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The Demands For Another Fed Bailout Have Begun

Tyler Durden's picture




 

Back in August 2007, just as the quant funds had their first taste of what the upcoming collapse would look like and when the Fed for the first time realized that the subprime woes were "not contained" despite what Ben Bernanke had promised previously to Congress, financial comedy TV's best known mascot, Jim Cramer had a meltdown on CNBC following Bear Stearns' CFO admission that the fixed-income market turmoil was the worst in 22 years, ranting how the Fed "knows nothing" and how it should promptly bail out the financial system.

 

Little did Bear Stearns know that less than 9 months later it would no longer exist, but not before the same Jim Cramer proclaimed Bear Stearns was "fine" and is not in trouble when it was trading at $62/share. A week later the company was insolvent and was handed to JPM for a forced take-out at $2/share.

 

Fast forward 8 years when we just witnessed the biggest weekly market rout in 4 years and largest VIX surge in history, and when - like clockwork - the financial "experts" come crawling out demanding, you guessed it, another Fed bailout.

Here is Suze Orman, self-described as "America's Most Trusted Personal Finance Expert" who, hilariously enough, in a Twitter conversation with none other than financial comedy's prime mascot made it quite clear how she feels about the market rout:

Cramer's prompt response was essentially a rerun of 2007:

The "trusted expert" chimes in, demanding someone do something to crush the selling which "did not need to happen" - after all only buying is allowed under central planning.

The punchline, as usual, belongs to Cramer:

So let's get this straight: when the Fed-manipulated market keeps levitating ever higher, even as the Fed itself admits QE has failed to help the economy, America's "most trusted personal finance expert" is delighted.

But once we have even a modest stock correction - arguably because stocks are no longer allowed to drop... ever - the same expert comes out demanding a bailout, because you see it was beyond her "expert" skills to prepare America for tthe inconceivable contingency of a market drop. And just in case her message is lost on someone, Cramer defines this same "expert" as the most commonsensical individual in finance.

Is it any wonder that with "personal finance experts" such as these, that the personal finances of America have never been worse?

 

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Sat, 08/22/2015 - 13:26 | 6455774 TBT or not TBT
TBT or not TBT's picture

We are now a bad mashup of a cargo cult and Idiocracy.  

Sat, 08/22/2015 - 17:06 | 6456381 jaxville
jaxville's picture

Cargo cult...?  You mean the plane loads of free stuff are not coming?

Sat, 08/22/2015 - 13:29 | 6455783 Consuelo
Consuelo's picture

Arguably the largest 'bubble' hiding in plain sight, is the Financial Services Industry bubble.   You know the prominent names, but there are countless 'services' out there, all piggybacking on the same modern portfolio theory and current 'finance' paradigms that have been the mainstay since the 80's.    And because the current credit cycle is at or well beyond the age of many alive today who haven't known anything else, they won't know what hit them, nor understand the reasons why until after the carnage - assuming they're even still 'viable' at that sobering point.

 

 

Sat, 08/22/2015 - 15:03 | 6456095 Max Cynical
Max Cynical's picture

Talked with a friend in the finalcial services business...currently with UBS. He tells me he could get paid $2M+ to move his book of business to another shop.

Me: So why don't you take it? A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush.

He seems to think he can't make more money by waiting a couple of years for another firm to perhaps buy them out and bonus the advisors to stay and maintain their book of business.

Me: So what's your plan B?

Sat, 08/22/2015 - 20:01 | 6456752 Central Bankster
Central Bankster's picture

They won't "give" him 2 million to move from one firm to the other.  Its 2 million "bonus", which is actually a loan, forgiven over a 7 or 9 year term.  These loans are how they retain financial advisors at the big firms.  They are exceedingly common in the big wirehouses, but people like to brag, so they leave out the fact that its a loan, not a "bonus".

Sat, 08/22/2015 - 13:29 | 6455784 Itchy and Scratchy
Itchy and Scratchy's picture

I'm still recovering from SUZIES worthless 2000 'DotCom' recommendations. Hey Suz when r your disasters comin' back to life? Hello Suze r u there?

Sat, 08/22/2015 - 13:30 | 6455786 Bay of Pigs
Bay of Pigs's picture

Another reason I am hoping for the worst when Shanghai opens tomorrow night.

Burn you fuckers...

Sat, 08/22/2015 - 18:09 | 6456511 FreedomGuy
FreedomGuy's picture

As much as like being right, I do not relish any worldwide economic malaise. No one escapes unscathed. 

Sat, 08/22/2015 - 13:30 | 6455788 Hohum
Hohum's picture

It's good to have help from your friends.  Take it away, Ringo!

 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jBDF04fQKtQ

Sat, 08/22/2015 - 13:36 | 6455802 GotNuttin'todo
GotNuttin'todo's picture

Yellen, you cursed brat, look what you've done, we're melting, melting ...

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aopdD9Cu-So

Sat, 08/22/2015 - 13:37 | 6455811 thunderchief
thunderchief's picture

I would call Jim and Suze bloodsuckers,  but I think just horrible human beings is more fitting.

Sat, 08/22/2015 - 14:03 | 6455923 daveO
daveO's picture

Parasites. The ticks in New York and DC are sucking the US dry!

Sat, 08/22/2015 - 13:50 | 6455817 Chalan
Chalan's picture

The Fed is inside a perfect storm, the only 3 choices left are bad either way for main street, If they hike the US Dollar Will keep rising hurting the US Economy as it's happening  now, if the don't hoke the stock market will bounce but crash next year due to world credit recession and QE4 Will make US markets go parabolic, exhausting all buyers ala German DAX or the Chinese Shanghai early spring, collapsing the US Economy next year.

 

Cramer, Suze Orman are paid cheerleaders looking out for the best interest of their masters.

Sat, 08/22/2015 - 14:00 | 6455906 New_Meat
New_Meat's picture

"... if the don't hoke the stock market will bounce ..."

I'm hoping they don't hoke and that the market bounces like Baywatch.

