BWD22's picture

A draw is better than I even deserve.

Peace

Thu, 07/30/2015 - 17:07 | 6372688 Kaiser Sousa
Kaiser Sousa's picture

peace be with u as well.

Thu, 07/30/2015 - 16:48 | 6372536 daveO
daveO's picture

"Trust me that a secret that big could not be kept."

The man who closed the gold window(Nixon-Rep.) hired John Connally(Dem.) as his Secretary of Treasury. JC was the other guy who was shot along with JFK. JC always disputed the single bullet theory. 

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/John_Connally 

How many were convicted of that murder?

Here's what a former member of the Warren Commission has to say.(!)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JtsSLSGhdGg

Then there are the alleged moon landings, also during Nixon's tenure.

Thu, 07/30/2015 - 16:45 | 6372567 negative rates
negative rates's picture

Execpt that gold is for those people you turkey.

Thu, 07/30/2015 - 17:33 | 6372799 Bitcoin Meiser
Bitcoin Meiser's picture

Yeah. So now all of the poor people in China, Russia and India can have nice jewelry.

Thu, 07/30/2015 - 16:01 | 6372373 roadhazard
roadhazard's picture

Two Brazilians one cup.

Thu, 07/30/2015 - 16:02 | 6372374 buzzsaw99
buzzsaw99's picture

the feces is from gollum sachs?

Thu, 07/30/2015 - 16:06 | 6372389 TrustbutVerify
TrustbutVerify's picture

Which part of the article headline is more important? 

Thu, 07/30/2015 - 16:08 | 6372400 dontgoforit
dontgoforit's picture

The shitty depression part?

Thu, 07/30/2015 - 16:08 | 6372403 davidalan1
davidalan1's picture

"Brazil on the VERGE of collapse"   --  why the hell is it always "on the VERGE" and never collapses including Venezueala, Greece, Spain, France, italy et al?

Thu, 07/30/2015 - 16:32 | 6372483 TalkToLind
TalkToLind's picture

Shh!  Those constant news stories about other "collapsing" countries help make Murica look moar exceptionaller.

Thu, 07/30/2015 - 16:49 | 6372589 daveO
daveO's picture

Best in 'Shit' Show.

Thu, 07/30/2015 - 16:10 | 6372407 post turtle saver
post turtle saver's picture

ah, socialism... is there any country you can't fuck up?

Thu, 07/30/2015 - 16:22 | 6372448 samsara
samsara's picture

With  " ...metropolitan area's 12 million residents... "

It wouldn't matter if it was socialism, capitalism, fascism, or anyotherism.

The petri dish is full.

Have you ever even been to (say) San Paulo?

Thu, 07/30/2015 - 16:40 | 6372528 post turtle saver
post turtle saver's picture

I have been to Sao Paulo, as recently as this May... we were instructed by the residents to a) not drink the water, b) shower in it as infrequently as possible, c) never ever be out alone, not even in the richest part of the city, day or night, d) be ready to defend your taxi from attack on the airport routes, and e) generally have eyes in the back of your head at all times...

the new upper crust mall they have downtown close to the new Eataly was very nice... although I wonder why they put the Ducati store up top as opposed to the ground floor... probably to prevent theft... only mall I've ever been to where not only was there heavy security at the entrance, but also at least two security guards at the entrance of each store inside... it was also neat watching all the rich folk arrive by helicopter in the morning, the only place in the world where they have a helo "rush hour"... as for general rush hour on the ground, good grief... makes LA traffic look like a walk in the park... they all drive like fucking maniacs, too... or, like Italians, which makes sense if you think about it and know a little about Sao Paulo's historic ethnicity...

there are other cities in the world handling populations of similar size, and they aren't necessarily all third world shitholes... Tokyo and NYC are #1 and 2, with Seoul at #4 as a bookend to Sao Paulo... I've been to all those as well and have never had to take precautions like I had to the moment I set foot at GRU...

Thu, 07/30/2015 - 20:23 | 6373382 mkkby
mkkby's picture

Most of the top murder rate cities are in brazil, rest of south america and the us where niggers are the dominant species.

