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Deez Nuts On Top Of Hillary Clinton
On Wednesday we documented the unlikely rise of dark horse Presidential candidate "Deez Nuts" who, at last count, was polling at or near 9% in three states.
Obviously, this is a story where the punchlines write themselves, and while there’s no doubt that some of Nuts’ popularity is simply a reflection of the fact that voters in Iowa, Minnesota, and North Carolina have a sense of humor, it also says something about the state of American politics and, indirectly, about Donald Trump’s rise to the top of the polls. Here’s how we put it:
The endemic corruption, crony capitalism, rampant regulatory capture, and licentious logrolling that many voters have come to associate with the American political process has created a deep-seated desire for change and if there are two names which most certainly do not portend a break from business as usual inside the Beltway they are "Bush" and "Clinton."
And while some were disappointed to learn that Deez Nuts is actually a 15-year-old farm boy from Iowa (apparently at least some voters were hoping to see Nuts make a real run for The White House), his popularity is still growing and it certainly seems as though the media and at least one polling company are set to see just how far Deez Nuts can run (so to speak).
Below, find a graphic which shows that search interest for Nuts is now greater than for Hillary Clinton along with the backstory from The New York Times.
From The New York Times:
The presidential candidate Deez Nuts was surging on Wednesday in a poll, albeit unscientific, in North Carolina.
Deez Nuts was also the No. 1 trending topic on Twitter.
For anyone who has fallen 24 hours behind the campaign news cycle, Deez Nuts is a registered independent, a supporter of a balanced budget and the Iran nuclear deal — and a 15-year-old farm boy from Iowa.
In registering with the Federal Election Commission last month, Deez Nuts listed an address in rural Wallingford, Iowa, that is the home of Mark and
Teresa Olson. Mr. Olson, who farms 2,000 acres of corn and soybeans, said in an interview that Deez Nuts was his son Brady, who begins his sophomore year in high school next week.
Like any surging candidate, Deez Nuts has been besieged with requests from the national news media since becoming an Internet meme, but has said he would be interviewed only by email. “School’s starting back up and I still have to sort this out,’’ he wrote to this reporter.
Asked why Deez Nuts entered the presidential race, Brady replied, “To clear the way for a future third-party movement.’’
Tom Jensen, the director of Public Policy Polling, said he added Deez Nuts to statewide survey three weeks ago because “the name makes people laugh, and it’s a long presidential election.’’
But Mr. Jensen also drew a serious conclusion from the Deez Nuts surge.
“I would say Mr. Nuts is the most ludicrous and unqualified third-party candidate you could have, but he’s still polling at 7, 8, 9 percent,’’ Mr. Jensen said. “Right now the voters don’t like either of the people leading in the two main parties, and that creates an appetite for a third-party candidate.’’
After the North Carolina results, which were picked up by television news broadcast, Mr. Jensen thought the joke had run its course. But now that Deez
Nuts is receiving a wave of publicity, the pollster is curious to see if the Deez Nuts candidacy can be lifted higher. Mr. Jensen plans to include the independent in polls in New Hampshire this weekend and in a national survey next week.
* * *
Bonus: the Deez Nuts campaign platform from the candidate's official campaign website
Illegal Immigration
I believe that anyone who is found as an illegal immigrant in this country must be deported back to their country of origin, with the lone exception of being a minor.
Federal Budget & Government Spending
I believe that the US Government should not be allowed to spend more than it makes from tax revenue. The reason we are in a budget crisis is because the two main parties refuse to compromise on this issue. Every federal official in either Congress, President, or the Cabinet, should immediately have their salary cut in half. Once the budget is balanced, those salaries may slowly rise. If the budget returns negative, salaries go back to where they started.
Abortion & Same-Sex Marriage
I feel that as equal human beings that we should be allowed to choose how to live our lives without being discriminated by one another. At the same time however, I also understand that people believe that Christian religion outweighs government policy. But America is no longer mainly Christian. It is Christian, Jewish, Islam, Hebrew, and many others.
Foreign Policy
I support the work that John Kerry and the State Department did with the Iran nuclear deal, considering it took nearly two years to reach this point. Everyone wants a better deal, but that's the whole point of negotiating. Look at your wants, then their wants, and meet in the middle. Now is the time being respected instead of feared by other nations. I also feel that we need to stop being a world watchdog and limit our positions in international conflicts.