- Ned

Sat, 08/22/2015 - 14:38 | 6456047 Kayman
Kayman's picture

The Fed will do what is right for the parasites. Stall, delay the inevitable so long as there  is one last drop of warm blood left in the American private sector middle class.

An economy that depends on corporations borrowing money to buy back their own shares, and an economy that will collapse with a 1/4 of 1% rise in interest rates, never was an economy to begin with.

The Fed and their ilk have eaten all the cotton candy at the fair and are trying to evade the bellyache.

Sat, 08/22/2015 - 13:45 | 6455821 FrankieGoesToHo...
FrankieGoesToHollywood's picture

If you have money in the stockmarket and you rely upon the talking heads for buy/sell advice, you should not b e in the market.  Go to a casino where the drinks are free.

Sat, 08/22/2015 - 13:46 | 6455838 Son of Captain Nemo
Son of Captain Nemo's picture

You can always trust a "whore"man to do the right thing!

But anyone that follows this for advice knew long ago that the edifice had very deep fissures and was ready to crack up long ago!

Sat, 08/22/2015 - 13:57 | 6455840 juicy_bananas
juicy_bananas's picture

Mr Suze Orman likes the V.

 

What the Fed needs is Deez Nutz.

Sat, 08/22/2015 - 18:52 | 6456598 zeroaccountability
zeroaccountability's picture

I always say, hit the V.  Stay away from the A.

Sat, 08/22/2015 - 15:29 | 6455846 gwar5
gwar5's picture

Suze Orman! ha! ha!  Never take advice from anybody who's already got a finger in a dyke.  

Sat, 08/22/2015 - 13:46 | 6455854 Blythes Master
Blythes Master's picture

I'd like to give Suze Olberman, or whatever it is called a high five.

For it was her grating voice, her bogus calls, her unsound advice about reverse mortgages that made me pause and take the red pill.

Since sidestepping the -777 day by one day, and since all of the terrible boating accidents, (Fuck you Hannes;)) I now look at hese people as my saviors in a perverse sort of way.

I love you too Jim Kramer! Steve Liesman and that chrome dome of his, and don't even get me started on Kranky Krugs and that old school hipster beard, WOW! Moar please!

Sat, 08/22/2015 - 14:12 | 6455958 daveO
daveO's picture

They are living, breathing caricatures, a sure sign you're being played for a fool. 

 

a picture, description, or imitation of a person or thing in which certain striking characteristics are exaggerated in order to create a comic or grotesque effect.
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Caricature
Sat, 08/22/2015 - 17:16 | 6456406 jaxville
jaxville's picture

  Serious thumbs up Blythes......   talk about hitting the nail on the head.

Sat, 08/22/2015 - 18:53 | 6456600 Moe Howard
Moe Howard's picture

I  understand Hannes pleaded guilty to wire fraud the other day. Awaiting sentencing. Max 20 years if I remember right. Never bought a silver dime from that crook.

Sat, 08/22/2015 - 22:53 | 6457029 Blythes Master
Blythes Master's picture

Good for him. 20 years might as well be a death sentence.

Sat, 08/22/2015 - 13:47 | 6455855 kchrisc
kchrisc's picture

A noiZ-media scumbag says "what?"

Zion is a scheme, not an ethnicity.

Sat, 08/22/2015 - 13:51 | 6455871 corporatewhore
corporatewhore's picture

suzie just reminds me of the expert advice my brother in law received from his merrill lynch financial advisor--the EX MEAT BUTCHER--

he took the advice, wound up broke and BK'd.

I worked in this industry for many years.  The egos are unparalled, the talent--eh--not so much.

Never listen to anyone driving (leasing) a fancy car like MB, Range Rover, Jaguar, etc.  Avoid those living in mega mansions.   Watch out for those claiming to be involved in charities (they sometimes are stealing from them).  Somebody has to support their lifestyle, it might as well be you.

Sat, 08/22/2015 - 18:14 | 6456518 FreedomGuy
FreedomGuy's picture

I just talked with a financial adviser who was a friend of a friend sort of thing. He more or less bragged how much he had under management and roughly what his system was. Yet, he had no real charts, published work and was still working as an insurance agent. 

In the end you need to be responsible for yourself and make your own calls. Invest in what you understand and with people you thoroughly trust. Apart from that, realize there are no guarantees of anything including the length of your life. 

Sat, 08/22/2015 - 13:52 | 6455873 lynnybee
lynnybee's picture

There were no 'personal finance advisors' when I was a kid. My dad just worked hard, saved his money, got paid interest in a bank savings acct and even saved his silver dimes and quarters in an old coffee can. And he paid off his 15-year mortgage in 10 years. He was just fine in his golden years, too.

Sat, 08/22/2015 - 14:00 | 6455910 Question Reality
Question Reality's picture

Good thing that's been fixed by the finance advisors and bankers! Don't people understand they can't do anything themselves, and require the ever so helpful hand of the banks and government to guide them in their every action? Your dad must have been the exception, because now with these groups watching out for the common person, everyone is so much more ready for retirement!

Sat, 08/22/2015 - 14:56 | 6456084 Kayman
Kayman's picture

lynnybee

Your dad missed the new world of financialization. It starts by having control of money and credit. Rather than earning a living you just learn to churn and skim.  If you run out of money you cry crocodile tears and get your paid-for politicians to steal money from the public on your behalf.

Oh.. and honesty is a prerequisite. You must be able to talk of it but never practice it. 

Hope you are well

K

Sat, 08/22/2015 - 17:52 | 6456480 GotNuttin'todo
GotNuttin'todo's picture

Bingo! My parents too (known as the silent generation) although they did have one advantage on their side which helped fund their retirement and which we (the baby boomers) don't have, and that was a "no-brainer" rising real estate market. But your point is well made.