Thu, 07/30/2015 - 20:25 | 6373390 TheAntiProgressive
TheAntiProgressive's picture

Yup been to Rio a bunch over the years, great party town but the feces and bacteria in the water off the coast is nothing new cause they simply pump it from the city out past the breakwaters.  Then it floats all around.  That is why there are showers all over the beaches.  Somewhat disgusting for sure but when in Rome and all.......

Thu, 07/30/2015 - 16:41 | 6372537 youngman
youngman's picture

I have..and there is a drainage ditch that runs thru it...and you can just feel the diseases you are getting just looking at the water...and how many dead bodies are thrown in every night....its a nightmare

Thu, 07/30/2015 - 16:51 | 6372601 negative rates
negative rates's picture

Sweet, never waste a good blue moon maroon nightmare, it's the last one you'll ever see.

Thu, 07/30/2015 - 16:12 | 6372420 samsara
samsara's picture

As is the bottom line problem everywhere.

 

Too many people.

Thu, 07/30/2015 - 21:20 | 6373575 prymythirdeye
prymythirdeye's picture

WRONG

Thu, 07/30/2015 - 16:15 | 6372429 LongSilverJohn
LongSilverJohn's picture

Seems to me that the Olympic Games should belong permanently to Greece. They could use the business, too.

Thu, 07/30/2015 - 16:43 | 6372550 post turtle saver
post turtle saver's picture

one of the better ideas I've seen here in a long time, +1

Thu, 07/30/2015 - 16:16 | 6372432 Hoi_Polloi
Hoi_Polloi's picture

Can we make the politicians and bankers swim first?

Thu, 07/30/2015 - 16:47 | 6372577 PleasedToMeatYou
PleasedToMeatYou's picture

...with millstones? 

Thu, 07/30/2015 - 16:52 | 6372611 Solio
Solio's picture

We can't tell the difference between them and the gunk.

Thu, 07/30/2015 - 16:18 | 6372439 CheapBastard
CheapBastard's picture

Funny thing is many of those officials now own multi-million dollar mansions in Florida.

Thu, 07/30/2015 - 16:28 | 6372476 knukles
knukles's picture

Hah ha ha ha ha ha ....
I was reading those articles about (ex) Mayor Bloomerg's new palatial home purchase in London.  A mighty fine piece of property, my friend.  I know the area quite well, having hung out down thereabouts as a frequent visitor to the Tate back in the 60's.  Just about as olde fashioned impressive London as is possible.  And I started thinking about wealth and how it doesn't make one happy, and indeed how that if I could have owned a place like that, which in my younger egoistical days I ever so lusted for, the problems attendant thereto in this day and age.  The drawing of attention which it brings and necessity for guards, an entiurage, etc.  There would be no peace, serenity or calm. 
It would be a pure situation of the shit you think you own, owning you. 
A plain life of simple anonymity is ever so far superior. 
Last thing I'd want is a multi-million dollar home in Miami.  I honestly cannot visualize a more sub-optimal situation.

Thu, 07/30/2015 - 16:43 | 6372553 youngman
youngman's picture

Alls I want is the Bartender to know my name and what I drink....and an open stool...

Thu, 07/30/2015 - 16:54 | 6372618 RichardENixon
RichardENixon's picture

Lot of open stools in Brazil apparently

Thu, 07/30/2015 - 17:35 | 6372810 Jugdish
Jugdish's picture

All I want is a headless parrot, a few baseball cards, and a sack of marbles.

Thu, 07/30/2015 - 16:24 | 6372459 falak pema
falak pema's picture

You mean Petrobras's scammed billions and Dilmas's socialist friends can't put the Humpty Dumpty of the Oceans of Brazil back together again?

Not good news for Brazil's Amazon heritage! 

Thu, 07/30/2015 - 16:27 | 6372474 City_Of_Champyinz
City_Of_Champyinz's picture

I love the 3rd world, it is such a nice place to visit...

Thu, 07/30/2015 - 16:30 | 6372481 knukles
knukles's picture

When I was a kid in the late 50s and early 60s third world was very different than today. 
Civilizaiton has slid far in one lifetime.
And like Thomas Wolfe the Elder once said, "You can't go home again."