Energy
I support cutting subsidies to oil companies and giving tax incentives to individuals and corporations that implement green technology and renewable energy sources into their communities. I also support giving grants to communities for the purpose of installing municipal wind turbines, hydroelectric dams, and rooftop solar panels.
Economy
I support giving corporations tax incentives for the sole purpose of creating jobs IN America TO Americans FOR Americans. This will in turn stimulate the economy and make us more self-sufficient instead of relying on products from foreign countries.
Territorial Voting Rights
I support giving citizens in our American territories voting rights. I also support giving American Samoan citizens automatic US citizenship. I would give Puerto Rico 3 electoral votes since Puerto Rico is bigger than many states. Guam, the US Virgin Islands, and the Northern Marianas all get 2 since they are smaller, but still incorporated territories. Finally, American Samoa would only get 1 since it is still considered an "unincorporated" territory. This would bring the total of electoral votes from 538 to 548. I also support giving all 5 territories plus Washington, D.C. 1 seat in the House of Representatives instead of non-voting delegates. This would bring seats in the House from 435 to 441.
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US : Always keeping it classy.
Well, we know they Deez Nuts are not on her chin. Huma has that spot reserved.
Walnuts = nuts on a wall.
Chestnuts = nuts on a chest
Deez Nutz on top of Hillary = Huma's out of town & Hill's bi-curious.
Be funny if she went straight after, funnier if with Bill.
You don't get on top of Hillary, she mounts you or pegged doggie style.
Nobody, and I mean NOBODY, goes around yelling "TO HELL WITH MOTHER NATURE", execpt Hillary.
Hillary Clinton is a soulless, morally bankrupt wannabe and anyone who likes her is brainwashed. Fuck her, her husband, the dems, the republicans, etc. let's put a fifteen year old in charge. He can't do any worse that the CFR puppets push us towards nuclear war.
It's been fun...
Deez Nuts actually has a pretty good platform. 15 year old farm boy from Iowa turns out to be leagues better than a bush / clinton. Take note 'merica!
You just cannot make this stuff up. Maybe it's a four-way: Deez Nuts on top of Hilary, spit roasted by Bill, and Monica backwards cowgirl
Personally, I'm waiting for a Dwayne Elizondo Herbert Mountain Dew Camacho to come along. Perhaps a Deez Nuts/Mountain Dew Camacho 2016 ticket?
SHILLARY IS RAPIDLY LOSING POPULARITY AND IS ON THE VERGE OF GOING TO PRISON
SANDERBLATT IS A FUCKING COMMUNIST WHO ONLY APPEALS TO MILLENIALS WHO WILL JUST TALK ABOUT HOW GOOD HE IS BUT WON'T ACTUALLY VOTE
JEB BUSH IS A DYNASTY CLONE WITH A DEMONIZED FAMILY NAME
THE REST OF THE GOP CANDIDATES ARE LITERAL CUCKS
She's probably going to blame the Tea Party for this
EDIT: OK.....Teabaggers
That was the joke or lack thereof pehaps
That movie was extraordinarily optomistic. 500 YRS. America is so exceptional we can rot from the inside out in < 50.
What's funny is he is halfway there on several of those issues, which is better than most candidates. He supports giving subsidies to green energy companies and taking them away from oil companies. How about no subsidies for anyone? Same with same sex marriage, he points out that it's no one else's business, but doesn't really go further. How about we get govt out of entirely. Still pretty damn good for a 15 year old.
I just like it that it reveals our entire process and system of govt as the corrupt joke that it is. He is polling better than most of the career politicians in both parties.
I prefer Dem Nuts.
https://i.chzbgr.com/maxW500/8290409728/h479EE652/
Of course.
Everyone with a functioning brain knows Hitlery is more corrupt than Tricky Dick Nixon. In fact, the evil old bitch makes Tricky Dick look like an altar boy.
So nobody bothers to Google Hitlery. She doesn't stand for anything except self-aggrandizement.
The people who will vote for her know all of that already. They just don't think it matters.
SOMEONE DISOWN THIS BITCH!!