Sat, 08/22/2015 - 13:59 | 6455901 Temerity Trader
Temerity Trader's picture

The Fed model was narrow focused and they saw no alternatives to constant QE. As the markets soared, the fools felt “wealthy”, borrowed at low rates and bought Chinese-made crap they didn’t even need. The Fed bankers patted themselves on the back as debt soared. The reverse wealth effect is even more potent. As people see the stock portfolios get crushed, they will cut back even more on purchases. Our economy is almost 75% dependent upon rampant debt-fueled consumerism, with most of the remainder deficit government spending. Demand was pushed forward and reckless borrowing ensued to build more condos and houses nobody needs. Property values will soon plunge again and millions will walk away.

If the Fed were to announce no rate hikes, or QE4, it is admitting their policies are 100% focused on keeping the bubbles inflated, and they have failed and are scared. Fearful people make bad decisions. You can bet Janet is getting calls all weekend from the oligarchs and congresspersons, demanding she act to save their fortunes.

There are no good options left and Mr. Market will cleanse the excesses. As fear replaces greed, millions will find the exit very small. They will learn it was all an illusion…and the lemmings were played for patsies by an entity using behavioral economic models.

Sat, 08/22/2015 - 14:01 | 6455914 wisefool
wisefool's picture

if yellen turns the interest off can we get Lois learner to turn the income tax off at the same time? Or would that be armageddon?

Ghostbusters: Fire and brimstone comming down from the sky. rivers and seas boiling. 40 years of darkness earthquakes and volcanos. the dead rising from the grave.  human sacrifice. dogs and cats living together. mass hysteria.

Politician: What if you're wrong?

Ghostbusters: If I am wrong, nothing happens. We'll go to jail. peacefully quietly. We'll enjoy it ...

 

 

Sat, 08/22/2015 - 18:04 | 6456500 tjeffersonsghost
tjeffersonsghost's picture

+1 for the Ghostbusters II reference :P

Sat, 08/22/2015 - 14:02 | 6455916 jmc8888
jmc8888's picture

Doesn't she always act like a hardass bitching to people that it's all their fault about whatever?  How they need to cut out nonsense like she claims she did?

But now she wants the Fed keep the charade up because she wants to keep up the nonsense and escape fault for leading her viewers to ruin?

She's a complete fraud.  But hey, we knew that already, that's why this is the first time I've heard anything about her in close to a decade.

Sat, 08/22/2015 - 14:13 | 6455963 joker2thethief
joker2thethief's picture

Money for nothing and checks for free.

Its how our gvernmet works. What could be better?

Peter, do we really ever have to grow up ? ... or if we just believe can we stay children forever ?

Sat, 08/22/2015 - 14:17 | 6455980 Rathmullan
Rathmullan's picture

"Sister to Sister, can't you please just bail us .1 percenters out again with more borrowed money that only was destined for health care for those disgusting and tasteless plebes."

Sat, 08/22/2015 - 14:21 | 6455989 Pancho de Villa
Pancho de Villa's picture

It Blows My Mind how these Cheap Shills so easily gained all of the Silly People's Trust.

Sat, 08/22/2015 - 14:22 | 6455991 abbottmd
abbottmd's picture

what I like is all the populist rhetoric about China being a currency manipulator, and then the calls on the Fed to either 1. raise rates, or 2. lower rates. HAHA no manipulation there or anything

Sat, 08/22/2015 - 14:27 | 6456006 Heywood Jahblohmee
Heywood Jahblohmee's picture

I am taking the year off,  I have so many wet cunts to suck,  cunts that love me and my great advice.  -Suze Ormanstein

Sat, 08/22/2015 - 19:09 | 6456642 zeroaccountability
zeroaccountability's picture

What are you, like, 12? 13?

Sat, 08/22/2015 - 14:35 | 6456018 earleflorida
earleflorida's picture

excuse me, but[t]... a 15% +/+ correction is healthy. it's long overdue. the hampton-boys will be back soon...

a 25bp hike by the 'GOD's' has already been priced in months ago.    BTFD!!! period...

caveat emptor: it is the month of "OCTOBER" to put up the VIX!

jmo

Sat, 08/22/2015 - 14:32 | 6456026 bnbdnb
bnbdnb's picture

It does not make much sense to push the market up anymore for the elite of the elite uber in the know rich. They'll make even more during the trip downwards, then will proceed to inform us how necessary totalitarianism is really required for our world to continue.

Sat, 08/22/2015 - 14:36 | 6456039 Sagebrush
Sagebrush's picture

The Federal Reserve is a 102 year old major major mistake. It's existence needs to end and it's time for the American People to get off their butt's demand that it does so.

Sat, 08/22/2015 - 14:37 | 6456042 Hubbs
Hubbs's picture

The mere fact that someone like Suze Orman can draw an audience is a sad commentary on how stupid, naive, and gullible the American consumer has become.

Sat, 08/22/2015 - 15:41 | 6456208 BeerMe
BeerMe's picture

...and how bad/in the dark they are at budgeting and finacial decisions. 

Of course this goes back to the Ford quote: "It is well that the people of the nation do not understand our banking and monetary system, for if they did, I believe there would be a revolution before tomorrow morning.”

Sat, 08/22/2015 - 14:38 | 6456048 divedivedive
divedivedive's picture

Personally I prefer Liz Ann Sonders.

Sat, 08/22/2015 - 19:24 | 6456672 mc225
mc225's picture

..and who is the chick cramer is screaming at in the first video? she should have her own show; by herself; without the likes of cramer ruining the vibe.

Sat, 08/22/2015 - 14:43 | 6456057 overmedicatedun...
overmedicatedundersexed's picture

look she is on PBS TV, so she must be an expert. and an unbiased one at that..the tongue in groove crowd much like the pole in brown hole club..is favored spoke people for the elite ..i guess the elite see us as that stupid. that we would swallow advice from someone who cannot accept her own self.

Sat, 08/22/2015 - 15:07 | 6456115 pacu44
pacu44's picture

ROTFLMAO, Suze Orman and Cramer are "financial experts?"

I thought they were bubblevisions' cheerleaders.

