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North Korea Threatens To "Invade USA," Use Weapons "Unknown To The World"

Tyler Durden's picture




 

If Washington does not cancel its planned military exercises with South Korea, North Korea has issued new nuclear threats and says it is ready to use its latest weapons, which "are unknown to the world." The drills, called Ulchi Freedom Guardian, are due to start Monday are designed to "protect the region and maintain stability on the Korean peninsula." However, as expected Pyongyang is not happy, "If [the] United States wants their mainland to be safe," said state TV, "then the Ulchi Freedom Guardian should stop immediately."

 

 

The US-led exercises involve South Korea, Australia, Canada, Colombia, Denmark, France, New Zealand and the UK, due to take place Monday, have become an annual event for the US, South Korea and other allies, a fact that has often irked North Korea. As RT reports,

As has been the case in the past, Pyongyang has shown its displeasure, but the rhetoric coming out of the secretive nation has been stronger than in previous years.

 

"The army and people of the Democratic People’s Republic of Korea (DPRK) are no longer what they used to be in the past when they had to counter the US nukes with rifles," a spokesman for North Korea’s National Defense Commission (NDC) said.

 

The spokesman added that “North Korea… is the invincible power equipped with both [the] latest offensive and defensive means unknown to the world.”

 

"The further Ulchi Freedom Guardian joint military exercises are intensified, the strongest military counteraction the [Democratic People's Republic of Korea] will take to cope with them," he added.

 

"If [the] United States wants their mainland to be safe," said a newswoman for the state TV station, KCNA, "then the Ulchi Freedom Guardian should stop immediately."

Washington has brushed aside the comments coming out of Pyongyang, with a former US Army general, who had previously taken part in the Ulchi drills saying that the North Korean leader Kim Jong Un is just seeking attention from the international community.

"One of the key propaganda goals of the young leader is to just get on the radar of the US," said retired Lt. Gen. Mark Hertling, who was speaking to CNN.

 

"With all the other things we're focused on -- ISIS, al Qaida in the Arabian Peninsula, Russia and Ukraine, etc., Kim Jong Un wants to ensure he grabs attention."

 

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Sun, 08/16/2015 - 15:43 | 6432660 Publicus
Publicus's picture

Airborne Ebola.

Sun, 08/16/2015 - 15:52 | 6432695 localsavage
localsavage's picture

More like a setup for a false flag

Sun, 08/16/2015 - 15:55 | 6432705 MagicHandPuppet
MagicHandPuppet's picture

Airborn Kim Chi. But this time, it's gonna be extra spicy!

Sun, 08/16/2015 - 16:06 | 6432738 Bitcoin Meiser
Bitcoin Meiser's picture

If a Kim Chi bomb exploded over my city the stench would make me have to evacuate.

Sun, 08/16/2015 - 16:23 | 6432802 Row Well Number 41
Row Well Number 41's picture

Beijing's dog got out, somebody might want to let them know.

#41

Sun, 08/16/2015 - 16:49 | 6432901 knukles
knukles's picture

Reminds me of the old Robert Crumb cartoon of the Chinese being drawn as rats/weasels, thousands sitting in little boxes all stacked making a rocket and each having a pipe in front of them to exhale into really hard to make the thing fly.

Secret weapons. 
The kid needs a good haircut.  Right about larynx level.

Sun, 08/16/2015 - 17:48 | 6433109 SMG
SMG's picture

The plan is to use N. Korea as a tripping point for WWIII, but that's not for a few years, so you have time to prepare.  This is part of the setup for that.

http://www.worldaffairsbrief.com/keytopics/threats.html

The war will be used to bring in a global scientific dictatorship and to depopulate the planet.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Georgia_Guidestones

Well at least you have some warning.

Sun, 08/16/2015 - 18:07 | 6433188 _SILENCER
_SILENCER's picture

Yeah, Skousen has been talking about that for awhile. One of his alerts is basically "if NK moves against the South, it's game on because they have Chinese permission"

Mon, 08/17/2015 - 00:22 | 6434322 Four chan
Four chan's picture

fat boy has plans to make the world cut its hair like moe. 