I don't vote because I don't think we ever have a good choice and it doesn't matter anyways, but I would vote for a 15 year old farmer over any of the other candidates.
After the last 30 years of politics how could you fuck things up any worse?
Deez Nuts Bitchez!
He's getting laid all over his town.
Deez Nuts went "viral" with the help of the GOP and DNC. As they try in vain to take momentum from Trump and the issues he brings up. They no longer have legitimate candidates so they invent a frivolity to say "look at the shiny object"
Deez Nuts was viral in the "vine" community for over a year. Any 15 yo would know all about it, so I'm not surprized that the cheeky little brat went that direction.
It's worse than you are currently thinking. Here is just one of the many (scores maybe hundreds) of Deez Nuts video compilations, many of which have MILLIONS of views:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=j_RdsmyXRGY
Deez Nuts/Your Mother for P and VP!
Campaign slogan: Teabag the D-bags!
"Guillotine" too.
Zion is a scheme, not an ethnicity.
And now we can see what a K-12 public education in Iowa can buy.
Asked why Deez Nuts entered the presidential race, Brady replied, “To clear the way for a future third-party movement.’’
Mr. Jensen said: “Right now the voters don’t like either of the people leading in the two main parties, and that creates an appetite for a third-party candidate.’’
This kid is more clever than many give him credit for.
Jesse Ventura.
The time has come.
Nuts is a brain-polluted idiot like the rest, the shame is he is 15. If that were my 15 year old; I would be ashamed and embarrassed.
Really, Crocodile?
What would you have your 15-year-old kid do - prepare themselves for a life of servitude to oligarchs that run the usurped voting process and corrupt justice system? Serve the masters of a gutted constitution and die for Israel or Saudi Arabia - or whatever other shitty little country buys their way with our congressional whores? Go into a lifetime of debt for the privilege of working in a God damn cubicle doing 'customer service' or maybe bartending or selling tacos? All this while watching the psychopathic politicians hold another orgy of greed and bribe-pedaling in some kind of profane charade of voting and democracy?
YOU AND I are the ones that should be ashamed and embarrassed - that we let the U.S. turn into a shithole during our lifetimes and are handing it over to the Brady Olsons to fix. What the fuck did that kid ever do to YOU? Who are you and I to squander the sacrifice of everyone that died for this country and shrug our shoulders at the clownfuckery that goes on every day in Washington?
Brain-polluted idiot? Hardly. Seems like Brady has a fucking clue as to what's wrong with this country: don't expect the same psychopaths that ruined it to magically fix it by voting for them again using the same broken system.
BTW: Brady Olson is not Deez Nuts. It's a prank candidate he made up to make a point.
Be cool paveway, The CROC is a religious nut ....he can't stand the competition!
The kid has moxie, and now he has name recognition in the political arena.
I'd be proud of him.
.
Minimalist Art
Work that Southern accent you phoney baloney.
Not surprising; Deez Nuts has no backlog of suspect emails.
In fact inspite of his name Deez Nuts is unknown to Ashley Madison.
Now dat is AWESOME for a political candidate.
U mean you don't sell yourself to the lobbies and you don't buy yourself a f*** buddy?
You r some strange political animal Deez !
Wow...articulates the issues clearly, succintly and logically...Deez has it together..ironic a 15 year old has it more together than anyone but Trump.
Hmmmmm, and I alway's thought it was Shrillary's nuts on top of Huma.
Is the title a play on words. Or is Hillary's accompanying photo her honest reaction to sex. (inquiring minds want to know)
Top 10 all time funniest article titles contender for sure.
look could ZH use a picture of say a pig head and call it hillary clinton, I mean stop with the torture of using her pics - at least let william B edit them..thank you in advance.
Phoney Baloney leads Hilda by 6 points.
Deez Nutz widening the spread on Hitlery Rotten, capturing the NOTA (no o' the above) vote.
How much wider can Shrillary's spread get?
Put her and Moochelle's asses in white pants and open a drive-in movie theater..
Or drive in whatever you want but count me out.
I love it. Stature by association and Hillary looses and is degraded at the same time.
I love Bill Burr's take on the election. Mentions Bilderberg and Illuminati on network TV.
https://youtu.be/vFIjdZ75xgo
Good job common core!!!!!
