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Presidential Candidate "Deez Nuts" Surges In Polls
If Donald Trump’s unlikely rise to the top of the polls tells us anything, it’s that Americans (or at least GOP primary voters) are sick of business as usual in Washington.
The endemic corruption, crony capitalism, rampant regulatory capture, and licentious logrolling that many voters have come to associate with the American political process has created a deep-seated desire for change and if there are two names which most certainly do not portend a break from business as usual inside the Beltway they are "Bush" and "Clinton." Indeed, the prospect that America will once again be faced with a choice that really isn’t a choice by being compelled to choose between two candidates from Washington’s political aristocracy has only served to boost Trump’s appeal.
All of the above certainly seems to suggest that America is fully prepared to accept and embrace the candidacy of those who promise anything but the political status quo, which, we imagine helps to explain why the dark horse candidate "Deez Nuts" is now polling at 9% in North Carolina.
Deez Nuts is running for president. This is a true statement. pic.twitter.com/834etY4cMH
— Josh Moon (@Josh_Moon) August 19, 2015
From PublicPolicyPolling:
The specter of Trump running as an independent candidate in the general election continues to be a big potential problem for Republicans. In such a scenario Clinton leads with 38% with Bush at 28% and Trump at 27% basically tying for second place. Trump wins independents with 38% (to 28% for Clinton and 24% for Bush), takes 38% of Republicans, and 14% of Democrats.
Finally another declared independent candidate, Deez Nuts, polls at 9% in North Carolina to go along with his 8% in Minnesota and 7% in Iowa in our recent polling. Trump leads Clinton 40/38 when he's in the mix.
Finally Deez Nuts get 9% in NC to go with their 8% in Minnesota and 7% in Iowa. Pretty consistent support: http://t.co/EIPkTvW3Ti
— PublicPolicyPolling (@ppppolls) August 19, 2015
As you can see from the following, North Carolina voters aren't yet sure what to expect from Nuts, but 9% of voters know that if forced to choose between Hillary Clinton, Donald Trump, and Deez Nuts, they'll take Nuts any day of the week.
Breaking down the polling data, it looks like 9% of voters who chose Mitt Romney in 2012 would go with Deez Nuts in 2016 while an astonishing 25% of voters who voted for someone other than Obama or Romney would prefer Nuts over Clinton or Trump. Most of Nuts' support looks to come from the center of the policitcal spectrum and when broken down by gender, men seem to have a more favorable view of Nuts than women. When it comes to age, voters 18-29 were far more likely to have a favorable view of Nuts although surprisingly, when Nuts is pitted against Trump and Clinton, a shocking 15% of voters 30-45 say they would choose Nuts.
Full breakdown:
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I'd vote for mine ... not sure about anyone else's
ZH crowd who thinks Trump is an "alternative" are just as stupid as the "hope and change" Obamanoid class of '08.
Do you think it possible Bruces nuts are makig a run for the White House?
This has to be a joke...not because Deez nuts is at 9%, but becuase Trump is beating Clinton. He is double digits behind her.
If you don't want Clinton, you better find another candidate.
someone more competent when it comes to running information illegally across home servers
There are already rumors circulating around Reddit and 4chan that Deez Nuts is, in fact, Knuckles from ZeroHedge.
Well, not already... but I'm about to go over there and start spreading the rumors right now.
fucking 3rd party always screws shit up. ;-)
"the prospect that America will once again be faced with a choice that really isn’t a choice by being compelled to choose between two candidates"
Bullshit. Nobody is forced to vote for 2 losers. Vote 3rd party and screw shit up. GOOOD.
I love how the guy in the background says, "Oh no........No."
Finally, a candidate coming up strong!
Deez Nuts 2016. Get him 60% of the vote. If you have any fiat left, pump it into an advertising campaign for that guy.
One photo of Deez Nuts in a speedo and the female vote will be in the bag.
If anyone has the enthusiasm to create a worthy opponent, I would suggest "Dem Tatties".
Deez Nuts vs. Dem Tatties.
IT'S ON!
HAHA Deez Nuts...
Dat Ass for the sweep bitchez, Deez Nuts don't got a chance!
Shit. Maybe I'll run...
I'm more of a Ted Cruz kind of guy. What this country needs is an evangelical dictatorship. No abortions. No drugs. No porno. No donuts. Word to your mother.
That pretty much sums up the undeniable fact that 47% of this country is terminally stupid (38% for Hillary 9% for DeezNuts).
What, Mike Ockizard doesnt have a campaign?