Sat, 08/22/2015 - 15:04 | 6456121 Bitcoin Meiser
Bitcoin Meiser's picture

People from all walks of life are becoming very desperate about the current situation with the markets. This time it really is different.

Sat, 08/22/2015 - 15:06 | 6456123 pacu44
pacu44's picture

In other news, Axl Rose and Slash are friends again....

 

http://tv.aftonbladet.se/abtv/articles/87561

 

http://www.blabbermouth.net/news/slash-confirms-he-and-axl-rose-are-frie...

 

Wall Street banks clamoring to IPO Guns n Roses Reunion 

Sat, 08/22/2015 - 15:06 | 6456127 buzzsaw99
buzzsaw99's picture

she's stupid if she ever thought there was going to be anything but zirp 4evah in the first place.

Sat, 08/22/2015 - 15:12 | 6456142 rejected
rejected's picture

Taking a year off... Promoting this mess has its advantages. yes?

Sat, 08/22/2015 - 15:14 | 6456144 PrimalScream
PrimalScream's picture

I think we have to take a good hard look in the mirror - all Americans today - and admit that ...

WE HAVE BECOME A NATION OF CRYBABIES !!!!

Sat, 08/22/2015 - 15:50 | 6456234 sTls7
sTls7's picture

Waaaaaaaaaa  Waaaaaaaaa  Waaaaaaaaaaaaa

Sat, 08/22/2015 - 19:25 | 6456676 mc225
mc225's picture

lol... send me a whaaambulance...

Sat, 08/22/2015 - 15:18 | 6456149 Fiat Burner
Fiat Burner's picture

What a fucking dumb bitch. I hope she and everyone else invested in this fraud of a market lose it ALL.  They fucking deserve it for blindly believing the con artist central bankers and politicians. 

http://endthefed.org/

Sat, 08/22/2015 - 15:18 | 6456152 TongueStun
TongueStun's picture

I only trust lesbian financial advisors....because of their mental disorders.

Sun, 08/23/2015 - 15:14 | 6458414 JR
JR's picture

Suze Orman and Jim Cramer are products of a Jewish-owned media. Their columns, their appearances, their book sales are constant news and when Suze can’t get married legally it’s big news, only because a controlled media uses it, giving the impression the whole country has just switched over. It was the media’s constant coverage of homosexual issues that enabled the Jewish leveraged Supreme Court to provide Suze a same-sex marriage license.

"In reaction to Orman's coming-out (February 25, 2007), numberous media outlets have focused on her statements regarding her inability to legally marry her partner and the financial repercussions of that status. 'Both of us have millions of dollars in our name,' Orman told the New York Times Magazine. 'It's killing me that upon my death, K.T. is going to lose 50 percent of everything I have to estate taxes. Or vice versa.'" -- Suze Orman Comes Out, AFTERELLEN, February 25, 2007

Sat, 08/22/2015 - 15:26 | 6456155 earleflorida
earleflorida's picture

Q[$]E = Quixotic[$]Eugenics

WTF does China care about the IMF/ BIS/ WB etel., SDR's disease?

Would any sane entity[?] want this 'SDR`s Disease'?   Well?!

They have Eurasia, Africa, ME, and soon all of South America swapping their yuan.

Who the fucks gonna want $$$'s in a decade?, in their basket of goods-- unless its toilet paper when the american people will be responsible for all the 0.0001% 's debt!!!

Suze, Oprah, and Hitlery are three birds in a fishy-fleshy`BUSH, having been douche`d dry'd years ago... hemorrhaging std's in every orifice. Say what?

pathetic!

 

Sat, 08/22/2015 - 17:27 | 6456423 jaxville
jaxville's picture

  Please do not insult Adolf Hitler by comparing him to Hillary.  Your consideration is greatly appreciated.

Sat, 08/22/2015 - 15:22 | 6456162 detached.amusement
detached.amusement's picture

commonsensical equates to nonsensical these days.

 

actual sense is rather uncommon

Sat, 08/22/2015 - 15:32 | 6456183 earleflorida
earleflorida's picture

'common sense doesn't make much sense,... nor is it common'

albert einstein

Sat, 08/22/2015 - 15:24 | 6456167 the not so migh...
the not so mighty maximiza's picture

but i want to make interest on my savings you lesbo bitch

Sat, 08/22/2015 - 15:25 | 6456169 Moccasin
Moccasin's picture

The welfare queens are begging for help again..... they would never survive otherwise.

Sat, 08/22/2015 - 15:30 | 6456182 Bunga Bunga
Bunga Bunga's picture

Socialism is the cancer in this country.

Sat, 08/22/2015 - 17:54 | 6456483 Infinite QE
Infinite QE's picture

Bolshevism is the global cancer.

Sat, 08/22/2015 - 15:33 | 6456192 Tejano
Tejano's picture

"Fed Chair Yellen help us out. Commit to no rate increases"

No, Suze. YOU CANNOT PETITION THE LORD WITH PRAYER!

It's just not done.

Sat, 08/22/2015 - 15:39 | 6456206 Talleyrand
Talleyrand's picture

But, but, but...when I was back there in seminary school...

Sat, 08/22/2015 - 15:48 | 6456224 Hubbs
Hubbs's picture

There was put forth the proposition

That you can petition the FED for QE,

Petition the FED for QE

Petition the FED for QE.

 

You can not petition the FED for QE!!

Sat, 08/22/2015 - 15:35 | 6456198 BeerMe
BeerMe's picture

Haha!  Only down 10% from all time highs and personal finance experts want the Fed to save them.  Although the Fed is the reason peoples' finances get fucked.  What happens at 15-20% down?  They shut off the markets?  Obama declares another banker bailout?

Here is a question.  Is Suze Orman so in debt that she needs 0% interest rates forever?

Sat, 08/22/2015 - 15:46 | 6456209 zebrasquid
zebrasquid's picture

20% down they WILL shut the markets, suspend short selling and put buying, etc. 30% or more down, Obama will declare martial law and suspend the elections and bring "Jon Stewart" in as the new Sec. Of Treasury, so that half the people will be ok with that.

