This page has been archived and commenting is disabled.
Goldman Is Officially A Bank: Bailed Out Hedge Fund Will Allow Muppets To Give Their Savings To Lloyd Blankfein
The last time former Goldman employee and then Treasury Secretary Hank Paulson bailed out the hedge fund known as Goldman Sachs, and its closest peers (but not its biggest fixed income competitor Lehman Brothers of course), even the traditionally confused American public pushed back on the structure of the bailout which converted the Goldman holding company into an FDIC-insured company, which led many to ask: just where are Goldman's deposits?
The answer, of course, was nowhere, so perhaps in anticipation of the logical pushback against its second, upcoming bailout which would see the taxpayer-backed depositor insurance company once again provide trillions in cash to banks as well as the glorified hedge funds such as Goldman, the firm moments ago decided to do something it has never done before: become an actual bank with checking accounts and such.
It did so by announcing moments ago it would acquire GE's Capital Bank's online deposit platform, as in online checking accounts, including $8 billion in deposits and $8 billion in brokered CDs, thereby providing Goldman with a virtually costless source of $16 billion in funds. Costless, because under ZIRP, Goldman pays precisely zero interest for the unsecured liability also known as a deposit.
Goldman Sachs Bank USA (“GS Bank”) announced today it has entered into an agreement with GE Capital Bank (“GECB”) to acquire GECB’s online deposit platform and assume GECB’s approximately $8 billion in online deposit accounts and $8 billion in brokered certificates of deposit for an expected total of approximately $16 billion of deposits at closing. GS Bank will acquire no financial assets in the transaction other than cash associated with the deposit liabilities.
“This transaction achieves greater funding diversification and strengthens the liquidity profile of GS Bank by providing an additional deposit gathering channel. The establishment of this channel represents the advancement of a key funding objective for the firm,” said Liz Beshel Robinson, Treasurer of The Goldman Sachs Group, Inc.
Scott Roberts, President of GECB, said: “We are pleased to transition our depositor relationships to GS Bank, a large, stable institution with a focus on customer service. I am personally excited at the prospect of joining GS Bank, along with my team, to work towards a seamless transition of depositor accounts and to assist in managing the platform going forward.” “We look forward to welcoming and serving GECB’s online deposit customers at GS Bank with the high standard of service they have come to expect. We also look forward to working with our new colleagues from GECB,” said Esta Stecher, Chief Executive Officer of GS Bank.
As part of the transaction, GS Bank will extend offers of employment to substantially all of GECB’s employees dedicated to supporting the online deposit platform. As GECB’s deposit platform is online only, the transaction does not include the purchase of any physical assets.
Of course, when the next systemic crash does come, anyone holding more than the FDIC insured maximum will be promptly bailed-in alongside all other unsecured creditors, which is why we doubt Goldman will have much success in gathering zero-cost depositor capital despite the bank's desire for "greater funding diversification" (one may wonder why Goldman needs said diversification now... rhetorically).
Or perhaps we are wrong: just look at Greece - instead of taking every opportunity to empty out the local banks, the domestic savers who clearly have no idea that all the Greek government has done is to buy a few months of time, are once again eager to put their money in the same banks which just a few weeks ago refused to give money to its rightful owners.
Maybe Goldman is merely betting that when it comes to human stupidity, it truly is infinite. In which case, it probably made the right decision. Otherwise, well, step aside Spiderman Towel...
... it's time for the Blankfein Towel.
»
- 18293 reads
- Printer-friendly version
- Send to friend
- advertisements -
Here, kitty kitty kitty...
It was a crime against humanity that Bush and Paulson ever allowed those shysters to become a bank.
In my country there is problem...
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2yViYDULqno
Why does GS have to look like a bank now? What changed?
About fucking time. Wanna be a bank, you have to offer the services of a bank. Which BTW are usually very low margin (checking accounts, etc.) Betcha they'll charge premium fees for the cachet of a check that shows Lloyd picture on it, tossing red hot pennies off the top of 200 Water to the starving children below.
It's all God's Work for the Children
Assholes.
Nah they're getting ready to pull it again. IMO.
Esta Stecher head of the GS Bank hahha. What a nice Anglo Saxon name that is.
http://thezog.info/who-controls-goldman-sachs/
they know the day of reckoning is coming...and they need cover!