Anyone would think the first two weren't doing a fine job in that department already! ;-)
In 1980 Milton Friedman did a 10 part PBS series. I wish all the candidates would watch. In simple terms he explained economic freedom. It is a dated presentation mostly in how far 2015 is removed from freedom. Still it is a fantastic presentation of a vision of what could be.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=f1Fj5tzuYBE&list=PLIIaZ4vHYZfs1mtfakraTq...
I'll take "Deez Nuts" for $200 Alex:
Deez Nuts on the wall.... What are Walnuts?
Deez Nuts on ones chest....What are Chestnuts?
Deez Nuts on O's chin... What is a Reggie Facial?
Deez Nuts radio commercial?
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0htYFQzp5LU
No this guy:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VcnUTyI9iJU
Glitch Dupe....here is to nut in your eye.
Can't screw up what is already screwed up and has been for decades.
Scrooge McDuck for the win!
Yep, I plan to fuck it up. Scrooge is my write in. I'm done with diebold elections.
I'll vote local issues, but federal has gone to shit, and I will no longer participate.
Ive always pegged Knuckles as Concerned American from Western Rifle Shooters, but have never received confirmation. Probably best that way.
But a tremendous site, nonetheless
https://westernrifleshooters.wordpress.com/
Be polite, be professional, but have a plan to kill everyone you meet....
gunbrokers.com they just as wild as us... ar15's ak's sale & ammo... homies
Kunckles, Nuts, Homer Simpson: ANYTHING but the Pivard-Cloven monstrosity Hillary or another retarded Bush puppet.
Would have bet that Deez Nuts was in fact yet another 4chan op
It is.
So why can't we run Z. Rowe Hedge?
I'll support a Knuckles candidacy.
Heck, tell him I want the job of Secretary of State. First act of bidnez: Piss all up and down the 'Wailing Wall', and from side to side too. No American should ever have to bow in front of that thing!
f that, test out the x37b on it, at top speed
So if Trump s winning in the poles , then why is he the second on the list n the screenshot.
Not any more. The latest poll has Trump within 6 points.
Two months ago Trump was more than 20 points down. He has 15 months to catch up and surpass her, although with her downward trending and legal problems, it's unlikely she will even be the nominee..
http://theweek.com/speedreads/572769/internet-meme-deez-nuts-outpolls-wa...
"The latest Public Policy Polling numbers show a surprising presidential hopeful overtaking Carly Fiorina, Mike Huckabee, and Scott Walker in North Carolina — and he's dead even with Marco Rubio, too. The independent candidate, registered as "Deez Nuts," is officially polling at 9 percent in North Carolina. "
These losers should go back to hustling laptops, bibles, or whatever. Laughable...
Trump called Jeb Bush "dumb" three times tonight. He also emphasized the FBI invesitgation of Hitlery. That earns him more points in mybook.
@realmoney2015
Must be SIMmoney cuz you're all wet... he is 2% behind her, not "double digits." Either that was a typo, or ur a micocephallic-retard Democrat...just sayn'
Were u saying DEEEZ NUTS were (snakin') dble digits behind that cunt? OK...
@ realmoney. You really need to meet Deez Nuts. He's not what you think. LOL
https://vine.co/v/ezbVY7OQZ6U
Well, shit, I'm sold (out)...
Banksters are more honest than pollsters. That isn't correct, they are slightly LESS DISHONEST than pollsters. Ignore both.
Now that there is funny Mr Calm.
owe u didn't
Looks like Hillary is still on top of DEEZ NUTS!
Just goes to show that people would rather vote for a non-existent candidate than most of the real ones...
His Grandfather, Wing, was well known in Chinese politics. This means Deez is a solid Wing Nut. They tried to assassinate both Nuts at least two times a piece, unsuccessfully. They could not rub one out.
Very frustrating.
He's got my vote.
Bust a Nut!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=q3gaQ89LwSg
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CJQVXUGjoG4
Huh? Wrong!!!
People would rather not vote for any of candidates who exist.
Well Monica was under Bill's so I guess it's par for the course ;o)
Anyone know what Seemoar Butts is polling at?
Two poocent, as always.
It is safe to do a google search on 'licentious logrolling'?
Please don't give me a mental picture of Hillary riding any sort of nuts. I don't want that meme in my head!
[too late, you mother fucker!!}
I am on your six.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OcahV1JfCmY
yeah, the real alternative is bush the 3rd, if mainstr... erm, corporate media is to be believed
And your choice.......DRUM ROLL.....
Could be worse; You could weigh 500 lbs, eat subway sandwiches and lose the majority of that weight; become a national poster child for a fastfood chain; to only have your wife divorce you, pay out a million dollar fine, jail time, and lose your endorsement after admitting to paying to have sex with minors. Just saying, it could be worse. I bet the 500 lbs come back, prevertsion to the mean as some might say.