Thu, 07/30/2015 - 20:27 | 6373396 mkkby
mkkby's picture

The population of the world has DOUBLED in the last 40 years.  Most of it in the 3rd world.  These shit holes are now shit grand canyons.

Thu, 07/30/2015 - 16:37 | 6372513 City_Of_Champyinz
City_Of_Champyinz's picture

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iPUmE-tne5U

All you have to do is sing 'swimming in feces' instead of 'walking on sunshine', what a song...

 

 

Thu, 07/30/2015 - 16:31 | 6372485 gadzooks
gadzooks's picture

the`re fine! all they need is corrupt diplomatic ties so they can fleece another country! its all good! 

Thu, 07/30/2015 - 16:32 | 6372488 thunderchief
thunderchief's picture

All that partying and unprotected sex creates a load of shit.

Down the hill it goes right into the bay.

and so goes Brazil the way of Venezuela. 

Thu, 07/30/2015 - 16:35 | 6372503 Yikes
Yikes's picture

Shit just got real.

Thu, 07/30/2015 - 17:11 | 6372713 TalkToLind
TalkToLind's picture

+2.  

Thu, 07/30/2015 - 16:38 | 6372520 Ms No
Ms No's picture

Here in the 21st century with all of the resources in Mexico and South America the whole place becomes a fetid outhouse.  Such a great example of the end result of greed and corruption. Cholera, typhoid and hepatitis are just another symptom of the ZWO.  Apparently the smell of feces doesn't bother bankers and politicians. 

Thu, 07/30/2015 - 16:44 | 6372558 PleasedToMeatYou
PleasedToMeatYou's picture

"Apparently the smell of feces doesn't bother bankers and politicians." - "Meh, NIMBY."

Thu, 07/30/2015 - 16:39 | 6372521 skbull44
skbull44's picture

Swimming in feces may actually be safer than the Fukushima radiation the 2020 athletes will be exposed to...

Thu, 07/30/2015 - 17:25 | 6372770 Miffed Microbio...
Miffed Microbiologist's picture

It depends how you look at it. I've seen people die a horrible death in a few days from Vibrio Vulnificus eating raw oysters. Shigella can produce a nasty dysentery too and I've seen a few elderly people die from it. Now the long term effects from fukushima certainly don't bode well either.

I guess it depends how you'd like to make an exit from this world. Unfortunately, not too many of us get to die in our sleep.

Miffed

Thu, 07/30/2015 - 17:37 | 6372819 cheech_wizard
cheech_wizard's picture

>not too many of us get to die in our sleep.

My number 2 choice if I have my way. Number 1 was always a heart attack/brain embolism during intercourse. 

Standard Disclaimer: And just to tie things in with current events... In 2013, a woman named Sharai Mawera was mauled and killed by a lion in Zimbabwe during intercourse; (she was having sex with a human, not the lion). Her male companion fled and survived...

Yes, but was the lion's name Cecil?

Thu, 07/30/2015 - 18:35 | 6373050 Miffed Microbio...
Miffed Microbiologist's picture

Funny, every guy I know says the same thing! I want to go out after blowing out the most incredible fuck of my life. I'm not sure if we women have quite the same outlook, not that it wouldn't be pleasurable. Just not the first thing that comes to mind.

I had a friend in college who told me she was having the most incredible sex with her boyfriend when he died suddenly. She thought he was having a seizure in ecstasy when he was actually dying from heart failure. She found out later he had rheumatic heart disease. Couldn't believe what pleasure he was having during his death, he didn't act in distress at all!

She did say it was hard for her to start dating again afterwards. I guess having defibrillator in the bedroom is not a turn on.

Miffed;-)

Thu, 07/30/2015 - 17:38 | 6372822 Jugdish
Jugdish's picture

Zen Question : Is it true that most will die on the toilet ?

Thu, 07/30/2015 - 17:43 | 6372851 negative rates
negative rates's picture

Only if you have just come back from the dentist.

Thu, 07/30/2015 - 18:36 | 6373055 Miffed Microbio...
Miffed Microbiologist's picture

Elvis should have contemplated that.