"Maybe Goldman is merely betting that when it comes to human stupidity, it truly is infinite."
I would say thats a safe bet.
Maybe Goldman is merely betting that when it comes to human stupidity, it truly is infinite.
-
They DO read zerohedge!!
Once upon a time they actually blocked ZH from their internal GS system.
Once.. but that, was a long time ago...
I can think of worse counterparties (e.g. FDIC).
I would trust the Squid with my money,
right after Hell freezes over.
Why isn't Blankfein hanging from a noose in front of his headquarters? Because Americans are ALL PUSSIES slogging popcorn while watching Netflix! You people are doomed to debt slavery to King Blankfein until you die. You cowardly rednecks.
Slaughterer - Right. Because a decentralized army of people with shot guns are going to take down an empire. You must be a dreamer.
The people's real choice is to either check out, work less and follow the way of Bhudda so to speak or evolve to sell shit to rich people. It is going to be a barbell economy for a long time, even if some of the politics turn around which is certainly not guaranteed.
Besides, if politicians on the hill are violating the US Constitution it is the job of those that swore an oath to turn over the apple cart.
Chances are, we'll have a new government by 2020-2025 to drastically reduce the debt and entitlements. That is what I mainly hedge for. If history is any guide half of the previous politicians if not more will be part of a new government.
I do hope we at least restructure the banking system at that time, nationalize it and issue public currency.
Until such things happening I keep dancing until the music stops for another record...
Hafta nitpick
1. We are way better armed than just shotguns. Some of my stuff is better than the average grunts.
2. A decentralized bunch of people with very little heavy weaponry fought the most powerful military in the world and forced them to withdraw. Little place called Afghanistan.
hey slaughter; we rednecks are not cowardly. do not include us with the squat to piss gutless capitulators. hoss my screen name is my real name. i am easily findable. my kind. my people are not responsible for the chaos of america. we are among the few standing tall. try reading speeches, and observing actions, of my senator jeff sessions. think before you speak. do not inanely attack we who are the last men standing
moar evidence that nirp is coming soon
best analysis what I ever read regard of current situation and Syria and ME
http://thesaker.is/the-saker-interviews-general-ret-amine-htaite-of-the-lebanese-armed-forces/
You have hit the nail on the head......none of this will end well.
First 10,000 new accounts get their choice of any one of these cool gifts:
https://www.google.com/search?q=octopus+toy&ie=utf-8&oe=utf-8#tbm=shop&q...
I was hoping for a toaster.
Don't worry, you'll get burned.
(and for Blankfein's career advice for summer interns
http://www.businessinsider.com/lloyd-blankfein-on-moving-up-in-your-care...)
Police should use the attendees of that advice session as a "pre crime" indication of future mass murderes and child molestors
I wouldn't trust a toaster from the squid.
Blankfein again? Hang 'em high!
Gee, I guess I'll have to open an account and put all my money in it.... You know, its getting a lot tougher to be skeptical, cynical and sarcastic enough to match reality......
how else were they to bail in deposits?
They need more cushion when the bail ins start
Precisely. This is extremely bearish. They want to dip their wicks into the next TARP.
Hit the nail on the head TARP #2....
Old Yeller doesn't care about the economy. She only cares about the market. The only way she raises rates is if she announce QE4 in the next sentence. Bongo and his minions always spout how the market is evidence of the wonderful economic recovery.
A special place in hell for all of them. Poor athiests have no such hope to believe in.
MF Global will be next up
Hey, dead corporations have just as much right to vote as illegal aliens...,
say wut?
Duplicate
MBARI researchers discover what vampire squids eat(it's not what you think)
The vampire squid uses two thread-like filaments to capture bits of organic debris that sink down from the ocean surface into the deep sea.
In reality, the vampire squid is a soft-bodied, passive creature, about the size, shape, and color of a football. A "living fossil," it inhabits the deep waters( central banks) of all the world's(sovereign) ocean basins at depths where there is almost no oxygen, but also relatively few predators.
So, as you can see, there's clearly a shortage of quality prey items for the vampire squid to consume.
"just look at Greece - instead of taking every opportunity to empty out the local banks, the domestic savers who clearly have no idea that all the Greek government has done is to buy a few months of time, are once again eager to put their money in the same banks which just a few weeks ago refused to give money to its rightful owners."