Sat, 08/22/2015 - 15:38 | 6456200 zebrasquid
zebrasquid's picture

This time around, the Cramers of the financial world will be hung from the lamp posts.

Sat, 08/22/2015 - 15:44 | 6456214 sTls7
sTls7's picture

WTH does Cramer know???????????????????

Sun, 08/23/2015 - 00:23 | 6457145 BeerMe
BeerMe's picture

"They know nothing!"  Remember that?

Sat, 08/22/2015 - 15:49 | 6456228 sTls7
sTls7's picture

Dear Sooo zee...   Fed backed into the corner, a few years ago, Bubbles Bernank should have raised rates, coward keeled, now it's a little bit too late.  And, this guy studied the 29 crash/ depression,  well, so much for all that studying, hasn't done a dam good. Has it?   Except, Big money, still has Big money.  Banks are rolling in cash.  What happens when the dollar crashes?

Sun, 08/23/2015 - 11:12 | 6457678 Berspankme
Berspankme's picture

studying and comprehension are 2 different things

Sat, 08/22/2015 - 15:50 | 6456233 PapSmear
PapSmear's picture

Dick Turban, "Get to work Chaircunt!'

Sat, 08/22/2015 - 15:50 | 6456235 cinderalle
cinderalle's picture

ok you have lost me, i am one of the sheeple what is going on here

Sat, 08/22/2015 - 16:13 | 6456269 Arthur Schopenhauer
Arthur Schopenhauer's picture

Relax, ... It's just a bunch of ultra-wealthy rich fucks throwing a temper tantrum about having to borrow money at more than 0.25 % interest. They'll get over it.

Sat, 08/22/2015 - 16:49 | 6456351 michigan independant
michigan independant's picture

Will Munny: Who's the fellow owns this shithole?

[pause]

Will Munny: You, fat man. Speak up.

Skinny Dubois: Uh, I... I own this establishment. I bought the place from Greeley for a thousand dollars.

[Will levels the shotgun, and speaks to someone standing behind Skinny]

Will Munny: You better clear outta there.

Man: Yes, sir.

[scampers out of the way]

Little Bill Daggett: Just hold it right there. Hold it...!

[Will shoots Skinny. Screaming, the women scatter upstairs]

Little Bill Daggett: Well, sir, you are a cowardly son of a bitch! You just shot an unarmed man!

Will Munny: Well, he should have armed himself if he's going to decorate his saloon with my friend.

Sun, 08/23/2015 - 10:43 | 6456236 RiverDrifter
RiverDrifter's picture

To add insulting our intelligence to the mix, Jim Cramer is retweeting this dumb bitch and calling her the most commonsensical retard on Earth....or something along those lines, I closed the tab cuz I couldn't take the stupidity anymore.  

I still remember Cramer shouting and screaming about how rock-solid Bear Stearns & Lehman were literally hours before they went under.

 

They're both fools & so are anyone who listens to them.

Sat, 08/22/2015 - 16:03 | 6456259 Heyoka
Heyoka's picture

Suzzie might want to loosen the strapon and stick to sucking tuna juice through a Brillo pad.

Sat, 08/22/2015 - 16:09 | 6456262 Able Ape
Able Ape's picture

I wouldn't let Suzie wipe my hairy ass....

Sat, 08/22/2015 - 16:12 | 6456268 Wilcox1
Wilcox1's picture

I have never met a woman who could show through actions that she understood the concept of "Produce more than you consume, and productively invest the surplus". 

Sat, 08/22/2015 - 16:12 | 6456270 nakki
nakki's picture

Remember when the TV personalities would talk about a "healthy correction." Its almost as if %10 Dow, 10% Russell 2k, and a whopping 6.5% S&P is the end of the world. As many have said better get Ben and his copters ready. QE 4+5 all in one huge 10 trillion dollar bank pump and checks to every American with a pulse. 

Just imagine the 2 trillion parked at the FED right now being loaned out 10 times over. 20 trillion on the "sidelines". 

In the end it really doesn't matter, none of " our" debt will be paid back. If it is say goodbye to every national park. All state lands. Goldman, JP Morgan, BofA, and Wells Fargo will own everything. Teddy Roosevelt tried and succeeded for all of 8 years and then we got the FED. It took Woodrow all of 5 years to figure out how fucked we were.

History repeat, rhymes whatever you want to call it. Welcome to the USA circa 1900.

 

Sat, 08/22/2015 - 16:18 | 6456280 the grateful un...
the grateful unemployed's picture

where's santelli

Sat, 08/22/2015 - 22:45 | 6457021 hoist the bs flag
hoist the bs flag's picture

 Rick will be Kicking tires and trash cans come Monday morning

Sat, 08/22/2015 - 16:21 | 6456284 J J Pettigrew
J J Pettigrew's picture

They are all geniuses ...as long as the Fed is accomodative to historical and unauthorized levels.

Cant raise rates when the market is going up..cant raise rates when the market goes down....got it?

The Fed cant brace up the price of oil, China, Greece, Puerto Rico, Cyprus, ....or stop a war between Iran and Israel or North and South Korea...

THe Fed NEVER should have had rates THIS LOW for THIS LONG.  They have poisoned the free market well....

Interest rates were between 4 and 5% in 2007 with the Dow at record highs (14k)...

What is the big deal with a 1/4 pt raise? Are things that fragile?  THe Fed should have stopped the game when the Dow got back to 14K...no more ....but party on ...right Ben and Janet?

Sat, 08/22/2015 - 16:23 | 6456290 tlnzz
tlnzz's picture

Nothing good can happen until an utterly complete financial collapse ruins the current people running the criminal system. Then the angry crouds can hunt them down for a lot more than a "pound of flesh". Their names and faces are well known.

Sat, 08/22/2015 - 17:33 | 6456440 jaxville
jaxville's picture

I can hardly wait for that fire to begin.  Once it starts I plan to throw buckets of gasoline on it.