Miffed;-)

Thu, 07/30/2015 - 16:43 | 6372547 Rainman
Rainman's picture

This is the petri dish for what is to come for many of the Rothschid-controlled central banks < and all but 3 are not part of the tribe >. 

Thu, 07/30/2015 - 16:44 | 6372555 goldhedge
goldhedge's picture

Make more Gold medals to hand out to those athletes who don't get sick during the games.  Oh and double the toilet paper allocations.

Thu, 07/30/2015 - 16:56 | 6372629 daveO
daveO's picture

LOL, the golden turd!

Thu, 07/30/2015 - 16:51 | 6372557 Hubbs
Hubbs's picture

As far as drinking water, consider the options:

 

 

Katadyn

Life Straw

Berkey

Survivor Filter

Steri Pen

Thu, 07/30/2015 - 16:56 | 6372628 lasvegaspersona
lasvegaspersona's picture

or just heat the pools to 200 degrees for 10 minutes...basic but effective...

Thu, 07/30/2015 - 21:02 | 6373520 tarabel
tarabel's picture

 

 

If they just keep it at that temperature, there would be a whole shitload of new world records.

Thu, 07/30/2015 - 16:45 | 6372561 FXD
FXD's picture

Putin to the rescue! Oh wait...too bad 1/4 of Russia's regions are de facto bankrupt.. I bet Reagan would have had something to say about it :)

Thu, 07/30/2015 - 16:47 | 6372568 22winmag
22winmag's picture

Brazil's waterways don't have shit on China's waterways.

 

Shitting on the side of the road is a national pasttime for the Chinese.

Thu, 07/30/2015 - 16:54 | 6372619 post turtle saver
post turtle saver's picture

the only way you drink water there safely is if it's been turned into cachaca first... that or just drink sodas, the bottling plants there have some of the best water treatment facilities in the world and for good reason...

Thu, 07/30/2015 - 17:05 | 6372674 Ms No
Ms No's picture

Bangkok's aren't too pretty either.  I hesitantly approached one of those canals to take a look and I saw a big fish partially surface (probably a result of asphyxia) my first thought was... Holy shit there are things alive in there?!  If you get splashed in the face with that water it's not out of the question that you will be deader than shit by sunrise.

Thu, 07/30/2015 - 16:47 | 6372575 Atomizer
Atomizer's picture

Look at a ship off of Africa deverting hacking or encouraging it

http://map.norsecorp.com/

Thu, 07/30/2015 - 16:49 | 6372586 large_wooden_badger
large_wooden_badger's picture

Would all Brazillianaires please kindly report for their haircut

Thu, 07/30/2015 - 16:49 | 6372592 The central planners
The central planners's picture

Hope Obongo dont swim in those water he could be confused with the feces.

Thu, 07/30/2015 - 16:50 | 6372598 RichardENixon
RichardENixon's picture

Oy vey, just when I'm starting to comprehend a little of that Spanish lingo I'm gonna have to start on Portuguese

Thu, 07/30/2015 - 16:53 | 6372600 Bill of Rights
Bill of Rights's picture

The masses won't notice it or care, just green screen the made for TV event and photo shop prestine waters and happy people out shopping.

All is well

Thu, 07/30/2015 - 17:26 | 6372772 negative rates
negative rates's picture

Like well is just another hole in the ground, that well?

Thu, 07/30/2015 - 16:53 | 6372613 lasvegaspersona
lasvegaspersona's picture

Socialism...yum!

Thu, 07/30/2015 - 16:55 | 6372625 large_wooden_badger
large_wooden_badger's picture

Gives new meaning to the phrase "free shit", must they take things so literlly in Brazil?

Thu, 07/30/2015 - 17:07 | 6372668 TalkToLind
TalkToLind's picture

Have you ever seen or smelled the Anacostia river in Washington D.C.?  It's ripe.  Pot Kettle Black, bitchez.  

Thu, 07/30/2015 - 17:06 | 6372684 Solio
Solio's picture

Fecesism is the same everywhere.