Anyone have a link to this stupidity?
"its not what you know, but who you know" has proven to be so true by our top officials
Goldman is the fourth branch of the government. I just threw up thinking about it
Try thinking about fIrst lAdy Heidi Nelson Cruz without developing a fistula.
What took them so long?
There's probably some regulation they didn't want to abide by until the last possible moment, like 3% reserve ratios or something. I bet things are about to crash badly.
" just where are Goldman's deposits?"
Your deposit is right over there sir. Safe and sound in that high-speed graphics printer.
Goldman actually did have a handful of retail branches in Manhattan up until the 1970's. I believe they sold them (along with the deposits) to Chase.
It was apparently at that point that they decided to base their business model entirely upon grifting and swindling.
It is not your towel, it is your great grandkids towel.
The shit must be very close to the fan.
Goldman are prepared.
So the crash will begin anew this last half of the year? Goldman must be a bit nervous about their hedge fund counterparts. How many hedge funds will be broke by this January lol?
Probably none. That's the rub. The Fed will start QE by then and a bailout to boot. Maybe even taxpayer funded bonuses directly to CEOs (OK I'm kidding on that one, but nothing would surprise me).
Goldman Sachs is all mine, Blankfein.
NOTE: The bigger they are, the harder they fall, Lloyd, old boy.
Free nailguns for the first 500 depositors.
The fed needs someone to take over Citi.
The Saudis have their hooks pretty deeply into Citi.
I'm surprised Tyler hasn't jumped on this story yet. Maybe he has, and I was too busy with my "Dwarf/ Midget Tossing Brackets".
Berlusconi 'selling £350m holiday villa to Saudi royal family' - Telegraph
More opportunities for thieves.
All goyim money belongs to us.
-Your Talmudic Overlords at GS
Wait until GS is decared a government.
Just like Gioldman became a bank in 2008 quietly during the weekend to grab taxpayer TARP funds thanks to Hank the Goldman Sachs Paulson.
http://www.goldmansachs.com/media-relations/press-releases/archived/2008...
why wouldn't they become a bank, fdic is 3% funded, so gs will get 97% of every dollar deposited from day one.
,
Rightful owners? The dummies are those who lend their 'money' without taking a security interest in the assets of the 'bank'.
Big Brother and the Holding Company...
TAF/TALF Auction Facility.
Goldman Sachs Group Inc.,Goldman Sachs Group Inc.*,,,,,,,,
Ticker,GS US Equity,,,,,,,,
Includes Loans to:,"Goldman Sachs Group Inc., Goldman Sachs & Co, Goldman Sachs & Co, Goldman Sachs & Co, Goldman Sachs Group Inc. and Goldman Sachs Bank USA/New York NY",,,,,,,,
Identified in Fed Documents as:,"Goldman Sachs, Goldman, Sachs & Co., Goldman, Sachs & Co., Goldman, Sachs & Co., Goldman, Sachs & Co.-London and GOLDMAN SACHS BK USA",,,,,,,,
Capital Raised From Home Governments,"$10,000.00",,,,,,,,
Programs,"CPFF, PDCF, TSLF, ST OMO, PDCF, DW",,,,,,,,
Country,United States,,,,,,,,
Industry,Banking,,,,,,,,
"Average Daily Balance
From 8/1/2007 to 4/30/2010","$7,532.40 ",,,,,,,,
Peak Amount of Debt,"$68,960.00 ",,,,,,,,
Peak Date,12/31/2008,,,,,,,,
-
Bank of America Corp.,Bank of America Corp.*,,,,,,,,,,