Sat, 08/22/2015 - 16:28 | 6456299 Aubiekong
Aubiekong's picture

Suzie translation - Keep juicing the fake recovery with more funny money, at least until Obama can get out of office and we can blame a republican for this mess....

Sat, 08/22/2015 - 16:31 | 6456303 Meat Hammer
Meat Hammer's picture

I believe it's going to go a little something like this:

 

  • Insiders get a tap on the shoulder, sell, and take profits while simultaneously creating a negative feedback loop, which is necessary to crush the "market" as "they" sit on the sidelines and watch the muppets take it in the ass.
  • They buy everything back at pennies on the dollar just before Mr. Yellen ramps up QE4.
  • They make a fuck-ton of money as new muppets are lured into the "market" creating a positive feedback loop.

But, if the insiders are currently selling then someone else is buying. My only question is who?

Sat, 08/22/2015 - 18:14 | 6456519 tjeffersonsghost
tjeffersonsghost's picture

This is exactly how I think it's going to play out which is why Im shorting all the way till the annoucement of QE4.  Then Im gonna ride the bitch all the way up. This muppet wont be taken again like in 2007/8

Sat, 08/22/2015 - 16:30 | 6456305 JamaicaJim
JamaicaJim's picture

Oh shut the fuck up, bitch...jesus....take the fucking year off....go the fuck away...diddle yourself in the tub....no pictures..please....

AND SHUT THE FUCK UP.

Sat, 08/22/2015 - 16:33 | 6456316 khakuda
khakuda's picture

Janet is going to wear a T-shirt that says, "Owned.  I'm the market's bee otch"

Sat, 08/22/2015 - 16:42 | 6456335 Atomizer
Atomizer's picture

The municipal bond bitch goes into hiding. Who would of thought? 

Sat, 08/22/2015 - 16:49 | 6456349 Atomizer
Atomizer's picture

Suze Orman's Organize and Protect Financial System

http://www.qvc.com/Suze-Orman's-Organize-and-Protect-Financial-System.product.F09250.html?partNumber=F09250&storeId=10251&catalogId=10151&langId=-1&partNumber=F09250&storeId=10251&catalogId=10151&langId=-1&partNumber=F09250&storeId=10251&catalogId=10151&langId=-1&refType=BEST_SELLER&refNumber=F156853&sc=F09250-DTLR&cm_sp=UPSELL-_-BEST_SELLER-_-2&relType=BEST_SELLER&refLocation=2&TZ=EST&bvrrp=1689/reviews/product/5/F09250.htm

Sat, 08/22/2015 - 16:53 | 6456356 Atomizer
Atomizer's picture

Sorry about long hyper link. I should of condensed it. Who thought Suzie Orman link was larger than product sales. 

Sat, 08/22/2015 - 17:03 | 6456362 Raging Debate
Raging Debate's picture

Here is my net-out: Cut the subsidies. Soft default bondolders/debt like Ike did. If they threaten the government, tell them you throw in dank prison or a hole if they open there mouths like Ike did.

The people have made so much money they never have a care in the world ever again. And most made the best gains at the top by buying the government. A. 20% haircut on some holdings won't even dent the wealth of these people, especially considering between inflation and crappy jobs the majority took a haircut across the board of 30%.

End the lobbying and selective law enforcement. DO enforce the law on employers hiring illegal aliens and cut benefits. Give six months for compliance so these people can make arrangements. Make bills less than one hour to read or as a President, no signature. Nationalize the Fed, it just amplifier booms and busts. The busts wipe out an entire generation. They never could stop recessions anyways, only delay them.

Don't do these we finish becoming Mexico where desperate people kidnap politicians kids for ransom and do ooga booga to your daughter, unless you literally take your family to a bunker.

Do this and after a very harsh year we will rocket up like no tomorrow. What a Republic it would be!!!

I vote is we finish eating the big shitty all at once. It will really suck for a year but if this happened I willl help my American brother get by.

For a few viewers in law enforcement, keep exposing the corruption under the radar. Having a sound economy protect this nation AND your own pension. The rest of us will expose it publically and will keep doing so. Bravo for the ones that realize they at least need to step down amd beg forgiveness. There is a saying in politics: 'Do what you want and beg forgivness later.' That usually meant you were doing what was best but had to sugar coat it. But noways it is so bad the memo is: EAT SHIT

Sat, 08/22/2015 - 17:37 | 6456452 jaxville
jaxville's picture

  20% ain't enough.  They need to be dealt with in such a manner that every power hungry joo shits his or her pants for a thousand years when they think of playing the goyim.

   Bacon for the masses....!!!!

Sat, 08/22/2015 - 16:59 | 6456368 natxlaw
natxlaw's picture

Suze, help us out. Go easy on the spray tan!

Sat, 08/22/2015 - 17:03 | 6456375 RSDallas
RSDallas's picture

What a pair of Idiots!

Sat, 08/22/2015 - 17:09 | 6456386 Baby Eating Dingo22
Baby Eating Dingo22's picture

What else would you expect from Suzie

Doesn't she put her finger in the dike every night?

 

Sat, 08/22/2015 - 17:11 | 6456394 BullyDog
Sat, 08/22/2015 - 17:15 | 6456403 Baby Eating Dingo22
Baby Eating Dingo22's picture

Does she advise her followers to do the same in managing their own personal finances?

"What's that Ms Smith?You say you can't afford groceries, your rent is past due, and your electric iis shut off- but you like that shiny new Black Escalade with the chrome wheels and double moon roof?Well, I say, you march right into that dealer and sign that 72 month note first thing tomorrow"

Sat, 08/22/2015 - 17:25 | 6456420 Seal
Seal's picture
 3h3 hours ago

keep taking the year [or more] OFF

Sat, 08/22/2015 - 17:48 | 6456473 bunnyswanson
bunnyswanson's picture

I can thank Suze for my fixed mortgage loan at a very young age.  She grinded that thought into my head.  But, that is about it.  She talked to her audience like they were idiots when she actually reached her place on a High Horse with a loan from businessmen she lost in an investment.  "What happens when you don't have a retirement in old age?  You die."  Suze said.