.
I would rather they be hanging off her chin instead.
At least that would shut her up.
I would rather they be hanging off her chin instead.
At least that would shut her up.
<-- Hillary Clinton
<-- Ashley Madison
Poll question to be provided later.
Poll question:
When Bill Clinton said to Monica Lewinsky: "I never had sex with that women", who was he referring to?
Dude! Super bad imagery!
"Deez Nuts On Top Of Hillary Clinton"
Well, that's a first.
Deez Nuts is cracken them in the poles. His father, Big Nuts, is quite proud of his little pistachio. In fact he has been quoted as saying "Deez didn't fall far from the tree."
His candidacy has been called nutter butter by his detractors. But Deez Nuts is so full of his early success that it's now being reported that his campaign slogan will be named "Bust a Nut for America!"
On second thought, Hillary's expression really shows how she likes taking it in the rear.
Camacho for President!
Go away! I'm baitin!
Pvt. Joe Bowers: Man, I could really go for a Starbucks, y'know?
Frito: I don't really think we have time for a handjob, Joe.
In an atmosphere of dissatisfaction and disillusionment with the status quo, what better strategy by the big-moneyed interests to maintain their stranglehold, than to offer up precisely what is in play right now, in order to bring the sheep back into the fold of 'safety'...?
Ahem, there is still only one candidate that can satisfy all the electorate. Me.
Deez Nuts always did a great job guiding me...
Hilary teabagged!
Idiocracy is almost here. The only thing Mike Judge got wrong in that movie was the time frame. It's not going to take 500 years. While the internet spreads information far and wide at the spead of light, it also happens to the same thing for stupidity
No shit huh!
Terry Crewes for President (with Vince McMahon pulling the strings)
Deez Nuts is okay but I'm votin' for his brother, Doze Nuts. Deez Nuts for secretary of state and between Deez and Doze, we'll get this country back on track.
I am DaNuts, does that count?
I believe yer brotha DoNuts has more name recognition! :>D
He is DemNuts
Deez Nuts On Top Of Hillary ClintonI thought she liked women ... lololol
Jimmy McMillan from the Rent is Too Damn High Party endorses Deez Nuts for President.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PnvbAGiujOQ
In Washington D.C..... http://cdn.meme.am/instances/400x/58630824.jpg
Need to go after the female votes by getting a VP DeezDykes.
I think this country may finally be ready for a its Brewsters Millions moment: Vote for "None of the above"
Deez Nuts is on top of Shrillary'?
He's only 15!
If she was his high school biology teacher she'd be doing time for child rape.
So this bitch gets away with bangin' a 15 y.o. kid too?
Question is, how much booze did she have to give him to pop the cootchie?
Maybe that's what all of those personal emails were about.
I'm still voting for EZ DICK. Fuck these mainstream cunts.
If i had a pair of nuts on the wall what would i have?
Walnuts?
Yes.
If i had some nuts hanging on your chest what would you have?
Chestnuts?
I said oh yes.
If i had some nuts hanging on your chin what would you have?
Chinnuts?
I said hell no bitch youd have a dick in your mouth!
Trump Deez Nutz 2016 does make a catchy campaign slogan.
The absolute joy in all this, isn't as much as seeing the bitch go down, is that all her fucking cult followers, who are getting their faces smired with her shit, will finally have their leftist, bolshevik, collectivist, smug attitudes silenced, once and for all.
Hillary is going nowhere. Obamas hate the Clintons and will sick the Just-Us department on Hillary.
The Obamas let Hillary bask in a few months of glory before they destroy her and throw another candidate to take the nomination away from her.
Billy boy better stay away from Hillary for a few months after she realizes that she has been taken for a ride around the block and ends up at the same place she started.
That fat ,disgusting old clam-bumping pig ain't never, and will never have ANY nuts on her except her own.
Dear Hill,
praying that the head thing you had awhile back is a berry aneurism.
P.S. Fuck off!
This is becoming a case study in how long TPTB can prop up a totally unelectable (in a free society) candidate.
VOTE DEEZ NUTS AND I WILL TEABAG ROTTENHAM CLINTOON! DO IT FOR THE COUNTRY, AND DO IT TO SEE HILLERY CHIN-NUTS!