Seems to me that Jared refused to do the bidding of the tribe. The Tribe does far worse things to little children but you never hear of it.
Yep, he was given the old " someone in your family dies or you are publicly humiliated" choicerooni.
True Santini.
It's like they have come to terms with there being no Santa Claus, but still think a giant bunny will bring them an Easter basket.
Really easy to tell if someone is full of shit. Do they pass the 9/11 Truth Litmus Test???
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=p6O4LE0eTYc
Well are not worthy of your brilliance...please inform us born and bred dopes who the chosen destroyer should be.
They were leading teh public by teh nose in 2008 telling them what they wanted to hear. Now they know that the sentiment has changed and they are still selling "hope and change" (but in a different flavour). Chances are Trump has agreed to run and agreed to lose to Hillary, he is one of teh boys.
Trump's ego is too big to agree to that.
Spot on SI.. Seems that the 70 people that down-voted you are as stupid as the very people they bash on here all the time. Keep thinking that billionaire the Donald is on your side, you sheep.can stay asleep.....Keep going to the polls and don't forget to dump more money in the stock market....TOO funny....
You don't know what anyone thinks you monkey. The stories here about Trump have overwhelmingly come from desperate Republicans trying to smear him. He's an asshole like you, but certainly better than Hillary.
I'm sure you're too cool to vote though. Because you haven't found the perfect daddy figure yet.
Trump is at least an alternative to the current political class, he has not been campaigning for more government like Obama did so perhaps he will get a better result, although no one really knows what his politics are. I do get a certain level of satisfaction just watching all those other well oiled political machines meant to carry their career politicians to success go to the wall.
He is part of the system though and has profited from it, but we are all part of the system and we all you have profited from it, right now I do not see any better alternative to go for, at least Trump has experience in knowing when to declare bankruptcy and is not starting by promising more of the same, whether he actually means to do something different has to be seen.
But if not Trump, then who is the alternative?
Air Santini "YOU WILL TRUST BITCOIN"
face it, some people enjoy sounding like a complete asshole on the interwebz....Good Job Air(Head)
Deez nuts T bags Hilary
Whatta ya got if ya got Deez Nutz on yo chin? You gotta dick in yo mouff.
What have you got if you have a large green ball in each hand?
The undivided attention of the Incredible Hulk!
Bruce (Cait) voted for his too
If you like your nuts, you can keep your nuts.
Didn't know Cathelene Jenner was running for president.
Obama sucks dees nuts
Is there some reason why this report by Paul Joseph Watson is not credited as such?
"Yo quero my nutz!" -- Robot Chicken, Taco Bell Chiuahua
Once again,'None of the above' or 'Would not vote' are the other choices missing.
Whether or not it's a 'vote wasted', I did not vote in the last UK elections, because I could not bring myself to vote for ANY of the 'candidates'.
DavidC
J Fred Muggs (D)...won a phone poll in NYC, he was a chimpanzee...
aren't they all?
What about Mike Hunt?
What about Mie Hunt?.... Will be on the ticket with Deeze
She stopped returning my calls. Maybe you could talk to her for me?
Mike Kiester?
True story: I knew a dude named Mike Hunt in College. He insisted that we called him Michael. I just couldn't do it. Funny thing was, he really was a cunt. We never seemed to form a friendship after that.
I pledge my vote to Deez Nuts! He's straight outta Compton, right?
You ever met Patrick Michael Hunt?
Mike Hawk should run with Deez Nuts.
Who is dis "Deez Nuts"?!?!? Inquiring minds NEED to know - we have our rights damnit!!
He's the guy that signals the total breakdown of the charade formerly known as voting. It has been reduced to a useless joke and an exercise in futility. Actually, it's sort of a toss up between usurped charade and futile exercise. In any case, the joke has become very old. I'm tired of showing up for the mental nutz-punch. No offense to the independent candidate.
Them: "If you don't vote, then you have no right to complain about who wins!"
Me: "Fuck you"
And for all you Luddites that don't know the Deez Nuts meme (=me until five minutes ago), it originates from Welven Harris and the Vines based on the clip of a joke he was playing on someone on his cell phone. This is the entirety of the conversation:
Welven: Somethin' came in the mail today...
Voice on Phone: What?
Welven: DEEZ NUTZ! HAH! GOT 'EEM! GOT 'EEM [translation: These nuts. Hah. Got him! Got him!]
This article gives a little more flavor of the legend (since April) known as Welven. Not sure how it turned out for him.
I don't know if Welven is or has any connection to the person running as Deez Nuts, but there's the meme connection for you all so you don't embarass yourselves in front of your teenagers. Please try to keep up from now on.