Sun, 08/16/2015 - 17:12 | 6432983 New_Meat
New_Meat's picture

"... the stench would make me have to evacuate."

Actually, you would evacuate, through at least two orificez.

Sun, 08/16/2015 - 16:52 | 6432914 de3de8
de3de8's picture

Will reveal the worlds biggest slingshot

Sun, 08/16/2015 - 21:27 | 6433875 Kirk2NCC1701
Kirk2NCC1701's picture

"More like a setup for a false flag"

FYI... Blaming Iran and North Korea was what the US Administration did in the TV series JERICHO1.  Can be streamed from Netflix or Amazon.

[1] http://jericho.wikia.com/wiki/Post-attacks_factions

Sun, 08/16/2015 - 15:53 | 6432696 813kml
813kml's picture

A nuclear-tipped potato gun.

Sun, 08/16/2015 - 15:55 | 6432710 agent default
agent default's picture

HF warheads.  Or dimethylmercury.  Both very nasty.  Especially in  a city environment.

Sun, 08/16/2015 - 16:50 | 6432906 max2205
max2205's picture

If NK converts all their people to Muslim then they will receive all the richest of the west.

 

Checkmate 

Sun, 08/16/2015 - 16:32 | 6432835 Urban Redneck
Urban Redneck's picture

If the Chinese are having a bad week because of Tianjin, the North Koreans could give the South a bad year(s)-- without any "unknown" weapons, because every chemical plant north of the Han river (some which are much bigger than the warehouse in Tianjin and are packed with much more dangerous chemicals) is within range of even their antique potato guns... for everything else that really doesn't respond well to artillery (in South Korea)  there are conventional rockets that can reach out and touch everyone.  

It's all a show, because they could have unleashed a real nightmare anytime over the last decades... but they have not.  Regularly scheduled exercises wouldn't be a catalyst to change the status quo.

Sun, 08/16/2015 - 16:56 | 6432926 de3de8
de3de8's picture

And the dumb ass knows he would loose his pampered lifestyle if he fk's with the U.S.

Sun, 08/16/2015 - 18:50 | 6433343 Dragon HAwk
Dragon HAwk's picture

Nah... the troops would eat the potato before the darn thing could be fired..

Sun, 08/16/2015 - 19:45 | 6433508 Yen Cross
Yen Cross's picture

 That was funny.

Sun, 08/16/2015 - 15:45 | 6432666 arbwhore
arbwhore's picture

Sounds like the Fed. Always threatening, never delivering.

Sun, 08/16/2015 - 15:48 | 6432674 Dr. Engali
Dr. Engali's picture

Now there's some funny shit right there. Print the little dicktaror his few billion Benny bucks and the little retard will slink away like usual.

Sun, 08/16/2015 - 15:49 | 6432680 Sturm und Drang
Sturm und Drang's picture

Be that as it may, one day the big boys will scoff at the wrong guy.

Sun, 08/16/2015 - 15:51 | 6432687 Hulk
Hulk's picture

Buzz Lightyear lives !!!

Sun, 08/16/2015 - 15:51 | 6432689 blabam
blabam's picture

China requested a diversion? 

Sun, 08/16/2015 - 15:52 | 6432692 lolmao500
lolmao500's picture

Nobody gives a fuck about that asshole... there's real geopolitical action elsewhere... so Kimmy, if you want action, do something or else shut the fuck up.

He also threatened to bomb the propaganda speakers on the border... so yet again he backed himself into a corner of bullshit...

Sun, 08/16/2015 - 15:52 | 6432697 Cloud9.5
Cloud9.5's picture

The mouse that roared,  I wonder?  A couple of nuclear tipped skuds coming off a freighter in the Gulf of Mexico detonated at high altitude might be a game changer..

Sun, 08/16/2015 - 15:55 | 6432704 ShrNfr
ShrNfr's picture

Can we please drop a Fat Boy on Fat Boy????

Sun, 08/16/2015 - 18:11 | 6433201 Kprime
Kprime's picture

if you'll drop it on DC I will raise a toast!

Sun, 08/16/2015 - 15:58 | 6432715 MASTER OF UNIVERSE
MASTER OF UNIVERSE's picture

I'll donate $20 to North Korea if they nuke Washington DC, and New York shitty before September.

