Presidential Candidate "Deez Nuts" Surges In Polls

Tyler Durden's picture

If Donald Trump’s unlikely rise to the top of the polls tells us anything, it’s that Americans (or at least GOP primary voters) are sick of business as usual in Washington. 

The endemic corruption, crony capitalism, rampant regulatory capture, and licentious logrolling that many voters have come to associate with the American political process has created a deep-seated desire for change and if there are two names which most certainly do not portend a break from business as usual inside the Beltway they are "Bush" and "Clinton." Indeed, the prospect that America will once again be faced with a choice that really isn’t a choice by being compelled to choose between two candidates from Washington’s political aristocracy has only served to boost Trump’s appeal. 

All of the above certainly seems to suggest that America is fully prepared to accept and embrace the candidacy of those who promise anything but the political status quo, which, we imagine helps to explain why the dark horse candidate "Deez Nuts" is now polling at 9% in North Carolina. 

From PublicPolicyPolling:

The specter of Trump running as an independent candidate in the general election continues to be a big potential problem for Republicans. In such a scenario Clinton leads with 38% with Bush at 28% and Trump at 27% basically tying for second place. Trump wins independents with 38% (to 28% for Clinton and 24% for Bush), takes 38% of Republicans, and 14% of Democrats.


Finally another declared independent candidate, Deez Nuts, polls at 9% in North Carolina to go along with his 8% in Minnesota and 7% in Iowa in our recent polling. Trump leads Clinton 40/38 when he's in the mix.

As you can see from the following, North Carolina voters aren't yet sure what to expect from Nuts, but 9% of voters know that if forced to choose between Hillary Clinton, Donald Trump, and Deez Nuts, they'll take Nuts any day of the week.

Breaking down the polling data, it looks like 9% of voters who chose Mitt Romney in 2012 would go with Deez Nuts in 2016 while an astonishing 25% of voters who voted for someone other than Obama or Romney would prefer Nuts over Clinton or Trump. Most of Nuts' support looks to come from the center of the policitcal spectrum and when broken down by gender, men seem to have a more favorable view of Nuts than women. When it comes to age, voters 18-29 were far more likely to have a favorable view of Nuts although surprisingly, when Nuts is pitted against Trump and Clinton, a shocking 15% of voters 30-45 say they would choose Nuts. 

Full breakdown:

Deez Nuts

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George Washington's picture

I'd vote for mine ... not sure about anyone else's

Santini Air's picture
Santini Air (not verified) George Washington Aug 19, 2015 6:26 PM

ZH crowd who thinks Trump is an "alternative" are just as stupid as the "hope and change" Obamanoid class of '08.

remain calm's picture

Do you think it possible Bruces nuts are makig a run for the White House? 

realmoney2015's picture

This has to be a joke...not because Deez nuts is at 9%, but becuase Trump is beating Clinton. He is double digits behind her.

If you don't want Clinton, you better find another candidate.

EscapeKey's picture

someone more competent when it comes to running information illegally across home servers

Paveway IV's picture

There are already rumors circulating around Reddit and 4chan that Deez Nuts is, in fact, Knuckles from ZeroHedge.

Well, not already... but I'm about to go over there and start spreading the rumors right now.

Save_America1st's picture

fucking 3rd party always screws shit up.  ;-)

Pickleton's picture

"the prospect that America will once again be faced with a choice that really isn’t a choice by being compelled to choose between two candidates"


Bullshit.  Nobody is forced to vote for 2 losers.  Vote 3rd party and screw shit up. GOOOD.

Silky Johnson's picture

I love how the guy in the background says, "Oh no........No."

TruxtonSpangler's picture

Finally, a candidate coming up strong!

Motasaurus's picture

Deez Nuts 2016. Get him 60% of the vote. If you have any fiat left, pump it into an advertising campaign for that guy.

TeamDepends's picture

One photo of Deez Nuts in a speedo and the female vote will be in the bag.

Skateboarder's picture

If anyone has the enthusiasm to create a worthy opponent, I would suggest "Dem Tatties".

Deez Nuts vs. Dem Tatties.


James_Cole's picture

Dat Ass for the sweep bitchez, Deez Nuts don't got a chance!

johngaltfla's picture

That pretty much sums up the undeniable fact that 47% of this country is terminally stupid (38% for Hillary 9% for DeezNuts).