Yet more background regarding Deez Nuts on the poll (sorry...):
Presidential Candidate Deez Nuts Does Not Exist
Apparently a 15-year-old white farm kid from Iowa that pwned the FEC. Possible limited hangout for the nearby Ingham Lake Bible Camp.
To summarize for the confused, non-U.S. audience: Some kid registered a funny, off-color name as a presidential candidate with our Federal Election Commission (the form is pictured in Tyler's article above). 'Nuts' is U.S. english slang for testicles. No, it's not legitimate - you have to be a real person to run for president. The registration will eventually be tossed out. Companies that do polling for the Nov. 2016 U.S. presidential elections inexplicably included 'Deez Nuts' on their polls despite the obvious troll. I guess they just listed anyone registered. The address is legitimate, but there is no actual person named Deez Nuts that lives there. There are, apparently, a couple of people in the U.S. with that legal name, but they're not the ones that registered. It was a 15-year-old kid's prank.
People responded humorously (or out of disgust for all other candidates) on the polls in one single question (of fifty or more) by choosing Deez Nuts over Trump and Clinton in a hypotheical race between those three. The poll has several such questions limiting each candidate to a hypothetical race against the top two candidates from each party - Trump and Clinton. The fact that that the fake name made it at all in the polling process is kind of strange, and the fact that some mainstream U.S. media outlets reported the results of that question is even more strange, but speaks to the generally low I.Q. and sloppy reporting that our news stenographers are noted for.
Most shocking, I guess, is the number of people polled that actually said they would vote for an obviously fake candidate. I'm sure a lot of them had no idea about the internet meme that gave rise to the fake name - they just 'voted' for the funny name. It doesn't matter how popular the imaginary Deez Nuts ever gets in the polls, he can never be part of the real presidential race. A fact that will disappoint many Americans - me, included.
The MSM aren't the sharpest knives in the drawer...
Still, cracks me the fuck up.
This guy brings the Idiocracy clock two minutes closer to midnight.
Sounds like a transgender to me.
Miffed;-)
I think Deez still identifies as male.
His younger brother went under the knife however and now calls herself Dee Nuts. Not that there's anything wrong with that - it's just a bitch finding size 13 heels.
Hey! Wait a minute!
I can't believe they misspelled my name, its Deeez Nutzzz! With three eee's & three zzz's.
The fuckers ;-)
Well, if anyone has deee Balz in this country it would be a welcome change for me. My Buff Orpington rooster has more circulating testosterone than what's in the news today.
Miffed;-)
Somewhere in the hereafter,
THIS conversation is taking place:
James Madison: I swear... the guy's legal name is actually Deez Nuts
John Adams: Wut? For president?
Alexander Hamilton: How did this happen to the United States?
Thomas Jefferson: I think I just threw up a little bit in my own mouth.
Benjamin Franklin: I say we take off and nuke the entire site from orbit.
George Washington: It's the only way to be sure...
I am hoping Hillary's nuts are in a vice due to the server but there is no rule of law in Amerika.
downvote for including that fuckster Hamilton. first prez worthy of assasination.
Love your comments Miffed. What do you want me to do? How can I do it by myself? Ron Paul experience talking there. I do not know that I would not become part of the problem. By even running I acknowledge the existence and power of the state. I have trouble with that fact. I can't save anyone anyway. I would only make it all worse but suspending all previous executive orders with an executive order. That makes me a hypocrite in a way.
Mani,
I must take back what I said because it is wrong of me to suggest any man could do this alone. I cannot save anyone either. Besides Mr, there are few by my side. Therefore, I think our focus should be local because there is no national leadership. I have voted for Ron Paul and Ross Perot. I will no longer vote because voting means picking either horrid slack-jawed mealy mouthed vapid sea cucumber or a fascistic psychopathic Shelob or a grandstanding business man who talks a great talk but seems to solve most of his personal problems going bankrupt. I chose non participation. It is certainly is not your fault testosterone seems to be lacking today.
Let us hope this all doesn't lead to a bloody revolution. You and I would high five as the oligarchs were put to the guillotine as they did in the French Revolution but the pent up anger swung the pendulum to the other side and many innocents were murdered.
We are in dangerous times my friend and I don't think our talents lie in government today. Be authentic to yourself and trust your instincts. Stay safe.
Miffed
Wonderfully concise statement of the status quo. +1000
I always liked these guys...
The Monster Raving Looney Party in UK.
They did actually get someone into office.
In 1987, the OMRLP won its first seat on Ashburton Town Council in Devon, as Alan "Howling Laud" Hope was elected.