Sun, 08/16/2015 - 16:44 | 6432883 davidalan1
davidalan1's picture

Can get my duct tape and plastic sheeting first.

as I live close.

Sun, 08/16/2015 - 18:18 | 6433226 Tall Tom
Tall Tom's picture

Can it be crowdfunded?

Sun, 08/16/2015 - 16:01 | 6432727 trader1
trader1's picture

NK is just trolling the US?

 

Sun, 08/16/2015 - 16:04 | 6432735 bigkahuna
bigkahuna's picture

whatever Kim, whatever.

Sun, 08/16/2015 - 17:14 | 6432995 New_Meat
New_Meat's picture

'cept that the young master is utterly capable of real stupidity.  His grandaddy was totally in favour of stupidity, but had a whole lotta' love with fighting from knife-fight  up to ...

Sun, 08/16/2015 - 16:10 | 6432754 MsCreant
MsCreant's picture

Unleash The Donald on him...

Sun, 08/16/2015 - 16:20 | 6432788 cheech_wizard
cheech_wizard's picture

We could just let their barbers duel it out...

Sun, 08/16/2015 - 16:25 | 6432810 Helix6
Helix6's picture

Heh heh!  I'd pay money to see that!

Sun, 08/16/2015 - 16:54 | 6432917 knukles
knukles's picture

Of all the ideals and designs I see Trump having,my biggest bet is that if ever elected, he would scare the crap out of the OpFor.  Like Reagan; immediately after he's elected, the Iranians let the hostages go.  (Not supporting either side here, just sayin')  He's way too "unpredictable" (not sure if thats the right word or not, but the best I got at the moment) and y'all know he's not "bullshitting".
Be an interesting immediacy post election when new presidents are "challenged" to see their mettle.

Sun, 08/16/2015 - 18:07 | 6433189 MsCreant
MsCreant's picture

Some of what you are talking about here was my inspiration for my post, WWDD (What Would Donald Do?). 

He sure does run his mouth a lot. Would he know to ignore this little chump? Or react and take the bait because of all the drama it would create? Make an example of him? Shut his mouth for him?

Sun, 08/16/2015 - 21:06 | 6433787 knukles
knukles's picture

I bet that he'd ridicule the little shit something fierce on prime time television.
Then sink his navy once in international waters on general purposes.
Like Hillary said, what difference at this point does it make, anyhow?

BTW, this very weekend I was chatting with a Progressive golf bud.  Good guy but misguided in his youth.  Anyhow, he said that his greatest fear about Trump was that he'd get us into more wars.  I almost choked on my coffee and asked him to tell me how many Bammy's got us out (none) and then proceeded to name a whole bunch of new ones he's got us into.
Know what the reply was?
Bush's fault.

Yikes!

Sun, 08/16/2015 - 22:40 | 6434109 MsCreant
MsCreant's picture

Wow. I am no Bush lover (heterosexual and all) but I can't decide if that is the ultimate umbrella or ultimate insurance. Obama has some GREAT coverage there. Wonder what else he will do under that "shade" he has there? There is still time to commit some interesting crimes.

Sun, 08/16/2015 - 17:20 | 6433014 Normalcy Bias
Normalcy Bias's picture

How about their pantsuit dictatator vs our wannabe pantsuit dictator in a no holds barred cage match to the death on pay-per-view?

Sun, 08/16/2015 - 18:03 | 6433168 MsCreant
MsCreant's picture

If you told her she gets to be president if she wins, I bet she would do it.

Sun, 08/16/2015 - 18:09 | 6433195 Kprime
Kprime's picture

you wanna talk about a boring match. 5 days later neither one of them has been able to fuck the other dead.  they can't stay awake any longer and fall asleep cuddling on the floor of the cage.

Sun, 08/16/2015 - 16:14 | 6432765 kchrisc
kchrisc's picture

They'll have to get in line behind Zion and China.

Maybe Zion and China will allow them to take and have Koreatown on Long Island?

Liberty is a demand. Tyranny is submission..