Sat, 08/22/2015 - 17:37 | 6456451 Catullus
Catullus's picture

10% off the peak peak and they demand a bailout.

What is the fed going to buy? ETFs?

Sat, 08/22/2015 - 17:46 | 6456466 Clowns on Acid
Clowns on Acid's picture

Jim Cramer = Bernie Madoff... what's the difference?

Sun, 08/23/2015 - 11:09 | 6457673 Berspankme
Berspankme's picture

None

Sat, 08/22/2015 - 17:52 | 6456479 mendolover
mendolover's picture

I feel badly for the chic who had to stand there and listen to the spitting moron, hoping he wouldn't get any on her.  Give her a raise!

Sat, 08/22/2015 - 19:29 | 6456686 JamaicaJim
JamaicaJim's picture

That's Erin Burnett - about as cabal puppet CFR as you can get. She's PART of the problem, as well as ass hat Cramer.

Sat, 08/22/2015 - 20:10 | 6456769 mendolover
mendolover's picture

I can't stand that bitch!  Didn't recognize her from that angle.  I hope she gets what she deserves.

Sat, 08/22/2015 - 18:10 | 6456512 MASTER OF UNIVERSE
MASTER OF UNIVERSE's picture

I demand the heads of Central Bankers on pure silver platters, and I demand $30 trillion in physical gold bullion too.

 

Take that, FED.

Sat, 08/22/2015 - 20:12 | 6456517 teutonicate
teutonicate's picture

Suze Orman is a cabalist puppet of the worst kind.

Not only is she a cabalist, but she is doing her best to take down as many naive people of white European descent as possible by advocating the most destructive central bank policy that could be imagined at this time - giving them false hopes of a stock market recovery.

My advice to real Americans is to reduce equity exposure and wait for a massive correction.

This is an effective way to attack the cabal, because they will disproportionately participate in the losses - given the extent of their concentrated and leveraged positions.

I do not, at this point recommend purchasing additional PM positions, because I believe that there will be better buying opportunities once the deflationary collapse is complete - which is likely to be followed by dramatic inflation.

This is not an un-American act, because real Americans have never been part of the cabal.  There will be a dawn after the darkness.

Sun, 08/23/2015 - 11:34 | 6457728 bluskyes
bluskyes's picture

Are you one of the gentlemen taking advantage of backwardation on the comex?

Sat, 08/22/2015 - 18:17 | 6456526 yogibear
yogibear's picture

Another round of Wall Street's socialize losses and privatize profits transfer of wealth move.

The sheeple are ripe for the shearing.

Sat, 08/22/2015 - 18:41 | 6456579 LooseLee
LooseLee's picture

I say execute them both-Orman and Cramer. They are a disgrace to humanity...

Sat, 08/22/2015 - 19:15 | 6456653 Infinite QE
Infinite QE's picture

Pay per view. Settle the debt with the bolshies and then have the govt mint their own money. Problem solved.

Sat, 08/22/2015 - 18:58 | 6456609 Demogorgon
Demogorgon's picture

Apparently that first red pill I took back in '08 didn't completely free me, as I'm somehow still clearly plugged in to the matrix after having read that insanity.

Anyone have a spare red pill to help a brother out? I must have a high tolerance or something.

Sun, 08/23/2015 - 07:17 | 6456622 ThrowAwayYourTV
ThrowAwayYourTV's picture

I have noticed that everytime the Fed hints of a rate hike the DowBoys and Girls crash the market.

As if to say, "Oh yeah! Go ahead and try it and we will crash this f&$ker down to the center of the earth."

Personally I'm loving the free money myself. But I'm hating the shopping bag carriers and eaters that are swelling up all around me like an ocean of excitement tards.

Go home PLEASE! There is nothing to see here.

 

 

Sat, 08/22/2015 - 19:12 | 6456647 buzzsaw99
buzzsaw99's picture

the funny thing is she is mostly in bonds at least the last time i heard. she only tells little people to buy stocks because they are poor and it always goes up in the long run just like real estate.

Sat, 08/22/2015 - 19:13 | 6456648 Porous Horace
Porous Horace's picture

I am absolutely 100% against any bailout in any way, shape or form. Unless they want to slip me a few million.

Sat, 08/22/2015 - 19:14 | 6456649 Infinite QE
Infinite QE's picture

May be time to buy some crash puts. If they have to drag these clowns out on Saturday, it must be worse than we can imagine.

Sat, 08/22/2015 - 19:21 | 6456665 ForTheWorld
ForTheWorld's picture

This is the perfect example of the entitlement mentality pervasive in the world: they (sort of) understand they're in the shit, but don't want to admit it, because they'd lose their shirts. So, someone else should pay for their mistakes and give them some free money.

Sat, 08/22/2015 - 19:34 | 6456697 lordbyroniv
lordbyroniv's picture

statist dyke

Sat, 08/22/2015 - 20:03 | 6456757 Herdee
Herdee's picture

It's a hard,dead-end street for any paper currency.It's as far as you can go down as a fiat drug addict. The comparison to a down and out heroin addict -The Fed checked into The Roach Motel!

Sat, 08/22/2015 - 20:22 | 6456788 razorthin
razorthin's picture

Go fuck yourself, SuzieJew.  Your career and those of all financial charlatans like yourself are over.  That is unless you are still in the job market 20 years from now.

Sun, 08/23/2015 - 01:46 | 6457207 Otrader
Otrader's picture

She's paid to steer the sheeple into a wall of debt and usury.   The bribery checks from the financial elites have cleared and sitting nicely in her various accounts. 

 

What a fk'n whore! I dunno how these peopel sleep at night knowing what they do to humanity.

Sat, 08/22/2015 - 20:37 | 6456825 FreeNewEnergy
FreeNewEnergy's picture

Deflation takes the first few rounds, but then, hyper-inflation FTW!