Thu, 07/30/2015 - 17:09 | 6372701 Gerb00
Gerb00's picture

Hey, no problema, coat them with shit in Brazil and Japan will make it glow in the dark...You get your choice green shit, brown shit, black shit....

Thu, 07/30/2015 - 17:14 | 6372721 poldark
poldark's picture

They won't be swimming. they will just be going through the motions.

Thu, 07/30/2015 - 17:20 | 6372740 sanjuandon
sanjuandon's picture

whats the big deal about endangered feces.  That lion that was killed had it coming to him....and in Brazil there are lots of endangered feces.   Swimming with them is no worse than walking with or observing them.

Fri, 07/31/2015 - 03:10 | 6374401 MisterMousePotato
MisterMousePotato's picture

Go back to sleep, Emily.

Thu, 07/30/2015 - 17:22 | 6372753 Duc888
Duc888's picture

 

 

Meh, just roll with it, make the best of it...

 

Maybe just have some contest like Bobbing for apples...

 

'cept it'd be Bobbing for Brown Trouts.

Thu, 07/30/2015 - 17:23 | 6372757 CHC
CHC's picture

As soon as I got to the "Sweet Spot Index" - I had to give up - I wasn't going to take anything after that seriously.

Thu, 07/30/2015 - 17:29 | 6372768 TalkToLind
TalkToLind's picture

This is a Clorox moment...don't y'all bitchez watch TEEVEE??? That shit can sanitize everything.

Thu, 07/30/2015 - 17:35 | 6372812 Chuck Knoblauch
Chuck Knoblauch's picture

Brazil fear porn on tap.

Who's next, India?

Thu, 07/30/2015 - 17:42 | 6372843 cheech_wizard
cheech_wizard's picture

Plenty of India fear porn out there as well...

"What's for lunch, Mom?"

"Maggi noodles, son, now fortified with extra doses of lead"

 

Thu, 07/30/2015 - 18:01 | 6372926 Chuck Knoblauch
Chuck Knoblauch's picture

Whatever it takes mom to rally this turd at the close!

Thu, 07/30/2015 - 17:40 | 6372818 Fukushima Fricassee
Fukushima Fricassee's picture

No sweat, Get Obama involved and he will fudge pack all that shit and lie about all the economic and bacteria count  numbers. The fudge packing press will pass it all off as truth and call any sick oylmpians racist.

Thu, 07/30/2015 - 17:50 | 6372882 TalkToLind
TalkToLind's picture

And...its gone.
No wait, wrong skit...here it is:  TC is a fudge packer! South Park rocks.

Thu, 07/30/2015 - 17:41 | 6372838 jcdenton
jcdenton's picture

In much better news from Brazil, did you know that Allesandra Ambrosio is actually a metal singer?

https://youtu.be/W9pXKIYhTCM

She doesn't just look pretty, she can wail ..

https://youtu.be/yi0eBfzPpps

and ..

She can -- linger!

https://youtu.be/qKOqVO1a0sg

Thu, 07/30/2015 - 18:13 | 6372972 MsCreant
MsCreant's picture

I don't think that is her. Your girl has a less defined nose and other features. Looks kind of like her but...

http://7-themes.com/6880266-alessandra-ambrosio.html

Thu, 07/30/2015 - 17:42 | 6372846 nakki
nakki's picture

Don't worry Brazil has defaulted 9 times in the last 101 years and the next time will be the 5th time since 1961. It seems par for the course no big deal. Long spray paint, glue and zip lock baggies.

Thu, 07/30/2015 - 17:46 | 6372864 deerhunter
deerhunter's picture

South Shitcago too is a good place for eyes in the back of your head. Some neighborhoods u may wish you were part of team Depends rather than get out of your car to go take a dump . Plenty of crime to go around. Lake Michigan beaches are closed when the shit gets pumped into the lake from Milwaukee and the winds blow it south. Same shit different continent.

Thu, 07/30/2015 - 17:46 | 6372869 MsCreant
MsCreant's picture

This is Tyler's shittiest post, ever.

Thu, 07/30/2015 - 17:47 | 6372871 Fukushima Fricassee
Fukushima Fricassee's picture

Clearly this can be fixed with very high carbon taxes on merikans.

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