 

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Koreatown,_Long_Island

Sun, 08/16/2015 - 16:23 | 6432775 Dawgeatdog
Dawgeatdog's picture

Administration should respond with an equivalent threat like we're going to ban Twinkees, HoHos, Ding Dongs and Suzi Qs from North Korea. 

Sun, 08/16/2015 - 16:48 | 6432791 Chuck Knoblauch
Chuck Knoblauch's picture

North Korea exists because some idiot in the US gave them nuclear weapons.

Another Frankenstein created by the Pentagon.

And you sit there with one thumb in mouth and the other up your ass.

Just wear a sign that says shoot me, I'm too dumb live.

Sun, 08/16/2015 - 20:30 | 6433647 wendigo
wendigo's picture

North Korea continues to exist because the Chinese really don't like the idea of 1,000,000 armed men siting on their border with no paychecks or orders. PLA would have to come in and clean things up should the norks go under. Cheaper just to keep the status quo intact.

As far as superweapons, I'm guessing they're threatening to unleash the Gay Bomb. Look it up. It was tested on San Francisco in the early seventies and look what happened there.

Mon, 08/17/2015 - 01:23 | 6434406 trader1
trader1's picture

So they would be doing world a favor by offsetting projected population growth?

 

Sun, 08/16/2015 - 16:24 | 6432806 Sudden Debt
Sudden Debt's picture

They have invented something that will turn Americans into fat, lazy and indiferent zombies!

Oh wait...

McDonalds already did that...

Sun, 08/16/2015 - 16:46 | 6432888 bigkahuna
bigkahuna's picture

SD, intel indicates they finally invented the nude bomb. No one wants to see all that flesh running down the street - and no one wants to be the flesh running down the street. Please no - not that, consider the global blowback if nothing else!

Sun, 08/16/2015 - 16:24 | 6432807 Helix6
Helix6's picture

Re: "One of the key propaganda goals of the young leader is to just get on the radar of the US"

Actually, I suspect he's playing more to his own people.

Sun, 08/16/2015 - 16:30 | 6432827 CHC
CHC's picture

Let his military take out one of our jets and see how fast he gets on the U.S,'s radar - his fucking fat head will be ground zero.

Sun, 08/16/2015 - 16:35 | 6432845 ToSoft4Truth
ToSoft4Truth's picture

Yawn.   We’re invincible.   

Sun, 08/16/2015 - 16:37 | 6432861 Moar-ey Greedman
Moar-ey Greedman's picture

The new napalm: Kim Jong Uns hair gel

Sun, 08/16/2015 - 16:42 | 6432879 ebworthen
ebworthen's picture

Latest weapons unknown to the world?

He must be planning to implement:  sound money, no central bank, productive capacity, career employment, and the rule-of-law!!!!

Sun, 08/16/2015 - 16:49 | 6432899 steveharless
steveharless's picture

The only thing kim jong un is going to invade, is the palace refrigerator late at night!

Sun, 08/16/2015 - 16:49 | 6432902 lolmao500
lolmao500's picture

Just level Pyongyang with a dozen MOABs, solve the problem. All the sycophants live there...

Sun, 08/16/2015 - 17:00 | 6432939 VW Nerd
VW Nerd's picture

Kim Jong Un is like the Rodney Dangerfield of the East.  No respect.  Kind of reminds me of the nervous, shakey little dog that barks at everything.  Threaten to punt his ass down the road and he'll scurry away yelping.

Sun, 08/16/2015 - 17:01 | 6432945 AchtungAffen
AchtungAffen's picture

Nah, they'll just finance Trump's campaign, and he'll do the rest...

Sun, 08/16/2015 - 17:08 | 6432968 johnlocke445
johnlocke445's picture

After what I heard Trump say about "sending illegal aliens" back to their countries I sent his election campaign $200.

Sun, 08/16/2015 - 17:19 | 6433011 tarabel
tarabel's picture

 

 

I sent him two roofers and a drywall helper.

Sun, 08/16/2015 - 17:36 | 6433066 hxc
hxc's picture

I sent him my two tj hookers from last weekend.