I give it six more years to play out. Depends on where you live.

The system is completely fucked, which is why I stopped playing in 1999. SInce then, I've received exactly ONE paycheck. Hated it, went back to woking for ME, MYSELF and I.

Happier than ever and so is my silver, land, canned food, guns, world class ashtray collection and business inventory (no spoilage seven years and continuing to gain value).

I want more acres, so crash this bitch. Make some people (like my immediate asshat neighbors) poor, so they will beg me to take their porperty off their hands.

Now I play the banks for suckers, because they are.

Sat, 08/22/2015 - 20:39 | 6456830 Baby Eating Dingo22
Baby Eating Dingo22's picture

WOW!

SHeck out Suzes tweet

She asks people to guess her age in the photo

She should be asking them to guess her sex

Looks the Marlboro Man

http://pbs.twimg.com/media/CEiDOiBUMAAu4r9.jpg:large

Sun, 08/23/2015 - 11:30 | 6457721 bluskyes
bluskyes's picture

Is she wearing the denim jacket, or the collar?

Sat, 08/22/2015 - 20:41 | 6456832 mijev
mijev's picture

Isn't she the same bitch who tells every one of her callers to put their credit cards in the freezer and to worry first and foremost about their credit rating? But she doesn't make the same connection with the US itself?

Sat, 08/22/2015 - 20:49 | 6456844 scatha
scatha's picture

Suzy knows shit. First, she was a sheeple herder s schmoozing unsuspected people into unpayable debt. Then she recreated herself as fake crusader for consumer financial sanity and again confused people and steered US economy into collapse.

This is the collapse of global demand Suzy. This is the collapse of global income, Suzy. This is the theft and fraud perpetrated with immunity by the TBTF corporate parasites, Suzy.

And that’s what FED with its ZIRP was encouraging financial oligarchs to do all along, casino gambling with the future of our nation, Suzy. Get it to your Brain, Suzy.

Sorry, you cant’s afford to lie to us anymore Suzy, you are morally broke. You are rejected!!!!!!! Suzy.

You did too much damage already Suzy, and now shut up and enjoy your retirement paid by the oligarchs whose propaganda you spewed across the nation and created thousands of victims. It stinks to heaven when you are in the room Suzy. Get out.

And those who really want to know what’s going on, don’t listed to Suzy read this instead:

https://contrarianopinion.wordpress.com/economy-update/

Sat, 08/22/2015 - 21:13 | 6456882 fatlibertarian
fatlibertarian's picture

Why don't we just have markets that can only go up?

Who needs pricing?

Sat, 08/22/2015 - 21:16 | 6456889 I Write Code
I Write Code's picture

Oh Janet won't you buy me a Mercedes Benz
My friends all drive Teslas I must make amends
I bought the fucking all time high, no help from my friends
So Janet won't you buy me a Mercedes Benz.

Sat, 08/22/2015 - 21:32 | 6456912 Mr. Guts
Mr. Guts's picture
  •  I thought you said "Orman." You know, Chief Orman.

  •  I didn't say Chief Orman.

  •  I said Tommy Korman, loud and clear. Come on!

Sat, 08/22/2015 - 21:40 | 6456927 Raul44
Raul44's picture

Nonsense, I actually believe FED pays these people to make such claims so that it looks like it did what "people" wanted/demanded. Its same as with presidents, they`re just hollywood acting clowns.

Sat, 08/22/2015 - 21:45 | 6456936 Fourmyle
Fourmyle's picture

Going to be tough to top this.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8Ytj-2JZ2pI&feature=youtu.be  Ah well, butter is melted, popcorn on the way. May well be doomed, but still entertained.
Sat, 08/22/2015 - 22:00 | 6456949 Md4
Md4's picture

Is it any wonder that with "personal finance experts" such as these, that the personal finances of America have never been worse?"

These people are certifiably insane...

If the masses of American's still struggling with the warping effects of what's been done to them thus far fail to rise and DEMAND an end to the bullshit feeding croynism and the Wall Street racket this time...

They don't EVER deserve to actually "recover".

I don't care how badly it burns down (all the way to "Mad Max" if that's our fate; certainly MORE of "Mad Money's" prescription will be a non-stop flight there anyway), these bastards must be stopped.

The country cannot survive any more warping crony capitalism.

Let enough FINALLY be enough already.

m

Sat, 08/22/2015 - 22:35 | 6457005 Bill of Rights
Bill of Rights's picture

There is a purpose to this call for another bailout, it's called preparing you to accept it, and not be surprised by it. Say it enough times and they believe it.

The coming inflation is gonna be epic.already we hear calls of $6.00 for a dozen eggs, bird flu my ass...

Sat, 08/22/2015 - 22:46 | 6457023 fowlerja
fowlerja's picture

Suze and Jim and the FED only think interest rates can go down and stay near zero forever? Is this the new normal....whatever...it is so against "commonsensical"...that their comments are a joke...

Sat, 08/22/2015 - 23:19 | 6457058 KuriousKat
KuriousKat's picture

Suze Orman

 

?

@SuzeOrmanShow

@jimcramer Jim do something. This is so crazy. This did not need to happen. I know run for President.

 

What is it about the word Dead you don't understand?!

He's DEAD Jim !

https://www.youtube.com/watch?t=48&v=MH7KYmGnj40

 

 

 

 

Sat, 08/22/2015 - 23:38 | 6457085 cherry picker
cherry picker's picture

China, S Korea and Germany manufactures stuff.

Countries like Russia, Australia, Canada have raw materials

The latin American countries have coffee, fruits, vegetables and narcotics.

The USA via Fed prints money (physical and digits) and fills the world's wallets of the 1% and don't charge interest

Yet loan sharks, credit card companies and other 1% companies charge a lot of interest to the little guy for money produced by pressing a key.

Something doesn't make sense here to my little brain.

*I am not an academic, so some of the above may not be 100% accurate, but I think you get the drift of what I am thinking.

Do NOT follow this link or you will be banned from the site!