TruxtonSpangler's picture

What, Mike Ockizard doesnt have a campaign?

logicalman's picture

Anyone would think the first two weren't doing a fine job in that department already! ;-)

Retired Guy's picture

In 1980 Milton Friedman did a 10 part PBS series. I wish all the candidates would watch. In simple terms he explained economic freedom. It is a dated presentation mostly in how far 2015 is removed from freedom. Still it is a fantastic presentation of a vision of what could be.

WTFMOFO's picture

I'll take "Deez Nuts" for $200 Alex:


Deez Nuts on the wall.... What are Walnuts?

Deez Nuts on ones chest....What are Chestnuts?

Deez Nuts on O's chin... What is a Reggie Facial?


















WTFMOFO's picture

Glitch is to nut in your eye.




















Nexus789's picture

Can't screw up what is already screwed up and has been for decades.

OldPhart's picture

Scrooge McDuck for the win!

Yep, I plan to fuck it up.   Scrooge is my write in.  I'm done with diebold elections.

I'll vote local issues, but federal has gone to shit, and I will no longer participate.


LasVegasDave's picture

Ive always pegged Knuckles as Concerned American from Western Rifle Shooters, but have never received confirmation.  Probably best that way.

But a tremendous site, nonetheless


Be polite, be professional, but have a plan to kill everyone you meet....

wizteknet's picture they just as wild as us... ar15's ak's sale & ammo... homies

ThroxxOfVron's picture

Kunckles, Nuts, Homer Simpson: ANYTHING but the Pivard-Cloven monstrosity Hillary or another retarded Bush puppet.

wesson's picture

Would have bet that Deez Nuts was in fact yet another 4chan op

Thirtyseven's picture

I'll support a Knuckles candidacy.

Heck, tell him I want the job of Secretary of State.  First act of bidnez: Piss all up and down the 'Wailing Wall', and from side to side too.  No American should ever have to bow in front of that thing!

detached.amusement's picture

f that, test out the x37b on it, at top speed

Abitdodgie's picture

So if Trump s winning in the poles , then why is he the second on the list n the screenshot.

Kelley's picture

Not any more. The latest poll has Trump within 6 points.


Two months ago Trump was more than 20 points down. He has 15 months to catch up and surpass her, although with her downward trending and legal problems, it's unlikely she will even be the nominee..

ThroxxOfVron's picture


"The latest Public Policy Polling numbers show a surprising presidential hopeful overtaking Carly Fiorina, Mike Huckabee, and Scott Walker in North Carolina — and he's dead even with Marco Rubio, too. The independent candidate, registered as "Deez Nuts," is officially polling at 9 percent in North Carolina. "


These losers should go back to hustling laptops, bibles, or whatever.      Laughable...

847328_3527's picture

Trump called Jeb Bush "dumb" three times tonight. He also emphasized the FBI invesitgation of Hitlery. That earns him more points in mybook.

Fidel Sarcastro's picture


Must be SIMmoney cuz you're all wet... he is 2% behind her, not "double digits." Either that was a typo, or ur a micocephallic-retard Democrat...just sayn'

Were u saying DEEEZ NUTS were (snakin') dble digits behind that cunt?  OK... 

Ness.'s picture

@ realmoney.  You really need to meet Deez Nuts.  He's not what you think.  LOL

OldPhart's picture

Well, shit, I'm sold (out)...

Farqued Up's picture

Banksters are more honest than pollsters. That isn't correct, they are slightly LESS DISHONEST than pollsters. Ignore both.

sonoftx's picture

Now that there is funny Mr Calm.

ACP's picture

Looks like Hillary is still on top of DEEZ NUTS!

Just goes to show that people would rather vote for a non-existent candidate than most of the real ones...

Stares straight ahead's picture

His Grandfather, Wing, was well known in Chinese politics. This means Deez is a solid Wing Nut. They tried to assassinate both Nuts at least two times a piece, unsuccessfully. They could not rub one out.
Very frustrating.

He's got my vote.

Arthur Schopenhauer's picture

Huh? Wrong!!!

People would rather not vote for any of candidates who exist.