 

Tits

Sun, 08/16/2015 - 23:15 | 6434202 AchtungAffen
AchtungAffen's picture

Hey, I'm sending them away too, give me ur money yooooz... I competing with the National Socialists, the KKK and so many others... damn, competition's so hard for dumbasses money nowadays....

Sun, 08/16/2015 - 17:03 | 6432949 Hannibal
Hannibal's picture

(more) Fear (and war) mongering everywhere, gullible Americans are obsessed with it.!

Over re-action to a perceved (or real) so called "event" usually causes more harm than the "situation" itself at hand.

So just sit tight, observe and be cool (headed), enjoy the ride.

Sun, 08/16/2015 - 17:07 | 6432962 nah
nah's picture

Idiocy is not good for anyone.

.

Only idiots feel safe by acting ignorant, everyone else has to shoulder the burden of attention.

Sun, 08/16/2015 - 20:37 | 6433673 trulz4lulz
trulz4lulz's picture

I hate driving the streets of Murikistan, too.

Sun, 08/16/2015 - 17:12 | 6432981 1stepcloser
1stepcloser's picture

They must be running out of food again

Sun, 08/16/2015 - 17:15 | 6433000 Conax
Conax's picture

His dogs will come here for dinner.

You'll all be very, very sorry!

Sun, 08/16/2015 - 17:28 | 6433033 crazybob369
crazybob369's picture

"Weapons unknown to the world" is the equivalent of rope-a-dope. Provoke the U.S. just enough, then sit back and  watch them spend themselves into oblivion fighting wars against non-existing foes. Explain to me exactly how one fights a war against adjectives and nebulous nouns:

Terrorism

Drugs

Poverty

Communism

Fascism

 and my favorite; the 3 axis of evil. Oh wait, one of those is no longer evil. Make that the 2 axis of evil, or was Iran replaced by Syria, maybe Russia, or both. But that would make it the 4 axis of evil. I'm confused.

 

Just out of curiosity how is that war on terrorism thing working out? Are we winning, losing? How are we keeping score?

 

Here's a thought; how about giving business incentives to create jobs and expand (rather than burdening them with 1000's of pages of inane regulations) bring all those highly trained troops home and give them incentives to open business, create jobs, train for civilian life and worry about strengthening our country from within, because that's where the collapse is coming from. There is no organization, or state in the world that is a threat to the U.S. military. We've already demonstrated that we can defeat any credible military threat. No one is going to invade and defeat us from without, but, as was predicted by our founding fathers, the greatest threat to our country will come from within. As with most things, they were absolutely correct.

Your weapon is working Kim. It's a race between the U.S. going down in flames from self-inflicted wounds, and you dying of some terrible STD, stroke or coronary. Both highly unfortunate, but highly probable events.

Sun, 08/16/2015 - 17:47 | 6433102 Saccard
Saccard's picture

These "latest weapons" are "unknown to the world" because they only exist in the heads of some maniac north korean leaders.

Sun, 08/16/2015 - 18:01 | 6433160 Brokenarrow
Brokenarrow's picture

"They will unleash Korean massage parlors all over major US cities" DIdn't they do that?

Sun, 08/16/2015 - 18:09 | 6433196 UGrev
UGrev's picture

Ha. Haha. Hahahahahahah..  I guess the kid from the movie "UP" has finally lost his shit.

Sun, 08/16/2015 - 18:27 | 6433257 duck dodgers
duck dodgers's picture

Any enemy of the US Government is a friend of mine.

Sun, 08/16/2015 - 18:31 | 6433270 Mini-Me
Mini-Me's picture

The shooting stopped in 1953, but like every government program, there is no ending.  

Why are American troops still there?  Why are American taxpayers on the hook for protecting South Koreans?  

Bring the troops home, close the bases, and mind our own business.

Sun, 08/16/2015 - 19:20 | 6433435 Western Pig Dog
Western Pig Dog's picture

.. and after the war we have been subjected to 60 years of relentless anti-NK propaganda, much of which is total BS.  My personal approach: treat every wacky story about NK as war propaganda until proved otherwise.

Sun, 08/16/2015 - 22:22 | 6434059 UGrev
UGrev's picture

Ever see The Truman Show? Yeah, that's NK. What they show the outside world is the purest of pure of the most fake shit you'll ever see surrounded by a black hole of tyranny. Believe it.