Ticker,BAC US Equity,,,,,,,,,,
Includes Loans to:,"Banc of America Securities LLC, Banc of America Securities LLC, Banc of America Securities LLC, Banc of America Securities LLC, Bank of America NA, Bank of America Corp., FIA Card Services NA and Bank of America NA",,,,,,,,,,
Identified in Fed Documents as:,"BANC OF AMER SCTY, Banc of America Securities LLC, Banc of America Securities LLC, Banc of America Securities LLC, BANK OF AMER NA, Bank of America, FIA CARD SVC NA and BANK OF AMER NA",,,,,,,,,,
Capital Raised From Home Governments,"$45,000.00",,,,,,,,,,
Programs,"AMLF, PDCF, TSLF, ST OMO, TAF, CPFF, TAF, DW",,,,,,,,,,
Country,United States,,,,,,,,,,
Industry,Banking,,,,,,,,,,
"Average Daily Balance
From 8/1/2007 to 4/30/2010","$20,712.39 ",,,,,,,,,,
Peak Amount of Debt,"$91,400.00 ",,,,,,,,,,
Peak Date,2/26/2009,,,,,,,,,,
-
Citigroup Inc.,Citigroup Inc.*,,,,,,,,,,,,
Ticker,C US Equity,,,,,,,,,,,,
Includes Loans to:,"Citibank NA, Citibank NA, Citibank South Dakota NA, Citigroup Inc., Citigroup Inc., Citigroup Global Markets Inc., Citigroup Global Markets Inc., Citigroup Global Markets Inc. and Citibank NA",,,,,,,,,,,,
Identified in Fed Documents as:,"CITIBANK, CITIBANK NA, CITIBANK SD NA, Citigroup, CITIGROUP BROKER DEALER, Citigroup Global Markets Inc., Citigroup Global Markets Inc., Citigroup Global Markets Inc., Citigroup Global Markets Inc.-London and CITIBANK NA",,,,,,,,,,,,
Capital Raised From Home Governments,"$45,000.00 ",,,,,,,,,,,,
Programs,"AMLF, TAF, TAF, CPFF, AMLF, PDCF, TSLF, ST OMO, PDCF, DW",,,,,,,,,,,,
Country,United States,,,,,,,,,,,,
Industry,Banking,,,,,,,,,,,,
"Average Daily Balance
From 8/1/2007 to 4/30/2010","$19,739.16 ",,,,,,,,,,,,
Peak Amount of Debt,"$99,451.09 ",,,,,,,,,,,,
Peak Date,1/20/2009,,,,,,,,,,,,
-
Wells Fargo & Co.,Wells Fargo & Co.,,,
Ticker,WFC US Equity,,,
Includes Loans to:,Wells Fargo & Co.,,,
Identified in Fed Documents as:,WELLS FARGO BK NA,,,
Capital Raised From Home Governments,"$25,000.00",,,
Programs,TAF,,,
Country,United States,,,
Industry,Banking,,,
"Average Daily Balance
From 8/1/2007 to 4/30/2010","$8,491.72 ",,,
Peak Amount of Debt,"$45,000.00 ",,,
Peak Date,2/26/2009,,,
-
JPMorgan Chase & Co.,JPMorgan Chase & Co.*,,,,,,,,,,
Ticker,JPM US Equity,,,,,,,,,,
Includes Loans to:,"JPMorgan Chase & Co, JPMorgan Chase & Co, JPMorgan Chase & Co, JPMorgan Chase Bank NA, JPMorgan Chase & Co, JPMorgan Chase Bank NA, Chase Bank USA NA and JPMorgan Chase Bank NA",,,,,,,,,,
Identified in Fed Documents as:,"J. P. Morgan Securities Inc., J.P. Morgan Securities LLC, J. P. Morgan Securities Inc., JP MORGAN CHASE BK, JP MORGAN CHASE BROKER DE, JPMORGAN CHASE BK NA, CHASE BK USA NA and JPMORGAN CHASE BK NA",,,,,,,,,,
Capital Raised From Home Governments,"$25,000.00",,,,,,,,,,
Programs,"PDCF, TSLF, ST OMO, AMLF, AMLF, TAF, TAF, DW",,,,,,,,,,
Country,United States,,,,,,,,,,
Industry,Banking,,,,,,,,,,
"Average Daily Balance
From 8/1/2007 to 4/30/2010","$11,978.98 ",,,,,,,,,,
Peak Amount of Debt,"$68,637.75 ",,,,,,,,,,
Peak Date,10/1/2008,,,,,,,,,,
So they figured out a way to make everyone and their grandparents a muppet.
Fuck Lloyd Blankfein
In five point font on page 32 it explains the million-dollar overdraft fees
+1... LOL... and... It's also in Hebrew !
Satan's little darling. One shot, one kill.