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Official_Monster_Raving_Loony_Party
Some unknown yet popular congressperson from Chicago.
Alright, now we have a viable candidate for a change.
Peculiar sorting order, why isn't trumps 40% at the top?
Because it's alpha sorted.
/s
Deeez nuts all over the politicians faces.
Tyler you fucking fucker you owe me a new keyboard!
Hadn't snorted beer outa my nose in quite some time.
Bastard.
Deez pledges to "put her in the buck" and "pop all the pussies". It truly is a platform for a new America!
I prefer Doze Nuts
Deez is running, Dem or Doze are not.
Yet.
Licentious log rolling. That is a good one
Hands off deez nuts. They've had a workout.
Deez Nuts is cracken them in the poles. His father, Big Nuts is quite proud of his little pistachio. In fact he has been quoted as saying "Deez didn't fall far from the tree."
His candidacy has been called nutter butter by his detractors. But Deez Nuts is so full of himself with his early success that it now being reported that he is gonna to call his campaign slogan "Bust a Nut for America!"
Already gots a campaign poster lined up... :>D
I hope he gets the nomination. I'll change my name to OhYeah DatsRight and run as his VP.
To find out who Deez Nuts is, [click here]
He lost my vote..
http://memecrunch.com/meme/7XD0T/deez-nuts/image.gif?w=400&c=1
He is connected to the Obama Administration.
Check out this staged prank call by Deez Nuts to Obama on the Ellen DeGeneres Show before Obama was elected President...
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ilArqNp6PpE
Controlled opposition.
You HAVE NO CHOICE. You are being provided with a non violent method in order to vent your frustration.
FALSE CANDIDATE. Bullshit polls. The selection has ALREADY BEEN MADE in your behalf through a proxy...the MSM.
Let's get serious and back to work now. You have had your recess, kiddies. Your Government is depending upon you. (Gag...puke...explosive shitting.)
Exit polls show Schwety Balls by a nose.
If Deez Nuts can run as a couple..why can't The Clintons?
Life is unfair
But they are.
This is starting to remind me of Monty Python
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=31FFTx6AKmU
I voted for the pizza delivery guy for Gov. in NC so Mr. Nuts is looking like he'll have my vote too.
Only the candidates were polled.
You just can't make this stuff up.
Well, someone had to say it.
This is the most important political development in my lifetime. Deligitimation of politics is our only hope.
And who doesn't love Does Nuts?
How do we get money to Deez Nuts?
Hang on I'm setting up the website now ;-)
Hilarious, nmewn. +100
You must have ate a lot of clown meat when you were a kid.
My family was poor - we could only afford the occasional mime.
You should do that. I will contribute.
I swear, if I was that kind of person I could live the rest of my life as a king.
Alas, you must vote for the other guy ;-)
Brilliant! I wanna join the party! Thinking about changing my name to Dick Schlong. I'll get AIPAC and the Zionists behind me for the Schlong.
DEEZ NUTZ and DICK SCHLONG in 2016!!!!
might as well give deez nuts a shot, he couldn't be any worse than doze nuts we been getting.
Deez Nuts has quite a track record. Let him run and good luck to him!
This is great! So if enough people vote for him we could have nobody for president, as he is fictitious. Reminds me of Wavy Gravy's old campaign of Nobody for President before he sold out to the Dems. I love it!
Lord Ariok (Dials) *67
Hillary: Yes Hello?
Prank Caller: Hi, can I speak to Mr. Deez?
Hillary: Mr. Who ?
Prank Caller: Deeeeez Nuuuuutttzzzz!!! *Hangs Up*
Just goes to show you how much of a fraud voting and how our entire political system really is a fraud.
From the Stock Market, FX, Libor, Bond, Gold etc ALL The Markets Are Rigged. We've all been taught lies. Hedge Accordingly.
Did "whats his name" done get at ya?
Who?
Deez NUTZ!!!
So we know there's at least 38% in the FSA.
The presented photo shows Trump in the #2 position even though he placed first in the poll at 40%. Obviously the big media conglomerate who made the chart favors Clinton.
Ah yes. Politicians are so well-respected it seem. What about the other guy Deez Balls? When he polls big then one can assume that the pols backs are to the Sparta pit.
None of the Above... should always be on a ballot.
I was having a tough time as it is deciding between Limberbutt McCubbins and Vermin Supreme, now this just makes it all the more difficult.
...Nep Nep?
Plutia... in HDD
Waiting for "Muh Dik" to run. Ultimately, Obama, "Deez-Nuts", and "General Butt Naked" of Liberian fame, are pretty much the same.
Ahsley Madison would be in front of all.