Sun, 08/16/2015 - 18:46 | 6433332 F0ster
F0ster's picture

Intercontinental ballistic cock suckers

Sun, 08/16/2015 - 19:26 | 6433461 Joe Tierney
Joe Tierney's picture

I'm so embarrassed for the Nks, since they have a bloodthirsty inhuman retarded chimp for a leader. The sooner he meets up with Khadafi's fate, the better for everyone.

 

He talks real big, but only delivers when he's torturing and blasting his own sorry unarmed people to bits 'cause he thinks they're out to get him. Hope they are.

 

If the U.S. wants to do a real worthwhile 'regime change', why don't they stage one against this inbred moron?

Sun, 08/16/2015 - 20:43 | 6433702 trulz4lulz
trulz4lulz's picture

I'm so embarrassed for the Merkins, since they have a bloodthirsty inhuman retarded chimp for a leader. The sooner he meets up with Mussilini's fate, the better for everyone.

 

He talks real big, but only delivers when he's torturing and blasting his own sorry, tyrannically debt enslaved, obese, indifferent, lazy, narcissitic, exceptionally retarded, racisist, xenophobic, drug addled and hate fueled  people to bits 'cause he thinks they're out to get him. Hope they are.

 

If the U.S. wants to do a real worthwhile 'regime change', why don't they stage one against themselves or are they all just inbred morons?

Fixed that for you.

Sun, 08/16/2015 - 19:37 | 6433489 Sanity Bear
Sanity Bear's picture

I'm totally cool with him having California

Sun, 08/16/2015 - 19:51 | 6433529 ableman28
ableman28's picture

Its that kim-chi crap I just know it.  Their gonna fling that stuff at us until we give up!

Sun, 08/16/2015 - 20:04 | 6433559 wisefool
wisefool's picture

I wonder if we could all agree to buy war bonds, to bribe ISIS to Fight the Norks and watch it on TeeVee?

Sun, 08/16/2015 - 20:11 | 6433589 PrimalScream
PrimalScream's picture

USE Weapons Unknown to the World ...

like Common Sense?

Sun, 08/16/2015 - 20:30 | 6433648 bugs_
bugs_'s picture

he might raise interest rates.

Sun, 08/16/2015 - 20:32 | 6433655 wendigo
wendigo's picture

Gay Bomb. Gotta be. God help us all.

Sun, 08/16/2015 - 20:46 | 6433710 Haka Matohi
Haka Matohi's picture

They're too late, the progressive commies already have done that the secret weapon was B.O. and it will take years to get rid of the stench.

Sun, 08/16/2015 - 21:40 | 6433919 83_vf_1100_c
83_vf_1100_c's picture

  If The Donald gets elected his 1st act should be to fumigate the WH and live in one of his mansions til it's safe to sleep there.

Sun, 08/16/2015 - 21:44 | 6433933 Berspankme
Berspankme's picture

Donald and Lil Kim could jointly seek out a new barber

Sun, 08/16/2015 - 20:59 | 6433761 rsnoble
rsnoble's picture

Klingon lob fly.

In all seriousness, i'd be worried about what the criminals in the US gov't might to do to take advantage of this.  False flag?  Let NK blow CA off the map?  They are possible of anything.

Sun, 08/16/2015 - 21:35 | 6433907 Promethus
Promethus's picture

Atomic nail gun?

Sun, 08/16/2015 - 22:25 | 6434072 idontcare
idontcare's picture

Psst, FBI and Secret Service:  Watch out for Trojan Rabbits rolling up Pennsylvania Av.

Sun, 08/16/2015 - 22:54 | 6434152 Eahudimac
Eahudimac's picture

A million North Korean soldiers, each eat a pound of kimchi and wash it down with a few Tsingtaos and then simultaneously fart in the direction of the US. 

Mon, 08/17/2015 - 01:24 | 6434410 onmail
onmail's picture

Thumbs up to North Korea

Produce nuclear submarines with nuke missiles

America deserves nuclear annihilation
Let the sufferings of the souls disembodied by America in past decades , be avenged.

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